A Life Outside the Box

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2012-01-06T16:06:00.000-06:00

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.
--Washington Irving

Wishes.....

2012-01-03T14:38:00.001-06:00

Saw this poem on a friend's blog and thought it a good way to begin the new year....

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright

no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain

to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness

to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain

so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss

to appreciate all you posses.

I wish you enough hellos

to get you through the good-byes."
--Anonymous

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2012-01-02T07:35:00.001-06:00

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12 NIV

Happy New Year!

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2011-12-24T08:27:00.003-06:00

Take a minute and stop by this blog to say a prayer for this sweet young family.

Get Well Patrick Kelly

I do not know them and will never meet them this side of heaven, but it would be wonderful for them to know that millions around the world are holding them up in prayer as they say a painful good-bye this Holiday. I cannot imagine the raw grief of making these sort of decisions anytime, let alone at Christmas. Leave them a note. Let them know you said a small prayer this Christmas.

Pass it on....

Hallelujah....Light Has Come...

2011-12-23T16:11:00.003-06:00

My very favorite Christmas song this year....

Thank-you for all your thoughts on my last posts.
I am taking some time to think and pray on things.

You have been a blessing to me.

Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Private

2011-12-19T19:58:00.004-06:00

I will be changing this blog over to private.

***UPDATED***

Have you ever heard the saying, "You never know what goes on behind closed doors"? Well that's the case here.

Earlier tonight I published a post stating the blog would be going private. In it I was harsh. Really harsh.

For those of you have prayed diligently (Whitney I'm talking to you) thank-you from the bottom of my heart. I mean that. It brings me to my knees.

The reality behind the "closed doors" is this.

A month or so ago I went to moderating comments. I had started receiving vicious comments. I also pretty much stopped posting anything about our adoption. You can look back and see. I can't take that. Some all of you might be stronger, but my heart is pretty fragile after this long of a fight.

Today I posted again. An update.

And the comments came in again. People who think they know what they're talking about. People who spew things they've read elsewhere. People who think that apparently I've lived under a rock for the past 6 1/2 years. People who say things that cut me to my core.

I'm not that strong.

I'm just not.

So tonight I was harsh. I never meant it to hurt those of you who've prayed. I really didn't and I'm sorry.

I want to lash out at those who are spewing this crap. I want them to look into my kids' eyes and tell them they don't deserve a family. I want them to see the reality of this situation, but it's truthfully none of their freaking business.

I want to put up walls and block this all out. Tonight I was a breath away from shutting down my blog forever.

But then there you are.

Those of you who've prayed. Who've cared. Who've supported us.

And YOU deserve to have the updates. To know what is really happening.

So from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry. Once again I sit here crying.

I'm sorry.

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2011-12-15T07:23:00.006-06:00

"We live by faith, not by sight."

2 Corinthians 5:7

Guatemala
December 12, 2011
Notice: Processing Plan for CNA cases

We have no idea where this will lead. As our pastor said so well, "I join you in praising God for these new signs of hope...even as I join you in holding out confidence only in God himself (and not in this process)."

And so, we wait.

Skeptical.

Doubtful.

Anxious.

Frightened.

Hopeful.

We covet your prayers.

A Blessed Thanksgiving to You!

2011-11-24T07:35:00.001-06:00

“Lord, we give You thanks for all that You in Your mercy have given us to be and to do and to have. Deliver us, Lord, from all greed to be and to do and to have anything not in accord with Your holy purposes. Teach us to rest quietly in Your promise to supply, recognizing that if we don’t have it we don’t need it. Teach us to desire Your will – nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else. For Jesus’ sake. Amen.”

(Elisabeth Elliot, Keep A Quiet Heart, pg. 126)

Love you all!

Miracles.....

2011-11-17T18:11:00.005-06:00

A story that MUST be told....

Precious, precious Katie....

Katie is NINE years old (yes, NINE)...her story is nothing short of a miracle here on earth....

READ THE MIRACLE OF KATIE HERE

(Have your kleenex ready)

Even if He Doesn't.....from Ann Voskamp

2011-11-04T07:20:00.002-05:00

From Ann Voskamp...soothing balm to my soul as we enter another Holiday Season without our two here....

“And what if He doesn’t?”

What if He doesn’t — what if He doesn’t do what we plea, what we pray, what we believe He can and will do and should do?

And the three men before fire, they whisper the startling answer in Daniel, the answer of all of holy writ and writhing humanity: “And even if He doesn’t” –

Even if He doesn’t do what we beg, we are still His beloved.

Even if He doesn’t, He still is.

Even if He doesn’t do what we will, His will is still right and His heart is still good and the people of God will not waver.

Real prayer has eyes on Christ, not the crisis.

Even if He doesn’t – He does give enough — Himself.

Even if He doesn’t – He does still love us.

“If He doesn’t — I will still believe. Still believe — in Him.”

Read the rest....

For those of you who signed...

2011-10-21T14:20:00.002-05:00

Son of God Orphanage closed, more details to follow
posted by Tom Davis | 2:18pm Friday October 21, 2011

An official statement is forthcoming…

This type of change is impossible without your voice and the voice of thousands. Over 10,000 voices joined together on behalf of the children of the Son of God orphanage. The government has acted to close the orphanage (see the AP report below confirming this).

READ MORE....

Thank-you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Help....

2011-10-19T14:39:00.002-05:00

I read this today and was horrified. Please, please repost this and spread the word. Something MUST be done...

"Help us be their voice"..."There are over 75 children in Son of God orphanage in Carrefour, Haiti. This orphanage is full of abuse, physical, sexual, emotional. Full, FULL of trafficking. Child trafficking (which one of the directors of the orphanage is now in jail for) and organ trafficking. Yes, ORGAN trafficking. Officials have been able to track organs back to this orphanage. Children’s organs...."

"A call to close Son of God orphanage"...."After continued visits to the Son of God Orphanage in Carrefour, Haiti, six charitable organizations (Adventures in Missions, Bridgeway Church, Timberline Church, Children's HopeChest, Journey Community Church, and Respire Haiti) have challenged the global community to force the hands of international leaders in the closure and investigation of the facility....."

Sad.

Devastating.

Disgusting.

Please do what you can to help these children.

Words....

2011-10-18T07:36:00.002-05:00

"It is a good thing to be without a trouble; but it is a better thing to have a trouble, and know how to get grace enough to bear it. I am not so much afraid of the devil when he roars, as I am when he pretends to go to sleep. I think that, oftentimes, a roaring devil keeps us awake; and the troubles of this life stir us up to go to God in prayer, and that which looks to us ill turns to our good. "We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.""

Charles Spurgeon

Vote!

2011-09-20T14:38:00.001-05:00

A Message from My Heartline Friends in Haiti...

We've got a lil story for ya, Ags!

We are a couple of Ol' Ags who lived in College Station for 14 years. Ten of those years were spent working with students from A&M. They sat on our couch, ate our food, made us laugh, made us crazy, and got our kids all riled up before bed. Thankfully those Aggies also kept our wardrobes cool and filled our lives with so much love and passion that it all evened out in the end.

Recently we moved our family to Haiti. We work with an organization called Heartline that has been here for the past 22 years. Our goal: We labor every day fighting the orphan crisis in this country by empowering Haitian women with the skills they need to keep their babies. We believe we're tackling this enormous, complex issue of orphan care at the root...by working to keep families together and rehabilitate their lives.

With a little bit of help, we could win a 50 thousand dollar private grant that would allow our program to expand. All we need is your vote and your assistance spreading the word. Will you help some fellow Aggies BTHO of the orphan crisis in Haiti? Please take two seconds (that's really all it takes), go to Giving of Life's website, and vote for Heartline. It takes one click to vote. Then will you spread the word and ask other Aggies to vote as well?

Heartline offers safe births, prenatal care, health teachings, and child development classes to women who would not have access to any of these basic services. We also provide literacy classes, and sewing and cooking schools. We have a teen mom house where young women live for two years, getting an education, studying a trade, and learning how to be attentive, loving mothers. Our desire is to offer the women of Haiti respect, dignity, education, and hope. Our heart for Haiti's babies is to keep them in the arms of their mothers if that is at all possible. We are finding it is possible. We are finding that the orphan crisis in Haiti is not because Haitian mothers do not want to parent their children. The orphan crises is multifaceted, but one of the main reasons there are so many orphans in Haiti is because mothers in this country do not have the means or skills they need to provide for their children. In desperation, they place their children in orphanages that seem to promise a better future than they can provide for their child. Haitian women are strong, beautiful mothers. They simply need life-changing information, job skills, safe births, encouragement, and support. With those tools, we have seen women fight for their kids, sacrifice for them, and love those children deeply.

If we win this grant the money will go towards building a maternity center where we can increase the amount of women we can care for during their pregnancies and deliveries. Maternal mortality and infant mortality rates in Haiti are unbelievably high. This maternity center will mean life for women and children. Every day women and children die needlessly in this country. We believe that with the 12th man standing with us more babies, more women, and ultimately families can be impacted.

When you vote for Heartline you vote for life. You vote for hope. You vote for families. You vote for protecting the vulnerable. You vote for the least of these.

Heartline is a reputable, registered, non-profit organization in Haiti.

Thanks to so many others voting for Heartline, we are currently in third place at Giving of Life. We know with the Fighting Texas Aggies standing with us, voting, and telling others about this grant opportunity we can give women, children, and families in Haiti a fighting chance.

Will you vote? Will you spread the word?

Thanks and Gig em!

-- Aaron and Heather Hendrick

To vote for Heartline, visit the Giving of Life Website.

_______________________________________________________________________

1. You can vote once from every computer, phone, ipad, or any device that gives you access to the internet.

2. You can get four more votes if you register with Giving of Life. They only ask you for three pieces of information when you register. I have never received one email from Giving of Life. I've asked around and no one else has gotten junk mail from them either.

PLEASE VOTE! This ministry is SO important to Haiti!

Choices...

2011-09-09T06:53:00.001-05:00

A beautiful reminder....

What are your choices? Whom are your choices for? Not just for yourself. Choose now whom you will serve, and that choice is going to affect the next generation, and the next generation, and the next.

Choice never affects just one person alone. It goes on and on and the effect goes out into geography and history. You are part of history and your choices become part of history.

~ Edith Schaeffer

The Creator....

2011-08-22T10:13:00.002-05:00

Dear Anonymous,

No.

But only because I do not obey or listen to the universe, I listen to The One who created the universe.

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

Happy Birthday...

2011-08-12T09:48:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is the kids' birthday. I have new pictures of them. I can't even post them. It hurts too much to see them so grown up.

I have nothing good to say.

Nothing.

Some of you have asked if there is something that can be done on the US side. Truthfully there isn't. Let me just say the US is doing everything they can. That is not the hold-up. I do not understand how they can forget about the children. That is all I will say.

I cannot comprehend this. My children are growing up without a family. It is wrong. Plain and simple.

From the Livesays in Haiti....

2011-08-03T12:31:00.001-05:00

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Emily

A storm is slowly heading this direction. For those of us in sturdy cement structures it will be an inconvenience.

For those living under tarps and sheets it will be devastating. Their ability to "prepare" for the coming rain and wind is basically nil. All the forewarning in the world still doesn't provide them the options they would need to truly protect their families and possessions from the storm.

Please be in prayer for thousands of people in this situation.

July..

2011-07-12T09:41:00.005-05:00

July is hard for me. Especially the end of July. It means the kids' birthdays are coming again in a month. It means they are again one year older. It means another birthday of having to try send things from here to there. And wishing things were so much different.

It also means, that even if a miracle occurs today and the process suddenly begins again, my kids still won't be home for Christmas. It's just not even possible.

Last night I just lay in bed and the tears came. Deep sobs. My arms physically ache to hold my growing kids.

The questions begin.

The begging begins.

God and me there in the stillness of the night.

There are times when the pain is so deep and so real that it overwhelms me.

July is one of those times.

This too shall pass, but in the meantime, I grieve for all that has been lost and for 6 years of pain. I struggle to find meaning to what is happening and to once again release control of something I have no control over. I fervently believe that God is involved in all this. I have to believe because not believing is even more painful and lonely.

July is hard.

Nothing....

2011-07-11T09:02:00.004-05:00

I think of this blog most every day. Each time I see that little icon under my bookmarks, I think I should really post something because I know so many of you continue to pray for our kids.

But the truth is, there's nothing to post.

Time continues on, and our kids continue being stuck in a country that refuses to let them go.

They continue to grow up, alone and without a family. They don't understand.

And we certainly don't either.

I'm sure God has a plan in all this. But truthfully, I'm hard pressed to find the good in it. Maybe some day we will understand. Maybe that day will not be until Heaven.

So for now, please keep praying for a miracle. God certainly can move mountains should He choose to. We believe that with all our hearts. Thank-you for being faithful readers and friends. The journey has been so long and we couldn't have made it this far without you all.

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2011-06-25T09:48:00.000-05:00

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Kung Fu Panda 2-Warning

2011-05-29T08:05:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to warn those of you who have children who struggle with attachment or who have adopted children who are more sensitive, Kung Fu Panda 2 has a very strong adoption theme. It wrestles with some tough issues that woult be better addressed somewhere other than a movie theater.

Just saying. ;)

Six Years....

2011-05-16T14:28:00.009-05:00

Six years of waiting. Of longing. Of not understanding. I miss them so badly that sometimes I think my heart will wither away.

I have been finding some comfort in the story of Jacob. How he waited seven years for Rachel, only to be given Leah. How he waited another seven. And I get it. How horrible his wait must have been. How deep his longing. How unfair it all must have felt.

I wonder too, did he question God? Did he wonder why God didn't seem to hear his prayers? Anymore I find myself quiet in the presence of God. Not begging. Not pleading. Not even praying. Just being. He is God. I am not. He will do what He wills, whether or not I understand. So I sit quietly. Nothing to say. Maybe finally at peace with understanding how little I know, really know, about my God. How incomprehensible He truly is.

My faith is solid.
My heart is not.

My heart is weeping. Broken. Trampled.

I don't understand the evil in this world. I can't comprehend it. The injustice. The children who suffer. A God who rules it all, but doesn't remove it all.

Psalm 27:3-4

Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.

One thing I ask from the LORD,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple

Forgive me if I cannot talk to you this week.

Forgive me if I randomly burst into tears.

Forgive me if I become angry or pull away when you reach out.

Forgive me if I don't answer the phone or come to the door.

I can't.

The well of pain runs too deep.

Yet, please know that I appreciate more than anything, your prayers. Because ultimately this ends with Him.

He is God.

Psalm 46:10a
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God"

Holly's post.....

2011-04-28T18:07:00.003-05:00

This is a must read post by a precious adoptive mom:

When Birthdays Bring Sorrow

If you have adopted or you hope to adopt, you need to realize that there is a loss at the heart of adoption. Please don't shove posts like Holly's under the rug, thinking that will never happen in your family. I don't care if your child was adopted at 7 years or 7 hours, the reality is that adoption is steeped in loss. It is literally a band-aid in an open wound. You cannot, for your child's sake, pretend like that loss never happened.

The best thing we can do as parents is be on our knees. Praying for wisdom, guidance, and healing. Answering those tough questions when they arise. And loving our babies who's hearts are broken.

If you haven't read the post yet, I challenge you now to click on that link and read. Allow yourself to ask yourself those very questions for your child.

Do it for them.

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2011-04-24T08:24:00.002-05:00

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!
PRAISE GOD FOR THE RESURRECTION!

*A Life Outside the Box*

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There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.--Washington Irving