Private Complaints

Am I a secretary?

2012-10-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

Why do I have to deal with all this shit? What's my share of work? I have to make doctor appointments and negotiate everything. I felt like I am a secretary handling the details and making phone calls. Will this ever change? It's really annoying that she can't take care of her own business. I will explode one day. Sigh.

Do I fit?

2012-01-24T19:50:00.000-08:00

It seems to me that I have the same question every couple weeks: "do I really fit in a corporate world?" or "do I really fit into a manager role?" I think my desire is to build a great product and lead product directions. I don't want non-sense politic bullshit. Though I managed to convince myself that things such as
1. dealing with jerk like Kenneth
2. dealing with Mr. Negativity like Jeff
3. other....

I think I need to grow myself to overcome these negative thoughts so I can advance into next stage. Probably helpful at home as well.

Already 2012

2012-01-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

Stumbled upon this blog (?!) and realized that I myself created this hate-mail site for myself 2 years ago. Funny is that I only posted twice. I guess I was happy after that? I don't think that's possible. In many ways, I am still in the same position as 2 years ago. I made some progress tho: new house, new position (sucks more?), going to become a landlord soon..... Any ways, maybe this is a good place to keep myself sane. I should keep on writing to myself.

Welcome back, ugly me.

Can't get up to do anything

2010-01-04T12:17:00.000-08:00

Funny, or not funny, I can't seem to get up and do anything today. The anxiety at the back of my head is eating me. I can't sleep either. I definitely need to sleep a little bit and pull myself together to get some work done. I guess I am abusing the merit of "work-from-home". It's 1:20 PM now and the only work I've done so far is an 1 hr 30 mins conference call. To my own defense, the conf call kills me, drives me nuts.

Anyways, I am gonna put the icy pack over my head and try to get some sleep. Even 15 minutes will help.

Private Complaints Created

2010-01-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

2010 just started. Today is the first working day of 2010. I just realized one thing: my spirit is moving in the opposite direction with the rest of world. My emotion is greatly affected by the cheerfulness of the world. I don't feel happiness when decorating the Christmas tree; when receiving Christmas presents; when the crystal ball falling in the Time Square.

Why? Why am I such a freak? anti-social? or whatever I am? I don't know. Maybe it's a self-protecting mechanism. Just don't want to go-with-the-flow with the world.

Just when I am writing this post, I am actually in a conference call with co-workers from UK. They just drive me crazy. We spent hours just to argue the requirements document is not accurate and who is to blame. I am just tired of talking about this crap. You can't blame me for YOU not reading the document that I put out months ago. That is just ridiculous.

I need a place to blow-off-the-steam, per say. I have FB, Plurk, tweeter, and 2 blogs where I should be able to express my frustration and anger towards the world. However, I guess I am too chicken to let people that I am mad at know about my feelings. I don't want to let my coworkers know that I am sick of my job; I don't want to let my wife know that I hate living with her; I don't want to let people know that I want to kill myself....

All that thoughts lead to here: my private complaints. All my negative thoughts should come here and be buried here. So long, the ugly me.