Polka Dot Mama

No Limits

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 02:35:00 +0000

Some things that Poppy thinks that I might want to consider as alternative careers.

Gardener (though I need to exercise so that I have the stamina for this profession)
Professional Birdwatcher
Music Star
Artist
Ventriloquist
Science Girl
Server at a restaurant
Sell Cell phones
Educational Assistant
Judge
Jeweler
Furniture builder
Dressmaker
Photographer
Dog Breeder
PoliceGirl
Orange juice maker
Opthamologist (eye checker)
Audiologist (ear checker)

Compost

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 23:54:00 +0000

I found this Magnetic Poetry documented on a 1998 home video and thought I'd shared it with the masses because it's just so...classy. ;)

Compost

dog poop
give it some time
roll and turn
let the potty linger
fertile earth emerges
you have coaxed crap into dirt
by giving it peace
smell the fresh bouquet

Wisdom of Babes

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 23:42:00 +0000

They just want your money. They don't care if you're happy. They just want your money.

Detour

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 02:16:00 +0000

I was going to post all about Paris Disney over a month ago. Well, perhaps I'll get to that yet. Life has kind of taken a detour. As August started, I found out my step dad hadn't been doing well. I'd known something was up while we were in Germany, but it wasn't until my mom moved up a routine appointment once we got home, because she was worried.

My step dad had bile duct cancer. They've been here meeting with specialists to see how to treat this. He's had several tests to see if his heart and lungs can withstand the huge operation that he'll need. In the end, I guess they are...or they hope they are.

On Wednesday, he will have a huge operation where he will have major organs removed so they can make sure they have excised all the cancerous tissue. He'll have ten days in hospital at a minimum to recover.

So we are home this Labor Day weekend. Thankfully. We are recovering, resting, relaxing and trying to get ready for school to start on Tuesday. Poppy needs a desk to work on, after all.

Friday the Thirteenth

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 01:56:00 +0000

I'm not the superstitious type for the most part, but there are times where I see strange coincidences here and there that are simply too amazing not to ponder. But Friday the 13th has never been one of those days where I felt that my life was going to be doomed or fated to have bad things happen.

Today, a few bad things happened. First there was a tornado. Poppy and I packed up some toys, the dog bed and my laptop and made it to the basement. Not a big deal. Thankfully, no one was injured when the huge twister touched down.

While we were downstairs waiting out the Tornado Warning/Flash Flood Warning/Severe Thunderstorm Warning, Sophie, our dog, hopped up next to me on the couch. She's very nervous in storms and wanted to cuddle.

Sophie had been acting a little odd all day, shaking her ear as if she had water in one and she was just less spry than normal. As she settled in next to me, I reached for her right hear and stroked and then I moved to her left. What I felt when I touched the left ear shocked me! It was full of fluid, warm and very heavy. I immediately called the vet.

The sky decided that was the moment to truly open up, but water never killed anyone except the Wicked Witch of the West. So the dog, Poppy and I tromped through the water, running through a few huge puddles as we made our way to the veterinarian's office. They brought us towels. That was nice. :)

As I spoke to the vet tech, I realized this wasn't going to be a quick aspiration of fluid with a needle. No. This was going to be full fledged surgery. Sophie had a aural hematoma. Basically a blood blister under the skin of her ear which is caused by excessive shaking or scratching. With her ear infection that we've been unsuccessfully trying to clear up, she had been doing both.

So they cut the inner portion of her ear flap and drained it. Then they put numerous stitches right through her ear and cartilage. So basically, she has multiple piercings. I wonder if my sapphire studs will work with the color of her fur.

Anyway, I digress. The wound must stay open for at least a week to continue draining. There is blood all over her white fur and she's quite miserable. Poor thing.

On our way to pick Sophie up from her afternoon at the vet's office, I spoke to my mother. It turns out that my step father has a blocked bile duct. Based on the tests they've already done they are 75% sure he has liver cancer. I had to cut my mom off because we arrived at the vet who stayed open until 7:30 for us.

So after the directions on how to care for my dog in her convalescence, I finally get to talk to my mom.

I don't think all this happened because it's Friday the thirteenth but it's an awfully crazy coincidence that it occurred on the same day.

I do believe that bad things happen in threes though.

Honesty, Guilt, Friendship, Risk

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 19:00:00 +0000

I was talking to my friend, Chad, last winter about guilt and honesty. It was one of the more refreshing conversations that I've had in a very long time because he completely understood me. Chad grew up in Wisconsin as a Lutheran boy, where I grew up in North Dakota in the same religion. One of the things I said to him was, "Us Lutherans don't have the option of going to confession to absolve our sins. We have to carry our guilt around and wait for it to dry, crust up and fall to the ground on its own."

Gross visual, I realize, but guilt is like that. It eats at you and sucks your life away.

Currently, neither Chad or I are religious people, but the Lutheran in us was branded into our skin whether we like it or not.

For those of you new to this blog, I write fiction. (No, I will not give you a link.) While writing one of my characters, he did something awful (a huge lie of omission) and his guilt literally made him ill. He quit eating and sleeping and basically turned all his guilt inward. To a lesser degree, I'm like that. I used to get to the point that I couldn't eat or sleep if I wasn't completely honest, even if it was something of no consequence. The act of lying, whether blatant or through omission was just unacceptable to me.

This is what Chad got.

But I found a way to release myself from that. I talk. Sometimes it's to the person I've wronged, but mainly it's to my husband or a friend.

And that brings me to the main point of this...discussion/rant.

When I make friends, I am initially quite elusive. That is not even a conscious thing, though it's becoming more so. People often find me open and fun to be around but there is more there than meets the eye. I am snarky, sarcastic and make a lot of jokes to keep people at a distance. If I'm meeting someone in a more work related situation, I often end up seeming naïve, where I bend to another person's opinion quite easily. I assume they know better than me...until I come to an area where I am certain I know better. But I digress.

So basically I've shown people a mask. We all do this. It's our public persona after all.

But to a Lutheran girl growing up in the Midwest, this feels like I'm lying. I'm not being honest and then guilt sets in.

This is where my conversation with Chad eventually led. And he is the only other person that I've encountered that has felt this way. He's the only other person I've admitted this to, actually.

So as a friendship develops, I reveal more and more about myself. Initially it is stuff that seems like it's secrets about myself that really are nothing more than facts about me. (I've been raped. I have epilepsy. I have a son I relinquished for adoption.) To some, that would be a huge revelation. To me, it's really nothing. It's facts about my life. But it keeps people at a distance for a bit longer so that I can make sure I can trust them. They get the feelings behind that stuff only when I know there is trust. That's where the meat of me is.

Do you see where this is going? Yeah, Posy has been burned by friends...a lot.

But eventually I let a few souls in. Besides my family there are currently 4 people that I've let in. Some are in further than others. One is in so far that I admitted to him that I'm insecure in friendships and told him exactly what I needed to not feel that way. That was a huge step for me. I'm not really one to tell people what I need...ever.

Then something happens with friendships as they develop.

I become more serious and start to let people see my weaknesses. That's what friends do, right? That's what creates intimacy and connections. It's one of those necessary things that you need to do in order for the relationship to strengthen.

We all know when this happens. It's like a feeling about a person that is very similar to fight or flight. Do you keep the relationship at it's current level of intimacy or do you fight to get closer?

Or do you walk away?

With the 4 people I'm close with, I've decided to deepen the relationship, but in doing so there are risks. Obviously there is the risk of hurt and all that. But that isn't the risk that has plagued me over the years or that is bothering me today.

It's the loss of mystery.

People often like the social mask of Posy and if they don't, well, they aren't worth my time in the first place...unless I work with them. But that's another story entirely.

The minute I allow people to look down the rabbit hole is when I get scared.

What will they do? In the best case scenario they see all the bad stuff swimming around in the rainbow of good and they still love me. In the worst, they walk away with barely a word said.

And to me, walking away wordless is so much worse than telling me why you are walking away.

Because it's a lie of omission.

But I refuse to sacrifice my honesty to protect my heart.

Birthday Presence.

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 00:53:00 +0000

I'm writing a lot of stories for birthdays lately. It seems everyone has a bday in the summer. I enjoy writing short stories and even little 100 word drabbles, but it seems like I'm doing an awful lot of them. It used to be one every few months. Of course, I knew a lot less people back then.

So, I guess the question I keep asking myself is how do I determine who I'll write for? I can't possibly write for everyone. I'd be writing something every week, it seems.

Maybe I should be writing myself a birthday story this month. I will be celebrating my last year in my 30's and hey, why not?

But of course, I won't be writing for myself. I'll be writing for the 3 other people this month who celebrate. Of course, it's only the first, so who knows how many more emails I'll get before the month is out.

But August 11th will be all mine.

Talking to Kids about Sex

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 20:01:00 +0000

A friend of mine wrote this article. I couldn't have said it better. http://www.momsinbabeland.com/parenting/did-you-and-daddy-ever-do-sex/

Valleys, Bunnies & Bier

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 19:49:00 +0000

As the plane's landing gear lost contact with the earth, it didn't happen. Nor did it happen when the tires hit the runway a few hours later. The second take off and landing brought about the same results. But within minutes of sitting in the back seat of the Volkswagen it finally happened. What, you ask? Motion sickness. I had been pumping Poppy full of meds to avoid this exact thing but it just didn't work. We drove out of Dusseldorf and came close to my sister's home in the Kyll Valley, the roads became hair pins with hills and valleys to match the turns. Of course it happened again. But soon we were there. And the view from our third floor room was so worth it. Photos don't do it justice, but here's one.

But then we arrived and Poppy started to play with the bunnies. Well, I played with them as well. My sister and I used to have pet bunnies when we were girls but our rabbits were huge compared to these little petit sweeties. Hansel is on the left and Gretel on the right.

We look pretty good considering we'd been on a plane for over 12 hours. The next day Poppy got to feed Gretel dandelion leaves. She seemed to enjoy them. Poppy certainly enjoyed feeing her.

The reason we are here is because of my oldest nephew's high school graduation. We spent an evening celebrating, though it wasn't our first night drinking. I'm in Bier country, after all. I found my favorite, a Hefeweizen. I'd take that over water any day! I bought a case tonight. :)

So, our first week we spent our time in my sister's village. It's a beautiful, idyllic village and the views outside my room are breath taking, especially when the fog billows up from the river valley of it's own accord, covering the trees below. I've met my sister's neighbors, eaten at their favorite restaurant and even visited the grocery store for booze...twice.

Poppy misses her dad. Truth be told, I do too, but walking down the street is a wonderful way to spend the day.

Simplify

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 03:55:00 +0000

I'm combining all my blogs into one. Please use the labels on the side to help navigate. Enjoy the one stop shopping convenience that only Polka Dot Mama can bring you.

Gym Time

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 02:54:00 +0000

I joined the gym earlier this month. I'd been considering it for some time but you know, exercise sucks. So I waited. And waited. And waited. Then I gained weight back. Then I decided to join the gym.

One thing I'm doing a bit differently this time around is going through a wellness program. When I asked what it was or when ever anyone tries to explain it, they get stuck in some sort of metaphysical time warp, but it's really an easy explanation, if you ask me. It's basically exercise group therapy. We work on goals and identify our strengths and challenges as well as work on how to get past them. Very much like therapy. But it's also very much like my job as well: working as an adult educator.

Yesterday, I met with my wellness coaches and talked about my "steaming pile of poo," as I called it during a meeting last week. In the end, several things were identified that I hope will help me get through the three weeks of hell you have when you first start back to the gym. I found a way for me to enjoy the gym to, or at least for it to seem as if it's more than just exercise and pain.

I also made some goals and I'm going to share them with you. I figure the more people I share them with, the more people will bug me about them and the more likely I'll be to succeed this time and make a permanent change (says the woman as she sips on wine as she cuddles with her laptop on her warm bed).

Workout for 30 mins at least 3 times a week.
Jog for a portion of my workout on the treadmill. (my dream is to be a runner)
Take at least 10 minutes to eat my supper. (I tend to shovel and then groan later)
Drink at least 3 Sigg bottles a day. (which reminds me, I think I have 1.5 left before bedtime)
Take public transportation downtown

I know the last one is very random, but I'm freaked out by public transportation: buses, trains, planes and even cabs. I think I fear screwing something up. When I was in Europe, I put my pass into the slot to get down into the subway system and the damn doors shut on my crotch (of all places - I can still feel it, it hurt so bad). The Subway worker thought I was jumping the turnstile. I wasn't but that was the start of my fear...and my friends getting felt up and mugged on the train in Greece didn't help at all. Kinda turned me off to public transportation. So I have to work through my fear, I've decided. Especially since I'm going to Europe in a little over a month and San Diego in July.

The wellness program is a 12 week commitment and I'm hoping I'll be so in love with exercise by that point, that I won't want to quit. Either that or I'll suddenly be a runner and win the NY Marathon.

Hey, it could happen.

Lemon Zest

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:35:00 +0000

Some of you may wonder what I have been writing these days. I've eluded to it in my posts but haven't come right out and said it. I write Fan Fiction. What the hell is Fan Fiction (FF), you ask? Let me give you the short and dirty version. If you want more details Wiki it and find out for yourself. :)

With FF, you write a story based off of a published book, series, movie, television show or video game. It is basically a way for people to write and read the stories they wish they could have seen/read with characters they love. The nice thing about it, initially at least, is that you have a world set up, characters defined and even personal interaction patterns established. Many times FF stories expand on scenes, including love scenes, fights and other content that is often left out of media due to censorship or time/page constraints. The lovely thing about FF to me, is that you can create relationships with well established characters who had little interaction in the original work. You can make Edward dump Bella and fall in love with Jasper instead. You can do anything, within reason. ;)

Because of the sexual content, aka lemons, people who read FF have often gotten a bad rap. I believe this is undeserved and when I recently read about the readers of Twilight Fan Fiction being described as "nothing but horny housewives with nothing better to do," I got a little peeved. Sure, there are some folks out there who are lemon h00rs, skipping plot and digging for the citrus, but that isn't the majority of people who read Twi FF. Certainly not the folks I hang with. If it isn't written well and doesn't have a plot, it is not read at all.

The community of women and men are so much more than that stereotype could ever cover. My friends are students, primary care givers, preschool teachers, college professors, accountants, computer programmers, doctors, lawyers, graphic designers, PTA members, community activists, volunteers and more. I have friends in their 20's, 30's, 40's and even a few in their 50's that are regular readers. We are so much more than housewives, puttering around our houses trying to impress the neighbors. Sure, we bake and knit, we bead and paint, we even cook and clean, but we are so much more.

We are women and men who are passionate and independent. We are not afraid of our sexuality and refuse to be held down by the puritanical ideas that permeate American society. We will march in a gay right's parade. We will stand up to child cruelty. We will organize fund raisers that help cancer patients or victims of earth quakes. We have found our voice and share it with each other without shame. But more than anything, we are adults. Adults. That means sexual beings, not chaste and virginal, devoid of sexual desire, and there is nothing wrong with reading about sex with characters you love.

Okay, so we may be horny too, but a healthy sex life leads to a healthier life overall. Seriously, ask your doctor the next time you go. I've seen FF respark marriages, wake up the libido of overwhelmed and overworked mothers and seen how deeply moved people have been by the love expressed by characters that they are moved to tears. I've even had several people tell me that they dream about my characters and ponder what will happen next as they go about their lives.

Beyond the citrus, beyond the stories, beyond the fandom are the friendships. I have met people through this hobby of mine who have allowed me to share my creative thoughts. They have given me the opportunity to become a better writer by giving constructive criticism and sharing what they like about my story. They have reached out to me when I've had a bad day, even holding my virtual hand through some very challenging times.

So much more than "horny housewives."

Google Documents

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:25:00 +0000

When I first started to write my fiction, I used MS Word, like most of the western world, for my word processor. I still do, in fact, but when I began to use a beta (editor), she wanted me to send her my chapters using Google Docs. I had used it once or twice in the past, but really had no idea how to use it properly until she introduced it to me.

Basically, it's a word processor that you can use to easily share documents with other people. I write my chapter, invite her to share the document and she can go in and edit the chapter. She tracks all of her changes by using highlighting and makes comments that I can then go and accept or not. It's change tracker is not as sophisticated as Word's and the spell ck and grammar ck aren't nearly as good either, but the entire program has some huge advantages.

Your document is available online everywhere. You don't have to bring along your computer or even a flash drive. Going to a coffee house or sitting at work and get the inspiration to write? Just log on and boom...it's there.
You can have numerous people work on the same document. I recently wrote a collaborative story and my co-author and I were writing our respective parts, in the same document, at the same time and were able to see what the other was writing. We could make comments about things or ask questions, although we usually used gchat for that.
You can share a document without allowing a person to make changes too. They can just read it, but for me, that feature isn't used much.
I have even started to use it instead of Word, partially because Word on a Mac is a little slow and the constant saving makes it run slow. Gdoc saves regularly, when ever a change is made, but it doesn't slow things down.
You can tie your docs into email, tasks and your calendar, if you use these google services, which I do. I love google.
You can personalize your comment color so that each person in the document has their own identity. My color is green. Even if you all used the same color, each comment is posted with your name and time stamped. Okay, Word does this too, but still. :)

So, what would you use gdocs for? Christmas lists. Invite everyone to view the list and as something is purchased, cross it off. Hmmm. That could work. Anything else you can think of?

A NEW Kind of Writing

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:05:00 +0000

It looks like my last post was on my 38th birthday, the day my life changed. That was the day that a story I write was recommended on a blog and my life, as a fiction writer, exploded. I started to live, eat and breathe my story and have done so until last week, when my mother arrived. Today she left for home and now I am free to write again.

I discovered a community online that I share my story with by submitting a chapter every week or so and then I get feedback. So far so good (actually great!), but the really cool thing about it has been all the friends I've made. We are people of all backgrounds and ages, from all over the globe, though many of the people are mom's in their 30's like me. However, the two people I've become closest with are a guy and a girl in their 20's.

Next week, I am going to travel to meet them in real life...the internet life meets the real life. The three of us are going to Comic Con in July and renting a house, and since I had some time off while Poppy is still in school, I decided to head down there and meet these people.

I am most excited about spending the weekend with people who are just as passionate about writing as I am. We all write fan fiction stories and we are even in love with the same characters. In fact, I've even written a collaborative story with one of my friends. Now we have days to plan our continuing chapters rather than trying to find time together on Skype.

So, if you are wondering where I have been, that is where. I'm sure there is no one left out there besides my husband and maybe my mother-in-law who are even reading this anymore. Sorry for the sabbatical, but I've been writing things that are so much more fulfilling than my blog.

Through my writing, I've discovered a few new pieces of technology that I may share with you from time to time. I'll have to see how this goes.

Proud Parent Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 21:05:00 +0000

I'm a fart master, or I should say a fart queen. It kind of smells perfumey.

NON Eventless Summer

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:53:00 +0000

If you read my last post about Twilight, you will know that it took over my life. My boring, work-free summer has been anything but boring. I discovered fan fiction and started reading. I did that for a month before I was struck with the desire to write. So now I'm writing, but I'm not writing here, as you can tell.

I haven't had much to write about on PDM. I've been sick and kind of stuck in bed. Weakness, no appetite, poor sleep. I've lost 20 pounds, much I'm sure was muscle. Not the best way to lose weight, but when you can only eat about 1/4 of the food you used to before feeling sick, you tend to not push it. And standing up only makes me need to sit back down because of weakness.

In case you are wondering, yes, I have been to the doctor. Blood work came back normal. CT scan showed nothing. They wondered if I had some sort of a virus. It's very possible. After about 6 weeks of no improvement, I started being able to eat and sleep better. My strength is coming back too.

So I'm sorry I haven't been around. I'm sure I haven't been that missed. All readership has probably gone on to bigger and much better things. :) But now I'm writing about other people's lives and it is so much more interesting than my own.

Give Twilight a Chance

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 16:48:00 +0000

I've been sucked into Twilight Fever. For those of you who have lived off planet for the last few months, Twilight is a book by Stephenie Meyer (and recently a movie starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson) about a high school girl, Bella, who falls in love with a beautiful boy, Edward, who just so happens to be a vampire who craves her blood more than any other human's. Unlucky girl or lucky, depending on how you look at it. Meyer contined the saga with 3 more books, none quite as compelling as the first, but addictive none the less.

While there are pieces of the story the go completely against my feminist sensibilities, I am pulled in and deeply affected by the sensual nature of the language Meyer uses to introduce or remind (in my case) the reader how powerful and all encompassing first love is. The added element of danger provided by Edward's venom coated teeth only heightens the experience. Danger is exciting.

The Twilight Saga is marketed to young adults, but I know many more adult women who have been drawn to it's power than girls. In fact, there are scenes written in the 4th book, Breaking Dawn, that many parent's have objected to for their children.

This book has deeply affected me. No, I don't want to fall in love with a vampire or become an immortal, rather it has shown me that I have been living a life without passion. I have been going through the motions of my life without feeling or soul. How Meyer made me feel this is through her words that made me feel the excited zings of power exchanged between Edward and Bella. It took me back to the hyper-emotionally charged reality of my youth where everything was felt fully, but now it can be tempered and controlled by the wisdom of my experience.

After reading the saga twice, I now go to my favorite parts, the exchanges where Edward and Bella reveal themselves to each other, share their core with each other. That is really what the story is about, not a vampire and a girl falling in love.

Great Response

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Fri, 08 May 2009 20:56:00 +0000

Poppy took her bike to school today for the bike rodeo. This is where a volunteer talks to kids about bike safety and kids have the opportunity to practice skills on an obstacle course.

A little background: Poppy is a petite girl, probably the smallest in her class and one of the youngest. Because of her size, many classmates have called her "baby" and other derogatory terms related to size. Her small stature has also delayed her bike riding. She didn't have the gross motor strength to pedal until she was 4. So, she still uses training wheels.

Due to the name calling and the use of training wheels I tried to talk Poppy out of bringing her bike so that more fuel was not added to the fire. Nope. She was bringing her bike and she didn't care. Kudos to her!

When she got home she told me that only one kid teased her. This was her response to the kid. "Yea, so. You had training wheels too." She's got spunk, this one.

Hello Internet

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 02:32:00 +0000

All media was off. It was easier than I thought it would be without the television. Of course, it helped that Lost was not on. Not having the computer was much harder for me. I rely on it for my news. No, I don't read a paper (save the trees, especially during earth week). No, the radio wasn't helpful (especially when we have only one and it has horrible reception). So, needless to say, I felt a little lost not knowing what was going on in the world and jumped on any tidbit I could glean out of folks around me.

I am glad to have my computer back. Being without it for a week made me realize that my love affair with Facebook has pretty much lost it's spark. I don't really care what people are having for dinner, what "fun new" thing they are doing at this exact moment (i.e. standing in line at the Bryan Adams concert), or what their stripper name is. I did miss my news, hulu, email and the ability to answer any number of questions with the flick of a few fingers. I'm glad I'm back.

Turn It Off Week

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:03:00 +0000

...and it's national! As soon as I post this I will shut down my computer, put a closed sign on my television and hide all the small screens in the house.

If you have never tried turning your TV off for a week, you really should do yourself the service. It's amazing what you can find the time to do.

In fact, make a list of everything you do instead of watching TV, surfing the internet, playing video games, and networking online. You might read a book, take a walk, catch up on that pile of magazines and network face to face.

Whatever you do, let me know. But not until next week.

How are you going to pay me?

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 01:56:00 +0000

If I were to use any parenting method to describe the parenting I do most often, I would have to say I use Love & Logic. I use a lot of techniques everyday but that's the easiest ways to convey what I do at my house and the philosophy I have about parenting. Lately, very few things have been working though.

One Love & Logic technique I haven't liked in the past is having your child "pay you back" for misbehavior in time spent doing something like chores, walking the dog or any number of things. It was more torturous for me to make this happen, and at age 3 and 4 she just didn't get it.

Today I tried it again, after a 3 year hiatus. It worked. Poppy, who is nearly 7, did something very disrespectful. I was a little taken aback and was very perplexed. I'm proud of myself for not losing my top! "Paying me back" for disrespecting me and making my life worse for a bit made sense.

So, I told her that she needed to pay me back. She looked at me like I was asking for cash and then I asked her to choose something to do. (Now perhaps I should have told her what to do, but with all of the power struggles we have had lately, I really didn't need to add another. That would defeat the point I was trying to make.) Just in case she didn't choose anything appropriate or quickly enough I had a job that I was going to have her do. It just so happened that she chose the same thing; clean her filthy room.

I happened to be in the tub as all of this payback unfolded so I didn't have the opportunity to keep her on task. In fact, I kept my nose out of her business. She knew she had to be done by the time I got out of the tub. Bonus: I shaved my legs in peace.

So, if you have looked at the "pay back" option as some crazy talk, try it every so often. Your child may surprise you.

Gender Bender

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:19:00 +0000

Yesterday my dear co-worker informed me of a huge mistake on my profile. I have been listed as male. I wonder how long it's been like that.

I am a woman. My blog is called Polka Dot Mama, not Polka Dot Dada.

So, for those of you who thought I was some crazy man impersonating a woman who writes about all manner of things, I am sorry.

I am woman. Hear me roar. *ROAR*

Decorating

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 20:50:00 +0000

I need a real house and a couch.

Quiet, please.

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 20:49:00 +0000

Shhhhhhh Daddy! You're destroying my reading.

National Napping Day

noreply@blogger.com (Posy) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:50:00 +0000

How great is it that National Napping Day follows the start of Day Light Savings time? Could life be more wonderful.

Now where are my jammies? I'm off to doze.