Primal Matriarch HAS MOVED!!!

A New Space

2010-10-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

Creating this space these past few months have given me so much: access and friendships with people in the primal/paleo community, knowledge and research, a place to share my recipes, a space to share my success and try and inspire and motivate others.

Many of you know I also have a "mommy blog" where I talk about my family and the antics of my demon seed children. But for a while now, keeping up with two separate blogs has been wearing on me. I've felt I've had to keep the parts of me separate.

So I've created a new space where I feel I can carve out a really great space that encompasses all of me: my life, my recipes, my story.

I hope you'll all follow me - update blogrolls, comment, mention my change of site in one of your posts - as I portion myself out to you.

Life: As A Plate.

My take on Strong Is the New Skinny

2010-10-21T10:44:00.000-07:00

There's a movement underway mostly geared towards women that I heard recently in the Crossfit/Paleo community. Based on this original blog post, the Facebook page for the movement has close to 6,000 members:

Strong is the New Skinny

Though I am for empowering women, especially young girls, to eschew the ideal of skinny over being strong and fit, I think this tag-line is still perpetuating the concept of "skinny."

Why can't Strong be the New Strong? Why can't we focus on raising girls to love their bodies, no matter their shape, and help them learn to be strong, both physically and mentally? Why does "strong" have to be in lieu of skinny or instead of? Why can't it just be?

I may also be digging far too deep into this and what the original writers and the movement was calling for was for media and specifically, models, to embrace being strong as sexy rather than skinny. To find healthy, strong women more visually appealing than their "skinny" counterparts. The author also wrote an addendum.

Maybe to me it's the idealization of the term "skinny" or even the negative connotation of it. Some people are just skinny, genetically and it's who they are. Can't they be strong too?

Again, I may be over-sensitive and over-analyzing a movement meant to empower. And I'm not trying to dig at the creators or the authors of that blog post because I think they are well-intentioned.

I an a tough, strong woman. I an prouid of that for what it is. And I will raise a tough, strong daughter. To be proud of herself and her body, for what it is, not for what it isn’t.

I just wish more women, especially our daughters just wanted to be.

Be strong.
Be fit.
Be happy.

What's your take?

Photo Journey

2010-10-19T09:24:00.000-07:00

So, I finally broke that plateau and this morning weighed in at 201 - a weight I haven't seen since my honeymoon.

From around 300 pounds at 21 years old:

I started my weight loss journey on my own. I hired a trainer and went to a nutritionist (who now I realize was an idiot but whatever) Shortly after, around 240 or so, I met Mike.

Over the next couple of years, the weight came off. I worked out almost every day, sometimes twice. I ate very little and low fat. I followed Weight Watchers off and on. (Again, if I only I could go back and punch myself in the mommy buttons.)

I had hit my lowest adult weight at 184 the week before my wedding:

I gained a few pounds between the rehearsal dinner (in the pic above), bachelorette party, etc. and on the morning of my wedding I weight in at 189. I remember the number as clear as day.

Then a few days after our wedding, we went to Hawaii for our honeymoon:

where we ate and drank all we wanted for 10 glorious days. I came back at 203. Also? Pregnant.

I had Charlotte and came home around 265:

It took a little over a year but I lost all of that weight and got back down to 203 exactly to be in a friend's wedding:

And that weekend? Got pregnant again:

And came home with this guy at 277.

Sawyer turned 2 in July and even though it's taken two years, I am now at 201.

This is a weight I haven't seen in more than five years. And I've gotten here in a way so different than before: no cardio for hours at the gym, no starvation. I am leaner at this 201 than I ever have been before. I run and lift weights heavier than my own body. I eat a lot of real, healthy food.

And I feel like a new person. I feel like I've got a second chance at being a better version of myself.

And by the gods, I WILL see 199 by my 30th birthday in a couple of weeks.

30 is not the new 20. It is the new me. Bring it.

Grain-Free Flourless Apple Spice Bread With Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

2010-10-18T09:11:00.000-07:00

"I really want a cinnamon roll," says my sick husband on the couch. The same husband who has a positive Celiac antibody test.

"No, you don't. Now shush and watch the game." Miami is losing to Green Bay at this point and I think any whining is bad juju.

"Fine, then I want an apple turnover."

"How about if you're quiet, during halftime I finagle some kind of apple cinnamon bread to hit your cravings without having you fall off the grain-free wagon face first into a pile of nutiritonally useless calories?

"Fine. It better be good," he snarks and blows his nose.

And thus, this was born. And LAWDY jeebus, let me tell you this: It's like apple CAKE! Moist, delicious, perfect for a fall morning's breakfast (not that I'd know since I'm shunning baked goods for a few weeks till I beat this plateau). But the bite I had was amazing and I can actually hear the cake right now, calling me from the kitchen. Jerky cake.

The best part? This is ridiculously simple and easy and you should have all of the ingredients already.

Grain-Free Flourless Apple Spice Bread With Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

What you need:

2 apples, peeled and diced
2 tbsp orange juice
1 cinnamon stick (optional but YUM)
2 c. almond butter (unsweetened)
1/4 c. maple syrup
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg.

What you do:

In a saucepan, combine apples, vanilla, orange juice and a cinnamon stick. If you don't have one, use a dash of cinnamon. Simmer on low until apples are soft and only a small amount of juice (around 1 tbsp) remains.

In a food processor, blend the almond butter, eggs, baking soda, maple syrup, cinnamon and nutmeg. Chances are it will form a giant ball like this:

That's okay because now you add the apples and pulse it a few times until it looks like this.

Pour into a baking dish and bake at 350 for 20-30 minutes or until passes the toothpick test.

For the frosting, simply mix 1/4 c. cream cheese, 1/4 c. greek yogurt, 1 tbsp maple syrup and spread on top. Garnish with a walnut.

Crab-Stuffed Salmon Pinwheels With a Garlic Dill Cream Sauce

2010-10-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

This recipe is a lot easier than it sounds. Seriously. I put it together in less than 10 minutes. You will need a large fillet of salmon though for this and if it's too thick, you'll need to skim some off the top (save and freeze for a quick lunch!).

I also like to use pureed pine nuts as a binder with seafood because they're moist and offer a neutral, slightly nutty flavor. Simply put them in your food processor to make a "paste."

You also want to make sure you use a proper sized baking dish and that these pinwheels are "wedged" inside. If, like me, you were using your square baking dish for something else and need to put it in a larger dish, roll up some foil and push it up against the salmon. This prevents them from unrolling and keeps the cream sauce on top.

Crab-Stuffed Salmon Pinwheels With a Garlic Dill Cream Sauce

What you need:
For the filling:

2 can white premium crab
1 tbsp scallions
1 tsp old bay seasoning
1 tbsp cream cheese
1/3 c. pureed pine nuts

For the sauce:

2 tbsp butter
2 garlic cloves, finely diced
1 tbsp fresh dill, chopped
1/3 c. heavy cream
1 tbsp white wine (optional)

What you do:

Mix all the filling ingredients together.

Skin a large salmon fillet. If too thick, slice some off the top.

Spread the filling in a layer over the top of the salmon.

Roll up and slice with a very sharp knife.

The extra water is because this salmon was previously frozen.

Use a spatula to transfer the pinwheels a baking dish.

To make the sauce, melt the butter in a saucepan, add garlic and dill and cook on low for 2 minutes.

Add cream and bring to a simmer.

Pour sauce over pinwheels.

Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.

Vitamin D

2010-10-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

I know a lot of you who read me here also read my other "mommy" blog, but I have a post up that will likely interest you all as well. I look forward to you comments!

Helping Her Fight: Vitamin D Levels and Childhood Asthma.

The Plunge

2010-10-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

After reading my blogs and seeing the progress both my husband and I have had following this primal lifestyle, a lot of my friends have either made the switch or at least made changes for the better. That humbles me in a way I didn't think possible.

That you guys make my recipes, find inspiration in my stories, or take control of your health because of these words I write makes me feel a sense of pride unlike any other.

All that sappy stuff aside, I do get a lot of emails or questions regarding starting eating primally. More specifically, how did I feel? People want to know what to expect.

Well, there's good news and bad news. The good news is this: if you're already a fairly clean eater and you're just moving to remove grains from your diet, you will likely experience little or no negative effects; only the good ones! However, if you're like me and sustained yourself on wings, lean cuisines, and beer during a stressful cross-country move for a period of weeks, the switch will be harder.

And here's where I'm going to be blatantly honest with you: if you are coming from a lifestyle of crap/processed food, the first few days will suck. Hard.

I literally felt sick, like I had the flu. I had a headache and was exhausted. I was uneasy and dizzy and just felt plain awful. The dishes and laundry piled up, the kids played under my lifeless body on the couch, and I didn't care. I didn't care that my work deadlines were approaching. I didn't care that there was a family of marmosets living off the petrified eggs on the dishes in the sink. I didn't care that I was wearing the same clothes three days in a row.

I felt that bad.

Motrin didn't touch the headache. Coffee didn't help the exhaustion.

But I stuck with it. I tried to focus on the bad feelings as all of the poison and toxins I had poured into my body slowly leaving them. My muscle fatigue and headaches were my body letting go off all the bad stuff.

I drank lots of water and green tea (which, I still think tastes like moose testicles). I napped when I could. And on day five, I woke up a new person. My body felt clean. I felt light and happy.

And I've pretty much felt that great ever since (with the exception of a too-far indulgence hangover). I Crossfit almost daily and try and fast a few mornings a week to let my body focus on ridding the extra toxins. And I haven't been sick once despite my poor kids getting cold after cold as their little bodies adjust to living in a new area with new germs. It makes me wish it was easier to raise kids this way (a post and rant for another day).

Friends who made the decision to go primal would text me and be like "WHEN DOES THIS END? I WANT TO DIE!" and I'd like them to comment here and assure people on the fence, that yes, it gets better. It DOES end.

And I guarantee once you get through it and feel how your body is supposed to work and feel how your meant to feel, you'll likely never go back down that road again.

Strengths

2010-10-12T09:35:00.000-07:00

I think a lot of time, especially with something as difficult as Crossfit, I find myself focusing on my shortcomings as an athlete.Never having been an "athlete" before at all, I have trouble even defining myself as such.

I suck at pull-ups. Because I'm still near 200 lbs (203 - I want 199 so bad!!!) it's very difficult for a woman to have the upper body strength to be able to lift that. I was using a box for the last five months (you just basically do the motion but use a box to "jump" up) but today I graduated to the biggest resistance band. Eventually as I get better with that - I could only do 3 at a time - I'll move down the bands and down with my body weight to a point where I hope one day to do a real big girl pull up.

The same with push-ups. 203 lbs is a lot to push up and when I first started I didn't have the upper body strength to do any. Now I can do a few, and have no issue with modified pushups (knees on ground).

So some days where the WODs are full of things I'm not good at, like today's Tabatas, I try and make myself list the things I AM good at.

I am good at squats. Likely because of my young start in life at soccer and the fact that I had to carry around my 300-lb ass for a lot of my adolescent life, my legs are insanely strong. I can do a lot of squats and I can do them quickly.

I am good at medball cleans. Likely for the same reason I am good at squats, I am good at these. I seem to be able to dip down low enough and catch the ball just right. However, their cousin the WallBall I kind of suck at. I blame my depth perception issues because I never throw it right and it usually misses the wall and hits me in the face. Which is always fun to take a 14-lb giant ball to the face (commence dirty jokes here).

I am good at deadlifts. I can lift almost 200 lbs now which is pretty cool to be able to say you can left your own weight in something.

I am good at cheering other people on. I'll stay late or run slower just to help The Last Girl. Because I was her (and sometimes I still am) and I know what a difference it makes to have someone rooting for you, pushing you.

So sometimes, even when you can only do three pullups, it helps to focus on the things you are good at. For me, the hardest part was accepting I was good at anything. It took months for me not to feel like I totally sucked at everything. And now, though I still feel like I can and will improve at some things, I'm feeling a lot less like I suck and a lot more like I'm a work in progress.

What are you good at that makes you proud?

It's-All-Fun-And-Games-Till-You-Lose-An-Eye Crockpot Chili

2010-10-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

This is one of a series of recipes I'm moving over here from my pre-primal (now defunct) cooking site before the hosting runs out so they may seem a bit dated. I'll be making adjustments or edits in order to keep the recipe primal.

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At one point in life, I was asinine enough to touch my eye after making chili. It was an early Sunday morning years ago before children, where sleeping was, you know, something we did. Mike was sleeping and I got up early to start the chili. I had finished up, and I DID wash my hands. I had an itch and didn't think anything of it, so I itched it. I died. The pain was so much that it clamped my eye shut, and I wear contacts and knew I had to get it out. I ran upstairs screaming like a banshee that I had maced myself, scaring the living crap out of my then-fiancee. He had to kneel on my chest and pry my eye open to peel out my contact lens. I kept yelling something about milk. I remembered milk helped counteract the capsicum in the pepper. I eventually rinsed it out, and put a milk-soaked cloth on it until it calmed down. We laugh at the story now, but man, that really really really sucked.

So learn from me and use gloves when chopping up peppers. Then clean up with the gloves on, washing down the surfaces, making sure all seeds and garbage are thrown away, THEN take them off and still wash your hands well. You can never be too careful.

This is a very chunky type chili, hearty, with lots of fresh ingredients. It does take some prep time, so I wouldn't put it in the easy-peasy category, but it definitely is not difficult.

My local store carries 85/15 grassfed specific to making chili - it has a thicker ground, so there are hearty pieces and chunks instead of tiny ground meat. I use one package of this and one package of lean (90% or 93%) to counteract the fattiness of the other. If your store does not have "chili" ground beef and you like the bigger chunks, you can get 85% grassfed burgers (about four) and cut them into chunks, sized to your preference. I've done both before and it's worked great each time. You can also use ground turkey meat for this recipe if you prefer.

Also, you will be buying whole peppers but only using 1/4 to 1/2 of each. I recommend chopping them all up, and what you don't use, put in a bowl/bag and freeze for next time so you can save yourself the chopping.

As for the spice, if you want it decently spicy keep the seeds and the ribs (the white edges inside the peppers) for one jalapeño. I find the spice of one whole jalapeño to be the perfect amount. It will bite, but in a good way. Extra spice (crazy fools)--use two. Less spice--remove the ribs and seeds completely and only add in a few seeds, pieces of ribs, or none at all.

See here for pictures/info on all types of peppers.

Ingredients:
2 lbs ground beef (split up into your choice or all one kind)
1 24 oz can diced tomatoes (unflavored)
2 cups beef broth
1 small onion, chopped
1/4 c. of the following fresh peppers, chopped:
-long green pepper
-red bell
-poblano
2 jalapenos, chopped (ribs/seeds added depends on your tastes)
2 tbsp. chopped parsley (can use for garnish later as well)
1 can red beans (optional)
1-2 c. pureed squash (for thickening)

Spices
1 tbsp. cumin
1 tbsp. chili powder
1 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1 1/2 tsp. onion pweder
1 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. salt

OR

2 pkgs. Ortega Chili Mix (Note: this is not cheating. It's all the same stuff as above in one package and makes life much easier)

For display/serving:
-small sourdough bread(s)
-cheddar cheese
-sour cream
-scallions/sweet onions

Directions:
Set crock pot for 8 hours. Put meat in bottom of crock pot first. Break it up. Then add the diced tomatoes, broth, and all the ingredients but the spices. I like to let the veggies meld and soften on their own before adding the spice.

It will look like this:

Cover and let sit. In about an hour, once the meat has had a good chance to cook, stir the pot. Let cook for an additional 3 hours. About that time, it will look like this:

Add in the spices (or the 2 pkgs. of chili mix - my choice most of the time). Let cook for an additional 2 hours. It will look like this:

Add your choice of thickener. Cook for the final hour to thicken. The final chili will look similar to this:

Top with shredded cheddar, finely diced onions, and sour cream.

Sweet and Savory Morroccan Beef Stew

2010-10-11T14:47:00.000-07:00

This is one of a series of recipes I'm moving over here from my pre-primal (now defunct) cooking site before the hosting runs out so they may seem a bit dated. I'll be making adjustments or edits in order to keep the recipe primal (in this case, eliminate noodles and sub spaghetti squash or riced cauliflower).

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You know what's awesome on a crisp autumn day? Stew. Steaming fresh from the crockpot.

See the steam? Yum! Sub Spaghetti Squash or Riced Cauliflower for the Noodles Pictured.

I saw this recipe in Eating Well magazine but it was not a crock pot recipe. I however, want to make out with mine so I try and find every excuse to use it. I make stews often but never thought of doing this kind of thing - mixing sweet and savory - but I love sauerbraten so I thought the flavor pairings of the sage and thyme and cherries would be similar. It was awesome, easy, and delicious.

(As an aside, my personal Hell would have me cutting and peeling butternut squash for all eternity. After today's debacle with my boning knife, I hereby declare that unless I plan on roasting the thing in halves, I will buy the already chopped squash from now on. My sanity is just not worth it.)

This will make a giant pot of stew, enough for 4-6 people.

What you need:

-bottom round roast, around 2 pounds, cubed
-medium butternut squash
-32 oz beef broth
-2 large shallots, thinly sliced
-canola oil
-1 c. dried cherries
-2 tsp dried rubbed sage
-4 tsp dried thyme
-salt & pepper to taste

What you do:

1) Brown the meat briefly (you're not cooking it at this point, just a quick sear) in a pot with 2 tbsp canola oil.

2) Add meat to crock pot with 32 ounces beef broth, leaving oil and meat juices in pot

3) Toss the shallots and dried spices into the pot and cook on low for 2 minutes, adding more oil if necessary, and until the shallots are translucent.

4) Add shallots and spices into crock pot. Set on low for 6 hours.

5) Two hours in, add in cubed squash and cherries

6) Five hours in, you need to thicken your stew. See, it's too watery:

You can use an arrowroot slurry or, easier and healthier: use 1-2 c. pureed squash or canned pumpkin.

7) Cook another hour to fully thicken and serve!

Sub noodles!

Pumkin Cauliflower Soup

2010-10-11T14:35:00.000-07:00

This is one of a series of recipes I'm moving over here from my pre-primal (now defunct) cooking site before the hosting runs out so they may seem a bit dated. I'll be making adjustments or edits in order to keep the recipe primal (for instance, in this case, all I had to do was eliminate the croutons)

So, hold on to your RSS feeds; there's some recipes a'comin!

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Pumpkin Cauliflower Soup

Obviously, the croutons will be left out for us non-bread eaters

This is the inspiration for this recipe:

My daughter loves this book and we read it every night. The other night she asked me if we could make pumpkin soup, and since I couldn't think of a good reason why not, I said sure. I thought for a few days about how I would make this soup and then bought the ingredients on my last shopping trip.

What you need:

Soup
1/2 tsp allspice
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/2 stick of butter
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup diced onion
3 cups chopped cauliflower
3/4 tsp rubbed sage
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp herbs de province
1/2 tsp dried mustard
4 cups chicken broth or vegetable stock (5 if you like it thinner)
3 cups of whole milk (4 if you like it thinner) I think coconut milk would be great in this too.
1 large can (29 oz) of pumpkin

What you do:
1) Saute the onion, celery, and chopped cauliflower in the 1/2 stick butter until soft.
2) Add in thyme, sage, herbs de province, ground mustard and salt
3) Simmer for 10-15 minutes on LOW stirring often.

4) Add in the chicken/vegetable broth
6) Simmer for another 10 minutes.
7) Add in the canned pumpkin, all spice, and cinnamon. Simmer another 10 minutes.

8) Add in the milk and then blend using an immersion blender. (Worst case, if you don't have one of these, you can blend the soup in batches)

9) Simmer for another 10 minutes or so to let the flavors meld.

(Sorry the pictures suck; had camera on wrong setting)

Spicy Bacon Guacamole Dip

2010-10-10T10:12:00.000-07:00

A few things came together this weekend to make a perfect storm of Needing To Be In The Kitchen and Come Up With Something New. 1) My friend Rougie came to visit and she's as big of a cook as I am so I was stoked to get busy with her in the kitchen. 2) We were stopping by one of Mike's coworker's housewarming party and I never go anywhere empty handed. 3) I received these from Terra Chips to review:

Don't mind my goofy face. I may h ave had a drink (or three).

I was thrilled to receive these because one thing I do miss a bit since giving up grain is tortilla chips and really didn't have anything other than vegetables to dip in guacamole or salsa. According to the company description, "Terra classic mix of vegetable chips have been seasoned with a piquant blend of tomato, black bean and roasted garlic flavors."

These did not disappoint. Everyone who tried them loved them. The flavor was distinct and delicious but not overpowering like some flavored chips. Let's just say I got them on Friday and there's none left (and it's Sunday morning.)

As soon as I tasted one, I knew I needed to make something to dip them in. And so this dip was born: it's spicy but you can control that level by deciding how much jalapeno ribs and seeds to use. It's like a salsa versus guacamole. Plus, adding bacon makes everything better, right?

We only stayed at the party for an hour or so by by the time we left, the giant bowl of dip was almost gone. So I take that as a testament that it was as delicious as I thought it was.

Spicy Bacon Guacamole Dip

What you need:

4 avocados
4 medium tomatoes
4 jalapenos
1 lb bacon
1/4 c. finely diced red onion
2 tbsp sour cream
2 tbsp mayo
1-2 tsp salsa seasoning (I use this brand but it's just because I'm lazy. You can use dashes of onion powder, cumin, chili powder)
1/4 c. chopped fresh cilantro
1-2 tbsp lime juice

What you do:

Chop and cook bacon till crispy. Separate from fat and drain on paper towel.

Dice tomatoes and avocados into small pieces. And do it with a smile, darnit.

Rougie at her finest!

Remove the ribs and seeds and dice four jalapenos (we used one full w/seeds and ribs and it was quite spicy so balance your tastes from there)

Put all ingredients except mayo and sour cream together and stir up.

Add the sour cream and mayo 1 tbsp at a time and stir, stopping when it's reached a good consistency. It can varery depending on how wet your tomatoes were, how mushy your avocados are, etc.
Taste and use your preferences on spice and flavor to decided if you need salt, more seasoning, etc.
Chill and serve.

Autumn Stuffed Acorn Squash

2010-10-07T17:05:00.000-07:00

I wanted tacos (we use big lettuce leafs for the "shell") so I defrosted some ground beef. But we had no tomatoes. It's the end of the week and we're going out for dinner tomorrow and to a party on Saturday so I won't be doing any major shopping for the house till at least Sunday. Which means I didn't feel like running out to get tomatoes. I scanned the house: what DID I have?

Ground beef, squash, apples...what the hell can I make with that? Well, the answer to that is as follows:

From Stuffed Acorn Squash

This sweet and savory stuffed squash is perfect as a full meal served with some green veggies or a light soup or salad. My husband just ate double and called it a day. I'm fairly certain that this would also be just as awesome with cooked chicken breasts, but well, we didn't have any. So if you're anti-beef or just have chicken and squash and don't know what to make, just sub diced cooked chicken breast for the beef.

Autumn-Stuffed Acorn Squash

From Stuffed Acorn Squash

What you need:

1 large or 2 medium acorn squash (I had one reeaaaally big one and I still had some "stuffing" left, so I think its best to use 2 squashes)
1 lb ground beef
1/4 c. chopped onion
1 tsp minced garlic
1 c. diced apples
1/3 c. dried cranberries
1/3 c. chopped walnuts
1 tsp fresh rosemary, finely chopped
1 tsp dried rubbed sage
2 tbsp parmesan cheese
1/4 tsp allspice
2 tbsp honey
salt to taste

What you do:

Slice the squash in half, scoop out the seeds and bake at 350 for 30 minutes or so until tender. Cook earlier in the day if possible. Or pop in the fridge since the squash needs to be cooled to be handled.

From Stuffed Acorn Squash

Scoop out flesh and place in large bowl and set aside.

From Stuffed Acorn Squash

In a saucepan, saute the onion, garlic, rosemary, and sage in olive oil until onions are translucent.

From Stuffed Acorn Squash

Add in meat and cook through.
Add meat mixture, apples, cranberries, walnuts, cheese, honey, and allspice to the squash and mix.
Stuff mixture back in hollowed-out squash shells.

From Stuffed Acorn Squash

Add a few pats of butter to the top and bake at 350 for 30 minute or so or until the apples are soft.

From Stuffed Acorn Squash

Serve as a side (think in lieu stuffing) or as a main dish.

From Stuffed Acorn Squash

Last but not least

2010-10-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

Five months ago, I was 230 pounds. I had moved halfway across the country from everyone and everything I knew. I was transitioning into my role of working full-time at home. I was unhappy with how much of my hard work I had undone by giving into the stress eating of the situation. The move, real estate issues, all of it, compounded to a person who was eating fried chicken over the sink at 10 pm in a kitchen full of boxes washing it down with my 6th beer.

Yesterday, I woke up, put on my too-big workout clothes (anyone wanna donate me size L workout clothes?) and went to Crossfit in the bleary haze of early dawn in October.

And almost as usual, I came in last for the workout. But I did it. I ran a whole mile, rowed 2000m (around 1.3 miles) and then ran another mile. I ran the whole thing. Everyone who finished before me waited for me and cheered me on that last hill, knowing this was my first time running this far straight. It was a great feeling.

So ya know what? I'm okay with being last because I'm still beating everyone else who isn't doing anything.

More importantly, I'm beating this chick right the frick out of me.

Yes, that was me on the right in 2000, at around 300-310 pounds.

Click to enlarge

That may be my name last, but I'm certainly not going to be last forever.

And I'm never going to feel least.

Wednesday Woes

2010-10-06T08:22:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling particular whiny this week. So, I've decided to let it all out. I will encourage you to do the same. I mean, it's Wednesday. Not shitty enough to be Monday, but bad enough not to be Friday. Kind of like the drunk ass third cousin at a wedding: innocuous, but annoying.

My team (Miami Dolphins) where beaten to a bloody pulp on Monday night.Like, they didn't just lose. They were PWNED.
My mother made these delicious homemade pumpkin whoopie pies with orange cream filling and I had one bite just to taste them and now I'm dreaming about them in inappropriate ways. Normally, I have no issue staying away from the sweets and baked goods, but there were delicious on a level with sin. I made my daughter eat the last piece this morning before she left for preschool so I wouldn't have a showdown with it all day.
The ONE drink (a dirty martini because it's my favorite drink and I rationalizes that the olive juice had HEALTH BENEFITS) I had during that above-mentioned football debacle stalled my weight loss for 3 days. Still, I am 4 lbs down from last Wednesday so I'm happy with that.
I fell on a run last week and punched some skin between the tops of my Vibrams and it's still sore and scabby and gross and it's annoying.
I miss cereal. I know that's a weird thing to miss but there it is. Useless grain and sugar in a bowl with milk sitting on the couch watching morning cartoons. Anyone have a grain-free cheerio recipe? Ha.
Work is tough right now. People are popping out babies left and right at my office (drawback to hiring a ton of young women all at once right out of college five or six years ago) so when they leave, everyone has to take on their work until they come back. Less people + Same work = CORPORATE AMERICA BIITCHES!
Despite losing almost 30 pounds since I've moved out here in May, I am still in the same size pants. They fit better - and are almost loose - but COME ON. Die, size 16s, die!!!
Though I can run much longer now, I'm still slow and this morning's WOD at Crossfit was this: Run 1 mile, Row 2000m (1.3 mi), Run 1 mile for time. It took me 34 minutes. I was the last one by 4 minutes. Which means I had to run on a dark woodsy trial at 6:30 am alone. As I completed the second loop I noticed a giant pile of blood, half dried, likely from an animal overnight on the middle of the trail din the woods. Of course, this conjured up Crossfitter Killed and Maimed by Trail Monster And/Or Giant Deer. I started to run faster but then logic took over and realized I'd have a much better chance of fighting Trail Monster if I saved some energy. (yes, people, this is how my brain works on runs.)
After two weeks of no complains of pain with the Vibrams, my left heel is starting to hurt. I'm wondering if it's plantar fasciitis again - something I dealt with back in my college days when I was super heavy. Any ideas?

Ok, your turn. Whine away! What's been eating you this week? Get it out!

Crockpot Beef Bean and Cabbage Soup

2010-10-04T17:31:00.000-07:00

Ok so I know some people who eat primally shun legumes. There's some compelling arguments why, but for me, I think I'd dig myself a shallow grave and weep bean-free tears until I mummified myself if I could never have peanut butter again. I tolerate them well and can't deny the nutritional impact some legumes deliver.

That being said, they can pack a wallop of a carbohydrate punch in their bean form so I eat them sparingly when I'm trying to actively lose weight and only put them in recipes I think truly benefit from their texture and flavor. In this case, since I didn't want to put traditional noodles or rice in the soup so I opted for some pink pinto beans. The end result was awesome with the beef and cabbage.

I had bought some soup bones from the farmer's market ($1.50 per bone) and made homemade organic stock. So much cheaper and better tasting than store bought stock. This recipe calls for a crockpot but you can use a large soup pot without issue.

Beef, Bean, and Cabbage Soup
What you need:

1/2 head cabbage sliced
4-6 medium carrots, peeled and diced
1 small yellow onion, chopped
1/2 bunch celery chopped, top leaves included (these have the best celery flavor!!)
1 clove garlic
1- 1/2 lbs of stew meat
1 can of beans of your choice (optional)
3 qts beef stock, plus 1 cup
1 tsp dried rubbed sage
1 tsp dried thyme
2 tsp parsley
1 bay leaf
3 tbsp butter

What you do:

Put the cabbage, butter and 1 c. beef stock in the crockpot on high. Let cook to softness for around an hour.
Then, saute the top leaves of the celery along with 2 tbsp chopped onion, garlic, sage, thyme, and parsley in some butter in a saucepan. Cook on medium until soft.
Add this mixture, the rest of the stock and the chopped carrots and celery into the crockpot.

At this point, you can sear your meat. I use a cast iron skillet for this and it's perfect. Your meat should be room temperature, not super cold. This is because it will lower the temp of the pan if too cold and not create that searing effect you want. You also don't want to do all of your meat at once; do them in batched. Sear about 30 seconds per side just to get a browning on the meat. You don't need to worry about cooking it through because it's going in the pot.

Once all your meat is seared, add it to the pot. Cook 4-6 hours.
If you choose to add the beans, add them into the pot right before serving. They don't need to cook, just be warmed up. Cooking them too long will cause them to fall apart.
The meat comes out tender and delicious.
Perfect for a fall day!

Budging

2010-10-04T09:23:00.000-07:00

I didn't drink all weekend and if we're being frank, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I missed my cocktails with Mike as we watching TV after a long week. And I missed the beer in my hand was we watched the mothergoatlicking Jets beat Buffalo. But in not drinking, I got in two extra workouts this weekend in the form of some short runs.

Normally, I'm too dehydrated from a few drinks and use the weekends as rest time from Crossfit. But I felt good enough to do some short jogs and get my ass moving a bit.

I also tried to up my calories to my higher range this weekend since I was home and had the time to cook and prepare different things. I got near 1500 both days and tried to get the extra calories in the forms of nutrient dense foods, like beef and bacon and extra greens.

On Saturday, I made this: BCBC (Bacon Carrot Beef and Collards) Stirfy..It looked so weird I had to try it so I picked up some greens at the farmer's market and it was delicious and kept me full VERY long. We also had grass-fed steak from a local organic farmer and some squash.

Yesterday, I ate a late brunch of eggs and bacon after a 2.5 mile run and then had an Elvis Burger for dinner. I did cave against my own rules a bit (removing/lowering nuts or nut baked products) and whipped up a quick batch of my almond flour biscuits to use as hamburger buns. Normally, I let my burgers go naked, but an Elvis burger needs to be contained.

The scale this morning was down 4 lbs from last week. So yay. It's working. And I'm happy to see some progress and hopefully I've hit a new low. I have a girlfriend coming into town this week and though I will try and stay on track with eating, I know I will be taking in some extra calories with drinking a bit so my hope is to maybe lose another pound during the week and maintain that lose over the weekend.

Here are my food logs for the weekend. How was your weekend? Make any good eats? Get in any great workouts? Progress? Dish, people.

Vibram Updated: Two weeks out

2010-10-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

I've been wearing the Vibrams exclusively to Crossfit to lift and run just last week, I was able to run my first unbroken mile ever. Granted, it took me over 11 minutes, but still. I did it.

And what surprised me more than anything was that I didn't hate it. I felt good and strong. I felt like I could have kept going. My feet didn't hurt and I didn't hate and curse every step. My shins and hip flexor didn't hurt the next day. Could running actually be not so awful? I mean, I HATE running. HATE. Or do it?

So I decided to start running a bit on my Crossfit rest days. (Who needs real rest?) The first night I left, I was able to run 1.83 miles, but it was broken up by me FALLING on a main road. Yeah, that was fun. I had to walk of the shock and assess injuries and once it was clear I was fine, I ran the rest of the way back.

Today I decided to drive to a local botanical garden and run the inner loop as many times as I could. I made it four laps in around 31 minutes, stopping only for a sip of water here and there. When I got home, I logged the run into mapmyrun.com and found out that each loop was around .6 miles, making the whole run around 2.4 miles, although somehow, when I clicked 4 loops on mapmyrun, it told me it was 2.51. Not sure who is wrong here.

Anyway, the whole point is this. If you would have told me six months ago that I would not only be in shape enough to run two and a half unbroken miles let alone enjoy it, I would have laughed. But here I am. Crossfit has gotten me into so much better shape than I have ever been in and the Vibrams really make running an entirely different experience.

I just signed up for a 5K Monster Mud Dash.

I don't even know who I am anymore.

On the go

2010-10-02T06:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we all got up together. Normally I'm walking out the door to Crossfit while Mike and the kids are still sleeping and walking back in when they're just getting up. But because I was sore like, everywhere, I decided to take a rest day. Although the day ended up anything but restful.

It was an enjoyable day for the most part though, just a bit harried.

Charlotte's preschool was closed for some in-house conference thing so I had her home with me. So I decided to run some errands with her and then my mother took her and I shopping for her fall clothes. We left the house at 9 and got mommy-daughter pedis (see how cute she is?)

Then we went grocery shopping. I came home, unloaded the groceries, made her lunch and me a smoothie since I hadn't eaten breakfast and went back out with my mom for the afternoon. We came home with just enough time to get my son from his dayhome and then I had to take them both home, make them dinner and unpack all the new clothes which of course started an entire re-do of my daughter's clothes, putting away summer stuff, cleaning out drawers, etc.

It was 6 pm before I realized I hadn't eaten anything but that smoothie and a few handfuls of grapes and some strawberries.

So I sat down and had a piece of my leftover Bacon and Spinach Crustless Quiche (which, yes, totally reheats great!), a couple pieces of cheese, and some cucumbers and homemade spinach dip.

I put it in my fatsecret.com account and 766 calories. Um, WTF? How the hell was I going to get 500 calories after 6 pm?

Not to mention, when Mike got home around 6:45, I ran out for a quick run and completed 1.83 miles in my Vibrams in 21:22. Which is a 10:45 mile, a pace I've never ever EVER been able to have, let alone keep up for almost 2 miles. It would have been a faster time, but I totally wiped out. The good thing about running on a main road during dusk where people can see you so no Boogey man comes for you is that those same people also see you fall flat on your face.

I was fine, got back up, walked a bit assessing injuries (sore left ankle, scraped knee, elbow and palm, bloody foot) and then ran the rest of the way.

I came home, showered and had an apple and a big glob of peanut butter trying to get some extra good calories and protein in before bed.

So clearly, my nutritional goals were not met yesterday. I should have been more prepared for a long day out of the house. Usually I grab a handful of nuts or a big hunk of cheese and that works, but since I've been trying to cut those down, I skipped them yesterday.

What do you do when you're on the run? I'm thinking of making some primal energy bars with dried fruit and nuts and seeds to keep on hand to grab during days like this.

Do you grab snacks or do you just use that time to fast as long as you feel good and energy levels are high?

Here's the pathetic food diary from yesterday:

I had to eat peanut butter at 9 pm

2010-10-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

Here's my food log from yesterday.

I thought I was on track by lunch to hit the 1250-1500 calorie range I was aiming for (god, I HATE counting) by by dinner I realized I was still shy. So I ate a stalk of celery and a big ol' globful of peanut butter in order to get me close to 1400.

The good news? It seems to be working. The scale finally budged. For one thing, knowing I'm going to show you guys what I eat is humbling and I try and make better choices and stick with the dairy/nut reduction. For another, I do think lowering the dairy and sticking to a caloric deficiency has made an impact. Then again, it has only been a couple of days and I want to make sure that this is just not another dip in the plateua - that it sticks.

Per some suggestions I tried to get more protein in and therefore added a whey protein smoothie (made with coconut and almond milk and OMG SO GOOD) and ate two cans of tuna for lunch instead of one.

It's become apparent that I can eat clean and healthy and maintain weight without blinking but in order to lose, I do have to be more cognizant of creating a caloric deficiency. Those almond butter/flour treats - while still healthy - do pack a caloric punch.

So far so good. Although as I type this, it's 4 pm and the only thing I had was a smoothie. It's been an insanely busy day and I've literally only been home for 20 minutes since 9 am running errands. I need to make some healthy energy bars to keep in my purse or something.

Bacon and Spinach Crustless Quiche with Caramelized Onions

2010-10-01T07:01:00.000-07:00

Some people were telling me I wasn't getting enough fat. Some people were telling me I wasn't getting enough protein I also needed to lower calories. How can I fix all three? Quiche! With BACON! This is ridiculously easy, save for the 742 hours it takes to caramelize the onions.

Bacon and Spinach Crustless Quiche with Caramelized Onions
What you need:

12 eggs
splash of cream
4 oz Swiss cheese, grated or cut into small squares
1/2 lb bacon, diced into small pieces
1 medium onion, diced
1 bag frozen chopped spinach
2 tbsp butter
1 tbsp Parmesan cheese
pepper

What you do:

In one skillet, melt the butter and add the onions. Cook on low for literally like 20 minutes until the onions start turning brown and caramelizing, like this:

In another skillet, cook the bacon pieces until crispy. Put on paper towel and drain. Save the bacon grease.

In the skillet with the onions, add in the frozen spinach and approximately 1 tbsp of the bacon grease.

Cook and stir until spinach cooked all the way through.
In a large bowl, beat the eggs with a splash of cream.
In a baking dish, pour in the spinach/onion mixture, then pour the egg over the top.
Add in the Swiss cheese and stir a bit.
Top with the cooked bacon, sprinkle some Parmesan and black pepper

Bake in over at 350 for 20 mins or so until eggs are cooked through.
Oooey, gooey, protein and fat!!

I'm going to try and provide the nutritional facts for most of my recipes from now on. This recipe is based on six servings so one serving size is shown below. Is this helpful?

A little experiment

2010-09-30T06:56:00.000-07:00

Since I'm stuck at this plateau and you guys offered such great suggestions, I've decided to implement a few things: 1) cut down dairy to near elimination (I'll likely still have cream in my coffee). 2) cut out booze for a week or two. (this one will hurt.) 3) cut down fruit but not eliminate. 3) count calories.

I HATE counting calories. I had to quit WW at one point for many reasons but one was the counting made me insane. NUTS, I tell ya. Like, I'd look at a shoe and be like, "Hmm. Rubber = fiber? I can eat this whole shoe for only TWO POINTS!" But you're all right. Maybe the nuts/nut flours, dairy, and fruit were adding up without me even knowing it. Sure, it's an amazing way of eating and I'm maintaining without even trying but I don't want to maintain right now, I want to lose.

I use fatsecret.com instead of fitday.com. I know a lot of people love fitday but I don't. I tried it and don't like the layout, I don't like there's no recipe function and the foods all go in one big pile instead of by meal. I also use this recipe calculator because it's SO easy.

So, what I decided to do was commit to logging my food for the next week or so and post it here, and let you guys pick at me. But be nice, cause I'm from Jersey and I'll cutchoo.

I'll also post my daily workout. Maybe many eyes make light work and we can find room for improvement?

If nothing else, maybe the accountability will in and of itself help.

First I went here and found my resting metabolic rate, which I still don't understand because it doesn't take into account lifestyle activities. Anyway, it said mine was 1721. Which means I need to create a caloric deficiency under that number to lose.

Yesterday I plugged in what I had eaten all day after consciously trying to cut down dairy, fruit, and nuts and I came up with just under 1100 calories. Um, wow. Clearly the things I'm trying to eliminate were taking up a lot of calories!! And I'm thinking that because I workout so hard, I definitely need more than 1100. I'm aiming for 1250-1500 for now and seeing how that works.

Ok, here was yesterday's food log (click to enlarge):

And my workout of the day yesterday was: (I linked the exercises for those who don't speak Crossfit)
Three rounds of:
Row 750 m
21 75-lb back squats
30 box dips

So I think I need a bit more calories - what do you suggest?

Before and After Pics: 15 weeks

2010-09-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

Even though I am complaining of a plateau in my previous post, at least I take these every few weeks to show me that I AM doing something right.

This is 15 weeks of Crossfit and "primal" eating.

In the mud

2010-09-29T07:50:00.000-07:00

It seems to be a pattern for me: Lose a few pounds at once, hit a plateau for weeks, drop a few, plateua, etc.

I wrote about it here and how I was stuck at ONE friggen number for what seemed like an eternity. And though I had no intention of changing the way I was eating, it was still frustrating to not see the scale move. I knew I was healthier, I knew I felt better, I just had to have faith it would eventually move. And it did.

Now I'm stuck again. Since I wrote that last post on August 12, my body WILL NOT move from it's current weight of 207. Some days it's 206.8, some days it's 207.4. So for SIX weeks, I've been at the same weight, despite eating very clean and quite literally working my ass up. (I'd say "working my ass off," but my ass isn't going anywhere but firm and awesome, so I like that better.)

It's infuriating.

Yes, I work out intensely at Crossfit 4-5 times a week. Yes, I know I am building muscle while losing some fat. I KNOW. I get it.

Doesn't seem to make it suck any less. Especially when I am in this Fatbet Challenge where I will LOSE MONEY if I do not hit my goal, which I modestly set at 195 knowing it would be harder for me to lost that 12 pounds in 90 days given my current record.averaging 3-4 lbs a month.

My 30th birthday is also on November 5th and I'd really like to give myself the gift of being under 200 pounds, a number I haven't seen since before I got pregnant with my daughter over 5 years ago.

I also realize I am built large and don't look 207 lbs, but the reality is that I AM. And though I may never be "skinny," especially with the intense weight lifting I do, I have set realistic goals: 199 by Oct 31, 195 by November 31, 180 by our first child-free real vacation in Mexico in May (can I get a WHUTWHUT!).

Anyway, the thing that sucks is that I wonder what I could change - what I'm not already doing right?

Here's my thinking to get passed this plataeu:
1) Cut out the booze. Even though I only have 4-5 drinks on the weekend, maybe it's hindering.
2) Cut out dairy. I love it and it will never be permanent but maybe it will shake things up for a few weeks. I suppose I could always use coconut or almond milk in my coffee because if I'm being frank, MOMMA NEEDS COFFEE.
3) Cut out fruit. Again, this will be hard because I love fruit and it is GOOD for you (well, the nutrionally dense fruits I eat are - apples, berries, etc.) but I suppose I can do anything.

What do you do when you hit a plateau? Any advice?

Oven Crispy Chicken Cordon Bleu

2010-09-28T06:05:00.000-07:00

This is probably one of the easiest recipes to make when you're just sitting there staring at your chicken breasts wondering what the hell you're going to do tonight. We use Applegate farms Nitrate/Antibiotic/Hormone-Free sliced ham that we can find in our deli at Target. But Hormel has been making a "free" version too that I've seen in most supermarkets.

I also use mayo as my go-to coating for many recipes. For me, it's better than just eggs because I like the flavor the mayo lends without having to add a ton of stuff to the coating - the slight tang of the vinegar and you never need to add salt. That being said, feel free to use a plain egg wash.

I also used crushed pork rinds for the coating. If you would have told me six months ago that I'd be routinely using pork rinds in my cooking I would have laughed dead in your face. But, there it is. They work great as a binder, they're all natural, and they crisp up delightfully in the oven making an excellent coating for this recipe.

Oven Crispy Chicken Cordon Bleu

What you need:

4 chicken breasts
8 slices swiss cheese
8 slices deli-sliced ham
2 cups crushed pork rinds
2 tbsp mayo or egg wash
toothpicks

What you do:

Set up a little assemply line. Realize that anything not used will have to be trash since your raw-chickened hands will touch it so only put out as much as you need and put the rest away.

Using a kitchen mallet, pound the chicken until it's 1/2-inch thick
Layer the swiss cheese and ham on the chicken and roll up tightly. The tighter you get it, the less chance you have of your swiss cheese leaking out.
Hold in place with toothpicks.

Coat in mayo and roll in crushed pork rinds.

Put in baking dish and bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes or until internal temp reaches 165.

Slice and enjoy. I like to dip mine in dijon mustard!