I knew I would not own Mezzo Coffee House until retirement, but I didn’t expect to sell this year. Then…Covid happened, the opportunity came up with a vibrant young couple, fast-forward 5 months, and they reopened it today as the new owners.

Explaining it to our friends and customers, I have referred to it as “bittersweet.” I was sad, I was happy, I was a mixture of emotions. But, I never questioned whether it was the right thing to do, I knew it all came together with these people, at this time, because it was meant to be.

This morning, the new owners, Tiago & Olivia, reopened the coffee house. It was so strange to know it was opening without me. I was not part of the hustle to get things ready and welcome customers again. I was a little sad about that, I will miss seeing friends every day. However, I also have a great sense of gratitude for being part of the journey of Mezzo Coffee House.

I thought about how it felt bittersweet, but suddenly that word didn’t fit anymore.

It is not bittersweet anymore.
Now, it’s beautifully sweet.

It is beautifully sweet to have been a part of something and know that I helped it, and it helped me. I grew as it grew, I learned so many lessons along the way that will help me and others on the next leg of my journey. Now the new owners can take the five year foundation I laid and build on it. I have no doubt they will make it even better, and that is beautiful.

Life is a journey. Where is YOUR journey taking you?

Has there been change in your life?

Change can shake us up. Changes can send us into a downward spiral when they come unexpectedly. I believe our perspective is crucial; we can focus on what is now missing, or we can choose to look at the bigger picture and see where opportunities have opened up. I encourage you to focus on hope, focus on possibility, focus on God’s promise to be your help in times of transition.

Psalm 121
¹ I look up to the mountains—
    does my help come from there?
² My help comes from the Lord,
   who made heaven and earth!

I’ve been through enough changes in my life to know that it is beneficial to let our past be our teacher and not our boss.

I raise my coffee cup to you, cheers to what’s ahead!

Sue

We’ve had our lives tossed upside down like a trailer in a tornado. Which way is up, where is the exit? How do I get off this crazy ride? Disheveled and desperately craving carbs, we crawled out of the rubble to see what was left standing.

As our country begins its long-awaited reopening, we dust ourselves off and look around at what the world has become. This feeling of displacement is unwelcome and uncomfortable. For those of us who struggle with change, it has been a downward spiral of emotions. Squinting in a black hole for the tiniest glimmer of light to find our way back to normal. We’ve all had our momentary breakdowns these last few months, some, not so momentary.

Turns out though, we are more resilient than we gave ourselves credit. That still small voice has been whispering to us, it will be ok; we will get through this. We start taking walks again, listening to the songs around us, the birds, the waves, the crickets at night. We look for explanations, and though they are few, we are reminded that the answer has always been right there in front of us, and even inside us.

The Lord has been speaking to us this whole time. Often, we were too distracted, scared, worried, hungry, despondent, or bored, to hear Him. Instead, we turned on the news and filled out heads with the noise of the day. Guilty. It was easier, it was somehow comforting to share this huge grief with the rest of the world, it was the only thing that made us feel connected. The communal grief, pain, and fear, brought us together and kept us from feeling like we were floating at sea alone.

What now?

Before we can answer this question, I believe we need to ask, “what did I learn?” What did I learn about the world? What did I learn about myself? What do I now cherish that before I took for granted? How has this changed me? How has this changed my marriage and how I parent my children? How different is my friend circle now?

I would encourage you to look in a mirror and ask yourself these three things:

1. What have I lost that I will miss?

Grieve the losses that broke your heart. Let yourself feel that pain and ask the Father to fill that emptiness with His peace. Let Him heal the broken and wounded parts of us that only He sees.  

Also, consider that some of what is lost brought a freedom we didn’t realize we so desperately needed. Ask yourself, what is now gone that needed to go?

2. What coping mechanisms did I turn to?

We crave comfort and grasp at whatever promises peace, if only momentarily. You are not alone, and there is no judgment here, this is about redemption. This is a good time for confession. If we open our hearts, it can be sacred time for repentance and restoration. Lean into His rhythms of grace. He trades forgiveness for confession and pours out peace for our anxiety.

Our relationship with the Father and example of Jesus is the only way to truly fill the emptiness and void that all the vices have promised to fill.

3. What changes do I want to make in me from this day forward?

This is most important. Don’t make promises. Don’t make resolutions. Instead, pray for wisdom about the needed changes that will bring transformation. I believe that, like me, you want to be a better human, you want to contribute in a positive way to this world. That begins by looking in a mirror, examining our hearts, and choosing to transform and grow. Growth comes naturally when given the proper environment. What elements of your environment are contributing to growth and what elements are hindering it? What needs to change? Further weeding may be needed.

Transformation doesn’t happen overnight; it is a journey. We are all on a path, each one unique to the daily decisions we make. If I want to travel to Texas to see my daughter, I don’t start driving in any direction that sounds good at the time, I set my GPS to her address and I follow the map. I can stop along the way, enjoy the ride, take in the scenery, but eventually I get there. However, if I take a turn East and keep driving towards the Atlantic, I’ll never see my daughter.

The question we must ask ourselves is, “where do I want to end up?” These destinations are short and long term. I may have a desire to be more patient with my family, and at the same time, a goal of starting a new business. Each of these is going to require daily disciplines, and both will result in transformation if I stay the course.

I would encourage you to write down where you want to be. This week, this month, this year, and even what you hope your legacy would be. If you don’t know where you are going, you won’t have a plan to get there.

Note the changes you will need to make on this journey to get to your destination.

Author Wendell Berry said:

“It may be that when we no longer know what to do,

we have come to our real work,

and that when we no longer know which way to go,

we have begun our real journey.”

Maybe the blessing of this past few months is that we now see the real work that needs to be done. We can’t do this alone. It takes faith. Faith in God and faith in the people He brings to our journey. He loves us and speaks to us through these people. Look hard and listen well.

So, what now?

They are socially distanced, perched on tiny little x’s with itty-bitty hand made face masks steaming up their glasses. Oh who am I kidding? My ducks haven’t been seen in a week. Life is ridiculously undone right now and we’re all trying to find our new normal. The ducks are probably driving around looking for teddy bears in front windows.

So, about this pandemic that turned our lives upside down. I daily struggle to wrap my head around it. I have the news on too much because I’ve always been a News-aholic, but it’s become daunting. There are moments when I forget that the whole world is different now. I’ll be working around the house and things will feel normal until my calm is jarred with the reminder of how drastically life has changed this past month.

Schools are closed, I shut the doors of my coffee house, we can’t eat in restaurants anymore or visit with family & friends. Worst of all, people are dying from this horrific corona virus.

The list of losses is long, but so is the list of gains if we are observant.

I have loved spending time at home with my family. I have enjoyed walks in our fields. I am grateful to have spent countless hours in my home baking, cleaning and reorganizing. I have had true moments of much needed rest.

This is a really good time to search our hearts, look deeply into our lives and decide if our path needs reevaluating, refocusing or just straight up change. I’ve reached out to mentors and friends to hash out what life looks like for them and myself on the other side of this situation and I’m seeing a lot of changes on the horizon.

If you are at any type of a cross-road in your life, let me ask you a question that popped into my head a couple weeks ago and has set me on a path I never expected…

“What if you made a decision based on the best thing for
you and your family?”

Sadly, that is hard for me. I don’t know about you but I struggle with being a people-pleaser and not wanting to let anyone down. Unfortunately, that has meant letting my own family down more times than I want to admit. These last few weeks have been eye opening to the needs of my family and my own health & emotional needs. I’ve had to look in a mirror and ask myself, what is the best thing for myself and my family?

This has been the perfect time for me to unplug, reset and embrace a fresh outlook on life, I hope you’ve had time and space to do that also.

Is there anything you intend to do differently?

Are you struggling with direction?

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
   He’s the one who will keep you on track.
Proverbs 3:5-6 The Message Bible

So, how are your ducks doing?

Ronel and I met online over 10 years ago, she was one of the first subscribers to this blog of random thoughts on faith and family. Even with over 2,000 miles between us we became fast friends. We were both in a season of feasting on the busy-ness of church life and women’s ministry yet starving for authentic connection. Each of us have flown back and forth to catch up over a cup of coffee and even shared a few speaking events through the years. I love tag-team speaking with Ronel, she is extremely easy going and always has insight that makes you pause.

I have to warn you, if you enjoy being stuck in a rut of mediocrity and hiding in a crowd afraid to step into your truest self, this book is not for you. Ronel did not write this to make you feel warm and fuzzy for 10 minutes and then let it sit boringly on your shelf and gathers dust. Freestyle Faith is written for the woman who wants more from her life. More joy, more fulfillment, more of Jesus. Not the religious Jesus in the picture on the wall whose eyes follow you around the room, but the Jesus who looked at the most hated man in town and called him out of a tree so he could go to his home for dinner. The Jesus who told the local pastors that *“people look at you and think you’re saints, but beneath the skin you’re total frauds.” The Jesus who would not throw stones or even insults at the woman who was clearly guilty of the darkest of sins.

This book will call you out of comfort zones into deeper places of truth. It will shift you away from a complacent-agreeable life that has kept you stuck for longer than you want to admit. Ronel gives you permission to be fully who you were created to be and the tools to guide you through the process.

I have known Ronel long enough to trust her heart and her intentions of this book. She is passionate about helping women not only become who they were meant to be, but also recognize that the journey is the most important part. Freestyle Faith is power-packed with quote worthy material and tidbits of wisdom woven through it. Savor each Conversation around a table with friends or tucked away in your quiet place as you discover who you really are and how to love and appreciate yourself as much as the Father does.

Available now on Amazon:  Freestyle Faith

Check out Ronel’s page here: Ronel Sidney

I had the bracelets, but that’s a close as I came!

My daughter-in-law has some great insight on how we CAN be Wonder Woman in our homes…check it out!

Love The Mom Life

I often get asked where I’m going to church, *smile* I’ll get to that.

When we left the church in 2000 that we had helped plant in 1996 (let me be completely honest, we were kicked out for disagreeing with the pastor and “causing discord”), I was so hurt. I felt discouraged, displaced, and completely destroyed.

I have to add here…there was a day when I couldn’t admit that we were kicked out, I was ashamed and I would feel the need to explain, but not anymore. I will explain if asked, but I just don’t need to anymore. I know that Mark and I stood for what our hearts believed and would do it again, only this time I wouldn’t be ashamed.

Six months later when the group we were meeting with in our home grew too large for our house we moved into a building and had ‘real church’ (meaning we were in an actual building).

Six years of pastoring a growing church and it was finally time to focus on our own lives. Mark’s business (the only one we actually took a paycheck from) needed him more and we had just brought Lauren home from China so she needed me. We knew that it was time to hand the church over to our leadership team.

I was peaceful, content, and knew that we made the right decision. Thankfully, there was no pain or heartbreak this time, but I still had so many questions and didn’t understand the road we were now traveling. Why did I feel we didn’t need to be in church every Sunday? How could I be a Christian and not “plugged in” to a local church? I was a very good church girl and could preach a persuasive message on why we all needed to be there, but now, strand by strand, the fabric of that was unraveling for me.

I started this blog and began exploring what living for/with God really meant and my questions led me to a book titled “So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore” and a podcast called “The God Journey.”

The unraveling continued and God begin a beautiful work of knitting me back together by showing me that His love has always been there, that HE’s always been there, even in the midst of betrayal, loss, and pain.

Now I look back with gratitude for all that we walked through on this journey. The dark times brought me to the light. His light, His love, His grace.

This past year I read this amazing book which also gave me freedom to be myself and embrace the life I chose and not the one I was told I should live: Present Over Perfect. 

I have no desire to convince anyone that they need to do what I did, or follow the footsteps I’ve taken with my faith and choices. I just want to encourage you to follow Him. Trust Him. All of our paths are unique and yet similar in that as we lean on and follow Him, they will draw us closer to the Father and His heart…however that looks in your life.

So when I am asked about “where” I go to church, I smile, because it’s not about a place, church is not a place, the church is people, people who’ve chosen to follow Him.

I used to believe that the building a person sat in on Sundays was an indication of their faith, now I feel that nothing could be farther from the truth. Now I believe that that kind of thinking is just linear, and my walk with God has become so much more dimensional as my relationship with Him grows.

He is a part of every bit of my life. The times I’m doing “good” things, the times I’m blowing it, and everything in between. His love never changes for me and His grace is what draws me closer to Him when I need Him most.

As I write this I hear my former Pharisee-self asking “so now what, you just go off and do whatever you want, pray, sin, act a fool, and God loves you so it’s ok?” That is exactly what I would have thought if someone said all this to me when I was deeply entrenched in performance Christianity. Back in the day when I thought I knew best and believed it was my job to correct those who had it wrong, I would have looked down on the Me of today.

Ugh, no!

Living in His love does not excuse sin and it certainly does not encourage it, but gives space to the fact that we are so flawed, and yet we are loved. That love calls me to walk closer to him not farther down a path away from Him, though at times on this journey I admit I have strayed from the peace which comes from fellowship with Him.

So to answer the question, where am I? I’m right here. You might find me in a church building occasionally on a Sunday but more likely home with my family. Thankfully, I now know that the body of Christ is not a building we call church. I don’t forsake gathering with believers, it just looks a little bit different now. Please understand, please, I’m not AGAINST church attendance, I’m FOR relationship with God, however that looks in your life today.

I admit that I considered writing this post for about 3-4 years now but didn’t have the courage to do it. I was worried that it would ostracize me from people I care about or stop the requests for speaking engagements, but now, I hope it opens doors for deeper conversations. I am so happy to be in a space of freedom about my faith/church life and if I never speak in front of a group again, I am ok with that. I just want to share life with whoever God brings alongside me on this journey.

I really love this quote:

“Jesus didn’t leave us with a system to manage, but a Spirit to follow.”

Wayne Jacobsen, Finding Church

It feels so good to not be ruled by “shoulds” but able to follow my heart and hopefully His Spirit each day.

Sue

Can you believe that Praise and Coffee is 10 years old?!

Hmm…might be fun to do an Anniversary Magazine…??

Anyways. I’m still having fun doing my “Real Moms” segment on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook and have had the awesome opportunity to sit in live for Tommy a couple times. So. Much. Fun!

Also, having fun at Mezzo Coffee House and we opened a gift boutique with over 30 local merchants- adjoining Mezzo- called “Marketplace at Mezzo” in Sept. 2016 and wow, what a lot of work blast! My sweet friend Sarah Knash has been incredible…it would not be open without her.

My daughter Steph has also been a HUGE help at both the coffee house and Marketplace. She’s actually the reason I dusted off the blog today. She wrote a post that I think is so timely and I think it will be a blessing to you. Check it out: Just a Small Reminder

Looking forward to more connection with you this year! Look for more inspiration on our Praise and Coffee FB page.

Much love,

Sue

Six Praise and Coffee Conversations to help you facilitate a Praise and Coffee group (or any small group or personal devotions) as you gather in coffee shops or around kitchen tables.
No preparation required.

Invite two to twelve friends to a coffee shop/restaurant or around your kitchen table. It’s that easy!

Consider these six conversations a springboard. Do not hold rigidly to them, instead let the conversations serve your group fluid and flexible. We pray they lead you into conversations that promote connection, encouragement and inspiration. No one in the group is required to participate, but do encourage anyone to share.

Praise and Coffee to Go is not intended to resemble a classroom with students and a teacher but, instead, a group of friends sharing life, laughter, tears and the desire to connect, encourage and inspire one another!

Praise and Coffee to Go is set up for gatherings of two or more, but of course you could use the lessons as a personal study or devotional.

And to answer the question: why this book? I thought you wanted these groups organic and self led???

I do. The reason I put this together is: so many women wanted to host a Praise and Coffee group with their friends but were uncomfortable with the idea of how to do it and what to say. I DO NOT want you to use these as a script, with ladies sitting stoic around a table, answering questions when she is called upon. I want you to use this as a springboard for conversation that will lead you to connect, encourage, and inspire one another. I trust that when we meet, 2 or 3 or more, and He is with us….He will direct the conversation. You don’t need a book for God to move among you, but I wanted to help you take some steps into conversation with this book.

$$? I certainly did not create this as an income source, I added pictures to make it interesting and I think I make about .12 cents per copy sold on Amazon…and only because they would not let me offer it cheaper.

I pray that this helps women do what God intended us to do, connect and love one another, appreciating that we are all unique and beautiful women.

We are hardwired for connection… Click here to read why connection is so important.
If you are interested in starting a Praise and Coffee group in your community, feel free to join our online group page:

Praise and Coffee Leaders

He never intended you to dance alone.

Trust Him.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God!
Proverbs 3:5 The Message Bible

1. Put up a video camera on a tri-pod and hit record for the party. Also, make a sign that asks the guests to say a few words to the graduate, it will be lots of fun watching this later!

2. FOOD! Be creative with food. It’s ok to step away from the ham and cheese sandwiches.

• Baked potato and salad bar
• Taco bar
• Appetizer and Dessert party
• Brinner! Breakfast for dinner is a fun buffet that people love.
• Search Pinterest! I have a board all set up with a bunch of great ideas and you can find that on my website.

3. Decorations:

• Dollar stores are your friend! You can find all kinds of great stuff there: lawn signs, balloons, plates, etc
• An easy table decoration: Colored M & M type candies that you can find right in the bulk food section
  • Pick out your child’s school colors and add a few curly ribbons around them and call it good!

4. Stressing about getting the house ready? Have a destination party: host the party at a local hotel or restaurant. A local venue is ideal if you plan to have a large number of guests at the party.

5. Theme Party: Base the whole party around a sport or activity that your graduate loves. Video games, TV Shows, Twitter, travel, music, COFFEE…whatever they enjoy.

Another fun idea to have at a graduation party is get the book “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”…by Dr. Seuss and have all the guests attending sign the pages as a keepsake for the graduate. Most importantly: Real Moms are not afraid to ask for help! If your child is graduating, you probably know a couple other moms who are also planning parties, barter help with each other so you can spend time visiting with the guests. Then do the same for them. So, those are a few ideas, check out my Pinterest page for lots more. And congrats to all the graduates and their great moms that got them there!! Click to listen to segment: Real Moms of West Michigan on Star 105.7 I do the ‘Real Moms of West Michigan’ segments on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook every Tuesday morning around 7:05 AM. If you are not in the West Michigan area you can listen on iHeart radio More that might interest you: Has God Been Calling You to Step Out? Six Ways To Connect With Your Kids Helping Our Kids Deal with Separation