Princeton Unbuttoned

What I Was REALLY Thinking...

2012-06-06T13:49:00.002-07:00

Wanna know what I was really thinking as I was taping this show with Dr. Ed Buch and his partner Marla Bell, RN from Body Chic in Somerville, NJ as they discussed the latest procedure for women called 'The G-Shot'? Well, once I got passed the embarassment factor and was able to concentrate on their explanation of the G-Shot and what it does physically for women, I began thinking, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, you inject some collagen-type fluid into a woman's...er...nether region and she's suddenly supposed to feel more aroused, enjoy sex and orgasms more and have...ummm...closer quarters down below. Surrrre...all from one shot of God-knows-what into your you-know-where!?" I mean, in theory it sounds like a good concept and it only makes sense that when you inject a product into the walls of a woman's...uhhh...bat cave??...Cockpit??...Garage??...[add your vagina euphemism here]...it will be tighter and help to inspire arousal. But, alas I'll admit, I'm still a Doubting Thomas. But hell, I would love nothing more than to have my doubts squashed and have a woman come (no pun intended...I don't think...) forward and tell me she had the G-Shot procedure and it's rockin' her world more than she ever dreamed possible. So, any takers??? Anyone willing to be my guinea pig, have the procedure done and report back with their results? Anyone? Bueller? Beuller? Well, a girl can only ask... Anyhoo, thanks for tuning into my show. And to catch all my latest and greatest episodes of 'The Kari Adams Show,' local Princeton residents can check their Comcast cable guide for listings or, simply visit my Youtube page at www.youtube.com/princetonelite. Ciao for now!

2012-05-22T15:48:00.001-07:00

This past weekend, I officially got divorced and this is your personal invitation (read WAKE-UP CALL!!) to do so as well! I know what many of you are thinking, that you thought I got divorced several years ago and have been single ever since. Well, this time around I'm proud to say, I just got divorced...again! I know, I know, no need to say it...because I can just hear you now, "But Kari I already AM officially divorced," or, "I can't get divorced if I've never been married!" Nope, doesn't need mentioning because I'm talking about something bigger...and MUCH better. And something we all can permanently estrange ourselves from. Did you know there is actually such a thing as a 'good divorce'? Yup, there is because if you're anything like me, you've housed a nagging, annoying and at times abusive guest in that mind of yours' that has taken up valuable real estate, rent free I might add, for far too long! Not only has this wretched, evil voice who screams at you that you're a big-fat-good-for-nothing-zero-who-will-never-find-love stood in your way and caused you to self-doubt, this bastard has actually fed you a bunch of lies over and over again that you could have sworn was the truth. And that just sucks! No...I say NO MORE. No more allowing this faux confidante to allude you and make you think you are anything less than amazing, valuable, lovable, and the only rockin' being on the planet that makes you oh-so-fabulous you. If you've listened to nothing else I've ever spouted before, hear me now: It is time, today is the day, there is no other time than right here, right NOW - to get divorced from your STORY. He is not serving you. Not only is he lying to you and holding you back, he's bringing you more of what you do not want. And just like with myself, I'm drawing a hard line in the sand with you. Should you decide to take the plunge, sign on the dotted line and divorce your story too, that means D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D; as in, do not go back for nostalgic, long converstations to reminisce of days of yore or late night booty calls. NOPE...you are divorced which means, no going back. Period. This is the best break up I've ever experienced and I hope that you, too, will put a big ol' "The end" at the back of your final chapter as well. Afterall, how can you look forward to your abundant, joyous future if you keep reading past chapters? Good riddance to bad rubish! Happy signing my soon-to-be fellow divorcees!

Old Dogs Can Spring Clean Too!

2012-04-03T14:03:00.001-07:00

Namaste!

This morning as I was picking up my bedroom and realizing how messy it had become, I caught myself embracing an old familliar, nasty negative thought pattern that went something like this, "Kari, you're always going to be messy. You have always been this way and at this point in your life, you always will be! You can't teach an old dog new tricks so just give up already!"

Oh no no no you don't Negative Nancy!! This time I put the Kabosh on this stream of thinking before it completely spiraled out of control and got the better of me as I gently reminded myself these were just old thoughts and stories that no longer needed my investment. The truth is, it is NEVER too late for any of us to change and to improve our current circumstances. As the famous Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu once said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

It is spring; a new season and a time for blossoming and opening up to all of the infinite possiblities life has to offer us. I decided last month that I was going to go beyond choosing better thoughts, meditating and practicing yoga, by embracing the help of an energy healer in aligning my energy meridians and chakras. Yeah, yeah, I know, sounds all treehugger-Koombya-ish but I have to tell you, the results were amazing and proved to me how incredibly powerful our minds' are in effecting our bodies rhythms and functions.

We literally have the power to change anything we want, so make a vow to yourself this spring that you are going to let go of old stories that are holding you back and making you suffer needlessly. Take time this new season to go within and do a little spring clean-up on thoughts that make you feel bad because not only are they not serving you, at some point they will manifest somewhere in your body and you definitely don't want that!

Remember this, you have a purpose here on this beautiful planet and there is nobody else here that can do your job! We need you to be you - so be the best, most phenomenal version of yourself that you can be so that everyone can benefit from all of the wonders that make you exactly who you are! And whenever those old voices start up in their efforts to keep you addicted to them, and they will, tell them, "Thank you for sharing, but I no longer choose to believe you."

Spring has sprung, clocks are ahead and now is your time, as well, to move forward into the unknown and for you to unveil all of the incredible moments and opportunities that await you. Part of the fun is in the unknowing and being witness to the incredible power we have to create the world as we want it!

What does this letter have to do with dating, relationships and how to meet the love of your life, you ask? What doesn't it have to do with it?

Peace out loved ones!

The Key is Not Outside!

2012-03-30T06:12:00.003-07:00

I picked up a really good book the other day by one of my favorite author's Jack Canfield. In it he shares a sobering story:

There was a man who is out walking one night and comes upon another man down on his knees looking for something under a streetlamp. The passerby inquires asto what the other man is looking for. He answers the he is looking for his lost key. The passerby offers to help and gets down on his knees and helps him search for the key. After an hour of fruitless searching, he says, "We've looked everywhere for it and we haven't found it. Are you sure that you lost it here?"

The other man replies, "No, I lost it in my house, but there is more light out here under the streetlamp."

This hit me like a ton of bricks and made me realize that when life circumstances aren't going my way or I'm not receiving the results I want, its time to take a good look in the mirror and find out what it is I'm doing that is causing undesirable results. Afterall, the answers aren't outside of myself, they only lie within.

If you aren't in a relationship with the love of your life, is it possible there is something you are doing that is the cause of this outcome? Are you working too much and not allowing space in your life for a mate? Is your negative attitude about dating hindering you and holding you back from meeting someone new? Are you making excuses about not getting out more and meeting new people? Are you being really truthful with yourself when you say you want a serious relationship when in actuality, you really don't?

It's so easy to point the finger at someone else and say that its their fault life is the way it is for us, but where does that action really get us? Blame and excuses just beget more blame and excuses. I'm sure we can all take an honest look at some of our past relationships and see how it is that our behavior drew that person into our lives', for better or for worse. There was most likely an attitude or thought pattern we had that attracted that person to us and yet, when the relationship didn't work out and we were hurt as a result, we blamed the other person. When in actuality, we were (and are) the ones 100% responsible for the current circumstances of our lives' whether we wanted them or not.

So, with Jack's little anecdote in mind, if your dating life needs some resurrecting, its time to get inside and do a little Spring cleaning! Clear up the clutter of those old thoughts that are no longer serving you, dust off the dancing shoes, and clean up the negative attitude that's keeping Mr./Ms. Right at bay!

Sending you all spring wishes, sunshine kisses and taking absolutely no responsibility for your thoughts on this,

Kari

After This Blog...I'm Doomed!

2012-03-13T07:09:00.001-07:00

I can't believe as a matchmaker I'm about to totally sell out, but I have to get this off my chest. After interviewing two women on my show who met their current husband's online, I have to tell you, they didn't seem any happier now that they found their life partner's than most single people I know.

In fact, when I asked author Jane Coloccia who wrote the riveting, "Confessions of an Online Dating Addict" if she had any regrets during her eight year span of online dating, she said, "I wish I had appreciated being single more." She went on to say that that's not to say she would give up her husband or ever want to go back to being single, but she admitted there are some great things about being unattached that us single folks tend to overlook. "I now have to sleep next to someone who snores every night. You know, it's things like a peaceful night's sleep that you don't appreciate until you don't get them anymore!"

I tell people this all the time; there are plusses and minuses to both sides of the equation, being attached versus single, and the best way to get what you are wanting is to be grateful for what you have. Appreciate that you can leave a mess in the sink before going to bed and no one is there to nag you to clean it up. Be happy that you can completely hog up all the the bathroom space with your plethora of toiletries, make-up, perfumes and gadgets, with no one to chastise you or make you feel like the most self-absorbed person on the face of the planet. Shout out from the rooftops, "Woo hoo! There's a 3 part, 2 hour long each, documentary called "The Revelation of the Great Pyramids" and I'm going to drink beer, belch out loud and watch each and every one of them with no apologies!"

Speaking of apologies...be thrilled you aren't constantly in the proverbial doghouse having to beg your mate to forgive you for accidentally leaving the toilet seat up or for haphazardly throwing your sweaty gym clothes along the bedroom floor. Or for not paying attention to them when they told you about how their boss yelled at them in front of the whole marketing team today as you were fastidiously trying to get an important email sent.

What the Sam Hell am I doing? I'm supposed to be theorizing on all of the fabulously amazing reasons why you should be coupled up with someone and why hiring me to find them would be the best money you ever spent? Well, I suppose the jig is up...while I might be a pretty awesome matchmaker, apparently I suck as a businesswoman.

Are You a Jumper or An Abandoner?

2012-02-24T14:51:00.003-08:00

I just had a conversation this afternoon with a girlfriend of mine about being on the precipice of action and what makes us decide to either jump in full steam ahead or abandon ship. She asked me, "So, what was it that made you take the leap and start your own business?" I said plain and simple, "Fear!"

Now let me explain, it wasn't "bad" fear, like "If I don't do this my life will crumble and I'll be a couch potato loser the rest of my life," but more of an excited, throw caution to the wind fear. Don't get me wrong, it was a fear that definitely held me in its grips before I acted that questioned and taunted me with thoughts like, "Do you really think you can do this, Kari?" and "Oh puhleeeeeze girlfriend, who the Sam Hell do you think you are to start a company and tell people what to do?" However, I knew it was a "healthy" fear because when I talked back to it, it morphed into an excited energy and lifted my spirits every time I thought about being the conduit to bringing people together in love. I mean c'mon, total awesomeness right? I swear to God, I don't know why everybody isn't in my line of work?

Looking back I realize I could have stayed stuck in the fear and not acted on my desire, but because it felt good to envision my business and seeing myself as an entrepreneur, I knew that I had to jump in with both feet. In fact, right before I hit the "create" button on my first website, as if out of the blue I heard someone whisper the old saying to me, "Feel the fear and do it anyway!" It was then I realized, I was the only commander of my ship and only I held the power to create my future. And if I didn't believe in myself, ain't nobody else was going to either.

If you've held onto my contact information for awhile now and felt trepidation about calling me to discuss my services for matchmaking, I would ask you to question yourself about what it is you're truly fearful of? Happiness? Possibilities? Being loved? Sometimes I think we're more afraid of the ways in which our lives could change for the better versus the worse!

There is a certain spirit you must have if you want to live a massively awesome life.

You have to jump in regardless of "what ifs!"

You have to poo poo your fears, doubts and worries (and everyone else's while you're at it).

You have to stop being precious about your reasons why not and start envisioning all the glorious possibilities of the imagine ifs!

And you have to fricken go for it!

Here's to jumping in with both feet!

"By the way, if we're going to date, you should probably know..."

2012-02-17T13:42:00.000-08:00

I was taping my show today, "The Kari Adams Show" (Princeton TV30) and got into a sobering discussion with my producer as I was addressing questions for the "Ask Kari" segment of my show. (This is the special episode that will air from time to time where I field dating and relationship questions submitted by single folks like you. So be sure to email me any questions you may have).

As I was addressing one of the questions about honesty when it comes to dating, he immediately stopped recording and said, "I have to tell you, this has happened to me twice now where I'm literally pulling up to my dates' house to drop them off after dinner and they say to me, "By the way, you should probably know, I'm still separated and not officially divorced yet. Don't you think this is something that should be brought up before our date?"

My answer, "Abso-freakin-lutely!" We owe it to the people we date to be open and honest about fundamental issues like these before agreeing to go out with them. It's only fair people! If you think you will get your date to fall head over heels in love with you before divulging something important like a significant change in your appearance since the photo they saw of you, your age, your current marital status or the 53 cats that you live with, think again!

Okay...for giggles and grins, let's just say they did happen to fall for you before knowing this information, it won't soon be long before that house of cards comes crashing down, ultimately casting a huge shadow of doubt on your integrity, principles and honesty that your lover would be hardpressed to overlook.

Isn't it easier just to tell the truth from the get-go? Put the ball in their court and if they decide they would like to continue dating you based on what you disclosed, then you can rest easy knowing you provided them with information that they needed to know and the playing field has been evened.

We all detest false advertising and feeling as though we were douped. Respect your dates, as well as yourself, enough to be on the up and up about who you are and the circumstances in which you find yourself. Because, if you haven't already found this out, dating karma is a bitch!

Happy ....errrr...Valentine's Day?

2012-02-16T14:30:00.000-08:00

I had such angst all day the other day as I contemplated over whether or not to blog. Let's talk about the elephant in the room, shall we? It was recently Valentine's Day and, yes, the majority of us were Valentine-less. The angel on my shoulder said, "Go ahead, write an upbeat, peppy blog in your cheeriest of cheery voices wishing everyone a happy Valentine's Day!"

The devil chimed in with, "Hell no! Don't do it Kari. The last thing you want to call attention to is a bloody holiday that celebrates all things mushy gushy, sweet nothings and declarations of everlasting love, reminding people that they're alone!" So what's a girl who makes a living finding love for the lovelorn to do?

To hell with it, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! Whatever you were doing, whomever you were with, all that matters is love...sweet love! Maybe the love of your life hasn't walked into your life just yet, but I'm pretty damn sure you can make a list for me of the people in your life that you can honestly say you love. Yes, love comes in various forms and it doesn't always include fireworks or earth movement, but there it is nonetheless, available to you whenever you need it - even if that means you have to give it to yourself!

We are so very blessed to live in a society where we are free to demonstrate and express our love for one another. Even if this Valentine's Day was sans romantic love for you, I encourage you to think about all of the other forms of love you have in your life and of all of the ways these people feed your soul.

And then, heat up that T.V. dinner and be glad the damn holiday is OVER!

You + Relationship = Ass out the DOOR!

2012-02-12T07:11:00.000-08:00

I know you're probably tired of hearing it - "He isn't going to come knocking on your door," or "She's not just going to suddenly appear on your couch," - but dagnabbit if it isn't true! Dating as we all know, is a numbers game and if you want to meet the love of your life, you need to get your ass off the sofa and out the door, ready and willing to meet as many new people as possible. It's not rocket science, the more people you meet, the closer you will be to finding that someone special.

"Yeah, yeah Kari. That all sounds fine and good, but how do I do that when I have a demanding job and kids that keep me on my toes and need me every time I turn around?" Well, I suppose, like anything else, if having a loving companion in your life is that important to you, you'll make the time and do what it takes to find them.

"But I'm not a bar person and I hate going to singles events." That's cool, no one is suggesting you become a Leisure Suit Larry barfly and end up in rehab from a growing propensity to the bottle. Not at all. Vary the places to which you go. Explore your passions and carve your social life around them and you increase the odds of meeting someone who likes the same things you do. Afterall, the ordinary places are not going to be the spots where you will meet your extraordinary better half! And that includes your couch...

Are you Going to Listen to Punxsutawney Phil This Winter? Or Will You Set Your Own Path?

2012-02-02T13:44:00.001-08:00

Even with global warming and higher digits being seen on the handy dandy outdoor temperature gauge, it was still crappy news to hear that ol' Phil, the famous prognosticator groundhog, saw his shadow today verifying that we have 6 more weeks of dreaded winter ahead. I'm over it.

You know what I'm even more over? Having a "groundhog life" where I listen to myself ad naseum, spouting the same thoughts over and over again in my monkey mind as if this time hearing the same complaint or disparaging comment will be the time it will matter and make a difference. Guess what, I'm 41 and I'm here to say, negative self talk hasn't helped, motivated or served me yet, so why bother anymore? I'm over it.

I'm also over living in a little bubble doing the same routine over and over again - day in, day out and expecting a different outcome. Wasn't it Albert Einstein that said something about this and its correlation to insanity? I've come to realize that most people aren't afraid of dying - they're afraid of living. And I'm over being one of those in fear of taking risks, in getting off the hamster wheel and in letting go of the same old routine that was at first my friend but is now my foe!

No, at the end of December 2011, I made the concious decision that I was going to stop the madness and start to lessen up on the reins of my so-called controlled life and to throw caution to the wind and see what's out there for me. Enough is enough, I wasn't put here to be a damn groundhog (Did you know they are also referred to as a "Whistle Pig?" I'm not sure in referring to myself, which one I'm more offended by!) and I certainly wasn't meant for mediocrity, stagnation, predictability and routine. And guess what, neither are you!

What I noticed almost as soon as January 1 hit, was that even the most minor shifts from my daily routine and thoughts procured results immediately. The most minuscule outcomes from my actions (and I'm talking, receiving a free cup of coffee at the local Wawa by saying "Hi" to the manager!) motivated me and gave me the positive energy to go out into the world, research new ideas, network, meet new people and be willing to accept and embrace change in my life.

Why does minor action produce almost immediate results? Physics. Just like the law of gravity suggests that if you jump off a building, you're going to hit the ground, the law of physics claims that once an object begins moving forward, it takes on a force (energy) of its own. It almost appears too simple - once you move forward in any direction - even the "wrong" one - you will be pulled into the flow of forward-moving energy.

If you are single and wanting a mate, what energy are you communicating with the universe that you would like your soul mate to arrive? Are you putting energy forward into finding love or are you stuck on the endless tape of rewind-stop-play, rewind-stop-play, rewind-stop-play, listening to the same message over and over again? It's okay if you are, but sometimes it just takes a nudge from the ethers, (I'm happy to be of service today!) to wake you up and remind you that you're wanting something new, that makes all the difference.

When you make phone calls to inquire about a certain someone of interest, meet with someone new in the hopes of making a love connection or do research on the Internet to find out places to meet other single people, you're sending out a message to the universe that you're moving forward. And haven't we all been looking back for far too long now to know that the answers are not in our shadow's, but ahead in our energy created future's?

Here's to dumping our own Groundhog Phil's and Groundhog Phylliss's and to embracing our new, exciting and different lives'. I don't care what they say, spring is here for me!

Is Good Dating Etiquette A Thing of The Past?

2012-02-01T14:10:00.000-08:00

I just received an email from a client who was rather blown away when she received a message from her date I set her up with, confirming their plans to meet later this week. She wrote, "Wow! I do love when people confirm plans!"

While, yes, I'll admit I boast a rather stellar database filled with quality, conscientious clientelle (Ha, if I do say so myself!), I had to stop myself from also responding in kind with total awe and dismay. Being so inundated with modern technologies of today such as Smart Phones, I-Pad's, DVR's, and video game consoles where you can literally rent movies all while not communicating with a single person, have we gotten so out of touch with one other that we're now shocked when good manners and proper dating etiquette are exhibited?

What happened to the day when we expected our dates to confirm plans for the following weekend we had made earlier in the week? I might be dating myself here, but I can vividly recall the time when a guy would actually pick up the phone and call me to ask me out for date and wait for my response. Not only would he ask me where I would like to go, when datenight came, he was **GASP!** at my front door at the suggested time picking me up in his car, taking me to the agreed upon restaurant.

Oh, days of yore! Seems like ions ago compared to last weekend when a guy texted me out of the blue, asking me to meet him out for dinner at a local place where he wanted to go (because he loved their goat cheese salad!). No asking me where I would like to go, let alone offering to pick me up! No cordial phone call for me requesting the honor of my ever-so-engaging presence. And was it too much to ask to be given...oh, I don't know, a good several days, advance notice? I mean, I'm a spontaneous kinda' gal, but texting me last minute to ask me out on a Saturday night....now you're workin' my last nerve! (Nevermind I was sitting on my bed in my bathrobe watching reruns of "America's Next Top Model," any other Saturday and I would have been busy, busy, busy...just all kinds of busy!)

I say, if we want better treatment and to be shown respect, guy or girl, we need to command it. Its time we stop tolerating sloppy behavior and start raising the bar back up on our dating expectations. Afterall, if a person isn't able or willing to bring their A-game on the first date, treating you like the amazing catch that you are, what will they be bringing after a month? You get less when you settle for less, and quite honestly, reruns of "America's Next Top Model" in my comfy PJ's outrank a bad date any day of the week!

Don't Hope, Friend...Decide!

2012-01-26T14:51:00.000-08:00

My friend and author ("Excuse Me, Your Life is NOW") Doreen Banaszak recently sent me this feel good story that one of her client's personally shared with her. It's so inspirational and uplifting, I wanted to share it with all of you...

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life changing experiences that you hear other people talk about. You know, the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly? Well, this one occurred a mere two feet away from me! Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jetway, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family. First, he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, and movingly loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly, diverted his eyes, and replied softly, "Me too, Dad!"

Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe 9 or 10) and while cupping his son's face in his hands he said, "You're already quite the young man. I love you very much Zach!" They too hugged a most loving, tender hug. His son said nothing. No reply was necessary. While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one and a half) was squirming excitedly in her mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi babygirl!" as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder and remained motionless in total pure contentment.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, "I've saved the best for last!" and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed, "I love you so much!" They stared into each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands. For an instant, they reminded me of newlyweds but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn't be. I puzzled about it for a moment, then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I were invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long have you two been married?" "Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those," he replied without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife's face. "Well then, how long have you been away?" I asked. The man finally looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile and told me, "Two whole days!"

Two days?! I was stunned! I was certain by the intensity of the greeting I just witnessed that he'd been gone for at least several weeks, if not months, and I know my expression betrayed me. So I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!" The man suddenly stopped smiling. He looked me straight in the eye, and with an intensity that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, "Don't hope friend...decide." Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!" With that, he and his family turned and energetically strode away together. I was still watching that exceptional man and his special family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, "What'cha looking at?" Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I replied, "My future!"

We all HOPE for something or someone in our lives' to come along in order make us feel better or complete or secure or enriched or whatever. Isn't it wonderful to know that we can literally DECIDE to have what we want to experience? For example, Michelle, the woman I interviewed today on my new show "The Kari Adams Show" on Princeton's local TV30 (airing date TBA), held the intention and decided that she was going to find a husband online when she first began her search on E-Harmony.

Did it happen overnight? No. She went on several dates but remained hopeful and didn't fret when they didn't pan out because, as she reminded herself, her decision had already been made and that her husband-to-be was out there looking for her. Well, wouldn't you know, she eventually did meet "him" and says the minute she read his profile she had that special feeling that whispered, "This could be the one!" She's been married for a little over two months now and I can tell you, we barely needed lighting today at the studio because she literally lit up the room with her glow.

Are you ready to decide what your future will look like? If so, it's time to email me and allow me to help you create it!

Why NOT me?

2012-01-23T15:06:00.001-08:00

This weekend I had an epiphany - I absolutely LOVE what I do! Meeting new and interesting people and figuring out ways to make love connections is the most rewarding, fulfilling job on the planet! Unfortunately, I seem to be in the minority lately when I hear tale after tale of job dissatisfaction out there. It's no wonder I meet with so many people who are having a difficult time finding a mate when they can't stand their current job or profession. Think about it, when you spend most of your days at your job that you happen to loathe, it only makes sense those thoughts and feelings would bleed into other major areas of your life.

As I was contemplating my good fortune of loving what I do, I heard a voice that told me to reach out to my sister and tell her she needed to quit her job and start her own catering and interior design company. Now mind you, I haven't spoken to my sister in months and since she lives in California, I don't see her often, so I have no idea what she's currently up to. (By the way, "Intuit with psychic abilities" needs to be added to my resume!)

I tried to shush this annoying voice, but it got so loud, the only thing I could do was text her in order to shut the damn thing up. She quickly responded saying, "I can't believe you're saying this. I just created this new recipe that I've been working on trying to perfect and I was telling myself how fun it would be to sell these to local wineries and restaurants. I've been so miserable in my job lately and wanting to quit and start something up that I'm passionate about."

I told her that this was what she needed to be doing and because cooking, decorating and entertaining was her ultimate joy, the money would follow. She said, "You're right, I need to do what I love. I'm going to start working on my new career right away! Kari, thank you so much for motivating me."

When we are in the flow of life, loving what we do, loving those around us, loving our homes and environments, loving ourselves, everything seems to easily and effortlessly line up for us. All it takes is a change in our thoughts to go from miserable to joyful; its that simple. If you're reinforcing your misery by remaining in an unhappy job day in and day out, now is the time to ask yourself why?

I know most of you are probably screaming at your computer screens, "Kari, I have bills to pay," or "There aren't any jobs out there, Kari! I'm lucky enough to have this one." Really? That's your excuse? Like in finding love, many of us have the propensity to stick to our stories and hold onto them for dear life, "All men want younger women," "Women only want a successful man who's wealthy, " "There aren't any good men/women out there," "Online dating doesn't work," "There are just a bunch of creeps out there," etc, etc, etc, etc....ad nauseum etc!!!

These "stories" aren't true and I have plenty of evidence to back that up! There are literally billions of people in this world, so why are so many of us lonely? Jobs are opening up as we speak and new entreprenuerships start everyday. Why can't you be one of the ones making hand over fist doing what you're passionate about? So, the next time a happy, loving, canoodling couple walks past you on the street, instead of chortling to yourself about how obnoxious they look as you roll your eyes up into the back of your head, say to yourself, "Why not me?" And then shout out a big thank you to the universe for sending you a little gentle reminder about what's possible!

How Do You SLEEP at Night!

2012-01-19T15:09:00.001-08:00

Do you know that you are constantly sending out energy signals throughout each day by your thoughts and actions? And are you willing to consider that some of those patterns and conditioned behaviors are the very things that are keeping love away?

Entertain me if you will...

I was having a conversation with a client of mine the other day and she was telling me that she was doing "all the right" things in order to meet her next partner. She's active in her community, travels all over the globe with friends and sometimes alone, goes to social events regularly, has a great job that allows her to meet new people, plays tennis and skiis regularly, etc. She asked me why it was that "he" wasn't showing up?

While I didn't have a pat answer for her, I was able to determine that perhaps with all that she is doing, perhaps she isn't leaving any space in her life for him to enter? I asked her where she slept at night in her bed, on the side or in the middle. She answered somewhere in between. "Let me ask you this," I asked, "If he was in there with you, would there be room? Or would you need to move over in order to give him some space?" She said she would need to move over, so I told her to start doing that now. "Act as if he is already there and you will be amazed by the results. You need to shift your energy so it is in alignment with what you are wanting."

Think about it, when you have invited guests to your home, do you park your car right in the middle of the driveway right before they arrive? No. You move it over to the side or put in the garage to allow room for them. Why? Because you are expecting their arrival and want them to be accommodated when they get there. And have you ever invited a group of people to come over only to have no one show up? I'm going to venture never. Why do they show up? Expectation. And its the same with finding love - you can shift your energy now so that you are expecting the changes you want and the universe won't be able but to help bring those results to you.

I then asked my client what her closets looked like and she said, "Well they're packed. C'mon, I'm a woman and I need room for my clothes." Have you ever been to a couple's house and seen only women's clothing in the closets? Okay, I'll admit, usually the chick gets most of the closet real estate, but there are men's clothing in there too...that is if the dude's not a cross-dressing recluse! I told her that I was certain if I went to her closet, I could pick out a stack of clothing that she no longer wears that could easily be given away without missing them for a second. And further, now is the perfect time to get rid of the things that are using up her energy so that she could make room for "his" clothes. If you are questioning the validity of these steps, then I challenge you: how badly do you want change? Isn't it worth a shot to make some minor adjustments in your life to see if you can create space for something you really want?

Here's a part of an email I received from a past client who is newly engaged and used her energy signals to find love:

"Kari - Thanks for the well wishes on my engagement. I have to tell you, had I not contacted you and went out with some of your members, I wouldn't have had the confidence to go online and find Matt. You really helped me get out of my own way and to show me how to change my thinking. It was only after going on the dates you sent me on and talking with you afterwards that got me to change how I was sending out the smoke signals!"

Yeah, yeah...I know, I can't take the credit for the actual introduction to the man this woman is now engaged to, but I can take ownership of helping this client to change her energy signals so that she could be in a space to allow love into her life. So what about you? Is there room in your bed, your closet, your schedule, your life for another person to enter? Where can you create space to allow for that someone special to come into?

Aren't you SO over online dating stories like this one...

2012-01-18T13:50:00.000-08:00

So, I'm watching "The Bachelor" last night and finding myself really intrigued as smart and sassy Emily woos Ben on their romantic one-on-one date. That is, up until the moment Ben probes Emily about her single status and she confesses her online dating horror story.

She was tired of being single so she decided, "What the hell? I'm going to give online dating a shot," and she fastidiously filled out the lengthy questionairre on EHarmony and submitted it with fingers crossed. She gets excited when her computer sounds off and chirps that she has a new match in her inbox.

Excitedly she runs to her screen, opens her mail and reads all about her perfect match. From his description he sounds like a catch and exactly what she's looking for in a guy. She decides to delve further by opening the link to his photo with eager anticipation. Could you imagine her utter dismay and horror when she realizes her "ideal match" is her one and only BROTHER?????? Could you die?????

Are you tired of similar online dating scenarios? Have you had it with blind dates arranged by well meaning friends or family members whose idea of "a perfect match" is light years from yours'? Are you fed up with hearing your own voice reminding you that the clock is ticking and that you need to get out there and find your soul mate already?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you are clearly not alone. This month in particular I have received record breaking inquiries about my dating programs and matchmaking services. I have also heard relationship success stories in record numbers as well, so I have to conclude that people are setting their intentions' to find love and making them their reality.

Isn't now the time for you to set your intention that this is the year you will find love? If not now, then when? Why miss out on what so many other fortunate people are experiencing at this very moment? Now is the only time you have, this day, this moment. What are you going to choose to do with it?

Can you imagine yourself in a loving relationship with an amazing partner? Well, I'm here to tell you, if you can imagine it, you can have it! The only difference between yourself and someone who has what you want is intention.

If you would like help in creating your intention to let this finally be the year you will find love, write me an email at kadams@princetoneliteclub.com and we will start an action plan for you right away to unveil the fulfilling life you were meant to live!

I Think I've Gone CRAZY!

2012-01-12T19:50:00.000-08:00

In lieu of my brief daliance with insanity by offering a 20% discount off my program fees, I only have 3 spots left that I am accepting by the deadline of 1/15/12. That's this Sunday folks, so if you've been considering joining either my New Years Program or matchmaking services, get on the stick and take ADVANTAGE of my lapse in sound and reasonable judgement. This discount will most likely not be offered again any time soon...unless, of course, I clone myself, acquire some Oompa Loompas or lose my mind again. (Ya never know with me!)

Also, don't forget...
Sunday Morning Brunch in Downtown Princeton, Sun, 1/15/12

If you're single (newly, perpetually, desperately, happily, whatever...) please come and join us for a Sunday morning brunch in downtown Princeton at the famous Winberies Restaurant. We will have our very own private room designated just for us so that we can convene and enjoy a wonderful and reputable buffet brunch in a quiet setting. For more information, please click on the "Social Events" tab on my website.

Don't you just hate when this happens...

2012-01-08T08:06:00.001-08:00

Its a liesurely day at home or the office...

...you're sitting at your computer, totally inspired as you effortlessly write an email to its recipient while words flow out of you as if from thin air. You stop to take a break from your psuedo novella and reread what you've written so far and marvel at your own brilliance as you smirk and say to yourself, "Damn I'm good!" Then suddenly as if to mock you for feeling entirely too damn good about yourself, your little omnipotent data process machine decides to short circuit causing a freeze which leaves you completely perplexed forcing you to agonizingly wait...wait...wait. And then wait some more. After 5 minutes of sitting in sheer-code-red-I-wanna-throw-this-damn-thing-out-my-front-door-into-the-street-to-leave-for-the-feral-varmints-to-have-their-way-with frustration (okay, for me its more like 20 seconds!) the only left to do is hit backspace at which point it takes you back to your ORIGINAL destination of Empty Email Template HELL!

Uh huh...yep, this has happened to me now not once, but 3 times in the past 24 hours. Today, however, when it happened YET again, I made a conscious decision to react differently. I remembered how the previous two emails had not only eventually been rewritten and gone out to their addressees, they actually were better emails than the ones I had originally created. Has this ever happened to you?

Sometimes, I believe, we're given second (or third or fourth) chances in life so that we can "get it right" the next time around. When you're frustrated with your current circumstance, wondering why it is the way is, why things turned out the way they did, why you're alone instead of with someone, etc, think about when you got the chance to re-do something, and how much better you were for it because the end result was infinitely better.

Like with the email circling around somewhere in outer-cyper space, if you are in wait-mode, you are in a wonderful place to decipher how you will do it differently next time. Once this aspect of your life has been rewritten, you will look back and be grateful for the disruption that forced you to make some necessary changes. How great is it that we are given opportunities to recreate, redesign and reevaluate things in our lives' so that we can make them even better the next time around?

And don't forget (you knew this was coming right?), to welcome in the new year, embrace change and celebrate Princeton Elite's new program, I am offering a 20% discount (a $400 value) to members who sign on by 1/15/12.

And now...that's less than 7 days away party people so hurry up and let's get to living your damn life already!

If you would like more information about this personally tailored program for the single person interested in learning how to be all that they can be and get all that they want, please email me at: kadams@princetoneliteclub.com.

New year, new Facebook Status?

2012-01-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

Happy belated new year everyone. Man, it's been so long that I've blogged, I actually forgot the URL to go to and my password. Well, I'm back and fiercer than before!!

Wow, it's been quite a busy year for me filled with challenges, spiritual growth, learning and lots and lots of re-evaluation! Its a new year and I'm so hopeful you are finding yourself in a similar place as myself; eager, encouraged and at ease about what awaits you in 2012. I see very good things in store for so many of us and I feel priveleged to have had such great opportunities to meet, speak to and work with such wonderful single folks, like yourself, over the past several years!

If you are currently unattached and wanting to find the mate of your dreams, keep in mind that it is change that you are seeking to create and as you probably recognize, that process begins with you. I know, I know...that darn magic wand just ain't doin' the trick anymore like it used to when we were 5! But, like they say, "Nothing changes if nothing changes." In welcoming this new year I ask you, what are you willing to let go of so that you can replace it with something positive that you would like to experience? Maybe its watching less meaningless TV? Perhaps its quitting bad habits such as smoking or using excessive cursing in your vocubarly? It could be letting go of the need to alter your emotional state by drinking too much alcohol, caffeine, over-eating or over-spending?

Whichever monkey it is that sits upon your back , gnawing at you to give it up because it isn't working for you anymore, I say, let it go. If it is love you are wanting to find this year, make room in your life now so that you can welcome in love. If there is something, or more importantly, someone in your life that is keeping it in a holding pattern, now is the time to release it, or them, so that you free yourself and open yourself up to all the possibilties that await you.

I have made so many positive changes in my own life, both personally and professionally within the past several months and I can't wait to share those with you over the next couple of weeks. (Okay, I can't wait to blab about one of them...but shhh, you didn't hear this from me - I'm on deck to host my very own TV show starting in February on Princeton's TV 30 which will be premised on dating, relationships, lifestyle and fun things to do in New Jersey and the surrounding areas!) But for now I'd like to inform you that I have created a new, personally tailored program like no other for motivated single people who are ready to find their ideal mate. I have incorporated everything I have learned from being a professional matchmaker, including the good, the bad and the ugly and hand crafted a life-altering program that will forever change the individual.* As a client, you will learn the most important basic skill upon which you can place no dollar amount on, that every single person wants to learn:

•How to find the perfect mate for you

*I only take on a select handful of individuals at one time, so this offering is only for highly motivated people who are ready and willing to let go and embrace change in order to find love. (Because you truly will never be the same!)

If you are interested in learning more about how my new program works, please email me at kadams@princetoneliteclub.com and I will personally respond to you and fill you in. And, to ring in the new year and celebrate Princeton Elite's new program, I am offering a 20% discount (a $400 value) to members who sign on for it by 1/15/12. That's just 10 days away peeps so hurry up and let's get to living your damn life already!

Oh...and by the way, have you ever watched the movie, "What the Bleep Do We Know?" O-M-G, I watched it over the holidays (Okay, I admit I had to watch it several times over because, in case you didn't know, I'm no Quantum Physicist!) and it was brilliantly mind blowing. Most of you know I'm a big fan of "The Secret" and the Law of Attraction, well this one is similar but more....hmmmm....how shall I put it? On steroids! Here's the link that you can watch RIGHT NOW at your leisure in full! But be warned, only watch if you're up for major change!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT50SV3W5K0

All the best to you and your family for a joyous, abundant and love-filled new year!

Are You Ready for Change?

2011-09-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

Whether you're re-entering the dating scene, been dating for awhile now with discouraging results, or going through a major life transition, chances are you're looking for a level of change that will bring you closer to ultimate happiness. Are you willing to get out of your own way to attract positive change? If the answer is yes, send us a quick note via our website telling us what you are going through and what you're wanting that you are not yet receiving. Princeton Elite Club is also evolving and we're so excited to share with you something that will really make a difference in your personal life! Are you ready?

Current Holiday MATCHMAKING SPECIAL - Plus chance to earn $100 CASH!!

2010-12-17T08:09:00.000-08:00

Did you know Princeton Elite Club is currently offering a special this holiday season on premiere matchmaking services? You'll enjoy 20% savings if you sign up for personal matchmaking by December 23, 2010. This is a HUGE savings as prices will be going up January 1, 2011!! Get in now, call 609-454-3183! Don't you deserve the gift of love this holiday season??

**ALSO - I have a referral plan where anybody you send me who signs up for my services, you will receive $100 CASH!! So, send your single friends MY way!!

Question of the Day: Where's the best place to take a first date on New Years Eve?

2010-12-16T12:42:00.000-08:00

I suppose I first need a date, but I'll figure that part out later. What are some cool ideas, places to go, things to see, etc, outside of the quintessential ball dropping parties on New Years Eve? What's the most unique or interesting NYE date you've ever been on? I guess the most romantic New Years I ever had was the year my ex husband and I attended his best friend's wedding. I wasn't sure at first how it was going to go down and if ringing in the new year would be a part of the nuptuals, but I have to say, it was the most extraordinarily nostaglic thing to witness and be a part of.

After they said their "I do's" and the processions concluded, the bride and groom got into a lovely horse drawn carriage and were whisked away, into the crisp, foggy night air, to the reception celebration. People milled around all evening with especially joyous spirits and, it would seem, increased amorous feelings towards their own dates/spouses.

Yes, I know weddings in general have a way of stimulating whimsical and loving feelings in folks; however, with the added notion of it being New Years Eve and knowing that the anticipation of midnight was looming, it somehow added to the allure and intrigue of the evening. It also took the pressure off of the concept of having to be at "the" party of the night. First of all, we all felt as though we already were, and secondly, we had bigger things to focus on. Love!

Question of the Day: What is or was your favorite dating game show?

2010-12-15T13:38:00.000-08:00

Starting in the mid-60's, "The Dating Game" hosted by Jim Lange was basically the prototype dating show for other various syndications to follow suit with a similar format. Bob Eubanks kept us laughing as he emceed "The Newlywed Game" while poking fun at newly married couples. Of course, we now have the modern day reality dating shows such as "The Bachelor/The Bachelorette" where one guy or girl gets to date several people over a 6 week period while picking off candidates and eventually ending with one potential fiance.

"Dating in the Dark" is a current dating game show with a whole new daunting twist! A bachelor and a bachelorette are placed in a dark room and forced to get to know one another while having no idea what the other looks like. They then go off, and each date other potential candidates in the dark, and at the end of the show, they're forced to pick one bachelor/bachelorette whom they want to date. Of course, when they've all made their decisions, the lights come on and, hence, the real "romantic" interest is put to the test!

Over the years, due to high interest in courting singles, there's been a plethora of popular television dating shows. That said, my favorite dating game show was and continues to be "Love Connection" hosted by the charming and witty Chuck Woolery. I remember scheduling my afternoons around catching it in time so that I could watch candidates watch clips of potential dates and the candidates' hilarious commentaries on each of them.

It was uproariously funny when a candidate would reject someone they had picked to go on a date with and the date would retort back with mudslinging, dissing and completely insulting the candidate in response. Next thing you know, the two are in a full blown verbal knock-down-drag-out, and all the while, Chuck Woolery is sitting between the "two" (the date was always behind the wall being video-taped), either looking like a deer caught in the headlights or stifling the urge to belt out a huge guffaw! Ahhh...the good ol' days of quality TV programming! :-)

Question of the Day: Have you ever dated/been with a hypochondriac?

2010-12-14T12:39:00.000-08:00

Dr. Phil had a married couple on his show today where the husband was a severe hypochondriac. The wife complained about how tiring it was always having to try assuaging his fears that he wasn't having a heart attack, didn't have a brain tumor, a rare blood disease or what-have-you. And that it's exhausting when he gets up all night long to run to the computer to check a potential ailment or disease he might have.

It got me thinking about my own personal experiences and wondering if I've ever been with a hypochondriac. I did once date a guy who was obsessed with health and fitness and would drink protein shakes and vegetable juices all day long. I mean, our daily schedule literally revolved around him having to go home to throw ingredients into a blender or juicer because, that's not exactly something you can just do on the go. He would also take vitamins and supplements by the handfuls which always baffled me, how he didn't gag on all them.

As far as dating a full-blown hypochondriac, however, I don't think I've yet to have the honors. If anything, I've been more inclined to date the guy hacking up a lung, practically on his deathbed who refuses to go to the doctor, maintaining that it's "just a bug." Sheesh...guys and their machismo! But, since the research suggests more women are hypochondriacs than men (and yet surprisingly, we're healthier!) I suppose it makes sense I haven't had the pleasure! Oh well, I shouldn't be so quick to talk! Given my track record, I'm sure Mr. Sickly will be knockin' on my door soon enough!

Question of the Day: When online dating, is it possible for an "average Joe/Josephine" to find love when so many people appear shallow?

2010-12-09T10:20:00.001-08:00

This particular question comes from a fellow member. I have to say, I hear many complaints from people who call me up looking for matchmaking or who attend my singles events looking for another avenue when it comes to dating. These people are jaded and turned off by online dating because they feel as though they're being overlooked by the opposite sex because they don't look a certain way, make enough money, have the "right" career, etc. One gentleman in particlar I can remember saying to me, "Women seem to only want men online that make a lot of money and are 6 feet tall. How am I supposed to meet anyone on there when they pass me up right away just based on some numbers on my profile?"

Well, to be fair, this problem goes the other way too and I hear complaints from women just as much as men. They say things like, "Why do men base everything on looks? It's not always all about that and if they took the time to get to know me, as a person, they would love me for me." They also complain that they see the same faces over and over again online and feel as though "the good ones" are either already taken or don't bother with online dating.

I look at it this way, it's a technical TOOL that can enhance your dating life, but certainly not something to be utilized as a be all, end all to finding your happily ever after. Anytime you're searching and scouring the earth for your next soul mate, you not only aren't going to find him or her, you're very likely to attract a lot of "scraps" and, basically, people that aren't up to your standards. Its the old addage which I stand by, that when you give up and say, "Screw it! I'm done," its then that miraculously, the bus unloads and voila...enter lover stage left!

Question of the Day: You're on a date & a rock band pulls you up on stage. What do you choose to excel at? Lead singer? Lead guitar? Bass? Drums?

2010-12-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, corny question, but I think it tells a lot about a person. Such as:

Lead Singer: Outgoing, courageous, not afraid to wear their heart on their sleeve, energetic and requires the limelight/center of attention

Bass: Likes being an integral part of a group, but doesn't need to be center of attention, thoughtful, smart, intuitive, organized, not averse to risk

Lead Guitar: Outgoing, witty, commands attention but doesn't demand it, clever, great attention to detail, organized, creative

Drums: On the outside looks crazy, rebellious and out of control, but internally there's a calmness and sense of serenity, loyal, caring, fun, spiritual