Pregnant, Not Fat.

The best kind of dream

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 07:14:15 -0500

One minute ago…

Jackson: ‘Morning, Gray! Did you have good dreams last night?’

Gray: ‘YEAH!’

Jackson: ‘What were your dreams about?’

Gray: ‘CHEESE!’

If you haven’t seen this sweet video yet, you should. What...

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 12:30:05 -0500

If you haven’t seen this sweet video yet, you should.

What a wonderful way to announce #2.

At some point during this horrendous sickness I realized that...

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 12:30:05 -0500

At some point during this horrendous sickness I realized that its nasty little germs were spread across our entire house, from G’s little paws alone.

So I set to cleaning and disinfecting everything.

While we’re now a 99.9% green-cleaning home, I did find a bit of Clorox left in an old bottle in our basement. I set to work cleaning the bathrooms, door handles, light switches, and more with the bleach.

I don’t know if it’s from years of using natural cleaners, or if I just went a little too far, but at one point I looked at Jackson and asked him if he was getting a headache from the smell of the bleach. My eyes were literally watering and I was dizzy, and I was two rooms away from it.

Gray was at school, so I had taken liberty with the sprayer, but it was too much.

So I turned to my beloved Pinterest ‘Clean’ Board for a solution. Some people post DIY projects like sweaters, bracelets, bathroom renovations and more. But I’m more realistic in my DIY-capabilities, and usually stick to natural home cleaners.

I found this beauty tucked away. Hydrogen Peroxide, Lemon Juice, and Water.

Done.

It has the lightest scent of lemon, cleans remarkably well (even on stainless steel - no streaking!) and feels just as cleansing as the Clorox, minus the toxic fumes.

Hallelujah!

Morning, sunshine!

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 10:12:39 -0500

I’m loving my thirty days of Naturopathica. Seriously.

Of the products I’m trying, I start my day with two of my favorites.

The Oat Polish is a light exfoliator. Again, I normally wouldn’t think to exfoliate every day, but I think it’s made my skin a lot softer and has done a great job of sloughing away 21 months of being a Mom and not taking the best care of my skin.

I also love love the Beech Tree lotion. My normal routine was a swish of warm water on my face, with face soap if I was lucky, and then my favorite tinted moisturizer before rushing off to help change/feed/dress/clean/etc the little man.

But now I wash with the Polish, and then do a layer of the Beech Tree lotion before tinted moisturizer. My skin feels one thousand times happier, more hydrated and cared for, especially in these dry winter months.

Though I’ve never before gone with a dictated skin regimen (usually piecing together a bit of whatever is in the bathroom I’m washing up in) I will absolutely be ordering both of these once my samples are up!

“I want coffee!”!? The child gets funnier every day.

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 22:02:00 -0500

“I want coffee!”!? The child gets funnier every day.

If this infamous stomach bug is in a town near you, run as fast...

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:51:00 -0500

If this infamous stomach bug is in a town near you, run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.

It hit our little home like a hurricane, leaving Gray so so sick. I’ve never seen him like this. In between throwing up, lying on this exact spot on the floor was all he wanted.

Absolutely horrible.

Oh crap…this is a little close to home! Luckily there are...

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:37:00 -0500

Oh crap…this is a little close to home! Luckily there are no Mandarin tutors or Bugaboos in sight!

What a welcome laugh.

Holstein 'babies'.

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 14:30:00 -0500

**Hmmmm…this was a post from nearly two years ago, that for some reason reposted…?

_________

Weird title, right?

A month before my due date, I went out on an emergency call with my good friend who is a large-animal vet.

Boy was that an education.

She was responding to a panicked call from a dairy farmer whose prize cow had been in labor for days and wasn’t progressing. As I learned, cows (and most animals) can pretty much be left alone to labor, unless there’s a problem.

As we learned when we arrived and my friend stuck her entire arm up the cow’s woohoo (I promise not to use stupid names to teach Gray anatomy, but at this point I’m still too immature) was that there were not one but two calves in there, both breach.

Along with us was another good friend who was in town visiting, in med school and starting her residency. Therefore, of course this medical challenge was fascinating to her, as she can talk the talk.

I, however, was the huge pregnant lady cowering in the corner of the barn, wondering why they didn’t put a blanket on the cow to keep her warm, and slightly pissed that the lights weren’t kept lower nor was there soothing music being pumped through the barn for the poor mama. Where was the flipping hypnobirthing cd?

I’ll spare you the many details, but at one point my fearless and incredible vet friend walked over to me and quietly said, ‘I’m about to deliver the calves, and they’re both probably going to be stillborn…are you okay, or do you want to leave?”

Sweet, sweet friend who knows me well enough to know I can’t stand anything sad happening to any living breathing creature, and who knew I was a mere week or two away from looking like that cow, and wanting to spare me the probable sadness that was coming.

Much to both of our surprises, I stayed.

I stayed for the same reason that I someday want to become a Hospice volunteer, not because I’m so incredibly tough, but just the opposite. I have such a hard time with death that it hits me really hard when I’m faced with it, and I know I need to come face to face with it.

Sadly, neither calf was alive when they arrived, though I kept secretly hoping that they would jump up and it’d be like watching a scene from a Disney movie as they tried to walk around the barn. My friend put them in front of the mama so that she could have a last-ditch effort, but despite her licking and nudging, they were gone.

Standing in that barn with my doctor friends and tough Vermont farmers who have seen it all, I had tears streaming down my face. I was glad I stayed, but I’ll never forget that poor cow trying to coax her babies to life. I cannot imagine a worse feeling.

I know too many people who are having a hard time getting pregnant, or who have had complications along the way. There are no words for how lucky I feel to have gone full-term and delivered a healthy baby boy, and with that experience comes the appreciation for just how precious, and fragile, life is.

Thinking back on that early morning in the barn, I was HUGE with ‘Bundle’ and had no idea what lay ahead, as I watched my worst nightmare unfold in animal form in front of me. I guess you never know what life will hand you, or why things happen.

Sad, hard things happen to good people. And cows. But good things happen too.

Today, my friend walked into my office and pressed ‘play’ on his iphone….it was the recording of his baby’s heartbeat, due to arrive in July. I couldn’t help the tears that sprang to my eyes, remembering that same moment when we heard Gray’s heartbeat, and thinking about what lies ahead for my friends as they count down the days till their little bundle arrives.

Though we didn’t stay in touch, I’m ever-hopeful that that mama cow from last spring has had several healthy, happy calves since that sad blustery day. She deserves it, and so do the many wonderful families out there who want so badly to have a baby.

Long weekend.

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 21:17:49 -0500

Long weekend.

More sleeping, less puking. We’re getting there.

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 13:08:57 -0500

More sleeping, less puking. We’re getting there.

Oh my lordy. We woke up to a sick little man this morning....

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 12:12:39 -0500

Oh my lordy.

We woke up to a sick little man this morning.

As I was rushing him to the bathroom he threw up, allllll over me.

Then all over the bed, the bathroom, the living room floor…the list goes on.

More than anything I just feel terrible for him. Throwing up is scary, and every time he looks at us, and if I could read the thoughts going through his head I think it’d go a little like this:
‘WHAT THE EFF IS HAPPENING TO ME AND WHY WON’T YOU MAKE IT STOP?’

Poor thing.

He’s now switched to more sleeping, less puking, and we’re hoping that the rest of the day continues on that path.

Another Clementine?

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:30:00 -0500

Not sure if it’s been around for awhile as I just found it, but I love this website! The shop is built up of the owner’s favorite Brooklyn brands, and from around the world.

Looks great, Darling Clementine!

(p.s. of course my allegiances are to ‘my‘ Clementine)

A birthday present, ten months later.

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 12:30:06 -0500

My friend and coworker did the most amazing thing.

Last year, for my birthday, she gave me a card that simply read:

Three Hours of Free Babysitting.

Could there be a nicer present to give a (newish) mom?

Well, ten months later I took her up on it. Gray got to hang out at our house, play basketball, make pizza and read books with my friend and her daughter, while Jackson and I went out on a real date.

Drinks, dinner. No dancing, technically, though I was practically dancing as I surprised Jackson with the plan for a dinner out, just us.

So if you have a friend with a baby/toddler/kiddo who doesn’t get out much but loves to catch up with her husband every six months or so, I highly recommend this gift. It works for Christmas, Valentine’s and Columbus Day as well.

Oh, I get it.

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:30:00 -0500

Pregnant bellies and babies are in the air.

Friends, coworkers, yoga buddies…everyone!

As Gray’s second birthday looms near (HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?), our decision long ago that we wanted two kids is forever swimming through my brain.

I bring up the idea, and timing, of Bundle 2.0 (should we be so lucky) often to Jackson, and am more often than not met with a nod (that’s it).

I don’t mean to portray Jackson as an insensitive jerk, because he’s not at ALL. He’s the most caring, thoughtful, loving person I know (besides Gray). He just doesn’t launch into the thousands of questions and thoughts that I have, yet.

And then the other day I had an epiphany…thinking about a baby is so, so, so different for the mom than it is for the dad.

To the dad, it means having a baby. To the mom, it means being PREGNANT…and THEN having a baby, and breastfeeding and co-sleeping and diaper subscriptions, and cracked nipples and pumping and on and on.

For Jackson, thinking about having another baby means deciding to try, and then welcoming a new Bundle months down the road. Sure, his wife’s circumference will drastically increase and he’ll have less room in the bed, but not much else changes for the dad other than having a designated driver if he has a drink with dinner.

But for me, for the woman, our worlds change course the millisecond we decide we’re ready to get pregnant. Having a baby begins the moment you decide to try, and you start to mentally, emotionally and physically prepare and process what a huge change those ten pregnant months will be, long before the baby ever shows up.

I can honestly say that I loved being pregnant. I loved every second of it (though those early beer gut days before my bump arrived were a bit humiliating, hence the title of this blog) and can’t wait to experience that rounded belly and those kicks to the ribs again. But it’s so much to take in, so much change that happens to your body when you’re the one carrying the baby.

Not only is it a shift in your eating and drinking habits (for me, that meant no crazy cheeses, no caffeine and no alcohol, but to each her own), but it’s this wholehearted selfless giving of yourself to someone else. Suddenly your body is no longer your own. You have zero control over what’s happening, and you have to roll with everything that comes your way.

Aside from hearing about these changes from me, that’s the extent that they really affected Jackson when I was pregnant with Bundle, so of course he wouldn’t think of having a baby/getting pregnant the same way I do.

So it makes sense that even if we’re a month, a year, two years, whatever away from trying again, to me it’s forefront in my mind because it’s my body. And to Jackson, it’s a baby down the road.

And that’s okay, especially now that I’ve realized why it’s so different for us both. As long as we’re on the same page about when and why, we’re good. Plus I’ll get to cash in on almost a year of mandatory foot massages, which will make up for all the mental energy I expended thinking about it when he got to just nod.

Pink nails does not a Valentines girl make me. (But I still love presents.)

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:12:12 -0500

Last night I found myself with something crazy…twenty minutes of free time. So I sat down to paint my nails, pink, only to realize that it was the eve of Valentine’s Day.

Ironically Jackson and I decided, long ago, not to ’do’ Valentine’s Day.

Instead, our goal is to do something, just us, around the same time so that we still have the chance to spend some time together, without going the red roses route every February 14th.

Recently Jackson quietly mentioned that I was so hard to buy for. For every guy out there who has uttered these words, I have one thing to say to you.

Give me a break!!

First of all, massages and pedicures exist for exactly this reason. What mom out there wouldn’t love a little pocket of time all to herself to be pampered!

I have Wish Lists of things I’ve fallen in love with online on my Pinterest Board and Amazon Wish List (does it get easier than that?), as I’m guessing many other ladies do as well.

If you don’t want a softball like that (which, I’ll admit, it’s always slightly less exciting to get something you’ve already picked out…my favorite presents from Jackson are always something he’s picked out himself), there are some go-tos that, in my opinion, you can never go wrong with.

Flowers…especially her favorite. (peonies, stargazer lilies, and tulips for this girl)
Make her dinner. And do the dishes.
If you have a little one, give her the gift of not only sleeping in, but taking your little babe out so that she can really sleep without feeling guilty about it.
Make breakfast.
Clean the shower/tub (maybe that’s just my dream, as I hate that chore more than anything)

The list goes on, and I know it’s different for every person, but to me gifts are a fun little way to treat someone you love to something they will (hopefully) love. And more than anything, it’s a reminder that you think of that person. Even on a day when no one is telling you to.

Ouch, heart. That really hurts.

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:47:14 -0500

Nothing breaks your heart like lying in bed listening to the littlest love of your life cry and shriek ‘MAMA!MAMA!MAMA!MYMAMA’ over and over.

While I know it’s good for him to be able to self-soothe and get himself back to sleep, it is literally heartbreaking.

And minutes before Valentines Day, no less. The child is strategic.

And suddenly...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 16:54:00 -0500

…things change.

We have what feels like five million major life decisions sitting in our laps right now, but one change that required no decision on our part but has been an unexpected shift has been life with Gray when we’re at home.

Gone are the days where one of us needs to be glued to his side, to keep him out of danger, keep him entertained or just simply keep him. Suddenly, in the last month, we’ve entered this refreshing new phase where Gray entertains himself, and likes to have some alone time.

Sure, he’ll usually initially come to one of us wanting to read a book, play ‘hoooop’ (basketball) or provide him with a snack, but if we simply tell him that we’re doing X and invite him to go read in his tent, or play with his tractor, he often will. It’s amazing.

I was cleaning the house the other day, and for three straight hours all I did was check in with him as I passed from room to room, while he happily entertained himself playing with whatever seemed the most fun when we were in that part of the house.

In thinking about making dinner tonight, we don’t have to decide who ‘has Gray’ and who’s making dinner. Instead we’ll all just be at home, doing our things. He might help me make dinner, he might read with Jackson. Or he might just head into his room and play. All by himself.

Other parents of toddlers can, I think, grasp what a huge change this is in our lives. Suddenly we don’t have to wait until he’s asleep in bed to actually get something done.

Of course with this new-found independence comes new risks, like eating chalk or going upstairs by himself (both of which he attempted yesterday), but it’s still a nice shift.

I love love love spending time with G, but I also appreciate seeing his little independent spirit emerge as he finds his own ways to entertain himself and likes having some time and space to sit in his tent and read without one of us bothering him.

It’s true what they say about being a parent…everything changes, daily, emotionally and culturally as soon as your Bundle arrives. But sometimes the best changes are least expected.

Traveling Toddler.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:30:05 -0500

In addition to the things I learned on our trip out, here are my takeaways from our return flights.

If your child is under 12, they don’t have to remove their shoes to go through security.
According to a flight attendant, they should always hand you an infant life vest before departure. Of our four flights, this only happened twice (you can ask for it).
Always, always change your little one’s diaper in the airport, before take-off. Changing a diaper mid-flight in that tiny, smelly plane bathroom is horrible for both of you.
Pack more snacks and books/activities then you think you’ll need. If it’s not a sleeping flight (which you can never count on even if it is over naptime/bedtime), I guarantee you’ll need them.
Time the treats. We didn’t pull out anything until we’d taken off (because he was so entertained by everything happening on the runway), and then it was just one activity/treat at a time. Book…toy…snack…etc.
Give your kiddo something to eat for departure and take-off to keep their little jaws working and ears happy.
Fill up your sippy cup before getting on the plane, because inevitably your child will be SO THIRSTY the moment you can’t get up to get water during takeoff. We also asked the flight attendant to fill up his sippy cup with water before landing, so that it’d be full for the layover.
Speaking of, there’s only one thing to do during layovers. Run. Treat each layover like bootcamp where you’re sole purpose is to tire your kiddo out. Gray ran up and down the moving walks, through terminals, pushing his stroller (sorry, Chicago!) or just sprinting. We took turns running after him, giving him the chance to just run and explore.

With all that said, we’re happy not to be getting on another plane for a little while! That was our last flight, most likely, where he’ll be on our laps which will also save the circulation in my legs but also mean much pricier airfare next time around and more to learn about how you keep a toddler in his own seat.

Know what this is? A pile of adorable spring/summer clothes for...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:30:00 -0500

Know what this is?

A pile of adorable spring/summer clothes for the little man, procured in one quick trip and for less than $60.

How, you might ask?

One word…Target.

Though a Vermonter through and through who despises chains and franchises, somehow Target is my one exception and true love. I love it.

And I really love that I literally just stocked up on just about all of G’s needs in one quick, inexpensive trip.

Yes, of course ideally I’d always love to shop locally and buy only organic threads for Gray, but that’s just not always possible.

It’s truly the one shortcoming of VT, no Target.

Lucky for me we have family in CO, which not only provides the excuse to visit some of the most fun, interesting, hilarious people in the world, but also allows me to sneak away to my beloved Target for my beloved boy.

And if I happened to pick up a thing or two for me while there, how can you blame me?

And we’re off! We’re making him wait about two...

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:12:27 -0500

And we’re off!

We’re making him wait about two hours for his nap so this should be interesting.