Pretty Much...This is True

NEW BLOG!

2012-03-30T21:32:00.003-07:00

Starting over...again!

http://momontherocksjbj.blogspot.com/

Rolled Oat Blueberry Scones

2011-06-04T13:28:00.001-07:00

The texture is definitely not the same as regular scones, but they are yummy!

Narnia Reading Challenge!

2011-05-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

This reeks of a small group project...I think I know what my HS girls will be doing this summer :) 

Who else is in?

"Dear Prudence"

2011-05-13T10:46:00.001-07:00

...or Avery. Sorry, I didn't have the heart to name you Prudence because it's just not a name I like, but it fits for the song and currently there is not a "Dear Avery" song. One day...

Last night, after feeling fluttering for the past couple of weeks, you actually kicked or punched or tossed around and your daddy felt you. Thank you that most precious gift.

This morning, I can still feel you moving about and I believe it's you reminding me that you're here, but not here. It's the now and not yet phenomenon. You're here and I'm hoping that I'm living life okay here on the outside so that you are well protected on the inside. I still can't imagine you here though - live! That will be another life-changing experience and I'm looking forward to finally meeting you face-to-face. I wonder if I'll cry, laugh, or just be astonished that you actually exist.

I believe in you, with my whole heart I believe in you and love you, but to see you in person, tangible, your tiny little hand waving about - that is a whole other extraordinary world.

♫

Cakes of a Potato

2011-04-27T21:47:00.000-07:00

I made my first batch of potato pancakes and they are yummy! The ones I made for the men who live under the roof had cheese on them (of course!) and mind had lemon pepper sprinkled on them. Then again, what isn't good when it's fried in butter?

I would have taken a picture, but we ate them all up!

PS - I must give credit to my chef husband because he made the mashed potatoes last night from scratch :)

"Little Bunny Foo Foo"

2011-04-21T13:21:00.000-07:00

Bought the stuff and now, I believe, this makes me committed to the making, baking, stirring, chopping, and preparing of Easter lunch. Here is what it "should" look like:

Ham & Cheese Breakfast Casserole

Baked Apple Cinnamon French Toast

Roasted Asparagus Citrus Dressing

♫

My new favorite site!

2011-02-03T13:19:00.000-08:00

www.goodreads.com

mmmm...food :)

2011-01-22T10:06:00.001-08:00

In My Life

2011-01-09T22:46:00.001-08:00

First, there was The Day, which was filled with worship, beautiful friends and family:

Second, there was The Honeymoon, which was filled with foreign languages, interesting people, and yummy food:

Third, there was the new reading selection, which is filled with new and useful information:

O, 2011, what a year to be had!

11.14.10

2010-11-14T00:12:00.000-08:00

More changes...it's all just so crazy, but since life is sort of consuming me at the moment, I am failing to recognize that things are going to change and slightly envious of those who are going through life-changing moments. Well, so am I.

I'm getting married.

I have been given the opportunity to go to Spain for 10 days.

I'm moving to a home...no more being a roommate or paying rent.

I going to live out a new role.

I don't know how to be a wife. I'm far from the woman who designed all the kitchen stuff we registered for - thank you Martha Stewart! Cleaning, don't love to do, but it gets done. I'm not sure what looks good on a wall except for a bookshelf filled with books. I do know how to - though not perfectly and I mess up all the time - love my future husband, support him, and respect him. That's about all I can do.

What do I look forward to the most?

No more watching the clock! When I want to go to sleep, I can just go! No more driving home, away from him. I can just sleep and he'll be next to me. And...the best part!...he'll be there in the morning too.

27 days.

2010-11-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/blog/7th+Dear+Lucky+Agent+Contest+Young+Adult.aspx

Real Quick!

2010-09-11T16:44:00.000-07:00

Week 3

1. When, in the last week, did I feel most alive?

Having those "divine interruptions" where I am given some time, or I actually recognize that I have the time, to sit down with one or just a few of the high school-ers and just listen to them, ask them questions, love them a little bit more than the day before.

2. What undertows am I feeling in my life this week?

My prayer life is in the toilet. 'Nuff said :(

"27 Dresses...Time for the Third!"

2010-09-07T15:11:00.000-07:00

This dress, the cost being so tangible it turns my face red (did I really become one of those brides?), was not the first one, the second, or the third dress. At least, it wasn't the original third dress. The one with the billowy skirt and pockets was the third dress to try on.

The first dress had a back to it that looked like something out of Vegas. Unless I had suddenly turned 50 years old after decades of partying as if it were still 1975, this dress was not for me. I put it on anyway and I heard my mother scream (hypothetically yet super realistic in my head) "Jennifer, I told you your tattoos would be the bane of your wedding dress picks!" Rather than smack my mom in the face as I walked down the aisle in the tackiest thing I've ever worn, I said "No" and didn't even attempt to walk out of the dressing room to show my support who came with me to the shop filled with lace, ribbon, tulle, chiffon, glittery-glam-sequincy stuff.

The second dress was a dress - I actually don't remember what it looked like at all.

It was after this second one that I was just done and wanted to go. I'm a good shopper, when I know what I want. I didn't know what I wanted and the store was suffocating me with all it's white and I wanted to go home.

The lady must have seen my face because she said she just knew the perfect dress and she scampered off to go fetch it.

Looking at it, I still didn't know and then she pushed me back into the room to try it on.

Better.

Imagining the church. The people. The lights. Him.

So much better.

It took asking me a few more times and then I just knew. The pocket dress was fine, still up on its hanger, the dress that was now embracing me was the Third/One dress.

This Third/One dress is the dress I will get to worship and celebrate all that God has done in my life and continues to do with each passing day or hour. I will get to walk with my pastor who has been such a guide for my life that I can never thank him enough. I will get to stand next to the man who will not only be my husband, but the one who is there to help me, guide me, protect me, stand for me - the man who is enough.

"27 Dresses"

2010-09-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

I own a lot of dresses. I had more, way more, and then in the process of moving from one county to another I did donate some to the Goodwill. Now, there's not as many, but even as I sit here and glance over at my closet, there's still more than enough to choose from for most any occasion that may come my way.

I love dresses. Each one has it's own personality, I guess you could say. Some make me feel professional in life - I know if I wear that one I will be successful at work, run through a grocery store during my hour lunch, drive in traffic, create a masterpiece for dinner, and listen intently to those I care about when they tell me about their day. Another dress is one that must be worn when eating outside with a great book (or Nook!). The other one just begs to be gazed upon. And, yes, I even have a couple dresses that demand twirling.

There are two dresses of significance in my closet - one hasn't reached the closet yet, but it will be there within the next couple of months. The first one is a dark purple and, depending on the light, glistens in the way oil does in a parking lot after it rains. It's short (most of my dresses are because I lack height), with spaghetti straps, and the bottom has a slight "bubble bottom" that was so popular at one point.

I love this dress!

I went with three friends to pick it out, not this particular one, I really didn't know what I had in mind and we went to two stores. We had such a good time and I remember at one point one of my lovely friends I worked with a camp called me and we chatted for a bit. It was a very loving day. The afternoon was perfect, great weather, and from where we were you could see the ocean. The dress that was being sought after was going to be worn on a date. Not just any date. This was the second date and it was to a musical. It was the dressed-up date!

He has seen me half-asleep. He has seen me dirty. He has seen me dressed as normal as anybody else. He has not seen me all done-up. I needed to impress.

He said I was beautiful. He held my hand. He apologized for taking me to a very embarrassing show.

- To be continued

♫

"Back to School Again"

2010-08-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

School is in session. Almost - classes start next week, but there is plenty of life happening on campus this week.

Professors are back in their offices, staff is turning their computers back on, and students are moving back into dorms.

What am I doing?

My brain, body, and even a bit of my soul are screaming at me to go to school. Where are the new school supplies? Did you order the backpack yet? When is the long-awaited, giant order of used books coming to my door? (That one probably hurts the most. I love making that order!)

It's just so odd not to have school next week. When I made the decision not to attend grad school this fall, it was hard, but I accepted it. Then again, school wasn't staring me down. It was summer. Everyone was gone, back at home, working at camp, taking vacations. Only summer school was happening and that has never been something I yearned to do. No big deal.

It's harder now and I feel like I'm back in that mode of is-this-really-my-life? All my friends are either in school, married with kids, or long into their careers. Where am I? Graduated (finally!) and working at a school in a job that I know I won't be at until the end of time. Is it a job pertaining to my degree? No, not really.

I know this is just a moment of change and who adjusts well to change? Pretty much, not a one. It will be weird to hear about classes and homework - though I know I will never miss homework! - but after a couple of weeks or so, I'll remember that where I am now is not an accident. Actually, I do realize that now, but I just need to accept it.

I am where I am because God has put me here. He may put me somewhere else in two months. Who even knows? Not me! I use to look at the whole not-knowing as fun. It meant that there was so much possibility and excitement. Now, I don't know, that part or that way of thinking as gone and I didn't even notice it had left. I miss it. I want it back. I need to remember this and ask for it to come back - my old friend of optimism.

♫

"Our God"

2010-06-10T21:15:00.000-07:00

Week 2

1. When, in the last week, did I feel most alive?

I got to sit in on an admissions interview for a future religion major and was brought to tears just to hear how God was working in his life, at a job he doesn't particularly love, but because of his love for God three (3!) of his co-workers accepted Christ. One did it while at work! I loved it and loved to listen to his story, and I just cannot wait to watch him grow in his faith as he takes classes. It was such a blessing

2. What undertows am I feeling in my life this week?

Oh goodness, the usual insecurity, not thinking I should be allowed to feel a certain way because it may be too much, pathetic, ridiculous and hesitating on whether I should swallow up those feelings or just be honest about it.

♫

"Alive"

2010-05-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

Week 1

1. When, in the last week, did I feel most alive?

When I realized that my thoughts about the future are not my own, but given to me by the Holy Spirit and those thoughts are manifested! As in, right now, they are manifested. Perhaps, not fully because, last I checked, I'm still breathing and my heart's still beating. But it is starting...the future that God wants from me. It's so encouraging and it reminds me of what Dr. Austring said last September, "Sounds like God is preparing you." When he said this and when I think of it now it makes me all teary-eyed. At the time I had no idea what this preparation could be for, but I think I'm starting to catch on.

2. What undertows am I feeling in my life this week?

lack of self-control.........UGH! Yesterday, I read that we are to ask the Holy Spirit to help us (I know, novel concept, huh?), guide us, provide the wisdom we lack. So, I do this. I have done this. Why isn't it working. Oh yeah, because I IGNORE the Spirit! Maybe stop doing this? GoodNESS!

♫

Two That Will Save You

2010-05-11T23:53:00.000-07:00

As an antidote to the kind of stress that leads to burnout, try a one-year experiment. Start a simple journal, and at least once a week make an entry in it that answers two questions:

1. When, in the last week, did I feel most alive?

2. What undertows am I feeling in my life this week?

Use the first question as a trigger for praise and thanks to God. After you answer the second question go to 1 Peter 5:7, then consciously cast that care onto God's shoulders.

If you decide to keep journaling past the one-year "experimental" stage, every month you can look back to the previous year's corresponding month just to track the progress of God's movement in your life.

Len Kageler

Ok, well, I don't know about whether these questions will "save" me, but they certainly will help! I think I"m gonna try it out. Although, I'm already thinking of not doing it because I'm all scared that I won't be able to keep it up for an ENTIRE year because I may forget, or get busy, or not want to, or get bored, or my laptop may die, or the sky will fall, or my hands will fall off (maybe just my fingers), or the internet might reach it's peak and go away forever! So many excuses, but I'm gonna give it a go!

"Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop" Part 2

2010-04-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

I fall in love with him each and every time over warm cups of coffee. Sometimes the cups are mugs - big ones and ones so small that you can't even fit one finger through the handle. There are the paper cups with the cardboard guards that protect your fingers from burning off. We have shared coffee in the car, in the coffee place, during dinner, after dinner, on the beach, on the tram to Disneyland, at a bookstore, with books and without, and on the couch between the "I'm sleepy" and "goodnight."

Coffee is our "thing" and I know it's something we share with many others, but when it's just the two of us with our cups or mugs of coffee it is as if the rest of the world quiets just for a moment and we get to share a small glimpse of each other.

♫

"Paperback Writer"

2010-03-07T20:28:00.000-08:00

It's weird when you realize that the time you've spent on something you love actually produces something. When others tell you that it took them this long to do this or that long to get to where they are today...I think that we all - I least I know I do - secretly think that it'll be different in our case. We'll get there twice as fast and with less sweat. Now, this may happen for those choice few, but for the most part this isn't true for the other 99% of the population.

I've been writing since before I knew how to spell. My first story was about this little boy who stole "brocken" wood. Oh yes, the wood was brocken. It was brocken for an entire two pages. Even when he made it into a bird house, the wood remained brocken.

From there I wrote stories about anything and everything. I wrote about a world made out of apple pie. I wrote a poem about limousines - my favorite car at the time. I wrote about a love triangle and the girl, Izzy, plummets to her tragic demise on the last page. There was the story about the brothers and one was a boxer. A bus ride to Woodstock that turns out to be anything, but normal. Oh yeah, then there's another bus ride story that involves a mom and daughter finding their way home.

I love to write.

So, there has been lots of trees I have helped to demolish, a couple things published in my high school's literary magazine, but nothing much afterward. I wrote stuff for school, but nothing ever went past the classroom. Until recently...all that work, preparation, practice...it's been happening.

I grabbed the opportunity to freelance write for websites. I have two plays that are going to be produced in the 10 Minute Showcase. I have a paper that is going to be in the Christian & Literature Conference.

EEEEEK!

Wow!

Really?!

I don't know if I'll ever be that new-found-wonder on some book list out there and I've never asked for that - though with God, anything is possible, so maybe maybe - but these few events in my writing life are beyond anything I thought would happen. It's really exciting and puts the thought in my head that writing as a career is possible. It doesn't help that ugly doubt is a smelly fungus that won't go away. Maybe I need more of an ego? More confidence? I don't know...either way, I am going to enjoy all of this and I am so thankful for God placing a pencil in my hand and not telling me how to spell broken.

PS - Three months...he has my heart. With each word, each smile, each moment I fall more and more. Holding his hand, being by his side is such a true gift from the only One who is able to give such a gift.

♫

"Blackbird"

2009-12-17T11:26:00.000-08:00

I thought while I kept myself in my cozy bed, not so much out of laziness, but out of not feeling well (that's a better excuse, right?) I would babble some because now is a good enough time as any.

School is done! It was done last Friday around 9:30ish a.m. Greek was the last final for me and we were warned about 30 seconds before we started that we will take the exam AGAIN! on the second day of class next semester. Oh yes, the man knows how to win our hearts. We're supposed to be doing 15 minutes of Greek every day during the break...has yet to happen for me. I'll get on it, eventually.

Grades come out tomorrow!

So, aside from the Greek I'm not doing, I am reading, working, high school grouping, and spending time with family and my sweetie - my Jason :)

I read many blogs from all sorts of people, some in, some not in relationships. For the ones that are in relationships, there is some kind of happiness that is within them and their words that they share especially when they write about that one guy or that one girl. It's fun and I love to get caught up in the words because that kind of happiness, unfortunately, seems so rare. I don't know how to explain it...it's more solid, more tangible, more fulfilling...I don't know, but it is something different. I use to think, "Wow, they are so lucky to have each other, to be able to share in this happiness." I was just reading a blog this morning and the husband and wife were writing about their 7 year anniversary and the same thought ran through my head along with "Oh my gosh! I'm in that happiness! I'm experiencing this!"

So undeserving, so unknowing if it would happen, so trusting that God had a plan and I would step on to whichever path He had for me.

It took what seemed like forever to be okay with just myself and not "yes, I'm single, but I'm fine on my own." It was more, "I love my life with God and doing what He wants me to do at this moment. Whatever happens, happens, but I know right now He and I are living out this life." I wasn't actively looking, you could say, for that somebody else or anything like that, I was just experiencing life. Then when the fall semester started, I thought there was a chance with someone that I was growing very close to, talking to all the time, and sharing stuff with, but it felt the same as it had before. Usually, when I start to like someone, I get completely stressed out about it! I am always caught up in stupid questions, things that don't matter, and lost in wonder. I try to make things happen. This is what I was doing. Then my friends invited me to fast with them during the week of Halloween. By this time, I was already trying to convince myself that I needed to let go of this other person because I was making myself insane. The week of fasting (my first one ever!) was beyond anything I could have imagined.

That week made me quiet, made me listen, made my heart and mind open for whatever was in store. Also, despite the lack of food, I did excellent on all my papers and exams that week! Praise God for His strength!

...and that's kind of where it all began...the week of Halloween. Late nights at the church, painting a pumpkin, asking questions, and just opening my eyes. The happiness, which I've read from so many others, started pouring into my life.

Lord, I can't repay you for anything you have done and now you give me this? Will any form of "thank you" ever be enough?

It is so amazing and unlike anything I have ever experienced. When I'm with him, in his arms, my head is "How? Why? When? What? Where?" It's not confusing, but just "Wow, this is really happening."

God is so good and His good is overwhelming.

♫

"Pennies from Heaven"

2009-11-26T21:55:00.000-08:00

The day was filled with cooking, cleaning, eating!, friends, family, and dogs. It was a great day and night. My most favorite part was washing the dishes next to my mom and sister as they were ripping apart a turkey carcase.

Here are the cupcakes my mom brought:

Here's one of the four-legged friends that were doing their best to help out in the kitchen - say hello to Tuna!

♫

::click::

2009-11-23T10:05:00.000-08:00

I'm between classes at the moment and, rather than doing homework, I am putting my mind on other things...going over the past couple weeks and all the stuff that has been packed into those weeks. It's been good stuff - good good stuff. Unexpected and though I still wonder about how it happened, why it happened...it's happened/happening and just wow! As I said to a dear friend, it's amazing how things make sense when you're obedient to God, when you let Him do things His way. My mind set is so different than ever before and it makes it unexplainable yet comforting at the same time.

So, here is a image walk-through of my recent life...enjoy! (Maybe one day I'll realize that I own a camera and can take my own pictures...one day)

"...I've realized that no matter what is going on I just so have the best time with you. Thank you."

"...I look forward to the next time."

There is so much more than a picture can ever hold, but every moment is a mental picture (yes, just like The Office) for me.

::click::

Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There is a Season)

2009-11-13T20:16:00.000-08:00

This semester...there are four weeks left! It is so hard to believe how fast it has gone by. This means I only have one semester left for my undergraduate degree. It's been one of the harder semesters. Greek <-- that's my reason/excuse/complaint/joy for everything these past three months. It is great, gets in the way, and is so rewarding. I absolutely love the class and am thankful to be in it. I'm excited for Greek II next semester and, if Vanguard has me for the graduate program, I plan on enrolling in Second Year Greek for fall 2010.

The summer, well, I'm not quite sure as of yet. I think I know what is going to happen, but nothing is 100% guaranteed, which is exciting. It doesn't make me scared or nervous. It's more of an anticipation because if I don't know what is happening that means that anything that will happen will be an opportunity. Always a good thing.

As for life...so much as changed since a year ago. Location, people, myself. A year ago, I think I was fairly miserable. I was happy to be at a new school, studying what I wanted to study, and learning more about my faith, but the getting to and from school was so not fun. I missed my friends from work. I was always rushing from one place to the next because everything in my life was in a different city. Though sometimes there would be a sense of peace. I loved riding on the train and seeking out all the churches along the way, their cross high above the other houses and buildings. I always wanted to take pictures of them, but never did. The tornado that would fly by on the tracks (The Amtrak) was exhilarating. I had so much fun sitting midway between the track and the bench, holding tight to my books, and feeling it whip by me. Those were some good moments.

Then spring semester arrived and I was living on campus. So good, but I had to let go of my home church. So not good. I felt ripped apart. I also didn't know what I was supposed to do with myself, if anything. Nothing felt right, nothing felt like a step in a forward direction. I've written three papers now on John Milton's "When I Consider How My Light is Spent" and I love the last line and yet didn't take it to heart, "They also serve who only stand and wait". Our works don't give us any more favor in God's heart than the ones who are at a standstill in their lives. I was at a complete, my feet are statues in cement blocks, standstill. I tried out a few churches, liked them, but none of them felt like home. Of course, I wasn't too fair because I kept comparing them to CBC. How could I not? It's the only church I've really known. Finally...light bulb throws itself at my head...Anaheim! Twenty minutes away, I kinda know the pastor :) Home. So strange how that worked out. The associate pastor from CBC goes to Anaheim before I even know I'm moving to Costa Mesa and bam! God brings it all together. I was just too wrapped up in myself to realize it back in January. Sometimes I'm slow.

And here I am now (summer...well, summer is in all the posts below) heading into my last semester, helping out with the High School Group, and other possible happenings that make me unexpectedly really happy. I thought I was going down this one road and no, I was completely wrong. Thank goodness, I didn't get too far down it and lost. I find I'm listening more for God and letting Him guide me and it has made such a difference. I'm so grateful to Him. He has, as if there was doubt, made me complete and as a wonderful, beautiful friend taught me this summer - He is my #1, perfect for me in every way, I think he even likes the way I sing! I've learned so much and the thrilling part is that it doesn't end. There is still so much to learn and receive and give and explore and discover and love. I'll quote one of my family's favorite movies, "There are still good times to be had".

♫

"From the Inside Out"

2009-10-21T22:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight was so needed. I knew what my lesson was for the day to correct the past days this morning, God is enough, more than enough. God knows my heart, however, and knew that what I realized this morning was not sticking with me. As the hours went by I fell deeper and deeper into myself rather than into Him. During high school group the lesson was living with a purpose. Our purpose - living for Him and, as the girls and I spoke, to allow God or to recognize that He is our center. Then later, at Shine, all the lyrics revolved around the theme that He is more than enough, satisfies, all that I need, all that I want...I don't want blessings I want You.

Goodness God, when will I ever listen? You speak to me an entire night...will I admit that this is my only truth?

The moment the music started something stirred and the tears cooled my face. Some stuff has happened this week and rather than letting myself feel the natural hurt from it I was immediately "ok". I suppose I came to this conclusion since I had already known the answer to my question...how can you feel hurt over something you knew was going to happen? Well you can, but I thought I couldn't or that it wouldn't faze me as much as it did/has. Any amount of hurt, pain, confusion I immediately squash down and tell myself and others "it's ok, don't worry about it, I'm fine, moving on..." but that isn't right. It isn't right because I am still not going to God with it. Regardless of how long the hurt is sustained (or not for that matter) it still needs to go to God. No amount of covering it up or even hurdling myself over it makes it okay for me to take care of it myself. In fact, by doing that I'm still trying to control the circumstances.

::sigh::

As I told my girls tonight learning to love God completely and to follow Him without reservation and letting everything around you dissolve is so hard and never perfected, but it is something we yearn and strive to do every moment He gives us because glorifying God with our lives brings a rest and peace upon our souls.

♫

Pretty Much...This is True

NEW BLOG!

Rolled Oat Blueberry Scones

Narnia Reading Challenge!

"Dear Prudence"

Cakes of a Potato

"Little Bunny Foo Foo"

My new favorite site!

Jennifer's book montage

mmmm...food :)

In My Life

11.14.10

Real Quick!

"27 Dresses...Time for the Third!"

"27 Dresses"

"Back to School Again"

"Our God"

"Alive"

Two That Will Save You

"Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop" Part 2

"Paperback Writer"

"Blackbird"

"Pennies from Heaven"

::click::

Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There is a Season)

"From the Inside Out"