Pop Culture Vomit Bag!

Alien from L.A. (1988)

2012-01-30T22:03:00.000-06:00

Alien from L.A.? That's kinda redundant, isn't it? --TV's Frank I would like to know how 1980's culture has suddenly become popular again. Yes, it sounds weird, me cursing the decade in which I was born, but I have lived through most of the 80's, and let's face it, a lot of the stuff that came from that period in time has not aged well. Feathered hair, New Kids on the Block, Jem and the

Censorship Makes Me Vomit

2012-01-18T12:31:00.000-06:00

Two bills are in Congress right now - the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and the Protect IP Act (PIPA) - which could change the entire foundation of the Internet forever. While their sponsors' hearts are in the right place - piracy is bad and copyright protection is good - their ways to go about it are a tad Draconian. These bills would have the U.S. Government hold Website services owners liable

Status Report

2011-12-30T12:05:00.000-06:00

Apologies for the lack of updates in December. I did have a movie in mind for Christmas, but it was checked out of the library all last month and I couldn't get it in time to review it. Trust me to rent a Christmas movie when everyone else is renting Christmas movies. On top of that, it's been a very hectic second half of 2011 for me--family trips on Thanksgiving AND Christmas, relatives coming

The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence (1975)

2011-11-30T09:55:00.000-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the end of sex and violence on television! Who doesn't love The Muppet Show? Debuted in 1976, ran in prime time syndication, five seasons, 120 episodes, survived the downfall of the variety show craze, celebrated as one of the greatest televisual achievements of the modern era, spun off a number of movies and specials and series and everything. Don't deny it.

Road House (1989)

2011-11-05T20:35:00.000-05:00

People who want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse. And we've got entirely too many troublemakers here. Too many 40-year-old adolescents, felons, powerdrinkers and trustees in modern chemistry. That's going to change. If you don't know who this guy is, either you don't deserve to be called an 80s man, or you probably weren't one. Some know him as one of the Wolverines from

Carrie (1976)

2011-10-31T18:26:00.000-05:00

Everybody's guessed That baby can't be blessed 'Til she finally sees that she's like all the rest. --one of Carrie's poems from the book Does just walking through it make you want to kill yourself? Then it's a high school! --Crow T. Robot Wow, Halloween again already? Guess I should do another scary movie. But which one? There's so many to choose from! And those are just the ones in the

Yellow Submarine (1968)

2011-10-18T23:34:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time...or maybe twice...there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland. Eighty thousand leagues beneath the sea it lay...or lie. I'm not too sure. From the Cavern Club in Liverpool in 1963 would emerge a quartet which would forever change the face of popular music. What could be said about the Beatles that hasn't already been said millions of times by millions of people in the

Return to Oz (1985)

2011-09-23T02:23:00.000-05:00

I DO believe in spooks, I DO believe in spooks, I do I do I do I DO believe in spooks, I DO believe in spooks, I do I do I do I DO!! --The Cowardly Lion Oh, do we have a history with The Wizard of Oz. We Kansans have heard all the jokes. "Hey, Dorothy, where's Toto?" "Say hi to the munchkins for me!" We've seen the souvenirs in gift shops all over the state with these characters on them.

Volcano (1997)

2011-07-08T12:30:00.002-05:00

I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it. --Roger Ebert on reviewing the 1994 family film North, which was HIS by the sound of it Everybody has

Tron (1982)

2011-06-20T23:59:00.033-05:00

I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them. --Isaac Asimov Over the years, Disney and I have had sort of a...love-hate relationship. I don't care for their whole "family values" image that comes out in every show and movie they put out. And yet, I cannot deny that I did grow up with a lot of Disney shows and movies back when I was too young to know better. I, like others, have grown up with

Death Race 2000 (1975)

2011-05-06T01:18:00.002-05:00

In the year 2000, hit-and-run driving is no longer a crime. It's the NATIONAL SPORT! In 1971, Brock Yates, editor of Car and Driver magazine, established the first coast-to-coast drag race: the Cannonball Baker Sea-To-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash, also known as the Cannonball Run. This race, named for record-setting driver Erwin George "Cannonball" Baker who once drove from New York City

"Electra Woman and Dyna Girl" (1976)

2011-04-16T00:49:00.007-05:00

The one thing you couldn't possibly have in your utility belt, Batman...a woman's intuition. --Yvonne Craig as Batgirl Few shows on television are stranger than those on the resumes of Sid and Marty Krofft. Back in the 70s, these two brothers were the kings of schlocky television. Their first major TV job was designing the sets and the puppets for the live-action segments of Hanna-Barbera's

33 1/3 Revolutions Per Monkee (1969)

2011-03-22T20:00:00.007-05:00

We have the knowledge—evil though it be— To twist the mind to any lunacy We wish. Through this Electro-Thought Machine, I’ll demonstrate exactly what I mean. We’ll take the means of mass communication, Use them for commercial exploitation, Create the new four-part phenomena: Four simple minds with talent (little or none), And through the latest fad of rock and roll, Conduct experiments in mind

Head (1968)

2011-03-11T23:43:00.006-06:00

What is HEAD all about? Only John Brockman's shrink knows for sure! When England gave us the Beatles, NBC responded with a sitcom. The Monkees made its TV debut in September of 1966 and introduced America to a Pre-Fab Four--Micky Dolenz, Davy Jones, Michael Nesmith and Peter Tork, four up-and-coming musicians who ran around everywhere and got into crazy 1960s sitcommy situations. It

First Blood (1982)

2011-02-22T13:31:00.003-06:00

NOTHING IS OVER! NOTHING! You just don't turn it off! It wasn't MY war! You asked ME, I didn't ask YOU! And I did what I had to do to WIN! But somebody wouldn't let us win! And I come back to the world and I see all those maggots at the airport, protesting me, spitting, calling me "baby-killer" and all kinds of vile crap! Who are THEY to protest me! Who are THEY! Unless they've been me and been

Braindead (a.k.a. Dead Alive) (1992)

2011-01-17T23:58:00.001-06:00

Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys. The natives use them in black magic rituals. Don't ask me how, probably suck the blood of virgins, eh, eh? Peter Jackson. You know him as the director of the Lord of the Rings movies (plus the upcoming prequel), as well as the 2005 remake of King Kong with Jack Black, all of which won

A Muppet Family Christmas (1987)

2010-12-25T15:15:00.004-06:00

Well, they certainly seem to be having a good time out there, Sprocket. Yep, I like it when they have a good time. But tell you what, somebody'll have to do something about these dishes, Sprocket. C'mon. I'll wash, you dry, okay? --for me to know and you to find out ...What?What are you doing here? I've got people coming over today! It's Christmas!Oh, right! One more Christmas review! Okay, this

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

2010-12-22T17:10:00.003-06:00

"...And Mrs. Santa Claus has positively identified the kidnappers as Martians. Never in the history of mankind have the nations of the world reacted with such unanimity and cooperation. Tonight, the lights will burn until dawn in the United Nations building as the leaders of the world map a course of action." I was going to think up a nice introduction for this review, but then I remembered that

Santa Claus (1959)

2010-12-19T13:00:00.159-06:00

Be off, my reindeer, and fly through the heavens as fast as you can go! May my palace of gold and crystal enjoy peace, and Jesus, the son of God, join us on Earth so that we can all have joy and good will! --English-dubbed Mexican Santa Claus When Santa laughs, the whole world shakes its head. --Crow T. Robot Quick quiz - what's the worst Christmas movie you've ever seen? How many of you

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

2010-12-16T11:00:00.104-06:00

Thought you might like this. It's a...well, it's kind of hard to explain...it's a...WOW! You know what I mean? Happy Life Day. And I do mean happy Life Day. --Saun Dann, prior to...oh, you'll find out I know what you're thinking. "Ho hum, another review of The Star Wars Holiday Special is up on the Internet, as if there's still a handful of sci-fi geeks out there who haven't already seen

Enter the Dragon (1973)

2010-12-09T17:11:00.003-06:00

Don't think! FEEL. It is like a finger pointing away to the moon. Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory. Everybody talks about how great Chuck Norris is.Chuck Norris isn't so great.He never had his picture on a bubblegum card, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubblegum card? How can you say someone is great if he hasn't had his picture on a bubblegum

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

2010-10-31T18:38:00.008-05:00

A mental mindf*** can be nice. --Dr. Frank-N-Furter I love October. I don't know what it is about it, but it has come to be one of my favorite months of the year. Maybe because you know it's officially fall, but it isn't too cold outside to actually enjoy it. Maybe because by the time it rolls around, football season is in full swing, and basketball season's not too far away.But I think that a

Rollerball (1975)

2010-10-18T12:08:00.005-05:00

In the not-too-distant future, wars will no longer exist.There will only be Rollerball. Players divide into two teams of ten, seven on roller skates and three on motorcycles.A steel ball is fired into the arena which one player of either team must catch with a mitt.The object of the game is to place that ball into the opposing team's goal, while that team tries to trip you up and run you down to

"The Super Globetrotters" (1979)

2010-10-01T17:09:00.007-05:00

"It was always our plan to trail at the half, thus deepening Earth's eventual humiliation. Also...what game were the refs watching?" Return with me now to the Dark Ages of these modern times, when the infant children of cavemen more than ten years their senior were all grown up, when beloved icons from days past were reduced to traveling the world doling out PSAs, when everyone solved mysteries

Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown (and Don't Come Back!!) (1980)

2010-09-07T23:38:00.005-05:00

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper. Billy Wilder I.LOVE.PEANUTS.If there is anything I will admit to being a die-hard fan of, other than Monty Python, it is Peanuts. The books were among the first things I ever read as a kid, and I still love them even today as a cynical adult. On the surface it’s a comic strip about a bunch of kids