Project Feel Good

Blushing - My Number One Anxiety Symptom

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 11:44:00 +0000

When it comes to anxiety there is one symptom that gets me down more than any other. BLUSHING! I bumble and blush my way through most days. Whenever I feel like the spotlight is on me, I immediately feel the dreaded warm prickly sensation. It happens so quickly and once it starts there is nothing I can do, my cheeks and ears start burning and when I look down at my neck and chest it's a horrible blotchy mess.

Most of my blushing takes place at work, particularly when I am in a meeting or talking to someone more senior to me. It's so frustrating as I really want to progress in my career but I am beginning to feel like my anxiety is a major barrier for me and maybe I am pushing too hard for a position that I'm just not cut out for. I've taken to wearing scarves and tops that cover my blotchy neck and chest but doing this is just getting me down. I feel like I can't be myself and it's eating me up inside.

My first memory of blushing was at my high school formal when I was posing for photos. In the photos I am red and blotchy, at the time I just thought it was an allergic reaction to the necklace I was wearing, but now I know it was because I was feeling vulnerable and self conscious. Throughout University my blushing wasn't too much of an issue, I had few contact hours and kept to myself most of the time. It only affected me when I was giving oral presentations and I didn't have to do too many of these. On my wedding day I dreaded blushing and resorted to sun beds to try and hide it.

Now though, my blushing has taken on a whole new level. It seems to have got worse since I had my first child. I am not sure if there is a connection there but these days someone only has to be friendly to me or ask me a question and I turn red.

And though it mostly happens in work, I've started blushing in all sorts of other situations - when I talk to shop assistants, when I am telling a story to my friends and pretty much whenever I experience any kind of extreme emotion (happy or sad). I feel like an open book, everyone can see exactly how I feel all the time.

I'm not sure what to do. I really want to progress in my career. I have always wanted to be a manager, yet now I question whether this will ever be possible. I don't want to have to cover up my blushing forever. When I set up "Project Feel Good" I really wanted to move away from fighting my anxiety and begin the process of accepting and understanding that it is just a part of me.

The problem is, I just don't know if I will ever be okay with my blushing.

I want to be okay with it. So today I am appealing for help, for suggestions, a little support... I don't have the answers on this topic but a problem shared is a problem halved, isn't that what they say? So I'm handing this one over to my wonderful readers.

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au

Holiday Happy Snaps

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 14:15:00 +0000

I'm back from a fantastic holiday with my little family. For me, one of the best things about going on holidays with my family is that I don't feel nearly as anxious. When it's just my family around me I feel loved and safe and I can relax and just be myself.

And when I'm relaxed and I slow down, I start to see things from a different perspective. In my last post I talked about the things that are going on in my life that have been stressing me out, the main ones being my work, my studies and our finances. While I was on holidays my mindset started to shift and I stopped seeing everything as an obstacle and started seeing the opportunties that lie within each of these things.

I went into the holiday feeling stressed and anxious and I came home feeling calmer, happier, stronger and more energized. It's amazing how much the body, mind and spirit can heal in just one week.

Now for some photos, I can't believe I actually took some!

On the River at Noosaville Queensland - a fantastic place for a family holiday

Meet my little family - Richie, Sophia and Me

Now that's a cuddle, best buddies

Yep Sophia is driving the boat!

I love this photo of me with my gorgeous girl

Have you taken a holiday recently or do you have one coming up? If not, maybe it's time to start planning!

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au/

Sometimes You Just Need a Rest

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 12:13:00 +0000

It's been two weeks since I last posted. You might be wondering, what's up? The truth is, I haven't been feeling all that good. I wish that I could always follow my own advice and keep my anxiety at bay but every now and then I have a flare up and the last couple of weeks has been exactly that.

If I step outside of myself for a minute and look at what has been going on, I can see that there were a number of triggers....

A string of colds and infections that really knocked, me, my daughter and my husband around.
I feel terrible to put the 31 Days to Build a Better Blog Challenge on the list but I have to confess, the daily tasks and my own desire not to miss anything, took its toll.
A major project in work with a fast approaching deadline and a few incidents where my judgment was questioned.
Starting a Diploma in Project Management after several study free years.
Financial stress resulting from an onslaught of bills, an increase in mortgage repayments and problems with our Irish investment property.
Cold wintry weather – not the be all and end all but you know when you get to the end of winter and you're just itching for sunshine, those dreary days can start to get a bit depressing.

I'm usually pretty good at managing my anxiety but sometimes when there is a whole lot going on at once I start to struggle. I get to a point where my anxiety takes over and I can feel it all through my body – I feel queasy, tired, irritable and, above all, I feel tense. I get incredibly stiff all through my neck and shoulders.

The good news is that the tension is starting to drain out of my shoulders and I am taking some time out to rejuvenate. And what better place to do that than on the Sunshine Coast in Noosa, Queensland. Yep I am on holidays for the next week!!!

On the wall of our holiday apartment there's a wonderful quote

My husband and daughter have definitely mastered this ... I am still learning!

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au

Reading Your Way to Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 12:50:00 +0000

It’s been a while since I've been completely swept up in a great book. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does – it’s such a high! A great book gives me a happiness boost that last for days.

With Summer just around the corner, today, I started to think about which books I'd like by my side during those long hot days.

To help me choose, I've been checking out some great book lists:

1. Angus & Robertson Top 100 List
2. Dymocks 2010 Booklovers’ Best Top 101 List
3. Oprah Winfrey's Book Club
4. Border’s Book Club
5. Australian Women’s Weekly Book Club

(1) and (2) are fantastic, they show the most popular books, as voted by the Australian public. The two lists are quite similar, with the Twilight Saga and The Harry Potter Series taking the top spots on both lists. It’s fun to read through the lists, I was surprised at how many of the books I have read.

I’ll never read them all though, there’s a part of me that would love to be able to say I've read the "100 Most Popular Books in Australia", but I know that it is impossible that I’d enjoy all 100 books and I made a pact several years ago that I would not read books just for the sake of it.

I know some books take a while to get into, but I’m just not in the business of struggling to read, reading is for pleasure. I used to look at books and find myself saying “I really ought to read that, it’s won so many awards.”

Not anymore.

My time is too precious. I’m very busy working, looking after my little girl, keeping fit and healthy, writing my blog and spending time with my friends and family. The little time I do get to read, I definitely want to spend it reading books that give me pleasure and leave me feeling good.

With this in mind, I've picked out a selection of books to give a go, this Summer!

What’s on your reading list? Do you stick with a book even if you are not enjoying it? I'd love to hear from you.

Happy Reading x

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au

Trusting the Ups and Downs of Life

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 03:27:00 +0000

Argh! The last two weeks have been yuck. I went from feeling confident and on top of things to feeling overwhelmed, pissed off and grumpy.

What happened?

Well it all started when my 2 year old daughter became very ill with a virus, this lead to croup and then a chest infection. I had to take a week off work to look after her and with daily visits to the doctor and a clingy child, everything went out the window.

I didn’t make it to the gym. I stopped eating well. I neglected my blog and I got behind on all my “to do” lists. I started to feel like I was failing and losing control. Then the guilt set in... My little girl was unwell and yet I was more worried about falling behind on all my plans.

That was last week. This week, my little girl has bounced back and is up to her usual shenanigans :-). I have been trying to get back on track with everything but I have been fighting a losing battle. Of course, the inevitable has happened and now I have a chest infection! So yet again all my plans are on hold.

Yesterday, after being sent home from work, I decided I needed some help to pull myself out of the hole I felt like I was falling in, so I took out Doreen Virtue's Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards. The card that I picked was, Maeve, Goddess of Cycles and Rhythms.

Maeve's message was exactly what I needed:

"All of life is cyclical: the moon, the stars and the very universe. Life inhales and then exhales again. So why should you be surprised or upset that you too have cycles? There are times when you feel energized, awake and alive. There are other times when you feel isolated and shy. Your body too, goes through pronounced cycles and changes. Celebrate these rhythms and embrace them as the essence of the lifeblood that courses through you!"

This message transformed my thinking. I'd been too quick to judge the last two weeks as terrible. Life has it's ups and downs and whether you are experiencing joy or whether you are in the midst of a struggle, all of life's incidents have their purpose. It's natural to crave stability and comfort, however change is always there, the only constant in life is change. The more we can accept change as a natural part of life, the more relaxed we are and the more we are able to enjoy life.

To be able to trust the ups and downs of life is powerful.

While I don't completely understand the reasons why I've been thrown off course over the last two weeks - I trust that there is a reason for it. Perhaps, I needed to learn that while I love to blog, the health and wellbeing of my family and myself is more important. It is ok to get sick. It's ok to take a break and lie on the couch all day with your little girl. Sometimes it's only when you're unwell that you truly slow down and take time out to replenish your energy and re-focus your mind.

I'm at home from work today and starting to feel better. Not just physically but emotionally. A little bit of time out really does do wonders. What do you do when you feel overwhelmed by everything that is going on in your life?

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au

My Top 31DBBB Blog Picks (so far)

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:36:00 +0000

I'm over half way through the 31 Days To Build A Better Blog Challenge. The best part, so far, hasn't been the technical, how to make your blog better stuff (though I sure have benefited from that part). The best part has been the friendship and camaraderie that has grown as a result of sharing the experience via the SITS/BlogFrog Community.

Today, I want to share a little love and highlight a few of the blogs that have found their way to me and made a lasting impression...

Mothering Mayhem
I love how this blog celebrates the joy and chaos that inevitably comes with being a mother to four children. The stories make me laugh out loud and the photos remind me, how every day, despite the dramas, is a gift.
Adventuroo
Outdoor adventurer...tech geek...marketing ninja...grammar guru and mama to two gorgeous boys - what's not to love? Something for everyone in this blog!
Confessions of a Dr. Mom
A very touching and honest parenting blog written by a paediatrician turned stay-at-home-mom. Dr. Mom's warmth and compassion shines through as she blogs about the realities of parenting.
Deva Coaching
I'm addicted to Sandi's straight-talking, solution-focused style of coaching. Her blog posts are punchy and packed full of practical tips and tools for living your best life.
Gnome Angel
This blog is delicious! It's loaded up with unique bits and pieces - arts, crafts, design, fashion...all sorts of totally gorgeous things that you can't help but want.
The Mommyhood Memos
A beautifully written, funny and inspiring blog about a first time American mom living in Australia. After reading this, I wished that I had known about blogging when my daughter was born. And I just have to say, the star in this blog, baby "Levi", is a little cutie.
Designer Wife
I love the tag line for this blog: "Designing a healthy, balanced and beautiful life". The whole blog is fabulous, Lindsay is fabulous - her energy for life and great sense of humour keeps me coming back for more.
1000 Reasons I'm A Crap Mum
For anyone who has ever felt a bit guilty about their parenting skills, this blog is for you. It's hilarious and makes you feel a bit better about all those parenting blunders you've ever made.

Well that's it for today. I hope you have enjoyed my list - it's by no means a definitive list, if only I had more time! It's just a few blogs that have made me smile.

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au

The Beginners Guide to Project Feel Good

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 21:54:00 +0000

I have been overjoyed by the new visitors that have popped over to Project Feel Good in recent weeks. With so many new faces, the time seems right to take Darren Rowse's 7 Link Challenge and publish a post that includes links to 7 posts that have shaped my blogging journey to date.

So without further ado...

My first post
Look Good and Feel Good This Winter
It was a beautiful sunny day and as I wondered around my garden I got that feeling …. you know when you feel like you are on the verge of something new, something fantastic, something that will change your life. At this stage I wasn’t quite sure what it was but I knew that it would involve writing and it would have a “feel good” emphasis so I sat down with my notebook and scrawled this post.

A post I enjoyed writing the most
What Is Making You Feel Good Right Now?
I was a couple of months into Project Feel Good and really excited about how good I was feeling. This post wrote itself, it just flowed out of me, I couldn’t type fast enough. I like to re-read it every now and then, especially when I am feeling stressed and need to refocus my energies on the things that make me feel good.

A post which had a great discussion
I Need Your Help, Which Blog Ideas Should I Focus On?
At first, I wasn't sure whether to share my list of blog post ideas and ask for feedback. Asking for feedback is still something I struggle with (there's a blog post idea right there). I am so happy I did though, as now I have a much clearer idea of what my readers want and a few ideas I hadn't thought of before!

A post on someone else’s blog that I wish I had written
Simple Living Simplified: 10 Things You Can Do Today To Simplify Your Life
Leo Babauta of Zen Habits, oh how I love you J Most people know that I like my life to be calm and organized - my in-tray is neat, my house is uncluttered, everything has a place…. I wish I had written this post by Leo as it pretty much sums up my overall approach to keeping things simple. Mind you Leo writes so well, your best bet is checking out his blog, it's fantastic.

A post with a title that I am proud of
Going Public With Project Feel Good
I agonised for a couple of months before I made the decision to go public with my blog. Project Feel Good went from being my own personal online diary to a fully functional blog with regular subscribers, something I am very proud of.

A post that I wish more people had read
Do You Express How You Really Feel?
I wrote this post before I went public with Project Feel Good. I wish more people had read it as the three step strategy for identifying and expressing feelings has really helped me to use my emotions in a positive way.

My most visited post ever
Coping with Gym Anxiety
After starting yet another gym membership, I was determined to manage my gym anxiety and get fit and healthy. Turns out I am not alone when it comes to gym anxiety, this post has been my most visited and commented on blog post to date.

Well that's it for my 7 Link Challenge. I hope you have enjoyed reading about the journey I have travelled so far in creating Project Feel Good.

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au/

I Need Your Help - Which Blog Ideas Should I Focus On?

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:51:00 +0000

I recently made a great decision, I signed up to the SITS ProBlogger Challenge and I am steadily working through Darren Rowse's fantastic book, 31 Days to Build A Better Blog (31DBBB). The best part is, I am not alone, I am sharing this amazing experience with over 500 mommy bloggers from around the world.

Since I started, I have been overwhelmed with the support and encouragement I have received and I now know that I have made the right decision in speaking openly about my experiences of anxiety and "Going Public with Project Feel Good".

Yesterday’s 31DBBB challenge (yes I am a day behind at the moment) was to come up with a list of blog post ideas. Straight away I reached for my trusty notebook. I love reading all my scrawls, so it didn't take me long to put together a list of ideas.

But here's the thing... it's all well and good for me to come up with a list, but this blog isn’t just about me anymore, it’s about you. I want to get to know you and write posts that will help you to feel good. So I have decided to share my ideas with you and ask a little favor.

What I'd love you to do, is to read my list of ideas and let me know the post ideas you would most like to see come to fruition.

This will help me to write blogs that you want to read.

So here is the list....

Admitting you have anxiety - the pros, the cons
Tips for a great night's sleep
The low-down on relaxation techniques
Is your diet increasing your anxiety?
Social anxiety, it's more than shyness
Living in the now - how this philosophy really helps
Tips for simplifying your life
Strategies for coping with driving anxiety
The secret to forming habits that stick
My Top "Feel Good" books
Self awareness - how it helps, how it hinders
Tips for super busy, stressed out mums
How to breathe away your anxiety
Why do I have anxiety? What causes it?
Creative ways to express yourself
Insights from celebrity anxiety sufferers
Personality factors that affect anxiety
Symptoms of anxiety and how to manage them
My top tips for de-stressing
The impact of major life changes on stress and anxiety
Tips for keeping your relationship healthy
You can change how you think - here's how
Tips for building your self esteem

I can’t wait for your input, please don’t hold back. I value your opinions and need your help to make Project Feel Good a fantastic resource packed full of practical and valuable tips for coping with stress, fear and anxiety.

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au

Coping with Gym Anxiety

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 06:42:00 +0000

Over the past few weeks I have put the spotlight on my exercise habits. If you read my About page you will see that I have never managed to complete a full gym membership, I hate standing at the front of any gym class and I am seriously uncoordinated. Gyms, in general, make me feel anxious. I worry about how I look, whether I will be able to use the equipment, how uncoordinated I am and whether my daughter is surviving in the crèche.

I haven't given up altogether on gyms though, in fact I recently joined a new gym and for the past week I've been testing the waters and going to a few classes. So far so good, I've got off to a great start, so today I thought I would share some of the tips I have learned and put into practice on coping with gym anxiety.

1. Arrange an induction
One of the hardest aspects of starting at a new gym, is not knowing how it all works. Most gyms offer an induction where a staff member will show you the facilities, explain how the equipment works and answer any questions you might have. I always get nervous when I go to an induction but I'd be lost without one. It breaks the ice so that when you do start working out you feel more at ease.

2. Go with a friend
Sometimes it makes the whole process easier if you join with a friend. Then you can be newbies together and laugh your way through the first few visits. Walking into a gym with a friend by your side is much less intimidating than walking in on your own.

3. Try the least scary options first

To build up your confidence, start off with whatever type of exercise you feel most comfortable with. If you already run on a treadmill or you have been to a few yoga classes, start with these. As your confidence grows, down the track you can try other options and see what you enjoy the most.

4. Challenge negative self-talk

When you walk into a gym it is easy to start thinking that everyone is looking at you and judging you. The reality is that most people at the gym are focused on what they are doing and not really that bothered about new people. Everyone was new at some point and I'm sure most people have fallen off a treadmill or stuffed up an aerobics routine at some point. So when negative thoughts sneak in remind yourself of this and think about the amazing benefits you will reap from regularly going to the gym.

5. Wear clothes you feel comfortable in

I'm a shopaholic, so starting at a new gym is a great excuse for splurging on new gear. There is some logic behind it though, the other day I went to the gym in some pretty average trackies and I felt really self conscious, whereas with my new yoga pants on I felt much more confident. The main thing though is to choose something that you feel comfortable in.

6. Get to classes early

If you are doing classes at the gym or have booked into a personal trainer session, it pays to arrive a few minutes early so you can find where you need to go, figure out what equipment you need, and ask the trainer any questions you might have. If you are rushed and unsure of things you are more likely to feel anxious.

7. Connect with others

When you don't know anyone, the gym can be very overwhelming. If you look around though there are probably people that are feeling just as intimidated and self-conscious as you are. Try, if possible, to strike up some conversation with the people around you and before long you will start to enjoy seeing regular faces each week.

8. Exercise to music

If you prefer to do your own work-out rather than attend a class, bring along some great music to listen to. Music is a fantastic stress reliever, it can help you to calm down and take your mind off your anxiety. Try a few different types of music to see what works best for you.

9. Focus your mind on your body

In yoga you learn how to quieten your mind by focusing on your body. This can be applied to any type of exercise and is really useful for dispelling anxious thoughts. While you are exercising, focus on how your body feels, notice any tight spots and pay attention to your breathing. You will me amazed at how good it feels to zone out from the daily chatter of the mind and just focus on the physical state of the body.

10. Establish a routine

As you get more into your exercise program, start to establish a routine. Most anxiety sufferers love familiarity and predictability. Once you get yourself into a routine, exercising at the gym will begin to feel like second nature and many of the anxious feelings will dissipate. 3 weeks is generally a good amount of time to establish a routine, so make sure that you stick with it as it will get easier.

These are just a few tips that have helped me to cope with my gym anxiety. I still get nervous and self conscious from time to time but over-all I am really enjoying my new exercise program and looking forward to sharing my progress with you over the coming months.

If reading this post has got you thinking about your own exercise habits, you might like to read my previous posts; The Benefits of Exercise on Anxiety and 7 Tips to Kick-start Your Exercise Program.

Warm wishes

projectfeelgood@live.com
http://www.projectfeelgood.com.au

7 Tips to Kick-start Your Exercise Program

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 12:50:00 +0000

Today's post is the second in a series on exercise and anxiety. In the first part of the series I talked about the benefits of exercise on anxiety, today's post is all about how to get started. I've got 7 great tips to kick-start your exercise program:

1. Seek advice
Before you rush out and sign up to your local gym or buy a treadmill, take some time to work out what your exercise goals are and what kind of exercise program is suited to you. If possible speak to a specialist in the fitness industry who can assess your current level of fitness, talk to you about the different types of exercise available and tailor a program to your own unique needs.

2. Try a few activites
It's easy to think of exercise as "running on the treadmill", but these days there is so much choice - if going to the gym isn't your thing, you could try an organised sport or if you like the great outdoors how about trekking or cycling? There are so many different ways to get active. If you can, try out a few things before making a commitment. This is especially valuable if you are considering activities that involve significant upfront costs.

3. Stick with activities you enjoy
Once you've tried a few things, pick the activities you enjoy. The more you enjoy exercise, the more you are likely to do it. My grandma was still dancing in her eighties not just to stay healthy but because she loved everything about dancing - the outfits, the sparkly shoes, the music and the social aspect to it. If you build your exercise program around activities you enjoy you are onto a winner.

4. Start slowly
If you haven't exercised in a while, it is important to ease yourself into a new exercise program. Keep your program simple and listen to your body, let it guide you in setting the frequency, duration and intensity of your exercise. Often people throw themselves into an exercise program for the first few weeks and then give up when they can't maintain the program. Work towards making exercise a habit, set yourself a program that you can build up over time.

5. Have an exercise buddy
Most of us have been in the situation where it's a cold and rainy night and we don't want to exercise but we've promised to meet a friend so we reluctantly get up off the couch, make the effort and feel a million times better for it. Having an exercise buddy makes exercising more social and helps to keep you motivated.

6. Make a plan
Once you've tried out a few things it's time to set yourself a plan. Think about what your goals are, what is it that you want to get out of your exercise program? Is it faster speed, more endurance, weight loss, greater flexibility or more muscle definition? It is easier to stay motivated if you have something you are working towards, so set yourself specific short term and long term goals and remember to celebrate as you reach them.

7. Exercise often
To reap the benefits of exercise, you need to make sure that you exercise regularly. In Australia it is recommended that adults exercise for a mimimum of 30 minutes everyday. If 30 minutes per day is not realistic for you, aim for 3-4 times per week and try to integrate exercise into your daily life as much as possible e.g. take the stairs, park further away from your destination, walk or cycle where possible and if you have children or pets spend some time outside with them. The goal is to get active!

I hope these tips inspire you to get moving. With my own exercise program, so far I have visited my local gym and I am now in the phase of trying it out to see whether it is the right approach for me. In my next post I will write a more personal blog about my own experiences including how I'm feeling about going to the gym, whether my anxiety is rearing it's head, how committed I am or whether I need to try something else. In the meantime you might like to check out my post on yoga and how beneficial it is as an anxiety and stress buster. Keep active everybody!

The Benefits of Exercise on Anxiety

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 13:19:00 +0000

Something has been niggling at me the past couple of weeks. Although I am coping well with my anxiety, I know that there is one part of my anxiety management plan that needs attention. I do not get enough exercise, there I've said it! More to the point, I do not get enough cardiovascular exercise. I love yoga and I have seen some tremendous benefits from regular yoga, but I can't help but wonder if I would feel even better if I combined my yoga with other forms of exercise and exercised on a more regular basis.

Numerous studies have shown that exercise can help to relieve stess and anxiety while contributing to over-all health and feelings of well-being. It is not understood exactly why exercise has such a positive effect, however studies point to a combination of the following factors:

Encourages more rapid metabolism of chemicals in the body that cause stress
Releases feel good chemicals (seratonin and endorphins) that naturally lift your mood
Reduces skeletal muscle tension and aids physical relaxation
Provides a healthy distraction from negative thought patterns
Provides an outlet for the release of aggression and frustration which if allowed to build up can lead to stress and anxiety
Enhances your self image, particularly as you start to see the results of regular exercise (e.g. loss of weight and enhanced muscle tone)
Improves sleep
Increases energy levels
Provides opportunities for social interaction
Provides a sense of achievement and empowerment as you take control of your life and reach your goals

Exercise is not a stand-alone solution to anxiety. However, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that it is a powerful and effective means of reducing anxiety that works particulary well when combined with other anxiety management techniques.

Despite all these benefits, if you are anything like me, sticking to an exercise plan isn't easy. I've made up my mind though, tomorrow I am going to take the first step and contact the gym I drive past everyday on my way home from work. I've been thinking about it for ages, time to stop thinking and start doing.

I would love to hear from anyone who includes regular exercise in their anxiety management plan or perhaps you would like to join me in trying it out!

7 Tips to Reduce Anxiety

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 05:48:00 +0000

This year I have been exploring different ways to reduce my anxiety. I have been reading books, blogs and articles, talking to people about anxiety and most importantly trying out tips and techniques. From this I have developed my own "Anxiety Surivival Guide" - a list of the key tips that have helped me to reduce my anxiety:

1. Accept that you get anxious
I was in denial about my anxiety until, one day, a friend told me about her experiences of anxiety. I couldn't believe how open she was, it was inspiring and refreshing. From that day, I stopped trying to fight my anxiety and started to accept it. I realised that it is ok to say, "I'm feeling anxious", it's not a sign of weakness in fact it is a sign of strength.

2. Understand your anxiety
For years I couldn't even bring myself to google the word, "anxiety" - I was too scared of what I might find out. Now I take the opposite approach, I believe that the more you understand about your anxiety the better you are able to cope with it. Over the past few months I have immersed myself in material, too many to mention them all but I would like to recommend Edmund J. Bourne's The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, Fourth Edition and Aimee White's fantastic blog The Reality of Anxiety, both have helped me enormously.

3. You don't have to manage on your own Once I realised that I could talk about my anxiety, I also realised that I didn't have to face it alone. I confided in my husband and he has become my number one supporter. He helps me to cope with my anxiety by checking in on me and just asking me how I am. I am fortunate in that my husband understands anxiety. Not everyone "gets it", though, so it's important to choose your support network carefully. If you can't find support in your friends and family, you might like to try an anxiety support group or an online forum.

4. Learn to relax and slow down
I had to learn how to relax and make a conscious effort to slow down and stop fussing. There are many relaxation techniques but the one that I rate above all of the rest is yoga. For me, the combination of deep breathing, visualisation, meditation and stretching has helped me to quieten my mind and relax my body. For more about my experiences of yoga and anxiety check out: Yoga - An Anxiety & Stress Buster.

5. Adopt a healthy lifestyle
If you are not getting enough sleep, eating junk and being a couch potato your chances of feeling stressed and anxious are much higher. For me, it's all about balance, I eat a well balanced diet that includes some treats, I exercise regularly (though not as much as I'd like), I aim for 8 hours quality sleep per night and I keep myself hydrated and try not to overload on caffeine. In general, I aspire to a healthy life but I am not too rigid in my approach, it's important to set realistic goals that you can maintain over time.

6. Make time for the things you enjoy
My blog is called "Project Feel Good" for a reason, it's all about feeling good. Over the past few months my focus has been on finding out what things make me feel good and doing more of those things. Often we put off our "feel good activities" because we have other seemingly more important things to do. Don't underestimate the importance of "me time", make time for the things you enjoy, whether that be a hit of tennis, a walk in the park, or reading a book. I have found that in managing anxiety it is vital to have outlets, things that you enjoy that don't trigger your anxiety.

7. Be kind to yourself
It's easy to beat yourself up when you feel anxious but it doesn't help. I am learning to be kinder, to treat myself as I would treat someone else. If my friend came to me and said they'd had a terrible day and couldn't get out of bed, I wouldn't say "You're pathetic", I'd be kind and supportive. I've become much more aware of my own self-talk and I am gradually changing my language and replacing negative comments with words of encouragement.

I hope you have enjoyed my 7 Tips to Reduce Anxiety. For more ideas and inspiration check out What is making you feel good right now?

What is Making You Feel Good Right Now?

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 13:34:00 +0000

Today I had a spring in my step, come to think of it yesterday I had a spring in my step! Yep at the moment I feel really good, in fact, good, doesn't even do it justice, I feel amazing. Which got me to thinking, why do I feel so good? What is it about my life right now that is making me happy?

So often we analyze where we went wrong in order to find answers, but isn't it even more powerful to look at the times when we get it right?

Think about it for a minute, what is working well for you at the moment? Are you enjoying your work or are you enjoying catching up with friends and bitching about how much you hate your work? It doesn't matter what it is, it can be something small or something huge - just take the time to think about what makes you feel good, what puts a spring in your step?

So now it's my turn to get reflective, It's Saturday night, my two year old daughter is snuggled up with all her toys, I'm in my pajamas, I've just watched a chick flick, I've painted my nails and I've settled down to do one of the things I love most in the world, I've settled down to write... to write a list of what is working for me right now? So here goes...

1. I've found a focus and my focus is my passion

It has taken me nearly 30 years to figure out what I love to do. I love to write. I wish I could speak as well as I can write, but I'm too shy and anxious, I worry too much about what people think. But when I sit down on the computer or open up my notebook, I feel relaxed, and it just flows. Starting this blog has been instrumental in changing how I feel, it has given me an outlet to express myself, it has introduced me to some amazing people and it has inspired me to learn, to connect with others and to make a difference.

2. I've re-discovered my sparkle

Somewhere in the process of having a baby, organising a wedding, moving countries, moving house, finding a job and then losing it, I lost my sparkle. I am not sure when it happened but it happened. I got tired. Really tired. I just didn't have the energy to do the things I used to do, I stopped painting my nails, I stopped putting on fake tan, I stopped getting dressed up, they sound like superficial things, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, looking good and feeling good go hand in hand for me. At first I put it down to getting older, and being a mum - but then I realised that's a load of rubbish, just because you have kids or just because you're a certain age doesn't mean you can't sparkle. Thankfully I've found my sparkle and as I tap away on the keyboard I am looking down at my shiny red nails and that in itself brings a smile to my face.

3. I've realised how important my friends are

I don't have a tonne of friends, in fact the guest list for my thirtieth later this year is looking pretty small but I am truly blessed. I went to see Sex and the City II with a friend last week and while I watched the film I had a moment. I looked up at the screen and instead of seeing Carrie I saw myself (come on, we all think we're Carrie), and instead of Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, I saw the faces of my friends and it brought back a flood of amazing memories. I have friends I see all the time, some that I see every few years, some that I've drifted apart from and new friends that I've only recently made and each and every one has brought something incredible into my life.

4. I've simplified my life

I've had a whole lot going on in the last two years - babies, houses, weddings, travels etc and I fell into the trap of thinking things will be better when the baby is born, or, when the wedding is over with, or when we get to Australia. My happiness always seemed to be at some point in the future. But it's not anymore, my happiness is in the here and now. Finally I have got to where I want to be and I am enjoying my simple and beautiful life.

5. I've created time for me

I've always liked being alone and having "me" time. Whether that be having a bath, listening to some music, reading or just chilling out. One of the things about being married and being a mum is that sometimes finding "me" time feels like the search for the holy grail. Luckily for me, I've been getting my fix on Saturday nights. My husband is a boxing coach and he often has competitions on a Saturday night, so while he heads off to do what he is passionate about, I get some time for me. Instead of getting anxious about being at home on my own I've started to fully embrace it for what it is. It is my time.

6. I've created my own haven

As well as creating time for me, I've created space for me. I'm a homey person and I like to feel safe in my own little sanctuary. We have recently bought and renovated a house. It's a modest home but it's ours and we designed it ourselves. And sure, if we had buckets of money it would look different but the important thing is how it feels and it feels good. I am also starting to feel more at home in my job. I started a new position nearly a year ago and it has taken me a long time to settle in and feel at ease but it's starting to happen, it's starting to feel less new and shiny and more warm and comfy.

7. I'm looking after my whole self

And finally, it's a simple one but an important one - I am looking after my whole self. I've talked about having "me" time and that's part of looking after myself but there's all sorts of ways you can look after yourself - eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, drinking more water, and not being so hard on yourself. I'd be lying if I said that I do all these things all the time, but I do them some of the time and I don't beat myself up over it if I let things go. I focus on being kind to myself.

So I reckon that's a pretty good list. Right now I'm feeling good, I'm a positive person and I'd like to be able to say that I am cured and I'll never experience, stress, fear and anxiety again, but I am a realist and I've been through the ups and downs before. My hope is that if I do start to waver, and I can feel the dark clouds setting in, then I can look back at this list to remind me of some of the things that make me feel good.

7 Tips for Beating the Winter Blues

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 13:04:00 +0000

Today in work, the topic of conversation turned to, Winter, and how hard it is to feel good, both physically and emotionally, during the colder months. It reminded me of an article I wrote last year; "7 Tips for Beating the Winter Blues". Check it out:

Reflect on what it is you love about Winter. It’ll be over soon and then you’ll start missing those cosy nights with the fire on. There’s plenty to love about Winter. I personally love Winter cooking – roasts, casseroles and soups, delicious. Winter is also a great time for curling up and reading books or watching movies.
Bring some colour into your life. Winter is a gloomy affair and those grey clouds are contagious. Ever notice how your Winter wardrobe seems to consist of grey, brown, black and more black. Brighten up your wardrobe and wear some bright colours. Could be some jewellery or a tie, a splash of colour makes all the difference. It doesn’t just have to be your wardrobe, brighten up your house with a new paint job, some fresh flowers or new furnishings.
Resist the temptation to go straight home each night. In Winter you are much less likely to catch up with a friend, go for a walk, or do an evening class. Often as soon as we see that it is dark outside, our instinct is to go straight home. We miss out on valuable experiences and interaction which makes us feel good. Plan a few weeknight activities you will feel better.
Wrap up and get outside. Often, particularly here in Adelaide where the summer days can be sweltering, Winter days are the best days for getting out and doing things. So put your coat on and get active, try a winter sport, a long walk, a bike ride, or a trip to your local farmers market. Enjoy that crisp fresh air.
Get healthy. Not only will you supercharge your immune system and fend off those nasty bugs going around, you’ll also get yourself into tip top shape for summer. Start focusing on what you put into your body and aim for 30 minutes of exercise per day. Walk to work, take the stairs, park the car further away – just get moving.
Catch up on rest and relaxation. If there are gale force winds outside and it’s pouring cats and dogs, sometimes the best thing to do is surrender to it. Some days are great days for catching up on sleep, curling up with a book or taking a long soak in the bath.
Plan a holiday. Even with all the tips above, sometimes the best solution is to get away from the cold, even for a few days. A bit of sunshine works wonders, so plan a weekend break somewhere sunny. It also gives you something to look forward to.

Hope these tips help, happy Winter to everyone in the Southern Hemisphere :-)

Tea for Anxiety

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 04:45:00 +0000

Back in April, I wrote a post called the Caffeine Challenge. My aim was to reduce my caffeine intake to 2-3 cups of tea per day and increase my water consumption to 2 litres. I have to confess, while I started strongly, recently I've been increasingly reaching for my old friend - the nice warm comforting cuppa. In fact it was over a cup of tea that I read about the benefits of tea for anxiety sufferers.

For centuries people have been drinking tea as a means of relaxing and re-energising. Researchers have now discovered the science behind it. Tea contains L-Theanine, an amino acid that has been shown to enhance relaxation and promote concentration. Lipton's website contains further information regarding the benefits of L-Theanine in tea.

Good news for tea lovers like me, but definitely not a license to drink endless cups of tea. 2-3 cups of tea daily is all that is needed to reap the benefits of L-Theanine. So it looks like the Caffeine Challenge is back on. I definitely felt less sluggish and more energised when I was drinking less tea so there's good incentive for me to get back on track.

Going Public with "Project Feel Good"

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 11:41:00 +0000

I started the blog "Project Feel Good" in March this year to help me accept and learn more about my anxiety. I thought it would be a good outlet for me, a place for me to write down my feelings, thoughts and ideas. Somewhere for me to record my anxiety successes and challenges. It wasn't my intention then and it is not my intention now for Project Feel Good to be a burden. I do not want to get caught up in how many entries I have written, or whether or not anyone is reading it – that’s not what is important. The purpose of my blog is to help me to manage my anxiety so that I feel good. If my blog starts causing me stress and anxiety, I’ve missed the point.

So far the only person that has read my blog is my husband. Even showing him was a massive step for me, just a few months ago I had not told anyone about my anxiety. In fact I hadn’t even been able to admit it to myself. I was scared that by admitting my anxiety I was succumbing to it, that I was letting it win. I was worried what others would think. Would they think less of me as a person? Would I become labelled as weak and incompetent? I also wondered if people would think that I was writing about my anxiety to get attention.

Now that I have been writing for a few months, I am not as fearful about what other people think and I feel that the positives of sharing my blog outweigh the negative. I want to expand my learning and in order to do that it would be great to draw on other people’s experiences. I only realised that I suffer from anxiety in the last year, I haven’t read all the books… I am just taking each day as it comes and learning as I go. I would love to hear from anyone who has experienced anxiety or knows someone who has. I also hope that some of what I have learned is helpful to others and if I can help just one person, any discomfort I experience from being open about my anxiety is worth it.

So now I just have to figure out how to take my blog to the next level. I've bought Google Blogger for Dummies and I have subscribed to ProBlogger an amazing blog by Darren Rowse on how to blog. I'm learning so much, it has been a long time since I have been so excited, it just feels right!

Do You Express How You Really Feel?

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Sat, 29 May 2010 05:11:00 +0000

I am what some people might call a "yes" person. In work my managers have described me as having a can-do attitude and a willingness to pick up anything and make it work. Undoubtedly great qualities, however, being a "yes" person has its drawbacks - it means that I tend to go along with things even if they annoy, frustrate, anger or upset me. I do this because I'd rather say "yes" than confront someone and tell them how I really feel.

Like many anxiety sufferers I often keep my feelings to myself, particularly feelings I think of as negative. There are many reasons for this, part of it relates to the way I was brought up. Expressing emotions wasn't encouraged in my childhood and there was a strong emphasis on getting things right, being pleasant and relying on logic to make decisions. Times have changed though and increasingly people are recognising the value of understanding and expressing emotions.

For me, the challenge has been to break away from the past and change the way that I think about emotions. I know that I shy away from expressing certain emotions such as anger and frustration because I have this need to be perfect, to be in control, to be likeable... I worry about what people will think if I tell them how I really feel.

Over the past couple of weeks I have made a conscious effort to express my emotions and not just the positive ones. Rather than just saying "yes" I am making a point of sticking up for myself, valuing my opinions and emotions enough to put them across. And you know what, the results have been good, nothing terrible has happened, in fact I feel much better for getting things off my chest and I have been able to initiate some positive changes at home and at work. Being able to express feelings as well as practical solutions is a powerful skill.

As it has been so helpful for me, I'd like to share with others a three-step process for expressing how you feel and getting what you really want out of life:

STEP 1: IDENTIFY YOUR FEELINGS
Learn how to identify feelings. Spend some time becoming aware of how you feel in different situations. Tune in to how your body responds, notice what is going on - is your breathing fast or slow, are you tense or relaxed, are you hot or cold? Another useful step is to name the feeling. There are some great lists of feelings on the internet which can be helpful to look through.

STEP 2: EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS
Experiment with different ways of expressing your feelings. You could talk to a friend or family member that you trust, write down how you feel in a journal, use art to express how you feel or use physical methods - e.g. hit a pillow or do an intense work-out. At this step, the focus is simply on letting your feelings out.

STEP 3: TAKE ACTION
Take action - in other words use your emotions intelligently, let them guide you in your day-to-day life. For example, if you are feeling frustrated at your partner because he is not doing his share around the house, talk to him about it, be assertive and suggest how you could share things more evenly. This step involves more than just expressing your emotion, it is not about getting angry or venting your frustrations. It is about being pro-active and using your emotions to make good decisions that will have a positive impact on your life.

This three step process has worked well for me, it has helped me to use my emotions in a positive way. The real breakthrough for me was the realisation that it is ok to express emotions such as anger and frustration, that I don't always have to be nice and please everyone around me. In fact honesty can be very refreshing - so next time I am feeling confused, scared, unsure, angry and anxious I am not going to hold it in. I am going to let my emotions out, let them help me to get what I want out of life.

The Best Cookbook I Have Ever Read

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Wed, 12 May 2010 04:08:00 +0000

One of the gifts I got for Mother's Day was Julie Goodwin's (last year's MasterChef winner) cookbook "Our Family Table". I watched Julie triumph in MasterChef and I was behind her all the way, she wasn't the most technical contestant nor the most inventive but she cooked food that I wanted to eat and above and beyond that she cooked with passion and warmth. In the last episode when she described her vision for he cookbook, I immediately knew two things (1) that she would win and (2) that I would buy her cookbook.

When her cookbook hit the shops, I was curious whether it would live up to her vision. I am so happy that I can say it does, her cookbook is everything she said it would be. It has taken pride of place in my kitchen. Julie has achieved something very rare - she has written a cookbook which you can sit down with a cup of tea and linger over, admiring the gorgeous photos and reading all about her friends, her family and of course her favourite food memories. You can then take that same cookbook and put it to use, it is as functional as it is beautiful with fabulous recipes including ridiculously cheesy lasagne, roasted lamb rump with garlic and rosemary, grandma's sponge cake and many more..

So where am I heading with all this, well I want to give Julie's book a big plug. This is a blog about managing stress and anxiety, it's not a blog about food - but when I was reading Julie's cook book it made me realise how therapeutic cooking and sharing food can be. And how we all have our own food memories and rituals.

In my family, my mother was a great cook. Every day when we got home from school, the table cloth would be put on the dining table, the china would be brought out and we would all sit down and have afternoon tea. This would involve drinking "real" tea from the pot, eating yummy baked goodies and sharing the stories from the day. At some point during my teenage years I was embarrassed about this ritual but now I look back on it very fondly.

I realise now that food and love are so closely entwined. Cooking for your friends and family shows them that you care. On that note, I am heading into the kitchen to try out another one of Julie's recipes. Thank you Julie for reminding me of the celebration that is sharing food with family and friends.

The Roller-coaster of Anxiety

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 08:42:00 +0000

Yesterday I had a staff strategic planning day for my work. Any kind of training day triggers my anxiety. I’m always scared of what the day might hold and my biggest fear is making a fool of myself and letting other people see how anxious I am. Yesterday I felt particularly on edge because I hadn’t prepared myself. I missed yoga during the week, hadn’t done any kind of relaxation or deep breathing and I didn’t give myself a positive pep talk.

I just let the day unfold and my anxiety definitely got a grip on me. One of the exercises involved picking a name out of a hat and writing three positive statements about that person. No problems – writing nice things about other people – piece of cake. The pieces of paper were then collected by the facilitator who went around the room handing back the pieces of paper with the comments on them so you could see what had been written about yourself. All this was fine, but when asked to read out these things to everyone and add two of your own – well then it got really hard for me. Standing up and sharing what other people thought of me was hard enough but adding two positive statements of my own, well that was terrifying.

I find it really hard to talk about myself, if I have to do a presentation I find it much easier to talk about other people. As soon as it gets personal I can feel myself burning up and I feel exposed and vulnerable. It’s a horrible feeling and my natural instinct is to want to run away and hide. I managed to do it though, I read out what had been written about me which was that I was friendly, open and have fresh young views. I then added to it but it just didn’t come out how I wanted it. I wanted it to be insightful and charismatic but I am sure I looked scared out of my wits. Some days I have to say my anxiety really gives me the shits. Most of the time I can just shake it off but yesterday I was so over it. I kept wishing that I could go to sleep and wake up without any anxious feelings.

Living with anxiety is such a roller-coaster, some days you really feel on top of it and some days can be very draining and challenging. Just like investment markets, anxiety goes through peaks and troughs. Learning more about your own unique cycle of of ups and downs is very powerful. If you get to know yourself better and can identify what your anxiety triggers are, you can better prepare yourself and actively manage your anxiety. No matter what your anxiety is, whether it's anxiety about driving, singing, travelling, shopping ... you need a plan - a plan for reducing anxiety and a plan for managing an anxiety attack should one occur. And over and above having a plan, you need determination and commitment to make managing your anxiety a way of life.

Is Gardening Good for the Soul? (Part 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 12:04:00 +0000

Quite a lot has happened in my garden since I wrote Is Gardening Good for the Soul (Part 1). My husband tidied up the back and front rockeries and I got busy planting - all sorts of plants: hibiscus, bougainvillea, pittosporum, hebe, rosemary, lavendar and some pansies and petunias. I have also started a veggie patch which contains broad beans, snap peas, spinach, rocket, spring onion, red onion and garlic. Exciting times. The weeds though, oh god, they never seem to stop sprouting. I'm winning the battle at the moment though :-)

So that brings me back to the question, is gardening good for the soul? Well you know what, at first I wasn't too sure, gardening isn't as easy as it looks. There's so much to do and it requires such a mix of skills: patience, strength, precision, problem solving, creativity, determination, vision ....

But once I got into it, something happened, it started to click with me. I began to understand why gardening is so popular, it's popular because it makes you feel good! It makes you feel good on so many levels. So here's my attempt to describe some of the benefits:

FRESH AIR - just being outside and feeling the sun on your back or the wind through your hair is amazing, especially if you are like me and spend a lot of time sitting at an office desk.
EXERCISE - gardening is a great work out - you work all sorts of muscles and without even realising, you are improving your strength, stamina, flexibility and co-ordination. And when you exercise you release endorphins, the happy hormones which helps to reduce stress and make you feel good.
DIET & NUTRITION - gardening makes you more appreciative of fresh and healthy produce and encourages you to eat fresh fruit and vegetables, even if you don't grow your own.
SLEEP - A good session of gardening is a great sleep enhancer, the combination of exercise and fresh air really sets you up for quality sleep.
RELAXATION - gardening is a great way to release agression and tension. It is often described as a form of meditation, as it allows you to put aside all your worries and stresses and just focus on the moment.
CREATIVITY - gardening is a great form of self expression, whether you prefer a dreamy cottage garden or a striking architectural courtyard garden - the creative opportunities are endless.
POSITIVITY & RESILIANCE - gardeners tend to be positive people that enjoy the moment but also look to the future with a sense of optimism and purpose. They also display great resilience and have the ability to bounce back and overcome obstacles.
SENSE OF ACHIEVEMENT - gardening is very rewarding, whether it be seeing your bulbs flower, watching a tree grow or eating some freshly grown veggies, there are many opportunities to feel proud and deeply satisfied.

So yes, in my opinion, gardening is good for the soul, well actually it is good for more than just your soul, it is good for every part of your being - regular time in your garden enhances your physical, mental and spiritual well-being. I am new to gardening but I can already see why it is so popular and why numersous studies have shown gardeners to be healthier and happier than non-gardeners.

Exposure Therapy - Facing Your Fears

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 12:12:00 +0000

I'm a big believer in facing your fears because generally your perception of whatever it is you fear is far more scary than the reality. In theory it makes sense but FEAR is terrifying, and the symptoms we experiencewhen we are scared are no picnic - nausea, sweat, heart palpitations, dizziness, disorientation.... Nobody wakes up and says "Today I want to feel sick to the stomach and paralysed by fear".

So how can we get past our fear. For me, one of my biggest fears is also one of the most common fears around - fear of public speaking. I fear speaking in front of a group of people and letting them see the real me. The reason I fear this - is because I am scared that they won't like me. Do you know what is ridiculous about this? It's not that I fear people not liking me, it's the fact that I actually think it is possible that everyone will like me. I know how stupid it is, but I still get anxious, so what can I do?

I've tried exposing myself to the thing that I fear and it doesn't help. However, I think I know where I have been going wrong. Instead of breaking down my fear and taking small steps I always go straight for the doozy and volunteer for a big presentation or something equally terrifying. When I do the presentation, the anxiety I experience freaks me out so much that I come out feeling defeated and it takes me another six months to get the guts up to try again. I totally lose confidence and momentum.

The key to exposure therapy is to break down your fear. Work out a series of steps that lead to your ultimate fear. So for example with public speaking, the steps might be something like this:

STEP 1: Practice a short presentation (say 3 minutes) on a topic of your choice infront of the mirror.
STEP 2: Give the presentation to a close friend or family member.
STEP 3: Give a longer presentation (say 10 minutes) to a close friend or family member.
STEP 4: Practice presenting to people that you feel slightly less comfortable with e.g. your work colleagues. Start by contributing more in meetings and discussions.
STEP 5: Give a short (e.g. 3 minutes) presentation to your colleagues.
STEP 6: Give a longer (e.g. 10 minutes) presentation to your colleagues.
STEP 7: Give a short (e.g. 3 minutes) presentation to management.
STEP 8: Give a longer (e.g. 10 minutes) presentation to management.

You can see how you gradually build your confidence and capability by taking small steps forward. You only move onto the next step when you feel comfortable with the step you are on. By doing this you build your confidence steadily and expand your comfort zone.
For me this makes sense, so rather than jump in the deep end, I am going back to basics and I am going to start at step 1 and practice a short presentation on "Why I started this Blog" infront of the mirror.
Exposure therapy can be used for many fears and phobias - fear of driving, fear of travelling, fear of gyms etc. All you do is chunk down your fear into small manageable steps and start at the beginning, without worrying too much about the end point, literally "take it one step at a time".

Yoga - An Anxiety and Stress Buster

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 02:13:00 +0000

As part of my strategy for coping with stress and anxiety, earlier this year I joined a yoga centre and have now been practising yoga regularly for the past three months. I have always had a fascination with yoga and have practiced it off and on for many years. Previously I have mainly experienced physical benefits, but this time it has really helped me to calm my mind, tune into my body and experience deep relaxation. I believe that this is because yoga is exactly what I need right now and because of this I have attracted the most fantastic yoga centre with wonderful teachers into my life. The teachers that I have been working with have encouraged and motivated me to pursue yoga as a way of life and to progress into more challenging postures and deeper states of relaxation.

I have learned that yoga is not just “exercise” it is so much more. The word “yoga” means “to unite or integrate” and it is an excellent description as yoga is about integrating physical, mental and spiritual energies to enhance health and well-being. This unity is achieved through the purposeful blend of postures, breathing exercises and meditation.

The benefits of yoga go way beyond the physical (improved flexibility, strength and stamina) and include release of muscular tension, increased body awareness, deeper more effective breathing and increased co-ordination between the mind and body. Yoga is very beneficial for anyone suffering from stress or anxiety as it provides an overall feeling of calm and well-being while providing specific techniques that can be used to manage stress and anxiety. For me it has become a key part of my overall strategy for stress and anxiety management but I do recognise that what works for one person may not necessarily work for someone else. I’d be very interested to hear other people’s experiences of yoga as a means for reducing stress and anxiety.

The Caffeine Challenge

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 02:34:00 +0000

Most experts on stress and anxiety recommend reducing caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant, it causes you to feel alert and awake and produces the same physiological response that is triggered by stress - increased sympathetic nervous system activity and a release of adrenalin. It also depletes vitamin B1 (thiamine), which is often referred to as an "anti-stress" vitamin.

For years, in anxious situations my instinct has been to reach for a cup of tea to calm my nerves, I didn't realise that the caffeine could be making me more tense and prone to an anxiety attack.

Cutting back on caffeine is by no means easy for me. I have a very deep association between tea and comfort, however, there is no way that drinking up to 8 cups or approximately 250mg of caffeine per day can be healthy. Dr Edmund J Bourne, author of The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook recommends reducing caffeine to 100mg per day.

So my Caffeine Challenge is to drink a maximum of 3 cups of tea and to drink more water (aiming for 2 litres per day).

Is Gardening Good for the Soul?

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 22:10:00 +0000

It's the Easter long weekend and here in Adelaide the weather is perfect. Sunny days and cool mornings and evenings. One of my 2010 resolutions is to give gardening a go. I like the idea of it, spending time in nature, watching the garden change with the seasons, helping plants flourish, learning new things all the time....

But, so far the reality has been a bit daunting. Digging out the dead plants in the existing garden proved more difficult than I thought. After a few attempts, it wasn't long before I was calling my husband's name. He reluctantly came to the rescue and while he was there I quickly suggested he trim the hedges because they are tall and let's face it trimming them is a pig of a job.

I have managed to do some weeding but at this stage I'm not sure that my soul is any better for it. Tomorrow begins the planting so maybe that's the part that is good for the soul?

Look Good & Feel Good This Winter

noreply@blogger.com (Laura Elliott) — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 06:04:00 +0000

Well it's March, can't help but feel good, it's my favourite time of the year. The weather couldn't be more perfect, plenty of sunny days with some welcome rain in-between. With temperatures still cracking 30 degrees it's hard to believe that winter is just around the corner.

As part of my plan to feel good this year, I've decided to get my winter wardrobe sorted early. It sounds superficial but for me looking good on the outside definitely makes me feel more confident and puts a spring in my step. Whether it be a new outfit, getting my hair done or toning up at the gym, looking after my physical self has a big impact on how I feel psychologically.

I don't know how many times I've left it too late to buy winter clothes and have ended up choosing unwisely from the mish mash of what's left at the end of the season. This year I am going to get it right, I figure with the Adelaide climate you get a lot of mileage out of your winter purchases. The cardigans I buy now, I have no doubt I'll still be wearing on chilly nights in December. Winter clothes are more expensive though, so in order to get maximum bang for my buck I've decided to do a little planning...

Here's my plan of attack

Work out what the key trends for the season are by reading magazines, looking at catalogues, surfing fashion websites and window shopping. I'm already loving what I am seeing - lots of layers, nautical influences, splashes of red and plenty of old favourites - skinny jeans, pencil skirts, trench coats etc.
Decide what trends I like and which suit my body shape and my lifestyle. For me, I like to have a fairly classic style with some modern trends thrown in. Jennifer Anisten is one of my favourite style icons but I also like Kate Moss, Jessica Alba & Sienna Miller.
Tidy out my wardrobe - argh. Donate any items that I haven't worn in the past two years or any items that I shouldn't have worn in the past two years to charity. There's a bat wing jumper in a hideous shade of green that is definitely getting the boot.
Pack away my summer clothes. So much easier to choose great outfits if you can actually see what you've got. Less really is more!
Have a look for any winter pieces that I already have which I can build on. I'm already thinking of the trench coat I bought last year which will really work with this year's trends.
Write a list of key pieces to pick up over the coming months. I've already got a few on my list - a cute blazer in either black or grey, some great ankle boots, a really smart pencil skirt, a couple of nautical inspired stripy tops and some floaty cardigans for layering.
And finally - with list handy - hit the shops and have fun buying clothes that make you feel good!

Happy Shopping x