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timlewisnm

A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye.  ~Samuel Grafton

We have all seen them - at least if we’ve been on the road at all.  They’re big.  Sometimes they whiz by very fast and sometimes they cruise at a slower speed.  Sometimes maybe we even get annoyed by them, but it seems we can’t live in the world we do without their function.  They serve a purpose.

Eighteen wheelers, transfer trucks, big rigs, trucks.  Are there any lessons that we can learn from them - or better yet are there lessons we can learn from the drivers in charge of their reigns?

When I was a small child I told my mom I wanted to be a truck driver when I grew up.  I have no idea why.  She worried herself silly about it.  I guess she thought that was a dangerous occupation for a woman.  Well, I grew up, and no I didn’t become a truck driver or even go to truck driver trainer school, but I was privileged to ride in a big rig in my earlier days.  My uncle was a truck driver and he took us kids for a ride one day.  That was fun.  I certainly got a different perspective than I had gotten from riding in a car.  Well, let’s talk about that….

I’ve been told that in truck driver training school that one of the things they teach a student is to not just look at or stay focused on the car right in front of them.  Instead they are taught to look beyond - to look ahead several cars in front of them.  Truck drivers must be aware of things around them.  In a way truck drivers have a very distinct advantage because they are so big and do sit up so high.  It’s easier to see out.  The car in front of them becomes just one small car that fits into the picture - just one piece of the puzzle.  If the driver is solely focused on the car in front of them then they might not see the accident that is several cars ahead.  They might miss the opportunity to change lanes before something catastrophic happens.

photo by:  Rennett Stowe

Truck drivers can learn from the car in front of them without staying focused on it.  Maybe the car in front of them puts on their breaks or swerves.  He could start yelling at the driver in front of him and become really angry, or he could learn from this car to see what else is happening and/or what actions to take.

You see, in life it’s easy to just see that car - the obstacle right in front of us.  It’s easy to focus on the problem and stay so focused on it that it bogs us down, that it keeps us from stepping back and seeing how it plays into the whole picture.  Obviously we need to give the car some credence, but if it’s all we see then it’s likely we’re going to miss some opportunities or benefits that we would otherwise see.

Your turn:

Are you focused on the car right in front of you?  Are you so focused on a problem or something that you do not like that you can’t see past it?  Is it possible that you could be missing some opportunities ahead or benefits that you might otherwise see if you took a step back or sat in the driver seat of a truck?    What can you learn from this car?  How does it fit into the bigger picture?

Tip: Next time you are focused on the car in front of you, pause, take a breath and pretend you are a truck driver.

photo by:  Jeff Kubina

The story is told of Thomas Edison…  (If you Google it, the numbers range anywhere from around 700 to 10,000 attempts or greater, but the numbers aren’t really important.)  The story goes that Edison failed somewhere between 700-10,000 times before he invented the light bulb.  Well, that’s how most people would see it.  It is reported that someone asked him somewhere in the midst of his attempts why he was still trying  to invent the light bulb when he had already failed so many times.  His answer was that he hadn’t failed all those times, but rather that he had successfully figured out that many ways a light bulb won’t work.

We’re hard on ourselves…. very hard on ourselves….  We talk worse to ourselves than we would allow anyone else to talk to us.  We try something and it doesn’t work and we label ourselves a failure.  We try something else and there we go again - We’re a failure once again.  “I just can’t do anything.  I’m no good.”  The only problem is we’re not a failure until we give ourselves permission to believe that.  The truth is that we can all do lots of things and we all have immense value.

It’s all about how we see things.  We’re only failures if we tell ourselves we are.  Have you failed at something?  More than one something?  How hard are you on yourself?  Is it possible that you could learn some things from these “unsuccessful” attempts?  Is it possible that you could learn from these attempts what does not work?  What if we constantly had a learning mindset?  What if we stopped beating ourselves up long enough to observe what went wrong for the purpose of learning from each “unsuccessful” attempt?

Ask anyone who you consider to be a  success?  Each and every one of them could tell you things they have tried that did not work. The reason that they are where they are today is because they did not tell themselves they were a failure when something they tried did not work.  They refused to believe that lie.  They eagerly learned from their attempts what did not work.  It’s a mindset for them - a way of life - not a one time question of what went wrong.

While I have heard this lesson many times, it really struck me this last time I heard it.  Have I at times quickly written myself off as a failure?  Sure I have.  But I am not a failure.  You are not a failure!

Your turn:

Have you ever labeled yourself as a failure?

What is one thing you have tried and had success?

What have you attempted and successfully learned did not work?

Want to prove to yourself that you are not a failure?  Write down 10 things in which you have succeeded.  There is nothing to small.  Can you tie your shoe?  Then you succeeded at that.  (It’s likely you failed a few times at that before you mastered it.  You probably even learned some ways that didn’t work before you did master it.)

At the end of each day start asking yourself, “At what was I successful today?  What have I successfully learned today that did not work?  What can I try tomorrow that might just make it work?  (or what can I do different tomorrow?)”

(Remember:  It’s a mindset, not a one time question.)

photo by:  Material Boy

Over two years ago I read this story and it is something that I have remembered to this day.  Whether it is true or not, I have no way of knowing, but it certainly could be true.  It’s message is extremely powerful so I wanted to share it with you.

Bank Account

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably coiffed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

“I love it,” he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

“Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; just wait.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” he replied.

“Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged … it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away. Just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in.

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.”

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

What are you depositing into your bank account?

How is your mind arranged?

Did you decide ahead of time how your day would go (no matter what happened)?  Would your day have gone differently if you had decided to think on the blessings?

Each day is full of blessings from above if we only choose to see them.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” - Phillippians 4:8

photo by: law_keven

Anthony Robbins…. Have you heard of him?  If you’ve been into personal growth for very long it’s likely you have.  He lives and thrives on improving the quality of people’s lives.  I think that’s pretty noble.  Robbins was the featured guest In the January 2009 Issue of Success magazine.  There is an article about him in this issue followed by a question and answer session with him.  It is from that question and answer session that this post is based upon.  (Click here to read the full article and interview.)

In the last two posts I talked about deciding clearly who you want to be and about the value of saying yes and no to the right things.  As I was reading through this interview with Anthony Robbins I noticed that he took these things a step further, which I really appreciated and wanted to pass along to you.  Robbins poses a question for us to ask ourselves that makes it much easier to know what to say yes and no to so that we are truly motivated be who we want to be.  Here is the question from Robbins:

‘If my life was truly extraordinary, if it was magnificent, by my own definition, what would my life be like today: physically, emotionally, with my family, in my career, in my level of happiness?’

Robbins encourages us to “set the standard for yourself so your brain, body and soul know what you’re committed to creating.” I think what he is stressing is the importance of clarity in our lives.  The more clear we are as we answer this question the more clear our results will be.

So I leave you with Robbins question:

‘If my life was truly extraordinary, if it was magnificent, by my own definition, what would my life be like today: physically, emotionally, with my family, in my career, in my level of happiness?’

photo by:  Robert van der Steeg

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. “ ~ Goethe

The clock is ticking.  It still is.  Time doesn’t stop.  You only have a limited amount of time that you live on this earth.

As you close your eyes tonight - this very night - another day will have ended.  Will you look back at the day fulfilled - satisfied with how you spent your time?  If you were to write down all the things you did or all the ways you spent your time what would it reflect?

What/who is important to you?  Have you spent your time doing those things or with those people? -  or were you instead doing things that were screaming for your attention, but weren’t really important at all?

If you have been doing those things that are important or spending your time with those who are important to you HOW have you spent that time or HOW have you treated those people?  Does it reflect what is really important?

Things scream for our attention at all times.  Are they important?  Think about that.  Ponder…..   Are they really deep down important or do they just seem important?

Ways we spend our time:

* There are things we can be doing with our time that have no meaning or importance whatsoever.  They are simply time wasters.  They can even be enjoyable (they may not be.), but they ARE time wasters.  Nothing else can really be said about them.  If we were to really stop and think we would know what they are……  Go ahead.

* There are things we can be doing with our time that are problems or crisis that must be resolved now.  They are urgent.  They are important.  They have to be taken care of.

* There are things we can be doing with our time that are urgent and seem important, but may not be important at all.  They can be very tricky.  They MAY even be good things to do - even really good things, but they are not as good as the BEST things we could be doing with our time - the MOST important.

* And then there are things we can be doing with our time that are not urgent at all, but are important.  This is where most people do NOT spend their time, but where only REAL satisfaction lies.  This is where long term results are found.  It is about tending to the eternal side of us - the side that lives forever.  It is about people - relationship building.  It is about planning the things that are most important and doing them.  Other activities can give us a temporary sense of satisfaction - they make us feel good for the moment, but then…… the emptiness sets in.  It is real.  It is deep.  There is no denying it - if we are truly honest with ourselves.  There is no escaping it.  Or is there?  What if…  just

what if….

We learned to say NO?

What if we said NO to the time wasters?  What if we said NO to the good?  - What??? - You must think I’m crazy now.  What if we said NO to the really good?  - so that we could say YES to the BEST - to the IMPORTANT - the MOST IMPORTANT?  What would your life be like?  How would it change?

Your turn:

What/who do you want to say YES to?  What/who WILL you say YES to?

What/who MUST you say NO to in order to say YES?  What/who WILL you say NO to?

Now close your eyes.  Picture what your life will look like with all the YESes and NO’s in place.

Will you join with me in committing to not letting the most important things suffer at the expense of the less important things?

Remember when you say YES to something you are also saying NO to something else.  When you say NO to something you are also saying YES to something else.  Take some time now to write down what you WILL say YES and NO to?

* Note:  This post is inspired by life mixed with information from Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and First Things First.

photo by: nojhan

“If you aim at nothing, you’re sure to hit it.” ~ Danny Hall

It has certainly been a while since I have written a post.  I’ve been doing a lot of traveling, teaching and writing -  just not in the form of blog posts.  I’ve even done some speaking - something I thought I would never do - and I enjoyed it!  I’ve had some great adventures.

It is always my goal to make people think when I write or teach - to cause people to live more consciously.  I’ve been accused of doing just that many times over and I consider it a real compliment each time I hear it.  For much of my life I didn’t do a lot of “thinking” and it was very detrimental to me.  I’ve learned from personal experience that “thinking” - or living consciously makes me happier and helps me to have more peace so I enjoy sharing this gift with others.

Keeping this in mind,

Do you know who you want to be when you grow up?

We often ask children this question:  What do you want to do when you grow up?   Usually we get an occupation response like a fireman or doctor or football player.

My question for you goes deeper than an occupation.

Do you know WHO you want to be when you grow up?  - Do you know who you want to be today?

Do you know what kind of person you want to be?  For what do you want to be known or remembered?  What qualities and characteristics do you want others to see in you?  What is it that would really bring you satisfaction in your old age?  Is it fame and fortune or are other things more important?

My Experience:

A while back when I was studying Think and Grow Rich (It’s a book that I continue to read and learn a lot from at different stages and levels.), I decided to do one of the exercises that Mr. Hill recommended.  (I did more than one, but this one has had a huge impact and is what we’re focusing on today.)  In the Self-Confidence Formula, Mr. Hill recommends setting aside time daily to think of the person you intend to become and to create in your mind a clear mental picture of that person.

I decided to take some time to write in my journal a clear description of the person I wanted to be and intended to become and to read over it daily.  I like to read over it twice daily, but I shoot for at least once a day.  Honestly, I can say that I haven’t done it every single day, but at least several times a week.  And a word of caution, when I skip several days I slip and become less of this person I want to be.  That is a reminder to me to do it more often.  Sometimes I will lie down and concentrate on who I want to be for a few minutes.

This simple exercise has made a huge difference in my life.  It gives me direction and clarity and much peace as I’m moving in the direction I want to go and not just letting life “happen” to me or pass me by.  It changes the thoughts I have and the actions I take, my priorities and the decisions I make.  I found the most important thing in my description was to first of all live my life for God and to please Him.  I figured out the hard way that simply living for me brought me a lot of emptiness.  As I have focused more and more on pleasing God then I gained more and more peace and happiness.

So now the turn is yours:

Would it make a difference in your life if you knew exactly who you wanted to be?  Do you think you would have more peace with this knowledge and by actively and consciously working toward it?  How specifically would this help you?  Would it be worth an hour or so of your time to write out the description and then five to thirty minutes a day to read over it and think about/concentrate on it?  Would it help you make better use of your time/your life?  Would it help you make better decisions?  How would your life change?

The choice is yours….  The life you want is waiting for you.

Things to think about as you write your description:

• Who are you living for? (tip: Living for yourself brings emptiness.)
• Your priorities
• The values and characteristics and qualities that are important to you and that you want to possess.
• What things do you admire in others and why?
• Your natural God-given talents (Ex.-  Do you have a gift for encouraging others?)
• How you want your relationships to be
• At your 80th birthday what do you want people to say about you - or as you picture yourself kicked back in your ripe old age feeling satisfied about the life you’ve lived what would give you that sense of satisfaction?

I’m curious….  Have you ever written a description like this before?  If so, how did it affect your life?

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photo by: KOMUnews

I intended to write a blog post yesterday, but now I’m just thankful to be alive!  Instead of writing a blog post I was hunkered down in my closet praying and avoiding tornadoes that were literally all around me.  MUCH damage was done, a couple of lives lost, many injured and many many homes destroyed.  So now I’m just thankful for each breath, spending time with my wonderful husband and praying for the victims.  It is very interesting how everything can get put into perspective really fast.  God has been very gracious to me and I feel sure He will bless me with some opportunities to help the victims.

Many people will not have a great holiday weekend.  I hope each of you do have a happy holiday, count your blessings and give those who are special to you an extra hug.

More storms are projected for Monday…..

photo by:  Todd Young

“Leave  everyone  better than you found them.”

Well, it has now been a week since I sent out the challenge - since I challenged myself and challenged you - to leave every place, every person better than we found them.

I don’t know about you, but this has been fun. I want to tell you of my results and then hear of yours.  I can’t wait to hear yours!

I have to start out being honest.  There were times I forgot, but it was something that I really tried to keep at the forefront of my mind and do actively and it DID make a difference.

The responses I got varied - seemed to vary much more than I thought they would.

Every place:

One thing I did was picked up trash in the neighborhood each time I went out for a walk with my dog.  Ocassionally, I forgot or didn’t really see any, but many times I did.  Sometimes I would just pick up one thing, and sometimes I would have my hand full.  I even picked up a couple of nails (spikes) lying in the road.  That could have kept someone from being stranded.  It felt really good to be a part of the solution and not the problem!

There is a big field behind our house.  A few people have unfortunately thought it was a convenient place to throw out their trash - either in the form of trash bags full of trash or just their fast food trash from lunch.  However, much of what is out there is blown in by the wind.  Whatever the source of the trash, it just felt good to help clean this place up a little bit at the time.  (There’s more to pick up, but it’s a start.)

Every Person:

Strangers:

I often try to do this anyway, but I made an even bigger effort to smile at strangers.  This one was really interesting.  Maybe it was something about how I was doing it… I think I got a few smiles in return, but often people just would not look or looked in the other direction.  I smiled at the cashier at Target, but she never smiled back, no matter how much I smiled.  She looked at me in a way that seemed to say, “Why are you smiling at me?”  Obviously, I don’t really know what she was thinking, but she did seem perplexed at why I would smile at HER.  Maybe she’s just not used to people treating her nice, I don’t know what was going on, but maybe, just maybe my smile was able to break through in some way.  I’ll keep smiling.  I know it makes a difference.

People I know - In person:

I found myself looking for opportunities…  “How can I brighten their day?”  Sometimes it was difficult coming up with something to say, but I always tried to do so with some kind of sincere compliment - it had to be real.  (Well, sometimes I forgot, but I really tried to remember.)  This was really fun.  I got lots of smiles in return.

Sometimes, what I did was just listen to people - Sometimes I just took the time to listen and get to know them better - to say “You’re important to me.” -  just by taking the time, just by listening. I just wanted people to feel good about who they were.  I know I sure felt good by offering myself to them in this way and I believe they did too.

Once, I helped someone load some boxes in their car.  That felt really good.  But, first I took the time to talk to this person, to listen to them and to sincerely compliment them.  This was the most amazing result from this challenge so far to me.  This led to something extremely wonderful - it led to an amazing conversation about something we are both passionate about and a very likely partnership.  We figured out we had very similar goals and we have plans to discuss things further.  It may have never happened if I had not decided to leave her better than I found her!!

Email:

This one was a lot of fun!  Again, sometimes I forgot…..  After I sent the email, I would think, “Wait, I forgot….”  But I’m becoming even more conscious - and that’s moving in a good direction.  But when I remembered….

It was just a blast!  I would think until I came up with what I believed would really uplift the person - it always had to be sincere. I could tell that I really touched people.  I got the most wonderful responses back from this even though I was seeking none.  They were so thankful and then proceeded to give me sincere compliments in return.  I received more than double back - it not only felt good to give the compliments to begin with, but then I got some in return.  This was just fantastic!

Overall:

I am having so much fun with all of this!  I certainly see no reason at all to stop.  But, I see every reason to step it up and carry it further.  It’s definitely going to be something that I do for the rest of my life.  It made me feel so good to make others feel good.  And it made me feel good to help clean up God’s beautiful creation.

I LOVE how This challenge made me opportunity conscious, but even greater than that I started to just really WANT TO find someone to uplift.  It was almost like an addiction - in a really good way of course.  I would think, “Who can I make feel good about themselves?”  I started thinking, “Who can I email or send some kind of message to and what can I say to make them feel good?”  In other words, it wasn’t just about AS I go along, but I wanted to CREATE the opportunity.

Your turn:

Please tell your results of the “Make a Difference” challenge.

Will you continue this challenge with me?

Will you step it up a notch?