Now I know that sounds a bit odd. After all, the word “writing” is in the word “copywriting.” So it’s understandable why you might misunderstand.

But writing and copywriting are two very different things.

When you write a novel or a poem, readers want great words. They enjoy the rhythm, the imagery, the wordplay. People expect this kind of writing to deliver a certain art and beauty.

When you write websites, ads, white papers, or other business materials, readers simply want information. They don’t care about the artistry. They aren’t looking for beauty. They just want to find out how to solve a problem or meet a need.

This isn’t to say that copywriting can’t be well-crafted. It should be. But it should be crafted in such a way that the words disappear and the meaning shows through. I like to think of good copywriting as if it’s a toy store window, clean, polished, and invisible, providing a clear view of the wondrous goodies inside.

So when copywriters forget that their job is to convey meaning, to connect with needs, to influence and persuade, they focus on the words alone and create, well … crap. When you do this, it’s not that you’re stupid. It’s just that you’re ignorant.

Ignorant of the purpose of your copy. Ignorant of the meaning of your product or service. And ignorant of the perceptions of your readers. In other words, even beautifully-crafted copy can go bad when you pay too much attention to how you say something and ignore the meaning of what you’re saying.

How do you avoid this?

You must reach into the world other people live in. For example, if you’re a liberal and you’re writing web copy for a conservative website, you have to abandon your own views and immerse yourself in the world view of people who think differently.

You must empathize with the feelings and beliefs of your readers. They say you can’t understand someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. So become a shoe thief, walk, jog, run in as many shoes as you can. You have to feel what others feel to write copy that connects with them.

You must have an interest in everything … and then some. In a recent conversation, a writer told me that he hates projects about things he has no interest in. How can you be a copywriter if you’re not curious about new things? You should know a little about everything.

You must be a quick study. Copywriting is always on a deadline. You have to inhale information and understand it rapidly. You have to be a pregnant woman in the morning and a retired trucker in the afternoon. A senator on Monday, a heart surgeon on Wednesday, and a champion cyclist on Friday.

You must always do your homework. Read everything. Ask questions. Take notes. And when you think you know it all, keep digging. As Edmund Burke said, “Facts are to the mind what food is to the body.” (Edmund Burke? Could I have chosen a more arcane reference?)

You must be willing to change your copy to meet a goal. You can’t be a diva. Yes, you spend hours or days or weeks writing and rewriting. But if the copy doesn’t do the job, you have to let go. Top writers are ruthless editors and heartless revisionists.

You must recover from mistakes and learn from them. We all make them. What separates good writers from great writers is that great writers learn from mistakes and become greater. Lesser writers make excuses, react stubbornly, and get defensive.

If you’re a copywriter, you’re probably pretty smart. What you have to watch out for is being ignorant.

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When you think about it, that’s not that much to keep up with industry news and the latest tips and technologies. It’s easy to pay even more. However, I told him I do the same thing for free.

For many publications, especially in business niches, there aren’t enough subscribers to make subscription fees profitable. The real money comes from advertising space.

So publishers frequently employ a strategy called “controlled circulation.” Basically, they provide free subscriptions to boost circulation and allow them to earn more from selling ads.

As I write this, I don’t spend a dime on business subscriptions. Every marketing or business publication I get is free.

A few years ago, I set up a “store” where you too can subscribe to a wide variety of trade business magazines for free. There are also a lot of reports, industry guides, white papers, and downloads.

Publications don’t offer this deal all the time. So publications come and go in the store. However, if you keep checking, you can eventually amass an impressive collection of subscriptions, even for publications that ordinarily charge hefty fees.

Click here to browse the current offers. And don’t be shy. These subscriptions really ARE free. And you can ask for as many as you want.

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Break your alarm clock. You know you’re sleeping in. You don’t need that thing to keep beeping at you.

Fix a healthy breakfast. You’ve promised yourself you’ll stop munching on half a box of donuts and chugging a gallon of coffee every morning. Oatmeal, grapefruit, orange juice. That’s what you need.

Look for the donuts. You don’t have any oatmeal, grapefruit, or orange juice.

Make a grocery list. Include oatmeal, grapefruit, and orange juice. Oh, and a new alarm clock.

Floss. Those donuts will rot your teeth. And you promised your dentist you’d do it at least once a day from now on. Use the ribbon floss, not the round kind that gets stuck in your teeth.

Revise your grocery list. Add ribbon floss. Mint flavored.

Call your dentist. Ask how to get that round floss out of your teeth.

Check your voice mail. You thought you heard the phone ring this morning but you aren’t sure. Could have been a dream.

Check your email. You want to get it out of the way so you can start your writing project.

Wait for inspiration. You want to write something special. An idea will hit you as soon as all that donut sugar kicks in.

Doodle on a note pad. This should shake things loose and get the ideas flowing. Draw a smiley face. Draw a house with a curly wisp of smoke rising from the chimney. Draw that 3-D box where you can’t tell whether the open end is pointing up or down.

Sharpen pencils. Doodling doesn’t work with pen because you can’t erase mistakes.

Go to OfficeMax. You don’t have pencils. But you’ve been meaning to buy some. There’s something comforting and familiar about good old-fashioned number 2 pencils.

Get a sharpener while you’re at it. Yeah, they still make those. Look for your favorite color. Purple. No. Green.

Browse the folder section. You’re into GTD now, so you need 43 folders to get organized and productive.

Have lunch out. Might as well. Good thing you brought your laptop. You can get some work done. You love to work in public restaurants. It makes you feel so productive.

Watch some YouTube videos. Who are you kidding? You can’t eat and type at the same time. Just relax. The video with the talking monkey is a hoot.

Post the monkey video on your Facebook wall. Your friends will love it.

Tweet about your writing project. You really need to tweet more often. You’ve been ignoring your social media accounts.

Go home and check your voice mail again. You’ve been gone longer than you expected.

Listen to your voice mail message. You’ve never liked it. You had a cold when you recorded it.

Write and record a new message. It’s important to present yourself professionally. Record it several times to get it just right.

Look for some inspirational writing music. You should have thought of this before. Music always helps you think of ideas and write better.

Make a categorized list of inspirational writing music. It will save you time and make you more productive next time.

Get out that fancy quill pen and foolscap your grandmother got you for Christmas. This is the way writers used to write. Maybe this will get you in the right frame of mind.

Look up “foolscap” on Wikipedia. I mean what the heck is that anyway?

Dust your desk. Who can work at a desk that looks like this?

Straighten up your files. You have notes and background information all over the place. Time to start that 43 folder thing. No time like the present.

Oh, hell, clean your whole office. It’s a mess.

Check your Facebook page for comments on that monkey video. Nothing? Okay, back to work.

Write the headline of that thing you’re writing. Hey, not bad. You’re off to a good start.

Program your DVR. Sheech. You almost forgot. That program is on tonight and you don’t want to miss it.

Get a cup of coffee. You always feel a little sleepy in the afternoon.

Write the first sentence. Nice. Now you’re starting to feel the momentum.

Look at your email. Wow. Where did all that stuff come from? Better read through it all and handle it now. Inbox to zero, baby!

Check Facebook again. Why isn’t anyone commenting on that monkey video? You need new friends.

Color code your day planner. You’ve been meaning to do this for a long time. Think carefully about which colors you use for which items.

Read that long chain email someone forwarded to you. You hate those things. But this one is really well-written.

Forward that chain email to all your friends. You don’t believe in the bad luck thing if you break the chain, but why take chances?

Write a detailed apology to the friend you sent that chain email to who asked you not to send stuff like that anymore. You just forgot. It was an honest mistake.

Think about where you’d like to go for vacation. You’re really stressed and deserve some down time.

Write the first couple paragraphs. Okay. You have a headline, a strong first sentence, and now a couple paragraphs. You might make that deadline after all.

Increase the type size on your computer so it’s easier to read. Seriously. Why do they make the type so small?

Call technical support. You don’t know how to increase the type size on your computer and you screwed up something.

Post a rant on Facebook. All your friends are ignoring you. Did they even watch the video? Idiots.

Stare at your computer screen for a while. Uh oh. Time to panic. You’ll never get this thing written. And why try to rush it? You can’t rush good work.

Send an email to your client. Explain how busy you are and that you won’t have that thing written on time. Ask for another couple days. Apologize profusely.

Make a to-do list for the next couple days. You have some time on your hands now and you should make the most of it.

Reorganize your GTD folder. If for no other reason, do it for the irony.

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I’m often asked what copywriters do. So I tell them, in a nutshell, a copywriter writes copy for advertising and marketing materials, such as print ads, direct mail, and brochures.

Oh, great, they say. I’m a pretty good writer. I got good grades in English class. I should get into copywriting.

Well … it’s not just about writing.

In the real world, a copywriter must have skills beyond copywriting.

A copywriter must also have expertise in a variety of areas related to creating and producing the ads they write, which may include:

Marketing and Advertising Principles: A copywriter must have a basic understanding about business and selling in order to work with clients, colleagues, and sales people. Copywriters often attend meetings, give presentations, and deal directly with clients.

Design: A copywriter will work closely with designers to brainstorm ideas and help craft promotional messages. Often a copywriter will provide a designer with a “copywriter rough,” a sketch showing what an advertisement should look like.

Printing: Sometimes a copywriter will work with a printer, especially when creating direct mail, to make sure ideas are practical and affordable to produce. Every printer has different equipment and capabilities.

Mailing Lists: While copywriters seldom choose or buy lists, they must review list data to visualize the real people who will read and respond to their copy and to see what type of promotions have worked with the lists selected.

Postal Delivery: When writing direct mail pieces, a copywriter may consult with postal experts to see how mailers can be modified to cut postage costs, whether a piece will cause problems with mail sorting equipment, or what regulations will affect the design concept.

Audio or Video Production: A copywriter writing a radio ad, TV spot, or online video, must consider how an announcer will read the script, how visuals will be created, and what sound effects work best. It is difficult to write an audio or video script without being able to “hear” or “visualize” the final result. Sometimes a copywriter will act as a “producer,” overseeing the production in a studio.

Online Marketing: Today, copywriters must understand how people interact with online information and how to write search-engine-friendly copy. Writing good online copy requires a working knowledge of search engines, social sites, web technology, eye tracking, online shopping, and other matters. Working with programmers and web designers is routine.

Copywriting is like anything else. There’s no easy path to prosperity. You must have skills, experience, and expertise beyond what others offer in order to reach the higher levels. Anyone telling you different is either lying or trying to sell you an ebook. Or both.

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But Tiffany Markman brings up some good points and gives us all a different perspective as she wades into the swamp of today’s most popular TV genre.

***

I say ‘reality TV’.

You think of several good-looking people eating earthworms for money, a family of motorbike manufacturers fighting with each other, a chubby guy baking multi-storey cakes, or a nice family with several adopted kids getting a beautiful new house.

Whatever your impression of reality television – and whether you like it or hate it – have you ever considered how much like copywriting it is? No? Well, I have.

And here’s why…

1. Structure is really important.

There’s a lovely family with five kids. Two are adopted. Mom’s a neighbourhood saint. Dad’s a firefighter. And their two-bedroom home is on its last foundations. Enter the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition team, to save the day. That’s all very well, but this show wouldn’t be as interesting without the narrators, their commentary and their insights into the process. Nor would the results be as impressive.

Like reality TV, a successful copywriting project requires that a stage be set; that someone close to the top of the pyramid provides a bigger picture. Without this context, it’s almost impossible to predict the scope of the work, get started and deliver something with which a) the client and b) the end user is utterly thrilled.

2. Rank amateurs abound.

If American Idol (or any of the many international Idol spin-offs) used semi-professional singers, and if everyone who auditioned for the show was pretty good, there’d be no fun at all in watching it. Its beauty is its focus on amateurs. Rough diamonds, as it were. And the rougher – and more extraordinarily awful – the better.

In many cases, repairing or editing disaster copy can be just as much fun and just as rewarding as creating new copy from scratch. I love doing it, because a few strategic tweaks here and there, plus a polish, can often revolutionise a shoddy piece of text.

In addition, being a freelancer means that I get to work with new clients all the time – some of whom have no idea what a copywriter even does or how copywriting differs from copyrighting. This means that I’m able to educate them, which is very satisfying.

3. The facts are simplified.

Mythbusters is one of the most intelligent reality shows out there. Jamie, Adam and the junior Mythbusters do things that fascinate even science-averse non-techies like me. But there’s a lot we don’t see. Because you can’t really attach a prosthetic tail to a human being in one hour, using only the things lying around your lab.

As copywriters we are often required to simplify complex things, using words. The target audience doesn’t need to know – or can’t know – how complicated a product, service or solution really is. And so, we finesse it. We make it more accessible.

4. There are some weirdos.

Reality TV presents strange people doing strange things. That’s why we enjoy it. And the more bizarre, unlikeable or completely un-self-aware they are, the better.

It’s no coincidence that reality TV producers work on very specific quotas when casting a show. Ben Elton sums up this phenomenon in his novel Chart Throb, dividing talent show contestants into Blingers (the very glam), Mingers (the very sob-story-ish) and Clingers (the very desperate). And competitive shows like MasterChef, America’s Next Top Model, The Apprentice and The Bachelor are similar.

Always remember that freelance copywriting is what you do if you like variety. If dealing with different people, brands and companies every day excites you. And the weirdos keep it interesting. At the very least, they give you stuff to talk about.

5. Some of it is lies, lies, lies.

Many viewers are attracted to what they perceive as the non-scripted, unpredictable freshness of reality television. The ‘realness’ of it. Take Survivor, where you feel like you never know what’s coming next – even if you’ve watched 10 seasons of it.

In reality though, while episodes may not be scripted, they are constructed and edited within a deliberately designed framework that tries to reflect certain values. The issues of reality TV are simply a highly exaggerated version of everyday life.

For me, this is the biggest overlap between reality TV and freelance writing: the fact that what the target audience sees is sometimes not true. Many copywriters, me included, are also spin doctors who try to come up with the most impressive ways to convey unimpressive things. We are often asked to white-wash the facts; to make the negative positive. And if we do it well, the end-user only sees a lovely piece of copy.

Bottom line? It’s wonderful.

Reality TV appeals to many because it is about real people and it shows them doing real things. We want to be able to judge, laugh at and root for people like us – or, at least, people who make us feel better about ourselves. At the same time, freelance copywriting is among the best jobs in the world if you like people, variety and real-world tastes of different industries. And if you can take it all with a pinch of salt.

Tiffany Markman at www.tiffanymarkman.co.za is an opinionated freelance copywriter, copy editor and writing trainer, based in Johannesburg, South Africa, who has worked with over 200 clients over the last nine years.

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Three pounds of stuff in the mailbox a day. 507 TV channels to flip through to find the weather report. 623 email messages selling male enhancement pills.

And that’s only a fraction of the information that bombards us. There are billboards along the highway, news broadcasts on the radio, memos and telephone calls at the office, instruction manuals for office equipment that won’t work, family schedules to remember, bills, books, seminars, random conversations at lunch time, business meetings, it never ends.

I even feel it when I walk into the supermarket cereal aisle and have to choose from about 200 boxes screaming with bright colors and promises of low fat and high fiber, when all I want is lots of sugar and a cool little plastic prize wrapped in cellophane.

It makes my head hurt.

There’s just too much information to process these days. And when people feel overwhelmed, they react in ways that aren’t good for your copywriting.

Whatever your copy is about or whatever you’re selling, it boils down to information, usually in the form of words people have to read. But people will avoid reading when they feel overloaded, or they’ll filter out difficult information and look for information that is easier to understand, or they’ll simply misunderstand what you’re talking about and wont’ respond in the way you want.

Or, worst of all, they may just ignore your copy altogether.

You can’t alter the flow of information out there, but you can do some simple things in your writing to make the information you present clear, simple, and easy to understand.

Make clarity your #1 objective. You can’t communicate or persuade someone if that person doesn’t understand your point. Don’t write to show off or call attention to how smart or clever you are. Simplify your message. Make it easy to understand. Get to the point and say exactly what you mean to say.

Good writing is like a clean pane of glass in a storefront—you don’t notice the glass, but you can clearly see what you want on the other side. Take a look at my headline and first paragraph on this article. No fluff. I get right to the point and you know what this article is about instantly.

Decide what you want to say before you say it. Don’t just hope something sensible will reveal itself as you write your copy. Plan and outline. Think about the point you want to make. Determine the tone or emotional feel. Know where you’re headed before you start.

This helps you stay on point and avoid distracting ideas. It also helps you organize your copy so that it reads in a clear and logical way from beginning to end.

Organize your information visually. Don’t be one of those copywriters who thinks subheads, bold face, and bullets are just for designers. They’re really for visual organization.

Take this article, for example. I’m using 8 bold subheads because I have a list of separate tips about my main topic. If I were explaining a process, I would have probably used a numbered list. You can also use italics, block quotes, underlines, sidebars, and other techniques for emphasis and organization.

Link information with familiar ideas. If there’s any chance for misunderstanding, use a simple analogy that relates to something your reader is already familiar and comfortable with. For example, if you’re trying to explain how anti-virus software works, say it’s like a doctor that checks your computer for infections, and when it finds one, it quarantines the bug and makes your computer feel better. That’s accurate and easy to understand.

Inject emotional content. Ideas are easier to understand and remember when they are linked with emotional content or intense feelings. If you’re writing copy for a political group striving to change the American tax system, don’t just explain economic theory and reel off dry statistics. Talk about how the IRS takes money from our wallets, how the government makes us work two hours every day to support a bloated government, or how frustrating it is to fill out all those confusing forms every April. People process emotional ideas more easily than intellectual ones. Make people feel so they don’t have to think so hard.

Avoid making counterproductive associations. Clever analogies, puns, and wordplay might make you look bright, but they will sabotage clear communication. This goes for gratuitous graphics, effects, and images that are used because they are trendy or cool looking.

I once saw an advertisement with a photo of a clown handing papers to a guy sitting at a desk. The headline makes a pun about the boss being a clown. You have no idea the copy is really about office equipment until you read all the way through. It makes sense if you spend the time to figure it out, but most people won’t. Be clear, not clever.

Focus on one big idea. Don’t dump too many messages on your reader at once. Start with a simple idea. Then build and reinforce that one idea, adding information paragraph by paragraph, always linking back to that one big idea.

In this article, my big idea is information overload. Each point I make refers to that one point. Even if one point isn’t as clear as I’d like it to be, the reader will never be lost or feel overwhelmed because I’m really only talking about one simple idea.

Present your main idea at the beginning and end of your copy. People tend to remember what comes first and what comes last. Things in the middle are usually forgotten. If you have a list of product benefits, for example, put the best up front, but have a few good ones for the end, too.

Follow the rule for good public speaking: Tell ‘em what you’re going to say. Say it. Tell ‘em what you just said.

The supermarket can’t do much to overcome my feeling of information overload in the cereal aisle. And I’m pretty sure we’re all on our own with channel surfing and deleting email spam.

But if you apply these ideas to your copy, you can reduce the feeling of information overload for your readers. If your copy becomes an oasis of clarity and simplicity in this sea of confusing information we live in, people will actually want to spend more time reading and responding to what you have to say or sell.

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So even if you’re the most brilliant copywriter on the planet, you won’t get very far if you’re piddling away all the hours in your workday.

Here are some time management tips specifically for copywriters:

Eliminate distractions. Turn off the radio. Tell friends and family to not call you when you’re working. Turn down the volume on your computer so you can’t hear the *bing bong* chime when email arrives. Even little interruptions can throw you off-track.

Stop goofing around online. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You turn on your computer and check Facebook, right? Then you visit your favorite news site. Then maybe watch some funny cat videos on YouTube. Before you know it, you’ve burned a couple hours and have nothing to show for it.

Knock it off. Do personal things on personal time and business things on business time.

Say “no.” This is a skill you must learn because it’s the best way to prevent filling your schedule with time wasters. Say no to yourself. Say no to clients. Say no to colleagues. Be nice but decisive. The busier you are, the less time you have for all those little favors, pointless meetings, and endless freebies people want.

Use a calendar. Copywriting works on deadlines, so you need to get those deadlines into a calendar. A paper calendar is okay, but I recommend a computer calendar with programmable reminders, such as the one built into ACT!, a contact management program. If you juggle many simultaneous projects, you could also use project management software.

Write up a daily to-do list. If you’re not doing this, start immediately. Make a list of each thing you must accomplish today and start working through the list. At the end of the day, every item should be crossed off. Before you leave the office, make a list for the next day.

This seems obvious, but I am always astonished at how many people don’t use lists. They rely on dozens of disorganized sticky notes or piles of paper or often nothing at all. I suppose some people can track everything in their head, but I’ve found that the only way to be SURE you get everything done is to make a list and work through it each day.

Stop being a phone slave. I screen calls with caller ID and voice mail. I never answer the phone if I don’t recognize the caller, and sometimes don’t answer even if I do. I check messages and return calls once a day when it’s convenient. I recommend you do the same.

Deal with email twice a day. Mid-morning and mid-afternoon are ideal. This is a hard one for me because I have email filling my inbox all day. And yes, some email is urgent. But by processing messages in clumps, you can save a lot of time.

Also keep in mind that you don’t have to answer every message. The delete button is your friend. When you do answer, don’t turn it into a writing project. Keep it short and to-the-point.

Being efficient with your time is really about organization and prioritization. These are just 7 ways to organize and prioritize. Do you have other tips you’d like to share?

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I know that sounds like one of those nightmare job interview questions, but it’s worth asking yourself.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? What’s the endgame for your freelance career?

To me, freelancing is a little like playing chess. That’s because for both there are three distinct stages: the opening, the middle game, and the endgame.

You see, when I was younger, I studied chess. Yes, I was a nerd and actually “studied” chess. That meant working my way through dense books full of difficult and arcane chess strategy, including how to handle each stage of the game.

The opening is all about rapidly deploying your assets to put yourself in a strong position and maximize your future opportunities.

In the middle game, you develop your position, trying to avoid costly mistakes and pursue rewarding opportunities as they arise.

When you get to the endgame, you narrow your focus to achieve your goal. The result depends entirely on all the previous moves you’ve made.

If you’re just starting out, you may not want to think that far ahead. And you certainly can’t plan for every possibility. Life is far more random than chess, after all.

But you should have some idea about where you’re headed and the goal you’re chasing. You can’t achieve it if you don’t know what it is. Right?

Here are 5 possible endgames for freelancers:

Plan to retire. You work hard, build your business, and save your money. When the time comes, you’ll be able to step away and relax. Maybe you want a comfortable beach house in Florida. Perhaps you want to travel or indulge in your hobbies. Nothing surprising with this goal. This is what most people want, whether you’re freelance or a full-time employee.

Get a job. Few people who talk about freelancing mention this possibility, probably because those who get into freelancing are often trying to escape employment. However, this endgame makes a lot of sense. Freelancing can bring you close to a lot of employers and open doors that ordinary interviews and resume mailings can’t. I’ve been offered countless jobs over the years.

Grow your business. Those with an entrepreneurial streak can use what they learn at freelancing to turn a small business into a bigger business. You can create and sell products online, start up a consulting firm, use your writing skills to open a brick and mortar business, or pursue a joint venture with another freelancer with complementary skills.

Turn full-time consultant. Unless you’re a writing machine, freelancing can become taxing after a few years. It’s hard work. But if you gain expertise in a particular field, you’ll find that some clients want your knowledge as much or more than they want your writing services. Sharing advice can be much easier and often pay better than writing.

Keep on truckin’. And then there’s the possibility that you could just keep doing what you’re doing. Maybe you scale things back, get a little more choosey about your clients, or focus your time exclusively on projects that interest you. After all, if you like to write, there’s no age-limit. As long as your mind is sharp, you can write forever.

Which is the best endgame? That’s up to you.

I’ve always planned to just keep on truckin’. But you never know what the future holds. As they say, life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. So think about where you want to go, but be willing to go with the flow. Freelancing can take you to wonderful places.

How about you? What’s your endgame?

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Tiffany Markman shows how to share your feelings with those sort of clients. Though I don’t recommend you actually send a letter like this, it’s fun to fantasize about it.

***

Dear Client,

You and I have been working for some time on the web copy for your new range of products. We’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. At this stage, I feel a letter might be appropriate, to convey how I feel about my creative collaboration with you.

To begin with, when briefed to create search engine optimised (SEO) web copy, I revel in repeatedly explaining what search engine optimisation is. Even the third, fourth and fifth attempts to illuminate this concept felt fresh and new to me.

I enjoyed the drawings I did for you, and the many written explanations. And, when I submitted my first draft of carefully optimised web copy for your review, and then received your changes, I found it a welcome challenge to go back and re-insert all of the description titles, page titles, meta-tags and subheadings you had removed.

I applaud your commitment to the revision process – particularly the fact that both of your sons, your business partner and his wife were able to have their say during each round of “tweaks.”

Please convey my appreciation for the detailed and colourful notations they made on each draft in hard copy, and scanned and sent to me as PDFs. I really understand your products now.

I was given an even more thorough insight into your business, and its operations, logistics and personalities, by being CCed on every piece of correspondence you’ve had with your designers (local and international), packagers, distributors, stakeholders and close family since we began working together on your copy.

As you know, I take pride in ensuring that my copy is the best it can be. This is why I was willing to make a sixth and seventh set of changes, although you were only willing to pay for one.

And I didn’t mind the fact that the final (eighth) draft had to be worked on overnight and returned by 6am the following morning. That sunrise was so pretty.

I’m delighted to report that I’m now a sunrise expert, having received regular calls from you at 5.30am. I also like late-night TV, which I watch after your 10pm check-in, when I can’t sleep.

Now that the site has gone live and I’ve submitted my invoice for payment (don’t worry, I wasn’t upset by your attempt to bargain down my quoted price post sign-off), I’d be happy to make some extra changes for you, and to “finesse” the pages of copy that your nephew, who’s done so well in high school English, thoughtfully provided.

After all, as you say, this job I’ve done for you will open so many doors for me.

However, I wanted you to know that I’ll be unavailable for a while. There’s been an offer of work in a temple on an island between Vietnam and Cambodia and, although I’m concerned about the reliability of its communication infrastructure, I’m going anyway.

All of the best,

Your Freelancer

Disclaimer: This client is completely real, but I didn’t have the guts to send him this letter. You should know that 99% of my clients are superlative people, with whom I really enjoy working. But the remaining 1% is special. They’re what dinner party conversations are made of. Luckily, they’re around to fluff out my sense of irony.

Tiffany Markman at www.tiffanymarkman.co.za is an opinionated freelance copywriter, copy editor and writing trainer, based in Johannesburg, South Africa, who has worked with over 200 clients over the last nine years.

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It will probably go something like this:

Client: “Do you handle direct mail?”

You: “Yes I do.”

Client: “Good. We have a direct mail package that has been working for a few years, but it’s starting to get a little tired. So we want to test something new.”

You: “Okay, what did you have in mind?”

Client: “Well, we want you to write something that gets better response. We’ll test your package against our control and see which is the winner. Are you up for it?”

If you’ve never faced this situation, you may break out in a cold sweat. After all, this isn’t just a writing project. You won’t be judged by your style or command of grammar. Your skills will be tested and measured with a calculator. You will win or you will lose.

So what do you do?

You could take a shot in the dark and hope for the best, but I recommend a more methodical approach.

Here’s my 7-step procedure for tackling a head-to-head copywriting test, based on proven problem-solving methods. It’s great for direct mail, but it can work for any ad in any medium.

1. DEFINE the problem. Because that’s what you’re facing, a problem to be solved: How do you beat the “control” and get better results? Put the problem in writing. Be specific. If the business you’re dealing with thrives on sales leads, and good leads have dried up, your problem is a lack of good leads. Write “The problem is that the current direct mail package is not generating qualified leads for salespeople.” Without a specific problem, you’ll never arrive at a specific solution.

2. EXPLORE available resources. Gather information about your problem. Collect samples, promotional literature, press releases, competitor information, memos, testimonials, articles and reviews, marketing reports, everything. Read and ask questions. But don’t make any creative decisions yet.

3. ANALYZE the control. Look at the control by itself and in context with any other past tests. How does it measure up creatively? Look for fundamental problems. Run a diagnostic check against proven principles and techniques.

Then look at the numbers — response rates, conversions, ROI, cost per customer, etc. Arrange tests chronologically or by response. Do you see a pattern? What has worked and what has not? Why?

When your analysis is complete, formulate your Hypothesis. This is a statement that summarizes what you believe the real problem is and what — in general terms — should be done about it. For example: “The subscription acquisition package is getting a good response and has beat out all contenders, but the ROI is still unacceptable. The package must be made more cost efficient while maintaining the current response and conversion rate.”

4. PAUSE. By now, your eyes are bleary and your brain is numb. It’s time for a break. Set everything aside and do something else. Take a walk. Golf. Eat lunch. Anything. The break will allow your brain cool off, to sift and organize information subconsciously.

5. CREATE your ideas. Now it’s time to come up with some ideas. How you proceed will be determined largely by your analysis of the control.

If the control is excellent, it may be doing all it can do. So, your best bet is to brainstorm fresh ideas and take a different approach to beat it.

If the control is merely good — the category most controls will fall into — there’s room for improvement. Look for something to change about the current control to improve results.

If the control is bad, toss it. Start from scratch and create something new. It’s safest to use a proven formula, to go back to basics. (Caution: A control can only be a control if it has won in tests. So, a “control” that shows poor technique or low numbers may indicate faulty testing or other serious problems.)

6. EVALUATE your ideas. Go over the ideas you’ve generated. Weed out all but the best. If you don’t like anything, or think you can do better, go back to creating for a while. When the deadline gets close or when you stop generating useful ideas, move on. Choose the single best idea you have. This is the one you will develop.

7. ACT on your best idea. Plan how to make your idea happen. Anticipate obstacles and prepare for them. Be ready to sell your idea to others. Expect hesitation or even resistance: “We’ve never done this before.” “I wouldn’t respond to this.” “It won’t work.” “This isn’t very creative.”

Doubt is a natural and inevitable feeling as you arrive at the moment of truth. Don’t let it stop you. Only testing will prove what works. So, GO FOR IT!

You’ll notice that I don’t include anything about writing the new piece. That’s because this kind of challenge isn’t as much about writing as it is about clear thinking and sound problem-solving.

I face challenges like this all the time. How about you? Have you ever been asked to beat a control? How did you tackle the project?

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