PROJECT "I DO"

Guess who's back...

2013-01-14T02:51:00.000-08:00

It’s been a while since my last blog post. Lots of factors contributed to this though some reasons weigh in more than most...My top 5 reasons being:

1. December was a super busy month. Closing the year at work, planning of the traditional wedding ceremony (though Mr. Right carried most of this one), producing a super cool show, catching up with a diva who'd conquered Europe etc. Blogging kinda got pushed to the background *sigh*

2. Fatigue coupled with severe writer’s block. I would stare at my screen for ten minutes hoping that words would magically appear on the screen…they never did. Even when I chanted the words ‘I solemnly swear that I am up to no good’ and ‘I do believe in fairies’. Where are the magical blogging elves when you need them!

3. I had a few hits and misses in terms of my DIY projects over the December period and wasn’t sure which project to blog about. Case in point; decor for the traditional function. I had the idea of making roses from plastic spoons which I planned to float in water filled vases. Got the idea of the rose from here. Anywho, 30 minutes, a couple of burned fingers and candle wax stained table later I only had one rose to show for my effort. That idea was canned…The rose was pretty though.

4. I was starting to be a victim of my own success. People were reading the blog; loving it, sharing it…I was loving them for reading it and sharing it…Lots of love going round. Any writer or blogger knows how exciting it is to put your thoughts out there and have your stuff read/appreciated. But it started getting scary when I realized that for some people reading the blog = being invited to the wedding. When you are planning a wedding on a budget and limiting numbers to what you can afford it means your guest list is made up of actual friends and family. It was unnerving to realize that friends of friends, people I’ve talked to a total of 3 times in my life, someone I sat next to once in church, childhood bullies and curious onlookers were all planning to attend. I contemplated quitting the blog when I had a heart to heart with the Guru (full of wisdom that one). She helped me realize the whole reason I started the blog was to share DIY alternatives, period. I love DIY and I love sharing…so will keep doing it. For everyone who wont get an invite to the wedding, it’s not personal, it’s budget but there’s still love…continue to read and get some tips.

So now that my little intro is over, how about a little DIY? This is a simple one which I hinted at a couple of weeks ago ahem, that's a lie, a couple of months (time flies) ago. It is a nice alternative to traditional centrepieces.

What you’ll need:

· Twine/ thick string/yarn;

· PVA glue (aka white glue- refer to my previous post on the tools of trade);

· Scissors

· Empty bottle, tin can, glass jar etc- whatever it is you want to yarn. This is a great excuse to open a bottle of wine- it’s for a good cause J

It’s really straight forward, just follow the pictures.

Presto!

Some helpful Tips

1. Remove the labels on your bottles/tins/jars so they wont show through the spaces in the yarn. Don’t worry about getting the gum out though, it actually helps the yarn stick to the bottle.

2. Cut a piece of kitchen sponge to help apply the glue. It washes off your hands pretty easily but you can avoid the mess altogether.

3. Apply the glue on small areas at a time. If you smear the whole bottle, it will dry before you reach the bottom and you will have to reapply = wastage. Plus you won’t have a surface to hold while wrapping the string/yarn.

4. White glue dries clear but if you smear too much it might retain some of the white. If you have a hot glue gun this might be a great way to fasten the tail end of the yarn to the bottle versus what I did -applying lots of white glue at the end.

5. Take your time, especially on the curves because the yarn might begin to bunch up.

6. You can go over the bottle twice if you want to cover all the spaces completely. I don’t mind the spaces so much but If you do, that’s the quick solution.

My parting shot- the bottles once the glue is almost completely dry. Notice how there are very few white spots :-)

Cheers

DIY awaaaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!

Journeys in and around a wedding

2012-12-17T10:42:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, so its about time I finally contributed to this online scrapbook of thoughts and what-nots about weddings and the whole process. Just so we're clear, the bride is quite cool and i am in no way doing this under duress. I also do not have a gun pointed to my head and no, that is not rat poison about to be dumped into my meal. (but i am however blinking twice, i hope someone out there knows Morse code)

So given that this has taken a while to write/come up with, I just need to point out what I was told the remit of my post would not be about. I was warned, quite categorically, that the blog would not be about the following:

1. Why Mancini is the most overrated coach and how he would not improve a Stoke side
2. My contention that Vettel is not as good a driver as his 3 world titles may suggest (F1 is not as simple as who won, there is alot of stuff behind the scenes)
3. Why Kobe needs to retire, Yeah i Said it.

What this post will be about though is a number of quirks and oddities that I have noticed about both the Martian and Venutian races and a few tips about the wedding planning process.

a) Maybe, just maybe, there are more than the 7 colours in the rainbow or the 12 colours that came in my colouring set when I was a kid. How else would you explain 17 different names for the colour blue?
I've never understood and i'll probably never understand that. All blues look the same and if doesn't look blue, its probably cos its another colour altogether?

b) Never, and I repeat, never, go to a cake tasting session hungry. Your stomach will overpower your mind and proceed to play the tricks (that your mind is supposed to play on you) on you. Consequently, everything will taste the same, albeit the nice filling type of "same".

Example:
I was in a room with 4 ladies tasting cakes. This is how the conversation went
Lady 1: Wow, this cake is so nice and tangy
Lady 2: I want to taste that cake again just so I can enjoy the flavour
Lady 3: I know, right? Gosh, its so awesome
Me: Umm, this nice and all but wapi chai?

And they tried to convince me that cakes 1, 2 and 3 were different.

Of course I didn't say it then but in my head, my only thought was, I wish the chai or the soda would get here already. Cake bila beverage? Kwani I'm in a warzone? Jeez

c) HR Managers the world over should hire more men because we manage our time better.
Before I'm hauled up in front of FIDA on some trumped up charges, sample this: The gacugwa's wedding gown has been in production since November. My suit, ummmm, that's a 5minute conversation and maybe 10 minutes for the tailor to adjust my pants length.....I'm just saying.

d) Fighting is important. I know this sounds counter-intuitive but let's be honest, the divorce rate in Kenya is going up. And these are marriages less than 5 years old. Now people will break up for one reason or another but the wedding planning process is the perfect microcosm of a few of the big fights you will have

e.g Budgets (duh),
how many kids should you have (how many guests should you invite?)
When should you have aforementioned kids? (When should this fancy lunch when we shall host all these guests (read wedding) be held?

The typical scenario is that the guy just signs cheques and avoids the details but as the old saying goes, The Devil is in the detail, so if you don't take time to tackle the various manifestations of the Devil during the planning......

e) That said, the groom needs to accept that he's just a nice warm blooded prop (yeah, I just dissed Twilight, kula hiyo) meant to look nice in attire that shall complement the brides' colors for the day.
Other requirements of aforementioned prop: Smile alot, Dance (at the risk of death upon any non-compliance) and post the odd blog here and there about how other props should smile and dance :)

f) The groom should pay attention when the wedding colors are being discussed, cos if they don't, any attempt to ask AGAIN what the wedding colors are, shall be treated as an Act of War. And how bad an act of war? Well, let's just say it will make Japan bombing Pearl Harbour look like a playground fight. But if someone wants to take the bullet for this kind-hearted, gem of a man, please ask for me, what are the wedding colours?

g) No man is an island (umesikia Martha Karua?). Really. A wedding is a test of not only mental fortitude but also your networks, because ultimately, you will need help. And it doesn't matter if you believe you bestride the earth like a colossus, try doing this on your own and you're building yourself up to a ......COLOSSAL disaster. (I think i'm really funny and clever in my head, as you can tell).

h) If you're a guy about to get married, pick your groomsmen wisely. This is one of those decisions that you can't really take back and they can make/break your friendships. I won't go into detail on this right now, maybe in the distant future.

So the short of the long, I think Man United will retain the league this season cos we have Fergie, simple as that. Also, I hope we draw Celtic in the last 16 ties in the Champions league draw going down this Thursday. :)

More seriously though, when you're planning this one off event, talk and fight and get to know one another. That's the only advice any rational human being (you see what I did there?) can do, oh And for crying out loud, enjoy the process :)

J

Relationships, asking for help and a little DIY

2012-11-26T06:32:00.002-08:00

Planning a wedding forces you to stretch your resources. And I’m not just talking finances (though those will be thoroughly stretched, my wallet misses money *sigh*). You’ll also be stretched emotionally, physically (because of all the running around...but sadly in my case I've also stretched width-wise) and relationally, for lack of a better term. I'm pretty self-reliant and my biggest challenge in this whole wedding planning process is realising that I can’t go it alone… I actually have to RELY on people. Some people will let me down and some will go over and above anything I’d ask of them, but like it or not I have to let people in.

So for the woman who HATES asking for help, in this season of my life I find myself calling in a lot of favours/making several withdrawals in a lot of my relationship love banks. It’s been hard for me to do but I have been pleasantly surprised by how much people are willing to help. I’m glad I took the plunge and reached out. Thanks Girro, Dj Panda, Director Chrome Dome, the Village, Japanese Songbird, the pub formerly known as the Black Pearl and all other people who've taken up stuff/ agreed to be bullied/ volunteered to help out. You guys are AWESOME and I shall revenge appropriately.

That being said, today’s quick DIY is a gift/bribe for a group of people who are going to deal with a lot during this season…my bridesmaids. PS I made them agree to formal terms and conditions (wink wink Mad Genius); they are now contractually bound to love & accept me even if I’m infected by bridezilla-coccus; a viscous bacteria that for some reason commonly affects brides. Symptoms include mild panic attacks, the delusion that everything revolves around the patient, obsessions with colour schemes and emotional outbursts. They are also contractually bound to help me craft my various DIY projects- case in point the flowers they'll be helping me make.

Anywho, since we are meeting next weekend to craft things, I thought I’d give them a little…“I love you now get to work” present (you know I love you girls). It’s pretty simple; we did this with the 4H club yes 4H not 4K, and saw it recently on Pinterest. What we called wavy band back then I now find out is called rick-rack.
You can check out the tutorials that inspired this: thecraftingchicks prismrosedesigns and missfancypants.

What you’ll need

Rick-rack: found in a variety of colours and are very cheap. I got 7 meters for Kshs 150/= on Biashara street.
Felt- again you can buy a small roll for Kshs 150/= there is no point buying it by the metre that’s too much.
Scissors
Needle and thread/Hot glue/ fabric glue or if you have one, a sewing machine
Alligator clips- or any kind of hair clip you think can work3. I got these on the street for Kshs 50/=

Step 1

Interlock the rick-rack

Step 2

Glue/ stitch it in place so it doesn't move

PS steps 1 & 2 are optional, you can still make a flower with the rick-rack as is but I prefer how this one turns out.

Step 3

Cut out a felt circle slightly bigger than your alligator clip.

Step 4

Roll the glued/stitched rick-raw. You’ll begin to see the flower immediately. I dabbed a little hot glue between layers to secure it in place as an extra precaution. It will now kind of resemble a closed rose, so use your fingers to open out the outer edges.

Step 5

Glue your flower to the felt then glue your clip to the other side of the felt. You can also glue a safety pin and make it a brooch instead.

I added a fake leaf on some because the back looked pretty messy… mishaps with my glue gun.

And the final result…. Tada! (sorry I took these on my blackberry, didn't come out so clear, will try again and post new pics later)

Step 6

Get gorgeous model, let’s call her mum, to put one on and pose for you.

PS this is very easy to do, did 4 flowers in one episode of Castle…love that show! Then again I've loved Nathan Fillion since he did Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and would watch anything he's in.

It's a Shoe in

2012-11-12T02:49:00.000-08:00

So last week Wednesday I got a call from the lady making my dress asking me to go in for a fitting on Saturday. She asked me to carry the shoes I’d be wearing on the big day so that we could determine the right length of the dress.

Panic ensued seeing as I hadn't given much thought to my shoes (the horror!). I knew I wanted comfortable shoes, a low heel, something cute (that really narrows it down right?) but hadn't taken time to shop around. I should add at this point that I hate shoe shopping (mirror shatters and a French woman standing in the corner faints)…Sad but true. I've only really enjoyed it once when Mr. Right treated me to a spree. I have short wide feet and ladies shoes are designed on the premise that no girl in the world ever inherits her dad’s feet *sigh*. So I spent my Wednesday lunch break looking around and was reminded once again about my bitter rivalry with the shoe industry (a fierce war that has resulted in a lot of sore feet, broken heels, sweat and tears).

Girro, aka big sis, suggested I check out the wedges at Mr. P. Granted nothing in there looked remotely ‘weddingy’ but they were super comfortable and I spotted a pair at a great price (Kshs 1,600/=). I then got the brilliant idea (yeah all my ideas are brilliant, deal with it) to buy them then change them up to something more befitting the occasion. I'm a musical gal and had wanted either ruby-slipper inspired shoes (bring out the red glitter) or sparkly –silvery-Cinderella shoes (confessions of a girly musical-holic).

So welcome to an exciting episode of PIMP MY SHOES. (Do you think I could get Xzibit to endorse this post?).

What you’ll need:

Acrylic paint- they come in all kinds of colours, can be diluted in water but once dry become water resistant. I used fabric paint which is basically acrylic paint with a kind of binder that makes it better adapted for cloth). I couldn’t find silver L but bought a pearl white and pearl steel grey and think together I can make the colour I want. You can get these from Kshs 100-150 at Sciencescope, TBC, all those shops on Biashara Street that sell thread, buttons etc.
Paintbrush/sponge
masking tape
any kind of embellishment you want to add and fabric glue ( I added lace appliqué and diamante and used my trusty wood glue).

The fun thing about this is you can pimp out any shoes you have, wedding or no wedding. So how I did it…

I took off the bow on the front of the shoe (saved it because I decided to use it on the back instead).

Stuck masking tape on the parts I didn’t want t get paint on.

Applied my first layer of paint and left it to dry overnight. I used the pearl white on the outside of the shoe and a mix of the white and steel for the inner sole. Painted the bows the same colour as the inner sole.

I added another two more layers of paint (didn’t want the blue to show through) but with a darker colour you need less layers (e.g the steel grey hardly needed a second layer). Let the shoe dry before applying a new layer.

I then cut up some lace to get the flowers. You can buy a meter of this stuff for anything from Kshs 50/= to Kshs 750/= depending on the design you want in a store called Scooters on Biashara street. Or you can buy individual flower appliqués in Buttons& Bows at Yaya Centre. I got my meter of lace for Kshs 120/- and it has lots of flowers so I’m happy. I also got some blue bling (a pack is Kshs 75/=) to add on. These come in a variety of colours. I really wanted the clear bling but for some strange reason ended up picking the blue one. But I think it turned out nice. I smiled at the shop attendant and he threw in 2 butterflies for me, woop woop! Who says charm won’t get you far in life?

I applied the glue on the flowers/bling and stuck them on the shoe. You should probably plan the layout but I just went with the flow. I only did it on one side of the shoe, think it looks better that way.

I then stuck the bows I’d taken off the front (which are now painted silver) and stuck them on the back using my trusty hot glue gun…I’m sure you could stitch them on but that would be too much work J.

And there you have it…a pimped out shoe. Hardcore! Hehehe. It’s not the hottest shoe out there but I kinda like the idea of wearing a comfy custom-made shoe that is signature-me.

Still haven’t decided what to do with the sole/wedge. Either going to cover it with a silvery lace or silver glitter…only time will tell. But for now let me show you a fun way you can customise any shoe you have…I saw a sticker like this on a shoe and thought it was adorable. Decided to replicate it using glitter glue. You can get a bottle for Kshs 120/- at Sciencescope or TBC…and it can fulfil your something blue quota J

So my parting shot…

Paper Trail

2012-11-05T03:51:00.000-08:00

Flowers can be a major expense at your wedding and when I first saw how much they cost I wondered whether I want them at all. I get it, flowers are pretty...the colours, the smells, the bees...How can I NOT have them right?! But for some crazy reason I decided I don't want to be broke after the wedding so chose to let go of non-essential expenses and well...flowers were the first things to go. Say what?!

"But Acutie! What will you hold when walking down the isle?"

Great question, thanks for asking (you know you wanted to...inception) . It is one I asked myself as well and great minds...

Anyway, in theatre we are always substituting 'real things' with stage props that look like the real deal and I figured I could do the same thing at my wedding. So today I'm going to show you how you can make all the flowers you need at your wedding for less than Kshs 5000/= . The Magic word is.... Paper. (Ok I said the magic WORD and realised there are other words just as magical like fabric and buttons etc but it isn't as dramatic when you say magic words so let's stick to word for today)

Now before I begin I must put down some caveats:

This will take time- DIY brides who want to go this route, start early to avoid stress. The great thing about paper flowers is that you can make them then store away for months.
Get help. Once you get an assembly line going you can be done in no time. A huge chunk of my flowers are done thanks to the help of an incredible woman, let's call her Maua, who committed to make just 3 flowers for me everyday in October. She's amazing!
This will be a two part post because there are soooo many different types of flowers to make. Some super easy some difficult but if I put them all in one post it will go on FOREVER!

But you know what, as much as I have addressed would be brides, anyone can churn out a paper bouquet for their home. They are easy to make and would be a cool addition to any room or as fun accessories at parties e.g. I made these boutonnières/hair thingys for the choubobo's aka the Deeva's birthday from cupcake (ie queencake) papers.

SO what you will need:

Paper- and I'm talking anything, newspaper, old magazines with really cool people on the cover, serviettes, crepe paper, tissue paper, origami paper etc. You can get a pack of 5 tissue/crepe paper sheets from textbook centre for Kshs 100/=
Scissors
Glue (for some flowers)
Floral tape (unfortunately I have run out of mine but will buy some today and update the post with a pic. I get mine for 150/= at a floral boutique in the CBD near city market that's been around forever!). This stuff is VERY useful and makes your flowers stalks look realistic.
Wood skewers/ mshikaki sticks; (you can get a pack of 100 for Kshs 150/= or less in the supermarket. 100 skewers= 100 or 200 flowers depending on how long you want the stalk).
Floral/jewellery wire-optional (Kshs 200/= a roll)

So today i'll be making 4 types of flowers that are fairly simple.

Poppies- tissue paper- total time 8 mins

Trace and cut out circles from your crepe paper
fold paper in half then quarter and snip the corner (just a bit) to create hole in centre of the papers)
Roll piece of foil and place in centre of black crepe paper
Wrap black paper round wood skewer. Secure with floral tape or wire.
insert skewer through centre hole and secure with floral tape.

Peonies type 1/Pompom flower- tissue paper. Total time 5 minutes

Stack your paper and fold it accordion style. I did mine in a hurry and you can tell (shame on me). The neater your folds the better the look of the flower so take your time after all haraka haraka huharibu maua. I'm pretty sure it went something like that.
Fold your accordion in half and secure the centre with a little floral wire (you can staple it instead or use thread).
Cut the corners into either a triangle or a rounded edge (i did both but prefer the sharp edge).
Very carefully and GENTLY (tissue tears easily), separate the layers of the tissue paper from one another and begin pulling them apart. I put total time as 8 mins because of this part. Don't rush and be done in 5 minutes like me. You should take time froofing them (froofing is a highly technical term not present in most dictionaries due to its use in only highly sophisticated circles. Welcome to the club).
Once your flower is properly froofed, attach it to your skewer using the hanging floral wire/string and secure it with floral tape.

I realise my tutorial is over-simplified. For more details check out this tutorial from Martha Stewart It's for paper pompoms but picture the flower as half a pom pom :-)

Origami Kusudama flower- total time 10-15 mins
If you don't have a cool Japanese songbird who can send you origami paper from Japan, fear not! You can make these from any paper cut into 3" or 6" squares. Ok for this one the best thing is just follow the folds. It's a hard tutorial to describe in words.

Get a friend in Japan or find a piece of paper and cut it into a perfect square.
Get a pedicure so that any pics of your nails appearing in a tutorial look good and not...well like mine.
Fold in half- corner to corner, and crease firmly. A Triangle is formed.
With the open end facing away from you, take both bottom corners of the triangle and bring them up to the top-centre point forming a diamond on each side.
Fold the centre edges (both sides of the paper that meet in the middle of the diamond) in half to meet the outer edges, creating points that protrude from the diamond to the right and left sides.
Open these folds completely, and flatten then in the middle to form another diamond shape.
Bring the top points of your outer diamonds down into your fold tuck them into the back of the diamond.
Bring the edge folds together to meet in the middle- don’t fold to form a crease rather a rounded edge. Put glue on one side of the inner folds, and then hold them together (using pegs, paper clips etc) while it dries.
Once those are relatively dry, you can glue them one at a time to the wood skewer. I made four petals but this looks better with five.

I think that's it for today...happy crafting.

I should come up with a signature sign off like umm... To artistry and beyond! or until next time snip snip snip (sounds wrong). Ok how about until next time look around and find the artist within (profound? yes-no?). Ooooh how about bye guys! You know keep is simple...but what's signature about that? hmm... go ethnic Kwaheri Wasanii! This definitely needs work.

By the way my paper flower craze started when I saw this newspaper bouquet. Check out the tutorial here

Enjoy making the flowers.

Craft awaaaaaaay! - Yes?

Sorry for the Delay

2012-10-30T22:52:00.001-07:00

Soooo... I owe you guys a post...and an apology for not posting for over a week. Consistency is the name of the game! But like every good Kenyan I have a great excuse for my shortcoming, and someone to blame...Zuku! Yes Zuku, my internet provider, has let me down these past 3 nights. I get home and the network is down...tsk tsk. So I have not been able to post and also the dog ate my network cable...(too much? Let's stick to it's Zuku's fault!)

I got to the office early today and i'm typing this out quickly before official work hours begin so that I don't feel like I'm robbing my employer (Little Miss Responsible). If anyone is reading this from Zuku, please help! Your customer service keeps me on hold till my airtime runs out!

Anywho I promise to put something up really soon. Now to clean up the paper trail (ps that's a bad hint about what the next project is on).

On a very separate note how AWESOME was the Just a Band album launch! Sorry for the Delay is a great album...need to buy one (insert sheepish look...I know, shame on me for not already owning one...public flogging scheduled at 9).

Ps do you really think sheep look sheepish? Let's take a poll.

Emotional Rollercoaster...from YES!!! to Oh No!

2012-10-22T11:26:00.000-07:00

This post started of as the 'The Proposal'...and yes, it was going to be about how Mr. Right proposed (it was perfect by the way) and talk about cool ways people have proposed in the past... But it kinda took on a life of it's own. That might be influenced by the fact that today I went to the salon for the first time in over a month to 'treat' my hair and discovered I didn't have enough money for both the hair and my fair home (a fact I discovered only AFTER doing my hair). I have never been so grateful for the random coins I usually throw into my bag. Maybe it's also because the minute I got home I opened the wedding budget to input a new quotation and seeing the new grand total made me think my computer had a virus that was affecting the way my excel computed figures, or the fact that I upon adding the figures using a calculator I realised the computer virus was affecting my calculator as well and I started to wail like a traditional mourner. Why virus? Why!!? It may also have to do with the fact that my Zuku bill is due and these days parting with money almost feels like I'm giving away a kidney (ps can you hire those out temporarily? If yes, what's the going rate? Mild curiosity, that's all).

People, reality is the greatest boxer of all time! KO

On a very random tangent, want to share one of my fav Ali quotes. It was a failed attempt by Joe to trash Ali back after Ali had seriously dissed him. It went:

Joe - You know Mohammed, I saw your wife walking your kid about the other day. He's starting to look more and more like me.

Ali - You calling my boy ugly, Frazier?

Anywho back to life, back to reality. I want to share my emotional arc or rather the continuous emotional roller-coaster planning a wedding takes you through. Planning a wedding can be very exciting, there's the whole I'm excited I'm marrying my best friend, pretty clothes, shiny jewellery, makeovers...but there's also the bills, expectations coming from all corners of the world, family dramas, weird fights with the fiancé (who knew we'd ever have a tiff about colours). My advise to all my fellow brides- stay focussed on the why you are doing this. At the end of the day I just want to be married to Mr. Right, everything else is just the side show.

So onto the emotional roller-coaster...I'm going to attempt to do this in one paragraph (sorry Grammar Nazis!).

Oh My God! This is happening, he's proposing! Quick what do I say? What do you mean what do I say? You've been waiting for this for months now! Yeah but what's the word, the one that means I agree..I Know it starts with a Y...Yolk? No that's not it. Oh my God he's staring at me! Why is he looking at me like that? Oh wait, he's waiting for an answer! He has such nice eyes. This is sooo cool! Must tell the Deeva, Girro, Miss Canada, Giggles, Mad Genius, Doc, DHL, Japanese songbird oh yes and the Shepherdess wait Yes!!! The word is YES!!!! Yes I'll marry you! This is so exciting, must tell everyone! Didn't expect the folks to freak out like that, but it's ok they'll get over it. Let's set a date. September? too soon. I like Nov...that doesn't work for Mr. Right. Ok let's do Dec= bad for family member A, maybe Jan? We'll all be broke. Feb? Family member B might mind. March? During elections! Are you nuts!? April? Travel plans, May? The rain. June? The cold. July? More cold. August? That's more than a year away! Back to the beginning. Date set, start planning, how much does this cost? What!!? Yeah I know oil prices have gone up but what does that have to do with hiring a venue? You must have this at your wedding and that at your wedding and oh cute puppies! Is it worth all this drama? Date with Mr. Right, bliss...this is why I want to marry him. Call from caterer, price of potatoes have gone up so has quotation. Why didn't I get married in 2009? Dowry negotiations, How much?! I'm eloping!... Ok fine I'm not eloping. Mr. right do you still want to do this? Ok we are back on track! I'm on it like MPs on a salary increment! Oh that dress is so pretty. I need to lose weight to fit into it. Damn I look hot! I'm hideous! I'm so lucky! Why is this happening to me? What would Martha do? Sister pep talk, I'm good to go...or am I? Trip to the salon, bliss, no money for transport home, not bliss. Tomorrow meeting to discuss wedding Ndendendende....

The End

You CAN do it!

2012-10-19T06:43:00.000-07:00

So before you start saying this blog is not for me, “she was talking about G-clamps in her previous post for heaven’s sake!” take a moment and ponder on this…we studied glaciation in high school. Some of you know more than is reasonably required of a person living in the tropics about glacial periods and melting ice caps. Don’t you feel better for it? No? Well it was a long shot…can’t blame a girl for trying. But maybe you should keep reading simply to better yourself by learning something new with the hope that one day the knowledge that wood glue dries clear will be of use to you or at least make you sound well informed in some random conversation. I once had a conversation about the difference between bantus, nilotes and cushites with a South African and sounded like a genius.

So yesterday I promised to post a DIY project but the gods conspired against me! I got home, got crafting was in my happy place then...Kenya Power struck! Luckily the power wasn't out for long but then my phone went haywire so the flash decided when it would work and wouldn't work (luckily this is not a photography blog but forgive the hazy pics) and worse yet...my net was down. So this is being posted today evening instead of last night.

Anywho this was meant to be the first actual DIY post so let me get on with it. This post is to prove to you that anyone CAN craft. Yes I know hinting is lame but as you probably correctly guessed this has something to do with cans. Tin cans are a classic example of things that can be converted from trash to treasure.

Stuff you’ll need

1. Used tin can (tomato paste/ Pringles container/nido can etc)

2. Scissors

3. Patterned paper/ fabric or string. I bought wrapping paper for Kshs 30/= from Nakumatt.

4. Wood glue

5. Small piece of sponge for applying wood glue

6. cellotape or decorative tape if you have some- I must confess that I have a random selection of Martha Stewart decorative craft tape I ordered online. I know what you're thinking...this should contain stuff people can get here. Don't panic, patterned tape is available locally from time to time at TBC (Textbook Centre) but cellotape will do just fine.

7. measuring tape- though you can wing it

8. (Spray paint, string/wool, glue gun and mask) optional in case you opt for the bonus stuff

Let’s get started. This craft was inspired by another blog check it here. I was looking for DIY alternatives to vases for my centrepieces and this seemed like a nice cheap alternative to hiring glass vases. I didn't settle on them in the end but they may feature in other areas in the wedding. Who knows?

Step 1- Clean the can- Hopefully you’ve just enjoyed some nyummy Kenylon beans (yes I know they are called baked beans but next you’ll expect me to say margarine instead of Blueband). Anyway clean it up good, take out any label etc. In my case some the label was printed on the actual can but that doesn't matter.

Step 2- Measure the circumference and height of the tin. Cut a piece of paper/fabric; make one side roughly an inch longer than the circumference of the tin and the other side should measure the height of the tin. (Not confusing at all right?)

Step 3. Either

ü Apply a thin layer of wood glue on the surface of the tin, let dry for a minute then carefully wrap the paper/fabric around it ;

ü Spray a thin layer of spray adhesive onto the paper. (ps spray adhesive works really well on this because the paper doesn't dampen. With wood glue the paper dampens a bit and if you are not careful you’ll get creases. Con of spray adhesive is that it’s kinda pricy, cheapest being around Kshs 1,250/= at the hardware store in Yaya Centre-trust me I shopped around! Wood glue does the trick so no pressure.);

ü Stick the decorative tape on the edge of the paper. The tape should be longer than the paper so that ideally you have tape sticking out of both ends of the paper. If you opt for this then the side of the paper that measures to the height of the tin should be cut down by around half a centimetre.

Step 4- Wrap the paper./fabric round the tin can. Do this carefully to avoid creases or the paper wrapping unevenly. Although the ribbing of the can showing through is not a problem and if you use wood glue it will definitely show through. I think it adds character to the finished piece. (Sorry at this point the flash in my camera-phone stopped working....yes blackberry haters, take a shot! You know you want to.)

Voila! Your transformed tin can! You now have a crafted a cool vase/pen holder/ candle votive/tool tin etc. I threw in some paper flowers into the vases and sat back and admired my handiwork. (pardon the messy table)

Step 4 (bonus stuff)

I think it already looks cool as is but as a bonus you could:

ü Spray paint the inside of the vase gold (should do so before sticking the paper/fabric). Or simply spray paint the can (no paper/fabric), it looks good like this as well. This works really well for a candle holder. You can puncture holes in the side to make it a Mexican lantern.

ü Wrap some yarn/string round it (I love yarn wrapped anything and everything! More on this later). I did this in a hurry before running out so it can look way waaaay better (was very late to meet some very cool pips, let's call them the Mafia, who I meet every Thursday).

ü If you are super glam like one of my girlfriends, let’s call her Doc, glitter is always welcome.

ü Punch really small holes on the bottom of the tin, place in some soil and convert into a flowerpot. (I'll show you how to do that on some other day).

And here's my parting shot

On a random side note, a pal of mine, lets call her Japanese songbird, mentioned that the Mr. Right and Acutie sign off pic kinda looks like askew boobs... Now that's all you can see right? So until next week...sayonara :-D

Jembe lako liko wapi?

2012-10-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

If you attended a Kenyan school or even went to Sunday school in Kenya you have probably heard some variation of this line:

“Coming to class/church without your pencil/bible is like a farmer going to dig without his jembe_*”

I was always tempted to put up my hand and ask “What if the farmer has a tractor?” But that would probably have landed me a punishment for insolence (insolence in school meant asking a question that a teacher didn't know the answer to or one that nullified a point they were trying to make. I should add it’s a word I learnt pretty early in life for reasons I need not explain). So I never asked my question and anyway it would have been beside the point. The Point off course not being that farming in Kenya is in need of modernisation but that in order to do a job you need to carry your tools.

So I figured that before I show you some nifty DIY projects I should probably list the jembes/must have items of any crafter. Don’t worry all these items need not be acquired at a go; you may even already own a few tools. Also improvisation is key in our context, you don’t have a clamp= sad but do you have a pile of books or a heavy object you can place on items to stick them together?= #win

Anywho, if you check out many DIY blogs of people living abroad they will mention an array of items that are either not available locally or are known by a different name. E.g. many crafters LOVE burlap and it features heavily in many DIY projects…Burlap in kenyaspeak is gunia. But let me stop rambling and get listing.

No 1 tool of trade….drum roll please

Scissors- good for cutting stuff up with (duh), sometimes act as impromptu tongs/pincers, pliers, hammer, screw drivers you name it. A good scissor is like a ummm (will think of something deep and update this blog entry later). You can get a good pair of scissors in Kenya for anything from Kshs 85/= in Office Mart to Kshs 1800/= in upmarket stores. The one for Kshs 1800/= must be like an automated, telepathic, super-robot, singing pair or something. My advise don’t go too cheap because those might break in a day but there’s no need to break the bank either.

No 2 tool of trade is technically not a tool. If y’all remember what you learnt in woodwork, there is difference between tools and materials; a tool is supposedly not consumable whereas materials get used up. But since writing this blog is like writing my own textbook I’ll call whatever I want a tool.

So No 2 tool is glue…and not just any glue, Wood glue alias PVA glue. Yes you read right. Anyone who took art in high school can tell you this is the King in the craft glue world. It’s white and thick, washes off hands/clothes but sticks things together good and the best part- it dries clear. That is, when dry it’s see-through and colourless, sometimes a bit glossy but that’s not a negative. Wood glue is also cheap and lasts forever- you can buy it from Kshs 100/= in any hardware store or hardware section in most supermarkets. As you can see you can get some in Nakumatt for Kshs 125/=. The price varies off course depending off course the location of the store, size you opt for and the brand.

safety goggles- I use my swimming goggles- improv is the name of the game. To me a must have when working with certain aerosals eg spray adhesive or stuff that could irritate your eyes.

face mask- They sell for Kshs 15/= to 30/= in hardware stores and come in handy when you’re doing your Bane impersonation…not that I do that or anything. (I love you batman). You’ll really appreciate a mask when working with spray paint, at least my lungs do and they show me their appreciation by continuing to work. Hurray lungs!

Kitchen Sponge- Good for cleaning up messes (which you’ll definitely create), applying glue/paint and as a placemat for your cup of tea. Kshs 60/= if you buy the singles.

Rubber gloves- These are very handy when dealing with glue, paint, glitter, food colour. I presume you do want to have a life outside crafting…don’t you? Walking around with bright blue fingers doesn’t help that. I got my standard issue kitchen gloves for Kshs 70/= at Uchumi but that was a while back. So far the cheapest brand I've seen now is Kshs120/= . With gloves thee are many options so you can probably get a better deal. The gloves that come in the retouch kit? I know Nakumatt used to have a box of gloves (the kind used in hospitals) and you could buy per pair for less than a hundred (will confirm price).

Needle and Thread- Before you turn away in disgust and lecture me on how we went to Beijing so that women everywhere would never have to use these tools of oppression again, let me just say two words to you…Man Bag. We live in a world where men have cooler fashion accessories than us and in many cases are better groomed. I think my needle and thread balances out the chaos.

And if you are like aaargh I gave up home science so that I would never have to do a back-stitch again…to you I say the time has come for you to let go of the past and face your fears! How long can you run? Let the reconciliation begin…I’m here for you…needles are our friends (and that statement should not in any way be taken as an endorsement for drug abuse).

Hot glue gun- I got mine plus the glue pellets from Amazon for the equivalent of Kshs 850 /= see link here. But I know they must be available locally because I’ve seen them with tailors and the people who do appliqué on table cloths etc. (I'll be on the lookout for where and how much) It’s soooooooooooooooooooooo handy!!! But don’t worry I’ll always show you an alternative to it. And people, even though it's fun to fire up the gun, glue guns are NOT toys...when plugged in that is, if not on they are pretty handy for walking round the house feeling all Lone Ranger-y (not that I do that either).

Stuff you should have that I don’t (but really wish I had)- Pliers, clamp (yes remember the trusty g-clamp), small saw, drill, screw drivers and a tool shed (for crafting and not for hiding bodies). Actually I feel like I just described a good Swiss army knife (except for the tool shed part).

Random tip- visit the Mia Moja stores- you know the ones that sell everything for Kshs 100/=. I got a cool set of staedtler knives, a solid paint brush and other random craft tools there for 100 bob. And so far they are still working well woop woop.

I think that’s it. We can get crating! I’m going to put up a second post today with a simple craft that uses most/if not all the tools I listed above. Realise a DIY blog should have at least one DIY project posted on there to start with. So coming soon…ie tonight.

*Jembe; Swahili for hoe.

The Beginning

2012-10-16T04:38:00.002-07:00

I once watched a movie where the main character, an author, was having trouble starting his book. His dilemma stemmed from the fact that so many other authors had set such a high bar as far as beginnings go that he felt he couldn't compare.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”

"In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth”

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”

“Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the riverbank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, 'and what is the use of a book', thought Alice, 'without pictures or conversation?”

“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small, unregarded yellow sun.”

“Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”

Ok I got carried away quoting some of my favourite opening lines in books but you get the point. The start of something sets the tone. It lets you know whether you are in for a fun adventure or about to embark on a grey's anatomy-esque cry fest. (PS I'm convinced that the writers of Grey's anatomy meet in a grey building in a windlowless room with grey walls and conjure up ways to get audiences depressed and crying in 30 minutes or less. In every meeting the number one question on their minds is- "How do we get them to drown in a pool of their own tears?").

Sorry again I digress; let me get back on course. What was I saying? Oh yes, beginnings! So I completely get what that author in that movie (can't remember the name) was feeling. I wanted to start this blog with uumph, show that i'm silly and geeky but intelligent and well-read without coming off as stuck up or like I take myself too seriously and all the while trying to avoid sounding ditsy or shallow. Easy…right? *sigh*

So I decided to begin by writing about writing my beginning...Clever? No...yes? Love me?!

Anywho, this blog was initially thought up by my fiancé, an actuary and self-proclaimed math geek, who for all intents and purposes shall herein be referred to as Mr. Right. He wanted us to write a blog together about the whole wedding planning process in Kenya and the madness of what happens when traditional culture meets modern day realities. I got all excited about it and I was on the idea faster than a weave on Tyra! Already had the various topics we would cover, put up the blog the very next day etc... As you can probably tell this story arc does not have a happy ending. Scheduling conflicts, everyday busyness and oh yeah, the fact that Mr. Right kinda didn't think I'd take his off-hand idea so seriously (does this guy know me?!) means the blog had an early funeral (it didn't even see death coming, the poor thing). But my readers will be happy to know the funeral was beautiful, Mr. Right even said a few touching words...it was nice.

Life moved on as did the wedding planning…C'est la vie. Because of the expense of planning a wedding I've taken on very many DIY projects. Now don't feel sorry for me; It's fun, I love doing artsy things and it saves me money doing things myself so hurray! I was sharing some of these projects with my friend who lives abroad, let's call her Mad Genius, and she suggested that I start a blog about the crafts I'm making.

"DIY is big business here in the States and you could be like the Kenyan Martha Stewart". Mad Genius

First of all I LOVE MARTHA. I think I need to say that out loud so all of y'all reading this would understand why her statement got me all excited. Secondly being the Kenyan Martha Stewart is a life long dream I didn’t even know I had. I mean the minute she put those words together ie Kenyan and Martha Stewart something clicked in my brain and I was like I didn't even know I wanted that but I want it so bad! It’s destiny...I was born to hold that title! In the movie adaptation of my life, this moment will have a chorus of angels singing off screen, a montage of happy childhood memories and a CGI animation merging Martha's body to my head. Too much? Mr. Right says I sometimes come off as too intense, let me know if I ever start freaking you out, and no I didn't forget to take my medication...today...I think... Thirdly if writing about saving money by having DIY elements in your wedding can save me money by making me some money then all the power to it! You dig?

Anyway, so that's the 4-1-1 on the beginning of this blog. Stay tuned or ummm log on...subscribe? Subscribe sounds about right. Yeah do it like that, you know mama likes it all arts & crafty! Ok now it's getting weird. I'll STOP.