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What I Learned at High School Graduation: Lesson 3 -- Dare Yourself to Win the Race

2012-05-23T08:30:00-07:00

Today, I continue my weeklong series on lessons learned by attending our high school's graduation last weekend. This weekend, I had the joy of attending the graduation ceremonies for my son's high school. Adam is only a Junior this year, but we were on hand to celebrate with several of his senior friends. Perhaps since my own son wasn't graduating, I did a better job of listening to each of the five individuals who spoke. I found that I took away a lesson from each of their speeches. This week, I will be highlighting one of those lessons each day.

The third speaker at the University High graduation was a student. Zeina Rousan, elected by her peers to give a commencement speech, must have spent the majority of her lifetime making her parents very proud. She's the type of young lady you immediately know is a winner. Poised, articulate, quick witted and extremely eloquent, Zeina most definitely has a bright future ahead of her.

Zeina's speech began by inviting those of us in the audience, and especially her graduating peers, to imagine ourselves running a race. She peppered the run with anecdotes of her fellow students, inviting us runners to take the breaks we needed, but also to push forward to the finish line. Then she asked us:

Did you win the race?

Our winning of life's figurative and literal races doesn't always mean being the first man to the finish line. Sometimes winning means actually just finishing, finding the endurance deep inside to press on when you simply want to quit. Victory can come in the form of beating our own best time, or in the helping of a friend to reach her goal, even when it means we have to slow down just a bit to accompany her.

In asking her peers if they won the race of completing high school, Zeina dared them to "get a better time" in their lives' next races. The experiences of each race equip us for the challenges that lie ahead of us in future contests. For the graduating students, completion of high school is only a precurser for the greatness that lies ahead of them, just waiting to be attained.

For all of us, the race varies from day to day. At times it's a sprint, at times a marathon. Finishing demands patience, a strategy and most of all a winning attitude. Zeina's speech reminded me to run each day's portion of my life's race with vigor and gusto.

I dare myself to win.

Image credit: Kevin Connors

What I Learned at High School Graduation: Lesson 2 -- Discovery, Diversity, Distinction

2012-05-22T12:33:21-07:00

Lesson Number Two came in the form of a brief, yet insightful address from California State University, Fresno Provost Dr. William A. Covino. Dr. Covino's remarks for the gradutates highlighted three themes -- they are likely on his mind as the focal point of the newly launched Fresno State logo. But this wasn't simply a marketing speech. Rather, these three watchwords are relevant for any of us seeking to pursue personal excellence.

Discovery -- Experience the thrill of learning. Always strive to expand your mind.
Diversity -- Surround yourself with all elements of the human fabric. This makes it possible for us to learn from one another. Embrace the difference in others, seeking out in a special way that which is new, strange and different. This is how we grow, both as individuals and communally.
Distinction -- Demand of yourself the rare. Pursue your passions with energy and dilligence.

As I ponder Lesson 2 and its place in my life, I'm contemplating how to embrace more of these three "D"s in my day to day journey. Discovery will come in the form of continuing to open my eyes to opportunities for learning that present themselves each day. Diversity means actively seeking out opportunities for perspectives that vary from my own. Disctinction demands that I never settle for "good enough" in my family life or my work.

I'd like to publicly thank Provost Covino for making the time to visit with our graduates. His remarks have certainly given me a needed boost.

What I Learned at High School Graduation: Lesson 1 -- Average Isn't Good Enough

2012-05-21T15:35:14-07:00

This weekend, I had the joy of attending the graduation ceremonies for my son's high school. Adam is only a Junior this year, but we were on hand to celebrate with several of his senior friends. Perhaps since my own son wasn't graduating, I did a better job of listening to each of the five individuals who spoke. I found that I took away a lesson from each of their speeches. This week, I will be highlighting one of those lessons each day.

Lesson 1: Average is No Longer Good Enough

The first speaker at graduation was Dr. John D. Welty, President of California State University, Fresno. Since University High is a charter school founded by faculty of Fresno State and situated on the University's campus, Dr. Welty's presence is an annual tradition at graduation.

The first thing that struck me about his remarks were that they were addressed directly to the graduates. This meant that Dr. Welty took to the podium, but delivered his address squarely pointed at the young men and women for whom his remarks were intended, offering his side profile to the rest of the audience. "How wonderful," I thought to myself. "This is their day."

Dr. Welty's remarks were brief, but delivered with the passion of a man who has dedicated his life to education. He referenced Thomas Freidman's recent New York Times article, Average is Over. In it, Mr. Friedman makes a strong case for the absolute necessity of an advanced degree in today's world. Citing the rise of technology, but also an increase in the efficacy of foreign production, Friedman concludes:

There will always be change — new jobs, new products, new services. But the one thing we know for sure is that with each advance in globalization and the I.T. revolution, the best jobs will require workers to have more and better education to make themselves above average.

Dr. Welty's reiteration of the message that "Average is no longer good enough," was likely not lost on a group of graduates who will almost entirely be pursuing a college education. Nor was it missed by this mom -- I found myself nodding in agreement, but also asking myself, "In what ways have I allowed myself to think that average is sufficient?"

If I'm being honest, perhaps I use the busyness of my life to make excuses for occasional corners cut or work done less with less than the best of my abilities. I'm fortunate that the advance education called for by Thomas Friedman is already a part of my credentials. But the attitude both he and Dr. Welty called for -- that sense of "Average isn't good enough" -- is always something that should hold a place at the top of my "to do" list every day.

Image credit: Heather, Morguefile.com

Quitting Facebook? Not Me.

2012-05-17T08:00:52-07:00

Facebook buzz has reached a fever pitch this week as everyone's favorite (or most detested) social network launches its initial public offering tomorrow. Some have questioned the skyrocketing value of Facebook, and plenty of others have questioned whether it has any merit at all and is not simply a collossal time dump. This article at CNN today discusses why one tech columnist won't be ditching Facebook any time soon. I thought I'd chime in with my own take on that topic:

Facebook has helped me to remain connected with my loved ones, including my college son Eric. I love seeing the family photos and brief updates that fill my feed -- they make the miles that separate me from much of my family feel less daunting.

Facebook has been a tremendous support to my writing. In the penning of my first book, I turned to my Facebook friends every morning with a topic for discussion. Much of their commentary either edified or directly landed in the finished version of the book. That trend has continued not only with my second book, but also with my radio and television work and my daily blogging.

Facebook has become my scrapbook. Let's face it, those stacks of digital photos that fill my hard drive are likely never going to be printed and placed in cute pages surrounded by journaling and stickers. With Facebook, I have a virtual record of my adventures and a way to relive my many journeys.

Facebook is my virtual water cooler. As someone who works from home, I know the occasional isolation of working without colleagues. Facebook gives me someplace to explore ideas, seek input, celebrate accomplishments and frankly just to sometimes goof off.

I'll be the first to admit that Facebook has its downsides too -- I've burned more than one dinner while engaged in a lively comment discussion and have probably squandered some hours that should have been spent more productively. But for the most part, I'd say that the time I spend on Facebook enhances the quality of my life. Used in moderation, it's a tool, a toy and a treasure.

Will you be quitting Facebook to protest the IPO or as an effort to be more productive?

20 Sites Every Cool Mom Should Know - What Would You Add?

2012-05-16T16:54:11-07:00

Birchbox is a monthly subscription that delivers beauty and lifestyle samples to your door. It's a great way for any mom to discover the latest releases and find tips from industry leaders.Birchbox1

Child's Own Studio turns children's drawings into unique stuffed animals. While the creator is not currently taking orders, her one-of-a-kind creations just might be worth the wait.Child's Own Studio2

GrubHub tells you which restaurants deliver near you or that you can order take away. You can place your order online, read reviews and get coupons.GrubHub3

via mashable.com

A bit late for Mother's Day, but I'd still like to know what you feel is left off of this list of "Cool Sites for Moms" -- my take: no reference to faith, which is a huge part of so many moms' lives. Granted, I'm biased, but it would have been great to have seen at least one faith oriented site on this list...

What My College Son Teaches Me about Learning

2012-05-16T07:04:22-07:00

On Wednesdays, I share my thoughts on Learning and Personal Development.

On Friday night, we made the three hour drive to San Francisco to pick up a treasure -- my eldest son Eric, who just finished his sophomore year of college. Sporting a Harvard sweatshirt and a few days growth of beard, Eric had the slightly beleaguered look of someone who had just been through finals. You remember that feeling -- sleep deprived, randomly crammed tidbits of knowledge as yet unforgotten, thrilled that the tests are behind you, and anxiously awaiting the outcomes.

As a mom, for years now it's been my job to teach Eric and his brother Adam. I was the queen of flashcards and storytime and asking, "Is your homework done?"

I should have caught a clue sometime around fifth grade when my boys' Math left me in the dust that they would eventually be the ones teaching me.

It's clear to me now.

For the next two weeks, we have the treat of having Eric home with us before he heads off to New York City for an internship. He's been sharing my office, and I can lovingly look over now at the spot where he sits and see evidence of the passionate learner I raised. When I was in college, finishing finals meant going immediately to the beach. If I read anything more serious than a 17 Magazine on my breaks, it was likely a romance novel. My world was all about "me": my friends, my future, my life.

Eric is the learner I would love to be some day. When you converse with him, things naturally seem to evolve quite often to a higher level. I can also look at him and see -- perhaps only as a mother who knows her child's expressions so well -- that those momentary pauses in conversation and the way he will glance to the side as I'm talking don't mean he's not paying attention, but rather indicate active thought and formulation of his next idea.

Do you remember perhaps being a new parent and marveling at the miracle of your child's first steps? I have that sense sometimes when I'm chatting with Eric. On a bike ride, in the car, or together at the gym, our talks turn often to lofty topics. If I'm being wise, I spend more time listening than I do talking. That's where the learning happens!

Here are a few things Eric has taught me about learning:

Have a passion for it. Let it keep you up at night ("Just one more chapter, Mom.")
Actively seek it. Online, in podcasts, in periodicals, on the back of cereal boxes, and yes, even on Facebook.
Celebrate it. When you reach your goal, give yourself a pat on the back.
Share it. Knowledge is meant to be shared -- and in teaching someone else, you tend to learn even more in the process.

Today's USA Today headline about Ivy League schools offering classes online has me pondering how many amazing learning tools we have surrounding us. From podcasts to community lectures, from the local library to Youtube, our world is full of ways to grow and to learn.

Let's get going!

What have your children taught you?

Under Construction: 3 Lessons Learned from Site Redesign Project

2012-05-15T06:17:53-07:00

We are currently in the process of a major rennovation over at my main website, CatholicMom.com. It's been a few years since the last refresh, so I figured it was time to take the plunge and bite the bullet. Thanks to my amazing designer, Tim Norton of 6WebDesign, the process has been relatively painfree.

One of the things I've learned over the years is to try to look at moments of "growing pain" like this one with open eyes, and to learn something in the process. So for posterity's sake, I'm going to share a few notes here for myself (and perhaps for you too!) in order to remember what this process has taught me.

Here are a few lessons learned that come to mind:

Have a vision -- Don't be afraid to shoot for the stars. Honestly, this whole project started with a chance encounter I had with the Today Show website. I loved the look of the site and its graphics heavy design. Tim and I set about taking the site apart and looking piece by piece at what I wanted to emulate. Did I let the fact that I'm a mom, working from home with a budget the size of a minnow stop me? No -- and blessedly neither did Tim. If you compare our end results side by side with that "dream" site, I'd say it's amazing how close we came!
Don't be afraid to pivot -- It's likely that having a vision will make you feel strongly about the end product you're seeking. But if you find yourself halfway through, or even 8/10s of the way through, and things aren't turning out as you expected, don't be afraid to make a u turn. Better to take your time and get things just right rather than to refuse to budge and end up with an undesired outcome.
Take your time -- The world of the web seems so fast and frenetic these days. Tweets and status updates have us living in a moment by moment reality that sometimes gives a false sense of time. It's still a truth that good, quality work takes time -- rushing may give you immediate gratification, but in the end taking the time necessary to complete a project to the best of your ability will always be more gratifying.

I'm hoping now that the major work on this project is complete, I will be back blogging here daily on weekdays. I thank those of you readers who have stuck with me through extended absences and promise to recommit to pondering the importance and the elusive challenges of personal productivity in our homes and in our lives.

Pinterest: A Productivity Tool or a Massive Time Dump?

2012-03-20T12:44:51-07:00

For the past few weeks, I have been having an awesome time experimenting with the popular new social networking tool Pinterest. Some call Pinterest nothing more than a passing phase or a place for chicks to post photos of new purses. I think they are missing the boat...

As a webmaster and blogger, I have already seen the huge capability of Pinterest to drive traffic to my sites. As with any social networking site, there is a learning curve to figuring out how much is too much, and how to use the tool effectively without becoming "that guy" -- you know him. He's the one you end up blocking or hiding because his stuff is constantly in your face. You wonder how he can even get any work done because he's always on that site, "sharing".

So here are a few rules of thumb I have set for myself when it comes to using Pinterest:

Limit my time on the site to a few regular check ins per day. Close the Pinterest tab in my browser when it's not one of those times.
Establish a separate Twitter presence for my Pinterest tweets. Allow friends who are interested in Pinterest to follow me there without forcing the rest of my Twitter buddies to be overwhelmed by tweets about pins.
Be a good neighbor by liking, commenting or tweeting about other people's items as much as I do my own.
Establish a limited number of boards that are directly related to my work and interests, but don't branch into to many additional, extraneous boards.
Don't "follow all" when connecting with other Pinterest users, but rather study their boards when invited to connect and make careful selections to avoid being overwhelmed with information.
Educate myself about Pinterest's terms of service and the current copyright information that is buzzing around the web. Only pin items that do not infringe on others' rights.

I'd love to hear from you if you are enjoying using Pinterest for work or pleasure. Do you have any tips or techniques that seem to be working well? What have you learned from your use of Pinterest.

Connect with me on Pinterest at http://pinterest.com/lisahendey/

Making Your Messages Work for (Not Against) You

2012-03-06T16:27:33-08:00

This morning, I had an interesting consulting conversation with a non-profit organization which is looking to better optimize its social media initiatives. During the course of our chat, the topic of direct mail arose. I shared my somewhat "dim" view of what I termed "holy junk mail" -- that is, direct mail pieces from wonderful organizations that contain heart-felt pleas for support, but also "free" items that are often religious or spiritual in nature.

Readers here probably know that my faith means a great deal to me. So perhaps you won't be surprised when I share that I have a hard time "tossing" holy junk mail. It sits in a stack on my desk, often unsorted -- and always unresponded to -- until the situation gets out of hand.

Then it gets recycled.

The conversation has me thinking about the other types of "junk mail" messages I hoard and later trash these days:

Social media notifications
Email group messages
"To do someday" items
Press releases

Entire books have been written on the topic of dealing with the influx of information that now prevails in our society. I've read a few, and still struggle with my "message hoarding" tendancies, especially in my inbox. Filters help, but what I really need is a different mindset that helps me attend immediately to what matters most, deal with it and move on.

I've also been pondering the message I send -- am I contributing to the clutter with my posts, tweets and pins? Or am I adding value for those I serve?

The jury is still out...

Watching Weight?

2012-01-09T10:18:47-08:00

With the flip of the calendar and having spent nearly two deep-fried weeks visiting family in the South, I made the decision to finally take some action about my resolve to get healthier by dropping weight. Ten days of jambalaya, Christmas cookies, and no workouts will put you in that frame of mind.

After doing some praying, pondering and research, I decided to try the Weight Watchers online plan. I have done the program in the past and for me my least favorite part was attending the meetings, so this new option to use technology to track my progress fits well with my busy schedule and frequent travel. I took the plunge on Thursday and have been happily using my iPhone and computer since then to help me learn about the changes in the program since the last time I used it.

A lot has changed in my personal life since that first time around—I am older, but not necessarily wiser. My body has been through breast cancer and radiation, the start of menopause, and the sedentary work of sitting at my computer to write three books. What was easy in my late thirties and early forties feels more monumentally difficult and discouraging now, but I’m happy that I’ve finally committed myself to a course of action.

I’m “outing” myself here on the blog in the hopes that perhaps some of you can help me stay accountable. I’m going to be blogging a bit about my experiences, my challenges, and any tips I find that help make the process easier. For today, I’ll simply say that I’m loving the ease and convenience of using my iPhone to easily count points and keep track of exercise. Additionally, I’m a bit obsessed with the WW Scanner app that lets you simply scan the bar code on a food item and immediately send it to your tracker. For a geek like me, the convenience and ease of access to food data has already helped me avoid some bad decisions.

How about you? Do we have any other readers here at the blog who are prioritizing good health choices this January? Feel free to chime in below in the comments with your tips, frustrations, or experiences.