BASEBALL 

— PITCHERS —
SP – Steve Nebraska (The Scout) – Yes, he’s a “head case” but his greatest single game pitching appearance of all time is indisputable.
SP – Billy Chapel (For the Love of the Game) – Long, distinguished career with Detroit and capped it off with a perfect game.
SP – Ebby Calvin “Nuke” Laloosh (Bull Durham) – Had a million-dollar arm from the get-go and developed into a poised, pro career.
SP – Eddie Harris (Major League) – A Gaylord Perry type who had a long career and a mean spitball. 
SP – Henry Wiggen (Bang the Drum Slowly) – One of the greats from the 1960s and was the #1 pitcher on a Series-winning team.
RP – Chet Steadman (Rookie of the Year) – Veteran reliever and always can be relied upon in high-pressure situations.
RP – Sam “Mayday” Malone (Cheers) – Spotty Red Sox career.  Usually just gets mop up work in blowout losses or wins.
RP – Jim Bowers (Little Big League) – Real “clubhouse guy”, had good stuff and unflappable in tight games.
RP – Kenny Powers (Eastbound and Down) – A classic just aim it and throw it guy with great heat, a la Goose Gossage.
RP – Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn (Major League) – Led the Indians to some unexpected playoff success, gotta wonder what he could have been without an early stint in prison.

— STARTING LINEUP —
C – Leon Carter (The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings) – Surprise pick but a Negro Leagues legend who was great both with the bat and the glove.
1B – Clu Haywood (Major League) – Often led the league in most offensive categories (“including nose hair” according to Harry Doyle).  Scariest hitter to face.
2B – Tony Micelli (Who’s the Boss) – Great career with the Cardinals til a shoulder injury forced his retirement.  Great pop for a middle infielder.
SS – Eddie O’Brien (Take Me Out To The Ballgame) – Not only was he a famous 1900’s shortstop for the Wolves, but he was also a touring vaudeville headliner at the time!
3B – Jimmy Dugan (A League of Their Own) – Superstar slugger of the 1930’s who put fans in seats before managing in the short-lived women’s league.
LF – Walter “The Whammer” Whambold (The Natural) – Babe Ruth type status and raw power; the biggest baseball box office draw of the pre-war era.
CF – Bobby Rayburn (The Fan) – A five-tool outfielder with MVP credentials.  Memorable finish to his career as the mainstay of the SF Giants.
RF – Roy Hobbs (The Natural) – A what-if, 2-way player whose best years were robbed due to injury.  But he saved the New York Knights franchise.
DH – Stan Ross (Mr. 3000) – Like Robin Yount, Paul Molitor, and Hank Aaron, Ross was another 3000-hit player for the Milwaukee Brewers.

— BENCH —
C – Gus Sinski (For the Love of the Game) – A clubhouse stabilizer, possesses a cannon arm, and a great game-caller for a veteran pitching staff.
1B/UT – Lou Collins (Little Big League) – Beloved Minnesota Twin and frequent .300 hitter, also a solid defensive first baseman.
1B – Jack Elliot (Mr. Baseball) – Great slugger early in his career and learned to be a solid situational hitter in his final seasons.
SS – Pat Corning (Little Big League) – Smooth-glove shortstop here mainly for his defensive skills; great range plus high fielding percentage.
2B/SS – Danny Hammerling (Angels in the Outfield) – A real asset utility player on the bench, good bat control.
3B – Roger Dorn (Major League) – Well-paid free-agent with lots of all-star appearances in his career, despite his “matador defense.”
OF – Darryl Palmer (The Slugger’s Wife) – Record-setting home run power and elite Atlanta Braves star.
OF – Willie Mays Hayes (Major League & Major League 2) – Initially only a speedster on the basepaths, ended up becoming an all-around talent and team leader.
OF – Billy Young (Tiger Town) – Old school Detroit cornerstone with multiple all-star appearances and 9 Gold Glove awards.
DH – Jack Parkman (Major League 2) – Classic slugger and RBI man in the early DH era of the American League.  Clubhouse pariah.

— SORRY, NEAR MISS —
SP – Mel Clark (Angels in the Outfield) – Career cut short by lung cancer.
RP – Henry Rowengartner (Rookie of the Year) – Arm flamed out after one memorable Cubs season.
C – Jake Taylor (Major League) – Beloved player, but journeyman at best.
C – Crash Davis (Bull Durham) – Minor league record-holder but only was up in the majors for a cup of coffee.
1B/DH – Jerry Johnson (Little Big League) – We could try to make a case for Johnson but would ring as hollow as it did for manager Billy Heywood.
3B – Ray Mitchell (Angels in the Outfield) – Great clutch hitter but just not up to the level of a Roger Dorn.
OF – Bump Bailey (The Natural) – Was the savior of the Knight franchise until tragically running into the outfield wall.
OF – Pedro Cerrano (Major League) – Impressive power and great teammate, but was confounded by the curveball his whole career.
OF – Benny ‘The Jet’ Rodriguez (The Sandlot) – Fan favorite and eventually made the majors with the Dodgers after switching from SS.
— MANAGER —
Populus “Pop” Fisher (The Natural) – The quintessential players’ manager, he never could get the Knights over the top to a championship until the magical Roy Hobbs season. 

BASKETBALL 

— FIRST TEAM —
PG – Clarence “Coffee Black” Withers (Semi-Pro) – Made the transition from the ABA to the NBA and inventor of the “alley oop.”
SG – Tracy Reynolds (Like Mike) – Veteran clutch shooter also was “like Mike” and did it his whole career.
SF – Amazing Grace Smith (Amazing Grace & Chuck) – A Celtics star (and anti-nuke activist) pronounced by Johnny Most as “the greatest 3-point shooter of all time.”
PF – Moses Guthrie (The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh) – High-impact power scorer/rebounder, leading a roster built around astrology-driven team construction.
C – Ken Reeves (The White Shadow) – Counterpart to power centers like Wilt and Russell, great rebounder combined with some of Bill Walton’s high post passing game.

— SECOND TEAM —
PG – Scott McKnight (Just Wright) – Fan favorite and dynamic combo guard who can score in bunches.  Recovered from grisly All-Star Game injury to have great second career as a Nets star.
SG – Jesus Shuttlesworth (He Got Game) – One of the better college careers with Big State and ended up a lights-out pro shooter.
SF – Mark Cooper (Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper) – Not an elite scorer, but a versatile 3-and-D guy on any team.
PF – Lewis Scott (Celtic Pride) – An absolutely do-everything superstar in the Utah Jazz’ defeat of the Boston Celtics in the 1996 finals.
C – Neon Boudeaux (Blue Chips) – Tremendous game-changing athletic ability from the center position in both college and the pros.

— THIRD TEAM —
PG – Butch McRae (Blue Chips) – Talented tall point guard who changed the game first with Western University, then the pros.
SG – Ed Monix (Semi-Pro) – Physically imposing journeyman guard, good scorer, won a ring in the NBA before returning to the ABA.
SF – Leroy “Hustler” Monroe (Fast Break) – Dynamic scorer while leading Cinderella Cadwallader University, followed by a brilliant but injury-shortened career.
PF – Bo Cruz (Hustle) – International talent outside of the US collegiate pipeline.  Great stretch-4 shooter.
C – Nate Wilson (Eddie) – Big man intensity famous for his Knicks franchise-saving performance over Charlotte to reach the playoffs.

— COACH —
Jackie Moon (Semi-Pro) – In addition to being a player-coach and first team to run an alley-oop offense, he’s here also as general manager for innovative fan promotions. 

 FOOTBALL

— OFFENSE —
QB – Tom Jarrett (Heaven Can Wait) – Tough debate for this spot, but Jarrett brought a Super Bowl title to the Rams.
FB – Earl Jennings (Draft Day) – His son went on to play in the NFL, but the father was a rare thing: A Cleveland Browns legend.
RB – Lance Sullivan (The Best Man Holiday) – Elite running back with the Giants and has the skills for being an every-down back.
WR – Rod Tidwell (Jerry Maguire) – Flamboyant receiver and breakout star from small market Cardinals team; highlight-reel catches.
WR – Ricky Jerret (Ballers) – Vertical threat who still makes tough catches.  Frequent Pro-Bowler.
WR – Marvin “Shake” Tiller (Semi-Tough) – Great route-runner, big-play possession wideout for offensive-minded 1970s squad.
TE – Brian Murphy (The Replacements) – Deaf athlete who’s a prototype tight end: great blocker and a move-the-chains receiver.
T – Patrick “Madman” Kelly (Any Given Sunday) – Lots of intensity, power blocker.
T – Joe Bob Priddy (North Dallas Forty) – Dependable grinder on a very solid blocking unit
C – Charles Greane (Ballers) – Intelligent line captain and perennial All-Pro.
G – O.W. Shaddock (North Dallas Forty) – Celebrated long career; most recognizable lineman of his generation.
G – “Guard Dog” Fredericks (Playmakers) – Highly physical blocker and leader of the line unit.

— DEFENSE —
DE – Deacon Gorman (Heaven Can Wait) – Ferocious pass-rusher; anchored a Super Bowl winning defense.
DE – Frederick “Ogre” Palowaski (Revenge of the Nerds) – Major college pedigree, a Mark Gastineau type of sack machine.
NT – George Samson (The Longest Yard) – Run-stopping nose tackle; friend of QB Paul Crewe.
LB – Vontae Mack (Draft Day) – Cerebral and fast edge-rusher who anchored the comeback of the Browns franchise
LB – Danny Bateman (The Replacements) – Soft-spoken off the field, and monster on the field.
LB – Luther “Shark” Lavay (Any Given Sunday) – Impact hitter and intimidating force. One of the best in the league.
LB – Eric Olyczyk (Playmakers) – Modern, versatile schemed linebacker.
S – Terry Brogan (Against All Odds) – Legendary longtime Outlaws player.
S – Bobby Boucher (The Waterboy) – Converted from LB after storied college career, leading the nation in tackles.  Ferocious hitter.
CB – Willie Beamen (Any Given Sunday) – Though he broke through eventually as Sharks QB, started his career as excellent cornerback with San Diego.
CB – Larry Summers (Blue Mountain State) – Collegiate legend who grew into bump-and-run cover corner.

— SPECIAL TEAMS —
K – Zagreb Shkenusky (First and Ten) – Classic early 1980’s “soccer style” kicker imported from Europe.
P – Derek Wallace (Necessary Roughness) – Wily veteran with a big foot
KR – David Putney (Draft Day) – It’s not often that a kick returner is involved as a dealbreaker player in a blockbuster trade of #1 picks.

— HEAD COACH —
Vince Penn (Draft Day) – There are some other legendary coaches for this slot but Penn won a ring; enough said.

— TOUGH CUTS —
QB – Paul Crewe (The Longest Yard), QB – Seth Maxwell (North Dallas Forty) – Great QBs in their time, but didn’t win a ring.
RB – Keith Anderson (Good Times), RB – Ray Jennings (Draft Day), RB – Julian Washington (Any Given Sunday), RB – Carter Rutherford (Leatherheads), RB – Billy Clyde Puckett (Semi-Tough) – Just a very competitive position.
WR – Phil Elliott (North Dallas Forty) – Beset by injuries but always had great hands and a nose for the first-down marker.
C – Jake Campos (North Dallas Forty), OL – Jethro Snell (First & Ten), OL – Kelvin “The Buffalo” James (Playmakers) – Stalwart offensive lineman.
NT – Andre Krimm (Necessary Roughness), DE – Ed “Bull” Lawrence (Everybody’s All-American) – Couldn’t quite make the transition from the college game to the pros.
KR – Forrest Gump (Forrest Gump) – College phenom but didn’t have the mind for the pro game.
K – Ray Finkle (Ace Ventura, Pet Detective) – Storied career for the Dolplhins but sustained a big reputation hit for crucial missed FG. 

HOCKEY

GK Jacques “Le Coq” Grande (The Love Guru) – Quick-reaction saves in high-pressure looks.  Confidence/ego component is part of his performance identity
D Ross “The Boss” Rhea (Goon) – High-end enforcer defenseman / hybrid fighter role.  A very strong skater for a physical defender
D Jean “Rosie” Lerose (Strange Brew) – Physical, stay-at-home defensive role; direct style of play rather than finesse or puck-carrying
F Doug “The Thug” Glatt (Goon) – Wins games through intimidation, momentum shifts, and fighting ability
F Shane Hollander (Heated Rivalry) – Elite skill forward archetype.  High-end skating, puck skill, and offensive IQ
C Ned Braden (Slap Shot) – Classic playmaking center.  Runs offense and distributes puck.  Intelligent, almost too intelligent. 

I understood his point in context and especially about writing – when in doubt, don’t feel badly about leaning on tropes and convention when creating; storytelling has successfully relied on the principles of Aristotle for 2000 years. 

Yet when it comes to how we live our lives, no one wants to be a cliche.   

So, why are people still afraid to declare that they like their steaks well-done, they don’t like watching subtitled movies, or they hate jazz – simply because that’s not cool? 

We Know Better 

It’s amazing.  Many of us realize that these micro-displays of “cool” are mostly arbitrary and then still feel guilty about liking what we like. 

Speaking of the word “guilt,” why do we have to preface our love of The Real Housewives of Melbourne as a “guilty pleasure”? 

If everyone knows these hierarchies are mostly constructed, why do they still feel socially binding in real time conversations? 

I don’t think I’ve ever eaten Thai food with a group of people where at least one person doesn’t get goaded into ordering a higher level of spice, effectively making their meal a celebrity-less version of Hot Ones. 

Status Signal to Noise 

Of course, we’re all a little bit performative.  Social media was built on the concept that people want to present themselves one way, while actually living another. 

Some of this classic performative taste has been around and annoying people well before Mark Zuckerberg started rating women with his buddies in a dorm room. 

Every major city in America has a floundering symphony and/or opera.  Then when they’re about to go under, the citizens lament that “we can’t let this happen, we’re a first-class city!”  All from people who couldn’t pick Madame Butterfly out of a police lineup. 

We’ve all got the one friend who can’t wait to tell people, “I don’t even OWN a TV.”  Or they criticize the Seattle Times or the Houston Chronicle as an inferior newspaper, like they serve on the Pulitzer Prize committee. 

Or the hipsterish anti sports crowd – who cares if it brings the majority of people on the planet a lot of joy and happens to be the only form of entertainment without predictable endings. 

Even when we recognize how performative this sounds, we still absorb the social rules around it. 

Let Your Uncool Freak Flag Fly 

Taking all of that into account, we still whisper our orders for mild Mexican food or a well-cooked steak, half hoping not to be noticed. 

Why? 

The stakes for these decisions couldn’t be lower.  If you don’t know how to pronounce French or you don’t listen to music on vinyl, who the fuck should care at this point? 

At some point we have to let go of the notion that “I prefer X” still functions like “I am XXX kind of person.”  

I Shouldn’t Have to Say This … 

These are all obvious with even 10 seconds of consideration, but I’ll write about them anyway. 

• If you’re on the socially cool side of the fence, ask yourself if you really like it?  
• If on the uncool side but know it’s something you like, then go ahead and own it. 

Cool Is Binary 

Lots of these choices are binary: spicy or mild, rare or well-done, vinyl collector or not an annoying jackass. 

Unfortunately, it just comes down to which side you’re on, and the other side isn’t cool. 

As I keep proving around here, if there’s a point to be made then it’s best made by a standup comedian – George Carlin in this case:

If you hoped “Syndicate” would be 90 minutes of repetitive thumping to complement a Molly-enhanced trip, you’ll be somewhat disappointed that The Midnight have crafted fully realized songs with more traditional structures and analog instruments. Though electronic instruments pervade, you will hear saxophone and electric guitar that will make you think of Michael Sembello’s “Maniac” or a myriad of songs from the 1980s that were not shy about liberally using sax solos.

Just to put a fine point on this: Synthwave is a genre steeped in nostalgia, and the song structures on this record honor that spirit — they belong to another time, and another century. Sure, contemporary pop, rock, country, and soul have leaned on the familiar arc of verse, pre-chorus, chorus, and bridge, but decades of hip-hop, electronica, and the catch-all “alternative” umbrella pushed those conventions aside, bending and upending song structure as a matter of course. Hearing this kind of traditional songcraft on “Syndicate” in that context feels genuinely refreshing. It raises a question worth sitting with: maybe the restless song structure experimentation of the last twenty-odd years is beginning to fade, and our collective ears are drifting back toward something familiar and something we can get lost in.

If you couldn’t tell by now, this is what I love about The Midnight’s “Syndicate.” Yes, the vibe of the album is reminiscent, evocative, and often wistful, but the dark underbelly of its lyrics (even when it’s being its most melodic) gives it a certain kind of relevance to our doomscrolling-algorithmically AI-constructed social reality. While this record is certainly one created for humans by humans to take them on a journey of sorts – by which I mean the album is meant to be listened to from beginning to end – there are many standout tracks that listeners will likely come back to or repeat.

For me, one track I was sucked into was “Runaways,” which features singer-songwriter Bonnie McKee. While McKee’s name may not be familiar to many folks, you’ll likely know the string of hits she co-wrote with Katy Perry. You can check out the wiki of her song credits, but safe to say that if you’ve heard “California Gurls,” “Teenage Dream,” “Last Friday Night,” and “Roar,” you’ve heard a Bonnie McKee composition.

On “Runaways,” it’s less about stylistic echoes of those songs and more about what her voice conjures — at least for me. The reference point that kept surfacing was Don Henley’s “The Boys of Summer.” That song’s enduring melancholy owes much to Mike Campbell’s deceptively simple three-note synth figure (F# → F → D♭), which anchored the track while he riffed around it on guitar. Strip that out, and the song loses the dark undertow that makes it timeless. “Runaways” works a similar kind of magic, opening with its own three-note synth motif that drives the intro.

Lyrically, the song is not so much about getting older and lost loves of the past, but more about wanting to flee from what is to “California dreaming” – whatever that might be. McKee is originally from the Golden State (born in Vacaville), so maybe for her, that dream is about being free of whatever impending doom is coming at the end of summer. Sure, lyrically, it’s bleak, but damn if the hooks in this song don’t make it one to repeat.

While “Syndicate” is an extremely strong album that demonstrates the duo of Lyle and McEwan put a lot of thought, time, and energy into crafting quality songs, I will highlight the album’s one shortcoming (though it might be intentional): the overuse of three-note synth hooks similar to the one in “Runaways.” But this is a minor quibble in an otherwise satisfying journey through its future-past synthwave soundscapes.

(L-R) Tyler Lyle and Tim McEwan of The Midnight

The Midnight is touring – with some dates sold out – in the following cities:

MAY 6, 2026

The Mission Ballroom

Denver, CO

With support from New Constellations

VIP

TICKETS

MAY 7, 2026

The Complex

Salt Lake City, UT

With support from New Constellations

VIP

TICKETS

MAY 9, 2026

Paramount Theatre

Seattle, WA

With support from New Constellations

VIP

TICKETS

MAY 10, 2026

Queen Elizabeth Theatre

Vancouver, BC

With support from New Constellations

VIP

TICKETS

MAY 12, 2026

McMenamins Crystal Ballroom

Portland, OR

With support from New Constellations

VIP

SOLD OUT

MAY 14, 2026

Fox Theater

Oakland, CA

With support from New Constellations

VIP

TICKETS

MAY 15, 2026

Hollywood Palladium

Los Angeles, CA

With support from New Constellations

VIP

SOLD OUT

Excellent new plays like The Balusters and fine play and musical revivals picked up some of the slack but a standout season for new musicals it was not. I think what happened is that a backlog of shows caused by the pandemic has ended and the economics of producing big, splashy “tuners” that may never pay off in changed times has gripped investors…that is, until the next big thing comes along. But that wasn’t on the cards this season. Instead we got the Broadway debut of the well-traveled Celine Dion burlesque Titanique, which has had a few ports of call before berthing at the St. James. It’s a very…gay, evening, gay gay gay as it feasts on the movie and the earnest, tightly controlled persona of the singer (hilariously incarnated by co-author and Drama Desks host Marla Mindelle), who tells us what really went down (in every sense) the night Titanic went down and spoof-sings about a billion songs in between shtick from Jim Parsons (in full drag as Rose’s domineering mother, with dead birds stuck to his hair) and a cast of cut-ups (including Deborah Cox, a ribald Molly Brown and a former Dion backup singer). Some of the humor, improvised from the headlines (Bryon Noem jokes just as his colorful shenanigans emerged), went over the head of my 15-year-old son; some of the gayest stuff went over mine (Bowen Yang is aboard as a producer). But we intersected with the “Luigi” gags, laughed a lot, and learned a few things.

Speaking of gay (and L, B, T, and Q), The Rocky Horror Show is back, a half-century since the Picture Show and about 25 years after its last Broadway revival, when I was…well, younger. My theory about the movie’s cultdom is that the famed audience participation is a kind of tough love, whipped up by fans who revere the cast and songs to keep the pace from flagging amidst the slack direction and editing. My recollection of the last revival is that it could have used some ad-libbing despite best efforts by the performers; here it’s built in, with the audience directed to call out at certain moments. It’s fun (been a long time since I did that at the movie) but under the assured and inventive direction of Sam Pinkleton (of the comedy smash Oh, Mary!) it’s only really necessary during the draggy first half of the second act, before the “floor show” kicks the ghoulish mayhem back into high gear. I loved the bright, day-glo colors throughout the theater and scenic designer dots’ mix of Euro sci-fi, Flaming Creatures, and Pee-wee’s Playhouse for the overall aesthetic, delightfully different from the usual mock Goth. And the cast, sensational: Stephanie Hsu as “slut” Janet, Andrew Durand as “asshole” Brad, an unrecognizable Amber Gray as Riff Raff, Broadway debutante and always sui generis Juliette Lewis as you’ve somehow never seen her before as Magenta…not a weak link in the bunch, as narrator Rachel Dratch referees. Still, you don’t have a Rocky Horror unless you have a Frank-n-Furter, and in the sensational Luke Evans, you have one for the ages. Incredible. He parties like it’s 1977 at Studio 54 and I’ll retain happy memories until I time warp back to the next go-round, when I’m 85.

While on the subject of monsters, let me say that I never miss a vampire musical. Dance of the Vampires, Dracula: The Musical, Lestat–once upon a time Broadway was crawling with them, flops though they were. A modest theatrical hit in the summer of 1987 The Lost Boys doesn’t have much of a cult but it does have period hair, costumes, and attitude, and nostalgia for all that fuels this uneven but occasionally successful stage translation, mostly in its first act. Overall it’s as much indebted to Broadway’s Stranger Things: The First Shadow (family trauma, special effects) and The Outsiders (teens longing to fit in and belong, indie rock tunes by The Rescues) as it is to its source, a bloodsucking Peter Pan set on the California coast. Ali Louis Bourzgui, star of The Who’s Tommy, “does” Kiefer Sutherland but brings his own charisma to the part as he hexes new arrivals to the town and the vamp (not yet vampire) Star (Maria Wirries, much better than the movie’s wan Jami Gertz); the “lost boys” are sometimes a hair band, which works in the context. The motorcycle and bridge setpieces are cleverly transposed from the film and the flying sequences (pictured) are moodily spectacular, generating spooky enchantment throughout the cavernous Palace. A shame that the book follows the silly script into the second act (and adds a “post-credits scene” to boot). That’s enough, however, to make it the best of its kind, low bar though that it is. And the gifted Shoshana Bean, as the concerned mother of the two teens caught in the dark web of deceit, has some roof-raising songs–it’s not really her character’s show but her presence keeps this vampire musical from, umm, “sucking” too bad.

Changing gears! Emmy-winning stars of The Bear are on spring break in Broadway and not having an easy time of it. David Auburn’s Proof won all the prizes when it premiered and with its twists and insights into damaged souls is a quintessential Well-Made Play, at least the first time you see it. But it hasn’t aged well, and needs a performer with the stage skills and enigma of original lead Mary-Louise Parker to pull it off. Ayo Edebiri will improve during the run but she isn’t there yet, more depressed and irritable than fascinatingly off-center. (It’s her Broadway debut, along with Don Cheadle’s as her father, a mathematician fallen into schizophrenia whose absence the apparently underachieving Edebiri can’t handle in their fading Chicago home.) Maybe it’s the age thing again but I felt more sympathy for Cheadle’s concerned elder daughter, forcefully portrayed by Kara Young; I realize now she’s right on a lot of things, pushiness aside. (And maybe because she’s more comfortable up there at the Booth; I’d like to see her as the unbalanced Catherine.)

Jon Bernthal and Ebon Moss-Bachrach (pictured) shout their way through the screen-to-stage Dog Day Afternoon, which gives you nothing you can’t get from Sidney Lumet’s classic 1975 movie, the story of a Brooklyn bank robbery that spirals into a hostage situation. Nothing, that is, unless you’ve yearned for some backstory about John Cazale’s scarily quiet Sal (to share the billing and satisfy TV viewers Moss-Bachrach yaps away) or wanted more from the head teller, who as played by Jessica Hecht is practically a co-lead, hectoring the guys then offering her support. Adaptor Stephen Adly Guirgis is a brilliant playwright but he’s banging his typewriter against a brick wall here, only finding new insight into the material in the second act, when Leon (Esteban Andres Cruz, excellent here and in the playwright’s Halfway Bitches Go Straight to Heaven), the trans lover of Bernthal’s Sonny and the reason for all the hurlyburly, pipes up. A ‘bro show” suddenly acquires a different, more intriguing flavor, if only for a few minutes. (Note, though, that for all my gripes the production, from which Guirgis was barred from the August Wilson for three days as it was locked, is a hit. Go figure.)

The documentary-to-stage The Fear of 13 spotlights a more riveting star turn by another Broadway neophyte, two-time Oscar winner Adrien Brody, as death row inmate Nick Yarris, fighting for his freedom after a lifetime of bad choices and inept schemes with the help of prisoner aid volunteer Tessa Thompson (fine in a more reactive part, and also new to Broadway, though in some ways this is more of a one-person show with other people). For knockabout farce Rose Byrne and Kelli O’Hara AbFab their way through Noel Coward’s slight, sleek and stylish Fallen Angels, superb entertainment. But I leave you with Death of a Salesman. It’s not that long ago that I saw Philip Seymour Hoffman, then Wendell Pierce, in Arthur Miller’s masterpiece. I wasn’t keen on seeing Nathan Lane, Laurie Metcalf, Christopher Abbott, and Ben Ahlers in Joe Mantello’s latest staging. It wasn’t them; their work is brilliant, as are the supporting performances (K. Todd Freeman is a standout as Charley, Willie Loman’s friend) and the gray, industrial, timeless design by all the artisans, with that insinuating car representing all of Willy Loman’s battered dreams and forebodings. It’s just that, at Willy’s age (again!), I was reluctant to scale the mountaintop of 20th century American playwriting one more time. It’s a hazardous climb into our collective psyche–but if they’re going to do it seven times a week at the Winter Garden, I should at least make the voyage once. Off I went, and it was brutal; Miller spares us nothing. You should leave feeling shattered, your senses dynamited. I did.

I worked in the radio industry for decades and did various jobs. But one that I never got a chance to do (even though I thought it would be my dream job in the industry) was music director. I felt all those years in a DJ studio playing songs that were proven hits, or those where a record label was really pushing (via legal payola)on the public through connections with program directors and music directors, had tuned my ears to what makes for a radio-friendly song. I’m not sure there are hard and fast rules for radio-friendly songs, but if you spend enough time listening to music for the masses and being a DJ at weddings, school dances, company parties, and the like, you will learn pretty quickly what makes people happy and what gets a thumbs down. 

I’ll be honest and say that often people have bad taste, but they like what they like – even though I may not like what they like. That’s just the nature of music. It’s a subjective experience where one person loves something that others think is crap.

Bob Dylan is one of those artists whose subjective experience of his music is pretty stark.  

His voice is polarizing. 

His persona is easily the stuff of ridicule. 

He can be an asshole in interviews. 

What’s to like? 

Well, for me, a lot. He’s been a prolific songwriter throughout his career. He’s toured consistently for decades. He’s won awards for his albums. But he’s also a guy who just does his own thing. Rarely does he make a record with the intention of spinning off 2-3 hit singles. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have radio-friendly songs. He does. And it’s not from his salad days. Indeed, as this list will make clear from 1980 onward, Dylan had, more often than not, a song or two on a record that could easily be played in high rotation on rock stations – and some were for a time. But if Dylan’s contemporaries are still the stuff of classic rock playlists, Dylan’s post-70s output can easily find an enduring place, too. 

Now, I’m not so Pollyannaish as to think that these ten songs won’t be contested by Dylan know-it-alls. That’s fine. Comment away and go out and build a rival list. To me, the more the merrier. I don’t claim to be an authority on his music or that my list is somehow the end-all and be-all of radio-friendly lists. I went with my gut and my radio-conditioned ears to compile a list of songs (listed here in chronological order) that would sound great on rock radio stations if added to playlists. 

Let’s get started, shall we? 

“Saved” (From the album Saved, released June 23, 1980). Part II of Dylan’s God trilogy albums. His conversion to Christianity could have been driven by some personal travails in his life, but whatever the case may be, Dylan’s overt love letter to a higher power is done so with an overt love letter to gospel music. Lyrically, Dylan isn’t offering anything new as to why he’s lovin’ the lord; it’s mostly a drowning man being saved: 

Nobody to rescue me

Nobody would dare

I was going down for the last time

But by His mercy I’ve been spared

Not by works

But by faith in Him who called

For so long I’ve been hindered

For so long I’ve been stalled

What I love about this song and why it’s radio-friendly is that it has many layers that make it interesting to one’s ears. The driving beat, the background singers, the absolutely passionate playing by the band, and, of course, Dylan being nakedly honest in his singing. I’m sure there was more than a smidge of snark when this record came out, with many in the music press looking for a way to discount his religiosity by finding fault with the music. But, to me, this song can go toe-to-toe with others of its stylistic ilk and would sound fresh on the radio. I mean, if The Rolling Stones could do something similar with “Saint of Me” (which probably does get some airplay to this day), why can’t Dylan’s “Saved” get a shot of love?

“Jokerman” (From the album Infidels, released October 27, 1983). Produced by one of my favorites, Mark Knopfler, “Jokerman” comes off Dylan’s 22nd album, Infidels. The God-themed songs were still part of his creative output, but on “Jokerman,” it’s more oblique. What makes this song so radio-friendly is the strong rhythm section of Robbie Shakespeare and Sly Dunbar. Mark Knopfler and Mick Taylor on guitar are the cherry on top (musically), allowing Dylan to get it all out in a six-minute tour de force. Sure, the single stiffed in 1983, and had Dylan recorded a proper studio version of the one performed on Late Night with David Letterman in 1984 with The Plugz, it’s possible the song would have flourished on college radio. Since everything old is new again, I think reintroducing “Jokerman” to the public by adding it to the rotation on a rock station would give it a second life – a second coming, if you will. 

“Tight Connection to My Heart” (From the album Empire Burlesque, released June 8, 1985). The album Empire Burlesque was my gateway into Dylan’s work. It was because I watched the video for this song on MTV that I bought the cassette – and liked it a lot. I had a vague notion of Dylan’s religious phase in his music, but I thought that he was an important enough artist that I’d better start absorbing his music if I wanted to consider myself a future member of the Music Snobs Club. Only later did I learn from the Bootleg series released in 1991 that a version of this song, “Someone’s Got a Hold of My Heart,” was recorded for the Infidels album, but shelved. While the video is a mess, the song itself is a gem. The addition of the background vocalists and the ‘80s production sheen added by Arthur Baker was Manna for my ears at the time. The song felt contemporary, like Dylan was trying to get with the times and be relevant to a younger audience, like many of his musical generation were at the time. It may sound a bit hokey now, but I think it still holds up and is clearly a radio-friendly single that did well on the U.S. Billboard Top Rock Tracks (number 19), but totally tanked on the singles chart (peaking at 103).  

“Silvio” (From the album Down in the Groove, released May 30, 1988). To be frank, the album Down in the Groove is not good. But it contains this stellar track – and one of the most popular of Dylan’s. Co-written by Robert Hunter and Bob Dylan, “Silvio” has The Grateful Dead written all over it. Dylan had just come off a tour with The Dead in 1987 and got members from the band to lend their talents to co-vocals on this song, as the album credits note:

Bob Dylan — Vocals, Guitar

Nathan East — Bass

Mike Baird — Drums

Madelyn Quebec, Carol Dennis — Additional Vocals

Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir, Brent Mydland, Additional Vocals

In 1990, I met Robert Hunter at a book signing at Brentano’s – located at the time in the San Francisco Centre mall– after he published Box of Rain: Lyrics: 1965-1993. Hunter was just packing up, but had a moment to sign one more book (mine) before leaving. I asked him how he and Dylan wrote “Silvio,” and he said that Bob came over to his house, asking if he had any songs that he could use for an upcoming project. Hunter said he handed Dylan his notebook, and Bob disappeared into his bedroom for about an hour. When he came out, Bob said he found a couple of songs he liked – “Silvio” being one of them. After choosing the songs, he left. Robert added, “Bob’s like that. He just kind of shows up – and leaves when he’s done.” Well, Dylan picked a great song. However, without the bouncy rhythm, strong co-vocals, and upbeat feel, I don’t think “Silvio” would be the enduring, radio-friendly jewel it is.

“Political World” (From the album Oh Mercy, released September 12, 1989). Talk about an anthem for the times. 1989 was a significant year with the Berlin Wall coming down in November, well after Dylan wrote “Political World,” but landing at at time when political change was in the air outside of the U.S. This record was Dylan’s first collaboration with producer Daniel Lanois, and it proved to be the right choice in terms of making a solid album. Lanois had worked his magic for Peter Gabriel, U2, and Robbie Robertson, so having him on board to right the proverbial ship after the two previous albums were poorly received proved to be the rocket fuel needed for a “Dylan’s back!” moment. “Political World” has a heavy feel with the production, but Lanois was able to create a lot of separation in the music that keeps the crunching guitars and the accents Lanois adds on the dobro balanced with Dylan’s voice. While the song has a very forward-moving feel, it lacks a chorus and bridge to break up the song into a more traditional structure. That choice works to its benefit because it amps up the urgency of its message by keeping the gas pedal floored to the final fade out. Great stuff and the kind of music that made Dylan feel relevant to the times that were, um, a-changin’. 

“Cat’s In the Well”(From the album Under the Red Sky, released September 10, 1990). One can easily do the twist to this song. And as they used to say on American Bandstand during the “Rate a Record segment,” It’s got a good beat, and you can dance to it.” Dylan’s music is not known for its get-down-and-boogie feel, but this one does have that barroom dance beat that gets one’s head nodding and butt shaking. Some may find it odd that I picked a song from this disappointing follow-up to Oh Mercy, but it’s an innocuous song that’s playful, silly, and lacks the lyrical heaviness of the previous album. If I’m in a serious Dylan mood, this song wouldn’t necessarily bubble up on a playlist, but we’re talking about radio-friendly here, so while it may have its shortcomings, it’s got the right amount of ear candy to keep many radio listeners locked on a station that’s playing it.  

“Series of Dreams” (From the album, The Bootleg Series Volumes 1–3 (Rare & Unreleased) 1961–1991). An outtake from the Oh Mercy sessions that was supposed to be the lead single from that album. I think it was wise to hold this one back because while it’s a really well-produced song that has great music hooks, it’s better as a single than part of a larger musical statement on a record. And as a single, it’s a banger with a lush production that gives the listener a sonic feast of sounds that elevate Dylan’s vocals. 

“Love Sick” (From the album Time Out of Mind, released September 30, 1997). Bringing Daniel Lanois back into the producer’s chair was, to me, a smart move on this record because what he wrought on this song was something otherworldly and timeless. It’s such a haunting piece about the narrator who is not so much pining away for another person, but rather sick of love – well, sort of. At the end, the narrator says, Just don’t know what to do/I’d give anything to be with you, which more than suggests that the play on the words love sick is a sly one, as it shows that love is a double-edged sword. Why this song, with its thick production and liberal use of studio effects, is a radio-friendly song lies in counter-programming music. It’s not always the toe-tappin’ hits that make for a good playlist. Sometimes you gotta mix up the flow, tempo, and feel by presenting a song that really changes the mood. Too many soundalikes means the music mix is more wallpaper for the ears than a painting that reveals layers of human emotion. 

“Beyond Here Lies Nothin’” (From the album Together Through Life, released April 18, 2009). Dylan didn’t like the production Daniel Lanois did on Time Out of Mind, but, ironically, he keeps that noir feel front and center on this Robert Hunter co-penned tune. Like “Love Sick,” this song makes effective use of studio sonics, creating a thick throwback feel to it. Its dark underbelly is probably why the song’s video, with its extreme violence, was so polarizing. He must have liked it because Dylan continued the violent theme in his Christmas video for the cover of “Must Be Santa.” But videos aren’t played on the radio. Music is. And with “Beyond Here Lies Nothin’”, Dylan has created a grim, gritty, and ultimately great song. 

“Duquesne Whistle” (From the album Tempest, released August 27, 2012). Another composition co-written by Robert Hunter. Again, the video for the song continues the theme of violence that was in the previous videos, but lyrically, the song is anything but violent. Indeed, it’s more about moving on down the line while flashing back to a lost love. The rhythm of the song keeps the train-chuggin’-down-the-tracks vibe as the main motif, and it works to great effect. Dylan’s voice is now ragged with age, and its rough texture gives the song a sense of history. To me, the narrator rides the rails not just to get somewhere, but to stay ahead of a past he’s trying to forget.

The catalyst is the association’s newest member, Kyra Marshall (Anika Noni Rose), recently arrived from Baltimore. At first glance Kyra is an ideal addition to the multiracial, more or less progressive-minded board Elliot has assembled. She does, however, have questions, as the nine-person group holds its monthly meetings in her home, the pride of the block. Conversations about a house with historically inaccurate balusters (you will not forget this word) deepen and darken into chit-chat about episodes of alleged teenage vandalism and overheard slurs about the Muslims in the supermarket. Judiciously wielding his prized gavel, Elliot, a realtor with communal clout, urges everyone on the nine-person association to speak their mind, and they do, often hilariously. But when matters come to a vote these free thinkers inevitably vote his way. It’s a habit Kyra finds exasperating, particularly regarding an esplanade prey to potentially dangerous traffic. The problem is most easily rectified with stop signs, which Elliot simply won’t allow; they ruin the view. Nor will Kyra budge, as the two attempt to build coalitions and gird for war.

The Balusters fits snugly into the emerging genre of “board comedy,” following Tracy Letts’ The Minutes and Jonathan Spector’s Eureka Day. Lindsay-Abaire based it on his neighborhood association in Brooklyn, and anyone who’s served on any board of any kind (raises hand) will relate to the oh-so-polite twists of the plot, and the knife; as things get ugly, we learn of the lethality of Kyra’s “direct” approach. One character likens the meetings to a game of Clue, with gossip as currency to be used as brutally as required. The show put me in mind, however, of Agatha Christie’s play And Then There Were None, her adaptation of her novel Ten Little N…umm, Indians, an early example of the language policing The Balusters comically dissects. This is no two-hander; the playwright has put nine board members up there on Derek McLane’s dapper set, and even conjures a raging thunderstorm to dispatch a character as candid revelations expose each for hypocrisy, one by one. Under Kenny Leon’s expert direction the pace of this two-hour one-act show never flags, with every performer tightly bound to the ensemble, then allowed to sparkle. Everyone will have their favorites: mine included the acid Margaret Colin, in full suburban diva mode; Michael Esper, who has a fantastic monologue about middle-aged white guys like him trying, and failing. to keep up with our woke and DEI era; Kayli Carter as Esper’s youthful foil, savagely maintaining ever-changing standards of discourse; and Maria-Christina Oliveras as the tenth member of the cast, Kyra’s housekeeper (formerly Elliot’s), whose motivations are kept under wraps. Plus, of course, Lindsay-Abaire’s muse Marylouise Burke, as Elliot’s right-hand woman, his faithful secretary, who’s not as dim as she appears, maybe. Suffice to say that every player connects with the playwright’s dialogue, which draws laughs and applause throughout.

But the really funny thing about The Balusters is that for all its sharp-elbowed satire it comes out swinging in full support of community. Like Henry “Fonz” Winkler and Alan “Hawkeye” Alda “John-boy” Thomas was cursed with early TV fame; also like them he’s aged into a splendid character actor. The unchanging Elliot is clearly not acquainted with The Leopard but Thomas makes his growing rage as comprehensible and pitiable as it is amusing; there are no villains in The Balusters, just people trying to do what’s best despite their limitations and prejudices. Likewise, there are no heroes, either, with a final sting in the tail for the one, formidably played character we think will be spared. She isn’t. What The Balusters says is that we contain multitudes–but some of them kinda suck, and we just have to muddle through with each other.

ROCHELLE, ROCHELLE (1993) — ★★★ — A+ (Mature) — THEATRICAL
Erotic Drama
The film that inspired the hit Broadway musical starring Bette Midler.  Billed as being “about life, love, and becoming a woman,” young Rochelle resides in Milan and visits relatives in Minsk which becomes a strange, erotic journey.  Characterized by extensive sidal nudity and a straightforward narrative structure. The film achieved significant box-office performance relative to its genre. 

FIRESTORM (1996) — ★★★½ — A — THEATRICAL
Action Thriller
Pre-dates the Howie Long vehicle Firestorm by two years. Action-packed popcorn movie with airplanes, helicopters and underwater escapes.  Harrison Ford stars in a more physically demanding role. Contains some plot twists which could become spoilers. 

MOUNTAIN HIGH (1995) — ★★ — A — THEATRICAL
Action Adventure
Stars Kevin Bacon and Susan Sarandon.  Despite a simple premise, the film is largely seen as overwrought.  A quote from the movie, “You’ve gotta get me over that mountain!” has entered the cultural zeitgeist.  R-rated. 

THE PAIN AND THE YEARNING (1981) — ★★½ — A — THEATRICAL (VINCENT PICK)
Romantic Drama
An old woman experiences pain and yearning. Flashback storytelling of love, loss and regret.  A lengthy period drama frequently compared to works such as The French Lieutenant’s Woman, Reds, and Tess. The 192-minute runtime adds to its reputation for endurance viewing. 

SACK LUNCH (1997) — ★★ — F (Family) — THEATRICAL (ELAINE PICK)
Comedy
Lighthearted, escapist fare about a family who is shrunk down in a giant sack. Dabney Coleman stars.  Popular at the box office but under-delivered on its premise. 

BLIMP: THE HINDENBURG STORY (1998) — ★½ — A — THEATRICAL
Historical Action
An action movie take on the story of the Hindenburg explosion.  Despite the thrills in the middle, the film is at times morose and contains eerie silences.  It misses the mark; an ambitious but misguided genre mashup.

DEATH BLOW (1996) — ★★ — A — THEATRICAL / WIDESPREAD BOOTLEGS
Action Thriller
A man named Death Blow is engaged in a longstanding conflict with a Hawaiian man, involving repeated attempts to evade explosions, aerial escapes, and ongoing pursuit across multiple locations. Vigilante dialogue and action sequences dominate the narrative.

THE OTHER SIDE OF DARKNESS (1997) — 0 Stars — A — DIRECT-TO-VIDEO (KRAMER PICK)
Drama
Tightly-wound issue film about a female coma victim and the medical doctors and nurses determined to help her recover.  Eric Roberts co-stars as the victim’s husband.  With a silly ending, it’s no wonder this was dumped by the studio instead of being released theatrically.  Runtime is over two hours. 

CHECKMATE (1993) — ★★★ — A — THEATRICAL
Historical Drama
A costume drama involving chess and international intrigue. Released in the same month as another chess movie, Searching for Bobby Fischer.  Checkmate focuses on a king in jeopardy who is also a chess champion.  

PONCE DE LEON (1991) — ★★½ — A — THEATRICAL
Historical Drama
Spanish conquistador Juan Ponce de León and his compatriots are on a mythical search for the Fountain of Youth.  Audiences were divided by the emotional ending, where Ponce looks in the mirror. 

FLAMING GLOBES OF SIGMUND (1965) — BOMB — Y — THEATRICAL
Science Fiction
Incoherent technicolor sci-fi about an interstellar space agitator incinerating a planet. It features an alien evil mastermind named Sigmund and a confusing sci-fi espionage plot.  It’s not worth your time, even on late-night TV. 

PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE (1991) — ★½ — A — THEATRICAL
Thriller
Medical drama involving a disturbed doctor with his own agenda. Despite plot twists, it’s a disappointing affair with story developments that can be seen coming a mile away. 

CRY, CRY AGAIN (1996) — ★★★ — A — THEATRICAL (BRODY PICK)
Art film
A man in Paris experiences an existential crisis.  Lots of imagery with an arty sensibility and a very symbolic loaf of bread.  You cry, and then when you see the dancing, you cry again. 

AGENT ZERO (1995) — ★★½ — A — THEATRICAL (NEWSRADIO PICK)
Action Thriller
Centers on a rogue agent on the run from the government.  From the opening explosions to the climactic mix of boxing and taekwondo, the movie mostly delivers on its promise of non-stop action.   

THE MUTED HEART (1995) — ★★ — A — THEATRICAL (SUSAN PICK)
Drama
Love story that reveals a gender-relational fault line.  Praised for its ambiguous open-ended conclusion.  Stars Glenn Close and Sally Field with able performances, though far from their best work. 

Speaking of music we think is worth your time, this installment features four acts from different corners of the map, each doing something distinctive and, at times, moving. There’s folk-tinged defiance from Portland, a slice-of-life pop gem from the New York area, an emotional tribute that spans continents and generations, and some neo-vintage instrumental cool.

The Builders and the Butchers, “World’s On Fire”

We’re living in a time of great change, and during times like these, artists are often at the forefront, expressing what it feels like to live through it. Case in point: Portland, Oregon-based The Builders and the Butchers. Their latest album, No Tomorrow, is out now. It has an organic feel — banjo-forward, with a Decemberists-and-Mumford-and-Sons vibe — but “World’s On Fire,” despite its rather bleak title, reflects what lyricist and guitarist Ryan Sollee calls an “overarching message…that we can find hope in each other and still lead lives full of joy and creativity even when systems and leaders fail us.” That sentiment is evident in the opening lyrics:

Sitting around here waiting for my Lord
Sitting around here waiting for my Lord
And if he don’t show, I’ll have another cigarette and beer
’Cause only a fool thought that the good Lord would end up here

There’s no shame in loving someone you don’t understand
Only wasted time in keeping heads down in the sand
I shot my bullets at my feet, I cut your name into my hand
There’s no shame in living life in full light while you can

Amen, brother.

Allie Sandt, “Amanda Antiques”

This New York/New Jersey-based singer-songwriter has been featured in Single Play before and on my podcast, Planet LP. She’s currently working on a new album and has completed a studio version of “Amanda Antiques” with some of her former bandmates from Seeing Double. The song opens with busy guitar work before leaping into an almost samba-like feel anchored in a pop-rock structure. Allie noted that the song is about a woman she met in upstate New York who — yes — runs an antique store, and the lyrics clearly reflect that slice of life:

I’m knocking on her place of business
I ring her doorbell to the dogs
They run up biting on my ankles
She jingles over when she walks
In with the old, out with the new
She’s selling your old clothes back to you
Just like her mother and her mother’s mother too

Coco Bans, “Pray (Daughter’s Version)”

Fans of Grey’s Anatomy might remember this song from episode 20 of season 16, “Sing It Again.” Performed by Coco Bans and written by Allyson Ezell, Jo Pereira, Olivia Slania, and Matthew Ker, “Pray” is an emotional rollercoaster that hits all the right notes for the feels. Now, Liv Slania has taken this 2019 song and expanded it into a tribute to her father, Czesław Słania. Liv notes that her dad was “the world’s most esteemed and prolific stamp engraver” and that she began writing the song after his death to find some closure. “When Coco Bans heard me quietly playing it on the piano and humming along,” she continues, “and having recently experienced a loss herself, she was inspired to help bring it to completion.”

Trabants, “Purple Panther”

The name of this band is Trabants — pronounced Truh-bonts. They are a Portland, Oregon-based instrumental project whose latest single, “Purple Panther,” is inspired by composer Henry Mancini. If, on first listen, you think, “Hey, this could be the theme of a TV show from the 1960s,” you wouldn’t be far off — that’s very much the intention: to carry on the crime-thriller and spy-film style that Mancini brought to shows like Mission: Impossible, Get Smart, and Peter Gunn. Saxophonist Ron Dziubla (who has played with Duane Eddy and Los Straitjackets) supplies plenty of soul and character, making this a real neo-nostalgia treat.

Giant, however, slashes. To set the scene for the main event this time I must mention that at the same age I was watching Vincent Price movies I was consuming the books and stories of Roald Dahl, a cornerstone of many a childhood. Mark Rosenblatt’s play, an Olivier winner on the West End last year that’s now at the Music Box, finds the beloved author in his not-quite-finished house struggling with The Witches (1983), sparring with his fiancee Liccy and British publisher Tom Maschler, and generally performing the part of the great man of letters as only a great man of the theater as John Lithgow can. (Like Dahl he’s a BFG, filling the room when he stands.) But there’s a chill in the air, attributable not to the weather (it’s summer) or Dahl’s fussing about but from reports of a prowler. He’s made the news, and not in a good way–a critique he’s written for the Literary Review about a photo book concerning Israel’s 1982 invasion of Lebanon, a review steeped in antisemitic vitriol, is causing headaches at home and “across the pond.” Liccy (Rachael Stirling) and Tom (Elliot Levey) are trying to control the damage, but both are in too deep with Dahl to sway him toward reasonableness, much less a public apology. (He and Liccy had a long affair while he was married to the actress Patricia Neal, a fraught union recently ended, and Tom, who came up with the Booker Prize, is constantly calibrating art and commerce with his star client, notwithstanding his own Jewish heritage.)

Into this unsettled situation comes Jessie Stone (Aya Cash, excellent), a young, relatively green sales director of Dahl’s US publisher, which has been fielding complaints. She hasn’t been briefed on how to manage Dahl’s moods and temperament but at first it’s ok; he’s happy to sign an autograph for her son, which brings out his paternal side. He loves children, and prides himself on speaking their language of disgust and revulsion (I reciprocated his indulgence, a wellspring of delight–and controversy over appropriateness–that has carried on into the era of Timothée Chalamet and Netflix adaptations). But he’s horrified by the death of Lebanese children at the hands of the Israelis–isn’t Stone…or is it “Stein”? And so begins a war of words, a war that Stone , fiery in her red skirt, wages with Dahl’s own words, taken verbatim from his review. They’re ugly, and I flinched throughout her painful recitation. What I knew of this episode was about as much as Wiki told me, and that isn’t much. (This is more illuminating.)

Act I concludes on a note of what I call “mic drop theater,” where no one in the audience dares to say a word. The second act contrives to bring Stone (a fictitious character) back to Dahl’s dining room table, which by this point is about as inviting as Titus Andronicus’. We expect some sort of comeuppance, or meeting of the minds, or understanding. (Some, not Rosenblatt, who wrote a portrait of the author, conjecture that the traumatic brain injury he suffered during World War II, which he said released his creativity, also loosed his demons.) There is a bit of relief. But only a bit, as Dahl, for whom antisemitism is a feature and not a bug, wallows in what goes well beyond performative hatred. In truth the play, galvanizing though it is, succumbs to repetition as it builds to a harrowing final scene, a telephone interview with a journalist also repeated verbatim. You’ll hang onto to every horrible word that Lithgow utters–a problem with Nicholas Hytner’s otherwise assured direction, as you’re bound to miss most of the clarifying reaction from Dahl’s maid Hallie (Stella Everett), who is positioned elsewhere in the room.

Decades after his death Dahl’s family apologized for these actions, which by then were obscured by the passage of time. Giant brings them front and center on Bob Crowley’s haunted set as arguments over artists and their art, never easy to resolve, are further amplified in the clanging corridors of social media. (The 80-year-old Lithgow, who loves his monsters, is working on a Harry Potter show, angering fans who admire his gentler Oscar-nominated performance in The World According to Garp and detest author J.K. Rowling’s statements on transgenderism.) It’s a difficult play to absorb, and to ponder, in the wake of October 7 and the Mideast conflagration. I’m glad Dahl’s books remain and that he’s gone; I shudder to think of him Zooming with the likes of Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens, trading barbs and conspiracy theories about the Jews.

It’s just the exact kind of movie that people say they want – no superheroes, about real people, and made for adults.   

Here’s the thing: there were 5 other people with me in that theater, even on a limited release.

Were we there because we have more integrity than other mainstream movie fans? Nope. A ton of other things can get in the way of “walking the walk” artistically in life.

Hypocrisy No Longer Hypocritical

It would be easy to say that this demonstrates that people say they want sophisticated movies, but they don’t put their money where their mouth is. Not only would it be easy to say that, but it would also be lazy to say that. It’s a cliche.

Again, I liked the movie – but it’s also a taste making movie to say you like. The norm seems to be that if somebody sees a foreign language film in a theater, or even anything at the “art house” theater in town, it takes that person about 10 minutes after it’s finished to post on Instagram how much they loved it.

That’s not hypocritical; that’s just the way it is. People have online personae, and they have their real lives. Those two things are less and less related. Or at least mutually predictive.

It might seem odd to think of us all having double lives, but it’s structurally normal now. And it’s probably been the case even since social media began.

Every tweet, post, or reel is like a press release submitted to an algorithm. They’re curated to be of interest, not necessarily representative of our lives.

I’ve probably posted 100 vacation photos on some social media platform over the years. I have never once tweeted about washing the dishes, and I’ve washed the dishes probably 200 times per vacation over the course of my life.

But we all expect that. When we watch TikTok or Facebook videos, we know we’re watching a sizzle real, not normal moments.

Film False Fronts

I started this about Fantasy Life, but the dichotomy between what we say we watch and what we watch is there in all of the arts. Shared playlists are just as curated and self-conscious as any mixtape somebody made for a girlfriend back in the day.

It’s not surprising to see somebody post that they just binged DTF St. Louis but I would definitely do a double-take if I read one of my friends bragging that they just watched reruns of 2 Broke Girls for three hours on a Saturday night.

Lifestyle Signaling

The whole situation seems like a nightmare for a marketing expert to gauge or predict sales based on “buzz.” Hard enough in entertainment, but probably even more difficult in commerce.

Everybody loves to “support local,” it costs absolutely nothing to say. And people use Starbucks as a stand-in for bourgeois consumerism. Yet, guess what the most popular coffee restaurant is in just about every neighborhood. That’s not an “aha moment”, it’s just the way buzz vs. behavior goes.

Some communities or organizers have tried their hands at legislation to ban The Gap from their shopping district. As if that’s our better nature but we just can’t help ourselves from going there.

Or my favorite example of public vs. real behavior: Symphony closings. If a mid-sized or even large city has a symphony or opera company that is close to filing for bankruptcy, the social media posts come out lamenting the state of the arts and that a burgeoning opera scene is the hallmark of a first-class city.

Eventually, a rich local benefactor swoops in to save the day so we can all go back to normal. Which is nobody going to the opera or the symphony.

I-Dentity

We’ve called social media behavior “virtue signaling” and while that’s true, I’m not trying to be critical or blow the lid off of inconsistent behavior. It’s just a fact. And everybody does it in their own way; not having a calculated persona IS a calcuated persona. There’s no escape.

But what I think all of our posts and press conferences for nobody are just that: for nobody. I would submit that these posts do way more for people to clarify their own choices and opinions for themselves than they do for informing others about you.

The things we say publicly are self-definition. And even if we behave differently, that doesn’t mean we don’t believe the contradictory things we said.

Behavior Interrupted

Let’s go back to the movie choice. I saw Fantasy Life the other day because I had the afternoon free, a cool art house cinema a couple miles away, and the showtime worked out great with my plans.

The stars aligned for me to see it. There are plenty of factors that had they gone the other direction, would have kept me from seeing it. If the movie was at 3:00 instead of 2:00, I would have skipped it – and Fantasy Life is not a multiple screen movie. True indies like this are lucky to get one screen in a city to themselves for 1-2 weeks.

If I felt like just seeing a movie regardless of what it was, it would be unlikely to show up at a multiplex and run into Fantasy Life. Furthermore, I only even found out about the movie from some minor Instagram post on it that happened to show up in my algorithm. I very easily could have never known the movie existed until well past its short theatrical run.

What I’m getting at is, sure, people act based on what they value. But the other equally important factors are availability and convenience.

Conclusion

I think most of us would rather have a pasta and vinegrette salad for dinner than a Big Mac. How often we do that depends largely on our values but also how tired we are, what kind of day we had, how annoying traffic might have been on the way home, and impulse. That doesn’t make us phonies.

Meanwhile, we still might take a shot at McDonalds in a social media post. Jim Gaffigan did ten great minutes on the hypocrisy of rolling ones eyes at McDonalds. I hope you’ve seen it:

We can still have our profiles, our harmless virtue-signaling, and online fantasy life. Thankfully, everybody is media sophisticated enough now not to point fingers at each other for being online hypocrites. And that’s great.

That said, please don’t make me go to a Marvel movie. That’s my online position and also my real-life policy.