Power Of Words

Who Are You?

2010-08-28T12:33:00.000-07:00

In an effort to figure out how I survived this life, (odds stacked against me) I write, in search of keys. Today's key is about being authentic. This key unlocks easily when we practice honesty. If you are true to yourself, you are practicing being authentic. Honesty is most difficult with ourselves;as many things are just easier to tolerate than face. To walk in honesty is far from easy, equally painful as it is profound.When we begin experiencing our authentic self we become liberated. Liberated of the many split selves, selves on a shelf or selves in a box. These are just a facade like a multiple personality we use it to get by; conservative, clown, professional, democrat, Christian. Until we begin to pay true attention to ourselves, intent to know and release the creation called you~ no time to remain a clone. Who we think we are is usually wrong. Born out of various ideas we have adopted, or adapted to. Now it is time to begin on a course to finding who you really are, right now! We tend to misinterpret "who we are" for the "what we are." Two small words based around the same principals conditional to life. We confuse who we are,it is not what we own, or our station nor status. In reality this could not be further fom the truth.What we are is always changing, shifting, growing and just when you begin to think you understand it BLAMMO! God, nature, or both smack you upside the head; stunned, awake and more aware you will never learn everything stop acting like it . If you are a Catholic, is it because it exalts your very heart and soul? Do you feel humbled by gratitude,graced by faith so lucky to perceive its truth and beauty or because you where baptized at birth? Do you study your faith passionately, or is it just a motion-like routine? Knowledge of oneself empowers us with new tools for opportunities at freedom of choice. An example is how females & males are brought up, Women are to be polite and to respond in an appropriate manner,while men are taught to be brave strong and never cry. Play the field ect. These ways can be deceptive. In reality we only hold ourselves back by continuing to behave in contrived ways, long outgrown. We are raised to be polite, to respond in appropriate ways, ways which are deceptive. In reality we hold ourselves back in behaving only in contrived ways. To be authentic is to begin to know yourself. If you feel angry to be authentic would require that you be honest to yourself and others.Perhaps you worry that your parents won't like if if you are angry, friends may even find your problems cumbersome; not wanting to hear anything "negitive." These thoughts are not unusual, but they do not serve a higher purpose. It is one thing to bitch regularly; that gets old.It is another thing to speak your truth and use your voice, you are allowed to speak up and be heard.A true relationship requires true intimacy; in such intimacy we can trust and be trusted, unconditional of exception. We know we will always be accepted & loved, not abandoned. Be true to your emotions and qualify them. Once we let it flow freely (our feelings) we then need to relase our inner turmoil by learning to let go of the mind.

Steps

2010-08-27T13:45:00.000-07:00

Photo:

http://ianseattle.deviantart.com/

Always work hard to practice compassion- soon it will develop automatically, spend time in deep silence and learn inner peace, you will see beauty in everything- simply by removing cynical, negative habits. Remembering it is not always easy, so accept that, I don't want to lie, it takes much practice, for the rest of your life, anything less is a door shut.

Forget all you learned,Forget what they taught you, this is the first way to change your own life.Since you can't just erase it, here is the exercise you need to begin,Always stay open,never stop listening.When you experience a new realization, do not be cynical and hard on yourself for not getting it sooner,instead be excited and thankful for what you have learned.

Give up to the world, but do not give in the world.Do not believe yourself to the point of limitation,you should believe in yourself.One word and the way you perceive it, can make all the difference. Humankind's deepest wonders and beyond open up, when you let your guard down. For although nature and science are seemingly complex, the key is found in silence, soon you will find answers, not confounded by chaos, just pure, in simplicity.

Life, and its meaning seem simple enough- life is for living. Life it blooms when we choose to face a new day. Face each day not with fear of what 'could'' be; do the best that you can, for that is all that you can do. Take time to feel the sun's warmth spreading over you, and natures cool and crisp air, Feeling inspired. Learning begins by putting to trust in ourselves- noticing life is not all black and white,adopting new and bold ideas, making choices that society may not agree with not worrying to fit in.

No longer needing to be told what to think, no longer seeking a of 'seal of approval.' Without all those worries that seek validation, you will find new understanding, and the real meaning within'.There is so much more than this,so walk with me, talk with me enlighten me friend.We need no more words,only silence herein. Simply put its like this:LIFE= LEARN. The things you need learn are the things you teach best.

Life is a paradox filled with mystery humour,and change. The meaning of life is so simple yet true. Find meaning in your life. How is it done and where do I start? Stop endlessly worrying, and thinking too much, It takes much practice for the rest of your life, but consider its possible to change your life by working from your heart. Start with respect, gifts that you were given at birth. Learning from life is to be aware and pay attention. Soon you will see, that every human on this earth, we are all really just one.

Live a life full of love and have a life time of growth. I find life's utter unpredictability so intoxicating.You can choose to be scared, its easy to do-there are many whose job is to put control over you so explore living fearlessly, by accepting your choice.Everyday and every way do a little mental and spiritual weightlifting. Accepting responsibility for myself, and things I have done, feeling tremendously and joyfully overwhelmed- blessed to have another day to learn and enjoy life. Keep your heart open.Realizing each year,the true blessing of age; That the longer I play here,the more I have gained.

Many times I have hurt, just like you,I have been very poor, and thought I lost everything, had to beg, borrow steal.I once often was beaten, but they can't beat my soul. I share with you my life being honest and letting of my fears. Learning to outgrow certain behaviors, ones that do not serve me. Without any judgment, in hand with compassion, I discovered being authentic is key. To be authentic and true to yourself is a journey worth taking, but it will shift you, shake you and make you brand new. Thanks for listening and sharing feedback and stories, I love to talk to you and all comments , questions and suggestions are welcome.

About That Poking Link:

2010-08-16T20:44:00.001-07:00

JadedTales2True: About That Poking...

SentiMental

2010-08-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

Did you know Oct. 11TH is national mental health day? Mental Health Day only happens once a year~it consists of free testings for normality. The best part is, that in all the the many years they have conducted these tests (I envision rubber chickens, red rubber noses and x-ray specks!) they have not found one normal person~& between you and I'M RELIVED! I find the whole field of therapy I.E. psychiatry, psychology and all other shiny and newly developed hip mental supports- over used & underdeveloped. Its relatively sole theme is one of profit and gain. Many American institutions are responsible, from drug companies, insurance companies, lawyers & the list goes on. I have had several psychologists myself, as well as for my boys. They have varied tremendously in technique: one psychologist helped by simply bashing Nerf swords and letting our son scream, while others did things I' m convinced where just plain made up on the spot. I often wondered why and how these tests are created, either it's to laugh about later, or to see if someone would fall for this ridiculousness! (no offense if any technique I am about to share has worked for you.) After the Columbine killings, my son was having a difficult time for a multitude of reasons, he has always worn all black and back then he also sported a very cool black oiled duster. Can you say target? Being very true to himself, he was smart enough to know that a black trench coat does not a killer make. Well, not according to the media who began all out tirade against kids who wore black and how dangerous and demonic they where. Hype was going on that the trench coat killers and could be your kid too, it was easy to ascertain the 'media' stated, by just looking at there clothes. Soon it was not only media it was passed on my community, to fellow employees and sadly even my own friends. At that time we lived in the suburb of Redmond, Washington, it is a wealthy affluent conservative area. (The Lake Washington school district is the best) Alas, people are so highly educated and civilized in our country/area (pretentious.) Testosterone fueled teens did things like pelt rocks and bottles at my son (from the safety of there car,) sometimes even yelling KILLER! It was a time of heightened fear created of a mixture of this hype and of ignorance and it was at its peak. About this time our family faced a another set of unique challenges. One morning my older son became overwhelmed with shock, when looking down at the paper he saw his friends mug shots emblazoned across the local news paper. He did after all have a reason to be devastated he knew both the assailants, as well as the victims. (they all attended the same school.)
I was beside myself too, I knew those boys as I always make it a point to know my children friends. My baby boy, (the oldest), became very depressed and I knew he needed a shrink. At the time I could not afford one. I worked hard researching and eventually found an organization for youth which worked on a on a sliding scale. Being that they were a youth organization, all the better- therapists who understand the complex adolescent mind.The realization I had was that since people were slinging such hateful anger at him, he had no time to process and grieve. It was the end of his friendship, the death of a friend and even worst. I tried talking to him first, I let him know he was allowed to love them, and allowed to miss them. Though we can hate what they did, his memories were of friendship and good times, memories of walking around at night dressed like Brandon Lee in the Crow, of having bonfires on the beach, of feeling cool, having fun, memories of laughing and bonding like boys do. These were his memories, but because his friends brutally killed that family everyone wanted to believe that they were only ever killers, with no past, this was not abnormal given the circumstances. Kain, my first born, who I had at 15, I feel for him. I study grief and death, did hospice and A.I.D.S work, hell, I read Elizabeth Kubler -Ross. He needed an outside perspective, to be more real and honest than one could be with there parents, no matter how close you are and of course professional insight. So, we headed to the youth center to and hurry up and wait. The therapist came out and asked us both to come in (fine with me I understand this therapy world and its boundaries can be quite loose.) Well, the first thing I notice is a big video cam she has set up on a tripod, ha. Immediately she goes into this speech that she is pioneering this new technique, and would Kain and I (I?) be willing to let her video tape us, Kain said okay, I sighed in disdain flashing the look of "up to you, but next time don't answer so fast" She than asks me to leave the room, he is 16, so I asked my son "are you comfortable with that?" he nods. I leave, wait about 12 or less minutes, later she calls me in, having a short moment with Kain he looks at me incredulously and quickly says "this is sooo lame!" I enter with trepidation, trusting my son, I'm already feeling a defensive stance come over me. She take's off her sweater and rolls it into an embryo like ball, she precedes to tell me to pretend this sweater is a baby. (At this point I was deeply pondering who really needs therapy.) She next instructs me to hold it in my arms via baby style. I try not to look at her as dumbfounded as I feel. Forcing a grimace of a smile I hesitantly say, "uhhh-okay" I hold this sweater baby, (thanking god I'm not on film) and in the same moment feeling sadness, humour and despair for my son- while having to inhaling her cheap perfume to breathe. She instructs me to tell the baby " I love you" I look at the balled up fabric, killing myself not to laugh, actually biting my lips hoping the pain would restrain me. "I can't do it" I blurted out along with a deep inhale of life giving oxygen. She responds,"do you know why you can't?" she has now entered the danger zone... "because its dumb?' I say questioningly. "No because the baby is you and you don't love yourself!" she injects. The next week I found a qualified adolescent psychologist, meanwhile I was got a call from the nameless sweater-loving doctor, therapist, life coach, whatever the hell she was. She wanted to tell me of strange her video findings. The taping of Kain 'sharing love' of her sweater caught her attention on replay.She explained when she looked at her notes or the wall that he would flip off the camera every time! That's my boy, throwing the finger to 'the man.' Later my new licensed Dr. explained Kain was asserting the way he felt about her new therapy, and it could be studied for years to come... OR NOT! I would love to hear your experiences with mental health people, good and bad so we can help others in there hesitation to get a shrink that may not embrace personality diversity and use any diagnoses to keep those insurance acceptance's coming through! I have some more tales from my notes on life and coping with mental health professionals.

Open Books Need Reading

2010-08-07T13:40:00.000-07:00

Ian Bryson Photography

A new time is on the way and I for one am happy for it. It seems like the road to justice is long and a path to understanding is an unending journey. Oftentimes I challenge myself by thinking outside my own understanding. My method is like that of a detective, they piece together a picture with only few clues. If your belief concept is strong & values purely moral you may need more study; for what is pure and moral to one, is heinous and contrite to another. If your belief system is based in being completely open and accepting everything equally, you also need more study; for what is open and accepting to one could be considered offensive or harmful to some. Reason for more study on both parts comes down to simple consideration. The pure and moral person need consider why they are judging, when no person should dare to judge another, while the overly open person need consider the needs of others is not answered by simply agreeing with all. Both need to learn the other side before any debate should ensue, too often I see people fighting over a law/right they no nothing about. The outside of a picture is simple enough, it is deceiving like the cover of a book. Peering into that picture book takes more effort. Your effort is a doorway leading to real learning, no longer just judging based in habit or going with the majority. The deeper we look into whatever our reality may be, the closer we get to shaking its foundations. This is why my steadfast ideology remains "the more I know, that I do not know,the closer I am to God or true enlightenment"

My very Haunted House

2010-08-06T14:06:00.000-07:00

Photo by Ian Bryson, (my son.)

This is a cautionary true tale, one I hope you will never have to experience. A move from one affluent and pretentious neighborhood to another would erase any doubts I may have had on the validity of the paranorma. I would be calling for help from a paranormal team of investigators in less than a year aftewr our move. Unlike ghost reality shows, When you LIVE in the house with ghosts it is far from entertaining. It was terrifying. A ghostly feeling-or a presence is one thing, what happened in my house was malicious in nature putting our love to the ultimate test.

As I recall, it all began with the new land lord.We called to schedule a viewing. Viewing his property came with an unusual requirement. He made it clear that in order to view his property~he must first "visit" our home. He could decide after if we where worthy to rent to.Sure, it seemed strange but considering my bonus was getting to live blocks from my best friend, ~I stayed focused on how cool that was. We had nothing to hide, so what the heck? Our initial visit to the property could have told much if we knew to watch out for creepy landlords with there creepy families.

We did not,we DO now. Arriving at walk through we noticed how the property was set back from the other houses,nice. A perfectly manicured lawn and a beautiful old elm tree only added to our excitement. At the end of the drive we next noticed our future land lord next to his wife, she was struggling to grab a large cement block, she was building a retaining wall. Her expression was awkward, I assumed because of the hard grunt work she was doing, Alas I don't like to judge and presuppose. My honey would soon be ushered inside the house as we women folk remained outside chatting, exchanging recipes and such. Not my usual behavior, However I was compelled to act in a manner fitting of the East Side, we really wanted this house! It was ridiculous how good the price for rent was. Too good.

The first time I experienced something was different about this place ink was not even dry on the paper. I was trying in vain to get the hot water to go on. When, from a big window upstairs in our two level, 6 bedrooms,(w)reck room, dual fireplace, downstairs mother in law,-house.I saw the land lords wife just What luck she could surely turn on the water heater. I decided to flag her down with my best friend at my side. As we approached her, She startled, like a deer in the head lights. Politely I said, "hey, I am so glad to see you, can you please help me? The water heater must be off, can you tell me how to turn it on?" Her reaction shocked both my friend and I. She looked up nervously and excitedly said, "No,I won't go into the house! "It would be many months before I would come piece it together why she was so hesitant.

JadedTales2True: Jade's Hawaiian Death saying Share:

2010-08-04T20:10:00.000-07:00

JadedTales2True: Jade's Hawaiian Death saying Share:

Lifted by Life

2010-07-30T18:24:00.000-07:00

Life and death link each of our lives unlike anything else. We are born into life unknowing unafraid. Babies with bright eyes and hungry mouths. It is our natural instinct to protect and love and to care for these big eyed babies! Spending time with them we are reminded of our own mortality. Later we grow old sometimes we will not when suddenly we are wandering down life's last path. Like the magic of birth, there is equal magic in death. Death is as sacred as it is profound. Death was catalyst of my deepest personal growth. I am not a religious person, to the contrary. "God" led into "in the name of God" which led to unscrupulous displays that silent the needs of many, whilst it annihilates others. Although this new way of God (TV evangelists etc,) appears to be clearly wrong and overused, we still accept and even buy into it. God's sacred scriptures get used like a weapon they divide and conquers in confounded interpretations. Most are afraid to talk to talk of death or dying, choosing just as soon not too. Death is taboo in our culture, akin to having no opinion on a Christian God. I learned how desperately we need to remove our of fears surrounding death and dying soon after I graduated AIDS 101,emotional caregiving, and dementia courses. My friend was grieving for her younger brother who recently died in a tragic auto accident. I took an educated guess, I knew she missed him and I asked if she had 'checked in' with him and I asked how she was dealing with overwhelming thoughts of his death. It was the first time I addressed a painful topic so easily, it made sense to be open and honest. My friend so full of love, began to cry and let it out. This turned into a great lesson, one I hope will enlighten others. She thanked me for asking which did surprise me, explaining how she desired to talk, to share stories of her brother. She said that no one would, and when she brought it up the topic would quickly change. This is why I often write of death, it, so we lose our discomfort and learn. Our own excuses disguise themselves as concern instead of protection from discomfort. I hope to alter your thinking about death and begin to open up new ideas and thinking. We are all guilty of false reasoning and it is easy to do. Terrible, helpless emotions come up, we find ourselves at a loss for words. Our basic mind reasons that we do not want to upset the bereaved or make them cry- be depressed. We tell our self that it is more polite if we do not bring up death. It continues further into the grieving process when we next convince our self that mentioning the dead will cause PTSD possibly making them upset and sad. This is also a great Untrue~ you cannot remind of that, they cannot forget it someone silly!! Grief from Death and the dying process are unlike any other. Although grief follows the same steps, the order of those steps is never the same. I hope I have de-mystified death just a little. I really enjoy feedback and answering questions and sharing your thoughts. Remember the power of your words can be an inspiration of hope or guidance as we quest towards enlightenment.

Honesty Is The Currency Of Love

2010-07-20T22:57:00.000-07:00

Heard this last night,where, is unimportant- yet what is,would be is to contemplate this for a moment or more."Honesty is the currency of love"What do you think about that?
I have a few thoughts swirling around at the thought of it.How true, simple yes.
Simple I believe is really the way of life as it makes sense and makes life less complicated. By that I mean why run around in a world of delusion when you have a choice in most circumstances to change that behaviour pattern.I know for the only reason I can share these thoughts with you is from having experienced them myself.
I thought delusion was a huge psychological quagmire, quicksand and quarantine. It can be, I assure you. Alas then I saw my shrink, who shall remain anonymous- and he explained delusion as I took rapid note. He explained delusion ( in my case never the less) was seeing part of a picture or experience and seeing perhaps the outcome, or steps that where leading toward it - yet not knowing the details of how it happened. A bit like only knowing part of the story say- a constant we struggle with daily.Alas the delusion for me was trying to fill in the blanks w/ out knowing what really happened, having to surmise. It would eat me alive wondering the who arts and how longs, IT HAS A WAY OF MAKING YOU SPIN, REELING OUT OF CONTROL, obsessing over figuring out what happened, how it could be. Its a painful wounded feeling, never satiated it will grab you by the short and curlies and take you over.What is great to know in reality however is that it does not have power over you if you refuse to let it, since we all cause much of our grief and all of our feelings. I have since managed to get this under control by NOT trying to figure things out that I am curious and desirous to attain answers to. Not easily done, its a mental exercise which after a time gets easier.Just facing the realization that in fact some things you will never find the answer to can be quite liberating and always true.Okay now this leads to the title of my blog- honesty is the currency of love- its a price you pay, its a thing you should practice in your relationships and I do. Sometimes I do to this to the point of discomfort- because I truly would like it practiced w/ me.I have cheated in a relationship before and I have told the truth- and not because I was in a bind and that person would find out. For several reasons- one, I could not live a lie, two if this person could not or did not want to accept what happened they now had the choice to leave. I know if you have read my other blogs I ,( like many other's)have been cheated on, never told the truth- left festering like an open wound- only wanting the truth. A knowing in my heart and soul said I should trust my intuition yet being told I was a fool so much I began to no longer trust my intuition. Finally two years later when the truth came out ( not of its own volition) my world turned upside down.I did not know if I could trust my intuition, or if a crippling new fear (made of dishonesty) was just blinding me.It was all very cheap.
I thought that honesty is the currency of love- then I was short changed!
If I had been told the truth when I suspected it, I suspect I would have left So, what have I to share w/ you?Be honest, even when it hurts and may not suit you.
Not because you have to but because you want and need to- for that is what you in turn would choose others to do for you. The fuller the love for yourself and others the easier this will be.

Everlasting Breath

2010-07-18T16:02:00.000-07:00

Journey to understanding: Black and white borderlines

2010-07-10T22:22:00.000-07:00

Journey to understanding: Black and white borderlines