The Principal at Work

Forget to do something?

admin — Wed, 27 May 2009 19:51:17 +0000

You always had it in the back of your mind that you were going to accomplish something totally impressive. But did you? NOOOooo….

This guy did. Watch it and weep for your pathetic, wasted life.

Oops, I did it again - Craig Fergusen

admin — Thu, 21 May 2009 01:45:52 +0000

This is just way too funny for words. I hope he does a lot more of this sort of thing.

Bad pickup lines

admin — Thu, 07 May 2009 02:52:34 +0000

For the most part these are hilarious. Read them and weep. Studies have shown that when a guy approaches a woman in a bar, he blows it completely and ends up looking like an arrogant fool. Only when the woman makes the first move does the guy have any hope of getting anywhere.

Link

Cat got your tongue? She’s pissed…

admin — Thu, 07 May 2009 02:47:30 +0000

Better watch out when your mate is acting, um, catty.

Send a stripper to your reunion

admin — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 16:55:17 +0000

This is absolutely hilarious. A woman who hated her high school hired a stripper to impersonate her at her 10th reunion, then made a movie about it. Due to the need to get permission from everyone in it, it will probably never be released. But the trailer is absolutely a hoot!

100 Unintentionally Hilarious Spam Subject Lines

admin — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 03:42:55 +0000

We all know they often just try to use random words and phrases to get people to open some of those emails. But sometimes it goes horribly, horribly wrong.

This guy apparently has been saving up the worst examples for years.

Link

How to become a porn star

admin — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 00:57:39 +0000

Watch as Brenda arrives in town, all set to become a porn star.

Hilarious!

Dumb email update

admin — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:44:49 +0000

I guess I haven’t received too many stupendously dumb emails in a while. For this one it was necessary to bring back this feature.

From: Dumb customer
Subject: GUIDED MASTURBATION
Date: 4/6/2009 3:55 PM

Principal Quattrano,
I have received a letter from your office instructing me to be at your office this afternoon. The letter says that I must email you & confirm our appointment. I am doing that now! In the letter I am told you will be completing my detention and I will be required to MASTURBATE for you following your STROKING directions. I am to stand in front of you and JACK OFF for you into a bowl and then rub my CUMMM all over your tits. Permission to report for appointment???
Dumb Customer - FYI I measure 11 inches by 4 inches, with a bulging cock head! What do U say???

Obviously he doesn’t read, thinking his cock speaks louder than words. Therefore he (like so many males) thinks that if they say they have a large cock, a woman, even a dominant woman like me, will be really, really impressed. And, like, want to speak with him on the phone very badly, as if having a big, hard cock improves a male’s communication skills.

What part of ‘dominate’ do you not understand, dumb customer?

To: Dumb Customer
Subject: Re: GUIDED MASTURBATION
Date: 4/6/2009 6:15 PM

You misread the message. You are to report to the Office of the School Nurse for castration immediately.

The Principal

From: Dumb Customer
Subject: Re: GUIDED MASTURBATION
Date: 4/6/2009 7:04 PM

Principal Quatranno,
Begging to report to your office 1st & MASTURBATE TO YOUR PLEASURE in hopes that I may not be sent to the Nurse! I will perform to your specifications!!! Please let me have 1 chance to be your weekly JACK OFF BOY! If it’s not to your liking, you can always send me to the nurse! I will obey all your stroking instructions!!! If it pleases you I would love to worship any part or parts of you while I JACK OFF for you! Please let me know!
Respectfully,

Your JACK OFF BOY,
Dumb Customer

To: Dumb Customer
Subject: Re: GUIDED MASTURBATION
Date: 4/6/2009 7:09 PM

Very well. It is clear you will not be able to function properly until you are drained. Report to My office immediately.

The Principal

Did I expect him to call? No, the only time he has ever called me was a year and a half ago for 3 minutes. But it was fun playing with him. And writing him up over it, too.

There is no shortage of boys out there who appear to be eager to serve as bad examples.

Bad boy looking for a spanking

admin — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 00:13:38 +0000

He knew he’d been a bad boy, too. He had cheated on his girlfriend.

He was into pain, a real pain slut, and he knew that his soul could only be cleansed by a good whooping.

Most of the guys who call me are looking for roleplay, not reality. But if they are looking for it, who am I to deny it? Besides, those moans are so satisfying.

His implement of choice was a barbecue spatula with sharpish edges. He struck himself enthusiastically on command, and the pain was accompanied by moans or screams. I asked if he had ever wetted down his skin before striking himself before, and as he had not, I sent him to get himself a wet sponge.

That worked out so well that he broke the spatula. I guess he’ll be buying a new one for the next spanking.

The key to recovery

admin — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 06:14:39 +0000

…is phone sex.

Yes, indeed. The fact is, we all look around us helplessly, uncomprehending the enormity of the economic cataclysm we see ourselves in, and we ask, “What can I do? What meaningful sacrifice can I make?”

All I can do is to quote a bit from Lily Tomlin, but completely out of context.

The answer is so simple I am surprised even you did not think of it.

The answer is phone sex. Spending money on phone sex puts it right into the hands of other workers like yourself, who will spend it at retail establishments, resulting in more employment and more Americans with disposable income. People will buy houses and durable goods, the stock market will rise.

You should in fact spend more on phone sex now, as much as you can possibly afford. Phone sex is the glue that will bind us together as a nation in a new prosperity.