Pretending is a Fun Game

Examination

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 23:51:00 +0000

I'm now the Brooklyn Vegan "Examiner". As in, I "examine" things that have to do with veganism in Brooklyn, not popular music blogs.

My first article reviews one of my favorite neighborhood restaurants

If you feel so inclined, please subscribe/add RSS feed/etc

What is the Irish didn't Become White?

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:38:00 +0000

I'm in no state to be analyzing the new M.I.A. video given how shaken I still feel after having viewed it. I am known for developing immediate convoluted theories about the greatness of art that has emotionally moved me, only to later realize: Yeah. The thing successfully manipulated me. But beyond that there's nothing/it's actually ridiculous/oh my god I ever had anything good to say about American Beauty?!? AKA one of my most hated movies EVAR?!?

Here goes anyway, cuz there's no shaking these thoughts.

So. M.I.A. released a very NSFW music video for her recently-leaked track "Born Free". It contains graphic, disturbing violence and is relentless. Funny Games relentless. So you might not want to watch it while you're home alone, right before you're neighbor notifies you that your front door is just, like, open, and your cat is no where to be found, as I just did. (My cat was eventually found, unescaped.)

So here it is:

(I'm sure this will be yanked from YouTube--which pulled the official M.I.A upload this morning--any minute, so if Content is No Longer Available just go to her website where it's streaming on the homepage)

So basically, the video really fucked me up. And I think I really like it.

First of all, it's really well done. Not just cinematic, like really good cinema. The editing and cinematography are outstanding. The tension and horror are merciless and don't let up for the duration of the clip. I respect that feat in and of itself. I respect this repurposing of the music video to do something beyond calling attention to itself, though some are already criticizing the piece for doing just that. The violence is handled well, imho. It's nausea-producing but stops short of numbing. It is jerking viewers awake and to attention and, if Twitter is any indication, spurring at least a lot to think about and discuss what they've seen. People get that this relates to things actually going on, and are discussing the hows and whys and that alone is an invaluable service.

I see "Born Free" as part of the " what if history went different?" genre, works that present a plausible alternate reality meant to illuminate obfuscated aspects of our current one, a la The C.S.A. or The Plot Against America.* Here we have red heads--exclusively red heads--rounded up by US special ops of some sort, brutalized and murdered. It's obvious commentary on US racist imperialism, war on terror, racial/ethnic profiling and detentions, etc, but beyond that the choice of targeted demographic is revealing of the nature of The (vulnerable) Other. We maybe all know that Race Is A Social Construct. Red heads are coded (potentially) Irish, a nationality with it's own "terrorist" organization. Once upon a time the Irish were a racially "other" (nonwhite) immigrant demographic in the United States. Their ascension to whiteness and its corresponding privileges was not foretold by god and a part of some inevitable march of history and progress or however its encoded within the nationalist psyche. I think its potentially usefully provocative to show the internet a different, plausible today in which things went differently, but the same underlying oppressive power dynamics are in play. I don't see this as a simple inversion ("Look! White people are the terrorists lol maskesyouthinknotreally") but an opening to conversation about the construction of race, terrorism, and State power.

I could be very wrong, but its as if M.I.A. and director Romain Gavras (yes, he is the son of Costas) saw what happened with Telephone and thought "Huh. What if we gave the internet wank-mill something new and unexpected with layers and actually important real-world implications? What if we gave music/pop-cult bloggers something to really sink their teeth into?" That if, upon obsessive over-analysis, there was really some there there, past the shock tactics and novelty of a Pop Event?

Now I really need to go make some soup.

*Tell me if the latter is a bad example. I haven't read it. My understanding is it fits this model.

Download:

FLV MP4 3GP

Download:

FLV MP4 3GP

This is how it's done

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 08:22:00 +0000

Some of my favorite minutes of film:

I had Peggy's wrong number monologue as my voicemail message for a minute. Some people who weren't as familiar with the film got confused/upset and I had to change it. Which is too bad cuz it's really the best voicemail message ever.

K4Pizza!

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 01:20:00 +0000

Surplus of matzo? Need one more k4p meal? Idea for next year? This was a raging success.

Please excuse the sucky photo. I hope it captures the gist.

How do I make (vegan!) K4Pizza?

Well. You need:

Matzos of your choice
Tomato sauce
This "goat cheese"*
additional toppings of your choice.

What you do:

Preheat oven to like 400. Prep any toppings that need prepping (like, ahem, grilled artichoke hearts). Put yr matzos on a baking sheet. Spread a thin layer of tomato sauce. Schmear on the goat cheese. Add the other toppings. Stick in the oven for like three minutes. Marvel at the taste sensation that is this fake goat cheese mixed with tomato sauce, and the shockingly appropriate texture of now delightfully foldable matzo.

You could probably do a calzoneish thing with this basis. Just sayin'.

As you can maybe see, I put awesome toppings on the K4Pizza above. If you use these toppings, you will probably be very happy and want to eat a lot. I used:

leftover grilled hearts of palm
pickled garlic
olives
kale
minced fresh garlic
chopped red onion
one potato on each piece from the tomato sauce (made my own, put potatoes in it, its a thing. A delicious thing.)

I had previously used the aforementioned grilled artichoke hearts. I would also recommend things like: mushrooms, bell peppers, spinach.

Basically you have no idea how actually wonderful this is. Easy. Pleasing. Everyone is happy.

Btw my sauce was: saute 1/2 small onion, minced, in olive oil til fragrant. Add 28 oz frozen csa heirloom tomatoes, thawed with dash of basil, dash or oregano, teeny dash of cloves, crank of the pepper mill, dash of salt. Throw in a peeled, shopped potato and a heaping tbsp of tomato sauce. Simmer, stirring occasionally til you're bored/ready to eat/whatever. Stir in a dash of sugar. Savor the tomato-permeated potatoes.

*Seriously. If you're vegan and observe Pesach dietary restrictions, you need to add this recipe to your repertoire. Delicious lifesaver.

I just blew my own mind: Kosher for Passover Vegan Spinach Pie

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 02:30:00 +0000

Inspired by this recipe for non-vegan, matzo-using spinach pie. I'd veganized it before, using tofu ricotta. Tofu doesn't cut it for Passover, though, if you're a somewhat masochistic lover of culinary challenge, at least.

Because of the almond cheese, this recipe requires a little advance planning, but is actually pretty easy and requires little active cooking time.

And it's really freakin' good.

Ingredients:
Olive Oil
1 Onion, chopped
20 oz Spinach, washed and chopped (you could use frozen probs, thaw and drain)
1/2 cup chopped dill Plus extra for garnish
2 cups cooked quinoa
2 cups almond milk
3 Tbsp potato starch, slurried in 1/4 cup of water
dash of nutmeg
1/3 cup almond meal
Double recipe of this "goat cheese", minus herb oil topping
6 matzos of your choice
salt and pepper

Make your goat cheese. Since the goat cheese requires a lot of almond soaking, chilling blended mixtures in the fridge and whatnot, you're gonna want to plan ahead and start that a couple days before you plan to make this.

So now let's say you have your goat cheese. Preheat oven to 400 and start cooking up some quinoa. While the quinoa is cooking, sautee your onion in an oiled skillet for about 10-15 minutes, til onions are translucent and golden. Your quinoa should be done by then, so take it off the heat and leave it covered.

Add spinach to onions and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and add 1 tsp of salt, 1/2 tsp of pepper, 1/2 cup dill, stirring to combine.

Now we make the genius, soyless ricotta substitute. Dump 2 cups of cooked quinoa in a food processor or blender with 2 cups of almond milk, potato starch slurry, nutmeg, almond meal, 1/2 tsp salt and a dash of pepper. Blend til smooth-ish. Reserve 2 cups in a bowl, pour rest into spinach/onion mixture, along with 3/4 of the "goat cheese". Mix it all up.

Put your matzos in a dish and pour remaining quinoa mixture over them. Spread it around on them, try to saturate each piece. Let them sit for 10 minutes or more, if you can.

Generously oil 13" x9" baking dish and lay two matzos, side by side, on bottom. Spread half of spinach filling on top. Add two more pieces of matzo, rest of filling on top of them, and then the final two matzos on top of that. If there's any quinoa filling left in the dish the matzos soaked in, spread that on top. Then crumble the rest of the goat cheese on top.

Bake uncovered 30-35 minutes. Let sit 10 minutes out of oven, sprinkle chopped dill on top, slice and SERVE.

Vegan Passover Update

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 19:48:00 +0000

Just need to document some of my observations and lessons learned this Passover.

1. Special Accidentally Vegan K4P finds:

-Glick's Hot n Spicy BBQ Chips are AWESOME.
-Holiday Candies Dark Chocolate Coconut Bon-Bons are also awesome.
-Osem Chicken Consomme Soup is good if you like salty, salty broth and, despite name, vegan.

2. Matzo Brie!

I'll try to put together a real recipe for this, but I have found that combining abt 4 parts broth with 1 part almond meal and a li'l potato starch will give you a great Passover-friendly egg substitute for this classic, must-missed dish. Prep otherwise as you'd prep normal matzo brie--soak the matzo, heat up a pan, dump it all in, mix it around, fry it up. Salt and pepper.

You could probably use k4p almond milk or other nut milk instead of broth for a slightly creamier effect.

3. A Matzo Sandwich

with this quinoa tabouli, horseradish, artichoke garlic cream (I got some at Fairway but plan to make my own--it's just artichokes, olive oil, garlic and sea salt, whipped into creamy, amazing deliciousness,) on Streit's Moonstrips (aka the best matzo EVER) is really effing good.

4. K4Pizza!

Tomato sauce, this* almond cheese (made mine sans herbed oil topping,) toppings of choice (I used black olives, red onion, and grilled artichoke hearts) on a piece of matzo. Stick it in a hot oven (450?) for a couple minutes. Surprisingly delightful and not sad and pathetic in its unleavened crustiness, at all.

5. My Grandmother's Tzimmes

I don't know if I'm allowed to share the recipe, but if you cut up sweet potatoes and carrots and bake them with some OJ, Agave, and salt, it's probably going to be really good.

More to plan, more to come.

*that almond cheese is a general Pesach godsend, great just on matzo, in general. My other standby Pesach spread is mock chopped liver--sautee aprox. equal parts onion and mushrooms, food process that with equal part walnuts, salt and pepper to taste, chill. Delish!

Things

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 05:39:00 +0000

Small update for 2010

Chick Lit/Chick Flicks
Over the past week or so I watched Julie and Julia on DVD and read Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner. I had long intended to see J & J, but never intended to read Certain Girls. I got it off a free shelf, it was an impulse-take. For months it's been the insomnia book on my nightstand. I've been sleeping fairly well, so, until my awesome stomach virus last weekend, I hadn't made it past page 50. It's a 400 page book. Both Julie and Julia and Certain Girls feature scenes in which a protagonist is upset by a cobb salad lunch with other women. Both scenes depict and/or discuss the ritualistic ordering of cobb salad minus as many ingredients as possible. This is actually a near-universal female malady, I'm pleased to been relieved of my ignorance.

Rihanna's Rated R
This is a great album. It only has two real throwaways, "G4L" and "Te Amo", the latter of which is a real problem. I guess this is a post-Katy Perry thing? It's a really cheesy "Latin" themed sexysong about how Rihanna will dance with a lesbian because everyone needs love, but she should watch where she puts her hands because "I'm not afraid to feel the love/ but I don't feel that way ". Rihanna sings the thing like she's two seconds away from throwing the poor dear a pity fuck (and she's like it.) It would almost be awesome but it just feels too contrived (by someone who isn't even Rihanna) and offensive. Maybe it'll work as camp in a minute. For now I usually skip it.

Otherwise the album is great. I like "Photographs", the song with Will.i.am. The part when her comes on is actually exciting. He's good at what he does. I can't listen to the Black Eyed Peas for the life of me, much as I like pop music, but he's a talented guy. I saw him freestyle at a Talib Kweli show some years ago and he was fucking awesome. He's a great rapper, and a smart songwriter, even if I don't like most of what he does. It works here.

"Cold Case Love", the track Justin Timberlake co-wrote, is delightfully grand, with welcome strings. "Russian Roulette" sounds better in the context of the album than as a confusing first singe, it's really grown on me. It's still scary, but it's also gorgeous and fits into the album's emotional arc. It's also followed by the punky-guitar infused "Fire Bomb", a rousing song worthy of Kelly Clarkson. My favorite moment right now, though, is "Hard" featuring Jeezy, who sounds energized and is in fine fun form. My favorite part of his spot is the awful/awesome "Cardiac arrest?/Cardiac a-wrist!" following a discussion of his really expensive watch. It's so expensive that it will give you a heart attack. Rihanna sounds fabulous, even when asking "where them bloggers at?"

Seriously though, if you like pop music, buy this album. It's weird and ambitious and fun and solid.

If you are a nerd and like hip hop
You might like Rap Genius. Copiously footnoted hip hop lyrics. My bf writes for it now. And he'll probably do some of the Rihanna album soon, at least that song with Jeezy.

Funny Tom Waits thing
I read this last Sunday, when I no longer had a fever, could eat toast, and was no longer vomiting, but could not stand up for very long at a stretch and kept falling asleep instead of making an ice cream cake. I put on Glitter and Doom for caking music, and ended up googling "Tom Waits Voice Evolution" instead. I have a long standing disagreement with someone who shall remain nameless re: Tom Waits voice. This person doesn't like most of Wait's work because they really like his voice on the early stuff and find his latter day vocal stylings obnoxiously contrived. I actually kind of respect that, even as I clearly disagree. Anyway, I found, like, nothing, except this, which in my state seemed hilarious. Tom Waits fandom wank. Someone suggests that maaaybe cigarettes and bourbon weren't the only culprits, others go apeshit. Also one reader had another theory:

My theory is that he was really straining to sing like that on his first albums. Then he realized he didn't need to.

That's beautiful. Hold on to your dreams, sweetie! Hold them tight!

Oscar Season is in almost-swing!

Only a month til the noms are announced! Now that I'm not vomiting I plan to get right on seeing as many likely noms as possible! I'm going to start with the White Ribbon though (srs best foreign film contender!) because I've been chomping at the bit for that anyway. I should make Michael Hanake film criticism bingo cards. Dismissive accusation that Haneke wants to "shock/stick it to the bourgeoisie". Accusation of sadism. "Cold", "pretentious", accusation that the film is somehow unfair. I have more.

The Golden Globes are on next Sunday. Amanda Palmer will be there, walking the red carpet with Neil Gaiman. How weird is that? How jealous am I?

What else? I think I'm gonna go watch some season one Gossip Girl. My bf is taking it on faith that Chuck becomes more of a likable prick when he's not trying to rape people anymore.

I will blog again some day!

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:07:00 +0000

But right now I'm kinda busy editing videos that will be shown at this:

Come one, come all!

Polanski

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 23:25:00 +0000

Everyone's already weighed in on this, but I'm trying to write other shit and just keep getting distracted by new and disgusting and ridiculous Polanski defense arguments. Why did the Swiss wait so long to act? Must be a conspiracy of one vague sort or another! Film fests are special "extraterritorial" safe spaces for criminals in the film industry! Plus--guys? Hello, he's a...Holocaust Survivor! Who can blame him for seeking freedom! Did you ever even think about that?!

I don't think prisons have anything to do with justice. I'm not invested in having Polanski serve time, beyond my divergent feelings of anger and fear; anger at the exceptionalism practiced by Polanski and his supporters, leading me to spitefully wish for his incarceration, and fear that if he is incarcerated the romantic star of his outlaw artistry will only rise, and I don't want a child rapist martyr. So, whether he ever goes to prison? I don't care much.

I do care that he did something terrible and violent and violating to a child, and that this hideous act is misleadingly reduced to a "morals charge" in the language of his supporters. It's as if men who drug and rape girls just "slip up", get a little too wild, nudge nudge wink wink. Hey, it was the 70s! Everyone was drugging and raping girl children then, you can't judge historical figures by today's morality!

He plead guilty to a reduced charge, he got a harsher sentence than he was expecting, and rather than appealing he fled the country.

Fuck that guy.

If Polanski and his lawyers want to challenge his conviction, fine--we do that in court. If Polanski's many impressive friends and admirers wish to testify on his behalf or submit letters of character--great, fine, but we do that in court, too. Fucked as the legal system here in the US may be, I see no reason why Roman Polanski specifically deserves some kind of amnesty. There is no evidence that Polanski was set up or that his trial was rigged--there are allegations that the judge acted inappropriately, but he was also then removed from the case. There's no reason to believe that Polanski will be treated unfairly in court. He's not a political fugitive. He has not been persecuted or unfairly targeted. He was not found guilty of a crime that anyone can reasonably argue is victimless, he did not break an unjust law.

Polanski's arrest was not illegal or extraordinary. It sets no "dangerous" precedent for artists or anyone else.

The support Polanski has enjoyed in the name of cinema does set a horrifying precedent, however. It sends an awful message: making a crappy Holocaust movie outweighs raping a child. Especially if the child in question is a girl--if he'd raped a boy, he might be some kind of freak. This is how patriarchy is generated, right here, before our eyes, and I'm appalled by the cultural message this sends, what it inscribes on our collective unconscious. The Greatness of Great Man Artists is Greater than the human rights of girl, so much so that it is treated as reasonable to demand that Great Male Artists be held above such unpleasantries as the most basic accountability.

Haven't we all discussed navigation of the the good artist/bad person quandry a kajillion times? One can respect Polanski's art--even support it, if they choose--without actively diminishing the terrible things he's done, without asking the judiciary to forgive him. Polanski will have to show up to ask for forgiveness, leniency in sentencing, or whatever else he wants, and he has every right to do so. It is disgusting and scary that so many artist, many of whom I respect, would argue that Polanski should not have to contend with the judiciary at all, with absolutely no legal argument to back it up. It doesn't matter (but is disputable!) that he's a "great artist". It doesn't matter that he committed the crime a long time ago (and let us recall he has broken the law by evading justice as recently as his arrest a few days ago.) It doesn't matter that the woman he raped has forgiven him--her civil suit is settled, this is the State of California vs Polanski. It doesn't matter that he'd traveled to Switzerland without incident in the past, or that (just like Kanye!) police upstaged his special awards moment. It doesn't matter that he may not be a threat to children today. None of this is relevant to the legal validity of his arrest and extradition.

ETA: I might feel a little better if I could find any well-know artists criticizing Polanski and his defenders besides Jewel. If you come across any, let me know!

I wanna talk about Kanye/Beyonce/Swift for a minute

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:28:00 +0000

In the age over over-coached celebrity, where stars are styled and handled to the point of polite blandness, Kanye West's penchant for occasionally actually speaking his mind in public is refreshing. The uproar that has met Kanye's short disruption of Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the MTV VMAs would be mind boggling if we, as a culture, had our priorities remotely straight. If only the internet was this offended by, say, Obama's ongoing torture cover-up. Of course, I'd imagine that's received significantly less press.

Let's look at what happened and why people are upset: Young swift beats out Beyonce for best female video. She comes to up accept her award, and Kanye jumps on stage for a few seconds, grabs the mic and says "I'm really happy for you, I'm gonna let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time! Of all time!" before leaving the stage. He was eventually ejected from the premises. Videos of the actual broadcast getting taken down all the time, but this stupid news brief contains Kanye's entire outburst at 40 seconds in.

Was Kanye rude? Yes. As someone who has a strange and obsessive attraction to award shows (they make me cry) and has fantasized about winning an Oscar since I was in short pants, I might be furious if I got my Big Moment and had it disrupted by someone else's urgent opinion that another person should have won instead. So in a sense I feel bad for Taylor Swift, and think Kanye was in the wrong. Then again, Taylor Swift may be young, but she's been in the industry for years. This isn't her first or most prestigious award, and it won't be her last. Kanye didn't say anything mean to or about her. How enormous is her personal tragedy here, really? Especially considering that she now is America's Sweetheart and probably got a sympathy boost in album sales, in addition to acres of fawning publicity. I'm sure she's just fine.

Kanye, on the other hand, is being raked over the coals. The internet isn't always the best judge of public opinion, but I'm coming across more hatred of him than I did of, oh, let's say Chris Brown after he battered Rhianna. I can't help but notice that Kanye is being crucified for disrespecting a young blond white woman (while kinda-defending a black woman, no less,) and that Beyonce, who ended up winning video of the year, was ultimately the one overshadowed. Her positive publicity came from bending over backwards to share her spotlight with poor widdle Swift. Meanwhile, Li'l Mama, who jumped on stage and mugged at the end of Jay-Z's steller (if uncharacteristically raspy) performance of "Empire State of Mind" (a more egregious offense, in my rulebook,) has become a joke, not an egotistical villain.

Obviously the two disruptions are not directly analagous, but I'd wager that the racism that is coming out explicitly in some of The Public's anger at Kanye plays a role in the wide divergence in general reaction. Jay-Z is a black man, he can take care of himself in the face of a young black female who raps about lipgloss, nevermind that she was able to steal the spotlight and disrupt the vibe as effectively as Kanye was. Which is all that really happened here, in terms of offense. Meanwhile, Kanye's Scary Black Man is of course some kind of a threat to Taylor Swift's pristine white womanhood. Harry Allen's Media Assassin has a bit on this, as well as screencaps of some among the the mountain of racist tweets that immediately clogged the tubes of Twitter post-outburst. At this point it is the ugliness of the angry reaction that is of interest to me. Of course a swarm of assholes of Twitter don't represent everyone who thought Kanye was tacky (he was tacky,) but racism is a lot like roaches--for every white person who angrily drops the N-word in public, there are thousands more that remain hidden. Post-racial America my ass.

Among those who are not so slur-happy, why exactly are people so mad? Are you Taylor Swift's mom? Then why do you care? I guess I understand if you're a big fan, but more than a day after the big event I'm still seeing a lot of people who I'm sure don't (or didn't, perhaps) give a fuck about Swift or her music covering Facebook with their disgust at Kanye's "inappropriate" behavior. I can't relate to that. From where does this deep disgust spring? As my partner responded to a friend of his who was offended by his status message ("is glad Kanye did it") "I don't want pop stars to be 'appropriate." So what's left to be mad about, to feel invested in?*

Honestly, my worry is that Kanye and his near-empty bottle of Hennessey aren't doing too well. This was a poor career move, and one he seems to sincerely regret. That concerns me. He's a great talent and I'd hate to see him go into a self-destructive spiral of one kind or another.

Let's also not forget that, ill-advised as his sharing may have been, Kanye was right, Beyonce's video is amazing. She absolutely deserved to win.

*::cough::white supremacy, cult of true womanhood::cough::

Jay-Z at Madison Square 9/11/9

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 03:57:00 +0000

Last night I saw Jay-Z at Madison Square Garden, which probably qualifies yesterday as my best 9/11 ever.

I normally shy away from 9/11 events, unless they're you know, protests. Or taking place at the Brecht forum. This seemed like it would be more about New York, less about patriotism, and that's fine sounded good to me (plus: it was Jay-Z. At MSG. A sight I've never, in person, seen.) I get weepy on 9/11. I like to be around other people who were in New York in 2001, and may not want to talk about it with people who weren't here. Like, that's great that you were totally weirded out over in Portland. That must have been quite an experience for you. At the show: I could have done without the pledge of alligence at the beginning or the US flag on the (John Mayer designed!) commemorative T-Shirts. I would have bought on of those shirts had it been flag-less. I would have liked less talk about strength and more talk about love, which is probably the hippiest thing I've said in awhile. I would have liked something to have been said against the wars.

But let's be serious. The show was fucking awesome.

Jay opened with my favorite song off The Blueprint 3, "Empire State of Mind". I cannot express how much I love that song right now. He stood in front of enormous cut outs of the NYC skyline, onto which to-scale video of the actual skyline was projected. The words don't capture anything, It looked amazing. It looked like the actual fucking three dimensional skyline was behind him. I got all weepy. He performed the hell outta it; I'd never seen Jay-Z libe before and he is phenomenal. He held the Garden in the palm of his hand through almost two effortless-seeming hours of classic material. I'm including the new stuff, it already sounds classic (okay, I'm excluding "Give Me What You Got", which I've never liked.)

Here is a (partial?) list of unannounced guest appearances:

Kanye, Rhianna, Beyonce, Santigold(!!!), John Mayer (can't all be winners), Kid Cudi, Swizz Beats, Pharrell, Mary J. Blige, Diddy.

MNBFBW leaned over and said "Honestly, at this point I wouldn't blink if Obama came out."

Jay-Z effectively psyched out the audience on Kanye's appearance by performing his own verse from the "Diamonds are Forever" remix sans West early in set. Ah, I thought, too bad, that's fine. A few songs later Jay launched into "Run This Town", joined by a radiant Rhianna. Sure enough, when time came for Kanye's verse, out he came. Afterwards he performed "The Good Life" and the still awesome "Can't Tell Me Nothing".

A word on Rhianna: I saw her open for Kanye at MSG during the Glow in the Dark tour. Chris Brown came out on stage with her which was kinda exciting to me because other people seemed excited but: eh. Rhianna was amazing, love love loved her set. Loved her album. Love her part on "Run This Town"--it gets me choked up. I moves me to hear her sound so strong and defiant, surrounded by perhaps the two biggest names in hip hop as her supportive comrades-in-arms, just a few months after photos of her after being battered by Brown became the toast of the internet. Last night I teared up to see her again take the stage at the Garden, without the fucker, looking so fierce and sounding so good. It's also nice to hear her sing without the autotune.

I'm thrilled I was there. One of the best shows I've ever been to, hands down. I hope they release a DVD. Amazing, amazing set.

Thoughts on Eminem's Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon Dis track

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:01:00 +0000

It's called "The Warning" and you can get it here.

Eminem sounds engaged and energetic, which is nice, but the song is so...stupid. And (shocker) misogynistic and lazily homophobic (why even toss that throwaway "faggot" at Nick?) After the pile of dreck that was Relapse, my tolerance for Eminem's default sexism is really low. Why I found the misogyny on Relapse less defensible than that on earlier records is a post for another day, but suffice to say I thought the album almost completely sucked and one part of why it sucked so bad was the boring,bored-sounding, repetitive, and pandering sexism, so I'm not in a forgiving mood when faced with the patriarchal cliches that comprise "The Warning". Oh, Mariah's Obsessed video could be about you, boo fucking hoo, you're the one who stretched the currency of that relationship well past viability with that irritating, confusing (in a bad hangover kind of way) "Bagpipes" bullshit. It's been almost a decade, get over it. As my bf points out--go after rappers. Why are you going after singers? What's she gonna do, sing at you? It's no fun if there aren't dis tracks going back and forth. This beef looks like its more ready made for Perez Hilton than eagerly awaited mix tapes. but I digress.

Em comes off like a bratty little boy having a tantrum, but not at all cute. He's firing a warning, supposedly he has all this shit on Mariah that he'll let fly if she doesn't...what exactly? Stop making videos? The track itself is vicious yet largely devoid of content. Mostly he slams his ex in classically illogical patriarchal style for being (all together now) both a prude and a slut. Which is it, Em? Oh, you don't have to choose cuz this shit has nothing to do with reality, it just has to do with slamming women for being women. It's not even like Ally Sheedy said in The Breakfast Club [paraphrasing] "If you do, you're a slut, if you don't, you're a prude: it's a trap." It is a trap, but the rules aren't that clear. A woman can be a slut and a prude at the same time because some dude (or asshole of any gender) said she was, for reasons that have to do with the slurrer's anxiety rather than the actual behavior of the woman.

Apparently discussing a woman's sexual experience is inherently damning, even if there's nothing that really reflects badly on her in the discussion. Em claims that he once got a little over-excited and prematurely ejaculated on Mariah's stomach, grossing her out. Yeah, I didn't need to know that either, but "If I'm embarrassing me/I'm embarrassing you" Em claims after sharing. Really? Is that how it works, now?

Em spends the rest of the track flashing his late pass on Mariah's alleged alcoholism, superfluously reminding listeners that back in the earlier aughts she had a public meltdown, threatening to publicize some "pictures" (yawn), and finally, using some very un-scandalous clips from old voicemail messages that are way past their expiration date.

Earlier today Jay Smooth tweeted that, in his opinion, the track was a self-Ethering. I think that assessment is apt on a number of levels, and hope it's widely shared.

Michael & Me (scapegoat yr idols)

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 13:07:00 +0000

The day after Michael Jackson died I found myself waiting for hours and hours in the Secaucus NJ train station. There were mishaps going into the Catskills to see my grandparents. Amongst the time-killing activities of buying corn nuts, searching for soy milk and searching for Wifi, I read a piece in New York magazine about the Chew-Holdens; some hippie family in Prospect Heights who bought a brownstone and grows gardens and shops at the co-op and all sleep in the same bed. “Co-sleeping”, it’s called? I’d heard about parents and babies “co-sleeping” together, and I’ve obviously heard of various different family members sharing beds because of space and/or financial constrictions. I’d never heard of a park Slope co-op family choosing to push a twin against a king size mattress to make one enormous bed for the parents and two (six and ten year old) girls to “co-sleep” in together because it’s, like, wholesome and qualite´*. “If [husband] and I ever need privacy,” the mother explained “there are plenty of other places in the house.”

To be blunt (and probably bigoted) I have a lot of problems with this idea of “co-sleeping” with children that old, at least when it's Park Slope hippies deciding to do it. It sounds like a nightmare of horrible boundaries and lack of privacy to me, for everyone involved. Are the parents freaks who want to make sure their kids don’t masturbate or something? Seriously. Do they really like having their kids in bed with them every night? Despite the fact that there are like one million rooms in the brownstone that could easily be different bedrooms? Why? Is their sex life that uncompelling?

I don’t think the Chew-Holdens are going to be tarred and feathered, and I don’t think they should be. I don’t think they should be investigated for possible child abuse based on their choice of sleeping arrangement, however much it grosses me out. But one big happy “family bed” when there are so many other options so readily available does raise a red flag, automatically. The possibility of sexual abuse does flash in my mind.

Over the weekend I watched a lot of coverage on Michael Jackson’s death, on both the news and music networks.

My sister and partner and I talked about how important Michael was and is, at least to anyone who cares about music, pop culture, or racial politics. His role in popular music can not be overstated. He was at the absolute top of his field in so many areas— a great, great singer, dancer, writer, music video visionary…we couldn’t think of anyone who was that amazing in that many different fields. Watching the video network specials really reminded me of how fucking good so much of his work was. I remembered how I felt when I was five and got Thriller. How much I loved--with my heartLOVED --that music, how I stared at the photo of him in the gatefold with the tiger cub and fell in love, how beautiful he was. How the hooks dug in and wouldn’t let go. How Billie Jean used to always give me chills. My 80s trinity was Michael, Cyndi, Madonna, but Michael was the first. First vinyl I ever owned. I remember when my dad brought it home for me and my older sister, and my mom put contact paper on a big piece of cardboard for us to “breakdance” on while we listened to it.

I stopped following Michael Jackson news after awhile. I didn’t buy any of his music post-Bad, though I enjoyed a lot of his videos and singles. I loved the “Scream” video. When it came out in the mid-90s I knew someday it would look dated, but couldn’t imagine it, it seemed so NEW. I have to admit, I still kind of like Michael and Janets’ wardrobes. Shiny vinyl pants with those black shirts with the…ridges? All over? I still kinda think that’s a hot look.

I was an alternateen then, so Michael was no longer a staple. I avoided most media coverage in those later years, which all seemed to come from the “what a freak” angle. I didn’t want to read that. I didn’t want to hear lurid speculation or offensive jokes or revel in diagnosing the man. I didn’t care that he dangled his baby out the window. Yeah, bad move, but why the obsessing? Based on the infamous Living with Michael Jackson interviews that I saw for the first time on MSNBC this weekend, it seems like he was in a bad way in those days. It was very sad. He seemed in ill health, and was not handling whatever Valley of the Dolls uppers/downers combination he was on very well; though for all I know, he wasn’t on any drugs and was having some other kind of issue that was making him act doped up then manic and twitchy and shaking. It’s possible, the fuck do I know other than that he really did not seem okay, and it made me really sad to see.

The thing that makes me saddest about Michel Jackson’s death is, at the risk of sounding ridiculous, that he never seemed to find any peace, he never seemed to have healed.

I saw Deepak Chopra on Larry King, talking about his friendship with Michael. He said that once upon a time Michael called him up, wanting to learn how to meditate. Deepak went to Neverland one weekend and they became friends. Eventually, Micahael asked him for a prescription for Oxycontin (if you’re like me and didn’t know, that’s Dr. Deepak Md to you,) which Chopra refused. He didn’t give much detail, but said Michael was abusing prescription pills, which he got through crappy Hollywood doctors who get their kicks (and ka$h) enabling celebrities with drug problems. He rightly pointed out that more people are dangerously addicted to prescription drugs than illegal drugs (and yet—no drug war on the pharmaceutical companies!)

Anyway. Deepak Chopra also said his kids spent time with Jackson, had traveled with him, and that he felt completely comfortable leaving his kids with Jackson unsupervised.

I’m told that one of the big scandalous revelations in this interview was that MJ admitted to having sleepovers with kids, including sometimes sleeping in the same bed with them. He didn’t apologize for it, and lashed out at those who found such behavior problematic, for turning something loving and innocent into horror.

Now. People talk about juggling your appreciation for Jackson’s music with your reservations about his personal life. I don’t give a fuck how “weird” he is. When I was young and watched the Muppets, I most identified with Gonzo--the “weirdo”. I think I identified a bit with the MJ under tabloid attack--why are we supposed to condemn him, exactly, even if he did sleep in an oxygen chamber and try to buy the elephant man’s bones? Fuck, if I were Michael Jackson I’d probably want the Elephant Man’s bones too, if they’re not buried, if they’re being gawked at in some exhibit somewhere. The plastic surgery makes me sad, makes me angry at white supremacy, but it doesn’t make me hate him--who the fuck am I, as some white girl, to hate on or ridicule him for that?

The only thing that really makes me uncomfortable being a fan is the possibility that he molested kids. That’s fucking horrible. I’m not going to defend the behavior of a fucking child molester.

Some people seem to accept that Michael Jackson was a child molester. Why?

I can empathize with the visceral horror one feels when it seems like sexual abuse of any kind is being swept under the rug, that victims are slandered while perpetrators walk away. I understand if someone can’t deal with Michael Jackson because of the abuse allegations. But most mentions of it seem to lump it together with his plastic surgery, just another freaky scandal, another handful of mud to throw.

My basic, political, position is that I believe people when they say they have been abused. If a kid says they were molested, they were molested. But. Shit happens. There are situations where parents decide a kid was molested for purposes of getting money, and/or some other whacked-out reason. Maybe Michael Jackson was a child molester, but at least as plausible to me is that some greedy or disgruntled parents decided to call Michael Jackson a child molester. I didn’t follow either molestation scandal much, I found them upsetting. Based on my limited knowledge of both cases, after reading up a little now to try to better understand, I don’t really have any reason to believe that he’s guilty, and tell me if you’re more educated than I am and feel differently.

The sleepover admission was apparently near-tantamount to an admission of criminal guilt in the public imagination. I don’t think Michael’s sleepovers make him any more guilty of child abuse than the co-sleeping habits of the Chew-Holdens do. I see both as potentially problematic, but neither as necessarily sexual. Yet “he got away with it” is an accepted sentiment in many circles.

Why is Michael Jackson a pervert and the Chew-Holdens qualite? Well, the Chew-Holdens are wholesome white liberals in park slope. Amongst their peers, they are probably admired or jealously scorned out of insecurity, hated with the kind of misplaced anxious energy that often manifests in peer-pressured CSA memberships where the vegetables never get eaten and the parents feel resentful of their produce burden. If fellow liberals took issue with the co-sleeping, it’d likely be out of a fear of their own inferior, less dedicated parenting.

Michael Jackson wasn’t a qualite white liberal, he was a Black man whose presentation stirred race and gender panic. His ambiguity triggered anger, bigotry, hatred. The way he talked, moved, transformed physically, pushed buttons and freaked people out, especially, if the post-death fallout is any indication, white men who felt threatened. He couldn’t be easily boxed into race/gender/sexuality categories except for the all-encompassing "freak”, within which all is possible except recognition of humanity.

The racism in the “he got away with it!” vitriol is hard to deny. There’s a special place in pop cultural hell for black men accused of harming whites. An obvious point of comparison to Michael’s not guilty verdict is OJ Simpson’s--white America is still not over that miscarriage of justice despite the many many more wrongful convictions and acquittals that have piled up (and could be organized around) since. If we want to stick with The Fame, before the recent turn-about Phil Spector had a long time as a legally not-guilty man after murdering his wife. I don’t recall the same critical mass of (white) outrage.

There’s another reason the Chew-Holdens are role models and Michael’s sick. My partner said, “Well, I guess if it’s an adult that’s not in the family, people find it more suspect”. But WHY? A child is far more likely to be sexually abused by someone in their family than by Michael freakin’ Jackson. Isn’t that the unfortunate, less politician-friendly reality of child sexual abuse? Kids are usually abused by those closest to them, and often the abusers are respectable members of the community. Scandals involving such are meant to reaffirm the status quo misconception of sexual abuse—OMG, this respectable businessman raped his daughter! That’s a story because it’s seen as an exception. Our culture displaces this epidemic, which cuts across demographic lines and effects a horrifying number of people, onto pervs and trash and freaks. MJ was a freak par excellence.

The sleepovers are the smoking gun? It’s Michael Jackson, for god’s sake, who everyone knows had a traumatizing non-childhood and thus was obsessed with an idealized version of the state, with saving the children from what he needed saving from. He wanted physical affection rather than abuse, he wanted to feel loved and cared for, so he recreated this such relationships in his adult life. Many of us work through these dynamics in our romantic relationships, he didn’t seem to have that option. It’s unusual and eccentric, and, beyond that, it absolutely raises red flags. But: I can conceive of such strangeness without molestation. His sleepovers don’t make him guilty. And there’s something wrong with a media that congratulates the Chew-Holdens for being closeknit, loving, and GREEN, while blasting MJ as a sick freak. Especially as the Chew-Holdens all sleep together every night, not as some special occasional fun thing. The thought of sleeping in the same bed with my parents every night at age ten causes me to hyperventilate with privacy deprivation, instant panic attack!

Jackson is a scapegoat that allows us to ignore and misrepresent the reality of sexual abuse. It usually doesn’t involve satanic rituals or complicated “games” involving whole pre-schools of kids and adult accomplices, or fanciful sleepovers with the king of pop. The reality of most child sexual abuse is much more banal and quiet and private and devastating. I haven’t seen the MJ scandals raise public interest is stopping child abuse, developing resources for victims, figuring out how to viably treat perpetrators, changing our culture to build respect for children and listen to them...no, as is so tragically often the case in instances where child sexual abuse becomes part of a media spectacle, actually helping abused kids and preventing future abuse has nothing to do with the story. That story would be hegemony-threatening rather than reifying. It wouldn’t be a good old times Coney Island freakshow.

The fact that Michael was one of the artistic geniuses of my lifetime and one of the most commercially successful, and still got treated so disrespectfully saddens me greatly. The fact that anyone is complaining about all the coverage his death is getting angers me. Ok, yeah, I’m disgusted that the news networks were all MJ all the time all weekend, even as no new information came in, even as there was a whole rest of the world where things were happening that should be news, but this kind of news media spectacle isn’t new or unique. I’m a bit less offended by the constant coverage of the sudden-seeming and untimely death of one of the biggest public figures of our time than I am when it’s “breaking update: young white lady still missing”. He certainly earned the non-stop coverage on music or entertainment-oriented channels, and should have been a top story elsewhere as well. I don’t remember much outrage when the media obsessively re-chronicled all the details of Princess Diana’s death. She wasn’t even our Princess, whereas Michael was certainly our King.

Let’s remember why:

*Qualite (adj.)
Definition:
Of or pertaining to wholesome goodness with marked bourgeois connotations, inherently alienating to me, often w/ marked liberal connotations.

e.g.: Terra Blues, off-white, activists who are always happy, yoga pants, anything that could be described as tastefully messy, The Park Slope Food Co-Op, anyone in good standing at the Park Slope Food Co-Op, Angelica Kitchen, NOW, being anti-makeup, being anti-porn [i just realized this would make an incredible category in $25,000 pyramid!], muted colors, obsessive cleanliness, no worse yet - people who just smell like shampoo ALL THE TIME, people who academically/anthropologically "take an interest in" social movements though have no interest in taking part in them, etc. (from here.)

How I spent my weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:26:00 +0000

I went to shows and shot stuff.

Saturday: Here are The Shondes performing their new song "Miami" for the first time ever at the Exit 44 Festival at Wonderland in Astoria where there were delicious veggie dogs. Other venues: take note. Having good, reasonably priced (vegan-friendly) food makes me want to patronize your establishment.

This is one of my favorite of the batch of songs likely to end up on the next album.

Sunday: The Martin Bisi-curated evening at Spike Hill during the Northside Fest. Here are some choice clips from Alina Simone's steller set.

The as-yet unreleased "Beautiful Machine":

The also as-yet unreleased (and fucking gorgeous) "My Love is a Mountain":

...and here's a Yanka Dyagileva cover, "For a Rainy Day":

After Alina Simone, Martin Bisi himself played a set with his band. Here is the song "Rise Up Cowboy" from his brand new Son of a Gun EP out now on Contraphonic.:

Tori Spelling

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 03:21:00 +0000

My love affair with Tori Spelling may be over. Oh, I’ll still read her next tell-all and look forward to her guest spots on 90210, but my days of defending her may be behind me.

As some of you know, I have a soft spot for maligned celebrities, especially women, especially if they are trashed for being slutty and dumb. Tori was, plus people said mean things about the way she looked and undervalued her contribution to 90210. Plus she’s Tori Spelling, showbiz cheese royalty, unable to escape her crown. Yet she seems nice. Funny. Very pro-gay a little ahead of the curve. My Jackie Susann gene loves her.

I read sToriTelling and LOVED IT. Lover HER. The book was fun and funny and juicy. It revealed a likable, neurotic actress. She had perspective on her privilege, and enough ugly family drama to be relatable.

Due to incredible happenstance I had the opportunity to attend the Mommywood release party here in New York. It was the cheesiest fucking thing I’ve been to since my cousin’s Bat Mitzvah. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was at a depressing aughts Am Psycho bar with weak free drinks and mostly awful seeming people making wholly unimpressive yet pretentious small talk. The whole thing was being filmed for Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. We waited and waited and Tori arrived. She looked thin and scary IRL, her airbrushed makeup highlighting her skeletal cheekbones to goulish effect. I wish to god celebrity women weren’t so fucking scary skinny. She posed for a million years by the cover blow up in the front (the very one my connect later REFUSED to photograph me next to! Embarrassing, she said. W/E, we’re at Tori Spelling’s fucking book release party!) She was flanked by cameramen. She and Dean were slowly escorted through the crowd, with which they did not mingle, to a private back room we could look into but not enter, where she was greeted by Michael Musto and Christian Seriano and Christian Seriano’s bf who looks exactly like him but bigger. That was it for star power. I felt insulted. I didn’t even get a chance to try to work up the nerve to go meet Tori! To tell her that I respected her, that as a hip, young writer I would love the opportunity to properly profile her! We watched her do a phony meet and greet, some fans next to us yelled “We love Liam and Stella!” and Dean (not even Tori!) awkwardly acknowledged their affection. The book industry people seemed bitter or resigned to their degradation. The whole thing was amusing, yet depressing.

Then I read Mommywood. Or, rather, then I listened to the audiobook version.

While I felt sympathetic to Tori’s issues with her mother the first time around, hearing all the same evil anecdotes bitched about a second time made Tori seem a little less righteous and a little more vindictive. I hadn’t cared that she communicated with her mom via tabloids and tell-alls, family can be hard. But by the time I got to the end, where she actually spells out parts of her will and speculates as to how her mother will contest them, I felt abused as a listener. I’m not on your payroll! Don’t make your readership into a key witness in your imaginary future legal battle! Plus: tacky. Almost fabulously tacky (my love may return...) but slightly too vindictive. For the first time, I actually was curious as to what Candy Spelling had to say.

Then there’s the fact that 70% of the book is all swill about how “I’m just like every other mom except I had a full time live in nanny during my and my husbands joint 2 months off after the kid was born and now I’m talking about how easy babies are.” Then there are the parts that made me want to exclaim “that’s terrible parenting!” an unattractive sentiment I rarely express, rarely feel. But when TORI SPELLING with her resources and full time nannies can’t fold her own stroller or teaches her son to grope her while yelling “boobies!” as her husband looks on proudly, or feeds her infant candy and giggles about how none of us are perfect...I just don’t think it’s cute. Her disclaimers about her privilege sounded a lot more half-hearted and tacked on. And she gave awful advice about how to lose baby weight not through exercise but by just not eating anything. At least she’s semi-honest.

I suppose celebrity crushes are doomed to fail. Why don’t I learn my lesson? It’s class war 101, right? But while I come out of the long, proud history of Jewish commies, I also come out of the long, proud history of Jewish entertainers. Or at least wannabe entertainers. It’s in my blood, it runs in the family. My grandmother chose Marlene as her middle name, for christ’s sake. Couldn’t escape my attraction to the glittery if I tried.

Some thought on Pratt Daddy

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Sun, 31 May 2009 21:59:00 +0000

Critiquing the politics displayed in a Spencer Pratt interview is shooting fish in a barrel. Yet I find myself obsessed with this piece posted to XXL earlier today. I have many questions, foremost among them: Is Spencer Pratt in on his joke (a la Paris’ exaggerated stupidity on The Simple Life? Does he think this will make a profitable plot twist for his character, is he intentionally playing on the fact that people hating on his tool entitlement is core to his “appeal”? If so, does that make his rap career more or less hellacious, him more or less of a hateful fuckface? I’m really not sure.

Choice revelations in the interview re: S dot Pratt and Hip Hop:

-There is no correlation between his decision to become a rapper complete with public announcement of the same, and writing any material. He apparently has listened to some beats, but has no material of his own. Yet!

-There is no correlation between being a rapper and rapping. When asked to spit a verse, Pratt Daddy demurs and instead offers:

I mean my verses are real simple, I get money. I get paid all day, you know I’m on TV and I love life, you know, I got my fly wife and I kick back and get money. It’s not about rhyming lyrical this, it’s just about swag and that’s all I’ma be doing on tracks, just talking about really how paid I’m getting cause it’s ridiculousness.

-He knows less about hip hop than my dad.

-He’s a fucking racist prick, but more on that later.

Some relevant quotes:

A. I mean I not saying I’m the new white gangster rapper but I’m just saying I’m ruthless, I’m disobedient. I don’t have rules. Everyone hates me. I’m more hated than Eminem was in his prime so why wouldn’t I get on the Steve Morales smash, trash Puerto Rican, you know straight from the hood pop bottles, you know?

B. I’m actually signed to the hottest label in the whole—it’s the future of music. They’re the only ones with the right distribution model, they actually know how to make money.

XXL: What’s the name of the label?

SP: They actually know what profit is—it’s called Great White Records and I’m the CEO and right now sole artist under the label. I’m handling A&R, PR. I’m the stylist for the label.

On Eminem:
C. I’m not about to be trying to battle one of the founders of white hip-hop for me - but I’m not too amped on him.

D. I feel bad for the game. I’ve been the biggest hip-hop fan. I never thought I would have to go in and save the game, be the white hope in the game, but it’s happening. My calling is here.

Pratt is fixated on whiteness in a manner both racist and delusional. He feels his whiteness bears constant comment, as he probably has some anxiety about being a minority in The Game, but in no way does he question or interrogate its meaning. Instead he has constructed a grand narrative of white rappers and comes off as the self-appointed spokesman for the Aryan Hip Hop Nation. Eminem is a “founder of white hip-hop”? What exactly is “white hip hop”? He implies that being white rapper means being part of a (white) movement—for all the issues of cultural appropriation (more on that) and other problematics that happen when white people rap, it’s a step beyond Asher Roth style offensiveness to declare—and celebrate!—such a notion. I don’t think that white people should necessarily be barred from rap, but I don’t think the game needs a “great white hope” either, even before we get to the psychotic pipe dream that the words hip hop, hope, and Spencer Pratt belong in a sentence together.

It’s an interesting line from Em to Asher to Pratt. Eminem paid dues. Whatever valid criticisms one might make of his cultural role, inclusive of being a white dude who briefly was the biggest rapper on the planet, he did come up through hip hop scenes and was very much a part of the culture. He didn’t just take the musical style and leave everything else, a la Roth, the unapologetically un-hip hop white rapper catering to his white, fratty brethren. Pratt cites Roth extensively in the interview as his inspiration—not that he likes him per se, but:

“Once I heard him on Kiss FM when I was hearing him on Ryan Seacrest, I was like, “Oh my God, if this guy is on the radio I need to start rapping.” I’m about to be so platinum.”

And thus Roth begat Pratt, a douchebag so removed from the culture he’s appropriating that he doesn’t even feel a contradiction in being a rapper who doesn’t yet rap. “Rapper” seems to be a celebrity identity he’s selected, one that consists of attempted Ebonics and “swag”. He talks about loving hip hop but displays little but ignorance about it and is unable to discuss any artists in detail. Even his explanation of his own disappointment with Eminem’s Relapse as “the biggest Eminem fan” makes little sense:

“I think when you lose the grind and hustle that I have right now at like 25, just get my fame shining as bright as he was when writing his best stuff you just have a whole different energy. And then when you got $300 million or whatever in the bank and you just chilling and you just wanna go and make a statement and you just go put out a track or two with Dre it’s just a different sound.”

So…Eminem lost it because he got money and fame, while already having money and fame is exactly what Pratt plans to rap about as savior of The Game? Never mind that Em’s best albums (Marshall Mathers LP, The Eminem Show) were post fame. Also: anyone whose read a single article about Eminem recently knows that he’s hardly been “chilling” these past few. And what does he mean about Em wanting to “make a statement’? Is he forgetting that “Mosh” was five years ago? Is his weed that good?

While the world is largely in agreement that Pratt is an overindulged and under-brain-celled jerkoff, his prickiness here speaks to an entitlement that’s beyond his own. It’s not just that he’s brick stupid, he’s another monied white dude that thinks the world is his oyster. He displays a feeling of absolute entitlement to be accepted as a rapper that Eminem (rightly) felt that it was fair that he had to earn through his relevant skills, and investment in community, and Yet Pratt seems Em as some kind of color line breaking pioneer, blazing a trail so that future white rappers might not have to suffer as he did, an offensive concept that has nothing to do with Eminem’s own race and hip hop politic. Yet I’d imagine Pratt’s attitude is much closer to that of the legions of young white fans of both artists (if it makes sense to call those who follow Pratt “fans”), and if he has any success as a rapper (admittedly doubtful), it will pave the way for any douchey white dude who can’t even rhyme to attempt rap stardom without anyone batting an eye. Just more cultural colonization in post racial America, nothing to see here, folks.

I’m interested to see how this plays out.

Alina Simone

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Fri, 22 May 2009 17:56:00 +0000

At the Union Square Barnes and Noble:

And on WNYC's Soundcheck . Listen here.

The Limits of Control

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Wed, 20 May 2009 02:56:00 +0000

The Limits of Control is awesome and I loved it and the critics can suck it. Oh noes, a Jim Jarmusch movie that’s not plot driven? Say it ain’t so! You know what the deal is when you go to a Jarmusch movie—either go with it or don’t.

Maybe the the scorn is for the politics, which have been dismissed by various reviews as [I’m gonna paraphrase] “vaguely anti-corporate control” and “pro drugs and art.” Maybe they are uncomfortable with how angry the film is with the US government, and not at Bush in particular. It's a brand new-old America, right? Obama fixed things?

I don’t know where the “corporate” came from. It's not specifically about corporations, though it is specifically about government. Is "corporate" radical catch-all misnomer?

In 10 years they’re all gonna backtrack and jump on the “misunderstood classic” bandwagon a la Dead Man. Go see it if you like Jim Jarmusch. Or Godard.

Cold Potato and Beet Salad (vegan)

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Tue, 19 May 2009 21:39:00 +0000

This turned out well.

5 lbs potatoes, peeled
1 cup vegan mayonnaise substitute
1/3 cup apple cider vinegar
¼ cup olive oil
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1/3 cup fresh dill, chopped
1 medium beet, peeled and shredded
1 cup frozen peas

Put a pot of water up to boil. Cut potatoes in half and slice as you like (I like my slices fairly thin—1/4 to ½ inch or so.) Throw them in the pot. Boil for 10-15 minutes or until tender. Drain and run under cold water.

Bring a small pot of water to boil. Boil peas for aprox 3 minutes, drain, run under cold water.

Mix peas and all other ingredients in a large bowl. Add potatoes when done, mix well and chill at least one hour.

Interview with Sarah Katherine Lewis and Live Shondes Videos

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Sun, 17 May 2009 16:46:00 +0000

My Interview with feminist activist and writer Sarah Katherine Lewis went up on PopMatters a few days ago.

Here are two new live Shondes Clips from their recent show at Union Hall. I'm the camera stage left. Both clips are of new, unreleased songs: "Get Out" and "Fire Again".

Asher Roth

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Sat, 02 May 2009 18:58:00 +0000

I heard (heard is the proper term, as I didn't listen to)The Greenhouse Effect mix tape as was impressed by Roth's ability to credibly imitate Eminem's flow because: that's not easy. I didn't know anything about him and I didn't really listen to the lyrics; I was mildly interested and not looking to hate him. White rappers are inherently problematic, but I don't automatically hate them. I like El-P, I like Aesop Rock, I sometimes like Eminem, though I'm feeling really, really over him, but that's another post.

Then about a week ago Roth tweeted about "nappy headed hoes" and I decided I hated him. Then he told a reporter:

All these black rappers - African rappers - talking about how much money they have. 'Do you realize what's going on in Africa right now?' " Roth says.

"It's just like, 'You guys are disgusting. Talking about billions and billions of dollars you have. And spending it frivolously, when you know, the Motherland is suffering beyond belief right now.' "

So now I hate him. Racist sanctimonious fuckwit. He's since apologized in a lengthy, pious, statement clearly influenced by the Eminem school of earnest white rapper racism damage control. I don't care.

I agree with Byron Crawford--dude is fucking stupid.

Another case in point: this shit. It is apparently a hit in high schools and frat houses across the land. Here I was in blissful ignorance. It's not just that he's a pompous ass, his music sucks too. Whatever charm was evident on the mix tape has vanished into the most hateful piece of music I have heard in a long time. This shit makes Limp Bizkit look exciting. at least they talked about breaking stuff. This dude is at least feigning complete naivite at how his flaunting of privilege ("Huh, I'm in college, whoa, I don't work and just party all the time with mah bros who come before teh hoes, I hope I flunk all my classes so I can stay!!!" No, srsly, that's the song) might read as obnoxious to some. There's no self-analysis or irony, no wink and no nod. Then there's the fact that none of the rhymes are clever and his flow sucks. The abuse of a Weezer sample genetically programmed to simulate Good Times. But it doesn't matter. As Touré points out:

Many of us are still holding on, deep in the cranium, to that 80s mentality, when hip hop was black and relatively underground. We are as far from that as the Somali pirate is from home. Asher is the face of the majority of hip hop fans. It's inevitable that eventually one of them would get onstage...It may irritate some hip hop fans that Asher is suburban and doesn't pay homage to black culture and the ghetto (things Eminem does) but suburbia thinks hip hop is theirs and they're not wrong. Asher isn't unique, he's going to be followed by many more like him.

God help us. Shit like this sucks my hope all away.

Even the "good" song on the album sucks. It's better than the single, but...so? It's grossly sexist with none of redeeming qualities of some sexist rap. Eminem uses sexism to paint an analytic picture of his psyche (this is not a defense of his sexism,) or at least expresses it through some complicated rhyme scheme that is accomplished and thrilling even as the words nauseate. This is just sexism for its own sake; pandering to the worst impulses of crappier 13 year old boys and those whose development arrested when they were the same. No other content left much of an impression on me, though his flow and voice on it sound like grade c bootleg Eminem--distracting rather than intriguing. Tom Breihan correctly asserts that it:

is not actually a good song, but which does have that Seth McFarlane pop culture reference onslaught working for it; it's the sort of song that makes people feel smart for getting the non-jokes. Seth McFarlane is bullshit, but he's remarkably lucrative and popular bullshit.

God help us all.

The Shondes Music Video

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Fri, 01 May 2009 02:48:00 +0000

Finally finished.

Thoughts on the "Craig's List Killer"

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 23:26:00 +0000

I really hope that the dude they have in custody is the actual Craig's List Killer. It sure seems like that's the most likely scenario, what with his prints and DNA all over the crime scenes in Boston and Rhode Island. I feel strange about this, but a large part of me definitelt does want to see him go to prison for the rest of his life.

apparently he may have tried to kill himself. Boo fucking hoo. I do feel uneasy about my own "lock him up and throw away the key" mentality, as he seems to have unaddressed mental health issues and prison isn't gonna do shit to help that. I get really angry thinking about how much violence could be prevented if we had mechanisms for dealing with people--violent, crazy misogynists, say--other than waiting for them to kill someone. But that's a post for later.

For now I want to direct your attention to the penultimate paragraph of the article I linked above:

There are more calls for Craigslist to take down its "erotic services" category, or police the site more. "It is clear that Craigslist is the new frontier," Mark Lagon, executive director of the anti-trafficking group the Polaris Project told the Associated Press. "Ultimately, the 'erotic services' section must be shut down," Lagon said, explaining that a study last year found Craigslist was the site used most frequently by johns seeking prostitutes. Last month in Illinois, Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart sued the site, claiming that it has actively created, "the largest source of prostitution in America."

How ass backwards is that? Let's Protect Women* by driving their work into deeper secrecy, that makes a lot of sense. Independent hookers actually have been doing business since before Craig's List came around, gonna go out on a limb and guess they'll continue on with or without an "erotic services" category. It'll be a pain in the ass for some, but no deal breaker for most.

The take away here--and this should be obvious to anyone, regardless of how they personally feel about prostitution--is that sex workers in general, those who do out call work in particular, are especially vulnerable to certain kinds of violence. These kinds of men think they can get away with murder, if the victim is a sex worker. Because of the marginalized nature of their labor, they are in practice afforded less protection under the law. THAT is what you need to look at if you want to prevent psychos from killing prostitutes.

Then there's the blaming the victim subtexts--as if this dude wouldn't have killed anyone if there were no prostitutes. As if he couldn't have entrapped a non-sex worker through any number of means, perhaps even Craig's List-related! As if misogynist violence happens to sex workers (and maybe some other deviants), not women who avoid "dangerous" behavior.

*Of course all sex workers are women, didn't you know?

RIP Bea Arthur

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 22:29:00 +0000

Bea Arthur died today after a battle with cancer. She was 86. I only just recently discovered the amazingness that is Maude. I will miss her very much.

Oh, Marilyn...

noreply@blogger.com (Constintina) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 22:56:00 +0000

This is just sad:

According to Roadrunner Records, Manson told Kerrang** a lot of things about this record, like that he wrote all of the lyrics on his bedroom walls where he would do all of the album's press and kidnap those willing to "fornicate" therein, or something. He made a point to compare the songs to those on Antichrist Superstar. It's a big deal that Twiggy is back, because kids today have any idea who the fuck he is. There's a lot of wanking on his method:

"During the whole process I took a lot of photos, so the artwork is a lot of storytelling and the way that the songs have turned out is more from my point of view rather than looking at me. Because I always wanted to take pictures, my house is set up like a movie set. Instead of lamps I have movie lights and smoke machines and things."

"I really look at this record as a film, maybe because I sort of directed it. I stopped trying to conform regular life into the idea that it's regular life.

I especially like that last sentence because: what?I am kinda jealous that his house is so photo-ready because, to be honest I aspire to that, but the best I can do is a couple pie plates I can run around and clip as needed.

Um. Song titles include "Pretty as a Swastika" and "I Want To Kill You Like They Do In The Movies". The latter could actually be good! I also kind of like "I Have To Look Up Just To See Hell".

I miss the old Marilyn Manson, the one who slid comfortable in and out of self-parody.

*Yes, the Roadrunner Records that declined to promote Who Killed Amanda Palmer, I guess because they had to gather all the king's army behind relevant genius like this.

**Couldn't find the original interview online.