Pontifications Ahoy!

Not-So-Super-Bowl 2013

2013-02-04T05:34:00.001-08:00

This particular rant is brought to you by the Superbowl 2013. I do not normally personalize these situations but I feel this is going to be my one big one so might as well do it right, right?

Oddly enough I am not entirely disappointed today. Somehow it feels to me IMHO (biased, maybe) that the 49ers did not even lose yesterday. They clearly played better, got more beat calls on them, and the entire thing with Ray Lewis overshadowed the clear fact that:
1) This is now the FIRST time that the 49'ers have gone to the super bowl and lost 5-1
2)Did not tie for most rings ever with Steelers
3)A rookie would have won in the Superbowl (Also never accomplished, not arguing with you about this either Pz0)

Vs

A guy retiring who albeit is (Whoops, WAS) a good player, was SUPER HYPED into this
more than the great white hype.

I suppose another reason is the murder jokes have been flowing like wine and still funny,
is easily just brushed under the carpet as this is not the first time a football star
has gotten away with murder.

In so many words.

Did we forget also that someone who is better than Ray Lewis also was retiring this year? Whoops..

But we don't see much of this guy, no big deal though, but God help me if I don't talk positive about Ray Lewis instead of 88 Gonzo.

I stand here shaking my head and grunting in the ways of Lewis Black in my utter level of confusion and discrediting of this Not-So-Super-Bowl (Sue THAT, NFL) yet still feel nothing but pure pride of my team. They are easily seen as the winners, arguing with me about this is something although inevitable by many, will happen. My only issue is I cannot force you to be right, that is what I will apologize for. Due to clear replays, the 49ers got so many soft calls on them with multiple announcements from our favorite and funniest of officials.

Thooper Bohl

There was I believe 1 penalty called on the Ravens when there were several more infractions saved for our super slo-mo pleasures and I don't need to argue with anyone. It's now a digitally documented fact of life.

Apologies in advance but this is the personal bit I felt at least I had to share as it makes me feel better and laugh.

So Frankie and dave dave were actually rooting for the Ravens last night
(If you know them, you know them, if not, we are not good enough friends yet for you to know who I'm talking about is all)
I turned off the game after the first commercial break when the locker room party started. No one really had an objection to this out of the 13 or so people I had around for the viewing party. Everyone understood my frustration and I did not hear any shit talking, and still have not since while speaking of it of this bummer of a loss.
Except Frankie.
He got butthurt because I told him I'm not watching these losers party and if he doesn't like it he can leave and take his Stanky leg RG3 back to GoodBurger with him.

he left

sorry frankie.

Homemade Hooch

2013-01-30T11:59:00.002-08:00

So today for tradition of breaking back into things I am going to show you and teach you how to make a gallon of "hard gatorade" which you will not be adding alcohol to, but you will be converting the sugars and gatorade itself INTO alcohol which can yield anywhere from 15%-20% AKA 30Proof to 40Proof.

The first step is not crucial as you can use simple tap water if you like. I will be using this gallon jug so you can see ratio I use and adjust accordingly as you like for whatever other product.

FIRST AND FOREMOST WARNING THOUGH:

DO NOT USE anything which has Sodium Benzoate or Potassium Sorbate in it. This is what is known as a dry preservative and it will kill off your yeast and not allow it to ferment at all, meaning you just wasted time and money.

As you can see I'm just using a gallon of spring water though, my personal reasoning behind this is because like with anything if you start with a good base, you will have a better resulting product in the end.

Ok heres how you can determine ANYTHING that can possibly be used to make it a "Hard" version of literally almost anything.

First check your ingredients.

Now you see on this there are no preservatives so thats half the battle. Now the other trick is you need to make sure you have enough sugars per serving in this. Typically you want MINIMUM of 20g/serving of sugars in this. Our gatorade here only has 7g/serving so that isnt enough, we will have to adjust that in a few minutes and I will show you how.

Now on the can it says to use about 1/2cup of powdered mix into it per gallon. Also notice that in my water jug I did not fill it all the way to the top. I am using about 3/4 a cup of powdered mix here so the flavor can intensify in concentration and also linger after it started becoming alcohol and a bit more bitter.

OK now the next trick is you need to have your water at least "luke warm" you can either do this by running the bottle under a warm tap for a few minutes or just leaving it out of the fridge for a while. The reason this step is important is because of a few things

A) You want the sugars to be able to melt down (I know I havent gotten there yet) and
B) Yeast loves a temperature between 67 & 78 degrees Fahrenheit in which it will yield the most life and activity.

Ok so now personally myself I try and make sure that my yeast has a banquet of sugar. So I am going to be adding about 2 cups of sugar to the gatorade mix as to push the serving amount of 7g/serving well over the 20g/serving to help the alcohol produce along the way.

(I poured about 1 & 3/4 cup sugar in. It's not an exact science, but the extra 1/4 wouldnt hurt it.

Now if you were to uncap this mixture and take a swig it would be like drinking a diabetics nightmare. It wont hurt you or anything but it has a fuckload of sugar in it. Take the next few minutes to submerge the gallon jug into some warm water or run hot water over it, just to help speed up the process of the sugar melting and combining with our mixture. You can see now why I left room at the top of the jar becfause adding in the powder mix and sugar makes the level rise and we are going to want some space for air and carbon dioxide in our container when the time comes. Trust me.

Now this next step isn't crucial, but it IS the difference between having an OK product and having an AMAZING product. First off, we all have seen this yeast, it is OK at best, if you REALLY are going to use this stuff, try and find HIGHLY ACTIVE yeast of this brand as it WILL WORK, but the normal stuff will take weeks in comparison to days and it will not taste as good.

This is the good shit you should be using. It's expensive, but WELL WORTH THE INVESTMENT. You can ebay this shit even. I paid 18 bucks for 2 large packets of this stuff and I've already made over 6 gallons in the past month and have a shit ton of this stuff left.

Double Protip. Buy a pound of no-rinse sanitizer. Much better results. Much less chemical taste chance lingering in your product. OR if you buy gallons of spring or distilled water, those things are already sterile so you dont even need to worry about sanitizing, just get a new jug next time and you are golden.

Now ladies and gentlemen, we come to the true science part of our project. Typicially I like to use between 7 and 10 grams of yeast per gallon. This is a typical rule of thumb and if you stick to this, you will almost always yield a positive result.

Personally myself I like to make a "starter" because it just basically "kickstarts" the whole fermentation process for you. What I do, take a shotglass and put some warm water in it, some of your spring water or distilled if saved, and dump your serving of yeast into the glass, and wait a few minutes. Ideally if you were to make a full starter you put it into a 12/16oz bottle and let it go for an hour, then you can put it in the fridge overnight and take it out an hour before use to let it achieve room temperature again. This is just ensuring that your yeast is alive and kicking. You DO NOT HAVE TO do this step. I just like to in order to be thorough.

This is my starter only a few minutes later and it ALREADY is kicking. This is thanks to that amazing yeast I ended up investing in. Like I said, its WORTH IT.

Ok last few steps my friends. All you need now is to pitch the yeast into the mixture. Up-end it/ shake gently for a few moments and then place it in its appropriate resting place where you can leave it undisturbed for a while. Typically a few days to a few weeks depending on strength you want and type of yeast you have used. Invest in an AIRLOCK. JUST DO IT! If you don't have an airlock you CAN use a condom but I REALLY DON"T RECOMMEND THIS. Those chemicals and flavors. I know personally I don't want that in my drink, but in a pinch you can add it to the top and poke a pin hole in it so CO2 may escape and oxygen doesn't get into your mix.

Once you have added the airlock all you have to do is keep an eye on it making sure that nothign overflows (which it wont if you left the appropriate space when we started) The yeast I added in produces about 14% in 2 days and 20% in 5 days. That means by the time the superbowl comes around everyone can be fucked up on hard tea and gatorade. It cost me in total for supplies used per project under 5 dollars a gallon.

Hack Your Life (IRL Protips & Cheats)

2012-07-26T06:13:00.002-07:00

I have stumbled across some very interesting information over the years I've spent lurking through the internet and out there in the great blue yonder and some neat things have come to pass. I couldn't have made this article possible though without a good amount of submissions and ideas from the /b/ros but unfortunately I'll never be able to thank them enough because of reasons that you either know, or you don't know. Simple things even that could improve our daily life by simplicity in design or a stroke of genius by a small change or way of approaching things.

I am also in the midst with a few new random friends in creating a "cookbook" if you would and here is our open page to link to it. http://titanpad.com/h4kbpfgHgp We are making The Anon Cookbook basically, if you know what that is good. If you do not I am not going to answer any questions about it. You'll have to learn elsewhere.

I hope you enjoy some of the things I am about to share with you and possible optimize your lifes' potential from this yourself. This will not be presented in any order, its more of a wildcard situation where you can find anything from a few motivational tips to some simple recipes to unwritten rules. You will just have to click and scroll and see which you like the best and feel free to share with the rest of the world what you find here. So now without any further delay, let's get this show on the road.

I would like to start with a few lists just to get the energy flowing.

First just a look into ourselves and daily life.

Shit just got real.

Even if you suck, at least you are trying.

Alright so you hate to fuckin' draw, HERE.

Remember to open your eyes to the world around you. Pay attention to details & even though it sounds trite you will thank me one day for not just being an oblivious asshole like so many others out there.

All In All Is All We Are

Ok well how about some fun & neat information instead.

We'll start off with just a simple text based nugget of random informational goodies.

Who's Hungry? I have a shitload of weird combos & recipes and this is most of them I have available from my collection. I tried to keep most of these together but whatever if I missed one I'll just add it when I find it and you will enjoy it. So I know there is alot of food stuff up here, and there is plenty of other stuff so just keep reading if you hate food. Or you can fuck off and not enjoy it. Whatever.

Mother Of God...

Other end of the food spectrum that will not murder you in your sleep.

Bacon. Fucking. Turtle. Burgers.

Dessert for some delicious soft bake cookies. MMMMMM BITCH!
What would Samuel Say?

(Due to the nature of certain things, I cannot condone doing everything stated in this blog)
*Legal mumbo jumbo because my ex is a tramp*

~Alternatives~

Personally I own a Mr. Beer kit, I know I know, it's not nearly as hardcore as the real stills but I made my own beer, have you? Carry on and enjoy this.

****This could be dangerous if you are fucking around so if you really are going to make your own beer, BE VERY CAREFUL****

Special Section for Ladies: Pay attention to this one. Not all of you are this way but be wary of the ones who are.

So you think you can dance eh?

(I don't even like 9gag but what the hell.)

*Informational Purposes section - Legal MumboJumbo Again - Blah Blah Blah*

Sweet Ninja Defenses

For all intensive purposes NO ONE should ever have this..

*DONT DO THIS* I don't even know where one of you nutters would GET C4 in the first place*

Take a lesson whiteknights, just because you say what you THINK they want to hear; That does NOT constitute saying these things because you end up looking like a pussy, even if you are right.

**DO NOT MAKE THIS**

Medium Rare to Medium is the absolute absolution of perfection and I don't care what you think.

So much Kickass I can't even tolerate it.

I myself am unaware of how to construct something like this, but it would be an epic creation.

The man has invaded your home & is gassing you. WHAT DO YOU DO?

HOME DEFENSE 101: CHEAPASS SHOTGUN *I do not condone anyone making this*

*Do not make this* You'd have to be some kind of scientist like in Breaking Bad anyone.

*Mac is the only one who would be proud, unless you used it for fireworks, then it would kick ass.

Back to the food again for another swing this time we go right for Wendy herself.

Build your own motha-fuckin air conditioner & have your beer nearby! FTW.

Use this key to find out exactly where you'd like to gun for sitting on your next flight.

COUNT BINARY ON YOUR FINGERS... IMPRESSIVE.

YOU = LEGEND

QUICK METHOD TO CONSTRUCTING YOUR OWN NINJA MASK FROM A T-SHIRT

PETROL COKE CAN STOVE.. HEATING UP!

Alternate PBR version.

BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW

FUCK THE WEATHER CHANNEL

PUR filter. Nature Style.

Version 2

HOOCH!!! 2 Versions

Survival Guide Rescue Signals? YUP

SURVIVAL RADIO

KNOW THY ENEMY

NICE

*INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY, DO NOT MAKE*

*DO NOT MAKE*

*I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY DON'T DO THIS, BUT DON'T DO THIS.*

*CLASSIC*

CIGARETTE FUSES ARE THE BOMB...

Have fun making this cat scratch pad. You will thank me later.

Baby Security and Nourishment

*Please don't be stupid and think this is serious. EX*

Word.

Prankhacks for dicks.

Some fun common sense

Don't even lie to me and tell me you would never play this.

Common Sense

Common S

The Russian Sleep Experiment Orange Soda

2012-05-22T18:41:00.002-07:00

The first time I read this story, I could never forget it. Now I try and shared it with you, welcoming myself back into the blogging world one lie at a time. Just your own mind. It begins now..............................

After Tits.................................................................................................................

Ok now........

Russian researchers in the late 1940's kept five people awake for fifteen days using an experimental gas based stimulant. They were kept in a sealed environment to carefully monitor their oxygen intake so the gas didn't kill them, since it was toxic in high concentrations. This was before closed circuit cameras so they had only microphones and 5 inch thick glass porthole sized windows into the chamber to monitor them. The chamber was stocked with books, cots to sleep on but no bedding, running water and toilet, and enough dried food to last all five for over a month.

The test subjects were political prisoners deemed enemies of the state during world war II.

Everything was fine for the first 5 days, the subjects hardly complained having been promised (falsely) that they would be freed if they submitted to the test and did not sleep for 30 days. Their conversations and activities were monitored and it was noted that they continued to talk about increasingly traumatic incidents in their past, and the general tone of their conversations took on a darker aspect after the 4 day mark.

After five days they started to complain about the circumstances and events that lead them to where they were and started to demonstrate severe paranoia. They stopped talking to each other and began alternately whispering to the microphones and one way mirrored portholes. Oddly they all seemed to think they could win the trust of the experimenters by turning over their comrades, the other subjects in captivity with them. At first the researchers suspected this was an effect of the gas itself...

After nine days the first of them started screaming. He ran the length of the chamber repeatedly yelling at the top of his lungs for 3 hours straight, he continued attempting to scream but was only able to produce occasional squeaks. The researchers postulated that he had physically torn his vocal cords. The most surprising thing about this behavior is how the other captives reacted to it... or rather didn't react to it. They continued whispering to the microphones until the second of the captives started to scream. The 2 non screaming captives took the books apart, smeared page after page with their own feces and pasted them calmly over the glass portholes. The screaming promptly stopped.

So did the whispering to the microphones.

After 3 more days passed. The researchers checked the microphones hourly to make sure they were working, since they thought it impossible that no sound could be coming with 5 people inside. The oxygen consumption in the chamber indicated that all 5 must still be alive. In fact it was the amount of oxygen 5 people would consume at a very heavy level of strenuous exercise. On the morning of the 14th day the researchers did something they said they would not do to get a reaction from the captives, they used the intercom inside the chamber, hoping to provoke any response from the captives they were afraid were either dead or vegetables.

They announced: "We are opening the chamber to test the microphones step away from the doors and lie flat on the floor or you will be shot. Compliance will earn one of you your immediate freedom."

To their surprise they heard a single phrase in a calm voice response: "We no longer want to be freed."

Debate broke out among the researchers and the military forces funding the research. Unable to provoke any more response using the intercom it was finally decided to open the chamber at midnight on the fifteenth day.

The chamber was flushed of the stimulant gas and filled with fresh air and immediately voices from the microphones began to object. 3 different voices began begging, as if pleading for the life of loved ones to turn the gas back on. The chamber was opened and soldiers sent in to retrieve the test subjects. They began to scream louder than ever, and so did the soldiers when they saw what was inside. Four of the five subjects were still alive, although no one could rightly call the state that any of them in 'life.'

The food rations past day 5 had not been so much as touched. There were chunks of meat from the dead test subject's thighs and chest stuffed into the drain in the center of the chamber, blocking the drain and allowing 4 inches of water to accumulate on the floor. Precisely how much of the water on the floor was actually blood was never determined. All four 'surviving' test subjects also had large portions of muscle and skin torn away from their bodies. The destruction of flesh and exposed bone on their finger tips indicated that the wounds were inflicted by hand, not with teeth as the researchers initially thought. Closer examination of the position and angles of the wounds indicated that most if not all of them were self-inflicted.

The abdominal organs below the ribcage of all four test subjects had been removed. While the heart, lungs and diaphragm remained in place, the skin and most of the muscles attached to the ribs had been ripped off, exposing the lungs through the ribcage. All the blood vessels and organs remained intact, they had just been taken out and laid on the floor, fanning out around the eviscerated but still living bodies of the subjects. The digestive tract of all four could be seen to be working, digesting food. It quickly became apparent that what they were digesting was their own flesh that they had ripped off and eaten over the course of days.

Most of the soldiers were Russian special operatives at the facility, but still many refused to return to the chamber to remove the test subjects. They continued to scream to be left in the chamber and alternately begged and demanded that the gas be turned back on, lest they fall asleep...

To everyone's surprise the test subjects put up a fierce fight in the process of being removed from the chamber. One of the Russian soldiers died from having his throat ripped out, another was gravely injured by having his testicles ripped off and an artery in his leg severed by one of the subject's teeth. Another 5 of the soldiers lost their lives if you count ones that committed suicide in the weeks following the incident.

In the struggle one of the four living subjects had his spleen ruptured and he bled out almost immediately. The medical researchers attempted to sedate him but this proved impossible. He was injected with more than ten times the human dose of a morphine derivative and still fought like a cornered animal, breaking the ribs and arm of one doctor. When heart was seen to beat for a full two minutes after he had bled out to the point there was more air in his vascular system than blood. Even after it stopped he continued to scream and flail for another 3 minutes, struggling attack anyone in reach and just repeating the word "MORE" over and over, weaker and weaker, until he finally fell silent.

The surviving three test subjects were heavily restrained and moved to a medical facility, the two with intact vocal cords continuously begging for the gas demanding to be kept awake...

The most injured of the three was taken to the only surgical operating room that the facility had. In the process of preparing the subject to have his organs placed back within his body it was found that he was effectively immune to the sedative they had given him to prepare him for the surgery. He fought furiously against his restraints when the anesthetic gas was brought out to put him under. He managed to tear most of the way through a 4 inch wide leather strap on one wrist, even through the weight of a 200 pound soldier holding that wrist as well. It took only a little more anesthetic than normal to put him under, and the instant his eyelids fluttered and closed, his heart stopped. In the autopsy of the test subject that died on the operating table it was found that his blood had triple the normal level of oxygen. His muscles that were still attached to his skeleton were badly torn and he had broken 9 bones in his struggle to not be subdued. Most of them were from the force his own muscles had exerted on them.

The second survivor had been the first of the group of five to start screaming. His vocal cords destroyed he was unable to beg or object to surgery, and he only reacted by shaking his head violently in disapproval when the anesthetic gas was brought near him. He shook his head yes when someone suggested, reluctantly, they try the surgery without anesthetic, and did not react for the entire 6 hour procedure of replacing his abdominal organs and attempting to cover them with what remained of his skin. The surgeon presiding stated repeatedly that it should be medically possible for the patient to still be alive. One terrified nurse assisting the surgery stated that she had seen the patients mouth curl into a smile several times, whenever his eyes met hers.

When the surgery ended the subject looked at the surgeon and began to wheeze loudly, attempting to talk while struggling. Assuming this must be something of drastic importance the surgeon had a pen and pad fetched so the patient could write his message. It was simple "Keep cutting."

The other two test subjects were given the same surgery, both without anesthetic as well. Although they had to be injected with a paralytic for the duration of the operation. The surgeon found it impossible to perform the operation while the patients laughed continuously. Once paralyzed the subjects could only follow the attending researchers with their eyes. The paralytic cleared their system in an abnormally short period of time and they were soon trying to escape their bonds. The moment they could speak they were again asking for the stimulant gas. The researchers tried asking why they had injured themselves, why they had ripped out their own guts and why they wanted to be given the gas again.

Only one response was given: "I must remain awake."

All three subject's restraints were reinforced and they were placed back into the chamber awaiting determination as to what should be done with them. The researchers, facing the wrath of their military 'benefactors' for having failed the stated goals of their project considered euthanizing the surviving subjects. The commanding officer, an ex-KGB instead saw potential, and wanted to see what would happen if they were put back on the gas. The researchers strongly objected, but were overruled.

In preparation for being sealed in the chamber again the subjects were connected to an EEG monitor and had their restraints padded for long term confinement. To everyone's surprise all three stopped struggling the moment it was let slip that they were going back on the gas. It was obvious that at this point all three were putting up a great struggle to stay awake. One of subjects that could speak was humming loudly and continuously; the mute subject was straining his legs against the leather bonds with all his might, first left, then right, then left again for something to focus on. The remaining subject was holding his head off his pillow and blinking rapidly. Having been the first to be wired for EEG most of the researchers were monitoring his brain waves in surprise. They were normal most of the time but sometimes flat lined inexplicably. It looked as if he were repeatedly suffering brain death, before returning to normal. As they focused on paper scrolling out of the brainwave monitor only one nurse saw his eyes slip shut at the same moment his head hit the pillow. His brainwaves immediately changed to that of deep sleep, then flatlined for the last time as his heart simultaneously stopped.

The only remaining subject that could speak started screaming to be sealed in now. His brainwaves showed the same flatlines as one who had just died from falling asleep. The commander gave the order to seal the chamber with both subjects inside, as well as 3 researchers. One of the named three immediately drew his gun and shot the commander point blank between the eyes, then turned the gun on the mute subject and blew his brains out as well.

He pointed his gun at the remaining subject, still restrained to a bed as the remaining members of the medical and research team fled the room. "I won't be locked in here with these things! Not with you!" he screamed at the man strapped to the table. "WHAT ARE YOU?" he demanded. "I must know!"

The subject smiled.

"Have you forgotten so easily?" The subject asked. "We are you." "We are the madness that lurks within you all, begging to be free at every moment in your deepest animal mind." "We are what you hide from in your beds every night. We are what you sedate into silence and paralysis when you go to the nocturnal haven where we cannot tread."

The researcher paused. Then aimed at the subject's heart and fired.

The EEG flatlined as the subject weakly choked out "so... nearly... free...

Gamer Chicks Are Hot (And Other Gaming Banter)

2012-01-21T10:27:00.000-08:00

Well maybe aside from rocker chicks as well but if you get a combination then you really can't ask for much more. But lets stick with one topic at a time because TOMORROW I think I will get to rocker chicks then maybe on Monday we make a comparison article together. First thing is first though, onto the subject of our topic and into her native habitat.

The first thing we will try to take a look into is the REALITY vs FANTASY look of these types of girls. They DO exist which is our first great reality but there is an issue with that. Unless you personally KNOW the girl then you probably only speak to her over a gaming service such as PSN or XBL or TeamSpeak, Keystrokes, Macros, etc etc.

Some basic matters to address:

A) Are you even playing with a real girl
B) Does she have the skill she claims to have
C) Is it really that babe, or the elusive land whale

What We Hope For:

What really happens most of the time:

Buzz, your girlfriend, WOOF!

Ahh yes, facepalms for everyone.

Thanks Matt, Thanks Trey

Do you want to see my tits? 5000 gold please.

To dispel our first issue cited at A) typically I follow this rule of thumb, no one who games is a chick until proven otherwise because they belong in the kitchen and not on a console or PC of course, but we allow for the slim chance of it really being who they say they are.

I typically just see some slob who is a windowlicking basement dwelling 40 year old who enjoys ponies, pedobears and a general degenerate that plays in that fantasy world of getting some horny 14 year old with hairy knuckles in the hope of getting some side boob for running a 2 hour quest for "HER" and then somehow someway the magical vixen on the other end of the server will fall in love with them or some stupid shit whatever they think could possibly happen. So the first thing you must do is avoid all forms of contact with these kinds but HOW? Easy Answer. Never trust anyone and insult everyone no matter what.

Typical banter on a daily basis between me and a few mates, and even a few gaming chicks I hang with (yes they do exist but shut up I'm getting my points across):

Get gaped, faggot.

You completely suck at this, faggot

Suck my tiny French cock, faggot.

You should just turn the game off and kill yourself, faggot.

I donkey punched your mom, faggot.

You will notice it's very important to put in question your opponents sexuality with no prior knowledge of their existence in the world until the server got warmed up and started humming.

This is to establish dominance and let whoever is out there know who the man of the room is. It's like love potion number 9 for women, it's like a beacon and you can practically hear the sandwiches being made already.

Quest For Sandwiches


Sandwiches Provided

   Now that the women have started being weeded out from the pansies and from the losers that thought they were tough shit and now are just jerking off with their own tears, let's get down to business. Typically what you should be left with at this point is the alpha gamer chicks, which is where the good ones come out and play and hopefully stay. But there is an important fact you must know and it is absolutely essential you follow the next pieces of etiquette to stay Alpha as Fuck.

    Don't be a wanker and fall all over yourself, and DON'T expect her to magically fall in love or do anything to make yourself look more like an idiot than you already are in reality. Be cool.
    The entire point of this quest was to find the elusive gamer chick and add her to your friends list, NOT to be a fucking romeo, douchebag.
    My personal favorite type of gaming chick is as follows and I personally know about 4 or 5 off the top of my head. They actually all hold some skill even besides just the ability to clean clothes and be in a kitchen. I'll provide 3 quick references to help you keep on track and to build your online harem.

Type A: Most Common & Not Able To Kick My Ass @ Halo

This is the type that most of us will know because our buds already have brought her around to our homes / apartements / lofts / etc. She has a general knowledge of a console or two and maybe even has a few keyboard and mouse games under her belt but most likely has kept her collection to the basics of Mario, Tetris, Burnout and a handful of games on the Wii & Kinect using herself as a controller at times which can be both fun & frustrating. You have to explain what a bumper button is and teach her how to change the input on the tv to get to said gaming console after she turns it on, but she is not ready to take on FPS's.

Type B: Less Common & Typically Most Fun To Game With

This is where things start to get interesting with this type. She notices the difference between the console graphics and can tell you where the secret passages in Doom are and knows the Konami code. She knows how to sync up the controller and even has a few games of her own and possibly even a console at her place & yours. You can go questing with her or you can start a campaign and you still will generally take point because you've done this before, but you know that when it comes down to it, she can rescue you with a health pack and not let you bleed out alone & afraid.

Type C: The Most Dangerous & Insane

This is the most dangerous type known to man. She can active reload and knows every corner of a race and knows how to boost off the line and which weapon will get the most effective Kill:Death ratio. She is one of us, and that is dangerous. Not only will she be on the console when you got home from the bar with your mates, she will challenge you AND win to just about any game of your choosing and when you lose she makes YOU bring her a sandwich. I have gamed with this kind a few times before and they take it personal when they noticed you took them out in a race or you corpsehumped her earlier that week. They are great to have on your side but be careful as they are also just as easily psychotic as they are hot. I've seen what happens when girls get into games against each other when they are like this. I have even taken off my mic a few times because the screaming was just too much to bear. The best ones like this stay silent most of the time until the end of the first match. At this point they speak and the entire room explodes when they realize they all lost to a girl.


Fake: Women During This Time Had Smaller Tits, FACT.

        I have seen some shit and done some things, but keeping to my guns their are gaming girls out there, but I digress because they are still small in numbers in the first place.
        I'd say out of 100% only about 30% even game in the first place, as most girls hate video games/ they are stupid/ they don't get it/ won't waste their time, and most commonly in my opinion just plain suck at them, we get frustrated and send them back to the sandwiches and their baby making tasks they are so good at.
       PS: Don't bring your babies to game night if you have one girls, they will end up drunk and cursing off other babies online and possibly be reported for slander.

           So to this I tip my hat to you, the gamer chicks out there, as you are few and far between in the first place and we can always game together as long as my thumbs are still attached and working. Remember though the internet is a rough place for anyone, if you are TYPE C you can take care of yourself and we might get along the best because you will rip into the opponents with me and possibly have a hell of a time laughing at the discontent of all the newbs out there.
          Know this, I will not be calling you up to go out on a date. I will friend zone you because some things are worth much more than casual sex to me, and a gaming partner is up there. The other types also are incredibly fun to hang out with a spend time with, but remember to stay classy and keep the nastyness for the circle of death, the placement on the race line and banter for the microphone. So try to keep it in your pants ladies and contain your orgasms, but look me up online for the following networks:

X-Box/Windows Live: Lepreemo
PSN: Lepreemo
SteamID: unmelnkoly@hotmail.com
Starcraft: Lepreemo@hotmail.com

You know where to find me, no excuses anymore. Let's Game It On.

Until Next Time,
~Lepreemo

Uncensorship (I Give SOPA the middle finger)

2012-01-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

So being that this is a public domain NOT controlled by a giant conglomerate or anything (Google, AdSense) I have the amendment on my side in which I choose to flex my internet muscles a bit with my freedom of speech.


That's correct. Not a single fuck given.

Now some people say the internet isn't a very effective way of getting your individual voice heard, which I suppose is true in its own way because in a world of millions of digital voices, ours can get lost in the crowd very quickly and even if we do get a spotlight its not very likely that we will stay there long as internet fame has a very short shelf life before the next bit of insanity gets ejaculated into our eyes and ears. Notice how many fucks I just gave during the time I created pretty much a run-on sentence? But in the same light realize that it's not a HUGE deal but I have people in different COUNTRIES who just see my input and can share it as well as they see fit. AKA I am ALREADY heard around the world even if it is just a few paragraphs of insanity saturated aggression at a time. When was the last time your thoughts were being read by someone in Italy, Canada, US and UK all in one day? That's what I thought.

One of my biggest internet woes though is my lack of ability to pay for my asian prostitute prob.. er.. business expenses because I have not been funded yet by the millions of internet dollars out there. Trust me it's there as well, but being YouTube & Google had it out for me at one point due to a simple mistake I have been banned from using their AdSense and lost about $40 in real money thanks to my friends who follow me & new viewers/subscribers/followers every day. What is it they are trying to keep me from? Oh maybe they just need to ensure they have enough in their pockets so their grandkids families don't have to work at all because when it comes down to it; Would you even bother going to school if you were a multi-millionaire? Didn't think so.

It's ok to be a thief if you are cute enough.

SOPA has nothing to do with my personal conquest though, they are trying to keep people like you and myself, who are ultimately the nobodies, from sharing with each other without even the THOUGHT of making money off of each other. Now how fucked up is that? SOPA in case you were not aware of is the "Stop Online Piracy Act". In simple terms, they want to shut down all the free and open source programs which helps keep the internet being awesome. Why is this bad? Don't be stupid, you know damn right that copy of Nickelback you took from your girlfriends little brother should NOT be retailed at a price like $15.99, give or take a few bucks. Now a few of you are going "aww don't pick on Nickelback, they are just trying to make it too." Yea well F off Nickelback you all suck and don't deserve a record contract. The other arguement is you are STEALING from the artists, which for the most part is also completely false. Music was always free as I've seen it, you are paying for the packaging and greed. Now I myself dream one day to just make my living strumming away on my guitar and creating music, but I don't need to be a millionaire; Hell I'll take being a thousandaire.

Point being almost EVERY band who has made it big makes their shitload of money from TOURING, not from CD sales, because that's when they sell you a $40 t-shirt that fades after 3 washes but you are happy as fuck to pay for it during the time being so you can remember the show.

Elvis Costello Laughs At Piracy Warning "Not even a 14yr old would be scared of that"

Joss Stone: Piracy Is Great A musician who realizes Music is free, it's the business that's fucked up.

Bender's "Anti-Piracy" Ad Matt G. gets in on the giggles.

As I said I'm not trying to stir the pot with musicians, but moreso the marketing company and post production teams, NOT THE ACTUAL WORKERS, but the fat cats who are already lined to the brim in their pockets with blow and aids vaccinations meanwhile we the real people lose our jobs, homes, cars, etc. all to the conglomerates of this fucking country while we starve; So we share among ourselves quietly from Peer2Peer networks, such as my personal choice when it comes to sharing, uTorrent. There are also a number of sites like TORRENTZ.EU and the never dying

thepiratebay.org who is RIGHT NOW posting THIS EXACT PHOTO for their home page.

This kind of looks like I'm not alone in this arguement anymore.

I have another method as well for my primary download function, but it's a well kept secret somewhere at the end of the internet.

Now I limit myself to software. Development teams and companies have a multitude of people to a small group of programmers, depending upon situation, for their individual software and I feel they truly do deserve something for their time and effort, but in all fairness, why the fuck should I pay $750 for a console and then have to spend on average $40-$80 PER game and THEN have to pay for the online service provider (X-box Live, I'm looking at you) and other games which make you pay month to month at another cost of $10-$20/month. They fine a college kid $375,000 for sharing 30 songs but they let a murderer walk free if he has a good enough lawyer and enough fame. What the fuck is going on here?

Now I know I'm not covering all bases. I've left out the $40M/movie stars and $250K/episode stars, but that's because I don't have to and a bunch of you trollolers out there will bitch and complain some way and try and tell me I'm a moron and a thief, but you know what? A beautiful thing about the internet is the ability to just NOT READ IT THEN. Worst case scenario you actually DO get into an internet based debate or fight, what's the worst thing you are going to do, CAPS LOCK ME TO DEATH??

I guess all I am really getting at is the only people who give much of a shit about this, are the money hungry grubs that don't have enough. Did you know that Simon douchebag makes over $167,000,000 a year. A FUCKING YEAR. ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY SEVEN FUCKING MILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS by his annoying ability to insult people and seem like hes so fan-fucking-tastic. I've never even heard of that douchebag before that crappy Idol show, and I don't care if you have either, hes a NOBODY. Then the mobs come and say, if he's such a nobody then why is he so rich? Because he knew another fucking nobody that gave him a break and now you people keep feeding him more and more by watching that trash. Only good thing I've EVER seen with that bag of vinegar douche involved with is when an

ACCIDENT happened.

Personally I will probably never being rich and/or famous and I'm ok with that.

I play my music I wrote without censorship and I play with pure passion.

I play my games with my other broke ass friends that I share the pirated games and apps with and we all have fun.

I watch my movies on Netflix or ones I download because I'm not going to be fed the crap you try and put in front of me on tv, but there ARE good shows on if you can find them.(Fuck Yea Forensic Files, Go Die Jersey Shore. I am also from Ocean County NJ, we are not like those people. None of them even live here.)

I have the freedom to post WHATEVER I want on here, within reason. (I only say within reason because Child Pornography is illegal in the country, and I agree 100% because that's just wrong, rage on Pedobears and people who's name rhymes with Bitch Comer and Kelly Barsley)

This is not a child.

And neither is this..

I choose not to seed my torrents (because that is my right) and SOPA can never take my rights.

I'm not telling you to agree with me.

I'm not telling you to share this with your friends or family.

I'm not telling you that it's all going to be alright.

I'm not telling you the lies the rest of them do.

I am telling you to think for yourself.

I am telling you to take a stand for your own beliefs.

I am telling you that no matter what they lose, they can't take what you are.

I am telling you to not let them dull your senses and dilute your mind.

I am telling you it's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for what you are not.
(I stole that last one from a dead guy, Kurt Cobain, maybe you've heard of him)

~Lepreemo

Ahoy There Old Video Game Junkie! (I'm Your New Best Friend)

2012-01-11T15:33:00.000-08:00

Hey anyone like old video games? for like, free? What about if it was all the old DosBox games available? No config needed. Some guy named D-Fend (I'm still skeptical if that is his real name btw) has created a Utopia for the 80's and 90's kids like us. So let's take this one step at a time because you are slow in the head.

Click ME ASSBUTT!!< See that?

DejaVu

Nostalgia FTW. Download it assclown.

You extract it to where you want games installed in its own directory.

Open it then stupid. Hit the (+) add button.

Click download packages. Still with me moron? Good for you.

Now scroll through the games and check the box of the one you want.

Holy fucking asscrackers? Do you see what I see? FUCK YEA YOU DO!

Hit download & Install. I know that was tough jellybuns but you are almost there because this next part is really tough.

Wait and do nothing as it downloads... Wow. Now when you are done stupid all you have to do is simply wait for the download screen to close. Because, MOTHA FUCKIN MAGIC HAPPENS! All you need to do is close your download window and there is something on the main screen you wont FUCKIN BELIEVE!

Now take your nubby little fingers around your mouse and move the cursor over the "RUN" button. I know, take your time.

THERE IT IS JUST LIKE HE SAID!!!

I don't crop things.

Because you shouldn't need this in the first place, Stupid.

Congratulations genius, you're an idiot. Now get out of my face and don't say I never did anything for you.

~Lepreemo

Testing HTML (Not My Real Post For The Day)

2011-12-28T10:34:00.000-08:00

Video Games (Best And Coolest Way To Not Get Laid)

2011-12-27T12:54:00.000-08:00

I personally do not give a damn, I will die playing my games because people come and go. Your family members are going to die, your girlfriend (boyfriend in rare cases) will leave you because of your addiction; You will fail out of school and possibly lose your job but you know who will always be there?

Video God Damn Games.

In my own world I have grown up with these little bits of electronic joy because think about it, what do you always fall back to when the going gets tough. Stuck in a boring lecture about when Einstein buttfucked some relativity into our life? Or how about 1 if by land and 2 if by sea or some shit like that? What about that ever so ball-rattling lesson of photosynthesis when we were in 5th grade? Whip this bitch out and call it good.


PS; I OWN GB printer still, don't make me prove it.

So yea you got through your adolescence this way, but guess what else came out along the way which kicked major ass? FUCKIN A RIGHT! MULTIPLAYER! KICK EVERYONES' ASS! Now you didn't have to be alone on your quests for glory because of that 2nd controller or that system link option. I don't know about you but anyone else in here X-Link KAI back in the day to spoof an IP connection to XBL so I could play Halo with my homies and hump the shit out of them upon their demise. In the case you are not quite sure what a "corpsehump" is I have included this example both visually and .... (what's a clever word for reading.... readily?? wtf why not?) available for you. BTW this is also very much so referred to as Tea Bagging. Typically it's supposed to be when you are getting some dome from a pretty girl but let's be honest, you aren't getting any of that here.

Then as the years passed by I became even more savvy with how to get my game on ranging from servers through emulator programs with hundreds of roms that we can effortlessly play now on our phones, computers, and gaming consoles with the proper persuasion. The trick is though, some of even the oldest games still have secrets that we have not found. Like a 26 year old Easter Egg that was unearthed recently in a Donkey Kong game for the Atari. Maybe also how the new Batman Arkham City game was earlier revealed in Arkham Asylum as an "Easter Egg". If I got started on Easter Eggs though we will be here for far, far too long, but just know that some vary from a simple "you found a secret" message to "here have this weapon to blow the balls off your enemy from 3,000 miles away" I personally enjoy the latter of the two, but in this day and age, I am not selfish nor picky.

I have a lot more I'd like to say about this subject, so I will, but not today. I am going to come back to this subject constantly over time because there is SO MUCH to discuss about gaming. Yea you probably won't be the most popular with the opposite sex (unless of course you are a girl and then every techno-nerd will be splooging themselves and tripping over their own feet to get to know you or run that pesky quest for you so you don't have to. Perfect examples come from a series known as "THE GUILD" which you should look up sometime as well. I personally KNOW what a female vagina looks and feels like but don't fret, I did not always, and that nerd part of me shall never die most likely. Keep on gaming folks, and remember to keep that save file updating because nothing worse than advancing towards the end of Metroid and forgetting to write down your pass word or advancing in Punch out or FINALLY making it to FRIDAY in paperboy. Good Luck fuckers, you are going to need it, also so you know an upcoming blog will be comparing older games to newer games. Now here is some Metroid codes because I feel like it:

Get EVERYTHING code: NARPAS SWORD0 0000_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ as a password. Note: "_" indicates a space

Status	Password
Slightly powered in Brinstar	007ltp W20000 025kHa 8A00?Y
Ridley	00U--- -u0000 0AFw9Y 1800sb
Ready for Kraid	0Gz--- -m3e0G 00VvjS 3m00n?
Tourian	M7---- --zOA0 2T-tfm a000d5 atop
In suit, end game	uVt-Fg boo-W7 9t?lM0 O00Gsi
No suit, end game, best ending	X----- --N?WO dV-Gm9 W01GMI
Play as the girl with all the arsenal weapons	mMuiS1 II6-GE Jls?h0 m00WRM
Weird Code; Freeze, Varia, No bombs, odd ending	Daniel Daniel Daniel Daniel
Brinstar with 10 missiles, 1 Energy Tank,and Long Wave Beam	018000 020000 04GA00 0000Xg
215 missiles, 5 Energy Tanks, all power-ups, both mini-Bosses defeated	X-z-uJ lls0W0
Ready for Mother Brain	2m-m?S 7p?20G 00lxYi 3W00nu
At Mother Brain's Lair, most power-ups	M7?7pW ?VmGA0 2T-JNm U000cD
Second quest	022400 A00000 05?00m 0000aS
Second quest at Ridley	a0-AAA AAA820 9HTEYD B990hu
Second quest at Norfair	81?KKK KKKG40 IAwTNA KIIGc9
Second quest as Samus without suit	0WX002 W00004 1VW0C0 0000MO
All Energy Tanks empty, Wave Beam, no Varia, no bombs, start in Tourian	THISPW-ACTUAL-LYDOES-SMTH1n
Unlimited rockets and energy, all power-ups except the Wave beam	narpassword0000000000000

This Week Does Not Exist. (Trust Me)

2011-12-26T12:10:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about this yesterday discussing Holiday times and such with a friend Stephanie and it hit me. Aside from the excited feeling of returning that crappy sweater, or the video game EXPANSION your girlfriend got you when you need the original copy of the game first to play, or maybe you just aren't that interested in that gift certificate for 2 weeks free at the B&N book club, there is not a whole lot we like to do so we erase our plans and our minds for the week because EVERYONE wants to celebrate New Years but NO ONE likes this week. Allow me to explain & it will unfold eventually.

Don't know if animation will work, giving it a shot.

    So you think ok well it's the 26th, some of us have work, some of us do not. We shall start with the first option. If you have work, not ANY part of you even wants to be there. Not even a little. So you throw your brain into auto-pilot and just get through the day. So you get home, eat some of the left overs, play with your new toys you actually like and call it good for the day.

I'll note here, I DO NOT Own Skyrim unlike every other 20something year old

   Now if you are NOT employed here are your options, continue to get drunk off holiday cheer OR keep playing with your new holiday toys waiting for whomever it is that actually has a job to come back around or for your friends to get off work and you can all share tales of Santa and wonderment.


              Ok so we've made it now into the 27th, but aww shit, bet you forgot about those crappy gifts you didn't like at all huh? Well it's time to TURN THOSE MOTHA FUCKAS INTO PROFIT, or KICKASS TOYS that you DID want. FUCK YEA!! MAYBE EVEN SOME MOTHA FUCKIN BEER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZmDWltBziM This link involves singing about beer. Enjoy.

              At this point I think you can see where I'm going. So we either decide to run the gauntlet and return the gifts or send out the appropriate amazon.com return forms and await the magic of turnaround time. But at this point what have we really accomplished here? NOTHING, THAT'S WHAT. Ok so were at the 28th, but by now, you are cranky, because you DO NOT feel like waiting for another Holiday at this point. Trudge through that shit until the 30th and guess what you've done the past 3 days.
              You have either:
A)Planned for a New Years Party the past few days
B)Been drunk and playing with your toys on Holiday Vacation
C)Working and pissed because it's not New Years Yet and you want that extra day off.

This year is a special year though because it NYEve will be on a Saturday and NYDay will be on Sunday, and you know what happens on Sunday don't you? FUCK YEA YOU DO..

FOOTBALL!!!


Yes, I really do like the 49'ers. Have for years.

So it is with great pleasure and hopefully a very high BAC that I wish you a remainder of this year you won't even remember, to a Football filled New Years. I'll leave you with one last bit of food for thought. When was the last time you even remembered ANYTHING about the week between Christmas & New Years?...

I'll wait...

Yea...

That's What I Thought.

~Lepreemo

Santa's Sack (A Big Load Of Holiday Cheer In Your Face)

2011-12-25T10:19:00.000-08:00

So I've seen alot of episodes, movies, stories, pictures of a certain holiday you may recognize, that being Christmas. There has been one particular ad/bump that has made me sad about Christmas and I never saw it coming. The Adult Swim team has successfully broken my spirit in a small way. It involved a talking hand puppet Christmas Tree, casually discussing his demise over the next few weeks.

Not only did I find out about 40% of the trees making it into homes, this ended up sparking a memory of a tale of when the trees were finally pushed too far. So it is with that I present you with a soon to be Holiday Classic, guaranteed, for our generation and more to come soon after which we bring into the world.
But one other bump they did also broke through in which an older gent. took a moment staring into his soul as the thinker does, donned his glasses, grabbed his phone, and began to dial. True meaning of the holiday? Always stay in touch with the ones you care about, even at this time, my best friend is calling me sending wishes, oddly timed enough as it is. We are not all friends, we are not all family, but we are still all people, still humans, we still mean someone or something to somewhere.

I know what I would wish for on Christmas, but this is not something I personally wish to blog about, the holidays are made for each other, so we keep it that way. Have a day to smile about. Now enjoy the film I had earlier mentioned, it is NSFW, blood, violence, I BELIEVE a touch of bad language, but seriously, It's a good'n. That and check out SANTA'S SLAY today, you will be laughing so hard you will throw up your dinner. My apologies for the lack of embedding,

I just started this blog yesterday, need to brush up my HTML, but I promise I'll work on it, after Christmas, maybe it will even be my New Year's Resolution.

TREEVENGE : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vaiv7kAXBzM

You don't know what the fuck you are getting into.

Please enjoy this lovely short film on your friend on Christmas, and to all a good night.

~Lepreemo

One Blog To Rule Them All (Come at me Bro Jackson)

2011-12-24T10:39:00.000-08:00

Now I give this my attempt on the other side of the virtual spectrum instead of the random videos I also will begin documenting my antics this way as well, hopefully getting things seen/read/heard/etc through even more networking than before. It's Christmas Eve, yet somehow I do not really care or feel excited about it. I did no shopping and expect nothing from anyone either. The only thing I would want is a job that I actually love rather than just rue and lament. Out of a few jobs I think some of my favorites are still in Guitar making from scratch, official critic/review staff of youtube or google, computer technician (not the $10/hr techs, but the $64/hr techs), video game testing/debugging (yes I still like the idea of this job just as I always said I would, so there), Bartender, musician. Ideally this would happen at the start of the new year so this piece of crap year can just go away and be buried and forgotten, but that will just have to wait & see. I think this is going to do it for now, I'm going to go look around for little kids with hopes of BB guns and go rob their houses... Wait, I already have several airsoft guns, screw those dumb kids, stay off my lawn or I'll pop you with one, punks. (shakes fist until it slows to non movement & slowly doze off). More to come probably every day, I've gotta do SOMETHING productive for once, right?

http://www.youtube.com/lepreemo
~My web based visual shenanigans.

Pontifications Ahoy!

Top Ten Nintendo Video Games That Should & Should NEVER Become A Movie

Not-So-Super-Bowl 2013

Homemade Hooch

Hack Your Life (IRL Protips & Cheats)

The Russian Sleep Experiment Orange Soda

Gamer Chicks Are Hot (And Other Gaming Banter)

Uncensorship (I Give SOPA the middle finger)

Ahoy There Old Video Game Junkie! (I'm Your New Best Friend)

Testing HTML (Not My Real Post For The Day)

Video Games (Best And Coolest Way To Not Get Laid)

This Week Does Not Exist. (Trust Me)

Santa's Sack (A Big Load Of Holiday Cheer In Your Face)

One Blog To Rule Them All (Come at me Bro Jackson)