Pondering The Archers

Lynda woos Maurice – Mon 21.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Mon, 21 Oct 2013 22:53:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Monday 21st October 2013

The Bellingham’s Bounce
Maurice has a liking for Anthea
Jazzer has gossip!
Lynda tries to flatter Maurice into submission
Joe doesn’t want to go anywhere

The Bellingham’s Bounce

Is seemingly what’s happening to Tom’s ready meals, according to Maurice.

It means Bellingham’s is selling through the ready meals quite nicely now. Which means Maurice and Jazzer will keep their jobs.

That’s a nice sort of bounce for all concerned.

Maurice has a liking for Anthea

Jazzer’s not getting any place to smoke. Though lighting up in the butchery was not a great idea, seems he also can’t have a quick smoke when he’s doing his milk round.

Though why he thought he needed to go into a bush at the Dower House is anyone’s guess, but:

[Jazzer] “Soon as I sparked up, all hell broke loose.”

Seems Anthea caught him.

[Jazzer] “With a red bob and a stare that could melt rivets.”

Maurice really perks up at the mention of Anthea.

[Jazzer] “Oh aye, got the pacemaker purring has she?”

[Maurice] “I simply find her a refreshing change. It’s not often you find someone who values integrity over popularity.”

But, seems Maurice isn’t interested in Anthea “romantically”. Not when she’s already married.

[Maurice] “I simply admire the way she conducts herself.”

(Oh aye, is that so? The man doth protest …)

Seems Anthea’s been getting round.

Tom bumped into her the other day, and could only think to ask her if she’d eaten any of his ready meals:

[Jazzer] “Always the master of small talk, Tom”

Anthea’s response was:

[Maurice] “She never insults her digestion with convenience, especially when it’s overpriced. Now that, to my mind, is a woman!”

(see … he really, really likes her. Actually, I think they would make quite a formidable couple)

Jazzer has gossip!

He saw Helen pushing off Tom when he was trying to talk to her.

[Maurice] “The giants of investigative journalism can rest easily. That’s not a great scoop.”

Indeed it wasn’t.

But the backstory would be a stunning front page scoop.

Lynda tries to flatter Maurice into submission

[Lynda] “I’ve come in search of Borsetshire’s own Sean Connery.”

[Jazzer] “That’s uncanny. How did you know I’d be here?”

But Lynda wasn’t looking for Jazzer … she has her sights set on Maurice.

Maurice thinks she’s joking.

[Maurice] “Me? In a Play? As Robin Hood?”

[Lynda] “Robin in the prime of life. One who has served abroad for 20 years.”

[Maurice] “I don’t care what sort of Robin … I’m not an actor … By choice, not since Miss Porter talked me into being third shepherd.”

Seems Miss Porter bribed Maurice with liquorice boot laces.

[Maurice] “One low, and two beholds, and that was it. And I forgot the second behold because Mary Norton stuck her tongue out at me. Bang went the bootlaces.”

[Lynda] “Your very lack of experience may give you an advantage over everyone else. You will bring fresh, untutored charm to the role.”

[Maurice] “No I won’t.”

[Lynda] “Raw authenticity …”

[Maurice] “I’m not bringing anything to it.”

Lynda can see he won’t be pressed any further, so tries to leave him a script. But he even refuses that.

(how did she write that so quickly?)

Anyhoo – Lynda later apologises to Jazzer for not wanting him.

(well, Jazzer’s heard that plenty times from women before!)

[Jazzer] “Don’t fash yourself. I’m not much interested in it myself.”

[Lynda] “It’s not Sean Connery’s voice I’m after. It’s his strong, masculine presence.”

[Jazzer] “And you’re saying?”

[Lynda] “I’m referring to the older, more mature Sean Connery.”

[Jazzer] “He’s not into all this dressing up and playing at being a tree and stuff.”

[Lynda] “Unflickering, obstinate … Maurice offers much more than misery, Jazzer. He's such a loss to the local stage … If I can’t have Sean Connery, what chance Audrey Hepburn?”

But Jazzer has a cunning hint.

[Jazzer] “Maurice might have a weak spot.”

And hints that if she chooses her Maid Marion wisely, Maurice might suddenly be interested.

That’ll be Anthea, then.

Joe doesn’t want to go anywhere

Seeing his arm with the plaster cast off has horrified Joe. He reckons his arm looks awful, it’s very sore and that the wrist splint won’t be of any use.

So, he’s back to not wanting to go out again. Even though Jill’s going to drive him and Jim to the cider microbrewery (she’s pals with the owner’s wife).

Later on, Joe’s out to check Ed tending to Bartleby.

[Joe] “I only come to stop you spoiling Bartleby.”

But Ed was only giving him a bit of salt.

Joe also wants Bartleby to have his trap on more often. Even though Ed took him out for at least 30 minutes last night.

There’s just no pleasing him at the moment.

Joe then reckons that Bartleby gives him a “look”.

[Joe] “He wants to know why I ain’t taking care of him … I ain’t never going to get any better.”

Joe’s also worried that Caroline won’t come back with another offer, after he refused her first one.

[Joe] “Should have taken what was offered. We gambled, and we lost.”

Eddie reckons it’ll be fine. And tries to encourage him to go out with Jim.

[Joe] “I ain’t showing myself up in front of strangers.”

Lynda seeks a mature Robin Hood – Sun 20.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Sun, 20 Oct 2013 20:57:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Sunday 20th October 2013

Kirsty auditions
Handbells and One Direction don’t need multiple spotlights
Harassed Cook Hampers
Kirsty and Tom clean out a lagoon
Nathan Booth auditions
Henry’s being a pain
Harriet’s divorcing Ray
Robert wants Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn
The Three Legged Mole
Fallon has a talent
Tom puts his foot in it
Constanza gets brushed

Kirsty auditions

As Maid Marion.

Though Tom’s also in attendance, he can’t be persuaded (cajoled, forced, harassed) into treading the boards.

[Kirsty] “He’s only here for moral support.”

Handbells and One Direction don’t need multiple spotlights

Robert is in an uncharacteristic hump:

[Robert] “She’s playing havoc with the fresnels … it’s always the same … Jenny Thrombin … can’t see a spotlight without rehanging it badly … handbells and a tribute to One Direction, how many spotlights do you need?”

Not as many as that, it would seem.

Harassed Cook Hampers

Seem to be selling well for Tom.

And Underwoods have upped their order across sausages range.

Tom is pleased.

Kirsty and Tom clean out a lagoon

Seems the Bridge farm one needs the reeds and scrub cutting back.

Ah, the joys of early love. It makes event the hardest task seem fun.

Nathan Booth auditions

But we don’t get to hear it.

Funny thing, that.

Though I wish we had, Robert reckoned it was “alarming”.

Henry’s being a pain

[Helen] “No henry, it’s okay to look at the pigs through the fence, not to get in with them.”

[Henry, while trying to climb over the fence] “She’s big!”

Helen pulls him back, but he tries again ti climb. He won’t be distracted away by conkers, or the colour of leaves, or going to see what his granddad and granny are doing.

Oh dear.

Helen also don’t know what to do. Quite literally.

Harriet’s divorcing Ray

[Lynda] “The man who brought disaster on grey Gables … she’s divorcing him. She’s had enough.”

[Robert] “If you’re going to have an affair, at least be discreet … I’m not justifying what he did, I’m just saying that with a little aforethought …”

Oops.

Lynda was not amused by that wee speech from Robert. But she was ever so keen to gloat. Though she protests the opposite:

[Lynda] “It would be unkind to gloat. Caroline and Oliver are already paying for their mistake Ly
And avoidable. If only they’d selected their temporary manager with a bit more thought.”

Robert wants Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn

Robert’s worried about the low turnout for the Panto auditions. He thinks they’re being put off by Robin Hood being too well known.

[Robert] “Perhaps it feels a bit stale .. .let’s give this story a real shake, make it unmissable. I had an idea earlier.”

[Lynda] “Yes?”

[Robert] “Unfortunately, it’s gone again … it was a good one Lyndee, if I could just remember what it was.”

Oh, Robert!

Much later on:

[Robert] “Lyndee it’s come back to me!”

[Lynda] “Robert, how many times! Never startle a llama.”

Robert has remembered a film featuring Sean Connery and Audrey Hepburn which shows Robin and Marion when they were older than usually depicted. Past their prime, with Robin unable to let go of the past.

(It was called Robin and Marian, I think you’ll find)

[Robert] “One minute you’re laughting, next there’s a tear in your eye.”

He reckons it’d bring a whole new meaning to the legend.

Lynda loves it! But, Robert has also spotted a snag:

[Robert] “It’s all very well saying do it like Connery and Hepburn, but really, in Ambridge? … not really feasible.”

[Lynda] “A village Hepburn doesn’t immediately spring to mind.”

But, seems Lynda can think of a Connery in Ambridge:

[Lynda] “With a canny, mature appeal we’re looking for.”

Robert nearly bursts with pride!

But, alas, Lynda doesn’t mean his good self.

[Lynda] “Not you Robert. Someone with real rugged charm.”

Ouch!

I sometimes wonder why Robert even bothers.

The Three Legged Mole

[Kirsty] “You don’t think of mole’s having legs.”

Quite.

But not to worry.

It’s the pub where Kenton will be starting his stag do.

*shudder*

Fallon has a talent

At writing invitations.

Who’d have thunk it.

[Kirsty] “I think she’s more excited about the wedding than her mum.”

Well, I doubt that.

Tom puts his foot in it

On the topic of the panto, seems Tom had tried to get Jazzer to audition (not chance, it seems) and also Rob. He then realised he shouldn’t have harassed Rob at a time like this:

[Tom] “He’s had to go back to Hampshire for the funeral. Hardly the right time to get involved in the Christmas production.”

He then started waffling on about Rob having a “very upset wife” to look after.

All in front of Helen. She’d only come along to see if she and henry could help with clearing the lagoon.

She walks off. Much to Tom’s dismay.

[Tom] “She keeps changing her min at the moment. Her moods are all over the place. Something’s not right, I thought you might have some idea … Something’s upset her, and you know what it is … please Kirsty, I’m worried about her.”

[Kirsty] “Maybe you’re right, but I can’t tell you.”

Kirsty reckons Helen has to tell him herself.

My word.

What will Tom do?

Side with his beloved sister, or his new ready meal guru?

Constanza gets brushed

Seems it’s not as tangled as it was yesterday.

Does Lynda brush her llamas every day?

Rob wants to know Helen’s okay – Fri 18.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Fri, 18 Oct 2013 18:28:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Friday 18th October 2013

Tom doesn’t rush out to work
Middle class problems
Two hounds don’t oblige
Rob tries to ease his guilt
Joe sounds cheery
Tom delivers sausages, veg and a staff member
Kirsty didn’t say ‘I told you so’

Tom doesn’t rush out to work

Tom can’t believe what he wakes up to. In a good way. It’s Kirsty.

Kirsty also can’t believe her luck.

(I still think she’s wrong on that count, but whatever floats her boat, I suppose)

[Kirsty] “I never thought I’d get a second chance with you.”

[Tom] “I don’t know what I was thinking … why did it take me so long, eh?”

(um … you were madly in love with Brenda, I think you’ll find)

[Kirsty] “And you had your pigs to worry about. Hard to compete with them.”

Due to lying in bed gazing longingly at Kirsty, Tom’s running later. But, he doesn’t care.

[Tom] “I’m self-employed. Work can wait.”

Did I really hear Tom say that???

If only he’d done that more often with Brenda, they might have actually stayed together.

And we wouldn’t have to suffer a loved-up Tom audibly snogging Kirsty.

Yuck.

Middle class problems

[Jim] “I’m torn between the spice apple chutney and the fiery piccalilli .”

As a good shop keeper, Helen subtly suggests he buy both. Which he does.

However, I don’t think Joe will be particularly interested in either, at their picnic. He strikes me as more of a Branston Pickle type of a chap.

Two hounds don’t oblige

At the hunt. So, Oliver will find them new homes.

I hope that’s not a euphemism.

Rob tries to ease his guilt

Rob pays a visit to Ambridge Organics

[Helen] “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Coming here, to my work?!?”

Seems Rob was worried that Helen wasn’t answering his texts, so he wanted to come in person to check she was okay.

[Helen] “Why, so you can feel less guilty about using me?”

[Rob] “I was not using you.”

[Helen] “I don’t know what you expect of me.”

Rob wants Helen to realise that she means so much to him. But Helen’s not buying it.

[Helen] “I want no part of this, of your games. Leave me alone, Rob.”

And she chucks him out of the shop.

About time!

Joe sounds cheery

Though still irritated that he can’t get around as easily as before, Jim’s plan to cheer Joe up by taking him to the community orchard seems to have done the trick.

[Joe] “This flaming stick, is like an albatross round me neck.”

Jim reminds Joe that they’re in no hurry.

[Joe] “Don’t you worry about me prof, there’s a bit of life left in me yet.”

That’s an improvement on Joe being sure he’d drop dead any moment!

Joe’s delighted to see that the tree he planted over 50 years ago is still standing strong, and producing the apples he’s been harvesting every year since. He gets his Borsestshire Beauty apples from it. And encourages Jim to have a wee bite.

Ah – that was a wee jest from Joe. It’s a sharp, bitter apple – perfect for cider making.

Good to hear Joe getting back to his naughty ways.

Joe is pleased at being out. And even reckons his arm isn’t hurting him too badly.

[Joe] “But it isn’t too good neither.”

Jim suggests that take a wee visit to Wesley Walker’s cider microbrewery next week. Seems Walter (whoever he is) even has Red Normans. Joe’s not so sure about that. Or about even being at Apple Day.

[Jim] “A short jaunt .. .takes thing slowly, see how you go.”

Aye, step by step.

Tom delivers sausages, veg and a staff member

Lucky Helen!

Actually, she’s not that pleased at all. She expected Kirsty in 30 minutes ago. Though Kirsty isn’t late, she’s normally early.

And, she’s also not pleased Tom’s brought more turnips than cabbages and leeks.

AND she snaps at Tom for telling her how to display jam.

(well, that one was fair enough)

Kirsty didn’t say ‘I told you so’

After Tom had gone, Kirsty tried to get Helen to tell her what was wrong. Her family had noticed that she was snapping at Henry, and now she’s snapping at Tom (well, more so than usual).

Helen tries to say it’s Henry keeping her up (and keeping her tired), but Kirsty keeps pressing.

Which works.

Helen starts crying.

[Helen] “Rob broke up with me.”

[Kirsty] “Why didn’t you tell me?”

[Helen] “You warned me, didn’t you? You said I was going to regret it, and here I am.”

Kirsty takes no pleasure out of being right. And is also sorry that she’s been too wrapped up in Tom to look out for Helen.

[Helen] “We’re so right for each other. It hurts so much, I just can’t think about anything else. I wish I’d never seen him, I wish I’d never met him. Oh Kirsty.”

That’s when Helen’s sobbing really starts.

Oh dear.

The sheep are worried by dogs – Thurs 17.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 16:54:00 +0100

Pondering the Archers Thursday 17th October 2013

Where’s the tensioning tool?
David approves of Kenton marrying
Darrell crawls back in …
The sheep fall into the river!
At least Darrell gets his tools
Jill’s on about cakes
Rob had to be asked to wipe his boots

Where’s the tensioning tool?

Anyone seen it?

A fence is broken, so David needs it.

David approves of Kenton marrying

[David] “I can’t believe Kenton is finally getting hitched … this time feels right.”

Well, I’m sure that’s a great comfort to both Jolene and Kenton.

Darrell crawls back in …

[Darrell] “Sorry.”

Darrell’s back at The Stables. He reckon he didn’t call as he’d run out of credit.

[Shula] “So where … how have you been?”

He reckons he did go to his GP, and had a “good chat”. The phone call before he went in (if he went in) was from Anna. So, he went walkabout for a bit (again).

Which was odd. As it necessitated sleeping in parks again.

And he also forgot to collect his tools from his mate.

[Darrell] “It was alright, noting bad happened … I’m back now, that’s all that matters, innit?”

(yes! I’m sure Shula and Alistair are over the moon that Darrell is back to plague ‘em)

As usual, Shula just pampers him. She gives him tea, sandwich and a bath.

[Darrell] “I didn’t mean to let you down.”

Well, he did. But Shula says nowt about it.

So, once again, Darrell is off the hook. And, once again, he promises that he will get himself sorted. Including picking up his tools.

Darrell reckons the doctor gave him a prescription, and that he’s already picked it up.

[Darrell] “Just some pills. Doctor says they’ll help me sleep.”

And what’s more, he has an interview with a job centre adviser next week.

Hmmm.

He then refuses to look for jobs online with Shula, saying he’ll do it tomorrow. He always says that.

That chap never want to the doctor, did he? And also unlikely he’s made any arrangements with the job centre.

Silly Darrell. But more fool Shula for dispelling all common sense to believe anything he says.

The sheep fall into the river!

David comes across two dogs chasing his sheep. He calls Ruth to see if she can get to them (she’s closer), before they fall into the river.

But neither made it in time. A few of the poor wee sheep had already, in their terror, fallen in. But lucky for them the river wasn’t flowing too quickly.

[David] “They stayed where they were and some of them managed to scramble up the bank.”

One unlucky ewe got snagged in a fence, but it seemed fine enough:

[Ruth] “No blood, from what I can see.”

[David, ever pessimistic] “It’s what you can’t see that’s the problem … Blasted dogs!”

[Ruth] “It’s their blasted owners.”

(quite right Ruth. There’s no bad dogs, just bad owners)

Ruth heads off to drive around and see if she can spot the dogs and their owners, while David calls the Police.

Ruth gets back home, where Jill calms her and David down.

[Jill] “Very distressing … Sit down David, have a slice of cake.”

Without the owners or the dogs, there’s not much the Police can do.

[David] “Dogs worrying livestock is a criminal offense, they’re taking this very seriously.”

Jill had also seen walkers with two dogs. They’d come into the village shop.

[Jill] “Fairly ordinary looking, quite well heeled … They seemed a touch rude, if I’m frank.”

Seems they weren’t too polite when Jill asked them to leave their dogs outside.

Nae need for that.

At least Darrell gets his tools

Darrell gets a lift from Neil to go and get his tools. He reckons he’ll get part of himself back when he gets them back.

Darrell then gets all philosophical. He reckons all he wants is respect as a family man – which he’s as far from having as he is being picked for the England squad. Though Neil reckons it’s never too late.

(I know what he means, but it is most definitely too late for Darrell to be picked by Roy!)

[Neil] “Welcome to parenting. Welcome to fear, like you’ve never know in your life.”

[Darrell] “I suppose my fear is the girls will hate me … I couldn’t stand it if they gave up on me … [when Anna called] she wanted to know why things couldn’t be like they used to.”

Neil reckons his girls are proud of him. Inside.

(hmmmm)

Jill’s on about cakes

As Jill tends to do.

She’s made coffee and walnut cake, to test it out as a recipe she’ll give Emma and Lynda for the cookery cook.

And, she’s well underway with Jolene and Kenton’s wedding cake. She just has the marzipan and icing to do.

[Jill] “I hope I can do the big day justice.”

But of course you can Jill.

You is a cake queen.

Rob had to be asked to wipe his boots

By Jill, when he came into the village shop. They were muddy after he’d been on the hunt.

[Jill] “It seems like a bit of an odd thing to do after bereavement .”

Well, if Diana’s boys went shooting the day after, I reckon Rob can go hunting.

Rob dumps Helen – Wed 16.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 15:11:00 +0100

Pondering the Archers Wednesday 16th October 2013

Rob doesn’t want to hurt Helen, but …
Caroline’s happy, sad, then happy again
Another cow aborted
Darrell’s gone walkabout again
Shula let Alistair do the shopping!

Rob doesn’t want to hurt Helen, but …

Rob calls Helen to ask to see her. As per, she jumps at the chance and makes time for him.

She suggests a meal, but Rob just wants to go for a walk.

(clue that Rob is about to ditch Helen, but Helen doesn’t pick up on #1)

[Helen] “Rob, I’m so glad you’re back. I’ve missed you terribly.”

[Rob, unenthusiastically] “Yeah.”

(clue #2)

When Rob and Helen meet up to walk, Rob’s not remotely interested in the view.

(clue #3)

And wants them to sit down and talk, rather than try to spot deer.

(clue #4)

And onto the main event:

[Rob] “I care for you very much, I really do … and we’ve had a wonderful time together, and you mean a great to me, but … the thing is, we can’t be together, not anymore. I’m so sorry.”

[Helen] “I don’t understand.”

[Rob] “No, course you don’t.”

(eh? What a patronising so and so)

Rob reckons that he’s grown close to Jess again, after having supported her through her father’s death. It was an intense experience that has made him realise:

[Rob] “I have to make a go of things with her.”

[Helen] “No … wait … you’ve been through a lot these few weeks ...you’re in shock, grieving … once you’re back onto your routine in Ambridge, things will be back to normal and we can be together. We should be together.”

Rob reckons he should be with Jess. They have a long history together.

[Rob] “All of it came back to me, it’s not something I can throw away.”

[Helen] “And me? You can throw me away just like that!”

[Rob] “I don’t want to hurt you Helen.”

[Helen] “Then don’t do this!”

[Rob] “I have to. I can’t see you again, I owe it to Jess to our marriage and to myself.”

[Helen] “We were happy together.”

[Rob] “I’m trying to do the right thing Helen, for once in my life.”

[Helen] “I can’t listen anymore …”

And with that, Helen escapes.

In more ways than one. I reckon.

She’ll be heartbroken (yet again), but this was never going to end well.

Caroline’s happy, sad, then happy again

Oliver wants to go hunting. Even though Caroline is actually trying to work.

[Oliver] “I think Maisie deserves a bit more quality time with you.”

Caroline seems to be happy to oblige. Though she does also need to meet with Ian, Lynda and the rest of her team soon.

[Caroline] “Their optimism is quite infectious!”

But, just as all looks rosy, Caroline opens a letter from her solicitor. It’s to say that Joe is refusing their offer:

[Oliver] “I have to say I’m shocked.”

[Caroline] “They’re asking for £5000.”

[Oliver] “Plus costs.”

Caroline’s solicitor reckons that’s an “understandable move”, but Caroline is gutted. She wanted to be able to at least get the ‘situation’ with Joe done and dusted. Especially while that chap from the local author is still investigating.

[Oliver] “Darling, it’s a minor setback, not a disaster.”

And actually, despite all, Caroline seems to concur. She’s back to being chirpy again.

[Oliver] “Caroline appears to be getting back into her groove.”

Especially with the hunting season soon to start.

Another cow aborted

In Ed’s herd.

Though Mike yet again only seems to be obsessed that it’s Vicky’s part of the herd. He’s not quite seeing the bigger picture.

Like Ed’s business going under. Maybe for good this time.

Darrell’s gone walkabout again

Mike’s having to see the impact of Darrell’s downward spiral on his family. Rosa works with him bottling, and has been very (very) down recently.

[Mike] “It’s hard someone you used to have a pint with sinking so low.”

Anyhoo, Darrell’s not come home again.

Not that Alistair is particularly phased by that. He reckons Darrell won’t keep himself “on track”, so would actually prefer it if Darrell didn’t come back at all.

I can’t say I blame him …

Shula let Alistair do the shopping!

Though she did send him out to the village shop with a list.

Shame that Sabrina had re-arranged the shop, which confused matters further.

Jim gets Joe excited: Tues 15.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 15:26:00 +0100

Pondering the Archers Tuesday 15th October 2013

In a spare hour, Alistair paints the cricket pavilion
Hey Jude, on repeat …
Did Darrell go to the doctor?
The Community Orchard tempts out Joe
More trouble with Ed’s cows
Neil’s ruined it for everyone
Brenda’s still making coffee!

In a spare hour, Alistair paints the cricket pavilion

As you do.

And he’s roped Jim in to help.

Of course, Jim wants to do it to exacting standards. And is finding fault with the brushes. Though Alistair reckons a bad workman blames his tools:

[Jim] “I defy you to find fault with my section of wall … For goodness sake Alistair, you’ve left a huge gap between the skirting board and the wall!”

Ah well.

What could Alistair have expected?

Hey Jude, on repeat …

Good god.

Darrell may be in a bad place, but there’s nae need to torture everyone else around him.

Did Darrell go to the doctor?

Though Alistair reckoned Darrell should get himself to the doctor, Shula insisted on taking him. She wanted to be sure he actually went.

Darrell still isn’t keen, so Shula tries to focus him on why he’s going. To try and make things better with Rosa.

[Shula] “The important thing is you’re trying to sort it out now.”

When Shula fetches him to go to the doctor, she finds him sitting and “mulling” over the questions the doctor will ask.

[Darrell] “I don’t want him to think I’m mad.”

The traffic made them run late, so Shula had to drop him off outside rather than take him in. She has a lesson booked. All looks well, though. Darrell seems chirpy, and is even going to finally collect his tools from his mate (who’s back from “up North”).

But, as Shula leaves, Darrell gets a call from someone he calls “love” …

Later on, though Alistair is enjoy he and Shula having the house to themselves, Shula’s preoccupied. She hasn’t heard from nor seen Darrell since she dropped him off.

[Shula] “Just feels like something is not right.”

[Alistair] “Can you try and out Darrell out of your mind for a few hours … you can’t control him, he’ll do as he does.”

True.

Odds on that Darrell never made it actually into the doctors …

The Community Orchard tempts out Joe

Jim’s worried about Joe.

[Jim] “He’s terribly low. A shadow of his former self.”

Joe didn’t want to chat with Jim. Or even watch the telly. Nor was he interested in talking about the apple identification stall he and Jim were planning for the Apple Festival.

[Jim] “It’s hard to see him in such poor shape though. The truth is, I don’t know what to do.”

Alistair suggests he get Joe out the house. Maybe down to the Apple Orchard, just for a wander. After it all, it was Joe and Jim’s project.

Jim suggests that to Joe, and it works! Jim played to Joe’s sense of pride – that he needed Joe’s expertise for apply day:

[Jim] “He’s the one of the only people in the village with a profound knowledge of the traditional varieties … I don’t to look a fool.”

Clarrie’s also going to pack them a picnic.

[Jim] “When I left, Joe was actually excited about it.”

Well done that Jim.

Hopefully this is the start of Joe’s recovery proper.

More trouble with Ed’s cows

Seems he lost another calf – this one, aborted before it could be born.

Ed’s worried the herd has an infection, but Mike cautions that they wait to hear from Alistair.

[Mike] “I’m as worried as you are, these are Vicky’s cows, remember.”

(aye, that they’re Vicky’s cows is all that’s important here!)

But, alas, Alistair can’t tell them anything until he gets the results of the tests back next week.

Oh dear.

More gloom for Ed?

Neil’s ruined it for everyone

So reckons Mike.

And all because Neil bought Susan that sold gold pendant. It’s set a precedent for all of the Ambridge husbands.

[Mike] “Reckon [Vicky’s] next significant birthday present is going to cost a packet.”

Brenda’s still making coffee!

Mike misses Brenda. For her babysitting prowess. How nice of him.

Anyhoo – seems Brenda has been applying for jobs, but isn’t getting anything in her ‘field’. So, she’s working in a coffee shop.

Ha!

Is making coffee for Londoners better than making coffee for Lilian and Matt?

I’m not too sure.

The Christmas show posters go up: Mon 14.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Mon, 14 Oct 2013 16:23:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Monday 14th October 2013

Jamie makes tea
Caroline’s unreasonable emailing
Kathy’s enjoying her work
Beer mats for wedding favours
The stag do plot thickens …
A new website and a tea dance
Why is Jolene upset about Rob’s father-in-law passing away?
It’s poppy time
It’s Christmas audition time
Emma doesn’t seem to be doing much on her cookbook
Joe’s still not up and at ‘em

Jamie makes tea

For Kathy.

What a reformed lad he is.

He also offers her more money while times are tight. As he quite rightly points out, he also lives in the house. So should contribute.

He later asks Kenton for bar work, which suits both Kenton and Jolene perfectly. They need more hands to cover while they’re on their honeymoon.

Atta lad Jamie.

You’ll be a fine man, after all.

Caroline’s unreasonable emailing

Seems Caroline thinks it’s okay to email her team on a Saturday night to ask them to come in first thing on Monday for a meeting.

Nae need, Caroline.

Staff have lives too.

Kathy’s enjoying her work

[Kathy] “Staff are lovely, Caroline and Oliver are a dream to work for, but it is only temporary.”

Though it is an ideal job close to home, it just doesn’t pay enough. So although Kathy may apply for it, she’s also keeping her options open by employing for other jobs – like the Catering Manager at a Gastro pub, and also a budget chain hotel.

[Jamie] “At least you don’t have to put up with Martyn anymore, now he’s free to terrorise someone else.”

Beer mats for wedding favours

[Jolene] “I hope we’re as happy as Susan and Neil are after 25 years of marriage.”

Aye, so do we all.

The wedding plans are coming together. Including the delivery of the first batch of wedding favours.

Beer mats.

[Kenton] “A wedding lasts a day, but a beer mat is for life.”

[Jolene] “We don’t look too bad, do we?”

Seems the beer mats feature a photo of Jolene and Kenton, with ‘Mr and Mrs’ over their faces.

And the other favour will be bags of sugared almonds.

[Kenton] “Ooh, very fancy!”

[Jolene] “Well you may knock, but it will look beautiful.”

The stag do plot thickens …

[Jolene] “As long as you show up for our wedding, they can do what they like with you.”

Kenton still hasn’t a clue what Jamie and Jazzer have in store for him on his stage do.

[Jamie] “You might need insurance … and protective clothing.”

[Kenton] “This is sounding weirder by the minute. Am I actually going to enjoy myself?”

[Jamie] “Depends what you mean by enjoy …”

Even Jazzer is managing to keep quiet, though is having fun winding up Kenton:

[Kenton] “That story about his friend who ended up with a tattoo across his face in Aberdeen had me up all night.”

A new website and a tea dance

Is what Kathy and Lynda reckon will bring the glory dates back to Grey Gables.

[Caroline] “I will not let one incident sully our good name!”

The team comes up with way to “boost the profile, locally and nationally”. Like one person free for party bookings of eight. “Relax and unwind” post-Christmas shopping. Pre-Christmas party pamperings. A new website. And a tea dance (which is seemingly their USP).

Well, at least Caroline is sounding more positive. Even though Kathy’s and Lynda’s ideas where hardly ground-breaking …

Later, Kathy also reckons she can persuade her golf club clients to book their Christmas parties at Grey Gables. Cheeky, but fair enough, considering.

[Caroline] “Goodness, it makes a difference. All this positive creative thinking.”

Why is Jolene upset about Rob’s father-in-law passing away?

She seemed quite subdued when Brian told her. Though she hardly knows Rob, and certainly didn’t meet his gather-in-law.

[Jolene] “Still, now I suppose at least his wife might be in a position to move to Ambridge.”

Oops.

Helen will not be pleased to her that sort of comment.

It’s poppy time

Lynda’s buying her and Robert’s from The Bull.

It’s Christmas audition time

Well, nearly.

Lynda’s putting up the posters.

Seems Jolene’s not the biggest fan of Robin Hood. When she used to play it as a kid, due to the lack of female characters, she always ended up as Friar Tuck.

But, of course, Lynda has redressed the gender imbalance.

[Jolene] “Maid Marion has her own cohort of merry women.”

Lynda’s also well underway with the script:

[Lynda] “Robert seems to think I should inject more menace into King John, but I’m hoping to avoid caricature … but he did however describe it as a page turner.”

Sounds riveting!

Emma doesn’t seem to be doing much on her cookbook

It all seems to be Lynda.

She was asking Jolene and Kenton, but they pointed her in Freda’s direction.

[Jolene] “If she gives you the secret to her hot pot, you’ll have a bestseller on your hands.”

If they do, it’ll purely be down to Lynda. Not Emma.

Joe’s still not up and at ‘em

Everyone’s still sad about that.

Susan gets pulled at her party: Sun 13.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 22:39:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Sunday 13th October 2013

Caroline’s tossing and turning
There’s too much milk in Joe’s tea
Tracey’s coming out, so they better get the party started
The hounds relax Caroline
Gregory competes for Susan’s attention

Caroline’s tossing and turning

She’s still worrying about what the Council is going to say. And whether Joe will accept or refuse her settlement.

Oliver tries to distract her with the Echo.

[Oliver] “There’s a section on Autumn Trends for the country woman.”

He wants her to try and be more positive, for her and everyone else’s sake.

(easier said than done)

There’s too much milk in Joe’s tea

Eddie’s made it again, rather than Clarrie.

Joe is not amused.

He’s also not amused that Jim is going to sit with him while Eddie’s at Susan’s 50th party.

[Joe] “I don’t need a babysitter … long as he don’t witter on.”

Eddie then asks Joe to sign something, to which Joe tells him to read it out first. Quite right too. It’s a letter rejecting Caroline’s offer.

[Joe] “You sure I’m doing the right thing?”

Eddie reckons so. If they can put a price on Joe’s suffering, it surely must be more.

I can see Eddie’s point.

But this is going to get worse for everyone before it gets better.

Tracey’s coming out, so they better get the party started
Susan’s already delighted with her birthday. She’s got super presents, including a pampering session at Grey Gables before she goes to her party.

But, seems Tracey is actually more excited about the party than Susan.

[Tracey] “You two ready to part then? … I’m young, free, single and I want to mingle!”

Yikes!

Best lock Ambridge’s men in for the night.

The hounds relax Caroline

Oliver manages to persuade Caroline out for a ride with the hounds. The first Meet is fairly soon, so they’re trying out the pups. Including s feisty wee chap called Minky.

[Oliver] “Little devil’s obviously an explorer … Minky is a bit of a rebel … he still doesn’t seem to be learning his manners.”

Caroline has enjoyed her day out. But her relaxed frame of mind doesn’t last long. She gets an email from Ian telling her that he’s had more restaurant cancellations.

[Caroline] “He’s upset … he thinks people are cancelling because of the negative publicity …”

That sets off Caroline again.

[Caroline] “From now on, I’m going to concentrate on things that are under my control. I’m going to get Grey Gables on its feet, no matter what it takes.”

Oh dear.

Caroline was so close to retiring …

Gregory competes for Susan’s attention
Susan’s having a grand old time at her party. She’s on the vodka and orange …

Tracey seems to have randomly invited anyone from Susan’s past. Including someone called Gregory who Susan doesn’t even recognise.

[Gregory] “We used to sit next to each other in CSE maths … Been a long time since we were agonising over mathematical equations.”

I suspect Tracey was more keen to invite Gregory for her sake, rather than Susan’s. Gregory’s done well for himself (he runs a call centre), and is single.

Neil sounds a tad jealous as Gregory sounds very delighted to see Susan again. He’s even brought her a rather flash bracelet as a present.

[Tracey] “Now that’s what I call bling on a string!”

He also invites Susan to a 70s night in Felpersham.

[Tracey] “I’m there!”

(um … Gregory invited Susan, actually)

Though Gregory takes Susan up dancing, Neil tries to persuade him to dance with Tracey instead.

[Gregory] “I always carried a bit of a torch for Susan in school. Not that she noticed. You’re a lucky man, Neil.”

[Neil, firmly] “Yes, I am.”

When Neil finally manages to get Susan alone, he gives her an extra special gift. A solid gol locket, that he reckons would be perfect for a photo of the grandkids.

[Susan] “I think you and me should go in here.”

Aw.

Neil won the girl again.

The Council Officer Cometh: Fri 11.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Fri, 11 Oct 2013 21:46:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Friday 11th October 2013

All fear the Council officer …
Lynda’s distracting
Sad scenes at the Grundys’

All fear the Council officer …

Today’s the day the Council chap is in questioning everyone again at Grey Gables.

Caroline’s in a flap. Oliver’s keeping calm. David’s arrived to give evidence. Though he isn’t sure how he can be of any help.

[David] “Not unless the local authority is interested in the ear tagging of calves and the fluctuating price of milk …”

Actually, Oliver isn’t flapping because he firmly believes Grey Gables wasn’t to blame for Joe’s fall. Though he’s moved on from blaming Joe:

[Oliver] “If anyone’s to blame in this situation, it’s the carpet fitters.”

Really? Clasping at straws there, methinks.

Anyhoo – the Council Officer chap is called Mr Hughes. Still no clue of which department Mr Hughes is from, bit whichever one it is, they obviously don’t value good timekeeping.

Mr Hughes is late.

[Lynda] “He’s fallen victim to a malfunctioning sat nav.”

After he’s been and gone, Caroline actually feels a bit better. She reckons he seems like a reasonable Council chap (really? Do they actually exist??).

[Oliver] “They must know we’re not charlatans. Our track is impeccable, that must count for something.”

Caroline concurs. And also agrees to the Madame Butterfly DVD and a Thai takeaway.

That’s progress.

But, it’s not all good. Caroline’s still worried that she has heard back from Joe about her settlement offer.

Lynda’s distracting
During the high tension while waiting for Mr Hughes’ arrival, Lynda’s wittering about how she’s helping Emma do the organ fund recipe book. She asks Caroline for a recipe, and starts telling her every detail of the book …

[Caroline, exasperated] “Excuse me Lynda, why are you telling me all this? … Why would I be thinking about recipe books when the future of the business is on the line?”

[Lynda] “I’m so sorry Caroline, I was just trying to take the edge off of it.”

And Lynda’s also feeling nervous about being interviewed.

As she should.

The accident happened on her watch …

Robert was doing his best to keep Lynda’s spirits up. He texted a picture of their garden to help “bolster” her spirits.

[Lynda] “The delphinine have had a second wind …”

Ah well, whatever gets her through it, I suppose.

Sad scenes at the Grundys’

It was horrible eavesdropping in on Eddie helping Joe put his shirt on.

Joe was in a lot of pain, and sounded incredibly old and worried.

Eddie even had to do Joe’s buttons up for him, while persuading him that he really did need to go to be interviewed by the Council chap.

[Joe] “I want to be back home, in me chair.”

[Eddie] “We’re going to get through this. You heard what the doctor, you’ll improve as time goes on.”

Eddie’s trying again to convince them both.

[Eddie] “Come on dad. I won’t let you fall.”

(Oh, that was heartbreakingly sad)

Later on, Eddie’s in charge of taking his and Joe’s lunch out of the slow cooker. Joe isn’t convinced he’ll cope.

[Joe] “Everything looks higgledy piggledy.”

And too hot. He burnt his mouth.

[Joe] “I’m used to it served up just right … And I don’t like swede. Who likes swede?”

And there’s too much broccoli.

And the bread’s not buttered properly. Eddie missed a corner.

[Eddie, losing his temper] “You eat that food now!”

Oops.

Eddie immediately apologises.

[Joe, sad and resigned] “That don’t matter …”

[Eddie] “I hate this … everything you’re going through. It’s not right. … This isn’t your life. It’s not you.”

[Joe] “You’re not wrong son.”

So, Eddie’s back on about blaming Grey Gables. And how they should ask for more, considering the pain Joe’s in and:

[Eddie] “Not to mention what it’s doing to the rest of us seeing you like this.”

Caroline’s not got a hope of being able to settle soon or early.

Debbie’s having “unadulterated fun”: Thurs 10.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Thu, 10 Oct 2013 21:01:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Thursday 10th October 2013

Is Henry ‘special’?
Pat’s snooping on Tom (and Kirsty)
Brian and Debbie being intolerably smug
Brian’s getting increasing archaic
Helen still doesn’t get it (part 457)
A hairdo triumph???
Everyone agrees Tom and Kirsty are perfecto
Jamie’s a good lad
Debbie’s got a Zoltan

Is Henry ‘special’?
Seems he’s taken to tidying up anything he comes across. Which is making life interesting for Helen then trying to find it all again.

[Helen] “You don’t my son has OCD, do you?”

[Pat] “Don’t be ridiculous!”

Well, one wouldn’t be entirely surprised. He is Helen’s son, after all.

Pat’s snooping on Tom (and Kirsty)

Pat claims she only called round at Tom’s early this morning because:

[Pat] “I needed to check who was harvesting the carrots today …”

Aye, right then!

Course, she was there to see if Kirsty was there. Which she was.

[Pat] “I’m just so thrilled to see him happy again.”

[Helen] “It’s sweet. I’m so happy for them.”

[Pat] “I suppose it can’t be easy for you being surrounded by couples.”

[Helen] “I’m fine mum. Very happy, in fact.”

Well … that’s just not true … is it, Helen?

Brian and Debbie being intolerably smug

[Brian] “Beautiful sight, isn’t it Debbie, to see the units filling up.”

[Debbie] “Berrow Farm has arrived!”

They both fell all the stress and arguments were worth it. And Brian gives Debbie full credit for it all coming together so smoothly.

Of course, Rob isn’t around (he’s still with his WIFE). But seems they’re coping just grand without him. Despite some dodgy techniques from the rest of their staff:

[Debbie] “I do need to talk to that chap about his fluster technique.”

[Brian] “I see what you mean. He needs to calm down … Less is more when you’re going for high yield.”

(what’s a fluster technique? Answers on a postcard …)

Brian’s getting increasing archaic

On Rob – though they cope without him, Debbie still thinks he’s been a real find.

[Brian] “I agree. But I thought he had more mettle. One phone call from his wife, and he disappears like a rabbit up a burrow.”

Though Debbie reminds Brian that Rob’s wife’s dad is seriously ill, Brian has suddenly gone all cave man.

[Brian] “There’s still a job to do here. I don’t know what’s happening to men. Do you know Will’s on paternity leave? Paternity leave! For heaven’s sake!!!”

What’s come over Brian?

He’s always been a man’s man, but this is anti-man.

Helen still doesn’t get it (part 457)

Helene’s still stalking Rob, despite him being with his family (probably leading up to a death in the family).

She’s leaving him messages, letting him know that she’s thinking of him, and hope’s all okay.

One suspects she’s wishes Jess’ dad dies soon so that Rob will return …

A hairdo triumph???

[Debbie] “Fallon and Jolene have had a hairdo triumph for the wedding.”

Eh?

What’s that then?

Debbie doesn’t expand any further, so another Ambridge moment that’ll never really get explained.

Everyone agrees Tom and Kirsty are perfecto

[Kathy] “They were always great together, I remember.”

[Pat] “I haven’t seen Tom this relaxed for months.”

Yup, all nice and lovely.

I can’t help feeling that Kirsty’s got the raw end of the deal, though.

I mean, Tom Archer is hardly a catch …

Jamie’s a good lad

Kathy’s enjoying her new job, and fast forgetting the pains of the Golf Club.

And, Jamie’s being extra “supportive”.

[Pat] “It’s a nice feeling when your children step up to the plate.”

(And how. Remember Jamie just a year or so ago?)

[Kathy] “[This] is actually my new old job.”

[Pat] “To the old and the new!”

Debbie’s got a Zoltan

Seems Debbie has a new man in her life.

A chap called Zoltan, who’s a mechanic and “operates machinery”.

[Helen] “So, he drives the combine?”

(what a snob!)

Debbie’s being a bit naughty, seeing Zoltan. She met him when she interviewed him for a job. But:

[Debbie] “We’re not harming anyone.”

[Helen] “So you’re mixing business with pleasure?”

[Debbie] “We’re young, free and single. Well, he’s young …”

Wahey! Debbie’s bagged a 30 year old. On yersel, doll.

[Debbie] “It’s a real tonic to have some unadulterated fun for a change … And a secret, more exciting … you know.”

Yup, Helen knows that all too well. Though her secret is far from unadulterated. Even Debbie’s spotted that Helen is up to something:

[Debbie] “I distinctly got the impression that there might be someone special.”

Helen claims it’s Jonno, but she’s rubbish at being subtle. When Debbie gets a text from Rob saying that he’ll have to stay for a few more days, Helen is far too interested. But Debbie’s oblivious.

She starts going on about how wonderful Rob is. That he’s “one of the good guys”. And how important Jess is to him.

Oops.

If only Debbie knew … she probably wouldn’t flutter an eyelid.

Darrell needs work, not a therapist – Wed 09.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Wed, 9 Oct 2013 21:21:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Wednesday 9th October 2013

What’s Darrell doing at night?
Alistair’s got a pig farm with pneumonia
Why was the cow so brave?
Even Ruth’s given in to the Super Dairy
An awkward moment for David
Darrell doesn’t even know what is the month
The cows are nearly ready to go in
The Brookfield kitchen is clean!!!
Why would Ruth have a recipe?
Vicky’s calf was culled
What’s wrong with the stag do?
Caroline ponders life over some chocolate

What’s Darrell doing at night?

Seems he’s up and down and up and down … keeping both Shula and Alistair awake.

What’s he doing?

Making tea.

[Alistair] “So it was caffeine overload, makes sense.”

[Shula] “It’s almost as if he made a cup, forgot about it, and made another one.”

Seems Darrell was also just as distracted during a football match he was meant to be watching with Alistair. Which would previously have been unthinkable.

(really? I don’t recall Darrell having mentioned a passion for football before)

[Alistair] “He was fidgeting endlessly, stopping and starting conversations … hopefully he’ll have tired himself out tonight and get some sleep … I feel sorry for the guy, he’s lost everything.”

[Shula] “He’s much more fragile mentally then I’d anticipated … He takes offense at anything I say about his emotional state.”

[Alistair] “If we say nothing, we’re almost colluding with him, pretending everything alright.”

So, Shula has the awful task of having to suggest to Darrell that he seeks professional help.

[Shula] “Alistair and I have noticed you’re finding it hard to relax. You seem very anxious.”

Darrell rambles on for a bit. About how he’s in a new place. Finding his feet, his way around, and the like.

[Darrell] “Do you want me to go?”

[Shula] “We don’t want you to leave. But we are very concerned about you … Alistair and I were wondering if you’d consider seeking professional help … counselling maybe.”

[Darrell] “Do you think I’m nuts? Some madman that wants locking up? … Just cause I’m down on my luck, doesn’t mean I’ve lost my marbles. All I need is a job.”

Darrell then rambles again. He decides he’s been good on those TV renovation programmes.

[Darrell] “I’m good at renovations.”

(told you)

Then, he gets paranoid again.

[Darrell] “Maybe I should move on right now. Get out of your way.”

Shula asks him where he would go, and what he would do?

He doesn’t know.

She offers to help him look for jobs online.

[Shula] “If you do that, you can prove you’re looking for work.”

(ah, poor Darrell must be on Jobseekers with a set number of targets to prove he’s looking for work, every week)

That seems to calm him. It’s something he can do tomorrow. (always tomorrow)

But, he thinks even seeing his GP would be a complete waste of everyone’s energy.

[Shula] “We all need help from time to time.”

[Darrell] “Not like this. I’m a grown man.”

Shula argues that he’s paid his taxes all of his working life, and he’s fully entitled now to get the support he needs. And if it does work, it’d help him try and rebuild his relationship with Rosa. He’d been calmer.

[Darrell] “I don’t want to be put on no tablets.”

[Shula] “Seeing your GP is just about talking to someone who understands what you’ve going through. You’ve nothing to lose apart from your pride.”

[Darrell] “What if that’s all I’ve got left?”

[Shula] “From where I’m standing, your pride is what’s destroying you.”

[Darrell, coming round to the idea] “I suppose, no one has to know, do they?”

Ah – well done Shula!

It’s worth a punt …

Alistair’s got a pig farm with pneumonia

And a Labrador who needs an exploratory laparotomy.

[Alistair] “Swallowed some plastic packaging, apparently.”

No wonder he needs to get more sleep.

Why was the cow so brave?

It must have been incredibly so. Even David remarked on it.

We’ll never know …

Even Ruth’s given in to the Super Dairy

Seems Debbie is over to review the progress of the super dairy, which should be fully stocked by Christmas.

[Ruth] “I can’t believe how quickly it’s happened.”

[Darrell] “Well, Berrow Farm is part of the landscape now.”

So, that’s that?

Brian’s completely and utterly won?

An awkward moment for David

Caroline was at Brookfield, checking that David was still okay to talk to that Council department (whoever they may be) about Joe’s fall.

[Caroline] “I’m sorry you’re being inconvenienced.”

[David] “Not at all. These things happen.”

Once Caroline leaves:

[Ruth] “That sounded rather awkward.”

[David] “Inevitably.”

Quite.

Darrell doesn’t even know what month it is

[Darrell] “Who plans Christmas dinner in September?”

[Shula, trying to be patient] “It’s October.”

[Darrell] “The clocks haven’t even gone back yet.”

Um.

That’d be funny, if it wasn’t so desperately sad.

The cows are nearly ready to go in
At Brookfield.

Seems there’s only a few weeks of grazing left.

Course, the cows at the Super Dairy are in already. Forever more. But no one seems to care anymore.

The Brookfield kitchen is clean!!!

David’s in awe.

[David] “This kitchen is look positively pristine.”

[Ruth] “That was Emma. She got a bit carried away with a scourer. And it might be a hint … to use the oven.”

Ha!

No chance of that.

Microwave pizza, anyone?

Why would Ruth have a recipe?

Emma seems to think she would.

[David] “That doesn’t really sound like your sort of thing.”

[Ruth] “It’s not. And it’s yet another item to add to my ever expanding to do list.”

Though they reckon Jill would be delighted to give a recipe to Emma for her charity recipe book. And Ruth supposes she could give Emma one for Victoria Sandwich.

[David] “Um, cakes aren’t exactly your forte, Ruth …”

He suggests he gives her one of his sauce formulas to pass off as her own.

Which seems sensible enough. We don’t want the whole village to have food poisoning follow a recipe that Ruth hadn’t the first clue how to put together.

Vicky’s calf was culled

Well, it had to be put out of its own misery.

[David] “Hopefully Vicky will refrain from asking Alan for a memorial service!”

What’s wrong with the stag do?

Seems Jazzer has called an emergency meeting about it. Even David has to attend.

[Ruth] “Be afraid. Be very afraid.”

Quite.

Caroline ponders life over some chocolate

On a rare break, Caroline’s buying some chocolate. She’s also in a thoughtful mood.

[Caroline] “Is it worth it?”

Course, she’s on about the hotel. Not about whether her very existence is worth it.

She’s starting to see Oliver’s point that the hotel is endlessly demanding. Gives her little time to do anything else. And creates a HUGE amount of stress on her.

[Shula] “I didn’t expect to hear that from you Caroline, you’re usually so robust.”

[Caroline] “I’m not sure my heart’s really in the business at the moment.”

Simple.

Hire Kathy as General Manager. Retire, while she runs the business and earns a tidy profit.

Joe goes to the pub: Tues 08.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Tue, 8 Oct 2013 20:15:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Tuesday 8th October 2013

What does £1,500 mean when you can’t eat sausages?
Shires to the rescue
Kathy’s gainfully employed
When Joe met Poppy
Emma lies about a card
Will no one think of Emma’s cookery book?
Kenton looks forward to his stag do

What does £1,500 mean when you can’t eat sausages?

[Clarrie] “You’ve hardly touched your sausages.”

Joe’s still not eating properly.

[Clarrie] “I know it’s not easy. You’re doing very well.”

[Joe] “I can’t seem to get comfortable.”

Would Caroline’s solicitor’s letter offering him £1,500 make Joe feel more comfortable?

[Joe] “That sounds alright.”

Eddie’s not so sure. He reckons they shouldn’t say yes straight away.

[Eddie] “I don’t reckon you’re in a well enough state to make such an important decision.”

In Eddie’s humble (!) opinion, Joe has a watertight case against Grey Gables. So, he can afford to negotiate. Joe does not concur – he’s worried that he won’t get anything if he says no to this first offer.

[Eddie] “There’s no way you’ll lose, no way.”

Hmmm.

He might.

And if he does get more, at what cost to their friends and neighbours?

Methinks it’s Eddie that’s not in the right state to be making this type of decision.

[Eddie] “I reckon dad should get more.”

[Clarrie] “I think it’s up to Joe.”

Quite.

Shires to the rescue

So, Eddie reckons Joe isn’t fit to make a decision about Caroline’s offer. But, he is fit enough to be forced to go to The Bull.

[Eddie] “If you can drink a cup of tea, you can manage a pint of Shires.”

(eh???)

Anyhoo – Eddie does manage to persuade Joe along to The Bull. Oliver also happens to be there.

[Oliver] “How are you feeling?”

[Eddie, fuming] “How do you think he’s feeling? He’s enjoying the company of his friends.”

[Oliver, rather taken aback] “Sorry to disturb you …”

When Oliver leaves them be:

[Joe] “He’s our Edward’s landlord!”

That’s done it for Joe. He wants to go home, but Eddie won’t let him. One suspects Eddie is trying to convince himself that if Joe’s in the pub, all must be well.

Others can see it isn’t:

[Kenton, to Oliver] “Shocking isn’t it, Joe looking so frail.”

[Oliver] “I seemed to have caused offense just by going over there.”

Kenton reckons Eddie was bound to have a pop. Oliver just hopes he hasn’t made matters worse.

Eddie finally realises that Joe is beyond exhausted, so they finally go home.

[Eddie to Clarrie] “He just sat there, watching the world go by, like he wasn’t part of it anymore.”

[Clarrie] “He will be again. Once he’s stronger. “

[Eddie] “What if he …”

Oh dear.

Eddie obviously thinks the worst.

[Clarrie] “We’re not helping him if we keep worrying about the future.”

She reckons that if they stay positive, Joe will begin to feel positive as well.

Hmmm …

Kathy’s gainfully employed

Caroline starts by offering the Health Club manager’s job to Kathy. Temporarily.

Then, oddly, starts to interview her, asking what her job was at the Golf Club, and what happened to make her leave. Course, that opens the floodgate for Kathy talking about Martyn.

[Kathy] “He did make some good points … but he was never satisfied.”

Oops.

Never burns one’s bridges, Kathy. It’s just not the done thing to be negative in an interview about your last job.

[Kathy] “I’m afraid he’s not likely to give me a particularly glowing reference.”

BUT, lucky for Kathy, Caroline knows of Martyn, and what he can be like. She reckons Kathy did a marvellous job, and her leaving will be a sore loss for the Golf Club.

She also explains to Kathy that the job is a lower level, and a lower salary, than her previous one. But Kathy isn’t bothered. She sees it as the perfect stop gap.

So, Kathy starts this very afternoon.

[Caroline] “Welcome back Kathy!”

Later on, Kathy’s already making changes for the better. She’s increasing time between appointments to ensure they avoid backlogs.

[Kathy] “I’m really looking forward to getting stuck in again!”

Caroline and Oliver are deeply relieved.

[Oliver] “We couldn’t have asked for a safer pair of hands.”

[Caroline] “It’s a huge relief she said yes.”

Indeed.

No more overflowing towel bins!

When Joe met Poppy

[Joe] “Welcome to the world Poppy Grundy … Listen to me little one, we got lots to do, you and me. I’m going to teach you how to make cider.”

Joe also wants to take Poppy to meet Bartleby. And eat ice cream with her on the village green.

How gorgeously sweet.

And good to hear Joe perk up a bit.

Emma lies about a card

As Joe meets Poppy, Emma also turns up to see him (the first time since his accident?).

She’s straight away jealous about Poppy, and Joe taking such pleasure in meeting her.

Silly Emma.

She gives Joe a card which (she claims) Keira made for him. All by herself.

[Emma] “Keira’s always been very advanced.”

[Nic, unimpressed] “Right.”

When Kenton is also later round (with a fruit basket from the regulars), George happens to slip to him 9and everyone else within earshot) that Emma helped Keira to make the card.

Oops.

[Emma] “She’s too little to use scissors on her own …”

[Nic, smug] “I see!”

Serves Emma right.

Being jealous of a baby … what rot!

Will no one think of Emma’s cookery book?

Emma’s crowing about she’s going to press on with her cookery book, in aid of the organ fund. Nic’s now not got enough time to work on her idea of a calendar.

Emma asks Clarrie if she’ll help. Though she means more than just by donating a recipe – she needs help with printing, and the like.

[Emma] “There’s more to do than I thought.”

[Clarrie] “I’d help if I could Emma, but I’ve got far too much with Joe.”

Clarrie reckons she needs to ask Jennifer or Lynda.

Ha!

Emma wouldn’t dare, nor cope with working with either of those two.

Still, needs must.

Kenton looks forward to his stag do

[Kenton] “I just hope someone stays sober enough to stop Jazzer smuggling me onto a ferry, stripping me naked and chaining me to a lamppost in Calais.”

Oh Kenton.

You’re in trouble …

Kathy gets a job – Mon 07.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Mon, 7 Oct 2013 18:51:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Monday 7th October 2013

Rob was lying in wait for Helen
Helen and Rob agree to differ
Rob’s no match for Debbie
Helen’s all that matters, until the phone rings
Pedicures and Seaweed wraps
Caroline tries to buy off Joe
No Health Club Manager + Jobless Kathy = ???
Kirsty and Tom … ugh
ROB HAS A WIFE

Rob was lying in wait for Helen
That’s a bit sinister …

He’s actually getting quite bold, even giving Helen a kiss at the public side of his front door.

[Rob] “Don’t worry, the doorstep is safe. I’ve check. With binoculars.”

Very sinister …

Helen and Rob agree to differ

In between snogging, Ron and Helen actually manage to have a conversation. Seems now the Super Dairy is getting to near full pelt:

[Helen] “Brian’s been boring everyone with the details.”

Though Helen shares a snigger at Pat being furious when she got stuck on the bypass behind a lorry load of cows destined for the Super Dairy, she manages to regain her sense of loyalty:

[Helen] “Hey. Not everyone agrees with the ethos of Berrow farm.”

[Rob] “I thought we agreed to live and let live.”

Ah.

So, Rob’s allowed to talk about his work. Show Helen round his work. But, Helen’s not allowed an opinion about his work.

Classy chap.

Stupid Helen …

Rob’s no match for Debbie

[Rob] “Debbie’s been driving me mad.”

[Helen] “Good, I expect nothing less.”

Seems Debbie is on one of her infamous (and very quick) flying visits. Rob reckons it’s put him off his routine and stride. She even wants to see paperwork …

[Rob] “The point is, I don’t need another woman on my back.”

[Helen] “Watch what you say Mr Titchener!”

Well, it’s true enough.

A female (kind of) boss. A mistress. And a wife. AND all those lady cows.

Still, all of Rob’s own fault.

Helen’s all that matters, until the phone rings

[Helen] “I’ve been thinking of this moment all day.”

And, they’re off snogging again.

[Helen] “Being so near you and not being able to touch you. I love being with you … nothing else matters.”

[Rob] “And I don’t want it to …”

Not so true from Rob.

The phone rings, so he heads off to answer it.

Next we hear, Rob is packing and keen to get away. His WIFE’s dad, Dennis, is very unwell indeed. Almost at death’s door. Which is a bit of a shock for Rob.

[Rob] “He’s like a creaking gate, I thought he’d be around for ever.”

His WIFE Jess was nearly crying down the phone.

[Rob] “I need to be there for the whole family’s sake.”

Helen says she understands, and leaves him alone to pack.

Well, what does she expect?

Rob is married to Jess.

Pedicures and Seaweed wraps

Caroline’s all aflutter.

Seems someone has booked a pedicure in at 6.15, but someone else is due in for a seaweed wrap at 6.10. Oops. Double booking.

[Lynda] “You’ve got your fingers in far too many pies at the moment.”

(ahem … too much information!)

Lynda offers to try and lighten Caroline’s load by helping to recruit the new Health Club manager.

Caroline reckons she has it all in hand.

I wonder … is Lynda trying to demonstrate that she’d be perfect for far more responsibility than she currently has? Maybe, the whole hotel???

Or, is Lynda just in ‘nice Lynda’ mode?

Caroline tries to buy off Joe

Seems Joe will be getting a letter shortly from Caroline’s solicitor, offering a sum but not liability.

Course, Caroline knows that “no amount of money will compensate”

[Caroline] “It’s a gesture to hopefully resolve the situation.”

Well, I doubt Eddie will see it that way. Unless they’re offering a hefty sum, he’s likely to just fling it back at ‘em.

No Health Club Manager + Jobless Kathy = ???

Kathy’s in at Grey Gables for yet another swim:

[Lynda] “I suppose now you've got some time on your hands, you might as well take advantage.”

Kathy confides that she also needs to use it while she has it. She’ll shortly have to give up her membership, what with (a lack of) money being a bit of an issue nowadays.

Later on, Lynda’s down in the Health Club making her hourly check when Kathy suggests that housekeeping makes those checks instead. She reckons that way, Lynda could get on with her job proper.

Aha! Lynda’s very impressed.

Lynda is later working on late to help Caroline sort out a few issues:

[Lynda] “ … some confusion between a bikini wax and an express facial …”

She has had a brainwave. A solution for all of their health Club woes.

[Lynda] “Been staring us in the face for days … Kathy Perks!”

(at last! We’ve all been thinking that for weeks)

Caroline concurs that it’s a great idea. Though just temporarily, mind, while they recruit a permanent Health Club manager.

[Caroline] “That’s a good idea. It’s a bit of a step down for her.”

True.

But those can’t afford to keep up with their health club membership can’t be choosers …

(Middle Class problems)

Kirsty and Tom … ugh

Kirsty’s being very smug about herself and Tom realising their love for each other.

[Kirsty] “I still can’t believe it happened … it feels like coming home, Helen.”

Seems Tom is actually being very romantic and thoughtful. He even made her a mixed tape (or was it a CD? Playlist??), and brought her breakfast in bed. With flowers!

[Helen] “You might as well enjoy the honeymoon period.”

Indeed.

Tom will soon be back to his insufferable and rather dull self soon enough.

ROB HAS A WIFE

In complete contrast to Kirsty’s rather more traditional and easy romance (for the moment), Helen’s not having an easy time of it.

[Helen] “It’s a horrible thing, being the other woman. I’ve accepted that it’s the only way we can be together at the moment, but …”

She’s still upset that Rob didn’t hesitate when HIS WIFE called him to her side, during her father’s illness.

[Helen] “I don’t mean to sound callous, I feel awful for Rob and the family, of course I understand but I mean, he should be there, I just can’t believe that Rob and Jess have the same bond that he and I do.”

Well, that does sound callous.

And very, very naive.

[Kirsty] “They must have had at some point.”

[Helen] “Maybe they were close in the past but people change.”

[Kirsty] “Helen, you knew the score when you got involved with him.”

[Helen] “I know. It’s not that simple.”

[Kirsty] “Isn’t it? Rob hasn’t told his wife about you, has he? So what do you expect, he’s a married man, he’s bound to put her first.”

Quite right Kirsty.

Helen’s an utter, utter fool.

Darrell fixes a lock – Sun 06.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Sun, 6 Oct 2013 12:23:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Sunday 6th October 2013

The Church is still busier than usual
Shula’s already exasperated with Darrell
Emma’s stunned at Nic’s ingratitude
The word is out about Tom and Kirsty
One calf is already for the chop
Joe’s missed at The Bull
Emma’s against paternity leave
Emma’s against Poppy meeting Joe

The Church is still busier than usual

Seems that’s always the case after the harvest ‘special’.

[Alan] “Must be something about giving that make people feel good.”

The trick, Alan, is try to have something every week that will make people feel good. Then the Church would be rammed every week.

Shula’s already exasperated with Darrell

At Church, Shula tells Alan that she has Darrell staying with her.

[Alan] “Are you sure that’s a good idea? With him being so aggressive to you.”

[Shula] “He’s someone we know, and he’s in a bad way.”

Shula now reckons Alistair agrees that Darrell is desperate and needs help. And she’s managed to convince herself that Darrell will only be staying a few nights. Her theory is that if Darrell is in better “physical shape”, he’ll be able to sort himself out.

Darrell seems to be settling in well. He even has enough confidence to compliment Shula on her tatties.

[Darrell] “Elona’s used to go soft on the outside which isn’t what you want, really.”

Darrell offers to help with lunch, but Shula tells him to sit down and start looking through the newspapers (one assumes for a place to live). He slightly sidesteps the rather unsubtle hint.

[Darrell] “You’re good people. Really good … I’m not one to overstay me welcome.”

He’s also trying to be useful, offering to help round the stables. Shula mentions that there is a lock on one of the door that needs looking at, which Darrell gets very excited about. Quite overexcited,

Shula sounds frustrated.

Emma’s stunned at Nic’s ingratitude

As Vicky’s been making a memory box for Bethany, she’s also be putting aside clothes to hand over to Nic. Though Nic’s polite to Vicky, she confides to Emma that they’re not really her “thing”.

[Nic] “Everything’s so pink.”

[Emma] “She is a baby girl!”

(eh? Girls can wear all colours these days, Emma)

[Nic] “You have to admit, Vicky’s taste is a bit garish.”

[Emma] “Do you realise how lucky you are to be given so much free stuff?! …When I had George, me and Ed was living in a caravan. We had nothing. It’s not even as if you and Will are short of money … If you hate the clothes that much, the least you can do is pass them onto someone else who needs them.”

True.

But let’s face it, Emma will find any chance to shout at Nic.

The word is out about Tom and Kirsty

[Vicky] “Apparently her and Tom are an item …Glad to know he’s moved on with his life, like our Brenda has.”

One calf is already for the chop

A calf of Ed and Mike’s isn’t suckling, and doesn’t seem to be very strong.

They don’t want to pay vet fees when they reckon there’s nothing that can be done. So …

Seems Vicky will be gutted. It’s one of hers.

She surely must have hardened to the reality of farming by now?

Joe’s missed at The Bull

He’s still not feeling well.

[Mike] “If anyone can bounce back, it’s him. Takes time, that’s all.”

Hmmm …

Emma’s against paternity leave

After the clothes (one sided) argument, Emma’s still moaning about Nic.

She reckons it’s not fair that Nic has her mum there to do the cleaning and washing (not that we ever hear from Nic’s mum … she must be kept busy), and it’s also not fair that Will got paternity leave. Course, Ed wasn’t able to take time off.

[Emma] “I don’t see why self-employed people don’t get paternity leave. It’s not fair.”

Um, so Ed can’t have it, it means it’s Will’s fault for being able to have it?

Odd reasoning there, Emma.

Emma’s against Poppy meeting Joe

Still on a rant, Emma moves onto Nic taking Poppy to meet Joe for the first time.

[Emma] “Her going round it not likely to help his wrist!”

[Ed] “It might lift his spirits though.”

Quite right.

Kirsty and Tom love each other – Fri 04.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Fri, 4 Oct 2013 21:26:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Friday 4th October 2013

Shula’s sounding more and more like Kathy
That local authority department is back
Bling wars
Brenda’s not coming back?
There still might not be a Panto
Shock appearance of Jazzer in Jaxx
Helen and Rob’s assignation
Jazzer is no Oliver Mellors
Tom and Kirsty, back together
Darrell moves in with Shula

Shula’s sounding more and more like Kathy

Seriously.

I can barely tell the difference anymore.

That local authority department is back

At Grey Gables.

They want to investigate even further, including talking to everyone (and anyone) there on that fateful night.

And to talk to Caroline about their Health and Safety procedures.

Ouch.

Bling wars

[Fallon] “She’s not used to being upstaged in the bling department.”

Seems Brenda’s pendant is a thing of wonder. It’s nearly overshadowing Jolene’s engagement ring.

[Kirsty] “If I’d been Brenda, I’d have hung on to the lovely Dmitry at least til I got the matching bracelet and earrings … Why don’t I have adventures like that?”

[Fallon] “There’s not many Russian Oligarchs to be found it Borchester.”

Well, that’s true enough.

Brenda’s not coming back?

Fallon and Kirsty seem to think she's settled elsewhere forever.

They also mull over how Tom must feel about Brenda’s new (now ex) man.

[Fallon] “It’s a bit of a slap in the face if your ex immediately finds someone fantastic then goes ‘no, I can still do better’ …”

Kirsty can’t shed any light on what Tom is thinking. She’s not seen him in a while. Not since she spied him with Brenda …

There still might not be a Panto

Caroline has heard the Christmas show meeting got a tad “heated”.

Seems Jim, Christine and even Robert sided with Kenton and Jill against Lynda’s idea of Jane Austen readings.

What was Robert thinking?

[Caroline] “He’ll be sleeping on the sofa for the next few nights.”

The committee chose Robin Hood and his Merry Men for the show and kept Lynda in directorial charge, but didn’t decide entirely whether it should be staged as Panto or play.

Some folks are already grumbling that Robin Hood was already staged at Christmas in 1999. Debbie was Robin. Simon Gerrard was the Sheriff.

But it’ll be done with a bit of a twist. Lynda has decreed that there will be “merry women as well”.

[Shula] “Wilomena Scarlett!”

Should be interesting …

Shock appearance of Jazzer in Jaxx

Kirsty was surprised to see Jazzer walk into Jaxx.

[Jazzer] “Don’t say it like that … like I’m lowering the tone.”

And he was invited. It’s Alice’s birthday party – so most of the Ambridge young ‘uns have left the warm familiarity of The Bull for the hedonism of Jaxx.

Thought it must be said that Jazzer isn’t impressed by Jaxx. He disapproves of them serving margaritas:

[Jazzer] “Waste of good rum if you ask me … I’ll have a bottle of your grossly overpriced larger.”

Helen and Rob’s assignation
At Alice’s birthday party didn’t come to anything.

Rob was noticed. But Tom only mentioned that Helen might be along later.

I’m grateful.

That snogging sound is getting evermore cringe worthy.

Jazzer is no Oliver Mellors

[Jazzer] “Why is it all the nice girls are spoken for?”

Classy comment, mate, considering it was said to solo lass Kirsty.

Jazzer then spots a likely lass:

[Kirsty] “India Beesborough … a bit out of your league Jazzer!”

[Jazzer] “You saying I cannae pull a posh bird?”

[Kirsty] “You’re welcome to try.”

(well, if Brian managed to pull India’s mum …)

Later on, while Tom is trying to have a word with Kirsty, Jazzer seems to have struck put with India. He reckons she just couldn’t hear him above the music.

[Jazzer] “Like talking to my granny when her hearing aid is on the blink.”

But, he also reckons India was unreasonably unresponsive.

[Jazzer] “I’ve met a few stuck up cows in my time, but that yin … I remember when posh young women fancied a bit of rough, like Lady Chatterley’s Lover.”

When Tom tries to intervene to get Kirsty on her own:

[Jazzer] “We’re having a literary discussion.”

(he’s never read it)

[Jazzer] “I’ve decided Kirsty’s the only girl from me … you must have Scottish blood in you wae a name like that!”

(what a cheek … she didn’t even register with him as a lass earlier on)

Tom tries to make Jazzer take the hint.

[Jazzer] “Kirsty, my love, don’t leave me!”

[Fallon] “Just how much have you had to drink Jazzer?”

Tom and Kirsty, back together

[Tom] “Have you been avoiding me Kirsty?”

Kirsty reckons not. She’s just had a busy week of it.

When Tom finally manages to get Kirsty away from Jazzer (she was actually trying to work, while the two of them were on at her), turns out the big bunch of flowers on the bar that everyone thought were for Alice were actually from Tom to Kirsty.

(did no one check the card? How rude!)

[Tom] “I’m sorry if this sounds a bit bonkers … but I’ve realised … it suddenly dawned on me that if you’re going to be anyone’s girlfriends, you have to be mine.”

[Kirsty] “What about Brenda?”

[Tom] “We’re friends, that’s all. She’s moved on, I’ve moved on. We both agree we have no future together.”

Kirsty admits she was avoiding Tom as she was jealous of him and Brenda.

[Kirsty] “I realised I was in big trouble, because …”

[Tom] “You mean …”

[Kirsty] “I love you Tom. I always have.”

[Tom] “Well, that’s good. Because I love you too Kirsty.”

And they snog.

(*sigh* Just when I thought no Helen and Rob meant an escape from snogging!)

Well, I’ve come to slightly hate Tom less recently, but he is still a plonker of the highest order.

Kirsty really could do better, and should know better.

Darrell moves in with Shula
Darrell seems to be stalking Shula. He was waiting outside for her as she chatted to Caroline.

[Darrell] “I just wasn’t sure if this was your car.”

(I hope not … Shula and Caroline sounded like they were having a few sherries)

Darrell just wanted to check Shula had got his text, and that she knew he’d meant his apology.

(how rude of Shula not to reply!)

[Shula] “Oh, look, since you’re here, won’t you at least come in and have something to eat.”

Darrell tells Shula about losing his temper in The Bull. He was upset, and felt everyone was laughing at him. He’s also beyond fatigued.

[Darrell] “Trouble is, I haven’t had a proper night sleep in I don’t know how long … It’s like I’m always half-awake waiting for the next blow.”

Shula tells him that the offer of a bed is still open.

I somehow don’t think he’ll turn it down this time.

Panto or Jane Austen?: Thurs 03.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Thu, 3 Oct 2013 20:25:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Thursday 3rd October 2013

The recession catches up with Ambridge
It’s Jill’s birthday
Jill’s already made the wedding cakes
Kenton’s oblivious
The Christmas show … Jane Austen or Panto?
The loo is blocked
The Harvest Supper
Don’t kids call their parents anymore?
Darrell did apologise to Shula
Ruth wants an automatic calf feeder

The recession catches up with Ambridge

Kathy’s becoming increasing unoptimistic that she’ll just walk into another job at the same level.

[Kathy] “I know I can’t afford to be choosy, I’m willing to take a lower salary, but there are too many people after too few jobs.”

Welcome to our world!

It’s Jill’s birthday

[Jill] “I try my best to forget, but my children won’t let me.”

Most of her brood popped round to see her at some point today. But, not much of a fuss was made this year.

Jill had Christmas on mind.

Jill’s already made the wedding cakes

Blimey.

Can we assume from the earlier production date that they’re some sort of fruit cake?

Kenton’s oblivious

Kenton went on and on and on and one about his wedding to Jill, when Kathy was also in the shop, just trying to pay.

When she’d left, Kenton reckoned she didn’t sound too chirpy.

[Jill] “You noticed. Did you?”

[Kenton] “Life goes on.”

Indeed.

Life just doesn’t move on as fast for some.

The Christmas show … Jane Austen or Panto?

Jill demanded Kenton was present at tonight’s meeting about the Panto. She needs his moral support.

[Jill] “Lynda confined in me she’s planning an evening of Jane Austen.”

[Kenton] “Jane Austen? That’s not very Christmassy.”

[Jill] “No. It will be just like last year. Very worthy.”

[Kenton] “And massively dull.”

[Jill] “So, unless you can come up some sort of Regency equivalent of your Lord of Misrule.”

[Kenton] “Isn’t it about time that we had a proper panto?”

(yes, yes, yes!!!)

Anyhoo – the Christmas show committee this year is Alan, Robert, Vicky, Neil, Lynda, Jill, Kenton and Sabrina:

[Lynda] “She’s always been a stalwart of the Christmas show.”

[Jill] “And who can forget her cat in dick Whittington!”

[Lynda] “Quite. And it’s about time we had a few younger people involved.”

Jill concurs, but reckons that young people are too busy these days. Lynda reckons that if you ask a busy person …

It’s only Jill and Lynda so far, with Kenton just arrived.

[Lynda] “What have you done with Robert?”

[Kenton] “He’s just putting the recycling out.”

[Lynda] “I asked him to do that hours ago!”

(poor Robert. He must have a lot of recycling put out, as we don’t hear from him at all this evening)

So … Lynda outlines her plans:

[Lynda] “There is a particularly wonderful scene from Emma, set at Christmas.”

[Jill] “Would it be possible to dramatise this scene, rather than just have somebody read it?”

[Lynda] “I suppose one could, though I feel with Jane Austen it’s all in the language, and what you want to hear is her particular turn of phrase … there will, of course, be other elements.”

Like fancy dress. And a prize for the best dressed bonnet.

[Kenton] “That will go down well with the lads!”

[Lynda] “And music from the regency period, dancing. Drinks and nibbles.”

[Kenton] “Lovely and dull.”

[Lynda] “Kenton, how can you call Jane Austen dull!?!”

[Kenton] “Speaking as your average bloke …”

[Jill] “My worry, don’t you think it sounds a bit like last year?”

Lynda reckons that was a roaring success. Kenton reminds her that he played a major part …

[Lynda] “Your input will ensure this year is lively and amusing.”

[Kenton] “Not if it’s all about Book reading and bonnets and blokes in tight trousers dancing … I just can’t see it pulling in the crowds.”

Big Lynda *Sniff*

[Jill] “Have you considered doing a pantomime?”

[Lynda] “I feel I’ve rather exhausted my repertoire.”

[Kenton] “But that’s the joy of Panto, a familiar story.”

[Lynda] “That is the joy of revisiting Jane Austen!”

Jill suggests maybe another tale. Like Pinocchio, something from Arabian Nights. Or Robin Hood.

[Lynda] “We’ve done Robin Hood … ah, reinforcements, good. Perhaps now we can have a sensible discussion.”

We don’t get to hear the rest.

Darn it!

Panton, panto, panto (would be my vote!)

The loo is blocked

Is there no end to the problems at Grey Gables’ health Club?

[Kathy] “It could happen anytime, but it is a bit unpleasant.”

Indeed.

And not very, um, healthy.

The Harvest Supper

Was at Darrington this year.

I did wonder where it had got to.

Seems Shula wasn’t very impressed. It was a quiet affair, despite them serving some rather potent rhubarb wine.

[Shula] “When we have the harvest supper here we always end up with a bit of music or some dancing.”

Shame on Darrington for putting on such a poor show.

Don’t kids call their parents anymore?

Seems not in Ambridge.

Though Daniel called Jill to wish her happy birthday, Shula didn’t have a clue that he was in Queens, New York. Last time she heard, Daniel was on a Greyhound.

[Shula] “We have to rely on his rather cryptic posts on Facebook.”

(eh? Surely arriving in New York would lead to a plethora of Facebook posts?!?)

Pip sent a card and an email to Jill.

[Jill] “About how many hectares of winter wheat she’s drilled.”

[David] “That’s exciting.”

[Jill] “And how much fun she’s having with the Young Yorkshire Farmers.”

That’s all new news to David and Ruth. They also have to check on Facebook for Pip’s movements.

Shame.

But it also raises the question of why these kids have their parents as friends on Facebook … surely that’s a big no no?

Darrell did apologise to Shula

Though Jill thinks it was brave of Shula to offer Darrell a room, Shula now reckons it was “foolish” of her. She just couldn’t bear the thought of him sleeping outside when:

[Shula] “We’ve got that great big house with rooms to spare …”

But, at least Darrell has apologised.

Though Jill seemed perturbed he’d texted his apology. One imagines a telephone call would have been more appropriate.

Later on, Kenton also expresses his concern for Darrell:

[Kenton] “I felt so sorry for him, so defeated.”

He was even thinking about giving Darrell a shift in The Bull washing dishes. But that was before Darrell lost his temper.

[Kenton] “He needs help, doesn’t he?”

[Shula] “I know. I know he does.”

Question is … who from?

Ruth wants an automatic calf feeder

Ruth’s feeding many calves, while David has got the tatties in and a contractor gets their maze silage in.

[Jill] “That’s the trouble with block calving, too many mouths to feed at once.”

Ruth was murder for an automatic feeders, but they still have that silage tank to pay for.

Pesky badgers …

Poppy’s named after a cow – Wed 02.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Wed, 2 Oct 2013 23:53:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Wednesday 2nd October 2013

Spare a thought for them outdoors
Gies a ring
“Four weeks’ time, I’ll be Mrs Archer!”
Elvis will walk Jolene up the aisle
Why has Oliver never heard of Etta James?
Rosa calls Darrell smelly
That local authority chap has been back
Joe’s not even interested in Bartleby
Joe’s talking like a dead man walking
Poppy was a cow
Darrell nearly gets barred
When Ed met Oliver

Spare a thought for them outdoors

[Rosa] “There’s no wetter place to be than on a scooter when it’s raining.”

Rosa got saturated getting to work today.

Seems it was also thundering last night.

[Ed] “Glad I didn’t have to be out in that.”

Rosa goes quite at that.

Her dad’s out there …

Gies a ring

[Jolene] “This may be news to you Kenton, but gold doesn’t dissolve in water.”

Jolene and Kenton have just bought their wedding rings. Jolene can’t wait to go home before looking at them again.

[Jolene] “Sid never wanted a wedding ring, neither did Wayne, come to that.”

Kenton also didn’t have a ring after he wed Mel. But he wants one this time. Though he won’t be giving them to Jamie until the day of the wedding.

[Kenton] “He’s got as remarkable talent for losing things.”

“Four weeks’ time, I’ll be Mrs Archer!”

Says Jolene.

Well, one of the many in Ambridge.

Elvis will walk Jolene up the aisle

Kenton quite fancied Jolene walking down the aisle to Charles Aznavour singing She.

[Kenton] “That song always makes me think of you.”

But, Jolene has other ideas:

[Kenton] “So, you’re going to be boogying up the aisle to Blue Suede Shoes?”

[Jolene] “Yeah, it’ll be different, won’t it? … Fallon suggested Love Me Tender, or I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You.”

She’s going for a 1950s ditty to fit their 1950s wedding.

Why has Oliver never heard of Etta James?

Kenton also suggested Jolene could walk up the aisle to Etta James.

Oliver’s never heard of Etta James.

Just how is that possible?

Rosa calls Darrell smelly

Darrell turns up at the diary to see Rosa.

He’s not in overalls. Has no hair net. And is dripping water onto the floor.

Rosa’s furious.

[Rosa] “What do you want … you’ve seen me now?”

Darrell reckons he has money for Elona. Rosa reckons he can just stick in through their letterbox, as per.

(hang on … why is he still giving money when he’s homeless? That’s surely just daft)

[Rosa] “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

Though Darrell is hanging around Ambridge hoping to see Rosa, she reckons it’s just to try and cadge drinks off of folks in The Bull.

[Rosa] “Do you want to know why they won’t talk to you or buy you a drink? It’s because you smell … You’re like some seedy old tramp.”

She tells him he should have washed before coming to see her.

Harsh!

Darrell slinks away, upset.

Later on, Oliver finds Rosa. She’s been crying. The smeared mascara was a giveaway.

[Rosa] “I must look like a right witch.”

She tells Oliver all.

[Rosa] “I didn’t mean to be such a cow, he’s just so embarrassing, And I know I shouldn’t say that about my dad, but … he’s always doing it. Letting us down, and we have to move, and then just when we’re sorted … he goes and messes everything up again. And he expects me and Anna to forgive him all the time … I can’t keep making excuses for him.”

[Oliver] “He’s really down on his luck just now.”

[Rosa] “I know. But he’s no-one to blame but himself.”

True.

But did she really need to tell him he smells?

That local authority chap has been back

This time to see Joe.

[Joe] “All I know is me feet went from under me, I tried to save myself, and down I went. What more else is there to say?”

[Ed] “You’re the victim of someone else not doing their job properly.”

Ah … but the question is … what department of the Council is so interested in Grey Gables?

Joe’s not even interested in Bartleby

Not, that’s a real worry.

He’s also not been to see Poppy as yet.

Joe’s talking like a dead man walking

[Joe] “You both got little girls now. So, why don’t you shake him by the hand and buy him a drink … I don’t want to go to me grave knowing you two are still at each other’s throat.”

[Ed] “Well you’re not going to your grave anytime soon.”

[Joe] “ I wouldn’t be too sure of that.”

Offt … is Joe just depressed, or is he really on his way out?

Poppy was a cow

Ed’s nearly as bad as Emma sometimes. Though she’s at least been to meet Will and Nic’s new young ‘un. He’s only seen photos.

[Ed] “Funny looking little thing … Will’s obviously forgotten we also had a famous cow called Poppy.”

I don’t remember this, but Eddie has a cow called Poppy who used to paint pictures. They were even shown at a gallery in Lower Loxley.

[Ed] “Basically, Will’s named his daughter after a cow!”

Looks like Will and Nic having a child has also struck a nerve with Ed.

Darrell nearly gets barred

[Kenton] “He’s becoming a bit of a fixture I’m afraid.”

[Jolene] “I wouldn’t mind, but he does put some of the customers off.”

And at least he does have a wash before he sits down 9which he normally does anyway). Oliver was going to have a word, but Kenton said it wouldn’t be a good idea.

[Oliver] “Probably best not to get involved.”

When Darrell comes out of the toilet, everyone is having a hoot at Ed’s Poppy the cow story. But Darrell thinks they’re laughing at him.

[Darrell] “Think it’s funny? You all have homes to go to!”

He’s obviously smarting after Rosa.

He reckons no-one wants him around:

[Darrell] “ … ‘Take yourself off where decent folk can’t see you’ …”

On his way out, Darrell smashes some glasses (by mistake?)

[Kenton] “If he carries on like that, we’re going to have to bar him.”

My word.

When was the last time someone was barred from The Bull?

When Ed met Oliver

Oliver bought him a drink.

Mentions of lawsuits were not made. Though it was all a bit awkward.

Hello Poppy Grundy – Tues 01.10.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Tue, 1 Oct 2013 22:46:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Tuesday 1st October 2013

Poppy Grundy
Henry likes snails
Emma was the hero
Poppy’s not much of a looker?
Joe’s stopping in with Kathy
Brian’s very supportive
That’d been brilliant if Popp had been born on the village green
Tom’s missing Kirsty?
Emma wants to do a cookbook

Poppy Grundy

[Will] “Look at her little fingers.”

[Nic] “Hello Poppy.”

[Will] “You’re right, it suits her, Poppy.”

Poppy did come very close to being called Adele, but Nic reckons she looked like Poppy when she was born.

[Nic] “My daughter.”

[Will] “That we made. The two of us. Though you did all the hard work.”

Nic reckons the birth was an easy one. Despite what Will tells her she said to him during …

Seems Poppy is far smaller than either Jake or Mia were when they were born.

[Will] “Small, but perfectly formed.”

[Nic] “And bald as a coot.”

And they’re getting to get home today. Though it’s only been a night, Nic’s already hankering for home and home cooked food.

(Goodness. Felpersham Hospital must be awful!)

Henry likes snails

Helen’s leaving Henry with Emma while she does an extra shift in the dairy to cover Clarrie.

(!)

Henry heads straight outdoors.

[Helen] “He likes collecting snails.”

[Henry] “I like snails.”

(and puppy dogs’ tails, one would imagine)

Emma was the hero

Reckons Emma.

[Emma] “It was lucky I was there … I had to sort it all out.”

Later on:

[Helen] “Emma was the hero of the hour, apparently.”

(note the ‘apparently’)

Even later on, when Emma went round to meet Poppy.

[Emma] “It was lucky I was there.”

WE GET IT!!!!

Actually, seems Clarrie’s nose is out of joint. Seems the arrangement had always been for Nic to call Clarrie, so she could pick up the kids.

[Clarrie] “I would have come if you had called me.”

[Emma] “I just happened to be there.”

No wonder Clarrie doesn’t like Emma.

As well as the trouble she caused between her boys, Emma also seems to take delight in getting one over Clarrie.

Poppy’s not much of a looker?

[Emma] “Funny looking thing, ain't she … you can see why they called her that.”

[Helen] “Can you?”

[Emma] “She’s so pink.”

[Helen] “All babies look like munchkins when they’re born.”

[Emma] “Keira was a beauty from day one.”

(Oooh … she’s just so jealous)

When Nic, Poppy and Will get home:

[Clarrie] “He was not a pretty baby our William. I wouldn’t admit it at the time, but he wouldn’t be winning any bonny babies competitions.”

[Nic] “Clarrie’s just been telling me what an ugly baby you were.”

[Clarrie] “You looked like Joe without the hair!”

[Will] “Very charming.”

[Clarrie] “He got better as he grew up.”

[Nic] “Now he’ s perfectly lovely.”

[Will] “I wouldn’t go that far.”

(neither would I. I’ve always imagined Will as having the temperament of Heathcliff, without the brooding dark good looks)

Joe’s stopping in with Kathy

Joe isn’t at Nic and Will’s to meet Poppy.

[Clarrie] “It’s like everything’s too much effort, like he can’t be bothered no more.”

So, Kathy’s sat with him.

[Clarrie] “She’s got nothing else to do at the moment.”

True.

That’s an increasing worry about Joe, though.

[Clarrie] “It’s like he’s off in a world of his own.”

Nic reckons he looks frail. And seems he’s only picking at his food.

[Clarrie] “Breaks my heart to see him like this … I’d give my eyeteeth to have the rude, cankerous old Joe back.”

Brian’s very supportive

When Will told Brian he’d need his paternity leave now:

[Will] “He said, ‘oh, that’s bad timing’ …”

(well, as we know, Brian is no fan of paternity. The chap probably still believes kids should be brought up by a wet nurse, and sonly seen when it’s coming out time)

It is the first day of the shooting today, so Brian is slightly right. Though Will reckons it gets busier as the month progresses, so they’ll manage fine without him for the moment.

Well, they don’t have any choice.

That’d been brilliant if Popp had been born on the village green

Tom hadn’t heard that Nic’s waters had come early:

[Helen] “Waiting for the school bus.”

[Tom] “She had it on the green!”

Well, no.

But that would have made for excellent eavesdropping.

Tom’s missing Kirsty?

Tom was asking Helen if she’d seen Kirsty in the shop.

[Tom] “I haven’t seen her for a while, that’s all. I thought she might be on holiday.”

Seems he’s been calling, but she’s not answering her phone.

[Tom] “Probably turned her phone off as not to disturb the birds.”

Hmmm.

Interesting that Tom actually noticed Kirsty was around him a lot.

Wonder if she’s had second thoughts about him after seeing him and Brenda together.

After all, Brenda is meant to be her mate …

Emma wants to do a cookbook

For the church organ fund.

[Clarrie] “Never had you down for something like that.”

[Emma] “I may not have the years of experience like you Clarrie, but I do have two NVQs in catering!!!”

Well, that’s hardly more original than a calendar, is it?

Nic’s waters break (at the bus stop): Mon 30.09.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Mon, 30 Sep 2013 21:46:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Monday 30th September 2013

Susan’s family has nae class
Shall we invite that one from the prison?
Of course Joe can’t wait for his baccy!!!
Joe never to be in the fresh air again?
Nic wants to do a charity calendar
Alan kits out Darrell
Emma hasn’t even been to see Joe?
The new Grundy baby is on its way

Susan’s family has nae class.

Susan, Emma and Tracey are talking about Susan’s 50th party.

[Susan] “I can’t help feeling it’s a bit of a shame though … Grey Gables would have been a bit special. Me lovely dress.”

[Tracey] “You can still wear your posh frock. And at least at The Bull you don’t have to eat cake with silly little forks and worry about spilling on the carpet.”

[Emma] “Jolene and Freda always do lovely food.”

[Susan, resigned and trying to find something positive] “And the children will be happier.”

Susan wants Grey Gables, she gets The Bull. Shame.

You’d think someone would listen to her. Her 50th is quite an occasion.

[Tracey] “And it’s a big occasion, your half century.”

(see … eve Tracey knows it!)

Shall we invite that one from the prison?

Tracey’s sought out Susan’s address book so that she can invite some of her old pals to the party.

She comes across a Carol Broadhead, with an address in Wolverhampton.

[Emma] “Wasn’t she that woman you met in prison?”

[Tracey] “Probably not someone you want to invite to the party then.”

(what a cheek, considering how many of the Horrobins have been, and are in, prison).

She also find Maureen Travis’ address … Susan is furious.

(Maureen had a few week pops at bedding Neil. I kid you not!)

Of course Joe can’t wait for his baccy!!!

Alan’s out and about, dispensing the harvest produce collected at the church. Seems Joe is on his list of needy and worthy (and old enough).

[Alan] “I know you don’t need veg.”

[Joe] “Probably all going to rack and ruin out there now.”

Not so.

Eddie reckons he and George have been doing the honours.

So Alan gives him blackberries, sardines, corned beef, rice pudding and some ginger biscuits:

[Alan] “Which might be on the hard side, but I find them good for dunking.”

[Joe] “Might have brought me some baccy.”

[Nic] “Joe!”

Seems that’s not the sort of thing donated to a church harvest. And Eddie’s getting Joe some on the way home.

Outrageous!

Joe’s a heavy smoker.

Only a non-smoker would think it’s okay to leave him without any baccy at all.

Poor, poor Joe.

Joe never to be in the fresh air again?

Even Alan can’t persuade Joe outside for a wee wander.

[Joe] “It still hurts to move about … I don’t reckon I’ll get out there again … I’m 92 years old and I’ve had enough.”

When Alan reminds Joe that he has a great grandchild to meet any week now, Joe just groans.

Goodness me.

The black dog really has descended onto Joe.

Nic wants to do a charity calendar

Nic’s idea for raising funds for the church organ is a calendar, by the kids. It’d feature a picture foe ever month, by the junior church.

With her baby due, she asks Emma if she’s like to help out.

[Emma] “Everyone does calendar’s these days, don’t they!”

[Nic] “So, you won’t be interested in helping?”

[Emma, sensing the loss of a potential brownie point] “Me … it’s not that I don’t want to, I just might have my own idea for the organ fund. I don’t want to say anything yet, it’s at the planning stage, and well, um, here comes the bus …”

You really are a silly, silly girl, Emma Grundy.

Alan kits out Darrell

Alan spots Darrell, and calls out after him:

[Darrell, out of Alan’s earshot] “Oh no …”

[Alan] “Good grief, you have been in the wars, haven’t you?”

[Darrell] “Shula, is she alright, I kind of lost it with her, I feel bad about it, it weren’t her fault what happened.”

Darrell’s going to call Shula to apologise, Alan reckons she’d like that.

Alan also invites Darrell to the manse. He has harvest produce to share.

Darrell gets biscuits, chocolates, apple and the like.

[Darrell] “That’s great, but I’m not sure I can carry it all.”

Alan’s thought of that. He’s got Darrell a rucksack.

[Darrell] “Someone donated a rucksack to the harvest festival?”

Nope, it’s just one of Alan’s old ones. And he’s also put a sleeping bag in it.

[Alan] “Nights can get pretty chilly this time of year.”

Darrell’s so touched by Alan’s kindness, he starts crying.

[Alan] “It’s alright mate, nothing to be sorry about.”

Poor, poor Darrell.

Emma hasn’t even been to see Joe?
Sounds like it.

She has to ask Nic how he was. Nic tells all, and how no-one likes having to leaving Joe on his own. So, she’s been helping when Eddie and Clarrie have to work.

[Emma, sensing she’s being reprimanded. Which she wasn’t.] “I’d like to help out, but when I’m not working I’ve got Keira … and I’m a bit busy at the moment organising my mum’s 50th birthday party.”

Um … birthday party planning. Or 92 year old granddad, with broken arm and feeling depressed?

Come on Emma. It’s not a trick question.

The new Grundy baby is on its way

While waiting for the school bus with Emma, Nic’s waters brake.

(probably the shock of Emma making out she had also been planning a fundraiser for the church organ)

Nic starts panicking. Her mum is shopping in Birmingham. Will’s at work. And the kids are about to get off the bus from school.

For once, Emma proves her worth.

She’s organises to takes the kids, ring Will and make sure Nic gets to hospital.

When Emma gets home (well, back to Susan’s), she’s got the kids outside:

[Emma] “Playing grandmother’s footsteps, by the look of it.”

She’s also pumping herself up to be the hero of the hour: Though seems it only took Will 10 minutes to arrive.

[Emma] “So at least he’ll be there for the birth this time.”

(eh … what? I think you had some of the blame last time, Emma)

Susan insists that Jake and Mia stay at theirs while Will’s at the hospital with Nic, and Clarrie has enough to cope with looking after Joe. Emma reckons Mia won’t be happy to share her room.

Undoing all of the positive ‘hero of the hour’ work she’d done looking after Nic.

Anyhoo … I expect we’ll wake up the morrow to a new Grundy baby.

First mention of the Christmas Show!!!!!! – Sun 29.09.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Sun, 29 Sep 2013 22:21:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Sunday 29th September 2013

The farmers should be thankful
What about the harvest supper?
Who was that?
Ruth’s a part-time Christian
David burnt his finger
How long does it take to cook runner beans?
Elizabeth and Nigel’s 19th anniversary
Courgettes or broccoli?
The badgers are at David again
Darrell to benefit from the harvest bounty
The trees are on the turn
The Christmas show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Caroline wants to sell up

The farmers should be thankful

Reckons Alan. The harvest has been “very decent”.

Well, only to be expected:

[Shula] “Lovely service.”

[Alan] “Difficult to go wrong with harvest festival.”

What about the harvest supper?

No mention of it this year, at all.

Strange.

There’s normally such a fuss.

Who was that?

Some bloke said goodbye to Alan. And a woman said it was a nice service.

Who were they, then?

Ruth’s a part-time Christian

Shula was surprised to see Ruth at the service.

[Ruth] “One of those special occasions, like Christmas and Easter”

Ah, not taking it seriously, then?

She also managed to get Ben and Josh to coming along. Though Josh didn’t need to be persuaded as he’d given a whole tray of eggs for the collection.

David burnt his finger

On a saucepan lid.

[Elizabeth] “Badly?”

[David] “It’s alright, I’ll live.”

Thank goodness for that.

How long does it take to cook runner beans?

[David] “How long does it take runner beans to cook when they’re a bit old and tough?”

[Elizabeth] “Ten minutes will do, but don’t bother if they’re stringy.”

Ah, thanks for that.

Elizabeth and Nigel’s 19th anniversary

Would have been today if Nigel hadn’t … um … died.

[David] “Would you like a bit of company?”

[Elizabeth] “I’m fine. But it’s always nice to see you. Come for tea.”

[David] “Will there be cake?”

Later on, they remember Nigel tearing about on his bike. Then coming off it when he hit a tree root.

[Elizabeth] “And be terribly aggrieved. As if tree roots had no place in an arboretum.”

Elizabeth admits that she sometimes forgets that Nigel’s gone.

But hey ho … she reckons she’s doing just fine. She’s busy with the dairy conversion, which has finally got planning permission.

(remembered but also forgotten, eh …)

Courgettes or broccoli?

Is what’s on Oliver’s mind.

Caroline has slightly more pressing matters. Lynda’s called. The health club changing rooms have flooded. They’ve had to close it, and customers are complaining.

[Caroline] “Demanding to see the manager., Point is Oliver, we simply can’t risk anymore bad publicity.”

[Oliver] “Surely you can have lunch!”

Well, no.

Caroline has slightly more important matters to attend to. Though Oliver does also seem to realise that:

[Oliver] “She’s driving herself into the ground again, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do to stop her.”

The badgers are at David again
Something’s damaged the Brookfield crops.

[David] “Of course it’s blasted badgers! It’s typical isn’t it, they wait until the cobs are just about ready, then they’re in there!”

[Ruth] “Like birds with cherries.”

[David] “Like a herd of buffalo, trampling them into the ground.”

Seems the contractors will be in on Thursday to harvest:

[David] “That leaves four nights for the badgers to wreck merry havoc.”

So, they’ll have to put up an electric fence. David’s furious.

[Elizabeth] “I felt like then when we had moles dig up the lawn just before a wedding., I was furious.”

[David] “Rats and pigeons, nobody bats an eyelids, but when it comes to badgers.”

[Ruth] “Ben thinks they’re cute and cuddly.”

[David] “When you tot up what they’ve cost us over the years …”

Well, those badgers must be laughing it up!

If David has his way, they won’t be laughing for long …

Darrell to benefit from the harvest bounty

Shula’s poured out her dramas with Darrell to Alan. He’s shocked at the way Darrell treated her:

[Alan] “He’s usually such a gentle soul.”

[Shula] “I’ve seemed to have alienated him completely … I can’t just give up on him.”

[Alan] “You can only help people if they want to be helped … sometimes you just have to take a step back.”

Shula was wondering if Alan could step in. Maybe help find Darrell somewhere else to go. But, Darrell does want to stay local.

At the very least, Alan had already thought that Darrell might be glad of a few items from the food they gathered for the harvest supper.

Shula’s glad to hear he’ll at least be seeing him.

The trees are on the turn

It’s official folks.

Summer is over, Autumn is well on the way.

The Christmas show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Elizabeth] “Have you talked to mum about her birthday?”

[David] “She doesn’t want any fuss.”

Elizabeth tells him that Jill has a meeting that day. About the Christmas show:

[David] “Christmas show? So this will be Lynda!?!”

[Elizabeth] “Apparently Lynda has something planned for Christmas which mum thinks is a bit earnest and not much fun, so she feels duty bound to talk her out of it.”

My goodness … Christmas is coming early this year.

So, the eternal question …

… will it be a panto?

I do hope so. I do love a panto.

Caroline wants to sell up

Caroline’s been thinking about the future. The hotel is stressing her beyond distraction, and making her:

[Caroline] “Ratty, bad tempered. I know I’ve been horrible to you … none of your fault.”

[Oliver] “Well, some of it was.”

(well yes indeed. It was!)

Caroline is now wondering whether it’s all worth it. She’s had enough of the responsibility, having to take the blame:

[Caroline] “Having to grovel and say sorry … it can be such a thankless task. I’m honestly not sure if I want to carry on.”

Caroline wants to sell up.

[Caroline] “It’s the only way to be shot of the responsibility.”

She reckons they could then spend half the year in Italy, if they fancied.

(alright for some!)

But … believe it or not … Liver cautions she take her time. He reckons Caroline would be bored without the hotel, especially after all the years of dedication. And considering all of the stress right now:

[Oliver] “This is not a good time to be making life changing decisions.”

Well then.

Back to the argument about Caroline getting a manager in …

… are you listening in, Kathy?

Joe misses Bartleby – Fri 27.09.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Fri, 27 Sep 2013 21:12:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Friday 27th September 2013

Caroline’s losing customers
Kathy should sue?
Rosa has enough sandwiches for Jamie
Rosa and Jamie?
Rosa does and doesn’t want to know about her dad
Caroline reckons Eddie’s just human
What department is Mr Hughes from?
Joe couldn’t find his slippers
Bartleby and Joe, back together

Caroline’s losing customers

Three have cancelled their restaurant booking in the last 24 hours, including one part of 12.

Oh dear.

[Caroline] “I’ve a horrible feeling this is only the start.”

Oliver’s being a tad glib about the whole experience. He reckons the Echo will soon be recycling fodder, and that worrying won’t change anything. He wants lunch, as he has to milk for Ed later on.

[Caroline] “Least there’s one Grundy talking to us then.”

Well, not really. Ed’s making sure that he’s not there when Oliver arrives.

Kathy should sue?

Not another one! But luckily, it’s only Rosa who thinks she should. Jamie reckons Kathy’s just glad to be away from Martyn.

Rosa has enough sandwiches for Jamie

Shame she hasn’t thought to give some to her dad …

Rosa and Jamie?

Well, it’d be an obvious match considering Rosa previously expressed her interest in the young Mr perks.

Seems he called on the off chance that she was working at the dairy. She was.

[Jamie] “My lucky day.”

[Rosa] “You hit jackpot. You get to see me, plus you get a free lunch!”

Well, at least Rosa has confidence in herself!

Rosa does and doesn’t want to know about her dad

Jamie mentions to Rosa that he’d seen Darrell in the village, sporting a cracker of a black eye.

[Rosa] “Oh no, what’s he got himself into this time … I’ve had it with worrying about him!”

So, she tells Jamie not to tell her more.

Then later on, she does want to know (course she does).

[Rosa] “Did it look, like, really bad? … Somebody must have had a go at him …Whoever it was shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it … he was alright, though, was he? Apart from the black eye … I wish he’d just get his act together.”

Hang on … so Rosa knows he’s homeless?

That’d mean Elona knows, surely?

I know they’ve split, but couldn’t she take a wee bit of pity. Just for a wee bit?

Caroline reckons Eddie’s just human

[Oliver] “Hmm, a very nice piece of salmon.”

Caroline’s not hungry (and by the way … I know Oliver is just trying to stop Caroline dwelling, but maybe he could also express just a modicum of concern, just every once in a while)

She’s remembering when they used to sit in the restaurant and plan the buy-out of the hotel.

[Oliver] “And we’d scribble down the figures on the back of the specials menu.”

In those days, Caroline feels she was optimistic. Full of wild ideas, but also only had to concentrate on the basics to be perfect for her business to do well.

[Caroline] “Now one person has a bad experience and the story goes round the world.”

(damn that Tripadvisor!)

But, Caroline doesn’t blame Eddie for her woes. She knows he’s angry, upset, lashing out. She just hopes their insurance company will sort it all out soon.

What department is Mr Hughes from?

Seems the Local Authority has been into Grey Gables. A Mr Hughes came in to see how they “handled” the accident.

[Caroline] “Hopefully he can get back tomorrow, and start rebuilding our reputation.”

Alas, not to be.

Mr Hughes called back later to say that they would need to investigate further. In great detail.

[Caroline] “And they can’t rule out a prosecution … goodness knows who else they’re going to rake up from the night!”

Oliver is again trying to be calm and rationale (damn him!)

[Oliver] “We want all the fact to come out … they’re just doing their job.”

[Caroline] “I just can’t bear all this uncertainty.”

Neither can I.

Just what Local Authority department is Mr Hughes from?

Joe couldn’t find his slippers

So Ed found them for him.

Bartleby and Joe, back together

Joe’s worried about Bartleby. Ed reckons he’s probably fine.

[Joe] “He ain’t getting the attention these days … I can see him in me mind’s eye, standing underneath that old chestnut tree, nobody going near him from one day to the next, at least only have quick look and chuck him a bundle of hay … was a time back long I’d be hitching him up to the trap every day, we’d have a little trot round the field. He must be wondering what’s going on, standing there all on his own. Probably thinks I’ve shoved off this mortal coil …”

Ed can’t take anymore. And tells Joe exactly what he was after in the first place (crafty auld man).

[Ed] “Don’t you worry granddad, we’ll cheer him up.”

Later on, Ed and George have a surprise for Joe.

[Joe] “Lot of fuss when I was just having a nice little doze … I ain't feeling to chipper today.”

But, Joe’s over the moon to see they’ve taken Bartleby up to see him.

[Joe] “He looks grand!”

[George, to Ed] “You said he was looking a bit fat!”

Well, they do all agree Bartleby needs more exercise. Though he looks dapper, as Ed and George have brushed them. They promise to visit him every day.

[Ed] “Well, as often as we can.”

[Joe] “Bartleby, me old friend …”

Aw!

There’s nothing like the love between an old man and his pony.

Darrell accosts Shula in the Church Yard: Thurs 26.09.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Thu, 26 Sep 2013 21:22:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Thursday 26th September 2013

Joe’s front page news
The Local Authority visit to Grey Gables is clarified
Helen has ‘coffee’ in Rob’s office
Darrell tells Shula to go shake a tin
Rob’s feeling the pressure

Joe’s front page news

Joe’s made the front page of The Echo.

[Alistair] “Must have been a slow news week.”

But, seems there was a reporter on the spot. Ray invited them … (doh!)

[Alistair, reading the headline] “Pensioner hurt in Mexican night fiasco …The Margaritas were flowing, the mariachi band were charming diners with their saucy love songs.”

[Shula] “Oh for goodness sake!”

[Alistair, still reading from the paper] “But laughter turned to horror when pensioner Joe Grundy took a tumble in the corridor.”

[Shula] “Gasps of horror, how ridiculous! … Caroline’s dreadfully upset. There’s a long quote from Eddie Grundy.”

[Alistair, again reading fir us from the Echo] “When you go for a fun night out, this is the last thing you expect. Especially when it’s supposed to be one of the top hotels in the county … to a man of his age, a fall like this can be very serious.”

Well, that’s a fair enough comment from Eddie, I reckon.

Just a though, couldn’t Caroline counter-sue Ray?

The Local Authority visit to Grey Gables is clarified

[Shula] “Whichever the department it is that deals with regulations for this sort of thing.”

Thanks for that, Shula.

Helen has ‘coffee’ in Rob’s office

Helen calls Rob, but it’s a bad moment. 70 more heifers have just arrived at the Super Dairy.

She wants to invite Rob to Alice’s 25th birthday party at Jaxx next week.

[Rob] “I’m sorry Helen, I really can’t think about this right now.”

[Helen] “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have phoned you … I hope they’re all okay.”

(the cows … before she met Rob, Helen would have been trying to break ‘em free, not wish ‘em well)

Rob suggests she comes over to his work later on. Helen jumps at the chance, changing her plans.

(he says jump, she gladly does so)

When Helen’s at the Super Dairy, they go to the office for a snog.

(surely it’s only a matter of time before someone starts wondering why Helen is spending so much time there)

Seems Alice also invited Rob to her party.

[Rob] “It should be a pretty lively affair … If it’s a whole load of bright young things, I might feel a bit left out.”

(really? I imagined Rob to be quite a dapper chap)

[Helen] “I thought it might just be a chance for us, well, to be together …”

[Rob] “Even though if we both are there, we can’t be together …”

[Helen] “We won’t be able to sit there, smooching in the corner.”

[Rob] “Pity … As long as you promise to wear that prize winning necklace of yours”

*sigh*

Just stop it now Helen. Please?

Darrell tells Shula to go shake a tin

Today, it’s Darrell chasing after Shula, rather than the other way round. She’s shocked to see he’s rather beaten up:

[Darrell, furious] “Not pretty is it … I got mixed up with you … stay away from me, stop interfering in my life … you, and your interfering do-gooding friends … Because of you, I got a good kicking. Because of you … I don’t want you sorting anything out, have you got that. I don’t want you talking to me, I don’t want you talking about me, I don’t want anything to do with ya. Is that clear enough for you? Next time you want to save the word, go and shake a tin on the high street … don’t use me to make you feel good! … I’m sick of playing the sucker to make your empty life worthwhile!”

Ouch!

He really meant that.

A lot if it was fair enough, but also a tad OTT considering Shula has also offered him her home.

Without Shula, Darrell will be completely on his own. But, that looks like it’s exactly what he wants.

Shula, horribly upset, calls Alistair.

[Shula] “He just went for me. He was so angry.”

After Alistair established that Darrell hadn’t actually physically attacked Shula:

[Shula] “He was so aggressive, he launch into this massive tirade, and he looked terrible.”

Alistair really is quite a nice chap. He tells Shula to go home and have a cup of tea, while he heads home as well to look after her.

Seems Shula had phoned the Elms to try and sort things out for Darrell. Seems the Elms had their eye on Eric anyway:

[Shula] “I got the impression there’d been trouble before.”

Alistair reckons that Shula can’t take what Darrell said to heart. He’s “not himself” at the moment. He also stops Shula from heading back out to try and find Darrell, and should leave him alone.

[Shula] “Even if I made his life harder than it was?”

[Alistair] “You didn’t mean to.”

[Shula] “As if that makes a difference.”

[Alistair] “This is about you … I know you want to make the world a good place but it can’t always be done I’m afraid, I wanted my farmer at Little Croxley to be free of TB.”

(which he isn’t)

Though Alistair reckons Darrell will look back on all of this and realise what Shula was trying to do, now is not the moment to press him.

[Alistair] “I think you should stay away. I mean it, Shula.”

I reckon he’s right.

Rob’s feeling the pressure

Seems Rob’s a tad stressed out at work. They’re at the stage where they’re putting “theory in practice”. The point where everything could go horribly wrong, all too easily.

[Rob] “If this place goes down, no-one is going to let me run anything.”

Helen reckons she could put a word in with Tom.

[Rob, jesting] “Great, second pigman working under Jazzer.”

Helen loves the sound of that. She’d at least get to see more of Rob.

[Rob] “Well now, if you put it like that …”

And they start snogging, yet again.

Thankfully, Darrell interrupted them. He didn’t see anything, and Helen just pretended she was dropping off an invite.

(Darrell was in to ask for work, but Rob didn’t have anything for him)

Brenda briefly blunders back – Wed 25.09.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Wed, 25 Sep 2013 20:55:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Wednesday 25th September 2013

Kathy’s a lady of leisure
Brenda’s back for a bit
So, what’s happening in Kirsty’s love life?
Cheap Stag do Vs expensive Hen do
Susan’s 50th will be at The Bull
Brenda tortures Tom
Paul’s still in mind

Kathy’s a lady of leisure

Though she is still getting up at a decent hour. Jamie reckons she deserves a few lie-ins and to enjoy herself a bit (though he wouldn’t say no to her getting up earlier and cooking him a breakfast. She did offer).

Kathy’s going into town to shop and also register with a few employment agencies.

[Jamie] “What’s the hurry? You’re still getting paid by the golf club. Make the most of it, recharge your batteries.”

But, Kathy has twigged that the job market isn’t exactly bountiful right now. She’s also not as young as she used to be.

Still, she’s glad to be away from Martyn. And Jamie’s well and truly on her side.

[Jamie] “Well done mum. You stuck up for yourself … I’m proud of you.”

(What a changed lad he is!)

Brenda’s back for a bit

Kirsty’s surprised by a surprise visit from Brenda.

She’s only back to:

[Brenda] “Convince dad and Vicky that I’m alive and well.”

(I thought Kirsty was getting updates from Brenda … odd she didn’t mention she was coming back for a visit)

So … Brenda’s still in London. Still living in Zach’s flat. And though us in touch with Dmitry, it is still over between them.

She reckons she’s learning from Zach and also doing a bit of work for them.

[Brenda] “To be honest, I need to get a proper job sorted out.”

(ya think? How she’s survived this long on no money is interesting)

Seems she has got interviews coming up.

So, what’s happening in Kirsty’s love life?

[Brenda] “That’s what I miss. All the goss.”

She asks Kirsty how her love life is going. She’s heard Kirsty split with the (ever non-present) Damon.

[Brenda] “Anyone else on the scene?”

[Kirsty] “I wouldn’t say that exactly.”

[Brenda] “Well, what would you say?”

[Kirsty] “How about you tell me more about Zach?”

Oh ho! Kirsty obviously doesn’t want to even remotely hint she’s very (very) interested in Tom. Though there’s no harm done so far … Tom remains completely oblivious.

When Kirsty’s later in The Bull to collect stock for Jaxx, she spots Brenda and Tom having lunch. Tom calls her over, but she makes her mistake as fast as she can.

Awkward.

Cheap Stag do Vs expensive Hen do

Jamie and Kenton are trying to work out where they should go for Kenton’s stag do.

Kenton says no to Amsterdam and Prague. Actually, he says no to any trip abroad as he reckons he can’t spend more on his stag do than they are on their honeymoon (which is a stay in a Gastro pub in the Lake District). Jamie’s gutted.

[Jamie] “Bingo night at the village hall followed by a take away curry … it’s got to be a bit epic, though.”

On the other side, Lilian and Jolene are planning a hotel and health spa hen do.

[Jolene] “We’re going to pamper ourselves shamelessly.”

[Lilian] “And after that, we’re going to undo all that good work with a slap up dinner.”

Kenton sounds impressed by their plans. Especially that there will only be four of them going.

[Jamie, sarcastically] “If it’s a beauty spa you want, just say. It’s a good way to keep the numbers down …”

It doesn’t sound like Lilian and Jolene are remotely concerned about the cost of the hen do. They’re far too focused on having a marvellous time. Including body wraps which sooth the soul:

[Lilian] “I think I’ll settle for the body treatment, my soul might be harder to read.”

Lilian settles on them having the full package treatment, and is very impressed by the hotel:

[Lilian] “Very swanky, we shall have to put on our best frocks for dinner.”

Maybe Kenton should also hang the expense and go abroad.

Susan’s 50th will be at The Bull

Neither she nor Neil really have any imagination …

Brenda tortures Tom

She’s barely moved out her pants, yet Brenda make a beeline to Tom.

He reckons she looks amazing. She doesn’t return the compliment (though maybe Tom looks terrible). She wants to take him to lunch at The Bill.

[Tom] “For you Bren, of course I have [time]”

(poor Tom. He’s not remotely over Brenda. She knows that …)

At lunch, she waffles on about Zach, and how amazing his social life is. Which she also gets to enjoy.

She also tells Tom about her job interviews:

[Brenda] “They’re both in marketing … pretty basic though, and you’ve got to start somewhere.”

[Tom] “I always knew you were too good for Amside.”

Though Brenda reckons she has to thank Amside. Especially Lilian.

[Brenda] “If she’d been nice to me, I’d never have taken the risk.”

(well, Tom was nice to her. Most of the time. That didn’t seem to make a difference).

Brenda eventually gets round to asking Tom how he’s getting on:

[Brenda] “You’re whole life is exciting,. Cutting edge of retail …”

[Tom] “You taking the micky?”

Quite right too Tom … what a witch!

I never thought I’d say this, but he’s best off without her. Brenda’s welcome to her Russians and low level marketing job.

Paul’s still in mind

The hotel Lilian and Jolene are looking at it quite near the Antiques Fair Lilian and Paul went to.

Though it was lovely to hear Lilian guffawing again, she got sad as soon as she thought of him. Jolene then reminded her about the painting she has stashed away, on Lilian’s behalf. Though Lilian can’t cope with that, she’s also sure she’ll be the soul of the party:

[Lilian] “I shan’t be sitting in a corner quietly sobbing.”

Some bloke attacks Darrell – Tues 24.09.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Tue, 24 Sep 2013 18:36:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Tuesday 24th September 2013

Nic’s happy to help
Joe will be planning his funeral soon
They still don’t like that Super Dairy
Josh is donating his eggs
Eric beats up Darrell
Kathy went wrong when she left teaching
Eddie’s got a solicitor

Nic’s happy to help

Nic’s helping Eddie get Joe into the car to go to his hospital appointment. She’s also helping by getting the shopping in. Despite being very heavily pregnant – she’s due in 2 weeks:

[Nic] “I’m pregnant, not ill.”

(oops … sorry Nic!)

Nic also offers to let Eddie have a quick spell down the pub, while she looks after Joe.

[Eddie] “Ah Nic, you’re an angel.”

Which begs the question, where’s Emma?

Though Ed later told Eddie that he and Emma would help whenever asked, shouldn’t they be offering rather than waiting to be asked?

Just like when Clarrie broke her wrist. It was only Nic who went round and helped.

Well soon get to hear Emma moaning about Saint Nic soon enough. Again.

Joe will be planning his funeral soon

So, everyone agrees that this accident has “knocked the stuffing” out of Joe. Ed reckons that he spends most of his time sleeping these days.

He later makes a comment about not being round to see the Super Dairies take over the land (see below).

Actually, Joe does sound depressed. His literally weighed down by his new cast (which is heavier), and is feeling his age and the wickedness of modern times.

He’s also lost his sense of humour. Which Ruth jokes that he’ll have to get his cast signed by everyone:

[Joe] “I’d just as soon not be treated like the village noticeboard, if that’s all the same to you.”

(oops)

Eddie’s worried sick.

[Ed] “He’s tough, is granddad … Look at how low we got after we lost the farm, you were worried he was going to do something desperate, he bounced back alright.”

[Eddie] “This is different .. .something’s changed, |For the first time, I;m seeing him as an old man. And that’s hard with someone you felt was indestructible. Like those old boots of his … these days, he’s scared of going to the toilet on his own … I know he’s finding it hard too. He’s a proud ,man, you’re granddad. Suddenly he’s dependent on us for everything,. He hates it.”

Ed reckons Eddie needs to be strong for Joe. Eddie’s determined to do just that:

[Eddie] “I will be … no matter how long it takes.”

Again – this is why I reckon Eddie’s so hell bent on suing Grey Gables. It’s about one of the only things he can control and do for his dad.

They still don’t like that Super Dairy
As another truckload of heifers pass by Ed and Ruth bound for the Super Dairy:

[Ruth] “Look at the size of that thing!”

[Ed] “I’ve seen they’ve given it a folksy name, Berrow Farm.”

[Ruth] “Maybe they should call it Mil Production Unit number 1469. That’d be more in keeping.”

When Ruth later goes round to see Joe:

[Joe] “How’s them cows of yours, Ruth Archer, still outside?”

Aye, reckons Ruth. They’ll be out for at least another month. Which starts off Joe on a rant about the Super Dairy:

[Joe] An abomination, it is. Grazing beasts are meant to be outside on good fresh pasture, the way our Edward does it … still, we ain't got to stop it, are we. That’s the kind of farming the powers that be want, big companies, nobody else. We’ll end up with a few massive farms producing everything. Well, I’m glad I shan't be around to see it.”

Looks like the folks who were so anti-Super Dairy are still so … but now just quietly mumbling about their dissent.

Get those placards back into action!

Josh is donating his eggs

As part of the harvest supper.

That lad know a PR opportunity when he sees one …

Eric beats up Darrell

Darrell’s begging for change (poor chap).

[Eric] “Well, look who we got here, if it’s not my old friend Darrell … [I’ve] Plenty of change. But not of it spare, so you’re out of luck.”

Looks like Eric is also homeless. He’s a bit of an aggressive chap, and reckons Darrell is begging on his “patch”. He tells Darrell to scarper, or else.

Course, Darrell being a bit thick, he only goes as far as round the corner.

[Eric] “It’s all my patch … you should have asked. Anyone on the street could have told you.”

But there’s worse news for Darrell:

[Eric] “Someone’s grassed me up … someone's been telling them manager porkers about me. How I’ve been picking on other clients, aggressive behaviour, they call it … now, I’ve been barred until further notice .. .you;re going to be sorry about it, believe me … whoever it was, they owe me.”

Darrell swears it wasn’t him (actually, wasn’t it Shula?), but Eric isn’t listening. He attacks Darrell.

[Eric] “Now don’t let me see your ugly race round here again.”

We leave Ambridge tonight listening to Darrell whimpering for Elona.

He really does need to take up Shula’s offer. Quickly.

Kathy went wrong when she left teaching

Ruth and Nic think that she’s left the Golf Club is a shame for Kathy. Though it was of her own choice:

[Nic] “That’s brave in this day and age.”

[Joe] “She should never have given up that school teaching.”

Joe reckons it was steady and well paid.

Fair point.

But staying in a job you hate just for a wage packet makes for a very dull life … erm … though one can’t say that Kathy has exactly ever had a fulfilled life.

So aye.

It’s a shame on Kathy. In every respect.

Eddie’s got a solicitor

And has spoken to the Echo (after they called him). He reckons he’s only told them the “truth”.

He’s again taking more pictures of Joe, though he swears they’re for the solicitor, not the paper.

Eddie really does mean business.

Kathy quits her job – Mon 23.09.13 #thearchers

noreply@blogger.com (Inga McVicar) — Mon, 23 Sep 2013 21:36:00 +0100

Pondering The Archers Monday 23rd September 2013

A hot ‘date’ at an artisan food exhibition
What was wrong with Chloe from Norfolk?
Nicholas, the new Golf Club GM
What is Crispy United?
Tom discovers his Hinterland
Kathy's had enough
Kathy’s calls Martyn a Bastard

A hot ‘date’ at an artisan food exhibition

Tom and Kirsty are skiving off work to go to a foody event (trade only).

It’s not technically a date (well, Kirsty might see it that way … Tom hasn’t realised as yet).

What was wrong with Chloe from Norfolk?

Kathy is exasperated with Martyn. Again.

He’s made the shortlist for the chef interviews, but he’s missed the one Kathy thinks is the best candidate. Chloe, from Norfolk.

[Martyn] “If she’s in Norfolk, she’s not going to want to trek over to Borsetshire for an interview.”

(Eh?)

[Martyn] “Just why are you so interested in this candidate I was beginning to wonder if she was a friend of something.”

(what?)

Anyhoo – Martyn just won’t hear of Chloe getting onto the shortlist. It was almost as if he was picking a fight …

Nicholas, the new Golf Club GM

Ah – that was one of the two Martyn had dinner with in the Gold Club the other day. Seems Nicholas is the new General, and will be ringing in the changes.

What is Crispy United?

Tom said they were wee football thingys. And egged on Kirsty to try them:

[Kirsty] “This had better not be an unpleasant experience.”

It didn’t sound too bad.

And Kirsty did agree they were indeed crispy.

What were they, though?

Tom discovers his Hinterland

There really wasn’t much to see or do at the exhibition, and with both of them not due back to work for a bit, Kirsty suggested they both go to a nature reserve.

Though Tom started to get bored, and reckoned the reserve could do with a café, he is enjoying being away from the phone and his emails:

[Tom] “It’s like you've entered another world.”

[Kirsty] “We’ve been here for nearly an hour, and you haven’t mentioned business, or sales or turnover.”

[Tom] “Phew, that’s really scary. What if I’m losing my focus. How am I going to become a global brand by the age of 35?”

(ha! Tom made a self-depreciating joke, I even laughed!)

Kirsty reckons he needs to do things like this more often. She reckons he needs to be:

[Kirsty] “Someone with a hinterland.”

[Tom] “So what am I now then, coast … oh great, all coast and no hinterland. What a thing to find out about yourself. I’ll need to go to therapy.”

[Kirsty] “All I’m saying is that you’ll be an even more intriguing person.”

Tom likes the sound of that.

Then he spots a bird, that Kirsty identifies as a Hen Harrier.

[Kirsty] “A male. You almost never see them round here.”

They’re both amazed.

Maybe Tom will take more time out, if he’s top share moments like that with Kirsty … ?

(and by-the-by, it was only 3 or 4 years ago that it was pointed out to me that they are called Hen Harriers. Not Hen Carriers, as I thought. Though I still think my version is rather cute)

Kathy’s had enough
The argument between Martyn and Kathy continued:

[Kathy] “You want me to cooperate by excluding the best candidate.”

[Martyn] “Well, if you’re not going to approach this on a rationale and pragmatic basis, I really don’t the point in you sitting in on the interviews.”

[Kathy] “I beg your pardon!”

Martyn reckons the whole team is behind him, but he only gets “resistance” from Kathy. She reckons Martyn just can’t handle someone disagreeing with him.

[Kathy] “That someone might have more knowledge of the situation than you do … This a key appointment Martyn. I’m not prepared to watch you stand by and muck it up.”

[Martyn] “I think you'll find you have very little choice in the matter.”

[Kathy] “You’re wrong. I do have a choice. I resign … I’m sick and tired of being continually undermined from someone who hasn’t the first idea how to run a catering operation.”

[Martyn] “Well, if that’s your decision Kathy.”

She reckons she won’t work her notice, as she has three weeks of leave due anyway. Martyn’s not remotely bothered – he tells her to go and clear her desk, and be out by the end of the day.

[Kathy] “With pleasure.”

Well, we can’t say we didn’t see that coming.

Though Martyn did seem very calm …

Kathy’s calls Martyn a Bastard

As Kathy walks her boxed up belongings to her car, Lee catches up with her.

(Lee is the Irish chap who was speaking the other week, but I couldn’t identify him. From what they said today, it sounds like he’s the Club Pro)

[Lee] “I’m sorry Kathy. Martyn told me.”

[Kathy] “Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.”

Lee also doesn’t agree with the changes Martyn’s been making (though is obviously not daft enough to lose his job over it).

[Lee] “Kathy ,l there’s something you ought to know, something I’m not happy about, Martyn mentioned something else as well, about Nicholas … Nicholas would soon get the place under control. He also said he was going to call Nicholas' wife and offer her your job.”

[Kathy] “I’ve been stitched up, haven’t? He’s been planning this all along. The b …”

(the remainder of that b word was drowned out by Kathy slamming her car’s boot shut)

Kathy goes to see Pat (As Kathy always does in a crisis).

[Kathy] “I’ve walked out.”

[Pat] “Oh my goodness!”

[Kathy] “He’s been mounting a deliberate campaign to get me out … I’ve resigned. It’s all over.

[Pat] “If he drove you to it, surely that’s constructive dismissal?”

But Kathy’s just glad to be gone.

[Kathy] “The only question is, what on earth am I going to do now?”

As Friday pointed out in the comments of Friday’s blog … Grey Gables?