Here, tender shrimp spread, cool cucumber Benedictine, and a Cajun-style deviled egg salad form the layers, each one creamy and bright with herbs. It’s the sort of dish that feels a little fancy without actually being fussy — perfect for brunch, Easter lunch, or any gathering where people are inclined to linger at the table a little longer than planned.

The beauty of a sandwich cake, though, is how forgiving it is. The fillings can easily be swapped depending on the season or what you happen to have on hand. Smoked salmon salad, tuna salad, pimento cheese, chicken salad, or even a simple herbed cream cheese spread all work beautifully. A layer of thinly sliced cucumbers or roasted vegetables can slide right in as well. Think of it less as a strict recipe and more as a framework for building a savory layer cake.

Once assembled and lightly frosted with a cream cheese spread, the whole thing chills until the layers settle together. When sliced, it reveals a tidy cross-section that’s as pretty as it is satisfying — a reminder that sometimes the most charming dishes are just familiar ingredients stacked together in a slightly unexpected way.

Southern Sandwich Cake-Louisiana Smörgåstårta

This Lenten-friendly sandwich cake brings the Scandinavian smörgåstårta to the Southern table—layers of soft bread and light seafood fillings stacked and dressed like a savory cake. The best part? The fillings are endlessly flexible, so you can swap in whatever spreads or salads you love.

Ingredients

• 12 slices firm, square-shaped, crusts removed (this is a great use for day-old bread)
• ¾–1 cup shrimp spread
• ¾–1 cup cucumber Benedictine spread
• ¾–1 cup egg salad
• 1½ cups savory frosting
• Garnish (optional)
• sliced cucumbers, cooked shrimp, fresh dill or chives. radish slices, capers, green onions, carrot flowers, edible flowers, etc.

• 12 oz cream cheese, at room temperature
• 1/4 cup Blue Plate Mayonnaise
• 4 tblsp softened butter

• 10 hard-boiled eggs, small diced
• ½ cup Blue Plate mayonnaise
• 1 tablespoon yellow mustard or Dijon mustard
• 1 green onion, thinly sliced
• 1 rib celery, finely diced
• 2 teaspoons fresh dill, chopped (or 1 teaspoon dried dill)
• 1 teaspoon Cajun or Creole seasoning
• 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
• ½ tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tablespoon dill pickle juice

• 2 cucumbers, peeled and shredded
• 1/2 white onion shredded
• 1 tsp kosher salt
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder
• 1/2 tsp white pepper
• 14 oz cream cheese, room temperature
• 4 sprigs of dill, large stems removed, finely chopped
• 1 handfuls of chives, finely chopped
• 1/4 cup Blue Plate mayonnaise
• 2 tbsp sour cream
• 5 dashes hot sauce

• 3 ounces cream cheese, room temp
• 1/4 cup Blue Plate mayonnaise
• 1 tablespoon Creole mustard
• 1 teaspoon lemon juice
• 1/4 teaspoon
• 1 pound cooked, shelled, small shrimp (or cut up large ones)
• 1/4 cup sliced green onions
• 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley
• 1/4 teaspoon hot sauce
• Freshly ground black pepper, salt & creole seasoning to taste

Instructions

1. Line a 9-by-5-inch metal bread baking pan with plastic wrap, allowing for a 4-inch overhang on all sides.
2. To assemble: Line the bottom of the pan with 3 slices of the bread. Spread evenly with the egg salad. Top with a layer of the 3 slices of bread and gently press down to adhere to the egg salad. Top with the cucumber spread and sliced cucumbers. Gently press down the 3 slices of bread on top of the cucumber layer. Top bread with layer of shrimp spread and top with last layer of bread ,gently press to adhere to the bread. Once again, gently press down on the to evenly compress the layers. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate to allow the layers to set, 2 hours or up to overnight.
3. Remove the cream cheese spread 30 minutes prior to decorating the smorgastarta to bring to room temperature.
4. Unmold the cake and remove the plastic wrap. Place onto a serving platter. Using a sharp knife, trim the sides of the smorgastarta, if needed. Using an offset spatula, spread the cream cheese all over, as if frosting a cake.
5. 6. To decorate: Decorate the sides and top of the cake as desired with the ham cut-outs, herbs, cucumbers, radishes and lemon slices. Add egg wedges, if desired. Finish with a pinch or two of freshly ground black pepper.

1. To make the cream cheese spread: In a large mixing bowl, add the cream cheese. Using a hand mixer, beat until creamy. Add the mayonnaise and butter. Beat until very smooth and spreadable.
2. If not using right away, put in fridge. Remove from fridge and allow to get to room temp before frosting the cake.

1. Combine the mayonnaise, green onion, mustard, celery, dill, Cajun seasoning, smoked paprika, Worcestershire sauce, and pickle juice in a medium bowl. Stir until well blended. Gently fold in the grated eggs until everything is evenly combined. Taste and adjust seasoning with salt, black pepper, or additional Cajun seasoning if needed. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before serving to allow the flavors to meld.
2. For something a little lighter, serve it tucked into lettuce cups or alongside sliced tomatoes and cucumbers. And of course, it’s perfect as one of the savory layers in a sandwich cake, where its creamy texture and deviled egg flavors pair beautifully with seafood and herb spreads.

1. Drain the vegetables: Place the shredded cucumber and onion in a fine colander set over a bowl. Sprinkle lightly with salt, toss to combine, and let sit for several minutes to release their moisture. Reserve the liquid that drains into the bowl.
2. Make the paste: Transfer the cucumber and onion mixture to a blender or food processor and pulse until it forms a smooth paste.
3. Remove excess moisture: Spoon the paste into a clean kitchen towel and wring out as much liquid as possible over the bowl with the reserved vegetable water. Set the drained paste aside.
4. Blend the base: Return the well-drained cucumber and onion paste to the blender or food processor. Add the cream cheese, sour cream, mayonnaise, white pepper, and garlic powder. Blend until smooth and well combined.
5. Finish the spread: Transfer the mixture to a bowl. Stir in the chopped chives and dill until evenly incorporated.
6. Season: Taste and adjust seasoning, adding hot sauce if desired. Chill until ready to use.

1. In a medium bowl, combine the softened cream cheese, mayonnaise, Creole mustard, lemon juice, and garlic powder. Stir until smooth and well blended.
2. Add the chopped shrimp, green onions, parsley, and hot sauce. Gently fold the mixture together until the shrimp is evenly coated.
3. Season with freshly ground black pepper, salt, and Creole seasoning to taste.
4. Cover and refrigerate for 30–60 minutes to allow the flavors to meld.
5. Serve chilled as a spread for crackers, a filling for sandwiches, or as a layer in a savory sandwich cake.

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Duck Schnitzel with Hunters Sauce

As duck season winds down, it’s the perfect time to get creative in the kitchen. This Louisiana twist on a classic German schnitzel is sure to keep hunters and duck lovers more than satisfied.

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup Blue Plate mayonnaise
• 3 tablespoons Creole mustard
• 3 dashes hot sauce
• 3/4 teaspoon Cajun/Creole seasoning

• 1 1/2 cups peanut or vegetable oil, adjusted as needed for frying
• 4 duck breasts, skin removed
• 3 cups breadcrumbs
• 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan
• 1 tablespoon Creole/Cajun seasoning

• 8 slices of bacon, diced
• 2 Tablespoons Butter
• 1/2 cup shallot or onion diced
• 4 cloves of garlic minced
• 16 oz of Mushrooms, sliced
• 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 Tbsp Tomato Paste
• 1/2 cup Red Wine
• 2 cups Chicken or Beef Broth
• 1 Tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
• 2 Tbsp Soy Sauce
• 2 teaspoons Cajun/Creole seasoning
• 2 -4 tbsp Cream ( depends on how creamy you would like it) omit if just want a brown gravy

Instructions

1. Marinate the duck--Combine all marinade ingredients in a large zip-top bag, bowl, or shallow dish. Massage the bag or stir well to combine fully.
2. Pound the duck--Pound each duck breast to about ¼-inch thickness. You can do this between sheets of plastic wrap or parchment, or—my favorite—right inside a zip-top bag (no splatter). Use a meat mallet, rolling pin, or even a heavy skillet.
3. Marinate--Add the duck to the marinade. Seal the bag or cover the dish and refrigerate for at least 1 hour, or up to 24 hours.
4. Bread the duck--In a shallow dish, combine breadcrumbs, Parmesan, and seasoning. Remove duck from the marinade and gently swipe off excess (it doesn’t need to be spotless—just mostly mayo-free so it crisps properly).
5. Dredge each piece in the breadcrumb mixture, pressing firmly to coat. Place on a wire rack and let rest for 10–15 minutes to help the coating adhere.
6. Heat the oil--When ready to cook, pour oil into a large cast-iron skillet until it reaches just under ½ inch deep. Heat over medium-high heat.
7. Fry--Heat oil to 365°F. (No thermometer? Drop in a breadcrumb—it should immediately sizzle.)
8. Fry duck in batches, careful not to overcrowd the pan. Cook 3–4 minutes per side, until deeply golden and crisp.
9. Transfer to a paper towel–lined plate to drain. Repeat with the remaining duck.

1. Cook the bacon--In a large skillet over medium heat, cook the diced bacon until crisp. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside. Carefully drain off excess bacon fat, leaving about 1–2 tablespoons in the skillet.
2. Sauté the vegetables--Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion, garlic, and mushrooms. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the mushrooms have released their liquid, softened completely, and begun to brown, about 10–15 minutes.
3. Build the roux--Reduce heat to medium-low. Sprinkle in the flour and stir to evenly coat the mushrooms. Cook for 30–60 seconds to remove the raw flour taste.
4. Add tomato paste and wine--Stir in the tomato paste and cook for about 2 minutes, allowing it to lightly brown. Slowly pour in the red wine, stirring constantly and scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of the pan. The mixture will be thick at this stage.
5. Finish the gravy--Add the beef broth a little at a time, stirring until smooth. Stir in Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, and seasoning. Increase heat to bring the gravy to a gentle boil, then reduce to a simmer. Cook for 10–15 minutes, until thickened. Add back in bacon and combine.
6. Optional cream finish--Stir in the cream, if using. Taste and adjust seasoning as needed.
7. Hold or reheat--Cover and keep warm until ready to serve. Reheat gently if needed—if the gravy thickens too much, thin with a splash of broth or water.

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Smoked Oyster Dip

Designed to win over even the oyster-skeptical, this creamy dip balances smoky oysters with rich, smooth texture—proof that affordable ingredients can still feel refine

Ingredients

• 8 oz cream cheese, softened
• 2 tbsp mayonnaise
• 2 tbsp sour cream
• 1 tbsp Worcestshire
• ½ tbsp fresh lemon juice
• 1 tbsp fresh parsley
• ¼ tsp cayenne
• ½ tsp smoked paprika
• ⅛ tsp Louisiana hot sauce
• 1 3 ½ oz can smoked oysters, chopped, and oil reserved

Instructions

1. In a medium bowl, add cream cheese, mayonnaise, sour cream, Worcestershire, lemon juice, parsley, cayenne, smoked paprika, and hot sauce. Mix well.
2. Add chopped oysters and the reserved oil from the can. Gently combine. Cover and chill the bowl in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes so the flavors can develop and meld together.
3. Transfer to a small bowl and serve with crackers or sliced French bread.

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Chow-Chow Ham Salad

Salty ham, sweet-tangy chow-chow, and just enough creaminess to bring it all together. Perfect for crackers, sandwiches, or straight from the bowl.

Ingredients

• 3 cups chopped ham
• 1/4 cup chopped celery
• 1/4 cup finely chopped onions
• 1/2 cup Blue Plate Mayonnaise
• 2 tbsp Dijon mustard
• 3 tbsp Cajun Chow Chow( or a relish of your choice)
• 2 boiled eggs chopped
• 2 tsps Creole seasoning
• 3 dashes hot sauce

Instructions

1. Combine all ingredients and let flavors combine for 30 minutes.

Notes

•  Serve ham salad in a sandwich, over greens, or as a dip.
• If you prefer a smoother texture, place the mixture in a food processor and pulse until it reaches your desired texture.

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Bon Jambon -Baked Ham with Glaze & Pan Sauce

I’m not a fan of cloyingly sweet ham glazes—this one leans more savory with just enough sweetness to balance it out. It’s flavorful without being overpowering and pairs perfectly with the salty richness of the ham. Leftovers also make an excellent ham salad; you can find that recipe on the blog as well.

Ingredients

• 8-10 lb Bone-in smoked ham( I prefer spiraled)
• 1/4 cup Pineapple juice
• 2 tbsp Creole Mustard

• 1 cup Brown Sugar
• 1/4 cup Blue Plate Mayonnaise
• 1/4 cup Creole( or stone ground ) Mustard
• 1/2 cup Pineapple Juice
• 1/4 cup Apple Cider Vinegar
• 1 tbsp Black Pepper
• 1 tbsp Onion Powder
• 1 tbsp Garlic Powder
• 1 tbsp Chili Powder
• 1 tsp Smoked Paprika
• 1/8 tsp Cayenne Pepper
• 2 tbsp Red Wine Vinegar

Instructions

1. Take ham out of the fridge 1 hour prior.
2. Preheat oven to 325°F.
3. Combine Creole mustard and pineapple juice. Brush over ham.
4. If your ham has a plastic disk on the bone, this should be removed and discarded. Place the ham, flat side down in a roasting pan, and cover tightly with foil. Roast 12-15 minutes per pound (or according to package directions).
5. Meanwhile, while the ham is cooking, prepare the glaze.
6. Combine all ingredients for glaze in a small bowl and combine. Let rest for 20 minutes and stir again to make sure everything is combined.
7. Remove ham from the oven and turn the oven up to 425°F.
8. Brush with glaze( I like to put it in between the slices and on the outside) return to the oven. Cook for about 10 minutes or until the glaze is caramelized.
9. Let ham cool for 15-20 minutes. While ham cools, make the sauce.
10. Carefully pour the pan and glaze drippings that have gathered on the bottom of the roaster pan into a small saucepan. Bring to a simmer and simmer gently for about 15 minutes or until the sauce thickens slightly.
11. Serve ham slices of ham with a drizzle of sauce.

Notes

Optional Slow Cooker–Only Method (No Oven)

If you want to skip the oven:

• Brush glaze over the ham during the last 30 minutes of slow cooking.
• Leave the lid slightly ajar to help the glaze tighten (it won’t fully caramelize but will still taste great).

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Bénédicte à la Dinde

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and you’ve still got family to feed—and a fridge full of leftovers. Instead of serving a repeat of yesterday’s meal, this Bénédicte à la Dinde turns those leftovers into something completely new. In under 30 minutes, you can have a restaurant-quality brunch made entirely from what’s already on hand.

For anyone wondering about the name: dinde is the French word for turkey, so a Cajun family would naturally call this a Bénédicte à la Dinde instead of a Turkey Benedict.

Ingredients

• 2 cups cornbread dressing ( see blog for recipe )
• 1 egg( lightly scrambled)
• 3 tbl unsalted butter
• 8 thick slices of Turkey breast
• 1/2 cup cranberry sauce with berries
• 4 eggs
• 1/2-1 cup mock Hollandaise Sauce

• 1/2 cup Blue Plate Mayonnaise
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1/2 cup melted unsalted butter
• 2 tsps lemon juice
• 4 dashes of hot sauce
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 tsp fresh cracked pepper

Instructions

1. Combine all the Hollandaise ingredients in a small bowl and set aside while you prepare the remaining components.
2. Combine the dressing and egg in a separate bowl. Form the mixture into four patties and arrange them on a plate
3. Melt the butter in a heavy-bottomed skillet over medium-high heat. When it begins to sizzle, add the patties—working in batches if necessary to avoid overcrowding. Cook for 4–5 minutes, until well browned on the bottom, then flip and continue cooking until the second side is browned. Transfer the patties to a paper towel–lined plate.
4. Crack the eggs into a small bowl or ramekin. Set aside.
5. Fill a saucepan about two-thirds full with water and bring it to a gentle simmer. Add a tablespoon of vinegar. Using a spoon, stir the water in a circular motion until it continues swirling on its own.
6. Gently add the eggs one at a time and poach for about 2 minutes, or until the whites are set and wrapped around the yolks. Remove with a slotted spoon and transfer to a plate. (And if you don’t trust your poaching skills, don’t worry—no one will be upset if you fry the eggs instead.)
7. Assemble the Benedict: Start with a dressing patty as the base. Top with two slices of turkey, about 1/8 cup of cranberry sauce, one poached egg, and 1/8 cup-1/4 cup of Hollandaise.
8. Garnish with a sprinkle of paprika and chopped green onions, then serve immediately.

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Jolie Meaux

" After the boil" Cottage Pie

It never fails we put too many extras in our crawfish boils. Tired of throwing them away or making soup? I came up with this recipe to change it up a bit and prevent waste, You can mix and match the filllings and if there are not enough potatoes just boil a few for the topping.

Ingredients

• 1 lb smoked sausage, diced small
• 1 boil onion. diced small
• 1/2 cup boil mushrooms, thinly sliced
• 1 can Rotel
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 tablespoons flour
• 1 tablespoon Cajun seasoning(adjust or omit if you are using leftovers from a spicy boil)
• 1 cup beef broth
• 1 tablespoon tomato paste
• 1/2 cup boil corn kernels
• 4-5 boiled potatoes
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1/4 lb shredded cheddar cheese
• 1/4 cup green onions, thinly sliced

Instructions

1. Melt 3 tbsps of butter in large skillet or cast iron
2. Whisk in flour and cook for about 5 minutes
3. Slowly whisk in beef broth
4. Add seasoning if needed
5. Whisk in tomato paste
6. Add onions, sausage, mushrooms and Rotel.
7. Cook for about 10 minutes to allow the mixture to thicken, turn off and let cool for about 15 minutes.

1. Using warm potatoes, place through a potato ricer or mash in a large bowl.
2. Add butter and milk to warm potatoes ( if not using leftover boil potatoes add salt and pepper)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Layer bottom of 12 inch casserole with meat mixture( the size of the pan will depend on your amount of leftovers
3. Top with corn kernels
4. Gently spread potato mixture over meat and corn mixture
5. Top with shredded cheese and sprinkle with green onions
6. Bake for 20-25 minutes until top is bubbly and slightly browned.
7. Let cool for 10 minutes and slice and serve.

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Oatmeal Pecan Cookies

Ingredients

• 1 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 2 cups brown sugar, packed
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp Steens cane syrup or molasses
• 2 medium eggs
• 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 3 cups old fashioned oats
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 F
2. In a medium bowl place butter and brown sugar, beat with a mixer until smooth.
3. Add vanilla and syrup. Beat until combined.
4. Add eggs one at a time. Beat after each egg until incorporated. Scrape the bowl between additions.
5. In a separate bowl combine flour, salt and baking soda by hand.
6. Add flour mixture to butter mixture in three batches. Beat and scrape between each addition. Beat until combined and smooth.
7. Add oats and pecans. Mix gently by hand until thoroughly combined.
8. On a greased or parchment lined cookie sheet drop heaped tablespoons of batter. Place batter a couple inches apart.
9. Bake for 12-15 minutes until bottom has a nice browned ring.
10. Let cool for a couple minutes. With a spatula remove and place on plate or in a airtight container.

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Creamy Broccolli Cheddar Potato Soup

Yield: 6-8Author: Jolie MeauxThis creamy comforting soup not only provides you with a serving of veggies it also eliminates waste by using broccoli stems. To make it a full meal, serve it with open-faced ham and cheese.Cook modePrevent screen from turning offCook modePrevent screen from turning off

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup unsalted butter
• 1 medium sweet onion, diced
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 5 cups chicken stock
• 1 1/2 cups peeled and diced russet potatoes
• 3 cups chopped broccoli florets
• 2 cups broccoli stems peeled and diced
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• Hot sauce- to taste
• 1 tbsp Dijon mustard
• 8 ounces shredded extra-sharp cheddar cheese, about 2 cups

Instructions

1. Melt butter in a large stockpot or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion, and cook, stirring frequently, until translucent, about 2-3 minutes.
2. Stir in garlic until fragrant, about 1 minute.
3. Add salt and pepper, stir and cook for 1 minute
4. Stir in chicken stock, scraping any browned bits from the bottom of the pot.
5. Stir in potatoes and broccoli stems. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer until potatoes are tender, about 20 minutes.
6. Add half of broccoli florets and simmer for another 10 minutes until tender
7. Turn off the heat and let the soup cool. Use a stick blender and puree the mixture until smooth. If you don't have a stick blender, puree the soup in a regular blender in batches until smooth. * Please make sure the soup is cooled off some. Believe me, hot soup in the face is no fun. Ask me how I know.
8. Stir in the other half of the broccoli florets and bring to a simmer. Cover and cook until tender, about 8-10 minutes. Add Heavy cream, mustard, and hot sauce. and combine. Remove from heat.
9. Stir in cheese, a handful at a time, until smooth, about 1-2 minutes; season with more salt and pepper, to taste.
10. Serve immediately.

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Tag @porchwineandgravy on instagram and hashtag it ##oatmealpecancookies.

Creamy Broccolli Cheddar Potato Soup

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup unsalted butter
• 1 medium sweet onion, diced
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 5 cups chicken stock
• 1 1/2 cups peeled and diced russet potatoes
• 3 cups chopped broccoli florets
• 2 cups broccoli stems peeled and diced
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• Hot sauce- to taste
• 1 tbsp Dijon mustard
• 8 ounces shredded extra-sharp cheddar cheese, about 2 cups

Instructions

1. Melt butter in a large stockpot or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion, and cook, stirring frequently, until translucent, about 2-3 minutes.
2. Stir in garlic until fragrant, about 1 minute.
3. Add salt and pepper, stir and cook for 1 minute
4. Stir in chicken stock, scraping any browned bits from the bottom of the pot.
5. Stir in potatoes and broccoli stems. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer until potatoes are tender, about 20 minutes.
6. Add half of broccoli florets and simmer for another 10 minutes until tender
7. Turn off the heat and let the soup cool. Use a stick blender and puree the mixture until smooth. If you don't have a stick blender, puree the soup in a regular blender in batches until smooth. * Please make sure the soup is cooled off some. Believe me, hot soup in the face is no fun. Ask me how I know.
8. Stir in the other half of the broccoli florets and bring to a simmer. Cover and cook until tender, about 8-10 minutes. Add Heavy cream, mustard, and hot sauce. and combine. Remove from heat.
9. Stir in cheese, a handful at a time, until smooth, about 1-2 minutes; season with more salt and pepper, to taste.
10. Serve immediately.

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“One day you realize you can’t do everything and that’s not okay, but it will have to do”

Potato Salad Croquettes

Ingredients

• 2 lb russet potatoes, boiled and cubed
• 4 boiled eggs, finely chopped
• 1/2 cup yellow onions, small dice
• 1/4 cup celery, small dice
• 1/4 cup green bell pepper, small dice
• 2 Tbsps green onions, thinly sliced
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 2 tbsp Creole mustard
• 1 tbsp yellow mustard
• 1 tsp hot sauce
• 1 tbsp Creole/Cajun seasoning
• 2 cups flour
• 2 eggs slightly beaten
• 2 cups Panko breadcrumbs
• 2 tsps-to taste Creole/Cajun seasoning
• Vegetable oil for frying

Instructions

1. In a large bowl, place the cooked potatoes and mash using a fork until slightly smooth. Add the sliced eggs, onions, bell peppers, celery, and green onions. Add the mayonnaise, mustards, hot sauce, and seasonings. Combine everything.
2. Form about 1 1/2 to 2 heaping tablespoons of potato mixture into a ball. Repeat with the rest of the potato mixture (the recipe should yield about 10-12 croquettes). Place croquette balls on a plate and let chill in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes.
3. Once the croquettes are cooled and firm, coat each ball with all-purpose flour, egg, and Panko breadcrumbs. Repeat these steps with each croquette ball.
4. Heat about 1/2 inch of oil in a pan on high heat. Once the oil is hot enough, moderate the temperature and fry the croquettes on all sides for about 2-3 minutes until golden brown. Remove from heat and drain off excess oil.

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Homemade Lime Curd

Ingredients

• 1/2 Cup of Butter.
• 3/4 Cup of Lime Juice.
• 1 Cup Granulated Sugar.
• 2 Large Eggs.
• 3 Large Egg Yolks.
• 1 Tablespoon Lime Zest

Instructions

1. Begin by zesting the limes until you have approximately 1 tablespoon of zest. Be careful not to go too deep, you want only the bright green part of the rind. Set aside.
2. Juice enough limes until you have 3/4 cup of juice.
3. In a medium-size glass or ceramic bowl, whisk the eggs and egg yolks until smooth. Set aside.
4. Add the butter, sugar and lime juice to a medium-size, non-reactive pot. Heat on medium-low heat just until the butter is melted and the sugar is dissolved.
5. Pour the warmed lime mixture in a slow, steady stream into the eggs while whisking continuously, until the mixture and eggs are fully combined. Then return the combined mixture to the pot.
6. Heat the lime curd over medium-low heat while continuing to stir slowly until the mixture has thickened and coats the back of a spoon. This can take 10 - 15 minutes. If you have a candy thermometer, you want the mixture to reach between 160 F and 170 F. Do not let the curd boil.
7. Remove the lime curd from the heat and stir in the lime zest.
8. Pour the curd into heat-safe jars or containers and refrigerate until fully cooled and set. 6 - 8 hours or overnight. Then serve as desired.

1. It is important that the curd is heated slowly and not allowed to boil. Boiling the curd can result in a grainy texture and eggy flavor. If you prefer your curd a bit sweeter, you can increase the sugar by 1/4 cup. Prepared curd should last up to two weeks when stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator. If you want your lime curd to have brighter green color, you can add a tiny drop of green food coloring while heating, but before the curd has thickened.

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This combination perfectly captures the iconic purple, green, and gold of the Carnival season.

Ube Cheesecake topped with Lime Curd w/ Coconut crust

Ingredients

• 2 Cups Vanilla Cookie Crumbs, 2 boxes Vanilla Wafers.
• 1/2 Cup Unsweetened Coconut Flakes.
• 1/4 Cup Granulated Sugar.
• 1/4 Teaspoon Kosher Salt.
• 1/2 Cup Unsalted Butter.

• 32 oz Full-Fat Cream Cheese, room temperature (4 blocks).
• 1 Cup Granulated Sugar.
• 1/4 Cup Cornstarch.
• 1/3 cup Ube Halaya.
• 4 Large Eggs. Room temperature, whisked.
• 1 Tablespoon Vanilla.
• 1 Cup Full-Fat Sour Cream. Room temperature.
• 1 - 2 Teaspoons Ube Extract.

• 4 Cups Whipping Cream
• 1 Cup Icing Sugar (Confectioners Sugar)
• 4 Tsp Gelatin
• 5 Tbsp Cold Water
• 2 Tsp Vanilla Extract

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F / 177 C
2. Prepare a 9-inch springform pan by adding a piece of parchment paper to the bottom of the pan clipping it in (cut excess off around the edges). Then, spray the sides with nonstick cooking spray and add 2 - 3 strips of parchment paper along the sides to cover it completely. I like to have mine come just above the lip of the pan.

1. Pulse the vanilla cookies, sugar, coconut and salt until fine and sandy. Then, add in the melted butter and pulse until all crumbs are completely moistened. 2 cups vanilla cookie crumbs,1/2 cup unsweetened coconut flakes, 1/4 cup granulated sugar, 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt, 1/2 cup unsalted butter.
2. Add the crumbs to the springform pan(I line the bottom with parchment paper) and use a 1/3 cup measuring cup to press the crumbs into the bottom and sides. Start by pushing the crumbs to the sides and pressing it about 3/4 way up the pan. Then, press down in the center until it's completely compacted.
3. Bake for 10 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool while you make the cheesecake layer.
4. Lower the oven temperature to 300 F / 149 C and add an empty casserole dish to the bottom rack of the oven. Set a pot of water to boil and pour into the casserole dish once boiling.

1. Add the softened cream cheese to the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment (or use a hand mixer) and mix on low until it's broken down and creamy. Scrape down the sides. 32 oz full-fat cream cheese.
2. Mix together the sugar and cornstarch in a bowl, then add to the cream cheese and mix on low until fully combined. Add the ube halaya and mix again until evenly distributed. Scrape down the sides again. 1 cup granulated sugar, 1/4 cup cornstarch, 1/3 cup ube halaya.
3. Crack the eggs into a separate bowl and whisk to break down. Add the vanilla into the eggs. With the mixer running on low speed, drizzle in the eggs and mix until fully incorporated. 4 large eggs,1 tablespoon vanilla.
4. Scrape down the sides one more time, then add the sour cream and mix on low until incorporated. Add 1-2 teaspoons of ube extract and mix again to deepen the color (and flavor). Use a rubber spatula to mix one more time by hand to remove any air bubbles. Tap it on the counter a few times then let it sit for about 5 minutes. 1 cup full-fat sour cream,1-2 teaspoons ube extract.
5. Pour the cheesecake batter into the crust and use your spatula to smooth it out to meet the edges. Bake in the center rack for 1 hour 45 minutes.
6. Turn off the oven and crack it open slightly for 1 hour. Transfer the cheesecake to a wire rack and cool at room temperature for 30 minutes. Finally, transfer to the fridge (uncovered) and chill for at least 8 hours.
7. Top with Lime curd(recipe below) and border with stabilized whip cream or serve just the way it is.

1. Sprinkle the gelatin over the water and allow to bloom for 5 - 10 minutes.
2. Melt the gelatin in microwave for 5 seconds. Do a further 3 - 5 seconds if it has not completely dissolved. You want to ensure there is no un-melted gelatin.
3. Allow the melted gelatin to cool slightly.
4. Once gelatin has cooled slightly add about 2 tbsp of cream and mix. If your gelatin gets too cold, heat again in the microwave for 5 seconds.
5. Use a cold mix bowl to whip your cream to soft peaks either using a hand mixer or stand mixer.
6. Sieve in your icing sugar, use a hand whisk to gently combine.
7. Then add the vanilla extract, use the hand whisk to gently combine.
8. Use the mixer on low and drizzle in the gelatin. Mix until the whipped cream forms into stiff peaks.
9. Be careful not to over whip your cream.

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Homemade Lime Curd

Ingredients

• 1/2 Cup of Butter.
• 3/4 Cup of Lime Juice.
• 1 Cup Granulated Sugar.
• 2 Large Eggs.
• 3 Large Egg Yolks.
• 1 Tablespoon Lime Zest

Instructions

1. Begin by zesting the limes until you have approximately 1 tablespoon of zest. Be careful not to go too deep, you want only the bright green part of the rind. Set aside.
2. Juice enough limes until you have 3/4 cup of juice.
3. In a medium-size glass or ceramic bowl, whisk the eggs and egg yolks until smooth. Set aside.
4. Add the butter, sugar and lime juice to a medium-size, non-reactive pot. Heat on medium-low heat just until the butter is melted and the sugar is dissolved.
5. Pour the warmed lime mixture in a slow, steady stream into the eggs while whisking continuously, until the mixture and eggs are fully combined. Then return the combined mixture to the pot.
6. Heat the lime curd over medium-low heat while continuing to stir slowly until the mixture has thickened and coats the back of a spoon. This can take 10 - 15 minutes. If you have a candy thermometer, you want the mixture to reach between 160 F and 170 F. Do not let the curd boil.
7. Remove the lime curd from the heat and stir in the lime zest.
8. Pour the curd into heat-safe jars or containers and refrigerate until fully cooled and set. 6 - 8 hours or overnight. Then serve as desired.

1. It is important that the curd is heated slowly and not allowed to boil. Boiling the curd can result in a grainy texture and eggy flavor. If you prefer your curd a bit sweeter, you can increase the sugar by 1/4 cup. Prepared curd should last up to two weeks when stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator. If you want your lime curd to have brighter green color, you can add a tiny drop of green food coloring while heating, but before the curd has thickened.

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Fresh Summer Corn Salad

Ingredients

• 4 - 5 Ears of Corn.
• 1 Cup Thinly Sliced Red Onions.
• 1 Cucumber Sliced.
• 12 Thinly Sliced Radishes.
• 3 Roma Tomatoes, Seeded and Cubed.
• 1/2 Cup of Sliced Green Onions.
• 1/2 tsp Freshly Ground Pepper.
• 1/2 Tbsp Creole Seasoning.
• 5 Tbsp Steen's Vinegar.
• 5 Tbsp Good Olive Oil.

Instructions

1. In a large pot of boiling water, cook the corn for 3 minutes until the starchiness is just gone. Drain and immerse it in ice water to stop the cooking and to set the color. When the corn is cool, cut the kernels off the cob, cutting close to the cob.
2. In a large bowl combine the corn kernels, tomatoes, cucumber, red onions, radishes, vinegar, olive oil, pepper and creole seasoning. Just before serving, add green onions.

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Spicy Three Pepper Chili

Ingredients

• 3 Tbsp Canola Oil
• 1 cup onion diced
• 2 Jalapenos, diced
• 1 Poblano pepper , diced
• 1 Serrano pepper, diced
• 5 garlic cloves minced
• 1 lb Ground Beef
• 6 14.5 oz cans Diced Tomatoes
• 2 Tbsp Ancho Chili powder
• 1/4 cup dark Chili powder
• 2 Tbsp Chili Lime seasoning
• 1 Tbsp Cumin
• 1 Tbsp Black pepper
• 1/2 Tbsp Garlic powder
• 1/2 Tbsp Cayenne pepper
• 1 can red Kidney beans
• * stock for thinning if needed

Instructions

1. Put oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat
2. Add the onion and peppers and cook until softened
3. Add garlic and cook for 30 seconds
4. Add the Beef and cook until browned through
5. Add tomatoes and combine
6. Add spices and thoroughly combine
7. Bring to a simmer, simmer for about an hour
8. Add stock if you need to, then add a can of beans
9. Simmer for another hour, then serve.

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Sweet Tea Marinated Duck with a Fig Satsuma Glaze and a Six-Spice Caramelized Onions

Ingredients

• Duck Brine:
• 2 cups Orange PekoeTea Brewed from 2 tea bags
• 2 tbsp Kosher Salt
• 2 tbsp Brown Sugar
• Fig Satsuma Tea Glaze:
• 1/2 cup Orange Pekeo Tea Brewed from 1 tea bag
• 1/2 cup Fig Preserves
• 1/4 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper
• 1 tbsp Satsuma or Tangerine Zest
• Pinch of Salt
• 1 lb Duck Breasts 2 big or 3 smaller
• Caramelized Onions:
• 2 large Red Onions, thinly sliced
• 1/2 tbsp Five Spice Powder
• 1/4-1/2 tsp Cayenne Pepper( adjust to preferred spice level)
• 2 tbsp Vegetable Oil
• 2 tbsp Butter
• 6 teaspoon Fig Preserves
• Baguette, sliced and toasted

Instructions

1. Duck Brine
2. Combine all the ingredients and let them cool off. Then place the duck breasts into a Ziploc bag, pour in the brine, close it, place in a bowl, and refrigerate overnight.
3. The next day you will have to remove the duck breast from the brine a few hours before cooking and pat them dry. Place them onto a plate in the refrigerator, uncovered, to let the skin dry
4. Fig Satsuma Tea Glaze
5. In a small saucepan add the tea and bring to a simmer over low heat.
6. Add half a cup of fig preserves.
7. Add a pinch of salt and Cayenne pepper
8. Cook for approximately 15-20 minutes on low heat, until the glaze sticks to the back of your spoon and most of the liquid has evaporated. Set aside and cook Duck Breast.
9. Score the duck skin in a 1/8 inch cross pattern Be careful to only score the skin but not the meat. You need to do this in order to let the fat render out from the skin.
10. Place your duck breast skin side down on a cold, cast iron or stainless steel skillet. Turn the heat on your stove to medium and place a weighted object on top of the duck. Cook for 10- 12 minutes until golden brown. As the fat renders try gently removing it from the pan.
11. Once it is golden brown, flip and cook on the other side for 1 minute.
12. As it cooks baste with glaze.
13. Remove from the skillet and let it rest for 10 minutes before slicing.
14. While breasts rest make caramelized onions
15. In a skillet over medium heat add oil and bring to almost smoking. Add onions.
16. Cook onions continuously stirring after about 5 minutes add butter. Cook until onions have softened and turned golden brown. Remove from heat.
17. Slice your breast into 1/4-inch slices.
18. Top Baguette slices with a small amount of caramelized onions and sliced duck breasts 1/2 teaspoon of preserves. green onions and chopped pecans.

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We are on the road headed to Nova Scotia, so I have to do short write ups when the children give me a mom moment:

Since I haven’t been to Ireland my Irish experience involves meeting Irish natives. Strangely enough I met my first Irishman in Paris. On a train leaving Paris to be exact. I don’t think either of us knew why we were attracted to each other. We were both promised to others and even if we were single there was no romantic attraction. We were just drawn to each other.

After many drinks on the train we decided that we needed to see the South of France. Why not do it together? Off we went, new best friends away on our poorly planned adventures. We stumbled off the train in Nice. First, more drinks. Don’t try to keep up with an Irishman. It’s doesn’t end well, for you, they will be fine. Deciding that we must see the beach we both realized we needed bathing suits. A local directed us to a part of town where we could buy suits for a reasonable price. The selection was small but we found ones that fit and would suffice.

We headed to the beach in our new rags. It’s didn’t take long to notice us being noticed. I’m not talking “Oh look tourist” stares it was full on glaring. After a short stroll down the beach we headed to a little cafe. Our server cleared up why we were so popular. He looked at us and in your best judge French accent said “ You are very white, why did you were those?” Seems our choice if bright red bathing suits being two blue eyed freckles beauties made our paleness pierce their eyes with our brightness.

If you ever go to the South if France you will see why. They are all the color of well cooked caramel. Don’t worry about us though. The bright decision to have drinks and pass out on the beach got us a equal color to our suits.

We went from sticking out for shining like the moon to managing to be the red version of the blue man group. Funny thing we started the day white/red/white and at the end day red/white/red. You have heard of reversible clothing? Seems we found out a way to do that with our skin.

He may have been able to drink me under the table. This day proved sooner or later the world will find a way to even y’all out. So if you go to the South France bring your favorite Irishman, sunblock and enough drinks to snicker back at the French caramels.

Cajun Bangers and Mash

Ingredients

• 1-11/2 lbs Fresh Sausage
• 2 tbs oil or fat
• 4 tablespoons butter
• 3 medium onions, thinly sliced
• 4 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 1 (14.5 ounce) can chicken stock
• ½ cup red wine
• 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 Tbsp Cajun Seasoning
• salt and ground black pepper to taste

Instructions

1. In a heavy cast iron pot pour just enough cooking oil to cover the bottom of the cooking vessel. When the oil is hot (but not smoking), add the whole links of sausage and brown each piece thoroughly. Prick small holes in the sausage as it browns. Don’t try to rush this part. The key here is to really brown the links thoroughly. The brown bits at the bottom( Gremilles, Gradoux, debris) are what give the gravy its color and flavor which is essential to making a good Cajun gravy.
2. Once all the links are browned remove and set aside. Add your slices onion Sauté them for about 5 minutes until they just start to brown. Add the garlic and continue to sauté for another 30 seconds or so. Add Sausage back to the pot with accumulated juices. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes.
3. Remove sausages from pot and set aside. Cook onions down until thick and caramelized. Add flour and stir and cook for at least 3 minutes. Add broth to deglaze the pot. Add Thyme and stir.
4. Cut sausage in small links and add it back to the pot. Add more broth to cover 3/4 of the sausage. Add in butter, Dijon mustard and red wine. and bring to a simmer. Let simmer for 15 minutes. Check for seasoning levels and add Cajun seasoning, Salt and Pepper to your taste.
5. * Serve with mashed potatoes and sprig with Green Onions.

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I have heard the terms Culture Appropriation or Culture Vulture, I just never thought I would have any personal contact with it. As you can tell by name and location I am of Cajun descent. Most of my family was born and raised in Louisiana. Our ancestors were the Acadians that arrived here after the grand derangement, the expulsion of the Acadians from 1755-1764. As a child being Cajun didn’t seem that special, it seemed almost everyone was Cajun or Creole. Our communities were just healing and starting to preserve our culture from those who would try to destroy it. I was taught to be wary of outsiders who come and tell us we needed to be like everyone else. Being distinct with language, food, music, and culture was a bad thing and we need to fit in with their so-called idea of what America is.

Expulsion of the Acadians - Wikipedia

My move out of Louisiana was the first time I felt that being Cajun was something that garnered attention. I got the usual dumb questions. Do you take boats to school? Do you all go to school? How is it to live in the swamps? Also, the assumptions. Apparently, the only place in Louisiana is New Orleans, we are all uneducated, racists, and so on. I usually responded that “Maybe they should educate themselves a little more” Here is a list of Universities in Louisiana just make sure to get you a sturdy boat and a big stick to beat off all those gators.

After hopping around California with occasional headrests in other states I decided to head home. I came back to Lafayette for College. Being in my early 20s I didn’t focus much on any change and all my friends that weren’t from here were in school with me. My nomad soul led me away again. this time much closer and I headed to New Orleans. Fast forward many many years later and an exhausted mom of three decides to move home.

In my absence, Cajun had become cool. As the years passed, I began to appreciate the resurgence of preserving Cajun/Creole culture. It made me proud that I had preserved and researched many of our culinary traditions. On the other hand, I was ashamed that I had not kept up with the language, something I am currently working on. Another thing I noticed is how many people were coming here to not destroy the culture but to absorb it.

At the moment I am having an internal battle with what is appreciation as opposed to appropriation. Now before anybody gets ahead of themselves this is not going to be a bash blog post. It is more about my confusion about how to feel. some of my favorite people aren’t from here or Cajun. Of course, we need others, we need people to have an interest and come here and invest their time and money to not only keep our economy going but also all the organizations that focus on preservation.

It’s this other small percentage that is getting in my crawl. People profiting that isn’t participating. I get it they realize well that’s unique and different I bet I can sell that. The problem is what have you done to earn that right? Do you participate? Do you even know the history? The history of the Cajun and Creoles isn’t all rainbows and gumbo. Do you know why that costume is made that way? Or why that recipe was only made at certain times of the year? Where did that catchphrase, you love so much start?

I learned all the things you are copying by watching my community and family do it. I got to hear histories and instructions with my own ears. I watched aging hands stir roux and play fiddles. I heard the elders speak French at the feed and seed. I have not appreciated my own culture enough and I am trying to fix that. The more history I learn it becomes painful to someone take from our ancestors who fought just to exist. How many similarities there are between the people who tried to destroy the culture are now the ones trying to steal it?

What I want to say is, I am sorry if your Blatantly bland life is disappointing you. Go, soul, search for your Counterculture Karen identity and leave the rest of us alone. Other people’s cultures are not to take they are there to appreciate. Then I think am I just being too sensitive? Is it because it hits too close to home? I cook and write recipes from all over the world. While I try to be respectful and learn about what I am cooking, I’ve also served these foods at popups. Which means I am making a profit. Am I the wolf in sheep’s clothing sitting in my glass house with a hand full of rocks?

I love how my friends from other places immerse and celebrate the beauty and pain that is Louisiana. I invite them to sit at my dinner table because I want to learn about them as much as they want to learn about me. This is my state of confusion. Is this a me problem? Am I angry and bitter because people I trusted have taken my ideas and hard work and profited while I still struggle? I can compete with anyone when it comes to hard work. What is harder to beat is whether ones have the wealth or the ability to deceive to support an idea or dream that one has taken from someone else. Am I projecting this personal anger onto culture vultures so that I don’t have to look at my own mistakes?

To all the other cultures that are having this happen but magnified by a million times, I am sorry. I am not going to say I even understand what this feels like amplified because just a fraction of it made me write a whole blog post about it.

Fresh Sausage Rice and Gravy

Ingredients

• 1 lb Fresh Sausage
• 1 onion, small dice
• 4 cloves of garlic, minced
• 2 tbsp fat or oil
• 2-4 cups Beef, Pork or Chicken Broth
• Cajun Seasoning
• Salt
• Pepper

Instructions

1. In a heavy cast iron pot pour just enough cooking oil to cover the bottom of the cooking vessel. When the oil is hot (but not smoking), add the whole links of sausage and brown each piece thoroughly. Prick small holes in the sausage as it browns. Don’t try to rush this part. The key here is to really brown the links thoroughly. The brown bits at the bottom( Gremilles, Gradoux, debris) are what give the gravy its color and flavor which is essential to making a good Cajun gravy.
2. Once all the links are browned remove and set aside. Add your chopped onion Sauté them for about 10 minutes or until the onions are very translucent and starting to brown. Add the garlic and continue to sauté for another 30 seconds or so. Add broth to deglaze the pot. Cut sausage in small links and add it back to the pot. Add enough broth to cover 3/4 of the sausage and bring to a simmer. Stir and place a lid on the pot. Check every 15 minutes and use a wooden spoon to gently stir and scrape off any then bits that stick to the bottom. Simmer for about 45 minutes. Add broth occasionally, as needed, to keep the meat from sticking and to make sure you end up with enough liquid to make a gravy.
3. Once the sausage is ready check your gravy for seasoning. Since the sausage is already seasoned I wait until the end to see what I need to add. I usually add a little cajun seasoning, salt, and pepper.
4. This is a thinner gravy. If you would prefer a thicker gravy you can add a cornstarch slurry to it and let it simmer. Try it first thin, please. This is called a grease gravy here and it really can hold its own.

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]]>Fresh Sausage Rice and Gravy/ Culture Vulture?SimpleBase recipeMain DishJolie MeauxFri, 23 Jun 2023 18:28:25 +0000https://www.porchwineandgravy.com/blog/2022/6/22/caesar-salad-whomemade-croutons-soldier-down58bb2893a5790a1de0c1c0d2:58df448dbf629afc261009c8:62b39f419c17ab621f4d750a jump to recipe

Our next stop is Durango, if I wanted a non-tourist town I sure got it. We decided to walk around town as we waited to check into our hotel. The looks we got from the locals made it very apparent that they did not get a lot of tourists. Don’t get me wrong they were all very nice. You could just tell that they were not used to random white people just walking down their streets and in their grocery stores.

Our hotel was definitely a lucky find. It was once a prison that had been renovated into a hotel. Inside In it was a restaurant that was mainly filled with businessmen. They seem to be Durango’s main visitors. A strange sight of buttoned-up American men speaking perfect casual Spanish. Here we had the famed Mexican Caesar salad, and it did not disappoint. The waiter made it table side, and it was the best, Caesar salad I think I’ve ever had.

The next day we left for what we thought would be our last stop in Mexico, Monterey. We were wrong, very wrong. On the way we did have the adventure of Chris deciding that he wanted to see where the other road (not toll road) lead to. I informed him that we were too old to make this kind of dumb decision. Nonetheless, he had to see what the free road was like. It is a free road but nothing is free and I started to feel the toll for this trip was very unpleasant. As night fell, we pulled into these tiny towns where our very white rental car filled with very white people was very noticeable. I’m not one not to turn down an adventure but I do know my limits when locals are looking at you like “Are you f’ing crazy?” It’s best to seek adventure elsewhere. I informed him that he was to get back on the toll road or he would be living in this town now. Knowing him they would have elected him Mayor within a couple of months. Me? Not as gregarious and tend to have a resting aggravated face so it’s best I don’t test the waters.

Once back on our privileged people's path, we headed to Monterey. Our first thought was to head to the airport and return the rental car and book a flight. On the way there we found out what driving in populated Mexico was like. Watching buses off-road on the sides of highways while their passengers casually looked at their phones. We were silly and assumed lanes and turn signals still existed. In Monterey, they are just slight suggestions. We were ready to be done driving, or Chris was I am definitely a passenger princess if given the chance.

What we didn’t know is that the new COVID rules had turned the system upside down and the airport looked like a scene from a zombie movie. Everybody trying to get out at the same time with no concern for their fellow man. Seems Chris will gladly go into strange maybe cartel-filled towns but he draws the line at crowded airports.

We booked a hotel to make a plan. Travel advice part: for a nice cheap trip go to Monterey. We got a three-star hotel for just under $30. Restaurants are everywhere there is even one run by Nuns(Don’t order too much it seems Nuns aren’t the most adventurous cooks). Monterey is full of beautiful museums and architecture. It was a pleasant surprise. After enjoying the day we needed a plan to get out. Lucky for us the Greyhound bus's last stop is Monterey. Bus tickets in hand we headed for the border. Once again the rumors of Mexico are not true. These buses were immaculate just like almost all the towns we had been to.

It’s a little bit of a hold-up at the border but nothing like the airports. I did have a moment at the border. The very nice border patrol officer complimented my purse. I went into a complete panic. I can feel my eyes start to go crazy and then start blurting out random words. He gives me a quizzical look and sends me on my way. Why do we do this? It’s like in school when you would get called to the office. Walking down the hallway slowly convincing yourself that you must have blacked out and done something terrible. Did I think that I had somehow become a member of the Cartel and just forgot?

We finally got across. Grabbed an Uber and headed to the airport. We decided to walk around until it was boarding time, and maybe find something to eat. Of course, a huge windstorm rolls in. So as my fair well gift to Mexico and the trip a giant wind gust blows my skirt over my head. Now y’all can surmise what everybody saw since I had not done laundry in two weeks. I guess it’s not officially a crazy trip until someone sees a bare ass.

One thing I didn’t mention is the amount of butts we saw in Mexico. We even started an album for it. Now that I think of it, my exit was a proper tribute to Mexico and all the butts we saw along the way. This ends a forty-year-old version of “On the Road”. If you were disappointed, you were supposed to be. We are middle age people with kids. “ What did you think was going to happen?”

Caesar Salad

Ingredients

• 2 Hearts of Romaine, chopped into bite-size pieces
• Homemade Croutons( recipe below)
• 2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
• 3 Garlic Cloves
• 2 Tablespoons Dijon Mustard
• 2 Tablespoons Worcestershire Sauce
• 2 Tablespoon Anchovy Paste, or 6 Anchovy fillets
• 2 Tablespoons Fresh Lime Juice
• 4 Egg Yolk
• 1 1/2 Cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 6 Tablespoons Parmesan Cheese, grated

• 1 loaf of bread, French or Italian loaf styles work best, cut into 3/4 inch cubes
• 1/4 cup Olive Oil
• 2 Teaspoons Italian Seasoning
• 1 1/2 Teaspoons Garlic Powder
• 3/4 Teaspoons Salt
• 1 Teaspoon Black Pepper

Instructions

1. In a food processor add garlic cloves, dijon mustard, Worcestershire sauce, anchovy paste, lime juice, and egg yolk. Pulse until everything is fully smooth and pureed together.
2. With the food processor on low slowly drizzle in olive oil. Process until the oil is incorporated.
3. Once done, scrape out the dressing into a bowl and stir in parmesan cheese.
4. Use half the dressing and pour over the chicken. Marinate in the fridge for at least 2 hours or overnight. Reserve the other half of the dressing.
5. Remove the chicken from the marinade. Place 1 tbsp of cooking oil in a heavy-bottomed skillet over medium-low heat. Add the breasts and cook for 5-8 minutes( the thicker the chicken the longer you cook). Flip the breasts over and cook until well browned and cooked through.
6. Remove chicken from skillet and let rest for at least 5 minutes. Slice chicken.
7. Drizzle dressing over lettuce and top with chicken, croutons and grated parmesan.

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
2. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside
3. Place bread cubes in a large bowl. Drizzle the olive oil evenly over the cubes. Sprinkle the Italian seasoning, garlic powder, salt, and pepper over the bread cubes. Toss until all is well combined.
4. Spread the cubes evenly onto the baking sheet.
5. Bake for 15-20 minutes until golden brown. Flip halfway through so they are equally toasted.
6. Remove from oven and let cool. If you store in an airtight container they should stay good for a week.

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Off we went, driving straight into the unknown and I immediately felt relief. Some of us function in an organized world and the rest of us can’t handle life unless a little chaos is mixed in. I not only function in chaos, but it also calms me. We started to backtrack and head toward the border. If we had to quarantine, why not make it an adventure? The plan was to just head to the next airport and avoid contact with anyone. Fueled by adventure and Adderall we were on our way.

The first lesson when you drive through Mexico, take the toll roads. They are incredibly safe. little traffic and wonderfully maintained. In the second lesson, get ready with that camera. We had no idea how beautiful this drive was going to be. As you drive you enter lush forests that open into rolling mountains.

My girls and I have been on three-month-long road trips and this one stands out. Our first stop was Los de Marcos. A tiny beach village that has all that someone who wants the beach without the tourist traps could desire. We just did a drive around and we knew this was going to be marked down under the category “ Visit here before the others find out”. Next stop Mazatlan. At this point, our home tests were negative so we were desperate for a real bed. Last minute booking landed us in a unique situation. Exhausted and road weary we parked and headed toward the door. Outside sitting on the curb was Lorraine puffing away. As we introduced ourselves she immediately decided that not only could we be trusted with entry we could hear all the juicy Canadian snowbird gossip. Apparently, Phil is always planning potluck nights just so he can put up sign-up sheets and wield his power, Irene is a “ you know what” and complains if she smells any smoke even though she barely leaves her room and plays her T.V. way too loud and avoid Jim and Nancy they don’t have proof but everybody knows they are swingers. All of this while she walked us down the halls of this historic building. My ears wanted to listen but my eyes were enraptured with all the beauty of this building. It felt like we were in a museum of Mexican architecture and design.

We bid Lorraine goodbye and headed to our room. As we left the next morning it felt as if we had broken into a retirement home, all eyes were on us. While Mazatlan seems to be mainly occupied by locals and seniors that spend their days sipping coffee and complaining it is still really beautiful and worth a stop.

Mex Tex Chicken Fried Steak with Roasted Green Chili Country Gravy

Ingredients

• 2 lbs Cube Steak( cut into 6-8 pieces)
• 1 tsp Kosher Salt
• 1 tsp Black Pepper
• 1/2 tsp Cumin
• 1/2 tsp Mexican Oregano
• 2 tsp Chipotle Chili Powder
• 1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
• 1/2 tsp Paprika
• 1 1/4 cup Flour
• 38 Saltine Crackers, finely crushed
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 2 tsp Salt
• 1/3 cup Whole Milk
• 2 Large Eggs, lightly beaten
• Vegetable Oil

• 2 tbsp lard or bacon drippings
• 1/4 cup Onion, finely diced
• 2 tbsp Flour
• 2 cups Whole Milk
• 2 large Green Chilis ( such as hatch, poblano or Anaheim) or sub a 4 oz can of diced green chilis.
• Salt and Pepper to taste

Instructions

1. Prepare cube steak, If it is too thick gently pound between parchment or plastic wrap it out to your desired thickness. ( I prefer thinner but others don't) Lightly season with salt and pepper. Set aside.
2. Combine seasonings in a small bowl. Lay out three shallow pans for breading. In two put crushed saltines, flour, baking powder, and salt, and split evenly. Combine seasonings in a small bowl and split between the cracker mixtures. Combine. In the third pan combine eggs and milk.
3. Place a wire rack on top of a cookie sheet. Lay out your breading station. In this order: cube steaks, cracker mixture, egg mixture, cracker mixture.
4. One at a time place cube steaks in the first cracker mixture and coat, move to egg mixture and coat, last proceed to the last cracker mixture and fully coat the steak. Place on wire rack. Let the steaks sit on the rack for 5-10 minutes to allow the mixture to bind.
5. In a large heavy-bottomed skillet add vegetable oil until it's halfway up the pan. Over medium-high heat get oil to 300 degrees( almost smoking). Place your first batch of cube steaks in the oil( Make sure to not crowd the pan). Fry until golden brown on both sides, about 3 minutes a side. Once done place on another wire rack on top of a cookie sheet and place in a warm oven while you cook the rest.
6. When done keep warm while you make the gravy.

1. Over an open flame char all sides of the peppers. Place the peppers in a paper bag and seal. Leave the peppers in until they cool. Once cool peel and seed. Finely dice and set aside.
2. Place lard in a medium saucepan or skillet over medium-high heat. Heat until almost smoking. Add onion and saute until soft and slightly golden.
3. Whisk flour into the onion mixture. Cook for two minutes, whisking constantly. Slowly whisk in milk. Whisking constantly while bringing the mixture to a boil. Reduce the temperature and bring it to a simmer. Simmer while whisking until gravy thickens. Add green chilis, salt, and pepper.

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I have never been a fan of tourist towns. Maybe it is because I am more pretentious than I would like to admit or maybe it is because most of my life I had to travel on such an extreme budget that I could not afford the popular spots. One of the great things about budget travel is you get used to things not going as planned and having to think on your feet. This would come in very handy on this trip, you don’t necessarily want to use all your travel expertise but it does come in handy that you have a lot to draw from when shit/Covid hits the fan.
    We had an uneventful cab ride into Puerto Vallarta, that is until we stopped at the airport. I had warned Chris about all the scams that happen in the larger towns. I thought I had seen most of them but this one was new to me. A taxi driver accuses you of hitting their door with your door. Of course, the police came and stood ominously in the corner and I stood back trying to let the men figure out what to do. I figured pretty quickly that if we stood our ground and showed little fear they would take whatever cash we had on hand. So that’s what we did.. Just know any of these “damage “ scams you can just keep saying “ This is all I have, take it or leave it” and they will end up accepting you have no more money and will settle. Now, I would have just walked away and said “ Fuck you, arrest me then” but I was traveling with a more level-headed person who made the decision that the $40 was not worth the risk of a Mexican jail.
    Done with scammers we were safe in the airport. Lies, the airport was packed to the gills. It was butt-to-butt packed. So glad they made us wear masks, and insert an eye roll. We pull out our tests Chris had a lab one and I had an at-home one. According to their website, it was allowed and the fact that Kelli flew back with the exact test as I had I didn’t predict a problem. A problem it turned out to be. I was rejected faster
     In a gentle voice, I was reassured I could head outside to the lab and told “it only takes 30 minutes. What they didn’t tell me was the line that wrapped around the tent. I’m sure I’m not ruining the suspense by telling you we were still in line while our plane took off. Having spent the last of our cash on scammers we headed out walking down the side of the interstate dragging our luggage behind us. I found a cheap room on Priceline and we were to make a plan. The mom's guilt and worry were weighing on me but there wasn’t much I could do trapped in a foreign country.
   We tried to distract ourselves with a very disappointing dinner in a planned tourist community. You know the kind. We know you want to come to a foreign country but do not actually feel like you are in a foreign country design. Here you go we have built you a quaint and rustic town. Nothing says a true Mexico experience like a Gucci store across from the very authentic Senor Frogs.
    Next morning means the next line. Is a vacation with me if you aren’t sitting on the sidewalk outside a pharmacy waiting for a COVID test while a group of Karens berates a worker for not having a VIP station? Would it be nice If Karen’s actually said the truth? Instead of “This is ridiculous I need a manager” they said “ Do you not see my Titliest half hat and this insanely even tan? This means I have money and you must treat me special.” COVID is the great equalizer of modern times. I’m sure you have surmised I was rewarded with a positive result.
    We discussed staying in Puerto Vallarta for the required 5-day quarantine. I’m not sure how Chris figured out why this was a bad idea. It could have been me repeating the phrase “ It will be fine, I’m sure it will be fine” over and over again or was it my endless rant about everything I hated in our surroundings? Either way, he got the hint like a brick to the head. Off he went to rent a car because apparently dealing with me in this mood was scarier than any stories of driving through Mexico on your own. Something I need to remind myself the next time insists I am not hard to deal with everyone else is just so sensitive.

Tex Mex Sloppy Joe

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp Olive oil
• 1/2 cup yellow onion, finely diced
• 1/4 cup red bell pepper, finely diced
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 tbsp cilantro, finely chopped
• 1/2 lb ground pork
• 1/2 lb Mexican chorizo
• 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• 2/3 cup crushed tomatoes or tomato sauce
• 1/2 cup beef broth
• 1/8 cup apple cider vinegar
• 2 tsp Mexican hot sauce

Instructions

1. In a medium bowl, combine Worcestershire sauce, tomatoes, brown sugar, apple cider vinegar, beef broth, and hot sauce. Whisk to combine and set aside.
2. Heat the oil in a heavy-bottomed skillet over medium-high heat. Add onions and peppers. Cook until veggies are soft. Add garlic and cilantro and cook for 30 seconds.
3. Add beef and cook until browned, crumble the beef as it cooks. Drain fat if needed.
4. Add sauce and bring to a simmer. Reduce heat to and simmer for 10-15 minutes until the sauce has thickened,
5. We serve this on toasted buns with avocado. queso fresco and pico de gallo. It goes well with anything you like with your tacos.

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