project BLOGWAY

A Sad Goodbye

2014-08-31T14:52:00.001-03:00

It is with a heavy heart that I am announcing the end of Cozy Little Book Journal. I will no longer be reviewing, tweeting about, or blogging about books. Period. This means the end of all of my secondary blogs as well, including this one, I'm afraid.

I'm so sorry to all of the authors and publishers who were counting on me to promote the countless books they've sent me over the years, and I'm sorry to all of the readers who have come back to my blog again and again. I appreciate all of your support and encouragement and I'm so sorry to disappoint anyone. I assure you I did not take this decision lightly.

Most people don't realize this but I've not been well for several months now. I've had medical issues that have impacted my life in various ways and I really need to focus on my health now. For a long time, blogging seemed like a good fit for me. I could read and review books even when I was too ill to do much else. Lately, however, the stress of all of my book-related commitments, combined with feeling physically ill and emotionally exhausted, has made it a hobby that I dread more than I treasure. I've hated having reading turn into a chore instead of a joy.

Apart from health concerns, I've also gotten tired of a lot of other aspects of having a book blog. I'm sick of having authors' friends call me an idiot on Amazon because I didn't like a book. I'm tired of being sent dozens of crappy book files every month, despite repeatedly telling self-published authors that I'm in no way interested in their Christian children's books or their vampire YA. I'm tired of always being a few hundred books behind in my reading list, then feeling guilty if I choose to read a library book instead of one I'm "obligated" to read. I miss re-reading my favourite books just because I feel like it, instead of trying to speed-read the endless book files I have on my Kobo.

Don't get me wrong. I've loved so much about book blogging. I'd say I've loved it way more than I've hated it. I've loved being a part of a community of committed readers who discuss books with the enthusiasm of sports fans discussing a big game. I've loved interacting with authors, illustrators, publishers and publicists, the majority of whom have been the most amazing and lovely people. I've treasured the moments when my honest excitement for a book can make an author's day, and I've loved when they've taken the time to tell me that. I've been in awe of so many authors and artists and I've felt like I was backstage at a rock concert, getting to exchange letters and emails with my literary heroes.

I've loved sharing this experience with my daughter. She's five, but she never starts a new book without reading not only the title, but also the name of the author, the illustrator and the publisher. I didn't do that when I was her age. She's only a beginner reader herself, but she can already easily identify when a book is written or illustrated by someone she knows because she's come to recognize art styles, writing styles, and author photos. She thinks computers are mostly for downloading book files. I love that.

Nonetheless, I've decided that it is time to take a break from blogging. My daughter is starting school in a few days and I'm trying to stay healthy enough to share each day with her. Of course we'll still be reading and discussing all our favourite books. We just won't be doing it online.

Thank-you again to everyone who has supported and participated in my book blog, in every capacity, over the past four years. Unfortunately it's goodbye for now (possibly forever) but I really appreciate all of you. Thanks for understanding.

IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR PROJECT RUNWAY SEASON 13!!

2014-07-20T14:30:00.001-03:00

Did anyone else see the Designer Home Tours leading up to Season 13 of Project Runway? Is it just me or does it seem like there are a disproportionate number of whiny brats this year? I hope I'm wrong, but I'm not feeling this group. And are they still doing that thing where someone from a previous season gets to come back FOR NO DAMN REASON? Ugh, so stupid.

Doesn't matter, I'm still excited. Less than a week to go!!

How hard could it be? At Home With Modern June shows you how to sew projects for your home

2014-05-03T13:26:00.001-03:00

If I can make these, then literally anyone can

I don't consider myself much of a seamstress (I was going to say 'sewer' but then I realized that 'sew-er' as in 'one who sews' is indistinguishable from 'sewer' as in 'where poop goes'...which is probably why people say 'seamstress') but I can mend torn clothes, sew a hem, and make simple things like doll clothes or pillow covers. But even I found the projects in this book easy. As in, really easy. So easy, in fact, that I probably didn't need a book to tell me how to do them (like make a place mat or a simple pair of curtains).

At the same time, if you are someone who loves the look (or idea) of handmade items for your home but have absolutely no idea where to begin, this book might be perfect. The photos are aspirational and--as promised--modern, even though they're referencing a nostalgic time gone by. For instance, the author refers to her grandmother as "the only person she ever knew who wore an apron" then shows you how to make an apron. It's the book for people who find Pinterest exciting but too complicated.

But because the projects are so simple, At Home With Modern June does make me want to try the few ideas in the book that are slightly more intimidating (to me at least) like the Roman blind or the bed skirt ruffle. Since the other things are so easy, how hard could these ones be? If I actually do get a Roman blind finished, I'll be sure to update you with my results!

Ultimately Kelly McCants captures perfectly the current trend of "modern nostalgia," mixing old-fashioned patterns and ideas with modern sensibility and accessible techniques. The projects are probably too simple for the serious sew-er (see? it's hard to write that word) but are a great starting point for someone who desperately wants to be able to point at something in their home and say proudly, "That? Oh yeah I made it."

Simple and adorable apron

BOOK DETAILS:
At Home With Modern June:
27 Sewing Projects for Your Handmade Lifestyle
by Kelly McCants
Publisher: Stash Books
Publication Date: March 1, 2014
View on Amazon

Source: NetGalley

This review originally appeared on my other blog, Cozy Little Book Journal.

CRAFTY BOOK REVIEW: The Big Book of Things to Make, by James Mitchem (DK Publishing)

2014-04-29T09:34:00.001-03:00

The Big Book of Things to Make,
by James Mitchem
DK Publishing: March 18, 2013
Source: Edelweiss
View on Amazon

Fantastic! As always, DK Publishing delivers exactly what it promises. This is like the quintessential book of kids' crafts. It's got all those things I vaguely remember from my own childhood (pinhole cameras, bottle rockets), plus a bunch of things I used to know when I was a daycare teacher but have since forgotten (homemade slime, milk art), and a couple of things I just never knew at all (if you make jello with tonic water it glows under UV light -- why?). Basically it's one-stop awesome.

And it has a whole bonus section of "things to do" that includes tips for how to play detective or pirates or even how to make your own board game. You know, for kids who want to better at playing and figure the answer is probably in a book (hint: it totally is). I was that kid. Actually, I still am, which is why I strongly approve of this book.

This review originally appeared on my other blog, Cozy Little Book Journal.

What the hell happened to Anya??? (Project Runway: Under the Gunn)

2014-02-28T13:39:00.000-04:00

Anya Ayoung Chee, looking terrifying

I've never been an Anya hater. I know they're out there (and they are many) but I've never jumped on the "Anya didn't deserve to win Season 9" bandwagon (now Gretchen's win from Season 8 is a whole different story). I've always loved her and thought she was a good choice as mentor on Tim Gunn's new show, Project Runway: Under the Gunn.

Back in her own season of Project Runway, the criticism was basically this: she famously said she only learned to sew in the months leading up to coming on the show, so everybody (including most of her fellow competitors) took this to mean: (A) that she DIDN'T know how to sew; and (B) that she didn't know ANYTHING.

I've always found both of those things to be unfair. Anya Ayoung-Chee went to design school. She had been designing and making her own clothes for years, including pageant gowns which I'm sure aren't easy. But she had gotten a lot of help with things like pattern making and sewing with fancy sewing machines (like the ones she'd be using on the show), so when she decided to audition for Project Runway she decided she'd need to learn to sew properly. Which is how she spent the months leading up to filming. Hence she "just learned to sew" for the show.

The thing is, there are a LOT of contestants who don't even do that much. How many times have we heard contestants complain that they don't know how to thread a needle in commercial sewing machines, or that they never had to sew or make patterns before because they have "people" for that? How many times have we seen contestants acting bitchy to the self-taught designers because they didn't go to design school?

It happens nearly every season, but almost no one got the kind of criticism that Anya got. So why? What was different about her?

Anya, looking tired but fabulous in Season 9

Well a couple of things. First of all, she was honest about her crash course in sewing and didn't apologize for it. A lot of other designers come on the show without even bothering to make sure they're going to be able to handle the basics (like using the kinds of sewing machines they have on Project Runway) but they all make a million excuses about it (I hand sew everything, I have a different kind of machine at home, I have assistants for that, my sewing machine is in metric, I don't believe in electricity). Anya just made sure she knew how to do it before she came on the show. Point Anya.

Secondly, she did really REALLY well, which pissed off the other designers. They interpreted her "just learned to sew" as "doesn't know anything" and then got mad when that wasn't the case. Plus she's very pretty and accomplished in other areas (wasn't she Miss Universe or something?) so I think a lot of them really wanted to not have to take her seriously. But she kicked their asses and didn't apologize. Again, point Anya.

So I never had a problem with her winning her season. I liked her designs, I liked her, I thought the criticism was overblown and unfair, and I didn't feel there was a clear front runner who should have won instead. Certainly there were other contenders, but no one who I thought was clearly the intended winner (like, ahem, Mondo in Season 8). I was on board with Anya.

But now I'll admit I'm starting to have some doubts. Was everybody right about her after all? Anya's mentoring style on Under the Gunn is, at best, confusing.

Do you all remember when the challenge was to design a look inspired by Vampire Academy, a teen vampire movie, and Anya told one of her designers (what was that guy's name again?) that his looks were "too junior" so he should think about what a 35-year-old would wear instead? When have the judges ever wanted that?? And especially on a teen-inspired challenge? It's crazy talk.

Then when that designer was in the bottom two and Anya was asked to pick who should go home, she picked him! "I can't help but feel responsible," she said tearfully. YA THINK? Of course she's responsible!

Anya putting a hex on What's-His-Name for not being good enough

Then this week her mentoring strategy seemed to begin and end with making all her designers feel guilty that they weren't living up to her expectations. How is that helpful?

She was particularly hard on what's-his-name, the boring guy with the white shirt that made him look like he was catering breakfast for the show, um, Nick? He's so boring I can't even commit his name to memory. Still, Anya's idea of encouraging him was to imply that he had tricked her into thinking he was a good designer and that maybe he was just a big fraud. Ouch.

What a shock he was on the bottom again.

And yet again, two of Anya's designers were in the bottom and they made her choose which one should go home. That can't be great for team morale. Her designers must always be worrying not only about whether the judges like them enough to keep them, but whether or not Anya does. Eesh.

On the plus side, Nick Verreos seems to be doing a lot better as a mentor (his team's win last week really helped) and Mondo is, as always, killing it. I think it'll probably be someone from Mondo's team who wins the whole thing, but we'll see.

Next week: Anya Ayoung-Chee slaps her designers and makes them cry. (jk jk...well, maybe)

All the Project Runway contests EVER. How many do you remember?

2014-02-24T14:03:00.000-04:00

Alexander Pope
S12 (7th)

Alexandria von Bromssen
S12 (2nd)

Angela Bacskocky
S12 (16th)

Bradon McDonald
S12 (4th)

Dom Streater
S12 (1st)

Helen Castillo
S12 (5th)

Jeremy Brandrick
S12 (9th)

Justin LeBlanc
S12 (3rd--TGsave)

Kahindo Mateene
S12 (15th)

Karen Batts
S12 (10th)

Kate Pankoke
S12 (6th), S11 (9th)

Ken Laurence
S12 (8th)

Miranda Levy
S12 (11th)

Sandro Masmanidi
S12 (13th--quit)

Sue Waller
S12 (12th)

Timothy Westbrook
S12 (14th)

Amanda Valentine
S11 (8th)

Benjamin Mach
S11 (11th)

Cindy Marlatt
S11 (14th)

Daniel Esquivel
S11 (4th), AS3 (10th)

Emily Pollard
S11 (16th)

James Martinez
S11 (15th)

Joseph Aaron Segal
S11 (13th)

Layana Aguilar
S11 (5th)

Matthew Arthur
S11 (12th)

Michelle Lesniak Franklin
S11 (1st)

Patricia Michaels
S11 (2nd)

Richard Hallmarq
S11 (6th)

Samantha Black
S11 (7th)

Stanley Hudson
S11 (3rd)

Tu Suthiwat Nakchat
S11 (10th)

Alicia Hardesty
S10 (9th)

Andrea Katz
S10 (14th--quit)

Beatrice Guapo
S10 (16th)

Buffi Jashanmal
S10 (12th)

Christopher Palu
S10 (4th), AS3 (4th)

Dmitry Sholokhov
S10 (1st)

Elena Silvnyak
S10 (6th), AS3 (3rd)

Fabio Costa
S10 (2nd)

Gunnar Deatherage
S10 (8th), S9 (17th)

Kooan Kosuke
S10 (13th--quit)

Lantie Foster
S10 (15th)

Melissa Fleis
S10 (3rd), AS3 (9th)

Nathan Paul
S10 (10th)

Raul Osorio
S10 (14th, 11th)

Sonjia Williams
S10 (5th)

Ven Budhu, S10 (7th)

Amanda Perna
S9 (17th)

Anthony Ryan Auld
S9 (7th), AS2 (1st)

Anya Ayoung-Chee
S9 (1st)

Becky Ross
S9 (10th)

Bert Keeter
S9 (6th)

Bryce Black
S9 (9th)

Cecilia Motwani
S9 (13th--quit)

Danielle Everine
S9 (12th)

David Chum
S9 (17th)

Fallene Wells
S9 (15th)

Joshua Christensen
S9 (15th, 11th)

Joshua McKinley
S9 (2nd), AS2 (4th)

Julie Tierney
S9 (14th)

Kimberly Goldson
S9 (4th)

Laura Kathleen Planck
S9 (5th), AS2 (6th)

Olivier Green
S9 (8th)

Rafael Cox
S9 (16th)

Serena Da Conceica
S9 (17th)

Viktor Luna
S9 (3rd), AS3 (5th)

A.J. Thouvenot
S8 (12th)

Andy South
S8 (3rd), AS3 (11th) (as Ari South)

April Johnston
S8 (5th), AS1 (10th)

Carlos Casanova
S8 (10th), AS2 (7th)

Christopher Collins
S8 (6th)

Gretchen Jones
S8 (1st)

Ivy Higa
S8 (8th), AS2 (5th)

Jason Troisi
S8 (16th)

Kristin Haskins Simms
S8 (13th)

McKell Maddox
S8 (17th)

Michael Costello
S8 (4th), AS1 (3rd)

Michael Drummond
S8 (9th)

Mondo Guerra
S8 (2nd), AS1 (1st)

Nicholas D'Aurizio
S8 (15th)

Peach Carr
S8 (11th), AS2 (13th)

Sarah Trost
S8 (14th)

Valerie Mayen
S8 (7th)

Amy Sarabi
S7 (8th)

Anna Lynett
S7 (12th)

Anthony Williams
S7 (7th, 5th), AS1 (9th)

Ben Chmura
S7 (9th)

Christiane King
S7 (16th)

Emilio Sosa
S7 (2nd), AS2 (2nd)

Janeane Marie Ceccanti
S7 (11th)

Jay Nicolas Sario
S7 (4th)

Jesse LeNoir
S7 (10th)

Jesus Estrada
S7 (13th)

Jonathan Peters
S7 (6th)

Maya Luz
S7 (7th--quit)

Mila Hermanovski
S7 (3rd), AS1 (6th)

Pamela Ptak
S7 (15th)

Ping Wu
S7 (14th)

Seth Aaron Henderson
S7 (1st), AS3 (1st)

Althea Harper
S6 (2nd), AS2 (8th)

Ari Fish
S6 (16th)

Carol Hannah Whitfield
S6 (3rd)

Christopher Straub
S6 (5th)

Rodney Epperson
S6 (9th)

Gordana Gehlhausen
S6 (4th), AS1 (11th)

Irina Shabayeva
S6 (1st), AS3 (6th)

Johnny Sakalis
S6 (12th)

Logan Neitzel
S6 (7th)

Louise Black
S6 (10th)

Malvin Vien
S6 (15th)

Mitchell Hall
S6 (14th)

Nicolas Putvinski
S6 (7th)

Qristyl Frazier
S6 (13th)

Ra'mon Lawrence Coleman
S6 (11th)

Shirin Askari
S6 (8th)

Blayne Walsh
S5 (8th)

Daniel Feld
S5 (11th)

Emily Brandle
S5 (14th)

Jennifer Diederich
S5 (13th)

Jerrell Scott
S5 (4th), AS1 (5th)

Jerry Tam
S5 (16th)

Joe Faris
S5 (6th)

Keith Bryce
S5 (10th)

Kelli Martin
S5 (12th)

Kenley Collins
S5 (3rd), AS1 (4th)

Korto Momolu
S5 (2nd), ASC (2nd), AS3 (2nd)

Leanne Marshall
S5 (1st)

Stella Zotis
S5 (9th)

Stephen "Suede" Baum
S5 (5th), AS2 (11th)

Terri Stevens
S5 (7th)

Wesley Nault
S5 (15th)

Carmen Webber
S4 (13th)

Chris March
S4 (12th, 4th), ASC (4th)

Christian Siriano
S4 (1st)

Christiana "Kit Pistol" Scarbo
S4 (8th)

Elisa Jimenez
S4 (10th), AS1 (13th)

Jack Mackenroth
S4 (12th--quit, medical)

Jillian Lewis
S4 (3rd)

Kathleen "Sweet P" Vaughn
S4 (5th), ASC (3rd), AS1 (12th)

Kevin Christiana
S4 (9th)

Marion Lee
S4 (14th)

Rami Kashou
S4 (2nd), AS1 (8th)

Ricky Lizalde
S4 (6th)

Simone LeBlanc
S4 (15th)

Steven Rosengard
S4 (11th)

Victorya Hong
S4 (7th)

Alison Kelly
S3 (9th)

Angela Keslar
S3 (7th)

Bonnie Dominguez
S3 (11th)

Bradley Baumkirchner
S3 (10th)

Jeffrey Sebelia
S3 (1st), ASC (5th-8th)

Katherine Gerdes
S3 (13th)

Kayne Gillaspie
S3 (5th), AS2 (9th)

Keith Michael
S3 (12th,DQ)

Laura Bennett
S3 (3rd)

Malan Breton
S3 (14th)

Mychael Knight
S3 (4th), ASC (5th-8th), AS3 (8th)

Robert Best
S3 (8th)

Stacey Estrella
S3 (15th)

Uli Herzner
S3 (2nd), ASC (5th-8th), AS2 (3rd)

Vincent Libretti
S3 (6th)

Andrae Gonzalo
S2 (6th), AS2 (10th)

Chloe Dao
S2 (1st)

Daniel Vosovic
S2 (2nd), ASC (1st)

Diana Eng
S2 (9th)

Emmett McCarthy
S2 (8th)

Guadalupe Vidal
S2 (11th)

Heidi Standridge
S2 (15th)

John Wade
S2 (16th)

Kara Janx
S2 (4th), AS1 (7th)

Kristen Ehrig
S2 (14th)

Marla Duran
S2 (10th)

Nick Verreos
S2 (5th)

Raymundo Baltazar
S2 (13th)

Santino Rice
S2 (3rd), ASC (5th-8th)

Zulema Griffin
S2 (7th)

Alexandra Vidal
S1 (7th)

Austin Scarlett
S1 (4th), AS1 (2nd)

Daniel Franco
S1 (12th), S2 (12th)

Jay McCarroll
S1 (1st)

Kara Saun
S1 (2nd)

Kevin Johnn
S1 (6th)

Mario Cadenas
S1 (11th)

Nora Caliguri
S1 (8th)

Robert Plotkin
S1 (5th)

Starr Ilzhoefer
S1 (10th)

Vanessa Riley
S1 (9th)

Wendy Pepper
S1 (3rd), AS2 (12th)

Under the Gunn: Nick Verreos is exactly the kind of mentor I expected him to be (in that he's a horrible mentor)

2014-02-22T20:41:00.001-04:00

I hate you, Nick Verreos. Oh, you are so...ugh.

I haven't blogged in a while but Nick Verreos is getting on my last nerve. My very last.

I've been watching the new Project Runway spinoff, Under the Gunn, with cautious optimism. Tim Gunn hosts a design competition (that's enough to get me to watch right there) in which twelve designers are mentored by one of three former Project Runway designers. It's like Project Runway meets Fashion Star, which could be good...maybe.

The choice of mentors is interesting. There's Season 9 winner Anya Ayoung-Chee, Season 8 runner-up and All-Stars winner Mondo Guerra and, uh, Nick Verreos, fifth place contestant from Season 2. But to hear Nick tell it, he's the only mentor worth anything because he knows everything--everything, he tells ya!--there is to know about everything. Plus he comes with bonus Nicks! There's "Instructor Nick," "Hands-On Nick," "Uncle Nick," and "Fashion Bible Nick." Except they're all the same annoying, self-obsessed, fifty-year-old diva. Ugh. I can't even.

Sure, some of Nick's designers are also annoying and that's not entirely his fault. Isabelle would be unbearable no matter whose team she was on. At the same time, if Nick had a more attractive personality as a mentor then more of the better designers would have chosen to be on his team. So it is his fault really.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson look-a-like Bradon McDonald temporarily restores my faith in humanity, bow ties

2013-08-09T17:32:00.005-03:00

Season 12, Episode 4: Tie the Knot

Every week Project Runway promises "drama on the runway" but this week there actually was some. Sandro storming off in a camera-slapping huff. Jesse Tyler Fergusan fabulously talking about gay marriage and bow ties. Marriage proposals on the runway! Heidi offering to be a bridesmaid! It was a pretty great episode all around.

The Challenge:

It started* with the designers being tasked to make a women's wear look inspired by one (or more) of the bow ties from Tie the Knot, Jesse Tyler Ferguson's company that sells bow ties and uses the proceeds to fund the marriage equality lobby. Jesse was adorable and funny and gracious. I call him "Jesse" because I feel like I know him and we're old pals (Don't you?). What they didn't mention on the show was that the winning look would be auctioned off to raise money for tietheknot.org

*I said that's how the show started but actually that's not true. The episode actually started with a clip of Sandro flipping out in the designers' lounge and getting into a big fight with Helen and Ken, then storming off in a mannequin-flipping hissy fit. Then the words "36 Hours Earlier" came up on the screen. So obviously this whole episode was going to be framed around Sandro's freak out. But more on that later.

The Workroom:

For this challenge, the designers had a "suggested budget" of $200 and most of them stayed well within it. Except Sue, who seems to be both stubborn and somewhat incompetent, who spent $400. Then she made two dresses. For no reason. And she chose the uglier one (by far) to send down the runway. People tried to tell her but...stubborn.

Miranda's "tough chick" exterior lasted its predictable 3 seconds before she once again turned into a crying mess of self-doubt and repetition. In the end she made the exact same pencil skirt and crop top combination she's made every week so far (except for last week when Timothy forced her to make something much worse). I can't imagine what an entire runway show of hers would look like. Actually I can and it's very boring.

The other designer who had trouble this week was Jeremy, who had just received the bad news that his grandmother had died. Well he kept saying it was his grandmother but then he said it was actually his husband's maternal grandmother. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt that what he meant was that he is so close to his husband's family that his grandmother-in-law feels like his own "gran." Because the way he said it made it sound like he had married his first cousin. Just sayin'.

Sandro also struggled this week, trying to figure out what the judges want from him. Tim tried his best to remind him that you have to be true to your own design aesthetic and not drive yourself crazy trying to please the judges. But Sandro seemed only partially convinced. And completely drunk, once again. But I kind of liked his dress. Sort of.

Helen seemed to love her look...at first. In the workroom she had a body-con strapless dress in soft grey that she claimed was "menswear inspired" because of the colour and because she had a bow tie around her dress form's neck. When Tim told her it looked very feminine to him she flipped out and didn't want to do anything anymore. I don't know how she even managed to turn the promising dress she was working on in the workroom into the ridiculous pile of bland fabrics that came down the runway.

Sigh. Helen is so immature it's kind of annoying. She's like a moody teenager who wants people to think she's tough but who is constantly looking for validation. Her fantasy design is pretty wedding gowns which she has zero idea how to make (like many twelve-year-olds). When she hears even the slightest criticism, she flips out. Her behaviour is boring and childish and I can't wait until she's (soon) eliminated.

Not all of the designers faltered of course. Kate's look ended up being well received by the judges, despite it looking like a frumpier version of the same sweet little princess silhouette that she does ALL THE TIME, except with leggings. I was unimpressed.

Dom continues to be one to watch with her truly impressive sewing skills and taste level. Her look wasn't my favourite, but I definitely liked it and was glad she had spent her time making it perfect--as Tim suggested--rather than doing a half-assed job so she'd have time to make a jacket. Good choice, Dom. I bet her dress was one that looked even better up close than on TV because of all the pattern detail she did with the stripes.

But my favourite by far--and also the judges' favourite--was Bradon's look. His top made of bow ties was all kinds of clever, even though it could have gone bad fast. I think every art student that I've ever met has a "necktie skirt" somewhere in the back of their closet, so I was afraid it was going to look like student work (like Alexander's bow tie bib that he was inordinately proud of, for instance) but it didn't. Heidi was right though--part of it was because Bradon's model, Ya, has an AMAZING body. He's very lucky to have her as his muse.

The Runway:

Heidi announces that Bradon, Miranda, Sue, Dom, Kate and Jeremy are the top and bottom designers, which means that everyone else is safe. But the judges do want to point out that Helen is damn lucky to have immunity because based on her effort this week, they have serious reservations about her ability. Nina tells her she suspects Helen's win last week had more to do with Kate's ability than her own. This is a totally fair and reasonable criticism, which Helen must realize since she tries to hide behind the other designers (literally) when the judges call her. She knows she did a horrible job. But that doesn't stop her from being bratty and indignant backstage ("They had the NERVE to say I only won because of Kate?!").

Sandro, despite being safe, demands the judges give him feedback on his design. Zac Posen tells him it looks like a woman doing a walk of shame the day after a red carpet event and that he has questionable taste. Sandro insists that he's learning, that he's a student, but Zac points out that it's not "Project Runway Student Edition" (ARE YOU LISTENING, HELEN?). (Note to self: Email the producers and ask them to do a Project Runway: Student Edition season. It would either be great...or truly terrible).

Back stage, Sandro stews over what the judges said while Helen cries and yells at him for not caring about HER feelings more. God I'm sick of Helen. People were right to criticize Sandro's outburst on the runway because it was awkward and inappropriate, but if you listen to Helen's actual criticism of him, it's all about her. She's crying because SHE WAS BARELY SAFE YOU GUYS and why don't people care more about that? Ugh. I'm not excusing Sandro's bad behaviour, but Helen isn't the good guy here. Basically they were just having their own separate meltdowns at each other.

Of course, only Sandro's resulted in him storming out of the building and punching the cameras on the way. I wonder what bar he ended up in?

But back to the runway. Dom, Kate and Bradon were on the top and Bradon took the win. I loved his look and was thrilled for him.

Bradon was thrilled with the win as well, but even more so, he was emotional about the marriage equality theme of the challenge. Which is what prompted him to PROPOSE ON AIR to his long-term partner, Josh. WOW! Heidi even said she'd be a bridesmaid (she won't, but it would be awesome if she went to the wedding)! I wasn't sure if Bradon intended to wait until the show aired and let Josh see the proposal on TV, but it turned out he didn't have to because in a video chat with him later that day, Josh proposed to him! YAY! I wonder if the producers thought to film their video chat from the beginning, just in case, or if they made them repeat their whole conversation for the camera. Either way, it was all kinds of sweet. It gave me the feelings in my mushy heart.

But let's get back to Sandro. What the hell happened? When Tim came out to tell Heidi and the other judges that Sandro had stormed off and had gone missing, did you see their faces? Nina was priceless. She looked like she was struggling not to burst out laughing at the absurdity and drama of it all.

In the end Sandro's behaviour led to his elimination (whether he quit, was disqualified or simply went missing was unclear...possibly a combination of those?). So that means that the bottom three--Miranda, Sue and Jeremy--were all safe. Miranda met this news with self-pitying tears. But I suspect that's also how she'd react if you told her she won a fruit basket in an office draw. She cries a lot is what I'm saying.

Next Week:

It looks like another group challenge, but I'm not sure what they'll be doing. Can't wait though!

Is it wrong that the Japanese cookie monster dress is possibly my favourite thing from Project Runway EVER?

2013-08-02T17:51:00.002-03:00

This week the designers had another unconventional materials challenge (Yayyyy!! shouted the home audience! Uh...yay...murmured the contestants). They had to go to Coney Island and use prizes from the midway as the materials for their looks. Good thing the games were rigged in their favour this time because otherwise they would have all been making dresses out of key chains and temporary tattoos, with a couple of fluorescent feather roach clips for good measure. At least that's all I ever win at the midway. But after only an hour the designers came away with mountains of giant teddy bears, blue vinyl aliens, blue vinyl dolphins and a pile of red sombreros. In teams of two, they could design any look they wanted.

Oh and they had to shill for Yoplait Frozen Yogurt FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I know Project Runway has a lot of sponsors and therefore a lot of product placements, but this Yoplait "advertisode" was particularly shameless. The designers had to hand out samples of the yogurt to the public (What public? Weren't they there at the crack of dawn so they could play all the rigged games before the park was open? Was it just the park staff and the crew of the show? I wonder.) then they had to ask them for "words to describe the experience" (I believe that's also known as "advertising copy"). They were supposed to use their favourite three words as the inspiration for their looks. Why? No reason. Yoplait wasn't awarding any prize money for this challenge, nor was the winning look associated with Yoplait in any way. In fact, they weren't judged on how well they drew inspiration from the yogurt or the descriptor words or anything. I'm pretty sure Nina didn't even know what they were talking about when they started saying things like "our words were 'fun' and 'energetic'". It was just a live commercial for one of the sponsors that had nothing to do with anything. Moving on.

The teams were "randomly" picked using the button bag. We'll just have to trust that it was random but we have no real way of knowing. It could have just as easily been prearranged by the producers, which wouldn't surprise me at all. Especially when they showed the clip of Miranda moaning about how much she hopes she doesn't have to work with fellow Milwaukite (Milwaukian?) Timothy, then cut to her being paired with Timothy. It was the pairing of the unpleasant bespectacled brunettes and it was--expectedly--not pretty. Timothy was an idiot child and Miranda was a grouchy mean girl babysitter. Miranda complained loudly about him to all the other designers while Timothy flounced off in a huff with his unicorn to have a good cry. Who am I even supposed to be rooting for here? Neither of them, that's for sure.

And what about Team Sandro and Sue? Talk about an unpleasant pairing! Sue seems nice enough but she doesn't know how to use a sewing machine. At all. Every year there's one designer who's a little overwhelmed by the high tech machines because they've gotten used to working on a crappy second hand one at home, or someone who is horrible at threading bobbins or something, but Sue seems utterly clueless. It makes me feel bad for all the crap that Season 9 winner Anya took for only learning to sew in the months leading up to her stint on Project Runway because at least she learned to sew. Sue seems unapologetic in her incompetence and expects people to help her every week. Having said that, she couldn't have gotten stuck with a worse partner. To say Sandro is short-tempered and belligerent would be an understatement. He actually seems more like a black out drunk to me. Like I seriously would not be surprised if in the reunion show they show him clips from the workroom and he says, "I don't remember any of that." The only time he was happy was when Sue just gave up and said she'd do whatever he said, which is apparently the way he thinks women should behave to men. Charming.

Not every team had drama. Kate and Helen got along famously, so much so that Helen "almost felt embarrassed for calling her a bitch." Almost, but not quite apparently. The thing about Kate is that she's easy to get along with if you agree with everything she says and kiss her ass, which Helen did. Helen is like a yappy little puppy that thinks it's so big and tough until Cesar Millan comes along and dominates it. In this case, Kate is Cesar Millan (I half expected her to say "Tsst" at Helen). Clearly she has found her new Tu.

One team I was surprised by was Alexandria and Dom. As a viewer, I really like Alexandria. She's pretty and grouchy and has a great accent. But I can't imagine she'd be much fun for her fellow designers. But not only did she and Dom do well together, they actually made something really fun and quirky, not what I was expecting at all! It also seemed like it wasn't all just one designer's point of view, which is great. And even though I know that their Japanese monster dress would probably be better suited on a younger girl, I WOULD WEAR THE HECK OUT OF THAT DRESS! I would wear it EVERYWHERE if I had it. People would be embarrassed to be seen with me after a while but I wouldn't even care. I'd chase them away with my giant fluffy monster teeth. RAWR!!

Which reminds me...what exactly did Sandro think "fluffy" meant? He said he thought it was something sexual and he and Bradon whispered to each other and Bradon nodded knowingly. I WANT TO KNOW! Please let that be revealed in the behind-the-scenes/reunion show!!

As for the winners and losers? I can't say I disagreed with the judges. I personally preferred Alexandria and Dom's look, but I think Kate and Helen's was harder to make and more dramatic in its own way. I was happy that both of those teams were in the top. And even though the judges were spoiled for choice for the bottom, it was pretty clear that the two teams they chose were particularly bad. Alexander and Jeremy seemed incapable of leaving any idea on the workroom floor (More! We need more! More plastic! More ruffles!).

But Timothy and Miranda were doomed from the start. Even the one thing that Timothy was so proud of, that damn woven vest, was terrible. And how great was it when Kelly Osbourne said she had seen videos on the internet on how to make that exact thing? I was happy that no one else was sacrificed just so ridiculous Timothy could have one more chance. It was definitely his time to go.

I'd had about as much as I could stand of his lectures on what "real" unicorns were like (they're not horses with horns, but are more closely related to hippos? WTF??). At first I thought he just loved unicorns the way someone would love glitter or the colour pink. Or maybe the way Bronies love My Little Ponies. In a fun, campy way. Then he got all serious about the "real" biology of unicorns and I was like, "What the what?"

I can only hope that Timothy did enough to get mentioned on The Soup. I'd love to see Joel McHale react to Timothy's cloven hoof unicorn theories and tears.

Does anyone else get the feeling the producers are really the ones picking the winners and losers?

2013-07-28T09:27:00.001-03:00

On this week's episode of Project Runway, the designers had a dream challenge. Design a look that compliments diamond jewellery collectively worth over $30 million. Wowza! They've certainly amped up their sponsorship this year! How funny was it to see the designers faces when they saw the security guards on the runway? They reasonably assumed that the men were their models and maybe they were designing uniforms...until they saw the real guns.

It reminded me of the Philip Treacy challenge in which they had to make outfits to show off outrageous hats. Like that challenge, I expected a lot of simple, slinky dresses walking down the runway, showing off but not distracting from all the sparkles.

But the reaction I was most excited to see was of course Timothy's. We know two things about Timothy so far: One, he claims to be all about "sustainable eco-conscious wear." And two, he has no idea what that means. Again he did not disappoint.

There are a lot of very good reasons to be uncomfortable with diamonds. Remember Blood Diamond? What about the fact that they represent a socioeconomic divide between the haves and have-nots? What about the fact that we mine the earth just to get rocks that take millions of years to form and mostly just use them for decoration? But no. Timothy didn't think of any of that.

His objection? "We have to pick the prettiest diamond. And that's very superficial."

Oh. My. God.

His campaign of cluelessness continued when the designers got to Mood. He gleefully and self-righteously made a production of going through the "garbage" but then changed that to the "remnants" and then just picked fabric that had been dropped off by another design house (Zac Posen apparently!). So I'm not sure how much "upcycling" that really is. Tim tried to direct him to the organics section, but he wasn't interested. He seemed to think that if the fabric was "pre-owned" it was more eco-friendly than if it was not, regardless of what kind of fabric it was. But as Mila Hermanovski points out, half of Mood is "pre-owned." Design houses drop fabrics off ALL THE TIME, so you'll find things there that say "Marc Jacobs," "Vera Wang," etc. But still he managed to find the ugliest blue velvet (sorry Zac) and pair it with what looked like lining material. It was odious.

Oh and he used makeup on his model. Because it's easy to change your convictions on a dime when you're making them up as you go.

But Timothy's wasn't the only ugly, ill-fitting dress on the runway. Jeremy's looked like a dirty feather duster. Karen's looked like it was made by a twelve-year old. Helen's sad brown dress made the model look like she had no chest (that poor model! she was Timothy's shoeless, product-less model last week). And Alexander's, though well made, looked like a Golden Girl Gone Wild.

With all these candidates for last place, how the heck did Kahindo go home? Her dress was (mostly) finished, (mostly) well-made, and maybe a little boring. In other words it was middle-of-the-road, safe. IT WAS THE VERY DEFINITION OF SAFE. Why wasn't it, in fact, safe from elimination?

I suspect it was Kahindo rather than her dress that got eliminated. Sandro and Timothy make good TV and I think it'll be a long time before we see the end of them, at least if the producers have anything to say about it (which of course they do...besides Heidi IS one of the producers). And Helen had a full-blown panic attack on camera so I wasn't surprised they decided to keep her. I personally would have loved to see more of Kahindo and I was disappointed to see her go, especially when she didn't have the worst dress (or even the most boring, I think).

As for the winner, Kate? I don't want to talk about it. I'm just trying to ignore her so she'll go away. So far it's not working.

8 Reasons To Be Excited About the New Season of Project Runway

2013-07-25T15:34:00.001-03:00

1. It's Project Runway, bitches! Project Runway has always been my favourite reality competition show by far, and after 11 regular seasons, several different "all-star" seasons, numerous spinoffs, a network shift and a few cast changes, it's still as great as it ever was. I love the format, I love Heidi and Tim, and I love that we get to see talented professionals make things that we can see and judge from home. I also love cooking competition shows but unfortunately you can't smell and taste the food through the TV so it's a little harder to judge. But we can all see the clothes and decide for ourselves if they're fugly.

2. Anonymous runway shows. This is very smart. I like that the judges are going to see and rate the clothes first before they know who did what, presumably to reduce their natural bias for or against certain designers. Having said that, I wonder how long it'll be before they all can spot whose design is whose. Not long, I suspect. Plus I bet there will be at least one designer who gets negative feedback if the judges can't immediately spot which design is theirs after a certain point. In the end it may not make a huge difference in the judging, but I think it may make the designers feel like they're on a more even playing field.

3. Tim gets to sit with the judges! It's about time. I understand why it's important for the role of mentor and the role of judge to be separate. There have been other fashion competition shows in which that is not the case, and it usually gets messy. As Tim has said, it's important that the clothes are judged based on the product, not the process. At the same time, it's nice that Tim can be there to bring perspective when needed. And he gets a veto card! I'll be so interested to see when he'll use it!

4. The judges get to see the top and bottom looks UP CLOSE. OMG this could be a game changer (forgive the overused phrase). I only wish that Ramon had been the designer voted back in so he could try to pass off something like his green neoprene monstrosity as a finished look. As Tim Gunn has openly said, that would NOT have held up to close scrutiny!

5. Designers get to decide their own budgets. Oh boy. How is this going to work exactly? Instead of a set budget for each challenge, the designers will be given a GoBank account with $4000 and a debit card. Every time they go to Mood, they will have to decide how much of that budget they are going to spend. Spend too much and they may run out of money before the end of the season (that MUST happen to at least on designer, right?). Spend too little and they may have trouble competing with the other looks. What do do? Also, will they be able to retain scraps from one challenge to the next, using leftover zippers and fabrics in future challenges? My guess is no, but it'll be interesting to see how it all plays out. And what happens in team challenges?

6. Zac Posen. I know this is actually his second season as a full-time judge but it took me a while to warm up to him. It's not that I don't like him (LOVE HIM ACTUALLY!) but I was sure I would miss Michael Kors. Turns out I don't miss him all that much. While it's fun to have the eccentrically mean judge, which is what Kors had become, the truth is that all of the judges can be mean at times, and Heidi at least is no stranger to the eccentric turn of phrase. So it's still a very entertaining panel to watch. But Zac's criticism seems nicer and more constructive, which makes it all the more satisfying when he calls a designer out on their $#!@.

7. Timothy Westbrook and his smuggy interpretation of "sustainability." Why is this a good thing, you may ask? Surely the 24-year-old Milwaukee designer who "identifies as a sustainability focused fibre artist" but then is giddy over the prospect of burning nylon parachute material, which releases toxic fumes into the environment, is too much of an idiot to be tolerated? And a smug idiot at that! Yes, that's true. But I think this smugiot will be very fun to watch simply because every single person on the show seems to know more about sustainability than he does, which will cause no end of opportunities to laugh at him.

He seems to think that sustainable fashion refers to only using found or recycled materials (actually that's called upcycling or trashion) or not using any electricity, makeup or hair products. Of course, he doesn't seem to know WHICH of these beauty products may be bad for the environment and which ones would be gentler alternatives, nor does he seem interested in finding out. He also seems to have no concept of the impact of the manufacturing process on the environment, which is the main focus of the sustainable design movement. The chemicals involved in making synthetic fabrics (or glittery shoes), for instance, or the pesticides involved in growing non-organic cotton. Or the worldwide impact of the fashion industry on the working conditions of factory workers or cotton farmers. These are the sort of global concerns that designers like Stella McCartney think about. Not things like using a wood burning stove to make a dress so you don't have to use electricity.

Like I said, he's a smugiot. But I can't wait to make fun of him some more! I hope Zac Posen yells at him in every challenge!

8. Holy prizes, Batman! The fact that this season boasts the biggest prize package to date may not make much of a difference to me as a viewer, but it should make the designers that much more competitive. Also, some of the perks that come from having a TONNE of heavy duty sponsors are pretty spectacular, like next week's $30 MILLION WORTH OF DIAMONDS ON THE RUNWAY. OMG I can't wait!

So what am I NOT so psyched about? In a word, Kate. I'm no fan of the "second chance bonus designer" idea to start with, because I think it weakens the integrity of the entire show. I hate when competitions that are supposed to be based on merit and how people perform in each individual challenge then turn around and say, "Just kidding! These people will get a second chance. Or a third. Or a fan vote comeback. Or an all-star season. Or a just-because-we-said-so bonus chance. Just these people though, not everyone." Because then it's no longer a competition based on merit. It's based on merit UNLESS the producers really like you and find ways to bring you back no matter what. I hate it. (Well, except the all-star season. I can live with that. But still, how MANY seasons can we have of that and still call them "All-Stars"?)

But even if I didn't hate the concept, I'd still hate Kate. She's unlikable. REALLY unlikable, and not even in a "fun to hate" kind of way. She's not a Disney villain. She's more like that bratty, bitchy girl you're forced to sit next to in high school even though you can't stand her. And since she's from Season 11, it feels like we JUST got rid of her and now she's back. It's like finding out that the bitchy girl from high school is now your sister-in-law. Ugh. I can't wait until Heidi divorces her (OMG I'm sorry for making a Heidi divorce joke. TOO SOON!).

Be back soon!

2012-08-27T16:44:00.002-03:00

I know I'm two weeks behind on my PR blog but it's been a crazy busy August and now, on top of everything else, I have the flu. I feel too icky to think, let alone blog, but I promise I'll be back soon! Right now though I'm going back to bed.

Project Runway: Season 10: Episode 4: I Can See Your Fish Whistle From Here!

2012-08-12T15:54:00.000-03:00

EPISODE 4: Women (and Designers) on the GO

The Drama #1: Andrea
Yes, Andrea left in the middle of the night. And yes, she's been criticized by her fellow designers and numerous bloggers for "not setting a good example for her students." But if I may just defend her for a moment. A lot of former Project Runway contestants have PR Blogs (some are better than others) and many of them have insisted over and over just how difficult the pressure can be, so they understand why some contestants call it quits (which has certainly happened a lot in the past, not just with Andrea!). But Laura Bennett's blog made an excellent point about Andrea specifically. When a designer leaves, they aren't allowed to actually leave. Eliminated designers are held in limbo, sequestered by the show until all the episodes have been filmed, sometimes being made to attend public appearances with the other designers so no one can figure out who has been eliminated when. If Andrea wanted to go HOME, she couldn't. Or at least she couldn't be SURE they'd let her. The producers and crew are following the designers for nearly 22 hours a day. They're woken up, sometimes as early as 4am, and they are often in the work room until midnight, then they have to film their interviews (the talking heads that air throughout the show) until nearly 2am. The middle of the night is the only time Andrea could have snuck off without someone stopping her. Yes, it sucks. But I get it.

Okay, moving on.

The Drama #2: Kooan
Oh, Kooan. I feel bad for him. I'm not sure what happened in real life, but the editing of the show made it look like Irina from last week broke his soul. In show promos, it was implied that Kooan had previous mental health problems, but that just makes me feel worse for him. Will he have to stay in the "eliminated designer rooms" for several more weeks, just feeling more sad and isolated? Sigh. Probably. Poor guy.

Plus, it was really sad to see all the designers crying. Especially Nathan, who has been a bit of a non-personality so far.

And then this happened.

The Drama #3: Raul
They brought Raul back. Of course they did. It's no surprise, but the big surprise is that he wasn't immediately eliminated again. I loved watching the other designers quietly avoid his glance as he bragged that he "never should have been eliminated in the first place." I don't think anyone thought that was true. Whenever I see Raul I think, "he's the guy with the million affectations." A few years back on a Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant podcast, they were reading a viewer letter from someone who called himself "The Party Animal." Ricky and Steve just started making fun of him, saying they imagined he was the guy who kept insisting on his own coolness, wanting to be known by his "million affectations." Like, he's the guy who only ever wears bowling shoes. He's the guy who always carries a lunch box around. He's the guy with the Doctor Who scarf that his mom made him. That's how I see Raul. He wants to be known as the guy who always has the pointy bangs. He's the guy who always wears the Molly Ringwald hat. He's the guy in the vest. He's the guy with the unidentifiable accent. He's got a million affectations! But not much else.

Okay, finally:

The Challenge:
It's a pretty soft ball challenge this week, and thank goodness because I don't think the designers could have handled too much more than that. Basically they have to design versatile active wear for the woman on the go, a la Michael Kors. They're not required to make it specifically day-to-night, nor are they told to make sportswear separates. All they're told is to make sure it doesn't wrinkle. I was hoping there would be a twist like there was in Season 3 (Laura Bennett's season) when the designers had to prove how well their clothes would travel by literally getting on a plane while wearing them. But it's probably for the best. These designers are so very, very tired.

The Workroom:
I've said this before but I'll say it again. As a viewer, I adore Christopher. But if I were a fellow contestant on his season, I would spit in his food. He's WAY too nosy about everyone else's work! Trying to get Buffi to change her design and use some of his fabric instead? I get that Buffi's work was unsuccessful and she did ultimately go home for it, but in the moment she must have wanted to punch Christopher for all his "constructive criticism." And it wasn't just with Buffi! He had his nose in everyone's business! See, THIS is why every new crop of designers thinks that the challenges are longer than one day. Because when you watch the show the designers always seem to find time to sit around staring at each other's work! Why aren't they focusing on their own? I'm sure it's just the editing, but it looks like Christopher spent 60% of his time sitting around sucking his teeth at other people's designs (as did Nathan, Sonjia and Melissa--where did they even find the time for that?).

As annoying as it would be for other designers, Christopher's buttinskyism did result in the show's golden moment. When Fabio was fitting his model with his way-too-short and terribly made dress, Christopher quipped, "Oh, I can see her fish whistle from here!" Pure gold.

The Runway:
Uh-oh. Heidi is wearing a cheetah-print Flintstones dress. Is that a nod to Buffi? Since we already know that Buffi's the one that is eliminated, I'm going to go with yes. Yes it is. (I realize that's not possible, but I'm not above believing that Heidi is psychic.)

Sonjia
It really did look fantastic on the model, especially when she was walking. I did notice that it was a lot thinner and more see-through than I assumed it would be (I could see the model's legs through the fabric) but that would probably make it pretty comfortable too. It didn't look quite as good in still photos or when the model was standing before the judges (well, slouching before the judges). It kind of bunched up a bit on one side, which was weird. I think it's the kind of dress that would look good on a variety of body types, but not a wide variety, if that makes sense. Like, not everyone could wear this, but quite a few people could. And I think it would look great in different colours.

Alicia
I actually loved this. I thought it really showed Alicia's point of view and was a more polished version of her signature "baby dyke" look. The "versatility" was really that it was middle-of-the-road casual, so I don't know if it completely fulfilled the challenge. You could wear this to work at most jobs, but could you wear this to a social event at night? I don't know. But you could go from the office to the grocery store for sure.

Melissa

"Salem, this is just the beginning..."

I feel like Melissa from Season 10 is living the dream of April from Season 8. She's older (but looks younger), prettier (sorry April, I know that's not relevant), and way better at what she does. She makes the witchy woman goth clothes that I think April left on her sketchbook. This look isn't for everyone, for sure, but I think it came out exactly how Melissa intended (which April's clothes almost never did).

Buffi
Do you ever get the sense that Buffi is only a designer because if she wasn't, she wouldn't know what else to do with her life? Like she needs to legitimize her clubbing-every-night-in-her-30's lifestyle with a "job" that's not really a job? When this fails to work out, I'm sure she'll start saying she's a handbag or jewellery designer or perhaps a "stylist." If her father was famous, she'd probably have her own auto-tuned vanity pop single out by now.

Fabio

Oh geez. I think he might be this year's Jerrell Scott (Season 5). Remember Jerrell? He was beautiful and fabulous and oh-so-fashionable, yet his clothes were sort of sad and ugly. Then it turns out that Jerrell Scott (born: Scott Jerrell) was really an aspiring actor and model. Although, Nathan might also be vying to be this season's Jerrell, since his clothes are also sad and plain and use that weird ugly colour palette. And like Jerrell, Nathan can actually sew. I'm not sure what Fabio can do. His clothes have zero relationship with how he himself dresses. What is going on, Fabio?? Also, I don't know why the judges never said anything about the fact that he chose a print and then DIDN'T LINE IT UP IN THE BACK! They HATE that! Maybe they did say it but it didn't air. It's all I could see when the model turned around.

Gunnar

EEESH!! Okay, there are a few designers who might be vying for the role of "personally fabulous, professionally disastrous" (sorry, Jerrell, to keep using you as an example!). Gunnar seems to think of himself as the prettiest girl in the room, but this design is just a bunch of ugly, outdated colours thrown together. Yuck!

Nathan

Oh so sad. That colour is just awful, is terrible on the model's skin tone, and makes no sense with the purple bag. The worst thing is that Nathan seems to be racing for the middle, not caring if he ever impresses the judges. Perhaps he never will.

Dmitry

Was that really ONE seam? That's pretty cool. I'm not sure how it would look on someone who actually had breasts bigger than an AA cup, but then again the cutout in the back would make it hard for a busty girl to wear a proper bra (oh I sound like Joanna Coles). I like it okay, but I'm not sure about the placement of all that pleat detail, crossing between the breasts like that. I bet on me the pleats would be in all the wrong places and I'd look like someone had just drawn a giant 'X' across my boobs, like "no access" or something. Weird.

Ven

What happened Ven?? I know you love pleats (LOVE 'EM) but I think you may need a pleat intervention. Here it just looks like you made a saggy lunch bag into a dress by throwing a full body zipper on it. Yet it is "exactly the look" he was going for. Uh-oh.

Raul

Bahahahahahaha! Okay, that's just so awful that I have nothing to say about it because I'm too busy laughing my ass off. Yeah, you were too talented to be eliminated, Raul. Surrre, you were.

Elena

Okay, in Elena's portfolio and audition tape, all her "warrior inspired" clothes look like something Janet Jackson would wear in the video "Scream" (remember that? It was awesome). But week after week she's just been presenting larger and larger clothes that make her model look less like a warrior and more like an agoraphobic who's trying to make a house out of her clothes that she can hide in. Next week I expect her to make a neutral-coloured turtle shell and just have the model's eyes and hands poking out.

Christopher

Oooh! Sharp! This was my favourite look this week. The only thing I didn't like was the length of the part that hangs down on the side. It's WAY too long! But if that were shorter, it would be fantastic! And that jacket is great. I wonder if it can actually close? But it reminds me of another jacket we've seen on the PR runway before, only I can't think of which one. Does anyone know?

The Judging:
The guest judges are Rachel Roy (awesome!) and Hayden Panettiere (careful, she'll date you and then try to get you kicked off the show!).

The Safe Words:

Gunnar, Melissa, Nathan, Ven, Alicia and Elena are all safe. Gunnar is "flabbergasted" because apparently he thought he would win (he's so delusional) and Melissa thinks Fabio will win (WHAT? Was she being sarcastic?)

The Tops:
Sonjia's model is stunning, but I wanted to tell her to stand up straight. Was she slouching? Or was it just the fabric of the dress that made her look like she had a mysterious third boob just above her waist? But the judges loved her dress (it was pretty good, except for the odd bunching). Plus, Sonjia is like a fashionable Tootie Ramsay from Facts of Life!

Christopher's dress and jacket look modern and expensive and the judges all love it. I wonder if he would have won if the side drape hadn't been so long. Tiny little Hayden Panettiere would have tripped on that and broken her tiny leg!

Dmitry can definitely sew and I think it'll keep him around for quite a few challenges, but he just couldn't grab the win this week.

The Bottoms:
The judges were understandably confused how someone as interesting as Fabio can make clothes that are so uninteresting. He's wearing a turban and ropes! Yet his model is wearing something you could get at Old Navy (but at Old Navy the pattern would line up in the back).

It was pretty obvious that Buffi was in trouble. Like Rachel Roy said, if your look only works when you add a belt, it's not really a garment. Like Michael Kors said, it's a hairdressing smock covering a badly made dress.

I think Raul really should have gone home. Not only was this his second chance, but it was also his "opportunity to make a suit," according to him. Since he's a menswear designer, he should be able to make a suit! But this is...I'm running out of synonyms for "awful." The t-shirt looks like it's broken, the pants are pieced together with a series of accidents and oopsies, and the vest is just an insult to the human body. I cannot stress enough how much I dislike this.

The Results:

Sonjia WINS! I was surprised it wasn't Christopher but it was a solid win. Besides, Hayden wanted to wear the winning dress to a red carpet event, so that tipped it in Sonjia's favour. Go Tootie!

Buffi is OUT. While it's legitimate that she was auf'd, I was sad to see Raul stay over her. I do think that whenever a designer comes back after being eliminated, they should have to prove themselves all the more because they've already been given a second chance that the others didn't get. So if a second chance designer is in the bottom three, I think they should usually be the one to go home. Plus, Buffi's so nice! I think the other designers will miss her, especially in the team challenge next week.

Next Week:
TEAM CHALLENGE! Plus, it looks like it's for Nina, which is always a nightmare for the designers. Looks like there will be tears. If only Buffi were there to keep everyone smiling!

Project Runway Season 10 Episode 3: Finally, a little drama! But still...there could have been more.

2012-08-09T09:19:00.001-03:00

Episode 3: Welcome Back to the Runway, Losers (and some winners)!

Heidi meets the designers on the runway and she's back to her usual fabulous self. Did anyone else notice that her chic gold dress looks like it could have been designed by Ven? All that pleating at the collar looks like it's right up his ally. Then again, last week she wore something that reminded me of Lantie and that's who went home, so I hope it's not a bad sign for Ven! (Wait, no, he has immunity.)

As per usual with team challenges, some designers are more excited than others

The Challenge:
It's the Lexus Red Carpet challenge and the designers must work in teams of two to design a red carpet look for the Emmys, incorporating the colour of the Lexus they've been assigned into their designs. Their clients are past contestants from Project Runway. The teams are chosen randomly. Here's the breakdown:

How cute are Dmitry and Melissa here? It won't last

Team Brown: Andrea & Christopher: Anya Ayoung-Chee, Season 9 Winner

Team Red: Raul & Alicia: Mina Hermanovski, Season 7 Finalist

Team White: Gunnar & Kooan: Irina Shabayeva, Season 6 Winner (but I'm not sure Season 6 should even count)

Team Silver: Melissa & Dmitry: April Johnston, Season 8, All-Stars (nice girl, but how she made All-Stars is a giant mystery to me)

Team Champagne: Sonjia & Nathan: Valerie Mayen, Season 8 (Oh my goodness, I barely remember her. Did she go home in the first couple of weeks in her season? Maybe somebody more memorable dropped out at the last minute and she filled in?)

Team Black: Elena & Buffi: Laura Bennett, Season 3 Finalist

Team Navy Blue: Ven & Fabio: Kenley Collins, Season 5 Finalist

The Consultation:

Mina should be easy to design for since she has a specific point of view, a limited colour palette, and her designers are both MENSWEAR DESIGNERS! How could Alicia and Raul NOT nail this? Well, hard work and determination, that's how. They seemed determined from the start not to do what they were best at because, for some reason, they thought "everyone said they had to do gowns." In her blog, Mina later expressed how flummoxed she was by this choice.

Two menswear designers and Mina? A match made in heaven? Not if these two have anything to say about it!

Kenley's consultation goes about exactly how you'd expect it to. Did her designers even get to speak?

Nothing says "take me seriously" like a 35-year-old woman dressed like a five-year-old. What ever happened to Sweet Baby Kenley?

The Workroom:
The designers compare notes about clients, with each claiming that their client is the hardest one. I love when Christopher just pointed to Anya's picture on the wall and said, "Boop! I got Anya." Of course the reason I loved that is because he reminds me so much of my friend Brad, so only those of you reading this who KNOW Brad would even get that (but a few of you do, I'm sure!). Even the way he puts his hands on his hips and hunches his shoulders like a contestant on America's Next Top Model reminds me of Brad. So I really like Christopher. (Although I will say this, I don't think my friend Brad would turn into "the guy who cries" if he were on a reality competition show, like Christopher seems to be.)

Fabio looks on while Ven explains the dress that he and Kenley designed

Tim Gunn comes in and SURPRISE! The winner of the challenge gets to GO with the client to the Emmys! Holy Smokes! That's fun! Of course, it's not entirely clear why their clients are even going to the Emmys in the first place, but let's just assume that they're guests of the show.

In another feat of sheer determination, Christopher and Andrea manage to find a colour that looks terrible on Anya

Things seem to be proceeding along nicely until the clients visit the workroom. Anya tells Christopher and Andrea she doesn't want to show so much skin, which Andrea insists is no problem but which almost makes Christopher cry. Mina is very concerned over the red print that Raul and Alicia are working with (of course she is, it breaks up the black and white colour palette that she is married to). And Laura confirms to Buffi and Elena what they've already feared: their skirt will never be finished in time if they don't change strategies. Elena looks like her head is going to explode, which prompts Buffi to tell her to calm down. Elena behaves how ALL calm people behave: she screams "I AM CALM!" and storms out of the building for an indeterminate amount of chain smoking. Because she's super calm.

Irina is as lovely and pleasant as always (remember her from Season 6? She was a smug, entitled, unpleasant ogre then, and nothing has changed). She later goes on to kill all Kooan's joy

When Christopher's not busy freaking out over his own partner and her "snail-like" sewing skills, he makes some pretty funny comments about Elena. "Her personality is like she just escaped...from the woods. And she's ravenous. And she'll bite your head off."

Elena defends her behaviour to the camera by explaining that where she's from, in the Ukraine, "you have to be tough." Okay, fair enough. I bet it was hard there. "Nobody is going to say please or thank-you there." What? Really? That sounds-- "In Ukraine if you want to eat, you have to, like, really hustle every day. Only the strong survive." Jesus! That sounds like some sort of underground fighting ring! What the hell? "The weak ones, they don't survive." ACK! Was that a threat?

Fabio seems to have had a lot of time this challenge. Also, he looks like the Hasidic version of Andrea. I just noticed that

Thankfully everyone manages to (somehow) get their shit together enough to send their models (i.e. past contestants) down the runway. But not before Irina tries to rip Gunnar and Kooan's eyes out about her seams. She misses their eyes but seems to have stolen Kooan's soul. Now he is filled with nought but sadness. Bad, Irina! Bad!

The Runway:

Team Brown: Andrea & Christopher: Anya Ayoung-Chee

I know their Lexus was brown, but did they have to use THIS much brown? She just looks messy, like a mud puddle. A shiny mud puddle. It's crazy because they have the hottest possible client and they made her look icky.

Team Red: Raul & Alicia: Mina Hermanovski

I was hoping they'd take the "red" inspiration and make something along the lines of The Night Circus (the book by Erin Morgenstern about the dramatic magical circus at night that only uses black and white in their colour scheme, with occasional touches of red. It's been optioned as a movie) but this just looks like they gave up. And the red hardly looks like an inspiration colour, or even an important accent. It's just sort of there.

Team White: Gunnar & Kooan: Irina Shabayeva

I don't think it looks like a wedding dress and it did come out quite lovely. But Irina was right about the shoddy construction, and she comes from the season of ALL shoddy construction, so that's a pretty big insult. If this dress won, people would be laughing at it when they saw it up close, with the weird puckering bum seams.

Team Champagne: Sonjia & Nathan: Valerie Mayen

I am sick that this gold dress wasn't in the top! Did the judges blink when this went by? Maybe they didn't notice it because they also don't remember Valerie Mayen.

Team Silver: Melissa & Dmitry: April Johnston
I didn't love it or hate it. It was like a space age garbage bag, in dress form. I don't even know if that was an insult or a compliment. The back was pretty though. All in all, it was a sold middle-of-the-road effort (IN SPACE!).

Team Black: Elena & Buffi: Laura Bennett

Oh my god. Seriously? What the hell was this? Someone with as much "face" as Laura Bennett (and by that I mean chin) should NOT wear a collar so high. Why have I never noticed this before? Because Laura Bennett doesn't normally dress like this! She was, however, having the most fun on the runway. Too much fun. It was weird. Calm down, mom!

Team Navy Blue: Ven & Fabio: Kenley Collins
It was lovely and well made and exactly what Kenley would wear, but I do agree that it looked too daytime for the Emmys. Maybe if the fabric were a little more special, more like Grace Kelley? Like Sonjia said, she could wear this to church and no one would think anything of it.

The Judging:
That annoying girl from that annoying show is the guest judge for the Emmy challenge. Which totally makes sense since she's never even been to the Emmys.

Somehow the judges overlook Irina's seam problem and place Kooan & Gunnar in the top, along with Ven & Fabio. Raul & Alicia and Christopher & Andrea are not so lucky, although it could have easily been Buffi & Elena in the bottom. Sadly, Sonjia & Nathan's fabulous gold dress is overlooked and lands them in the middle with Melissa & Dmitry (who probably deserved to be in the middle).

When asked who should win if their look is chosen, Kooan graciously says that Gunnar should win since he was responsible for so much of the construction. Fabio admits that is also true in his team, but that he would really like to win because he feels he deserves "to pat myself on the back." Apparently, it's a self-esteem contest. Ven disagrees and says he should win since he (obviously) did all the design and construction on their dress.

When asked the question of who should go home if their look loses, the four on the bottom get a little more flustered, as you would expect. Christopher can't contain himself any longer and keeps insisting (rightly so, it would seem) that Andrea spent the whole day doing very little work and that she basically said she didn't care if she goes home or not. He then weeps that he wants to be there "so badly." I wish I could watch the extended judging in Canada, because I'm guessing there are a lot more tears.

Raul and Alicia are less teary but Raul steadfastly insists that they couldn't possibly choose which of them should go home, since it was a "team effort." That is usually code for "it's my fault and I don't want you to know it." Eventually Alicia confirms that, yeah, that's kind of true.

The Results:
Ven WINS! I was surprised that his dress won, but I'm not surprised that Ven was chosen as the winner over Fabio (despite Fabio's need for back pats).
Raul is OUT. He pretends like he's fine and happy but he's pissed that Alicia wasn't kicked out too. At least I don't have to look at his stupid hair anymore. Hooray!

Next Week: Is this where all the drama FINALLY happens? It looks like Andrea has spirited herself away in the middle of the night like a, well, like a quitter. And maybe Kooan leaves too? Or is this another "this season on Project Runway" thing? I think the Andrea departure really is next week since it said "the next morning" in the promo. Can't wait!

Project Runway Season 10--Episode 2: WHAT THE HELL, PROJECT RUNWAY?

2012-07-27T14:04:00.002-03:00

Season 10-Episode 2-Candy Couture

We were promised an episode filled with drama and breakdowns! What the hell, Project Runway? I get that sometimes the promos are for the whole season, and not just the next episdode, but it really made it seem like all of the craziness was going to happen in this episode!! What happened to the female designer who sneaks off in the middle of the night? What happened to the male designer who goes crazy and can't go on? What happened to Michael Kors telling the designers that "fashion is not for sissies"? I'm still looking forward to seeing all of that drama, but I was hoping it was all going down THIS WEEK.

Okay, I just had to get that off my chest. Moving on...

Last Week:

Lantie is a hack. Ven is kind of brilliant. Kooan is Japanese and kooky and does not want you to forget that for a single second. Christopher won and Beatrice went home because she didn't know how to sew (even though her parents owned a fabric sewing workshop for her entire childhood). Oh, and Gunnar's this year's whiny bitch. Although, I must say, after re-watching the episode, I can almost see what might have made Gunnar so mad. It did kind of look like Christopher was going around asking EVERYONE how they were doing with their designs. Every single season there are designers who try to pull off this "How are you doing over here, buddy?" kind of thing, and they always think they're being super subtle about it (I'm just being helpful! I'm just being friendly! I'm just very personable!) but everybody knows they're just trying to check out the competition. As a viewer it doesn't bother me, but the other designers usually find it irritating. So obviously I still love Christopher and hate Gunnar, but maybe there's more to it than just "Gunnar's a whiny bitch" (which is probably also true). (On the other hand, this week Gunnar turns into the worst "I just want to check out everyone's work" busy body, so maybe Gunnar is just a jerk.)

Anyway, moving on to this week!

The Challenge:

It's the unconventional challenge and the designers have to make outfits using candy from Dylan's Candy Bar. They have a budget of $250, which is a lot for an unconventional challenge, but then the owner gives them a 50% discount, giving them $500 worth of buying power. Nice!

Dylan Lauren also warns everyone not to just eat all the candy. No one listens.

Did anyone else notice Elena's hood? I think she thought it made her look like a warrior, but it just looked like a sport model hijab (which totally exists, by the way).

Of course, as with any unconventional materials challenge, the group is divided between those who buy fabric and those who don't. (We all know which approach tends to impress the judges more.) Raul even buys a pair of candy inspired boots for his model to walk in, though Tim is dubious about whether he'll be allowed to use them. Andrea spends most of her time looking at T-shirts and sheets of candy dots.

The Workroom:

Gunnar is giving Christopher the evil eye, causing Christopher to quip that Gunnar is like his evil twin. So true!

The designers seem like they're doing well for the most part, but some of them seem like they still have ALL of their work ahead of them when Tim comes in. Dmitry wants to wait until his model comes in before he starts applying any candy. Kooan's critique is comprised almost entirely of him breathing theatrically at Tim. And Andrea is in serious trouble when Tim tells her that her sewn together sheets of candy dots are like "throwing the competition," which makes her cry. Nathan and Ven don't seem to be doing any work since every time the camera shows them, they're sitting around bitching about everyone else's work.

And everyone keeps eating all the candy!

I think Ven's model was on last season too. She looks excited to have such an awesome dress.

Elena "Ms. Dark Warrior" cries like a little kid when she burns her leg with hot glue. Cut to Christopher saying, "But why would she wear hoochie shorts to work??"

Everyone is making fun of Buffi's cotton candy bird's nest and Kooan's melted cotton candy dress, but it looks more like Lantie and Andrea are in real trouble since they used mostly fabric or fabric-like paper. And Sonjia nearly doesn't make it out of the workroom.

But finally it's time for the runway!

The Runway:

Okay, first can I just say, what was up with Heidi's outfit at the runway show? It was like she was wearing snakeskin pajamas! I bet Lantie just wanted to alter the shit out of that look.

Alicia
Who knew she could make a candy jumper? It's very Georgette of the Jungle meets The Flintstones.

Andrea
Twister in the front, gigantic skirt wedgie in the back

Buffi
I'm pretty sure she's the top contender for drag queen designer this season. Or possibly Toddlers and Tiaras designer (which Michael Kors mentions...boy that show is getting a lot of mentions already!)

Christopher
It's good, but the top is WAY too big for the model. Of course most things probably are.

Dmitry
Very cute, even if the top part isn't covered in candy. I love how it moves!

Elena
She's really committed to that boxy shape that makes all models look thick waisted. Or in this case, thick waisted and covered in spaghetti. She claimed she wanted to stick to her monochromatic "tough girl" look, but Melissa pulled that off perfectly while Elena did not. At all.

Fabio
It really looks like fabric! And it's gorgeous! But I guess it IS his strong point, because it's a little like making things out of leftover food, which he loves. He could have been in the top three, except I'm not sure what the skirt is made out of. It might be paper?

Gunnar
I love the checkerboard pattern but why did he even need the peplum? It's so weird and unnecessary, I just want to rip it right off. I'm surprised the judges didn't have a problem with it.

Kooan
It might have been good if it was in fabric, but it looks like the model was eaten by a candy monster..and then it threw her up in the back

Lantie
God, this girl is lazy. She claimed she didn't have enough time, but I guess I missed the part where Lantie only got 20 minutes to make her design.

Melissa
It really does look like leather. It's not an ideal fit, but for candy it's pretty fantastic.

Nathan
Geez, Tinker Bell got kind of fat...and slutty...well, sluttiER. It must be from her 90s rave scene days.

Raul
I guess he didn't get to use the candy boots after all. Just as well, they would have been horrible with this. The top of this outfit has so much potential, but it all falls apart with the tacky exposed midriff and clashing skirt. Pity.

Sonjia
So interesting! Like a futuristic candy-themed stewardess, but in a good way. I'm not crazy about the shape of the skirt though. It's like a lap bib.

Ven
Holy hell! That's astounding! How did he even do the signature rose thing with candy??

The Judging:

Guest judge: Dylan Lauren of Dylan's Candy Bar (who is also Ralph Lauren's daughter, apparently. Crazy!)

Somehow Andrea manages to escape being in the bottom three (yay! I like her!), but Dmitry looks pissed that he didn't make the top three.

Heidi tells Buffi that her model looks like a five-year-old going to a birthday party. Again, the judges tell Lantie that all she did was slightly alter things that were already made. Michael Kors even called her "just a decorator." Elena's dress is barely still in tact by the time she faces the judges. What I don't understand about Elena is that all her designs make her model look HUGE, yet the clothes she herself wears show off how skinny she is. Maybe she just hates her model.

The Results:
WINNER: Ven wins! Despite some debating among the judges, he seems like he was the only serious choice for the win. Ven agrees.

OUT: Lantie is out. It's no surprise, except that I really thought she would be the female designer who later sneaks off and goes home in the middle of the night. Now I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I was actually looking forward to hating Lantie's brattiness for a little longer.

Next Week:
Team Challenge! And it looks like their clients are Anya from Season 9, Kenley from Season 5 and Irina from Season 6 (Irina? Really?) Is this where we'll see the drama? I'm not sure. In the promo clip for next week, it shows the designers standing on the runway before the judges and all fourteen of them are there, so I don't think next week is the week people start quitting. Grrrr...

Project Runway Season 10 Episode 1: You Have Every Opportunity to Impress Us, Now Let's Watch You Screw It Up

2012-07-22T22:25:00.000-03:00

Episode 1: A Times Square Anniversary Party

So Project Runway has now been on the air long enough that some of the younger contestants on this new season can honestly say they've been watching it since the were kids (or at least young teens) and it may have been the reason some of them went into fashion design. More importantly, reality television has been a thing for long enough (Thank-you, Mark Burnett...or, Curse You, Mark Burnett, depending on your view of reality TV) that some of the younger contestants could have grown up dreaming of being a reality TV star as their main career aspiration. These types of contestants are usually easy to spot (ahem, Gunnar) because they are obsessed with being the "funny one" or the "kooky one" or--90% of the time--the "bitchy one" and are constantly trying to spew out sound bites. These people often have profiles on IMDb even if they're competing on a cooking show (look up the contestants of MasterChef US...there is ALWAYS a generous sprinkling of aspiring actors among the cast list). But even after all these years, I'm still a sucker for Project Runway. It was the first reality show I truly loved and I already love Season 10 as much as I loved Season 1.

The first episode is always exciting but it's hard to form solid opinions about the designers because there are SO MANY of them and we usually only have one garment to judge them on before someone gets sent home. In previous seasons, the first challenge has been one that tests the designers' ability to think on their feet, like unconventional materials challenges or ones in which they have to rework the clothes off their backs and make a new look on the spot. The problem with that approach is that the person who goes home first invariably argues that they didn't get a chance to show "what they can really do" because the challenge wasn't about their signature style. In other years, the first challenge has been ALL about the designers' signature style, sometimes even giving them tonnes of extra time by letting them create their first look at home before the first episode airs. The problem with that approach is that the judges invariably wonder if the winner of the first challenge as proven that they have what it takes to deal with the curve balls that PR is about to throw at them. This year, the designers had the best of both worlds. They got to present a look they completed at home PLUS shop at Mood for the materials they would need to create a companion piece on the spot. For some, this would mean they could show off their signature style AND their ability to roll with the PR punches. For others, it gave them twice the opportunity to disappoint.

But first, the workroom...

The Workroom

The big news is that Gunthar is both a diva and an idiot, Fabio gets all his food from the garbage, Dmitry and Elena hate everybody just a little bit, and Kooan is determined to be the kookiest person who ever kooked.

There's a lot of looks to keep track of, but it's pretty obvious some of the designers should really be worried. Lantie is trying to "ignore the pain inside" but maybe she shouldn't be. Her second look is so painful that she should be doing more to fix it. Gunnar spends all his time finding reasons to hate Christopher, which is weird but leads to a lot of funny reaction shots of Christopher. We learn that Dmitry used to be a ballroom dancer in Belarus and that Elena looks like a completely different person when she does her hair differently.

You know what? Let's just skip ahead to the runway.

The Runway

Alicia

Alicia's Original Look:
If you're going to do a romper, it better be a friggin' perfect romper because they're a rather childish type of clothing that can look stupid FAST. But, what can I say? Hers is perfect. I wouldn't ever wear one, but if I had a friend who insisted she wanted a romper I would tell her she should get one from Alicia.

Alicia's Companion Look:
It's not my personal style, but it looks like it turned out exactly how she meant it to (it looks intentional, which is a great thing) and it really compliments her other piece. I feel like I have a good idea about her as a designer from these two pieces (which was the challenge!)

Andrea

Andrea's Original Look:
It's okay. It's like an ad for that perfume from the early 90's, Exclamation. Anyone remember that?

Andrea's Companion Look:
It's cute, but I demand to see this model sit in it without showing off her knickers!

It's pretty cute from the back, but I'm worried that all of Andrea's looks will somehow have this lampshade shape.

Beatrice

Beatrice's Original Look:
She made this at home. At her leisure. Jesus, it looks like she made it at f*cking gunpoint.

Beatrice's Companion Look:
Did you ever get your period early and have to quickly wrap a sweater around your waist to hide an embarrassing stain? Beatrice loves that look, apparently.

Buffi

Buffi's Companion Look:
Oh dear god. Is there any contestant, ever, who couldn't have made this? It's a very low bar of skill and design ideas that Buffi is setting with this piece. I bet you could make this. By accident.

Buffi's Original Look:
I call bullshit on the pants. I don't think that a designer who can't think of anything better to make than that top (it's a piece of fabric, awkwardly draped) could also make those pants. Yes, they're tacky and ridiculous, but they also fit. I think Buffi had help getting them to fit like that.

Christopher

Christopher's Companion Look:
He was worried about his zipper. I was worried about his model. Quick! Someone get this girl off the meth! Not only is there such a thing as too skinny, there is also such a thing as too sunken eyed, too awkward, too flat chested and too...well, methy.

Christopher's Original Look:
I would have loved it as much as the judges did if it weren't for the cut around the bodice. The shape of the top makes the already flat chested model look like she has the body of a skinny little boy. I think a fuller bodice (one that didn't cut away so much at the sides) would have been more flattering for this look. Also, this girl looks like an unsexy vampire. What the hell did sweel lil Christopher do to deserve such awful models??

Dmitry

Dmitry's Original Look:
You know people use the term "lol" a lot lately, and they hardly ever mean that they're actually laughing out loud. But I did when I saw this dress. Is he for real? I had that exact dress for a Barbie I got in 1982. An off-brand "Barby" from the Met discount bin that said "Dinasty Barby" I think.

Dmitry's Companion Look:
Could his model look any more pissed off to be wearing this? I don't know what her problem is. Did she even SEE what his other girl had to wear?

Elena
Elena's Companion Look:
She can obviously construct quite a lot, even while under pressure. I do worry that she thought the cream was "too out there a colour"

Elena's Original Look:
She claimed the judges had never seen anything like this before. No, I'm pretty sure the judges have seen Christian Siriano before.

Eek! Except Christian Siriano never EVER made his models look like line backers. I guess it's good if you're going for that "just gained 80 lbs in my ass and haven't figured out how to walk right" look.

Fabio

Fabio's Companion Look:
Apparently Fabio skipped ahead to the "make things out of garbage" challenge and make this look out of used coffee filters and old toner cartridges. Well, he does like to go dumpster diving. I guess this look is an homage to freevanism.

Fabio's Original Look:
Yeah, I get it. He plays with shapes and makes them somewhat flowy, somewhat awkward, a little hippie, a little cool. Yup, got it. But it's not that interesting. Maybe next week?

Gunnar

Gunnar's Companion Look:
Why was Gunnar so excited to see this walk down the runway? Does he know where he is? It's a design competition! One where the judges will notice things like simple designs that they've seen a million times, executed poorly with bunching and poor fit. He should NOT be so excited by this dress.

Gunnar's Original Look:
A flattering picture of this look was unavailable. It looked like THIS in every shot. I don't get it.

Kooan

Kooan's Original Look:
I like it, but did he really make it for the challenge? It looks like something he just brought out of his collection, maybe from his audition? Can he make clothes on the spot?

Kooan's Companion Look:
Uh, he can make clothes on the spot, but should he? It doesn't seem to have any of the whimsy of his other look, other than the juvenile shape. I don't get it. Maybe if he did more sound effects?

Lantie

Lantie's Original Look:
She didn't even really make this. She "reworked it" from a vintage dress. She was inordinately proud of this look until Patricia Field said she was basically a step up from a stylist, not a designer.

It's slightly better without the jacket thing, but it still looks like someone is playing a dead bride for Halloween.

Lantie's Companion Piece:
It reminds me of the "You Can Totally Wear That Again" challenge from Season 8 with Michael Drummond's black tulle over hot pink monstrosity (see below)

Melissa

Melissa's Companion Look:
Every year the judges say that if you're going to do all black, or if you're going to simple, or if you're going to do asymmetry, it better be perfect. This is what they meant. This is the RIGHT way to use all of those elements and still make a statement. I'm impressed already.

Melissa's Original Look:
Holy cow! Sammy Brady from Days of Our Lives would have KILLED for this look! It's so intense and mysterious. I'm a little bit in love. Melissa reminds me a little of April from Season 8, but I think she's WAY ahead of where April was in her abilities. One to watch, for sure.

Nathan
Nathan's Companion Look:
I CAN'T be the only one thinking that the slinky green dress and bright blue shoes make the model look like Marge Simpson standing on her head. I just want to put a pearl ankle bracelet on her to complete the look. But if she took the stupid shoes off I would actually love this look.

From the back I'm not so sure. The drape on the bum makes her look saggy and weird. I doubt many women would love how it made their bums look.

Nathan's Original Look:
It's pretty and I think the colour makes sense with the other piece. It's a different colour (obviously) but I think the two colours together could tell the same story. The only thing I'm wondering though is if he meant it to be a formal dress. Everything from the waist up reads more casual to me, yet the volume and length of the skirt, plus the long slit, makes it seem like an evening gown. Is Nathan the one who wants all of his clothes to be "special occasion clothes"? While I'm sure there's a market for that, designers who specialize in that seem like they're playing fantasy dressup with life sized Barbie dolls rather than advancing fashion trends for real customers. We'll see.

Raul

Raul's Original Look:
When this look first came out I was distracted by the model's horribly cut bangs, obviously meant to mimic Raul's own stupid hair, and I didn't notice how competent this suit was. I won't say great, but definitely not horrible. And I like the lace blouse with it (I hope he doesn't use lace every challenge though).

Raul's Companion Look:
I could do without the precious brooch and clunky shoes, but this dress isn't a total write off. It's not as good as the original look though.

Sonjia

Sonjia's Original Look:
Ah, I don't know. Too much of this look seems accidental. The built in cover up on the pants look like the model is trying to hide an accident (or a problem area) rather than making a fashion statement. The undone jacket looks like maybe it CAN'T be done up and not including a shirt under the jacket looks more like she ran out of time, rather than she was being edgy or sexy (or whatever). Overall, it's just a bunch of bad styling thrown at a poor model who is just trying to do her job. Also, are those stirrup pants?? Please say it isn't so.

Sonjia's Companion Look:
The only thing this look has in common with the other look is the bad styling. Lack of taste should NOT be your signature look. But Sonjia seemed to love it, which can't be a good sign.

Ven

Ven's Original Look:
No doubt he's got talent. The rose reminds me of the cover of the novel The Shoemaker's Wife (see below). I think he's this season's Rami.

Ven's Companion Look:
It's a smart way to interpret "companion piece." It reminds me of the first one, but it uses techniques that are similar but different. They look like they could be two pieces in the same line.

Did some of these looks seem familiar? Well, after so many seasons, we're bound to get repeats...

Where have we seen it before?

Michael D's nearly losing look from Season 8, Episode 6 (also, Lantie's nearly losing look, but hers was in a drabber colour)

Christian Siriano (Season 4) did the "warrior in black" look like nobody's business (also, Elena, who does it...but not as flatteringly)

The cover of The Shoemaker's Wife, by Adriana Trigiani, uses a photo from Harper's Bazaar from 1949. I love this look and I think Ven could reproduce it if asked (check out those roses!)

Exclamation Perfume ad from the early 90s (also, Andrea)

But what did the judges think? Well...

The Judging

The guest judges were Lauren Graham and Patricia Fields. Is it me or is Lauren Graham looking different lately?

Maybe a little weight gain and face work? Oh well, Lauren Graham has looked exactly the same for nearly twenty years. She's certainly entitled to look a little different...but...it still bugged me because I couldn't place what exactly was different about her look. Maybe weird lighting and a bad relationship with the PR make up people or something? Okay, I need to let this go. Lauren Graham is still very lovely and looks younger than I do, even though I think she's quite a bit older.

Moving on...

Which looks did they love?

Christopher's looks: The judges agreed that the black dress was not special enough for the win, but were blown away by the workmanship of the long dress.

Ven's looks: They loved it but as soon as Heidi said the bustier really looked "like a rose" I knew he wouldn't win. Since the divorce, she may not be so keen on things that are "like a rose."

Melissa's looks: As Lauren Graham put it, they give off a vibe of "coolness" and I agree.

Which looks did they hate?

Beatrice's looks: Obviously she was in trouble as soon as the judges started talking...

Lauren Graham: Well, I suppose there are some designers who just make T-shirts...

Heidi: But they're not going to win Project Runway if they just make T-shirts.

Lauren: Yeah...
Michael Kors: So she's a Snuggy designer?

Heidi: I love my Snuggy!

Lantie's looks: Heidi asked her if she always does those stupid bib details in the front and she INSISTED she doesn't. She's such a LIAR! Look at her audition! The only look that didn't have a bib detail had a cut out detail (in the shape of a bib) on the chest. So yeah, it's a thing she does in ALL her clothes.

Kooan's looks: It seems like the judges were unsure about HIM more than his looks. Did you catch the nervous shrug Heidi gave the judges when he made his nonsensical noises and shuffled off the stage?

The Results:

CHRISTOPHER WINS!! I was a little surprised but good for him. Gunnar is PISSED.

BEATRICE IS OUT. It could have gone either way between her or Lantie, but I was glad Lantie got to stay. She acts like a spoiled child (even though she's a middle aged woman!) so I think it will be fun to watch her fail. That sounds so mean, but...I think it WILL be fun! She still talks about all the stuff her Daddy buys her, like she's a teenaged girl who's never been told no. I think it'll be great to watch how fast she crumbles when she learns that she's not that great even if her Daddy tells her she's the prettiest, smartest, most talented little girl in the world (who's nearly 50).

But the big news is....

NEXT WEEK:

Apparently TWO contestants go home next week, not including elimination. A female contestant just leaves in the middle of the night and goes home. The producers even go to her apartment but her doorman says she's not taking any guests. The show has confirmed that it's someone who was "paranoid" after being in the bottom during the previous challenge. The promo for next week's show has clips of Andrea crying and Elena yelling, but I'm pretty sure it's Lantie who goes home. In the middle of the night. During what is apparently a team challenge. Because she's a spoiled little girl...who may have been experiencing hot flashes.

Also, a male contestant with a history of mental illness has some sort of breakdown and is deemed not "fit to continue" after the show brings in a psychologist (!!!) to assess him. What the hell?!? They've had some nutso contestants before, including drug addicts and people with all manner of physical and emotional disorders, but it's usually just Tim or Heidi who have to talk them off the ledge. How serious is this breakdown? Is it violent? And who is it? I really don't know. Gunnar maybe? Although with him it would probably be a fake breakdown for attention, and to hide the fact that he sucks.

Whoever it is, Heidi even said in an interview that the contestants who quit probably weren't very talented anyway and were about to be exposed as being outmatched by the much more talented contestants. God, I love that German supermodel task master!

For those remaining, the challenge is apparently the unconventional materials challenge and will have the designers making outfits from candy from Dylan's Candy Bar. Always fun!

SEASON 10! HOLY HELL! SEASON TEN!

2012-07-21T22:22:00.002-03:00

Project Runway is back!! Those are the sweetest words in the reality TV vernacular! Okay, before I say anything about the new season, I just have to get one thing off my chest. And it's about chests. Specifically, Heidi Klum's chest in the PR Season 10 promo pic above. So, she looks gorgeous as always. I'm not sure why she's in her underwear but..LOOK AT HER! No one's complaining, least of all me. I even like the little feathered sweep of her hair that makes her look like a sexier version of Lindsay Wagner from The Bionic Woman (scroll down for a pic if you're too young to get that reference). But my one complaint is this. Does anyone else think it looks like she's cutting off her own nipple with those scissors?!?

Okay, let's move on. (BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL, HEIDI!!)

If you watched this season's Road to the Runway and first episode, you've been bombarded with information and designs from the sixteen contestants of Season 10. It's always hard to sift through them all at the beginning of the season, so before we look at the first episode (which will be the next post), let's take a look at the contestants.

In alphabetical order...

ALICIA
Age: 27
Claims being a lesbian designer (Lesbian? You don't say!) sets her apart because she's influenced by menswear. Being "influenced by menswear" is about as unique in a design competition as "being influenced by Asian cuisine" is in a cooking competition. Next she'll tell us that her next collection will be "military inspired." Yawn.
Red Flag: No matter how tragically outside of the mainstream a lesbian tomboy designer claims to be, the tomboy look, much like white girls with dreads, is hardly unique.

ANDREA
Age: 58
The "grandma" of the bunch, she's a seasoned designer and art professor who's proof that fashion design is NOT a recession proof industry. She seems nice enough, but this picture is making me cringe so much I have cramps now. I have a feeling I may like everything she says and hate everything she does.
Best Line: Who keeps calling me "girl"? I love it!
Red Flag: Uh, look at that picture. Good god. Her shapes and proportions don't make sense to me unless she's literally designing for a cartoon.

BEATRICE
Age: 29
Nick Verreos warned she may be a "one trick knit queen" and he probably has a point. She claims to do "mostly knits" but she failed to mention that she also does "mostly grey, sad, poorly tailored knits that will make you sad." Although if she had said that, I might not have been so disappointed by her looks.
Red Flag: If you've seen the first episode, you already know.

BUFFI
Age: 31
Half Indian, half Australian, with a British passport (aww now I want a British passport) and a home in Dubai, Buffi is tacky on a global scale. She takes on tackiness as a challenge! But I like her. Couldn't you just see yourself getting fabulously drunk with her? She's definitely the one I'd want to hang out with at the party (but I might not let her pick my outfit).
Best Line: I created a diet called fegan. It's fake vegan so you can eat whatever you want. How good is that diet?
Red Flag: Those spangly shorts that she claims are her uniform. I know that she understands that they're tacky but I don't think she understands that they're also ugly. It seems immature to me, not just because the shorts themselves are juvenile, but because her attachment to her "signature look" smacks of something she will completely regret in a few years. She's holding on to a tacky, spangly crutch!

CHRISTOPHER
Age: 24
Has severe asthma, had a heart attack in high school (Jesus!) and looks exactly like if Michael Costello finally lost the weight and stopped apologizing all the time. LOVE LOVE LOVE his bizarre feud with Gunnar, mostly because of Christopher's facial expressions to the camera when Gunnar is being a bitchy baby at him.
Best Line: (about Gunnar) He should be on Toddlers and Tiara, not Project Runway. Wrong show.
Red Flag: On his inspiration wall in his audition tape he has a picture of an ad for Justin Beiber's fragrance Someday. Oh god, the new designers are young.

DMITRY
Age: 33
Eastern European love child between Marilyn Manson and Spencer Rice (from Kenny vs Spenny, scroll down for a pic), but with uglier clothes. In Road to the Runway the judges greenlighted him in part because of the clothes he was wearing, so I guess ugly "Severus Snape with a hangover" clothes are in.
Best Line: (about Melissa) She looks like a groupie. Is that the right word? All she needs is a guitar.
Red Flag: Seems to have an unnatural fondness for ugly sparkly ballgowns from the 80s, done badly. Since Dynasty is off the air (and even when it was on the air, had better tailoring) he may be in trouble.

ELENA
Age: 28
Another dark and mysterious Eastern European, her portfolio is filled with black clothes inspired by warriors and video games. Her look book is like a music video shoot--cool and edgy and high fashion. The problem is that they don't look nearly as good on the runway. In fact, her models look kind of fat and awkward. Hopefully this isn't a trend because that could be a problem indeed.
Best Line: (when showing Tim a black and cream dress) Is this colour, like, too over the top?
Red Flag: She might be crazy and could be a fighter. (Oooh I hope so!!)

FABIO
Age: 29
If I knew him in real life, I feel like all my male friends would beg me to introduce them to him...at first. He's kind of groovy, he's Brazilian, he hugs, and he's got a killer beard. Then they would get tired of that ultra hippie hipster bullshit. ("I have empty frames on my walls because then it shows I'm not afraid of empty space."). It's not that my friends aren't also hippie hipsters (I know people whose job description is "professional rug hooker." No bullshit.) BUT....Fabio is a "freegan" which means he doesn't go grocery shopping except from dumpsters. Motherfucking dumpsters. I'm breaking up with him right now.
Red Flag: Besides the dumpster diving?! Well, how about the fact that in his bio he brags about the skirt he made from 15 neckties when he was a student. Oh god, a necktie skirt? Do you know ANY fashion student who DIDN'T make a necktie skirt?! I thought it was cool the FIRST time I saw one, made by a sixteen-year-old aspiring designer in my high school. But unless you're currently a sixteen-year-old, you should never admit that you've made a necktie skirt.

GUNNAR
Age: 22
Was immediately kicked off of PR Season 9 and is determined to be on TV for longer this time. Also, talks like a Kardashian for no apparent reason.
Best Line: I'm pretty quirky, like I have a thousand different things going on in my head all the time. Like right now I'm thinking about I want another Starbucks mocha. I mean, that's just kinda like in the space somewhere in my head. (If I didn't know better I would think this was said--or written--as a satire of artsy reality show contestants. It sounds like it could be in a Christopher Guest movie about aspiring Project Runway contestants it's so ridiculous.)
Red Flag: What ISN'T a red flag with Gunnar? He's like the dumbest, bitchiest, most juvenile gay friend you ever had, the one you only put up with because he had just come out a few years ago and he was still really young and maybe he'd grow out of his bitchiness and he was always fun to go clubbing with. But I'm not going clubbing with Gunnar. I'm watching him trying to be a reality TV star while acting like a bitchy child. It's not cute.

KOOAN
Age: 30
He's kooky. He's all about Japanese street culture. He's a harajuku boy. He's kooky. He (somehow) has a giant afro that he claims is his real hair. Did I mention kooky? Kooan wants you to know how kooky he is. EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. Is it an affectation or is he really like that? I don't know. The judges are already nervous. He reminds me of the Harajuku Girl characters on Portlandia (see below).
Best Line: various nonsensical noises
Red Flag: various nonsensical noises

LANTIE
Age: 48
Acts like she's a twenty-year-old sorority sister, babbling on about being a "pretty girl" who only hangs out with other "pretty girls" and complaining about her daddy cutting her off for going to design school. Oh, what an adorably spoiled child she is! She's incorrigible! Except that she's probably menopausal. Seriously, Lantie, who the fuck are you kidding? Cut the girlish shtick. You're old enough to have hot flashes. I'm not trying to be ageist. I'm not hating on her because she's middle aged (and she is, make no mistake). I'm hating on her because she's acting like a little girl, and clearly on purpose.
Red Flag: She told Heidi that all her looks don't have that stupid bib detail in the front, but there is little evidence of that. All of the clothes she has worn or made so far, as well as all of the clothes in her audition and her portfolio (except the coats) have that bib detail in the front. So yeah, it's a thing. It's a stupid thing she does.
Bonus Red Flag: Her "made at home" look wasn't even really made at home, since she just restyled a vintage dress. Patricia Field called her a step above a stylist and a step below a designer. Ouch.

MELISSA
Age: 31
She's a cross between April from Season 8 (and All Stars) and Amanda Zimm from Ready or Not (see below). She's blonde and pretty and perky and then she throws black paint over that whole image. I kinda like her. I hope she has the goods to back it up.
Best Line: I took one political science class and I looked around and I was like, 'These are not my people.'
Red Flag: Well, she is really married to that one colour palette--I mean, colour. Can she make anything that isn't black?

NATHAN
Age: 33

I remember vaguely liking him and sort of liking his designs, but I can't for the life of me remember a single thing about him. Pass.

RAUL
Age: 27
It sounded like he pronounces his name "Rule" instead of "Rah-ule" so I'll have to listen for that. I'm not terribly impressed by him. He seems like a poseur. Like he's the guy with the million affectations. He's the guy with the black jeggings, the guy with the hats, the guy with the stupid pointy bangs in the front, the guy who "doesn't care about trends" but follows all of them...or at least all of the ones from three years ago.
Red Flag: Thinks Ven's amazing flower corset suit is "old school and bad" and yet DOESN'T think that Dmitry's drugstore Dynasty costume is. I would be surprised if he has any good taste at all.

SONJIA
Age: 27
Her name is pronounced "SON-GEE" not "SON-YAA" but that might be the most interesting thing about her. So far she's forgettable and her clothes aren't helping to make her memorable. According to the PR website, she's one of the more popular designers so far, but I can't see why. I just don't see it.
Red Flag: Ruffled blue denim shirt with matching blue hair. Oh sweet Jesus, I'm not going to make it through this horror.

VEN
Age: 28
It's nice to see the guy from Stargate SG-1 has found his true calling as a fashion designer. Ven is South American and (apparently) 28 (really? not 48? okay...). Already showing off his superb tailoring skills, he could be this season's Rami.
Red Flag: Maybe none. He's pretty good so far. He might have trouble with the variety of challenges coming up, but I think he'll do pretty well.

I think so far my top picks are Ven and Christopher, with an eye on Andrea, Kooan, Nathan, Fabio and Melissa. How about you? Any favourites yet?

Lindsay Wagner as The Bionic Woman (also, Heidi)

Spencer Rice from Kenny vs Spenny (also, Dmitry)

Harajuku Girls from Portlandia (also, Kooan)

Dumpster Diving for a Dinner Party from Portlandia (also, Fabio)

Laura Bertram as Amanda Zimm from Ready or Not (also, Melissa)

Christopher Judge from Stargate SG-1 (also, Ven)

Next post: EPISODE ONE RECAP!!!

Project Runway All-Stars Episode 12: Finale Part 2

2012-03-28T16:14:00.000-03:00

So PRAS is over and the final runway came down to the last three boys standing: Austin, Mondo and Michael C. But in a surprise twist, Gretchen from Season 8 swooped in and somehow managed to win the whole show, even though no one likes her and she wasn't even competing! How weird is that??

No, she didn't. But if she had, I could not have possibly have been more outraged about it than I already was when she did that in her own season. Gretchen beat Mondo? Seriously? How did that even HAPPEN?

But thankfully Mondo has finally been vindicated and everyone agrees that he is the prettiest boy in the room and everyone loves him. Hooray!

I did feel a *little* bad for Austin since he did such a great job but honestly, he did pretty well considering that he came from a season in which people barely made sleeves throughout the competition because they didn't know how! Mondo and Michael represented a season in which the competition was MUCH stiffer.

Okay, speaking of stiffer, are Mondo and Michael a couple? I'd been avoiding thinking about it because it's just too much gushy crying to contemplate (Can you picture those two watching a long distance calling plan commercial together? They'd be inconsolable!) but in the final episode they did seem like more than just co-dependent friends. And did Mondo say to Michael something like "wait to we tell Mom"? I'm confused. Isn't Mondo's mom dead and Michael's mom disowned him? Now in my head I'm picturing them as a couple and Michael's mom has reconciled with him because now she has Mondo, the son she always wanted.

But in any case, it's pretty obvious that the right guy won. And good for Michael for hanging on as long as he did. As for Austin, maybe he'll do another season of On the Road with Austin & Santino (fingers crossed!!).

Fashion Star--Season 1, Episode 2--Who's Your Customer?

2012-03-21T13:22:00.002-03:00

It's Project Runway--without the project, and with WAY more runway. It's just all runway.

It's Week Two of Fashion Star and I continue to not quite "get" this show. I thought half of them went home last week, which was confusing because at that rate the whole season could last a month. But now they're all back this week, so that's even more confusing. What exactly is the end goal here? I'm so confused.

It's like they all decided that the "runway" was the best part of Project Runway, so they REALLY focused on that and kept everything else to a minimum. The runway show itself is at least 75% of the show. And the stage has so many bells and whistles (and giant TV screens) that it reminds me of The Running Man. But everything else--behind the scenes, interpersonal drama, judges/mentors input, designer back stories, even just explaining the concept of the show--all of it is condensed into two minute montages. Is that enough? Obviously not for me because I have no idea what's going on.

Okay, so maybe I'm just not paying attention. Then again, maybe the reason I'm not paying attention is because this show isn't that great. I'll keep watching, but I can't promise to care.

One thing I do know for sure is that I'm not the only person who thinks Oscar Fierro might sleep in a baby crib, just for funsies. Jessica Simpson revealed having a dream in which she gave birth to him and changed his diapers. What was Oscar's reaction? Was he repulsed or excited? I couldn't tell.

So to recap: Some of the designers got orders. Some did not. What does that mean for next week? Uh...nothing? I'm not sure. Apparently Oscar is going home. Hmm, that's a shame.

Project Runway All-Stars Episode 11: Finale Part 1

2012-03-17T20:21:00.002-03:00

In Which We Learn that Joanna Coles Doesn't Do Home Visits for NUTHIN'

So it's down to the final three and we're all waiting to see the "All Star" collections. Unfortunately, Angela has a little news for the designers. There will be no taking a few months to design a collection, there will be no home visits a la Tim Gunn, there will be no waiting until Fashion Week to find out who wins. No, they all have just four days--count 'em, FOUR--to design and present a mini collection of five looks. And they can visit with Joanna at her workspace, aka the Marie Claire offices.

From the designers lack of fake surprise, I suspect they already knew most of this. Maybe I was supposed to have known it all along too, but just wasn't paying attention. I was probably distracted by Angela's lisp. Either way, these boys had better get a move on.

Above: Mondo looking serious. Very, very serious. My partner Mike saw this picture and he said, "It's like the worst heist movie." To which I replied, "Or the BEST heist movie!" I would go see that movie in a heartbeat.

The Three Gayskateers (no?) get packed up and head over to the high rise in the sky known as Joanna Coles office. After being made to wait (though if you saw the shoes she was wearing it may not have been intentional, she might have just needed the extra twenty minutes to make it down the hall) Austin, Mondo and Michael are allowed to ask a few questions (this time NOT bra-related).

Above: Notice anything about the Marie Claire cover in JOANNA "WHERE'S THE BRA?"COLES' office? Yeah, that's right. The model--presumably dressed by Joanna Coles--IS NOT WEARING A BRA. Of course she isn't. Women in high fashion photo shoots don't often wear bras. Or if they do, they wear complicated "versions" of bras that involve sticky tape and creative straps. Sure, we all prefer to wear bras and for some of us they're a must, but Joanna Coles has GOT to get over this. It can't be the ONLY question she asks designers! It's like critiquing a shoe designer by ONLY asking, "Can she run in them?"

Now it's time to sketch, shop and begin work.

Michael is inspired by the greenness of nature and his own desire to make sure everybody likes him. I think Michael has some serious Mommy issues. Whenever he's around a strong female he just obsesses over how to make sure she likes him. He spends most of the episode debating whether his collection will make Angela, Joanna, Georgina, his models and his Surrogate Fashion Mommy Diane von Furstenberg happy.

Above: Michael, seen here with his imaginary friend, Every Woman He's Ever Met Who Will Validate Him and Tell Him He's a Good, Good Boy

Austin just wants to be a pretty, pretty lady. There's just never enough tuille and hair spray for Austin Scarlett and I'm just fine with that.

Above: One for the model, one for me, one for the model, one for me...

Mondo, on the other hand, is having none of it. He's gone into a full-on Mondo Snit complete with tears, self-doubt, anger that people have such high expectations of him in the first place, and finally a flat out refusal to even do any work because he doesn't want to bother to "waste his time." In other words, an exaggerated version of how he behaves in every challenge. Eventually he'll find inspiration in his own turmoil (like he always does) and design a collection around the theme of "craziness" that will be brilliant but will look exactly like everything else he's designed in the past, so why did he need to freak out in the first place? Mondo is all of the things people associate with the "tempermental artist" personality. He's probably the most interesting and talented of the three but he's got a process and he rarely varies it (the process being, "freakout, breakdown, regroup, work, win"). Meanwhile, he finds time to make fun of Michael for being too emotional and Austin for being too queeny. Riiiiiiiight.

Above: Georgina Chapman explains the key to freaking out is...not.

All three of the designers, even Mondo, do feel a little better after a brief visit from Georgina Chapman. She explains how she used to be prone to torturous self-doubt and freakouts, to the point that she was afraid that if she didn't have a meltdown she wouldn't be as creative. But she also learned to control herself by, well, not freaking out. It's a good thing they got this advice from her. I don't think Isaac Mizrahi could have even gotten the words out without erupting in a hissy fit. That man is never more than a few breaths away from a freakout.

Above: Isaac, looking as composed as he can manage.

As anyone who has ever watched Project Runway (or been a contestant) knows, you can't have a final challenge without two things: "unexpected" helpers in the form of past contestants and some sort of twist (that almost always involves adding another piece at the last minute). So when the past "all-stars" came in, no one was surprised.

Above: What in the hell is Sweet P wearing?!?

What was surprising was that no one picked Rami to be their assistant! Mondo had first pick and he chose Mila. Okay, not a terrible choice since she has great construction skills and does a lot of colour blocking, which means she's good at adding fabrics together without making them bunchy or having the seams look ugly, definitely a plus for Mondo's designs. Plus, she's not to gossipy or emotional so you don't have to babysit her while you're trying to work. Solid choice.

Above: Mila, willing Mondo not to make her touch colourful fabric. If there's neon she'll scream.

Then Mondo lets Austin choose next. Pick Rami! Nope, he picks ANTHONY! Why? Austin starts telling him about historical dress and Hasidic menswear and poor Anthony is nodding like an idiot. All Anthony wants is a little more airtime and here he is, being expected to know stuff? It's just too much for poor Anthony.

Above: Austin and his baffling choice of assistants, Anthony.

Finally Michael gets his pick. Yay! Rami is still available! He's great at draping and is one of the best talents of the bunch. Yet Michael picks...April. WHAT? I know they're pals, but...uh...WHAT? Don't you want someone who's fast and good and .... sigh. Nope, he just wants to have lunch with his pal. I give up.

Above: Even April doesn't understand why she's been picked. She had theatre tickets that night and everything.

The rest of the episode just showed some of the work that went in to the designs, but didn't reveal too much about the clothes themselves. We won't get to see those until next week when we see the final runway. But here are a few behind-the-scenes pictures and a couple of sneak peaks:

Above: Austin's work in progress

Above: Michael working on something for his "safari adventure" collection.

Above: I'm hoping this looks better when it's done. By definition it would have to.

Above: Mondo moping that Austin always gets what he wants (probably because he says what he wants while Mondo mopes and says nothing)

Above: Why don't *I* have a table with a sparkly silver shoe centrepiece??

A Sneak Peak:

Austin Scarlett (I know he loves the Little Bo Peep hair, but if you took that away it's a dress I could see a lot of women wearing)

Michael Costello (do you think he just looked at a picture of Diane von Fursentberg when he styled his model?)

Mondo Guerra (I like the giant sperm on her skirt!)

We'll have to wait until next week to see the runway show and find out who will win. Predictions? For me, I think that Mondo is the only one of the three who was really "robbed" in his season, so I'd like to see him win. I guess we'll find out next week!

UPDATE: A reader asked what shoes Joanna Coles was wearing in her office when the designers went to see her. I believe they are United Nude's Black Frame Triangle Heels from 2010 (only $498, or half my rent!):

I saw this on FashionBombDaily.com http://fashionbombdaily.com/2010/05/17/shoe-lust-united-nudes-black-frame-triangle-heel/

(If you're watching the episode online, it's at the 5:48 mark when you see Joanna walking down the hall.)

Thanks Peggy!

Fashion Star--Season 1, Episode 1--Pilot

2012-03-14T12:07:00.077-03:00

Fashion Star: Is it worth it?

So I watched the series premiere of Fashion Star and I'm not sure what to think. It has some cool ideas, like having buyers from major retailers onstage to give instant feedback in the form of monetary offers to the designers. On the other hand, it has a lot of flash. A lot. Maybe too much.

As I was watching it I described it as "going to a planetarium during a light show." It still has some cool stuff, being a planetarium and all, but it's hard to see the constellations with all the smoke and lasers and marijuana smell. At this point my partner Mike laughed at me for saying "it's still cool, like a planetarium" because I'm that kind of nerd.

Okay, I've never really been to a planetarium, but I am kind of a nerd about fashion-based reality shows. Project Runway is obviously the benchmark and the rest are just various kinds of knock-offs. The question is, will this one be worth the trouble? Well, it's on CTV.ca so I won't have trouble finding episodes, so let's give it a go.

The main premise of the show seems to be as follows:

Host Elle McPherson gets designers to present their designs in a flashy runway show in front of the judges (Jessica Simpson, Nicole Ritchie and that other guy) and buyers from Macy's, Saks Fifth Avenue and H&M. If the buyers like the looks, they make an offer. The highest bid will then carry the designs in their store, which will be available the next day. If no one makes an offer then the designer is up for elimination. Later, the judges have to decide who, of the losing designers, stays and who goes home.

In the first episode, it seemed like a whole bunch of designers went home and only one was saved (we'll talk about him in a minute) so I'm not sure what's going to happen next week. At this rate, the series could be over in three episodes.

Ultimately the winner is supposed to win a contract worth $6 million that includes being carried in all three stores, a prize that apparently none of the judges even have. Gee, I wonder why that could be? Could it be because their judges (or "mentors") are really just models or pop starlets (or whatever the hell Nicole Ritchie is) who have vanity lines and aren't real designers?

Fashion Star is to Project Runway what American Idol is to The Voice. It's flashier, showier, more likely to have actual fireworks at any given moment, and has "mentors" who everyone has heard of but whose credentials are iffy at best. Want to know how to really make it in the music industry? Why not ask Cee-Lo? He did have that one novelty song that was a medium-to-big hit, that one time. Want to know how to be a real fashion designer? Clearly you should ask Nicole Ritchie. Why wouldn't you?

But none of that matters because the real star of Fashion Star is Oscar Fierra. The pint-sized designer seems to made up entirely of flamboyance and the ability to always find his light. He may not be able to design very well, but who cares? He "reality shows" extremely well. That's right, if "reality show" were a verb, Oscar would be reality showing at an advanced level.

But there is one thing about Oscar that intrigues me (confuses me...traumatizes me...) more than anything else. If you didn't notice this in the first viewing of this show, you must go back and rewatch it. Skip to the part where they do Oscar's home visit. Did you see it? No, it's not the wall of colourful hats. Not the room of doll-sized ball gowns that he seems to making just for himself. Nope, not the miniature pony he rides around town so he can feel like a giant. No, it's the crib. That's right. The crib.

For some reason, Oscar has a baby crib in his room next to the bed. Now I know it's a crib because it's almost identical to my daughter's crib. And I also know that Oscar doesn't have kids in his house. He does have dogs. Do the dogs sleep in the crib? Maybe. Or maybe...

That's right. I'm suggesting that it's possible that Fashion Star's Oscar Fierro has some strange fetish and sometimes sleeps in a crib. Do I know this for a fact? No, of course not. But I have so many questions...

Project Runway All-Stars Episode 10: Let's Get Down to Business

2012-03-09T11:17:00.000-04:00

It's down to the final four and the designers are tasked with creating a commercial look that can be manufactured (locally) on a budget. It was interesting to see how a coat that retails for $500 only has about $65 in the budget for fabric. Wow, those manufacturing costs and markups really add up!

Despite a few minor snipes back and forth between Kenley and Mondo, the designers seem to be moving along smoothly. Of course, their workroom visits are coming up so they'll all have to explain to Joanna Coles exactly what kind of bra you can wear with each of their looks. It's sometimes literally her only question.

Kenley Collins
I've never disliked Kenley's designs, and I don't dislike this either. But the other designers have pointed out that she never seems to take the time to line up her patterns along the seam lines, but she doesn't make them so "unlined up" that it looks intentional either. So overall it looks a little cheaper than she probably means it to. I think she expects her great prints to speak for themselves sometimes but I know she can do better.

Michael Costello
I'm not sure why Michael isn't criticized as much as Kenley is for making the same dress over and over again. It's nice and I would wear it if I had the height and shape to pull it off, but what would a runway show of his look like? It would look like Mrs. Roper from Three's Company was having a dozen hot models try on her clothes for her.

Mondo Guerra
Do you ever feel like Mondo's models aren't cool enough to wear his clothes? I love everything Mondo's ever done and I hope he wins, but this model looks like a mom in an early 80's laundry soap commercial who has stumbled into her modern daughter's wardrobe. I don't know. Maybe it's the beige hair and beige shoes.

Austin Scarlett
Another case of a model looking crappy in an otherwise great garment. I love the colour and the silhouette, but it fits oddly. The arms are too short, the hemline's a tad high, and the fit in the shoulders seems odd to me. Oh my god, Austin made this for HIMSELF, didn't he?

So in the end, the final three are Mondo (the winner--hooray!), Austin and Michael. As a fan, there is something very satisfying about seeing the three contestants whose personalities I found the most endearing making it all the way to the finals. Oh gee, you don't think the producers knew that, do you? No, couldn't be. Although it does make me think of Elisa's exit interview in which she said that Austin Scarlett should win, not because of his designs, but because it would make the best overall narrative. Hmm...

Project Runway All-Stars Episode 9: When I Get My Dress in Lights

2012-03-02T10:14:00.001-04:00

Lights, Camera, Are You Kidding Me?

This week's episode was the sort of silliness that previous episodes of Project Runway would have made fun of. The designers had to literally incorporate lights--actual LIGHTS--into their looks and then show them on a black-lit runway. Oh for god's sake, really? REALLY? My only hope is that Isaac accuses the designs of being "too costume-y."

Here's Angela trying to pretend like designers have to incorporate lights and glow sticks into their designs all the time. Yeah, it's totally normal and not at all stupid.

Austin is excited about the lights challenge. VERY excited.

The Runway

Austin Scarlett
Well, good for Austin for basically making an Austin dress that had a little lighting effect, like if the Austin Scarlett woman was in a weird sci-fi movie. But I think the real star here was Austin's face when he found out about the challenge. As Joel McHale said, "it blew his feeble mind."

Jerrell Scott
Jerrell always talks a good game (almost like he wants to be a reality TV star, huh?) but his taste is just never there. Granted, this was a ridiculous challenge that couldn't possibly bring out the best taste in anyone, yet Jerrell still found a way to let it bring out his worst. But maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I just don't realize how many women who wear giant lights on their heads, faces, boobs and hips are actually quite shy and conservative and feel the need to wear bulky long sleeves and maxi skirts to their ankles. It might be a niche market. You know, for Amish ravers.

Kenley Collins
This might be my favourite look that Kenley has ever done. Is that a good thing? I'm not sure anymore.

Michael Costello
It's interesting that he went with a sort of samurai inspiration, but was that on purpose? I can never tell with Michael.

Mondo Guerra
Mondo likes to be the weirdest guy in the room and he likes his designs to be quirky and odd. So when you throw in a bunch of lights and suddenly EVERYONE is being weird and quirky, it kind of throws him. It's like he couldn't "out-quirky" the quirkiness of the challenge. All in all, it looks like Puss 'n Boots went to Vegas to get into a cage match.

The Results:
Austin's was the least stupid so it won. Jerrell's was the most stupid so it lost. That's really what it came down to. But secretly I did love Kenley's.

Project Runway All-Stars Episode 8: O! Say, Can You Sew?

2012-02-24T10:13:00.000-04:00

My Dress is a Visual Representation of the Flag of the Republic of ME!

The designers were brought to the United Nations to pick out flags from six countries (and a few "those are countries? really? who knew?") which they would use as inspiration for their runway looks. They were to be inspired by both the flag and the culture of the country they picked. And, as you would expect, all of the designers rose beautifully to the challenge and created looks you could tell from a mile away were inspired by their chosen countries. Just kidding! They did the same shit they always do, but with more explanation.

The designers, all looking interested and vaguely patriotic. Except my girl Austin, who is apparently distracted by a butterfly. I love Austin. I hope he's on this show FOREVER, even after it's over.

The workroom was a little boring, unless you're interested in Joanna Coles' thoughts on bras (HINT: She's pro. VERY PRO.) so let's just skip to the runway.

The Seychelles Islands are an independent Creole-speaking island nation in the Indian Ocean. Austin saw their colourful flag and squealed with delight, promising to make the best "seashell" dress ever.

Jerell Scott: Because bad taste is universal.

After seeing what the designers came up with this week, the judges decided that it was a stupid challenge and almost just gave the win to Kenley. What was her country? Texas? France? I forget. Who cares?

Michael Costello may be the only contestant in PR history for whom the challenges are too LONG. It only takes him 20 minutes to make a stunning dress. Unfortunately, it takes him 24 hours to make a bedsheet with a pageant bouquet on the shoulder.

It's not Mila's fault that so few countries have flags that are only black and white. Still, this dress inspired by Papua New Guinea is spot on. In fact, if you do a quick Google Image Search of "Papua New Guinea" they're all wearing this exact outfit. In every single one. It's weird, really. Go ahead and search. I'll wait.

My favourite thing about Mondo's dress is how disappointed Isaac was when it referenced the flag of Jamaica in the back. Like the other judges, he had already decided that this challenge was stupid and he didn't want to do it anymore.

My second favourite thing about Mondo's dress is that he learned that Jamaica is known for a laid back attitude, "according to the dossier." Whew! It's a good thing Mondo had that dossier, otherwise how would he have known?

Mila, trying to explain that this dress is not the stupidest thing on the runway. To illustrate her point, she wore these tights.

So to recap: Mondo won (What did he win? Nothing, I think. Just bragging rights. Haha! My dress looked more like Jamaica than yours looked like seashells! Or something.) and Mila lost. Man, she fought Jerell tooth and nail for that loss, but she earned it in the end. Well done, Mila. It truly was the stupidest thing on the runway.

NEXT WEEK: The designers have to design dresses out of glow sticks and fiber optic lights! Oh, I wish I were kidding.

Project Runway All-Stars Episode 7: Puttin' on the Glitz

2012-02-17T10:07:00.059-04:00

Isn't it a bit, I don't know, costume-y?

This week the designers had to design a costume for the Broadway revival of Godspell. I've never seen Godspell, but I've seen Project Runway lots of times and I know that these "costume" challenges are the most fun for the viewers but rarely reflect the designers' point of view (unless that designer is Chris March. I wish HE was on All Stars!). Nonetheless, the designers do the best they can to create a look that is described to them as "a rich lady who is dressed on stage by the other cast members in clothes that look like they come from the thrift store." Kenley was in heaven! Thrift stores? She LOVES thrift stores! She's pretty sure she'll win (SPOILER: She doesn't.).

Joanna Coles workroom critiques follow a predictable pattern of three thoughts: 1. This looks just like what you always design. 2. Look around. Do you really think you belong here? (Ahem. Kara.) and 3. HOW DO YOU WEAR A #&$%-ing BRA WITH THIS?

The bra issue is her personal obsession and will come out in every challenge. However, in this challenge she may have helped the designers out with even more criticisms of the practicality of their designs since part of the challenge was that the outfit had to be assembled on stage. So how exactly would that work if some of these looks are basically halter tops over an otherwise nude model? (I'm looking at you, Michael Costello.) Isn't Godspell a family show??

So here's how they did:

Austin Scarlett--Okay, so which pieces are assembled ON STAGE and what would the actress be wearing BEFORE that??

Jerell Scott--It's okay, and it's about as good as Jerell gets. How does someone SO adorable consistently have such BAD taste?

Kara Janx--Time to go, Kara. Face it, you never should have been here in the first place.

Kenley Collins--I really loved it! The judges didn't love it as much, but whatever. I would wear it if I were a Broadway star who, for some reason, got to pick out my own character's costume without having to consult with anyone else.

Michael Costello--Oh for God's sake, Michael. Please tell me you know how to make something OTHER than a draped halter top and wrap skirt! This was NOT the challenge for this look! And the shoes are all kinds of ridiculous.

Mila Hermanovski--Once again benefitting from having a designer who is worse than her on the runway. That luck won't last forever, Mila.

Mondo Guerra--Oh fun! And if Godspell doesn't use it, maybe there will be a revival of Cats! Really, though, I love, love, loved it. It really looked theatrical, but in the best way.

And the winner is: Mondo! Here is Lindsay Mendez wearing a version of Mondo's winning design in Godspell. I like Mondo's better.

So to recap: Mondo easily won (Kenley was a little bummed but I'm sure she'll live). And in the race for the bottom: Kara! Was anyone surprised, really? Well, I admit I was surprised. Surprised that Kara was even in All Stars to start with. See ya, Kara!