Present and Accounted For, Thank You!

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #11: Milestone Gratitude

2012-09-24T23:54:00.002-04:00

"(Gratitude is) one of the things that stands between where we are and where we really want to be."

-Seth David Chernoff

Milestone Gratitude is simply taking time to say "Thank You" to your Higher Power for providing life, food, rest, financial support, shelter, and all other "everyday" blessings up to this point in your life, whenever you reach a new milestone.

For example, you can say, "thank you for letting me live to see another birthday!"

Or, "thank you for letting me live long enough to see another Christmas!" Remember, regardless of how you feel about these events, many will not live to see their next birthday, or the next holiday on the calendar.

You can also do this for each new day, for example: "thank you for letting me see another Wednesday!" Many people were not so lucky!

You can also express your gratitude every time you start a new week, or month, or year. (Thank you for letting me live to see another September! Thank you for letting me live to see 2012!)

More milestones when you can express gratitude are:
-your children's birthdays
-your parents' birthdays
-the onset of a vacation
-the beginning of a concert
-the end of a dinner
-the wedding of a friend or family member
-sunrise or sunset
-Homecoming at your Alma mater
-the end of a work day
-Halloween
-Veteran's Day
-Flag Day
-Earth Day
-and so on...

The possibilities are endless! Come up with any milestone you can think of, anything that occurs regularly, and I guarantee you there are many people who will not live to experience it, or who are experiencing it under less than ideal circumstances. So each time you DO live to experience it and experience it well, take that opportunity to give thanks!

It is important to note that in order for Milestone Gratitude to be beneficial, you must really feel grateful in your heart in the moment as you think, write, or say these statements. It cannot be done mindlessly, like how we zone out while writing thank you notes, or recite prayers over our food without thinking.

As all my posts emphasize, gratitude works best when it is felt in the moment. You'll feel it springing up in real time from a mysterious place deep down inside, it will be unmistakable. And likewise mindfulness, while extremely beneficial when used alone, is that much more effective when feelings of gratitude are what you have to pay attention to! I can't stress it enough: gratitude and mindfulness work hand in hand to produce astronomically positive change. I'm on a mission to let the whole world know!

Give Milestone Gratitude a try. I can promise you'll find more and more things to be grateful for in your life, and you'll begin feeling better and better in general.

Be well, and I wish you and yours many more happy milestones to celebrate! :)

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #10: Gratitude While Doing Something New

2012-09-20T18:21:00.000-04:00

"Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy."
-Sarah Ban Breathnach

Make an effort to seek out activities that you have never experienced before, like skydiving or bungee jumping, or a new roller coaster at a local theme park.

Or, if you prefer things a little less extreme, try something small, but still new to you. Take a different route to a destination, eat on a different plate, sleep on a different side of the bed, watch a new television program.

While engaged in the new activity, constantly look for reasons to be grateful. Like, for example, if you choose to watch a new TV program, and you see someone get into a screaming match with one of their loved ones (a very common sight these days!), that could remind you to be grateful that you and your significant other's relationship does not include similar fights.

Or perhaps the program is dealing with some problem that you have never had and probably never will have to deal with, like drug addiction, or trying to lose 500 pounds, or eating Ajax (ahem, Strange Addictions!). These are all reasons to be thankful!

As human beings, when we do things that we have never done before, it is natural for us to stay focused and pay attention. Therefore, doing something new is a great way to keep your mind fresh and connected to the present moment. Try it, you'll see--it is much easier to "Be Here Now" when you are engaged in something new, interesting, or different.

Let me know the new things you try! I'd love to know what they are, and some things you noticed to be grateful for as a result of doing them.

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #9: Grateful Walking, Breathing, and Eating

2012-09-20T17:57:00.000-04:00

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”
― Thornton Wilder

Grateful Walking

Try this the next time you walk anywhere for any reason. With every step, identify something to be grateful for related to the walking process; for example, you could thank your feet and legs for holding you up and supporting you so effectively, your brain for learning the activity so completely that you can do it without thinking, or your muscles for doing exactly what they're supposed to do, and exactly what you expect them to do, with no unpleasant surprises.

Grateful Breathing

Every time you feel a breath come in, give thanks to your Higher Power for supplying it, realizing that it was not promised, and that there are many others who wish they had a breath to notice, or wish they had the easy ability to breathe. (A drowning person gasping for air, for example, would absolutely LOVE to trade places with you.) Be thankful also for your breath as it goes out, thankful for all the beneficial things it did while it was in your body. Be thankful during the pauses in between breaths, for that feeling of certainty you have that another breath is coming. Repeat!

Grateful Eating

With every bite, thank your Higher Power for something: for the food and sustenance on your fork, for the taste of the food in your mouth, maybe for allowing you to taste something you really enjoy one more time, or for all the times you've gotten to taste it in the past. Be thankful for the fork, and how it keeps you from having to get your hands dirty. Be thankful for the plate and how it holds your food. Be thankful for the temperature of the food, the fact that the food is not making you sick, or maybe that the food was prepared for you by someone else.

These three activities are wonderful ones for practicing gratitude and mindfulness, since we do them all the time. Focusing on them can be a transformative experience!

Let me know your experiences with grateful walking, breathing, and eating. I can't wait to hear from you!

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #8: Mundane Task Gratefulness

2012-09-20T17:07:00.001-04:00

In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.
-- Albert Clarke

As you probably know, it is essential to stop trying to escape the present moment if you are ever going to learn to love and enjoy ALL of your life. Using this exercise, you can breathe new life into tasks that are currently annoying or boring to you. With time and practice, you will be blown away by how much joy you will begin to derive from the very activities that formerly weighed you down with negativity. Loving every moment of your life is always the goal! And learning to love your everyday chores (or "Home Kung Fu, as I like to call it) is a great way to make that happen.

The next time you are doing something mundane, like washing dishes or mowing the lawn, focus on an object in the moment and think of some way to be grateful for it, directly or indirectly.

For example, you may look at a dish and think, "thank you for letting my eyes see such a beautiful shade of yellow." Or "thank you for the food that was on this dish." Or perhaps "thank you for providing this dish to hold my food for me."

(I mean really, what WOULD we do without dishes?? Like Bebe and Cece sang years ago, "don't wanna think about it...I said I don't wanna think about it...")

While mowing the lawn, you could say, "thank you for making it so easy to cut the grass compared to olden days." Or "thank you for the row I just cut, and therefore won't have to cut again until next week." Those are causes for celebration!

(Or, if you DO cut grass like in days of yore, rejoice that you have the body strength and agility to get the job done! I imagine that's an activity that would take some serious skill. I'm sure not everyone can do it!)

You can do the same thing while paying bills, or while making your daily commute. "Thank you for letting me have enough money in my bank account to pay these bills." "Thank you for my independence." "Thank you for allowing me to have a car."

(Or a bike, or two good working legs! No matter what category you fall into, you can ALWAYS find something to be extremely thankful for, something that others don't have and WISH they had.)

WARNING: Don't be surprised at how fascinating and beautiful your world will become through this practice! You will find yourself marveling at how you could have possibly missed all this beauty around you in the past, and your heart will be filled to overflowing with gratitude and wonder. (I spontaneously break out singing Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" on a regular basis, complete with tears! :-D) You will start to realize the fundamental truth of this statement: With so many beautiful things to look at, who has time to complain?

The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Let me know if you have any success with Exercise #8! I look forward to hearing about your experiences.

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #7: Awareness Without Agenda

2012-09-20T00:32:00.000-04:00

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
–Buddha

Be aware of your surroundings, the sounds you hear, the sensations in your body, et cetera, with as little thought as possible. But don't try to stop your thoughts. If they come, just listen to them. Let your only conscious, on-purpose thought be: "Aware".

All that exists is in this instant.
-Marta Davidovich Ockuly

This simple technique has been very effective in keeping me mindful. I'm not sure why! There's just something about the word "Aware" that brings me back to the present moment every time. I hope you can find luck with this exercise as well! Try it and let me know how it goes for you.

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #6: Be Thankful for Things in the Future NOW

2012-09-17T03:27:00.000-04:00

"The daily practice of gratitude is one of the conduits by which your wealth will come to you."

-Wallace Wattles

I often struggle with getting caught up in my daydreams, always believing the future is going to be better than the present somehow. If you, like me, find yourself perpetually stuck in the future, again, just like in Exercise #5, use it to your advantage and go ahead and be thankful for those things that you're wishing for as if they're right there in front of you. Don't be surprised if they actually start showing up as a result of this practice!

On the contrary, if you're worrying about some potential calamity, a great way to bring yourself back to the present moment is to be thankful that it hasn't happened, that so far it's only in your mind, and that you can always re-direct your mind to something else.

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”
-Anthony Robbins

Many people are slaves to "future thinking." Is this something you struggle with? Or have you found a way to overcome it, perhaps with the "thanking in advance" technique? Let me know!

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #5: Be Thankful for Things in the Past NOW

2012-09-17T00:47:00.000-04:00

“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”
-Alphonse Karr

One of my favorite books of all time is "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. If you've read it, then you're familiar with Eckhart's statements about the Pain-Body and it how it feeds on the past:

[The Pain Body] will create negative situations in your life so that it can feed on the energy. It wants more pain, in whatever form. It is pure pain, past pain – and it is not you.

The truth is that the only power there is is contained within this moment: It is the power of your presence. Once you know that, you also realize that you are responsible for your inner space now – nobody else is – and that the past cannot prevail against the power of the Now.

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #5 will be helpful to you if you are someone who repeatedly feeds their Pain-Body by continually reliving the past, either by constantly yearning for "better days gone by", or by never-ending-ly obsessing about how negative your life situation has been up until now.

With a little practice, you can learn to be thankful NOW for things that have happened in your past, negative AND positive. On the positive end of the spectrum, you can be thankful for all the pleasant memories you have, maybe even dwelling on particular ones and reliving the feelings they bring up, and being thankful for those feelings as well, both that you got to feel them "then", and most of all that you get to feel them "NOW".

If you frequently think about some part of your past that you consider to be negative, turn it around by being thankful that it didn't turn out worse than it did, or try to find some things that you DID appreciate about the situation, and realize those positive aspects of the situation didn't have to be there. In other words, "it could've been worse." Find the roses on your particular thorns. They are always there! You just have to look for them.

WARNING: This exercise can be annoying and counterproductive at first if you're not careful! It's wise to spend only a few minutes at a time at it if you're just beginning your gratitude and mindfulness practice. Start by jotting down a few positive things about your past in your Gratitude Journal instead of sitting and letting your mind run wild on past negative events. Remember to take baby steps! A good rule of thumb is, if you feel any type of bad feeling creeping up in your body, STOP immediately! Gratitude and mindfulness should ALWAYS feel good. The feelings associated with them are unmistakable, you'll always know when you're getting it right.

Let me know if you try this exercise, and what your results were! Or, if you know other effective ways of making peace with your past in the present moment, feel free to share that as well!

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #4: Thank You for the Things That Didn't Go Wrong Today, That Could've

2012-09-16T20:43:00.002-04:00

"If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."

-- Rabbi Harold Kushner

Think of all the tragic things that happen every day to people you know or have heard about. Now stop and think about your own life situation for a moment. What has kept these things from happening to you or your loved ones? Only the grace of your Higher Power! As they say, "There, but for the grace of God, go I." It can be an amazingly gratifying experience to sit back and realize how bad things COULD be, but aren't.

Here are some examples of things that COULD'VE gone wrong for you, but thank God they didn't:

-Maybe you drove today, and didn't get in an accident.

-Maybe you or a loved one DID get in an accident, but there was no injury or loss of life.

-Maybe you were speeding today, but didn't get a ticket.

-Maybe you ate a large amount of food, and didn't gain any unwanted weight.

-Maybe you've made it to your current age without any serious illnesses or injuries.

-I know you've been eating everyday just like the rest of us...and when was the last time you got food poisoning?

-Same goes for breathing, we all do it all the time...yet when was the last time you contracted an airborne illness?

-Maybe you've used a knife, but didn't cut yourself.

-Perhaps you've been walking through your house or apartment without suffering any stubbed or broken toes (it has happened to me before!).

-Maybe you've been walking or otherwise moving, without suffering any pulled muscles or broken bones.

-Maybe you're an alcohol drinker, but you've never gotten alcohol poisoning, or a DUI.

-Maybe you're one of the many people who smoke marijuana on a regular basis, but have never been arrested.

-Maybe you drive on a regular basis, and your car never breaks down.

-Just about all of us use electricity, yet it's very rare to hear of someone being electrocuted.

-I don't know about you, but I've left my house just about every day for the past 33 years, and I have yet to be assaulted or robbed.

-Maybe you are one of the many among us who did NOT get a call that one of your friends or family members passed away during the previous night.

-When WAS the last time you got a call with some REALLY bad news? I've never gotten one that I can think of.

-Maybe your child made it through school all last week/month/year without any suspensions or expulsions.

-Many of us peacefully went to work, and no one came in and "went postal."

-Again, I can't speak for anyone else, but last night I went to sleep, and this morning I woke up alive!

-A lot of us use electronics in a given day, and the devices usually do not break, and most or all work exactly the way they're supposed to, every time.

-Maybe you haven't had a home invasion today, or since last week/month/year, or ever.

-Maybe you don't feel any pain in your body right now.

-Perhaps you are able to use the bathroom without pain.

-Or, whenever you have the urge to use the bathroom, you have enough control over your body to wait until you get yourself situated in the bathroom to address the urge properly (many can't do this!).

-Perhaps you didn't suffer any annoying advances from unwanted suitors today.

-Maybe you didn't have any rashes or pimples or other breakouts today. (I struggled with breakouts as a teenager, so that one is very special to me.)

-Maybe you have sex with your partner, or with whoever, as many people do, and you don't have any sexually transmitted diseases.

The list could go on and on. You'll notice, after just a few minutes of thinking up things for this exercise, you will find yourself almost WEAK with good feelings. And notice--all these situations you are grateful for are the way things are RIGHT NOW. Gratitude is the best way I've found to stay anchored in the Present!

I'm sure you can find many other examples in your own life similar to the ones I've listed here. Leave a comment below and share some of them with me, I'd love to hear them!

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #3: Comparative Gratitude

2012-09-16T18:02:00.003-04:00

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

-Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

For this exercise, simply think of things in your life that can fill in the blank in the sentence below.

Compared to _______, I'm very lucky!

Every time you think of a person or group of people to add to your list, the reasons why you're better off will automatically become apparent to you, and before you know it, your heart and mind will be absolutely filled to bursting with gratitude! From there, enjoy the feeling of gratitude in your body.

Here are some Comparative Gratitude fill-in-the-blank examples to get you started:

Compared to_______, I'm very lucky!
-people in the 1800's
-people in third world countries
-people with serious and/or terminal illnesses
-homeless people
-people in jail
-young people
-old people
-black people
-white people
-men
-women
-married people
-single people
-people with children
-people without children
-people with jobs
-people without jobs
-people in mental institutions
-people in the ghetto
-people in the suburbs
-rich people
-poor people
-famous people
-non-famous people
-your boss
-your employees
-coworkers
-students
-people who own businesses
-people who don't own businesses
-educated people
-uneducated people
-performers
-spectators
-servants
-slaves
-prostitutes
-battered women
-abused children
-the old "me"

Have fun with the exercise, and let me know some of the ideas you come up with!

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #2: Look for Things You've Never Noticed Before

2012-09-16T16:27:00.002-04:00

Similar to Exercise #1, but this time, look around in the moment and notice things that may have always been there, but you've never seen them before. As with Exercise #1, once you locate something, focus on it and think of some way to be grateful for it.

Three (3) Things I've Never Noticed Before in My Present Environment:

1. "Music" in the Environment
You can hear actual musical notes in the sounds that result from a spoon hitting the sides of a teacup. The main notes are about a half step away from each other. Interesting!

Why I'm Thankful for This:
I love music, for one. And I'm thankful for that sound reminding me of how present I used to be when I was a teenager; I remember hearing music in everything! One of my favorite "songs" in high school used to be the sound of the office copier. Thanks Spoon and Teacup, for inspiring me to achieve that level of Presence again!

2. Things "Hidden" in Plain Sight
The Windows logo on the "Start" button (bottom left-hand corner) is a billowing flag with four equal-sized blocks of color: Red (or is it orange?) and green on top, blue and yellow on the bottom.

Why I'm Thankful for This:
Thanks Windows logo, for showing me just how often I've been walking around with my eyes closed. Quite alarming. How many years has that been there right in front of my face, and I haven't noticed it?? Wake up Robyn!!! And thanks too to Windows, for all the things you do that make my life and the lives of so many other people easier. Thanks to all you Operating Systems out there. What would we do without you?

3. Something Important I've Never Looked At Before
There are two sturdy "columns" extending up from the support base of my monitor, holding up the actual screen portion.

Why I'm Thankful for This:
Thank you columns, for holding up my monitor for me!! Day in and day out, without the slightest complaint, or the slightest malfunction. And I have the nerve to never look at you or think about you?? Forgive me monitor columns. Thanks for all you do for me.

So what about you? Are there any things in your presence right now that you can honestly say you've never seen or noticed before? How about in your house? Or in your neighborhood? What color is the house next door to you? You'll probably be shocked at how many things you will find.

Here are some examples of things we often fail to notice:
-sunlight on our skin
-our breathing
-the sounds and movements people make around us
-the taste of our food
-sensations in our body
-the colors of things
-the words written on everyday items
-what the people around you like (for example, the exact brand and flavor of a friend's favorite snack)
-little details of things
-the names and addresses of the websites we visit
-the names of the online articles we read

Practicing being aware of your surroundings is an easy and great way to flex your mindfulness muscles. Don't get discouraged or anxious if it's really hard at first, and don't get overwhelmed if you find a huge amount of things that you haven't been paying attention to. Just keep at it, even for a little while everyday, and with time you will notice improvement, both in your ability to stay present, and in the quality of your life. There's something about mindfulness that makes everything in life a little better! (For example, I swear the raw orange pepper I had for breakfast this morning was THE most fragrant and tasty meal of my life!) And mindfulness coupled with gratitude, well--the sky's the limit. ;)

When you find some surprising things you haven't noticed before, share them with me, along with whatever reason you can find to feel gratitude about it! I look forward to your comments.

Mindful Gratitude Exercise #1: What Are You Mindful Of and Grateful For Right Now?

2012-09-15T16:44:00.001-04:00

Look around you and tune in to all your senses. What do you notice? How do the things you notice inspire gratitude in you?

Here are my answers:

Things I'm Mindful of Right Now

There's a constant hum coming from the area of the garage, behind me and to my left.

The sound as I strike each key on this keyboard from the 2000's...you know, the loud ones.

The teenager playing video games in the other room has fallen silent.

The white and orange and gray colors dominating the page I'm currently on.

My journal, open in front of me, beckoning me to finish my To Do List from three days ago.

The twenty or so old lottery tickets whose numbers I just checked for a friend of mine yesterday, to see if he won anything. (He won $2!)

An Eastwood Clinics business card, sitting on the desk in front of me, a little to the right, on top of my wooden coaster.

A little discomfort in my right booty bone, and a little in my left knee, due to the awkward position I'm sitting in at the moment.

The brand new bag of barbecue Baked Lays in the kitchen. It's calling my name!

The slight chill in the house, due to two open windows in Michigan in mid-September.

How I'm Grateful for These Things

Thank you God, for my ability to hear.

Thank you God, for my ability to see.

Thank you for the ability to express myself coherently.

Thank you for the things that DID get done on my To Do List.

Thank you for letting my friend win the lottery! :-)

Thank you for making it so I don't need a psychotherapist (at least not as much as I used to, thanks to gratitude and mindfulness!). And thank you for giving someone a successful career as one at the Eastwood Clinic.

Thank you for my ability to sit up, and my ability to hold positions for long periods of time. From my hospice volunteering this year and last, I know that that is definitely not something to be taken for granted.

Thank you for the bag of Baked Lays I'm about to dive into!

Thank you for my ability to feel.

Thank you for allowing me to live in a house where I'm not scared to leave windows open. I've been scared before! You can't always trust window screens, and I'm pretty terrified of spiders.

So what things are you mindful of and grateful for in your immediate environment? Tell me all about it!