Prism Google Corner

Deadlock fun

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 18:45:00 +0000

Grandpa(the 1st boss ;) ) calls his secretary :

This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary calls her husband : This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband calls the secret lover : We cannot spend this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover calls the boy whom she is giving private tuition : This week we will have class as usual.
The boy calls his grandfather : Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.
Grandpa calls his secretary : Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement.

**************This is called deadlock**************************
Now U can understand DeAdLoCk in better sense than O.S. point of view…!!!
Haa haa haa..!!!!

Two little mischiefs and preachure

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 16:35:00 +0000

Two little boys, aged 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boy's mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,

“Do you know where God is, son?”

The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,

“Where is God?!”
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!”

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closest he asked, “What happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “Boss we are in BIG trouble this time.”

(”I just LOVE reading next line again and again”)
………..

…

…

…

…

…

…

….

“GOD is missing, and they think we did it!”

Beer drinker

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:20:00 +0000

A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."
The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai , the other in Canada and I'm here in London .
When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.
One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss. "
The man looked confused for a moment, then he laughs .... "Oh, no," he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" .
" The only thing is
...................
.................
...................
...................
....................
I just quit drinking!!!

Disappointed salesman

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 16:59:00 +0000

A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returned from his assignment to Saudi Arabia.

A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Saudis?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted, I was vfery confident that I would make a good sales pitch.
But I had a problem. I didn't know how to speak Arabic, so I planned to convey the message through three posters.

First poster: A man lying in the hot desert and totally exhausted and fainting.
Second poster: The man is drinking Coca-Cola.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And then these posters were pasted all over the place.

"Terrific! That should have worked!" said the friend.

"The hell it should have!" said the salesman.
"No one told me they read from right to left!"

Tragedy happens in India - Natural Disaster

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 14:05:00 +0000

Natural Disaster

5 people were sink by water flooded into the river suddenly in Uttar pradesh, India

Pathan Jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 18:28:00 +0000

Pathan bought a new mobile.

He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

============ ========= ========= ======
Pathan : I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Pathan : No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

============ ========= ========= ========= ===
Pathan : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Pathan : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Pathan : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Pathan : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Pathan : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Pathan : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again..

============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Pathan complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'

============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Pathan comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'

============ ========= ========= ========= ======
How do you recognize Pathan in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========
Once Pathan was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==
Pathan in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Pathan : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Pathan : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
Pathan told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====

Real meaning of Life

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 14:15:00 +0000

‘You have done a brilliant work Rajesh. You have been given ….rrrrhhhhh ……Raaaajjjeeeessshhhh ………… Raaaajjjeeeessshhhh .’- what!! I woke up from a sudden jerk. ‘Raaajeeessshhh… .’…I heard my wife yelling. What’s w/ her? Always yelling for something or the other. I can’t be in peace even in my dreams. Shucks!! Angrily, I kicked my blanket and got down. ‘Raaajesssh….’ ‘Coming Meera..what’s w/ you. Why are you shouting like this..’.
I hurried down the stairs. I saw Meera, my sweet(??!!) wife, sitting in the couch giving breakfast to my 7yr old daughter Achala. Both looked happy, watching TV. I got confused at the whole scenario. I came running down, expecting some kind of earthquake, but instead here everything was in place. I looked at my wife & daughter. She smiled at me back. Now, I more got confused, what’s happening here? Am I in a dream?

‘Meera…’

‘Yeah Rajesh…’

‘You called me. In fact yelled.’

‘Yes. You are right!’

‘Everything is fine here right? Why you screamed like that then…’

‘It’s ‘cos it’s going to be 8am now.’

I couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. Is she playing some kind of prank? Is this the time for all these? I have to be in office by 9am for a meeting.

‘Yes. It’s going to be 8am.Right! So…?’

‘Rajesh, don’t tell me, you forgot…today is 27th ‘

‘27th..What 27th?

‘Don’t tell me you don’t remember?’

Meera gave me an ‘I’ll kill you’ look. Is it her birthday? No it’s somewhere at the year end. Is it my daughter’s? No no , we celebrated last month only right. Got it. Should be our Anniversary.

‘Hey Meera, How will I forget our Anniversary…’

‘Whaattttttt? ???….Anniversaryy yyy???…..’

Got it. It’s not our anniversary. Before I get killed…What’s w/ 27th. What ?? what?? Come on Rajesh!! Think. Nothing hit my mind. I looked at my daughter for a clue. She turned her face away. What’s with all women? Why can’t they be straight forward & say things. With so much work pressure, how on earth I am supposed to remember all the dates?. If I say something, then Meera will pick up a fight, and I will miss the meeting, my whole day will be gone. I made up my mind to surrender.

‘Meera, Sorry, I don’t remember. This medicine I am taking for cough, Something happened..my memory is deteriorating ..What’s today?’ Meera doesn’t seem like buying that excuse from me.

‘Meera, please tell me’ I asked in a pitiable tone..

‘Rajesh..You don’t remember at all?’ I moved my head left & right meaning NO. I kept my face like I am a patient suffering from ‘amnesia'.

'Rajesh, As part of annual day celebrations, today is 'Daddy's Day' in Acchu's school. I have been telling you for the past 3 weeks. Now don’t tell me you forgot. You already promised that you will go with her to her school'

I couldn’t believe that I accepted for something like that. 'Meeraa..did I??'

'Yes. You did'

‘at what time it starts..?'

'By 8:30am and ends at 1pm'.

Gosh!! 9am!! I have such a critical meeting. How I will attend all these.

“Meera, you could have reminded me yesterday right?’

‘Oh I didn’t remind you? Great. I didn’t call to your office. Or remind you in the evening and before going to bed’

Might be I wouldn’t have heard it. Or slipped out of my memory. Whatever!!

'Meera! Can’t you attend all these. Why should I??'

"Rajesh. It’s Daddy's Day!...DADDY'ss!!!!!'

'Oh yeah....but. ..'

'But what????...'

'errrh....might be some other day...'

'What? You want the school to postpone the function?'

'No..No…actually. .what..I am saying is..'

'What Rajesh??? What?? Tell me. You promised Acchu and are you going to disappoint her? '

I stood there totally helpless. I looked at my daughter. She was all dressed up and ready to go. She looked like, she will cry any time. I saw Meera. She gave me a murderous look. I thought for a moment and my mind raced with many calculations. Important meeting. I can’t miss for sure. Half a day is too much. So many deliverables will get affected. I can’t face Meera again if I don’t go. Might be I can postpone the meeting by an hour and for name sake visit that function and escape to office.

'Meera, I will go, but I can spend only 1 hour..'

'No...that’s not..'

Before Meera finished the sentence, Acchu rushed to me 'Thanks daddy. 1hour. Mom, 1hour is enough mom. Please don’t fight mom. Daddy, get ready soon..' she nudged me.

‘Do you know her school name and the route for the school or you want me to tell???’ Asking that Meera threw me an angry look and left the living room. I rushed up, got ready. Called my manager & told that I got stuck in traffic jam and postponed the meeting to 10am.

I took Achala to her school. I felt somehow entering the school, ‘cos it’s the 2nd time, I am entering her school. In fact 1st time. I once dropped her outside her school gate. The school had a big playground, Small Park with all kids playing equipments. Some stalls were put up. So many kids with their fathers moved around here & there. Suddenly I felt some one touching my hand

‘Are you achala’s daddy?’ – A small kid asked. She had curly hair and bubbly smile.

‘Yes,,,My Daddy..…’ – Achala responded in an excited tone. And some kids ran towards me and Achala started introducing everyone.

‘Daddy! this is Rohit, this is zakir, Anis, Sylvia, Divya..’ – I told hello to everyone.

‘Daddy, Daddy, Zakir is my best friend.’ – I smiled at that cute blue eyed boy.

‘Uncle, Acchu told that you have so much work and you won’t be able to come. She told she won’t come in today. You don’t have work Uncle?’ – Zakir asked me.

I suddenly felt very bad on how my daughter has understood me. ‘No Zakir, I don’t have work’

‘Daddy, they are calling for the games. ‘ . Zakir ran to his father and waved his hands at me & achala. I took achala by hand and walked towards the stage. They were announcing the 1st game. Fathers will be given a sheet containing questions about their kids. Fathers have to fill about their kids which will be verified with the kids response.

Achala was all excited about the game and she was all set to go. But I felt shivers. I looked at my daughter. Suddenly, I felt very far from her, and the reality hit me, that I don’t know anything about my very own daughter. I blurted out ‘Acchu..we will attend the next game..This one ..’ She gave me a deep stare. I thought she is going to cry or shout or do something. But instead she pulled out a small paper from her jeans pocket and gave it to me. Completely baffled, I opened the sheet.

My name is Achala. My birthday March 21st. I am 7yrs old. I like butterfly. Superman. Dairy milk. painting. dancing. I am in 1st standard A section. I like Dora. Mango. Apple. Fried rice. Jelly. I don’t like banana. I drink boost.. I like yellow color. My nick name is ‘Honey dew’

And the list went on with small, small spelling mistakes. I looked at Acchu. ‘Daddy, read it, I know they will keep this game. So I wrote it 2 days back itself, to give you if you come. If they ask anything about me, write there. Ok Now go & attend the game’. Most of the things, my daughter has written & gave me, I never knew anything about it. I suddenly felt a lump in my throat. I went to the stage waved my hand to Acchu and got the question sheet. Since Acchu gave the sheet, I came to know about her & I answered almost all the questions. Then they asked Acchu on stage and asked the questions to her. We got the 2nd highest mark in that game. Acchu came running towards me and hugged me. They gave a ‘toy guitar’. Everyone congratulated us. Thou’ I won that game, I felt like a loser. I know, I don’t deserve this. I don’t know anything about my daughter.

She looked very happy showing that guitar to her best friend, zakir . What a kid she is. Understanding that her dad is totally hopeless and don’t want to let her dad down, before others she prepared that sheet and gave to me. The lump in my throat started getting bigger and my heart became heavy. I caressed her hair. What a beautiful smile she has and such big eyes. Does she miss a wing to get qualified as an angel? I have never admired my daughter or even watched her in all these years. She has that cute dimple of Meera’s as well as her eyes. Does that curling lip edges when she smiles, is mine? How I missed all this in my life.

Achala pulled me to the stalls there and I got some eatables and ballons for her and zakir.. She kept talking about the next game and suddenly my mobile rang. Oops!! Is it already 10am. I looked at Acchu . Suddenly her face became dark. She looked totally upset and asked in an low voice ‘Daddy! You have to leave now?’

I looked at my mobile. My manager was calling. It’s already 10am. I looked at Acchu. I looked around. All those happy kids with their fathers. I thought about my school days, where my dad used to come for all sports day, annual day, sit with me, cheer me up. Every day morning, while dropping me to school, he will wait near the gate until my head disappear. Evening, he will come & pick me up in his cycle, and I will be telling him all the stories that happened that day in school.

I saw Acchu. How many untold stories my daughter has kept in her heart to say me? I thought about all those days, where I yearned for a girl child and I wonder, how much of my time I gave her.

I pulled her closer, gave a kiss on her fore head ‘No Honey! I am not going. I will be here only…we will attend all games and roam around whole day.ok?’

‘Really?’ – She asked in an unbelievable tone.

‘Yes sweetz’

‘Thank you Daddy!’ – Achala kissed my cheeks and ran to her friends. School teaches you something or the other always. This time, ‘back to school’ has taught me a wonderful life’s lesson. I called my manager & told that am running high fever and can’t come in today. I know, I can handle things tomorrow. Today my daughter needs me more than anyone can need me in this world. With a lighter heart, I got up; ran towards Acchu, lifted her and gave her a big swing. She erupted into an uncontrollable laughter. The lump in my throat started melting away.

Life is often misinterpreted… We work to live and not live to work…

Search the real meaning of Life…

A Poetic Resignation Letter

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 15:42:00 +0000

Associate :
The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.
To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!
The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.

Thanks & Regards
James

Manager Response :

Reply: What I want to say? (Manager)
The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad
Keep moving in life that is what I can say
If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want
Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them
That is what I can say
Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)
From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you
You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work

It's always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one
But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one
This is all what I want to say
Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)
Once done you can take all your cash
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.
At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any....

You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don't feel shy
As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi....
That is all what I want to say.

Ex-Wife Revenge

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 15:19:00 +0000

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed.

Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place..

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home....
.
.
.
including the curtain rods.

WE LOVE A HAPPY ENDINGS …. DON'T WE??? ;-)

Fantastic reply to a Pretty Girl

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 17:59:00 +0000

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(? ), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks & are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, & who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Awesome reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...
Signed,
CEO J.P Cement

Money walk

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 17:32:00 +0000

Tribute to Pandit Bhimsen Joshi

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 12:21:00 +0000

Bhimsen Joshi was known for his powerful voice, amazing breath control, fine musical sensibility and unwavering grasp of the fundamentals, representing a subtle fusion of intelligence and passion that imparted life and excitement to his music.
A classicist by training, and temperament, Pandit Bhimsen Joshi was renowned for having evolved an approach that sought to achieve a balance between what may be termed as "traditional values and mass-culture tastes" and as such he went on to have supposedly the largest commercially recorded repertoire in Hindustani vocal music.

The first Charan of song “mile sur mera thumhara” was sung by Bhimsen ji !

Awards and Recognitions
• 1972 - Padma Shree
• 1976 - Sangeet Natak Akademi Award
• 1985 - Padma Bhushan
• 1985 - National Film Award for Best Male Playback Singer
• 1986 - "First platinum disc"
• 1999 - Padma Vibhushan
• 2000 - "Aditya Vikram Birla Kalashikhar Puraskar"
• 2001 - "Nadoja Award" from Kannada University
• 2002 - Maharashtra Bhushan
• 2003 - "Swathi Sangeetha Puraskaram" by Government of Kerala
• 2005 - Karnataka Ratna
• 2008 - Bharat Ratna
• 2008 - "Swami Haridas Award"
• 2009 - "Lifetime achievement award" by Delhi government
• 2010 - "S V Narayanaswamy Rao National Award" by Rama Seva Mandali, Bangalore

A Small Story on Software engineers

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 17:19:00 +0000

A Junior Software engineer, a Senior Software engineer and their Project Manager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each".

So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.

"Pfufffff" and he was gone.

Now the Senior Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.

"Pfufffff" and he was also gone.

The Project Manager calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 1.30pm"

Moral of the story is: "Always allow the boss to speak first"

Face book Shut Down

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 16:03:00 +0000

FACEBOOK WILL END ON MARCH 15th!

PALO ALTO, CA –Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook will be shut down in March. Managing the site has become too stressful.

“Facebook has gotten out of control,” said Zuckerberg in a press conference outside his Palo Alto office, “and the stress of managing this company has ruined my life. I need to put an end to all the madness.”

Zuckerberg went on to explain that starting March 15th, users will no longer be able to access their Facebook accounts.

“After March 15th the whole website shuts down,” said Avrat Humarthi, Vice President of Technical Affairs at Facebook. “So if you ever want to see your pictures again, I recommend you take them off the internet. You won’t be able to get them back once Facebook goes out of business.”

Zuckerberg said that the decision to shut down Facebook was difficult, but that he does not think people will be upset.

“I personally don’t think it’s a big deal,” he said in a private phone interview. “And to be honest, I think it’s for the better. Without Facebook, people will have to go outside and make real friends. That’s always a good thing.”

Some Facebook users were furious upon hearing the shocking news.

“What am I going to do without Facebook?” said Denise Bradshaw, a high school student from Indiana. “My life revolves around it. I’m on Facebook at least 10 hours a day. Now what am I going to do with all that free time?”

However, parents across the country have been experiencing a long anticipated sense of relief.

“I’m glad the Facebook nightmare is over,” said Jon Guttari, a single parent from Detroit. “Now my teenager’s face won’t be glued to a computer screen all day. Maybe I can even have a conversation with her.”

Those in the financial circuit are criticizing Zuckerberg for walking away from a multibillion dollar franchise. Facebook is currently ranked as one of the wealthiest businesses in the world, with economists estimating its value at around 7.9 billion.

But Zuckerberg remains unruffled by these accusations. He says he will stand by his decision to give Facebook the axe.

“I don’t care about the money,” said Zuckerberg. “I just want my old life back.”

The Facebook Corporation suggests that users remove all of their personal information from the website before March 15th. After that date, all photos, notes, links, and videos will be permanently erased.

ICC World Cup 2011 Schedule

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 18:04:00 +0000

ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 will be the 10th World Cup. Prior to the ICC Cricket World Cup 2011, 9 Cricket World Cups have been organized by ICC. It will be hosted by three South Asian Test cricket playing countries; India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh. It will take place during the months of February and March 2011, with the first match being played on 19 February 2011.

29 matches out of 49 will be played in India including one quarterfinal, semi-final and final, 12 matches in Sri Lanka including one quarterfinal and semifinal and eight matches in Bangladesh including two quarterfinals.

Groups:
A: Australia, Pakistan, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, Zimbabwe, Canada, Kenya

B: India, South Africa, England, West Indies, Bangladesh, Ireland, Netherlands
Schedule:
Saturday 19 Feb – Bangladesh v India, Dhaka
Sunday 20 Feb – New Zealand v Kenya, Chennai
Sunday 20 Feb – Sri Lanka v Canada, Hambantota
Monday 21 Feb – Australia v Zimbabwe, Ahmedabad
Tuesday 22 Feb – England v Netherlands, Nagpur
Wednesday 23 Feb – Pakistan v Kenya, Hambantota
Thursday 24 Feb – South Africa v West Indies, New Delhi
Friday 25 Feb – Australia v New Zealand, Nagpur
Friday 25 Feb – Bangladesh v Ireland, Dhaka
Saturday 26 Feb – Sri Lanka v Pakistan, Colombo
Sunday 27 Feb – India v England, Kolkata
Monday 28 Feb – West Indies v Netherlands, New Delhi
Monday 28 Feb – Zimbabwe v Canada, Nagpur
Tuesday 1 Mar – Sri Lanka v Kenya, Colombo
Wednesday 2 Mar – England v Ireland, Bangalore
Thursday 3 Mar – South Africa v Netherlands, Mohali
Thursday 3 Mar – Pakistan v Canada, Colombo
Friday 4 Mar – New Zealand v Zimbabwe, Ahmedabad
Friday 4 Mar – Bangladesh v West Indies, Dhaka
Saturday 5 Mar – Sri Lanka v Australia, Colombo
Sunday 6 Mar – India v Ireland, Bangalore
Sunday 6 Mar – England v South Africa, Chennai
Monday 7 Mar – Kenya v Canada, New Delhi
Tuesday 8 Mar – Pakistan v New Zealand, Pallekele
Wednesday 9 Mar – India v Netherlands, New Delhi
Thursday 10 Mar – Sri Lanka v Zimbabwe, Pallekele
Friday 11 Mar – West Indies v Ireland, Mohali

Friday 11 Mar – Bangladesh v England, Chittagong
Saturday 12 Mar – India v South Africa, Nagpur
Sunday 13 Mar – New Zealand v Canada, Mumbai
Sunday 13 Mar – Australia v Kenya, Bangalore
Monday 14 Mar – Pakistan v Zimbabwe, Pallekele
Monday 14 Mar – Bangladesh v Netherlands, Chittagong
Tuesday 15 Mar – South Africa v Ireland, Kolkata
Wednesday 16 Mar – Australia v Canada, Bangalore
Thursday 17 Mar – England v West Indies, Chennai
Friday 18 Mar – Sri Lanka v New Zealand, Mumbai
Friday 18 Mar – Ireland v Netherlands, Kolkata
Saturday 19 Mar – Australia v Pakistan, Colombo
Saturday 19 Mar – Bangladesh v South Africa, Dhaka
Sunday 20 Mar – Zimbabwe v Kenya, Kolkata
Sunday 20 Mar – India v West Indies, Chennai
Wednesday 23 Mar – First quarter-final, Dhaka
Thursday 24 Mar – Second quarter-final, Colombo
Friday 25 Mar – Third quarter-final, Dhaka
Saturday 26 Mar – Fourth quarter-final, Ahmedabad
Tuesday 29 Mar – First semi-final, Colombo
Wednesday 30 Mar – Second semi-final, Mohali
Saturday 2 April – Final, Mumbai

Boys Vs Girls

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 11:39:00 +0000

The Ostrich

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 10:59:00 +0000

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a great figure and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Bangalore Areas in mean

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 10:43:00 +0000

Marathahalli
Halli in Kannada means village. A fighter aircraft named Marut had an accident in this area; So the area is called Marathahalli.

BTM Layout
BTM Layout (an abbreviation of Bannerghatta, Tavarekere and Madivala Layout)

Malleswaram
Malleswaram, located in the north-west of Bangalore, derives its name from the famous Kaadu Malleshwara temple.

HSR Layout
Hosur Sarjapur Road Layout (popularly known as HSR Layout) is a relatively new suburb located to the south-east of Bangalore, India. The layout, which is built on land reclaimed from the Agara lake, is located between Hosur Road and Sarjapur Road.
Arekere
Are in Kannada means half. Kere in Kannada means a water reservoir or pond. The origin of the name "Arekere" comes comes from a water reservoir which is in the area.

Banashankari
Banashankari is a neighborhood in South Bengaluru. It gets its name from the Banashankari Amma Temple on Kanakapura Road, one of Bengaluru's oldest and most famous temples, which was constructed by Subramanya Shetty in 1915.
Basavanagudi
The name "Basavanagudi" refers to the Bull Temple that is located here. It is a monolith statue of the Nandi Bull. Basava in Kannada, the local language, means Bull and Gudi means temple. Hence, the name Basavanagudi

Basaveshwaranagar
It is named after poet-king Basaveshwara. Basaveshwaranagar is also known to have a 100 year old tree "The Big Banyan Tree - Dodda Aalada Mara" which was a home for hundreds of monkeys now a known public park in the vicinity.

Domlur
Domlur is a small township located in the eastern part of Bangalore city in India. Earlier it was known as Bhagat Singh Nagar, but for some unknown reasons, it is better known as Domlur. There is a debate over the exact meaning of Domlur. From what can be deciphered from old people living in the area, Domlur is a word derived from Tombalur, a kind of flower which is used to worship Lord Shiva. This is further supported by the inscriptions found in Chokkanathaswamy temple in Domlur, which is believed to be constructed by Cholas

Electronics City
Electronics City is an electronics industrial park spread over 332 acres (1.3 km) in Konappana Agrahara and Doddathogur villages, just outside Bangalore, India. It houses more than a hundred industries, including IT industry leaders such as Wipro,Hewlett-Packard, Motorola, Infosys, CGI, Siemens, ITI,Satyam etc. The area is maintained by Keonics, which provides all the necessary infrastructure.

Halasuru
Halasuru formerly known as Ulsoor, is one of the oldest neighbourhoods in the Indian city of Bangalore. It has a predominant Tamil speaking population and is renowned for its numerous temples and rather narrow streets.

Hebbal
Once indicative of the North endpoint of the city. Though originally famous for Hebbal Lake, it is now better known for the serpentine maze of flyovers The flyover spanning a length of 6.25 kilometres over all the loops combined, is the longest flyover in India.The lake is well known for the park, the boating facility and for the bird watching opportunities.

Jayanagar
Jayanagar means - literally - "Victory City". Jayanagar was traditionally regarded as the southern end of Bangalore. The "South End Circle", wherein six roads from different areas meet, and the historic Ashoka Pillar (which was to mark the southern end of the city) bear this fact. While newer extensions have taken away this distinction from Jayanagar, it still remains one of the more southern parts of the city.

Jeevanbheemanagar
Originally, the area was reserved for employees of LIC (?Jeevan Bheema)and KPWD. Therefore the area predominantly consists of LIC quarters (types L,M,N,P) and KPWD quarters (types A,D).

Rajajinagar
Rajajinagar got its name from Rajaji the great freedom fighter from Southern part of India. It has many schools and colleges that gives the best coaching. It boasts of having the highest number of bar and restaurants in Bangalore.

Rajarajeshwari Nagar
Rajarajeshwari Nagar received its name from the famous Rajarajeshwari Nagar temple that is located just over one kilometer from the arch.

Vijayanagar
It derives its name from the Vijayanagara empire that flourished in south India during 15th and 16th centuries.Vijayanagar East is popularly known as RPC Layout (Railway Parallel Colony Layout), since this layout is along the railway track. It has been recently renamed as Hampi Nagar. Hampi was the capital of the Vijayanagar Empire. Vijayanagar also houses a large Public Library, which is one of the largest in Karnataka.

Nagarbhavi
Nagarbhavi means literally "a well of snakes". The name is due to the high number of snakes present in the area. Also, some believe that it is called a "well" because of the surrounding hillocks that are no longer present due to urbanization. Nagarbhavi is located between Mysore road and Magadi road.

Whitefield
Until the late 1980s, Whitefield was a small village which was a retirement colony for Anglo-Indians. It remains a legacy of the British rule in India. It is renowned for Sathya Sai Baba's ashram called Brindavan and as a heaven for a number of multinational information technology companies.

IT Mannerism

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 10:31:00 +0000

☼ ☼ SIDE EFFECTS of working in the IT sector !!! ☼ ☼

These are real life anecdotes shared by IT workers.

Bhavik

I once left home to go to the market wearing my Infosys ID card
and did not realize till my friend asked me why I was wearing it !!!!

Bhabani

Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with keys.

__________________________________________________________

Ashok

Few days back I slept at 12:00 in the night and woke up in the morning
at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 8 hours and
laughed at myself when I realized that I am at home.

__________________________________________________________

Jyotsna

Just after our training completion in Mysore and posting to Pune,
me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants. .
And as I finished.. I started walking towards the wash basin with Plates in my hand..
___________________________________________________________

Abhijeet

Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around.
I went on to ask, "Why is she not attending the status call?"
_________________________________________________________

Anup

I don't login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc..
at my personal internet connection at home...
thinking it will be blocked any way.
Till I realize - I am at home.
____________________________________________________________

Rohit

Yeah sometimes it do happens with me also.
keeping hands in front of tap for waiting
water to drop by itself is very frequent with me.
I just forget that we have to turn on and off the tap....
____________________________________________________________

Nidhi

Once after talking to one of my friends
I ended the conversation saying,
" Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back"
___________________________________________________________

Nisha

Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message
from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe it’s in the recycle bin

_______________________________________________________________

Nisha

I gave my office mail id and password to access Gmail and
wondered when they became invalid???

__________________________________________________________

Sandeep

Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab....
pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg.....
I replied 256mg....thank god he didn't notice.
____________________________________________________________

Ashwin

Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching
from a news channel to the DVD while watching TV.
_____________________________________________________________

Vidyarthi

And I - after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder,
decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie,
when I wanted to check the time,
I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the theatre screen!
_____________________________________________________________

Blog Submission with Google

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 19:55:00 +0000

Following Steps:
1. ping the blog with google blog search with following link:
http://blogsearch.google.com/ping

2. Add your Blog URL to the Google Index with following link:
http://www.google.com/addurl/?continue=/addurl

3.Sign into the google webmaster tools and analyze and optimize your website statistics:
http://www.google.com/webmasters/
(a) Add your blog(or)website
(b) submit your blog/website sitemap

4. Ping your blog to many possible web directory sites.

Teddy Bear...History

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:37:00 +0000

The lovable teddy bear can be found in various forms all around the world. It shows up primarily in stuffed animal form, but is also found on t-shirts, dresses, posters, lunch boxes, and more. Most people do not know that teddy bears haven't been around that long. In fact, the teddy bear was invented in the U.S. and Germany almost at the same time during the early 20th century.

In November 1902, U.S. President Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt was involved in a hunting expedition in Mississippi. He was in the area in order to settle a border dispute between Mississippi and Louisiana. An avid hunter, Roosevelt was disappointed because he couldn't find any big game to shoot during the hunt. In response, his host caught a black bear cub and tied it to a tree so Roosevelt could kill it.

Legend has it that Roosevelt refused to shoot the bear, reasoning that the action would be cruel since the animal was tethered to a tree and defenseless. After hearing about this incident, artist Clifford Berryman drew a cartoon of Roosevelt and the bear. He then had the cartoon published in the Washington Post.

That very same month, Brooklyn store owners Morris and Rose Michtom created a soft bear toy. They dubbed it "Teddy's Bear" and placed it in the shop window along with a copy of Berryman's cartoon. To their surprise, Americans loved the idea and clamored to buy teddy bears. The original Teddy's Bear sported a chubby body, a face shaped like a triangle, and long arms and legs. Soon, the Michtoms grew rich from the proceeds and were able to begin the Ideal Novelty and Toy Company.

During the same time period, a disabled German woman named Margarete Steiff owned a soft toy factory in the city of Giengen. Her company included a soft bear in its toy catalog. Earlier, her nephew Richard had convinced Steiff to add bears to her list of toys. Reportedly, Richard had a fondness for bears and thought they would make a good addition to Steiff's product list.

Steiff began to manufacture soft bears, never realizing how popular they would become. In 1903, she sold 3000 toy bears to people in the United States. Between 1903 and the start of World War I, millions of bears were purchased from the Steiff toy catalog. Each bear had a button sewn in the left ear, the toys' People in England, the U.S., and Germany all bought toys from Steiff's company.

Indian and American

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:03:00 +0000

An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun-game.

The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa."

Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."

This gets the Indian 's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."

So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American thinks about it. No answer.

Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer!

He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers.

Checks the input. All to no avail!

Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.

The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.

The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks,

"Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American $5,

and goes back to sleep!

Young man and the Bulls

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 08:49:00 +0000

A young man wished to marry the farmer's beautiful daughter. He went to the farmer to ask his permission.

The farmer looked at him and said, "Son, go stand out in that field. I'm going to release three bulls, one at a time. If you can catch the tail of any one of the three bulls, you can marry my daughter."

The young man stood in the field awaiting the first bull. The barn door opened and out came the biggest, meanest looking bull he had ever seen. He decided that one of the next bulls had to be a better choice than this one, so he ran over to the side and let the bull pass through.

The barn door opened again. Unbelievable. . He had never seen anything so big and fierce in his life. It stood pawing the ground, it eyed him. Whatever the next bull was like, it had to be a better choice than this one he thought. He ran to the fence and let the bull pass through.

The door opened a third time. A smile came across his face. This was the weakest bull he had ever seen. This one was his bull, he said to himself. As the bull came running by, he positioned himself just right and jumped at just the exact moment. He threw his hands to grab..... But alas..... The bull had no tail.

Moral : Life is full of opportunities, true, but always grab the first one.. bcoz U never know what’s in store

This is what happens when one is not ready to go out of their comfort zone and act … to achieve extraordinarily, it’s always important to see & act beyond our comfort zones, for the result we expect to achieve … else the results will also be limited and never extra-ordinary

Cocodle Help a child

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:24:00 +0000

-Help a child, start using Cocodle!

Cocodle , powered by Google Custom Search, is an initiative towards helping underprivileged and differently-abled children with the revenue generated through online search.

What all we are asked for is to just use the site, nothing more. With Cocodle, you will get the same results you get in Google for any particular search, but it gives you one more good reason to search with your favorite search engine - and that is " helping underprivileged and differently-abled children across the globe ".

We finally have got the chance to help these children without having to donate any money or do any extra work.

If you think internet is one of the biggest boon to mankind, let's share a little of it with those children who never got to see it .

Our Concept

Although most often we are bound by limitations, there are still many ways to serve the human race. And here we are with a way to serve the world by helping differently-abled and underprivileged children with the support from each one of you. Our concept is simple and all that we ask for is to use this website to search the internet. We guarantee that you will get the same search result quality (although some features like authority status, related searches, calculations, etc. may not be available at present) as you get from Google as our search is powered by Google itself (Google Custom Search).

Our Objective

Every search that you do through Cocodle.com will contribute towards helping disabled and orphaned children across the world. We are going to emphasize on helping differently-abled and underprivileged children, first locally and then globally as we grow. The revenue that we generate may be minimal at the beginning phase, but we are committed towards helping these children with as much as we can, and we do believe we will grow with time and with your support.

We will also actively develop and maintain this website. We have both short term as well as long terms goals and objectives towards helping these children and towards developing the website further. But we will thrive only when you support us. We are not asking for any money or wealth but requesting you to use this site to search the internet. If you love Google, you will surely love us as our search is also powered by Google Custom Search.

Our Activities

Our main activities will include sponsoring differently-abled and underprivileged children for education and healthcare needs. We will start by supporting already existing non-profit organizations and their activities to support these children. We will update on this website what we have done and what we will be doing towards helping differently-abled and underprivileged children. Our events and activities will be highlighted on this site and we go. Please support us by using us, that's all we ask for.

For any queries and feedback, please use our contact us page or mail us at cocodle.support@gmail.com.

Deer running over water

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 05:19:00 +0000

I bet one of the best photo U've ever seen
Have you ever seen a Deer running over water ?

It requires a speed of 85 kmph with a foot placing of 1 inch to walk on water.
So what ?? See the photograph to believe it!