Princess and the Peanut, NY

NYC Marathon

2012-11-04T13:36:00.002-05:00

IM BAAAAAACK!!!!!!!

Ok, so this was drawn before the Marathon was cancelled.... but I drew it so you have to look at it!

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David Carr

2012-09-21T09:51:00.000-04:00

Friday Fun Fact # 28

Giants back-up Quarterback David Carr is....

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...not too hard on the eyes.

Also, he has played on four teams in his NFL career. This is his second time playing for the Giants.

Sorry, ladies, I hear he's married.

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Coke

2012-09-07T09:33:00.002-04:00

Fun Fact Friday # 27

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Coca Cola would be GREEN without artificial coloring.

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Hitchcock

2012-08-31T10:29:00.003-04:00

Fun Fact # 27

Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

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Only In Arizona....

2012-08-28T16:12:00.000-04:00

I'm pregnant. WITHOUT HAVING HAD ANY SEX! That's right. I'm pregnant. No wait, I think I'm only pregnant if I conceive in two weeks, so I won't know I'm currently pregnant until I actually get pregnant, because two weeks before non-conception I can't possibly have been pregnant. It is only two weeks before conception I have conceived. Are we now assuming that menstruating women are now pregnant 50% of their lives...but only in Arizona.

The newest form of abortion (in Arizona)
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If this is not an argument against....shit, there are so many things this makes one want to argue against how can I possibly choose?! Let's argue against stupidity. Arizona as a State. Other stuff....

Just because you make something a law does not make it true. If I'm "pregnant" I'm considering ways to abort...my first step will be to use a condom. If my pregnancy survives a rubber, we'll see what my next step is. Luckily it is my right to choose.

Wait...does this mean abstinence is the equivalent of an abortion too? Is this a possible argument for Pro Choicers?

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E. P. T.

2012-08-28T15:05:00.002-04:00

- Not Pregnant....
-Take a couple steps south!

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Commando

2012-08-24T09:59:00.000-04:00

Fun Fact # 26

1. I'm 25.
2. I'm the proud new owner of a pack of day of the week underwear (long story).
3. According to Joe [Boxer], Saturday is officially commando day!

Not this kind of Commando! Though props on the puppy, that is freaking adorable. [Credit]

This KIND of Commando!

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Update: Upon closer inspection, ie wearing the aforementioned underwear, I was wrong. Saturday and Sunday are actually the same pair, so really Joe is saying don't change your underwear on the weekends. ...I'd rather go Commando.

Did I Say Voting?

2012-08-20T14:58:00.000-04:00

--That ass, Romney's Money...
--You're voting by butt?
--Huh?

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Cops

2012-08-17T09:34:00.000-04:00

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Friday Fun Fact # 25

Cops carry tampons....

to plug up bullet holes.

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PS Interestingly the image came from an article also involving cops and tampons.

Healthy Living

2012-08-15T10:18:00.002-04:00

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Two things happen to me when I start eating healthy. One, I notice I'm happier and more energetic, which is great. Right now, I want to go for a run, pose nude in a bikini, and just be a happy and annoying human being. Two, however, is I'm hungry. I am always hungry. In order to maintain a healthy eating life style I need to eat five times a day, and wake up in the middle of the night for a snack. I am always hungry. Just eat more you say? No. My metabolism is a beast. The more you feed it the more it wants and when it doesn't get what it wants, it turns against me!

Thus, dear sirs and ma'ams, I have concluded I need a raise, so I can stay happy, while eating every healthy item in my sight line. Or eat healthy meals and snack on as usual.

What happened to that box of cookies?

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The Palace

2012-08-10T09:22:00.000-04:00

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Fun Fact # 24:

Buckingham Palace has an estimated value of $5 Billion dollars.

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therichest.org

Numbers

2012-08-08T09:28:00.001-04:00

This one time, in college... I was sitting in the library working studiously on The Spectator's sudoku puzzle. A guy sat down across from me and was also struggling through the puzzle. As he stood up, he asked for my numbers, so being generous, I gave him my sudoku numbers.

Ten minutes later it occurred to me he was asking for my actual number...to call me.

...in case you were wondering why I am still single.

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Shark

2012-08-06T10:07:00.000-04:00

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Apple a Day

2012-08-03T09:36:00.003-04:00

Fun Fact Friday (cant keep track of the numbers anymore!)

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Apples are more effective than coffee to wake you up in the morning.

I'm not giving up my coffee!

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Shorty McShorty

2012-08-01T09:35:00.002-04:00

Dear Boys (with online profiles),

Women do not lie about their height, we lie about our weight. Please keep this in mind when filling out the pesky little section called height on any dating profile/ choosing your dates. If you must lie, please attempt to date girls who are actually shorter than you, otherwise its clear to the lady in question not only did you lie, but you are insecure..

A couple inches shorter does not bother me. Lots of awesome people are vertically challenged. Listed at 5'7, maybe 5'6 you could pass the first round of elimination in the many rounds to which I subject a boys profile. That was until I learned my lesson. After a date in which I was shocked how short 5'6 truly is (only to learn later he must not have been more than 5'2) I no longer believe any of you. And because you care, now I do too.

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5'8 is my hard limit (yes, I'm evoking some 50 Shades.) Because I know, 5'8 you are maybe actually 5'8 but the range is wild. 90% of you are much closer to 5'7. This cultural obsession with lying is fine, if you're not going out with someone who is actually 5'8. Use your brains boys.

Thank you.

The Princess and the Peanut.

PS. Peanut is shaking his head at you, too.

Kiss This

2012-07-30T09:43:00.004-04:00

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Guillotine

2012-07-27T09:29:00.002-04:00

Fun Fact Friday #22

Oliver Cromwell was exhumed just so he could be beheaded following the Restoration of 1660.

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Ode To Hair

2012-07-25T10:03:00.000-04:00

Hair is a fickle thing, I've learned. But if you pour enough crap into it sometimes it does what you want it to do. Unless there is a 100% humidity and it is summer in New York. Then all the gel, cream, oils, and clips in the world could not tame a gentle beastly head.

Hair that starts the day looking nice a pretty like this:

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Ends the day looking like this:

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So I end up resembling him:

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Online Dating

2012-07-23T10:21:00.001-04:00

Window Shopping for Men!

-She'll like him, and him...
-NUT!

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Lefty!

2012-07-20T08:58:00.003-04:00

He's cute. I figure
why not?
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Fun Fact # 21:

Apparently, 7% of people are lefties.

HOWEVER, I've recently learned a lot of people define "lefty" as ambidextrous. That is not lefty. I am a lefty. I can barely drink a beer with my right hand, let alone anything else.*

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*I can drink a beer with either hand, only, the right one takes thought.

Snip-Snip

2012-07-18T10:20:00.000-04:00

Germany apparently has an opinion on your penis, boys.
I do, too, but I promise our opinions are very different.

But seriously, I don't believe it can be illegal to circumcise a baby. Regulate, yes. Outlaw, no.

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Let's put religion aside. In my former life as a world class waitress I once overheard an interesting conversation between a group of men. One, Steven, had recently been circumcised. The table demanded an explanation. There is a stigma about un-circumcised penises in the U.S. A lot of women are put off by the lack of snip-snip. Steven's friends wanted to know whether it was that stigma or religion fueling his decision.

"Neither," he said, "my foreskin was too tight so every time I got an erection it caused me pain."

Can you imagine outlawing circumcision, and essentially punishing all men whose girth is too great!? This reason alone should be sufficient argument against an outlawing of this practice.

However, if you need more, outlawing a practice that when done properly, by experienced qualified practitioners causes no harm, will cause religious parents to go to the back alley hack jobs. Think Penny in Dirty Dancing when abortion was illegal. Only this time we are talking about helpless babies and children who don't have a choice in the matter.

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Out Sick

2012-07-17T09:25:00.005-04:00

Out sick. Credit

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Ostriches!

2012-07-13T09:31:00.001-04:00

Fun Fact # 20!

Ostriches stick their head in the sand to look for water.

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What you lookin' at?
What water right behind me?
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Ocean, Lake, POOL

2012-07-11T09:21:00.000-04:00

Longnook in the fall.

I'm an ocean person. I love the way the sand warms you up when you get out of the cold water. I love the strength of the water surrounding me, the horizon and the dunes. I love the sound of the waves, children playing, even adults laughing. I conversely love the solitude of an empty beach. If I have my choice, every time, I will choose the ocean before a pond, and a pond before a pool. However, when it's threatening to be in the high 90's and humid, I have no problem taking whatever I can get. I spent my weekend at the pool.

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The pool proved entertaining. It's a country club pool--over heated to the point it takes no thought to jump in and fails to instantly refresh your over heated, sun melted body. Instead you're forced to languish. I enjoyed sitting on noodles, chatting and attempting to swim some laps (only drowned a little). But ultimately, it was no ocean--just a way to keep cool on a day when the sun was so hot I couldn't hold my kindle to read it (another argument for a printed book over an e-reader).

However, the people watching was fantastic. Beaches have some incredible people watching, but here...at the country club...I was in heaven. One girl spent so much time poolside laying on a chaise lounge enjoying the sun that her front was a deep late summer tan. Her back, well it was sort of not that tan (I believe this is called a JAP tan.) Men walked about the pool with sock tans mid calf. There was a level of "I am awesome" emitted from everyone that made me wonder, "are you really?" And then there was the hot pink one piece.

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Obviously a neon pink bathing suit is going to attract some attention. This woman was in her fifties, and so tan her skin was leathery and hopefully checked for cancer four times a year. It was one of those high cut suits, that pulls attention to the legs (think Pam Anderson, Baywatch). I watched as she climbed out of the pool. Something caught my attention, I expected to see a quick suit fix, a quick slip of the fingers, realigning that which may or may not need fixing ensuring everything is properly covered, and nothing had slid into any crevices or what not. It didn't happen. She walked over to her chaise, and sure enough I was seeing what I thought I saw. For the next hour or so, this woman was standing around in a hot pink high cut one piece bathing suit with her crotch hanging out so her pubic hair was fully visible--her maintained pubic hair, this stuff wasn't growing where she didn't want it growing. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't not look. You don't see that kind of thing at the ocean. The waves are so strong everyone does a quick am-I-covered check.

Then, a kid took a dump in the pool, and the life guards had to close the pool for the rest of the day.

The Princess and the Peanut

Happy 4th

2012-07-09T09:37:00.001-04:00

No matter how old I get, the firework
conversation never changes!
-LOOK!
-WOW!!

The Princess and the Peanut