A Latest & Funny Collection Of PranksMesothelioma

Mesothelioma Support

2008-06-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

There are many types of mesothelioma support available to help those who have the misfortune to suffer from this very serious and disabling disease.

In terms of medical care, you can find the support of the clinics that specialize in mesothelioma. They have consultants who have many years of experience in treating this disease, which can offer a sympathetic and understanding ear, and its dispending medical advice. If you think you May may have been infected some time in the past, maybe even decades ago, they can undertake the necessary medical tests to assess your situation and evaluate your position in terms clinics .

If it turns out that you have indeed been infected, then you'll also need to look mesothelioma support in terms of legal advice. There are many jurists, lawyers and other specialists who are working in this field. Try to find someone who is reasonably local to you, but who has extensive experience in this field. Make sure they have a good experience to win the event, so you stand a better chance of winning fair compensation. These types of cases can be very difficult and you need a lawyer who can take on the evil at their own game

If you need emotional support to one or practice, there are also groups that can help you. But because this disease is relatively rare, incidents spread widely across the country, and even the world, May you have to travel to find a support group, or communicate via the Internet

Asbestos Mesothelioma Vermiculite

2008-06-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

The reason why asbestos mesothelioma vermiculite is a concern in regards to health is the fact that asbestos fibres are often used in constructing such a building material. This has very serious consequences in terms of potentially causing cancerous tumors to a much later stage in life.

Asbestos mesothelioma vermiculite problems affect several thousand people each year in the USA only. From Seattle to Tampa, people have been affected over a period of several decades because of exposure to asbestos fibres at an early stage of their lives - usually thirty to forty years earlier. There have been instances where the disease has grown in less than twenty years, but they are much the exception rather than the rule.

If you think May have been exposed to asbestos, mesothelioma vermiculite, then you should consider your options very seriously. First, there is a considerable risk that your health May were damaged. Even if you're currently show no symptoms, it is strongly advised to go to a specialist doctor and get checked out thoroughly. Act now could literally save your life. If you wait until symptoms begin to appear, May it be too late to do anything.

You should be very worried about asbestos mesothelioma vermiculite if you were exposed to these materials when you were young, especially if you worked in the building industry or a trader handling asbestos. Although it seems hard to believe today, asbestos was used as a component in many different types of products, while manufacturers and construction companies are well aware of the risks they were ' expose workers and their clients

Handicapped Horse

2008-06-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

The trainers last minute instructions to a jockey were to shout "Up and Over" at each jump.

The jockey considered this stupid and ignored these instructions.

The horse clumsily tripped over the first two hurdles and then the jockey shouted "Up and Over" at each jump. So... won the race.

The trainer asked him, "What happened in the first two jumps? You ignored my instructions didnt you?"

The jockey replied, "No, the horse must be deaf."

"No way!!!" the trainer insisted. "Blind, yes....but not deaf..."

Mesothelioma Cure

2008-06-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

It's a very sad but true fact that there is currently no cure for mesothelioma. However, a great deal of research is being undertaken in laboratories across the world, with the aim of finding a long-term solution to this devastating ailment.

In the meantime, while we wait in hope for a real mesothelioma cure to be found, patients must do the best they can to manage their symptoms, and do what they can to achieve a better quality of life all round. You can also consult a mesothelioma lawyer or mesothelioma attorney to see what compensation options are available.

Fortunately, there are ways of alleviating the symptoms while researchers continue to look for a mesothelioma cure. These are gradually improving in quality, and so patients can look forward to a better quality of life than was the case even a few short years ago. New forms of chemotherapy, for example, are bringing much more relief, and helping to extend the life of patients by a considerable time. Nevertheless, we should still be aware that life expectancy for patients of this disease is not good, with many still dying within twelve months of the disease being diagnosed.

Investment in finding a mesothelioma cure is very high, with drug companies and other research establishments worldwide doing everything they can to progress and advance the treatment of this disease. All kinds of new therapies and treatments are being devised, and these are moving forward our understanding of the disease, and the way it develops throughout the body.

So although there is no mesothelioma cure at the moment, there is certainly hope that one may be found in the not too distant future.

Mesothelioma Settlement

2008-06-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

Reaching a mesothelioma settlement can be a long and drawn out process. It can take years of effort to get a result, due to the complexity of the issues involved, and the protracted nature of all such complicated legal proceedings.

Nevertheless, if you believe that you have a claim for asbestos poisoning, you should make every effort to pursue it. Many of the companies who continued to use asbestos as a lining material for decades were well aware of the potential problems it presented, and the consequent health hazards to innocent workers. It is only fair that you should get a mesothelioma settlement if you are one of the ones affected by this negligent and profit-seeking approach to business.

One way to get a mesothelioma settlement is to take part in a class action. Usually there are a large group of people affected by the decisions and activities of one company or employer. It is much easier for an individual to pursue a claim if they become involved in a class action approach, which brings them the support and assistance of many others who are unfortunate enough to find themselves in a similar position to you.

The figures for a mesothelioma settlement can be staggering – often running into many millions of dollars for class action claims. While this may seem high, you must remember that this is compensation for lives that have been devastated. Even a large cash sum can never compensate for the loss of health – and probably loss of life – that this terrible disease may well lead to in due course.

Mesothelioma Attorney Texas

2008-05-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

If you are looking for a mesothelioma attorney Texas or mesothelioma lawyer Texas, then the Internet is the most obvious place to look. There are many lawyers who specialize in this field, and many of them have their own web sites, or are listed on other online resources which cover this rather specialized but very important field of law.

Although any search engine should be able to help you, we recommend that you start with Google. This is by far the most effective of all the search engines, and it is likely to provide you with more than enough results for you to find the contact details that you need. Just type mesothelioma attorney texas or mesothelioma laywer Texas into the search box, and wait to see what results you get.

You will probably be surprised. You will get many results coming back for both mesothelioma attorney texas and mesothelioma laywer texas. Then you have to try and decide which is the most appropriate one for you to follow up. There is no easy answer to that question, but it is a good idea to look for lawyers who have previous experience in this field, and who can show a good track record of getting quality results for people who are suffering from this chronic and life-threatening disease.

Anyone who gets a listing under mesothelioma attorney texas or mesothelioma laywer texas is likely to be a good candidate for your requirements. But it is still a good idea to ask for references from other people who have used the firm's services in the past. After all, you want to be sure of making the right choice.

Malignant Mesothelioma

2008-05-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

The onset of malignant mesothelioma is a serious matter for any patient. By this stage, the disease may be well advanced, although the patient has not previously noticed any symptoms. This, unfortunately, can lead to fatalities, as by this stage the cancer has already spread throughout the body.

Malignant mesothelioma is not something to be trifled with. It is a condition which requires immediate medical attention and treatment. If you have any reason to believe that you may be suffering from a condition of this sort, you should seek the advice of a specialist in this field without delay.

Remember that malignant mesothelioma can spread very quickly, and any delay in treatment can have a very significant effect on the effectiveness of any treatment which is administered. It is up to you to take action as soon as you can to improve the chances of successful treatment.

But even though this is a life-threatening disease, there are many treatment options available, and malignant mesothelioma can be treated successfully in the right circumstances. Medical advances are making a significant difference to both life expectancy and quality of life for those who are unfortunate enough to have been exposed to asbestos during their careers or otherwise during their lifetimes.

If you would like further information on malignant mesothelioma, try searching on the Internet to find other resources. There are many excellent sites which provide a wealth of very useful information which may help you to make the right decisions regarding treatment and possible litigation.

Bill Gates Jokes #2

2008-05-22T05:53:00.000-07:00

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill.

As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.

"The bottle has a hole in it!"

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.

"And it's missing three keys,"

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."

Bill Gates Jokes

2008-05-22T05:50:00.000-07:00

Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days. They were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses and tell their friends and colleagues what was happening. God did tell them though, that no matter what they did he was "not" changing his mind.

Bill Clinton went in and told his staff, "I have good news and bad news for you. First the good news . . . there "is" a God. The bad news is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."

Boris Yeltsin went back and told his staff, "I have good news and terrible news. The first is that there "is" a God. The second is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."

Bill Gates went back and told his staff, "I have good news and good news. First, God thinks I am one of the three most important people in the world. Secondly, you don't have to fix the bugs in Windows 95

PranksMesothelioma - Pericardial mesothelioma

2008-05-21T01:54:00.000-07:00

Pericardial mesothelioma develops in the pericardium, a membrane made up of mesothelial cells that surrounds the heart and provides protection and support to this organ. The membrane is composed of two different layers - an outer layer called the parietal layer, and an inner layer known as the visceral layer. The parietal layer is part of a larger membrane that lines the entire chest cavity, while the visceral layer is the pericardial membrane that lines the heart.

PranksMesothelioma - Senator Edward Kennedy Has Maligant Brain Tumor

2008-05-20T11:16:00.000-07:00

BOSTON - A cancerous tumor of the brain caused the seizure Senator Edward M. Kennedy has suffered over the weekend, doctors said Tuesday in a dark for a diagnosis of U.S. policy most enduring figures.

Doctors say the Massachusetts Democrat for tests after Kennedy suffered a crisis this weekend showed a tumour in his left parietal lobe. Preliminary results from a brain biopsy identified the cause of the seizure as a malignant glioma.

His salary will be decided after several trials, but the normal course combinations of radiation and chemotherapy.

"I'm really sad," former senator Bob Kerrey, D-Neb., A said when he said in a corridor of the Senate on the state of Kennedy. "He is one politician who brings tears to my eyes when he speaks."

The 76-year-old senator was hospitalized in Boston since Saturday, when he was airlifted to Cape Cod, after an arrest at his home.

"He had no other seizures, remains in good general condition, and is walking around the hospital," said a joint statement issued by Dr. Lee Schwamm, vice-chairman of the Department of Neurology at Massachusetts General Hospital and Dr. Larry Ronan, Kennedy primary care doctor.

Doctors have said Kennedy will remain in hospital "for the next two days, in accordance with the routine protocol."

"It is always in a good mood and full of energy," they said.

Kennedy, the wife and children were with him every day, but have not made any public statements.

Gliomes are a malignant type of brain cancer diagnosed in about 9000 Americans a year - and the most common type in adults. This is an initial diagnosis: how patients fare depends on what type of tumor is determined by other tests.

Average survival can vary from less than a year for very advanced and types of aggression - such as glioblastomas - or about five years for different types that are increasingly slow.

Kennedy, the second oldest member of the Senate and a dominant figure in the politics of the Democratic Party, was elected in 1962, completing the term won by her brother, John F. Kennedy.

Kennedy's older brother, Joseph, was killed in World War II plane crash. President John Kennedy was assassinated in 1963 and his brother Robert was assassinated in 1968.

Kennedy is active for his age, maintaining an aggressive timetable on Capitol Hill and in Massachusetts. He made several campaign appearances in Illinois senator February and, more recently, another in April.

Kennedy, senior senator from Massachusetts and the Senate's second oldest member, was re-elected in 2006 and is not new for election until 2012.

Where he resign or die in office, the rule of law requires a special election for the seat earlier than 145 days and not later than 160 days after the vacancy.

SOURCE - http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080520/ap_on_go_co/kennedy

Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

2008-05-20T05:47:00.000-07:00

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it''''s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

How To Be Annoying

2008-05-20T05:45:00.000-07:00

Do you regularly ride an elevator? Here's some things you
can do in the future to turn that monotonous ride into
something more exciting :)

Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World"
incessantly.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear
yours upside-down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the
doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
and ask them to call you Admiral.

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it
stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the
shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
announce, "I've got new socks on!"

Meow occasionally.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that
your beeper?"

Say "Ding!" at each floor.

Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

The Rude Customer

2008-05-18T21:53:00.000-07:00

An award should go to the Virgin Airlines gate attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS".

The attendant replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: "May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please," she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "Buzz Off!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."

Management Lesson

2008-05-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk."I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an Endless supply of pinna coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Management lesson?

Always let your boss have the first say.

Dumb Blonde

2008-05-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!'' The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Acronyms & What It Mean

2008-05-18T03:10:00.001-07:00

PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN It Still Does Nothing

SCSI System Can't See It

DOS Defunct Operating System

BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM I Blame Microsoft

DEC Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

Paying The Bill

2008-05-18T03:08:00.000-07:00

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face,the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, thenheld it out teasingly.The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her.
"Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

Sports Jokes

2008-05-17T05:34:00.000-07:00

Making Sense Of Football

Cletus took Maynard to his first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's Bench. After the game, Cletus asked Maynard how he liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," he replied, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, Cletus asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I mean, come on... it's only twenty-five cents!"

Baseball Heaven

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?"

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well... there is baseball in heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

Political Jokes

2008-05-17T05:26:00.000-07:00

"When Clinton said he was going to create 8 million new jobs, I didn't think they were all going to be tax collectors." -- Jay Leno

Why did Senator Hillary Clinton decide run for office?

She'd already been President for 8 years.

Getting The Right Name

2008-05-16T13:29:00.001-07:00

Trying to find just the right name for your child? Why not pick one of these?

Just find your profession below and we have the right name for you!

Lawyer's daughter: Sue

Thief's son: Rob

Lawyer's son: Will

Doctor's son: Bill

Hair stylist's son: Bob

Homeopathic doctor's son: Herb

Justice of the peace's daughter: Mary

Sound stage technician's son: Mike

Gambler's daughter: Bette

Iron worker's son: Rusty

TV star's daughter: Emmy

Movie star's son: Oscar

I'm Boss

2008-05-16T13:27:00.000-07:00

*The boss* was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't
getting any respect.

The next day, he brought a small sign that

Read:

"*I'm the Boss*!"

He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped
a note to the sign that said:

"*Your wife called, she wants her sign back*!"

Reason Why Never To Visit 7Star Hotel

2008-05-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: "tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"

Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

Computer - Password

2008-05-15T04:48:00.000-07:00

A guy was typing away at his home computer, when his six- year-old daughter sneaked up behind him.

Suddenly, she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"

"What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly.

Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

Thing You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

2008-05-15T04:46:00.000-07:00