December is the twelfth and final month of the year and comes from the word decem, meaning ten as it was originally the tenth month of the year in the old Roman calendar. Given that it is the last month of the year, I thought this would be a good opportunity to get you ready for next year. It’s a chance to set some goals. These can come in the form of New Year’s resolutions if you like. I hope you achieved those resolutions you set yourself for this year. If not, hopefully the following will assist your chances of success next year.

Choose your goals. So what’s your New Year’s resolution going to be? Write it down so you are clear on what you want to achieve next year. It should be very specific. Vague goals will be difficult to achieve as you will not have a clear idea of what you want to do. ‘Lose weight’ is a typically vague goal. How much exactly do you want to lose? It should also be realistic. Be optimistic yes, but don’t over-reach.

You could make your goals fun for a change. You don’t always have to give something up when making a New Year’s resolution. It could be to do more of something, or an opportunity to experience or learn something new.

Make sure it is within your capability to achieve your chosen goal. It is okay to start on a smaller goal and then build on this success. This is particularly relevant to exercise goals where it’s easy to want to run before you can power walk. You decide it’s too hard or worse, get injured and give up. Small gains over time lead to great accomplishments.

Don’t try and do too much. It’s very easy to come up with a long list of things you want to change or achieve in a year. The trouble is you may not have the time and energy to do them all and your willpower may just not be up to the challenge. Choose the one thing that’s the most important to you. Once this goal is achieved you can always move on to your next goal.

Set a deadline for your goal, but don’t be afraid to change it if you don’t think you will make it in time. A deadline serves as something to aim for and is not set in stone. If you find you do keep moving the deadline however, can you think of any changes you can make that will help ensure success?

Write down the actual steps you will need to take to fulfil your New Year’s resolution. Is there anything you need to purchase to help you with your goal? You’ve decided to learn to play the saxophone. This will require a saxophone at the very least. Are you going to teach yourself or get lessons? Either way you will need to get hold of some books or teacher. Write it all down, with a realistic guide of when you are going to do each step. The ‘getting the saxaphone’ may seem obvious, but it is these steps that turn our goals from just dreams into reality.

When are you going to start your resolution? It does not have to be January 1^st and it may not even be feasible. A resolution to go to the gym from the 1^st and then it turns out the gym is shut could be an easy way for you to give up. Set a realistic date that works for you and stick to it.  You could even start it sooner if you like. There’s no rule about when to start on a goal.

Be honest with yourself. How is the goal going to fit into your lifestyle and even your personality? You know you are not an early riser so resolving to get up at 5am to go for a run probably won’t work for you. There’s no need to add extra challenges to your resolutions.

Make sure nothing can get in the way of your chosen goal. This could be your own behaviour, your environment or the actions of others. Perhaps you intend to quit smoking. Think about who might want to discourage your attempts because they smoke themselves and are intent on sabotaging your efforts. How will you manage that person?

Keep a record of your progress and include how you felt after each small achievement. Let this be a reminder for you on days when you are tempted to give up.

Imagine how it feels to have accomplished your goal. You may like to draw a picture and then put it someplace safe to get out whenever you need some motivation.

A slip up is not a failure. Instead, use it as a learning opportunity. What can you do differently next time? If you can recognise this it will allow you to resume your goal the very next day.

Finally, list your reasons why this year you are going to accomplish your New Year’s resolution. Brainstorm as many ideas as possible. When you think you cannot come up with anymore, keep going. Look deep within and draw on past successes, your support network, your own strengths. Keep this list as a reminder that with all these reasons for success, there’s no need to fail.

To your success!

More goal related articles

http://makethechange.com.au/category/articles/goals-articles/

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.

November is the eleventh month of the year, but its name comes from novem, meaning nine as it was originally the ninth month of the year. As we approach the end of the year, we enter the holiday season. Generally this means time spent with family, as well as organising events whether large or small. So this month we will spend time ensuring you are prepared fully to deal with what can be a difficult time mentally. What follows are a number of ideas that are relevant now, but hopefully may come on useful for the rest of the year.

Have realistic expectations of what lies ahead. It’s easy when thinking about family gatherings to conveniently forget about what it’s really like and turn it into something perfect. Family members are civilised at all times, nobody has too much to drink, nothing goes wrong. However, with a good idea of what your family are really like, you won’t end up disappointed. So don’t expect people to change and don’t fret if things go wrong. In the grand scheme of things are burnt roast potatoes a good reason to get depressed?

Take control where you can and make your own decisions. You are an adult now with your own obligations. When you are faced with deciding how to manage family meet-ups it’s easy to forget this. If you are struggling to work out which family you will be visiting when, remember you need to do what works for you. Sit down with your partner and discuss a workable solution that doesn’t put you under too much stress. Once you have decided stick to it. Don’t become a victim of guilt or emotional blackmail. It is very difficult to please everybody, so probably not worth trying.

KISS. Keep it simple, stupid. Not that I’m calling you stupid, but I do want you to keep it simple. The more complicated you make things, the more stressed you will be and the more likely things will go wrong. Only do what you can manage in terms of time and money. Remember there are no rules, and I’ll repeat again: you cannot please everybody.

Kiss. When you get a chance, give your loved ones a kiss. If you are feeling harassed and not very ‘holiday spirit’, pause from your hectic surroundings and give your partner a hug.

Don’t cling on to old traditions that may no longer work as things have changed in your life. Create new ones that you can share with your nearest and dearest and that are a new source of joy for you.

Lighten up and laugh when you can. It is supposed to be a holiday after all. If you are visiting family, maybe take a comedy DVD along that you know everybody will like. If you see tensions rising, put it on, hand out the chocolates and hopefully the situation will be diffused. Remember, laughter is infectious, so it’s worth a try right?

Keep a check on your thoughts. If things aren’t going so well, it’s easy to believe it will never end. This isn’t true and you are adding to the stress with this type of thinking. Knowing things will improve at some point will help ease the burden and hopefully give you a new perspective.

Promise yourself a treat at the end of it and know what that treat will be. Let it be something indulgent just for yourself. Congratulations, you got through it in one piece!

If you’re going to be alone over the holidays, have a relaxation plan in place. Decide how you will spend your days. You have full control here! Before the event, make a list of all the things you’ve been wanting to do throughout the year but haven’t had time to do. Then use this time to indulge yourself. If you feel you want social contact, don’t hesitate to phone a friend or family member. You may even like to volunteer at this time. It’s easy to think unrealistically about what the world is doing – conflict free family gatherings that you aren’t a part of. This won’t be true. You may also think you are the only one alone. You won’t be.

Happy holidays wherever you are and whatever you are doing!

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.

October is the tenth month of the year and is from the word octo, meaning eight as it was originally the eighth month of the year in the old Roman calendar. World Mental Health Day takes place this month, its aim being to promote good mental wellbeing and to highlight important issues that need addressing. To support this, I will offer you ideas to keep your own mental health in check. In Australia Stress Less Day is this month and offers us all an opportunity to remember the importance of keeping our stress under control. On the first of October, the International Day of Older Persons is observed. Here’s your opportunity to ensure the happiness and wellbeing of older people.

Tips for good mental health

Take a look at the following ideas to help you give a boost to your own mental health. Do what you can to ensure you are in tip top condition, and then you are in a great position to promote mental health to the people you know.

Become an optimist. Research supports the idea that an optimist will be less likely to suffer from depression, take control of their life and health and bounce back sooner. Optimism is about not giving up when the going gets tough. Yet when the going is good, having optimism means you expect the good to continue. It is about having hope and always believing things will improve. Being an optimist puts you in a good position to deal with situations in your life and to handle life’s difficulties generally. You can learn a lot more about optimism through Martin Seligman’s book Learned Optimism.

Life isn’t always easy and even the happiest person is faced with challenges. However, it can be made a lot easier with good support around you. Think of the different sources of support in your life and the circumstances in which you would turn to them. Also, think beyond friends LINK and family – professional agencies play a vital role and it is what they are set up for. Don’t be afraid to use them.

Do something different to get out of any rut you are in. What can you do to mix things up at work? How can you vary your day? If you feel your life has become routine, it can make life seem boring. Taking a few steps to keep things varied will give you a boost. Try a new recipe, take a different route to work, or turn the TV off for an evening and play games with your family. All simple actions that will hopefully re-energise you.

Look after your body and you’ll see good improvements to your mind also. Eat healthily, don’t smoke and drink alcohol in moderation. Take regular exercise.

Also, take the opportunity to learn about different mental health disorders. Then take what you have learned and pass it on to others. http://www.who.int/topics/mental_health/en/index.html is a good place to start. Spread the facts and do away with the fiction.

Stress less

Stress Less Day ties in very nicely with World Mental Health Day and offers you another opportunity to think about your life and tweak it to help prevent your stress levels getting out of control. In fact the above tips have already gotten you started, so I’ll add a few more here for further motivation.

Know that it is okay to make mistakes and when you do, own up to them. You’ll save yourself a lot of hassle by not getting moody and defensive and other people will appreciate it. You’ll also be a good role model.

Know that you cannot control or change other people. That slow driver going way below the speed limit, your partner’s computer game habit, your manager’s angry outbursts. You can however change how you think about them, saving yourself a lot of stress.

Feeling the stress build up? Take a few seconds to do some deep breathing. Breathe slowly in through the nose then out through the mouth. Keep going until you feel calm.

Finish up that task that’s been hanging on for far too long. Get it done and you can finally forget all about it, putting an end to that nagging worry.

Spend time with your pet. Pets have been known to reduce stress, so take time out with yours today.

Respect your elders

Since it is International Day of Older Persons on the first of this month, I thought it was a good time to suggest we finally put an end to those ‘sweet old lady stereotypes’. We live in a society where we seem to patronise the old in the same way we often do the young. Older people seem to be put on the scrap heap once they retire, or frowned upon if they keep going. True, some older people need our support, but they are not blank slates. They have a lifetime of experience behind them. How do you know that the sweet old lady sat on the bus is in fact sweet? In her working life she may have tyrannised her co-workers.  Others don’t need our support and are fully capable of making decisions. So don’t go making decisions for them.

If we want the world to be a happier place, then try to treat others with respect no matter their age. You could also carry out an act of kindness. So make time this month to help out an older person who can no longer easily do certain activities. Use this time to listen to their stories and experiences.

Going forwards, if you find yourself instinctively negating older people, reflect on how you would like to be treated as a senior member of society. Make an effort to treat every senior you meet in the same way you hope to be.

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.

September is the ninth month of the year, yet is named after the word septem, meaning seven as it was originally the seventh month of the year in the Roman calendar. This month a new season begins, whether it is spring in the southern hemisphere or autumn for the north.

This month we will consider the impact your thoughts have on your life. This is in recognition of Albert Ellis who was born on the 27^th September. Albert Ellis was a psychologist who devised Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, and his work impacted on many people around the world. He died in 2007 at the age of 93. He worked his entire life and wrote 80 books and over 1200 articles. This brings us on to the second theme of learning, as this month it is Adult Learners’ Week in Australia. Finally I will discuss ways you can take control of your health, as World Heart Day takes place this month.

Consider your thoughts

Your thinking can have a great impact on your behaviour and emotions. Not all thoughts make much sense and Albert Ellis would describe them as irrational. Irrational thinking is thinking that essentially makes little logical sense, or fails to stand up to the evidence. ‘Bad things always happen to me’, ‘I must not fail’ are examples of irrational thinking. However these thoughts can be changed, as you come to recognise them as irrational and replace them with more realistic ones. From here, you will have more positive emotions and feel more in control of your behaviour. There is a lot that could be said about your thought patterns but for now I will offer you ideas to help you identify and change your own thoughts.

1 Write down a current worry of yours. Give the details. Try to describe the situation as much as possible.

2 What thoughts and beliefs do you have when thinking about your current concern?

3 How do you feel as a result of these thoughts? How do you behave?

This is where we pause to help you recognise that it is your thoughts, not the situation that is leading you to feel and behave as you do.

4 Looking at your response to 2, ask yourself honestly how rational these thoughts are. Is there good evidence to support these thoughts? Are you thinking in all or nothing terms? Perhaps giving too much focus on the negative and ignoring the positive? Look out for words such as ‘always’, ‘never’, ‘must.

5 Challenge these thoughts. Write down what is actually true about the situation, even if you don’t fully believe them right now. Perhaps think about what a friend or stranger would say about your thoughts.

6 Replace your old beliefs identified in 2 with new, more rational beliefs. This may take effort, but once you recognise them you will feel a lot happier.

7 Write down the positive consequences of your new beliefs.

8 To reinforce your new beliefs, you will need to take action to prove they are true. What steps will you take to support your new thoughts?

This is a concise version of Ellis’ work, but hopefully enough to get you thinking about thinking.

Read more
I have a whole chapter dedicated to understanding your thought patterns in my book Promoting Happiness. There are also activities throughout to help you recognise the impact of your thoughts on different areas of your life.

Get learning

It’s easy to give up on the idea of learning once you leave school. If you disliked school, you may think that you dislike learning also. However, as adults we can choose what we learn and the skills we want to develop. Even retirement should be an opportunity to try new things rather than letting it all go because you are no longer doing paid work. Recognising that learning is not just about books or something to be endured, can make the process enjoyable for many.

If you make learning part of your life, you are sure to see the benefits. Not just in your increased skills and knowledge but in your overall happiness. Working on an important goal and coming up with solutions to potential hurdles getting in the way of your goal can be inspiring. Not only do you learn more about the task you are trying to achieve, but also things about yourself. Also, when you are learning you are giving yourself the opportunity to experience flow. A flow experience is best described as one of those moments when you are so absorbed in an activity that everything else goes unnoticed. Yet afterwards you feel great.

So give learning a go, no matter how old you are. It could be something completely new or an opportunity to expand on an existing skill or interest.

Have a healthy heart

Did you know that 80% of premature heart attacks and strokes are preventable? That’s a lot! This means there are things you can do to improve your health and wellbeing and reduce your risk. Such changes will also give you the energy to do the things you want to be doing, allowing you to have a happy balanced life.

I know it’s easy to wonder why you should change, you’re happy as you are. I do wonder how happy you would be lying in a hospital bed having just survived a heart attack at an early age. Or worse, how happy your family will feel knowing they lost you too soon. But you only live once right? True, but don’t you want to make sure you really do live it, having the energy to get the most from your one life?

What follows are tips to a happy heart. Remember it’s about moderation, not deprivation. You can have your cake and eat it. Just not all at once, every day.

Eat a healthy diet. Try to limit processed foods and foods high in sugar, salt and saturated fat.

Exercise. Aerobic activity which gets your heart pumping is good for your heart. Combine it with strength work and flexibility exercise such as yoga to get further benefits for your body.

Don’t smoke. Once you stop smoking your risk of heart attack and stroke goes down, as does your risk of many other illnesses.

If you want to know your risk of cardiovascular disease, see your doctor who can test your blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar levels.

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.

August is the eighth month of the year and is named after the emperor Augustus. It was originally called sextilis meaning sixth, as it was the sixth month in the old Roman calendar. Another reminder that things do change, even though such things can seem like they’ve been around forever. This month marks International Youth Day. Each year has a central theme but the underlying principle is about raising awareness of the struggles of youth as well as their achievements. Also this month we celebrate International Left Hander’s Day on the 13^th and in the US, National Relaxation Day takes place.

This month we will consider your thoughts on young people and staying young at heart. In honour of Left Hander’s Day we will note how it is okay being different. Finally, since relaxation and stress relief is so important to everyone, I will offer you relaxation tips, even if Relaxation Day isn’t celebrated in your country.

Forever young

When people think of youth, it is easy to think badly of them, especially the older you get. People may stereotype them as lazy, troublesome and the generation that’s never had it so good. This month, take the trouble to look at the young people around you. What are they doing? Are they really living up to your stereotype? You may also like to take chat with youth you know to find out what life is really like for them. Breaking stereotypes is a great way to reduce unhappiness on a societal level.

In thinking about your own youth, you can also boost your own individual happiness. Take a moment to reflect on the things you enjoyed doing – how did you used to have fun? Do you still do these things? Why not? Are you following some unwritten rule that you cannot do certain activities anymore? Seems a shame to me that people give things up because they feel they cannot do something, rather than no longer wanting to. I remember in my mid-twenties believing I was too old to go and see bands anymore and for a while I followed this rule. Fortunately, I decided to break this rule and have seen some great entertainment in the years that followed. So this month, take advantage of International Youth Day and do something you haven’t indulged in for years and see how much your wellbeing is boosted.

By the way, youth is defined as anyone under 25. If this is you – happy International Youth Day!

Being different

About 10% of people are left handed. If you are one of them, happy Left Hander’s Day. I’m a left hander and am always quick to spot a fellow left hander. I may even say something to the person, knowing that there’s a shared history somewhere of the times we’ve struggled. My most recent struggles have been buying left handed golf clubs (made even more challenging that I want a ladies set, preferably not pink) and using a mouse shaped for right handed people. Yet despite this I wouldn’t have it any other way. Hopefully other left handed people feel the same.

We should all celebrate our differences, no matter what they are. They’re all part of what makes up the uniqueness that is you.

Have the courage to be yourself. It’s far more satisfying than trying to put on an act of someone you feel you ought to be. Once you stop worrying about what other people think, you can finally relax and enjoy being you. Use this month to reflect on times when you hide your difference or struggle to be yourself. Are there certain situations where you keep your opinions to yourself? Do you let other people make decisions for you or put off decision making altogether? Do you do things you feel you ought to do, rather than what you want to do? Keep a record of your findings then brainstorms solutions that will allow you to be you. Start small, note your successes, then go from there.

Remember you can never please everybody, so don’t bother trying.

Smell the roses

It’s so easy in today’s busy world to see relaxation as some sort of guilty indulgence. As though burnout is something to aspire to – proof of how busy and productive you are. Yet it is precisely because life is so demanding that making time to relax is essential. Stress is a real problem and is responsible for the onset of many serious health problems, including diabetes and heart disease. Relaxation reduces stress. It is very hard for our bodies to feel stressed and relaxed at the same time. Taking the time each day for some sort of relaxation will do wonders for your health, wellbeing and overall happiness. Have a look at the following stress relieving tips that can be carried out for just a few minutes a day.

• Carry out deep breathing. This is particularly helpful when faced with a potentially stressful situation. Breathe slowly in through your nose, filling your lungs as you do so, then release the air slowly out through your mouth.
• Learn how to meditate. If this doesn’t appeal to you, try yoga.
• Watch a funny video, or just think about one.  Research has shown that by just thinking about a funny video reduced stress hormones.
• Get hold of a relaxation CD and put it on just before bedtime. Hopefully it will unwind you enough so you go to bed stress free.
• Spend time on your favourite hobby. Allow yourself to have time alone away from everyday life.

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.

July is the seventh month of the year and is named after Julius Caesar. This month there really is a reason to be happy as International Happiness Day is celebrated. As such I will provide you with some simple tips to help you not only celebrate this day, but to be used at any time. We also have International Joke Day this month, so hopefully this will put a smile on your face. In some parts of the world, Christmas in July is celebrated. As such, I will discuss the idea of blending old traditions with new, thereby creating your own, more contented life.

Get happy

I could provide you with hundreds of happiness tips, giving you ideas to celebrate International Happiness Day. In fact, if you understand a few ideas about happiness, you could probably come up with some of your own. For example, the fact that you can choose to be happy, happiness can be learned, happiness is letting go of the past and not making wild predictions about the future. Happiness is making the most of the here and now, is nothing to feel guilty about and there is always enough to go round. What steps would you take to put these ideas into practise? Whilst you are thinking, I will offer you a few tips to get you started.

1 Switch off the television. Spend the time instead doing something that engages you and absorbs your energies.

2 Do something for other people. There’s a lot of research that supports the link between helping others and happiness. You don’t have to volunteer at a charity helping out strangers (although it would be great if you did). You can just do nice things for your family, friends and work colleagues.

3 Learn something new. Not sure how to spend your time instead of watching television? Then give something new a try. It will give you a new lease on life, help you overcome boredom and get you out of any rut you are in. It can be anything you like.

4 Have a good night’s sleep. Try to ensure you always have the energy to enjoy your life. One of the best ways is through sleep.

5 Have a belly laugh. International Joke Day should help you with this.

Knock knock

Who’s there?
Archie

Archie Who?
Gesundheit!

I’m not very good at telling jokes, but I do like to hear or read them. If you’re after a quick mood boost, seek out a joke. You will be sure to find something that amuses you. Reading jokes may seem a frivolous thing to do, but is a great way of relieving stress. It’s an easy way to bring on some laughs and allow you to recognise that life doesn’t have to be all serious. Laughter helps you relax, boosts the immune system, eases pain and is a great way to bring people together.

Since this month in International Joke Day, use this as an opportunity to share your favourite jokes with others. And if you’re like me and are not good at telling of jokes, you can always add your favourite to facebook for your friends to read.

Link to a year’s worth of jokes

http://www.squidoo.com/the_daily_joke

Flexible traditions

When I first moved to Australia, come June or July, it always felt like Christmas to me. The time of year evoked strong memories for me, helped mostly by cold winter days. It was early on that I learned about Christmas in July and assumed the celebration was an Australian tradition for those people who had formerly lived in the northern hemisphere. A chance to indulge their senses – eating mince pies and sipping mulled wine, whilst it was cold outside. Turns out I was wrong. Research has shown that it has a long history and it did not start in Australia.

However, it didn’t matter to me. Early on I did celebrate my own Christmas in July. Past traditions were difficult to shake and perhaps I didn’t have to. It connected me to my past. However, as the years have passed Christmas in December has been an opportunity for me to create new traditions, which are fitting to my home here. Because it is okay to create new traditions that you can honour year after year. Things change, and holding on to the past may no longer work for you, even if it is all you have known. Remember, traditions are created by people – whether at a family or societal level. There’s something nice about combining old traditions with new. It keeps you connected in a small way to your past, but allows you to be at ease with your present.

Tip

This year, introduce a new tradition into your house. Make a pledge to do it every year and soon it will be part of your life and something you look forward to.

Read more about the history of Christmas in July

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_in_July

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.

Welcome to June! June is the sixth month of the year and is most likely named after the goddess Juno. As the goddess of marriage, it became popular to marry in June, a trend that continues today, particularly in the northern hemisphere. Relationships and relationship satisfaction therefore will be our first theme this month. What can you do to ensure a happy ongoing relationship with your partner? On the 21^st of this month summer solstice takes place in the northern hemisphere. It is the day with the longest daylight and so perhaps is a good time to celebrate International Picnic Day, which is officially on the 18th. I will discuss reasons why planning a picnic can be good for you. Also celebrated this month is World Juggling Day, which you may or may not have heard of. I think this gives us a great opportunity to try new things and I will talk about this further.

Have a happy relationship

If you are married, recall the time spent preparing for your wedding. The effort you went to so that everything went right on the day. Even the simplest of weddings involves planning and an investment of time and energy. Think back and remind yourself of this effort. So if this was the work you put in before you were married, how about the effort you put in now you are married? It’s easy to assume that marriages either work (the couple got lucky), or they don’t. What follows are some simple ideas to keep you in a happy relationship, whether you are married or not.

Make up quickly. Arguments are inevitable. In fact keeping quiet about an issue will make you more miserable in the long run and could even harm your health. Research conducted in Maryland in the US shows women who kept quiet during an argument were at greater risk of depression, irritable bowel syndrome and even death. It is okay to speak up, but it is also important to listen. Understand where your partner is coming from than work on a solution that is agreeable to the both of you. Make the effort to do it sooner rather than later, so things do not get out of hand

Related to resolving conflict is forgiveness. Try to forgive transgressions – you will feel better for it. If something serious has happened in your relationship that you are struggling to forgive, don’t shy away from speaking to a counsellor. They can help put things into perspective.

Practise gratitude on a daily basis. Remind yourself of all the good things your partner does. Why are you glad they are in your life? It’s easy to focus on what they don’t do. This is an opportunity to alter your perception and focus on the great things they bring to your relationship.

Make time for each other. Life can often get in the way of taking time out as a couple. However if you can put the effort in to do things for just the two of you, it will help maintain feelings of love and affection. You may have to schedule it in like an appointment; just make sure you don’t cancel on them.

Don’t be afraid to hold hands, hug and kiss. This is easily implemented and there’s no rule that says only teenagers can do it.

Eat outdoors

There’s something lovely about a picnic. Being outdoors, with a selection of foods to munch over. It’s probably the most relaxed way of eating. Whether you picnic alone, with your partner, friends or family, it is a great chance to unwind and forget your worries. Not only that but it gives you something to plan and look forward to. Where will you go, what will you cook, who will you invite? Will you play games or just chat or read books? Since it’s your picnic, you get to decide the details. If you want a leisurely day, pick up some cheese, grapes and a baguette on the way to your chosen destination. No preparation required. Don’t forget the knife though. And since we’re not too worried about rules, don’t be concerned if it rains. You can always have your picnic indoors or sat in the car.

Learn how to juggle

Is learning how to juggle really the way to happiness and greater wellbeing? It could be. It’s a chance to learn a skill and if you wish, take it to greater and greater levels. One day you’re throwing a couple of balls in the air, the next you’re juggling swords. Except it doesn’t work like that. Learning any skill requires dedication and persistence and probably a good dose of optimism to help you keep going. As you embark on your juggling journey you will get great satisfaction from your accomplishments, especially when you successfully overcome obstacles.

So this month, take the opportunity to learn a new skill – it doesn’t have to be juggling, just whatever appeals to you. You can learn a great deal about yourself and discover a level of determination you didn’t realise you had.

If you do want to learn how to juggle, follow this link: http://www.juggle.org/howto/howtobasics.php

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.

May is the fifth month of the year and is named after the goddess Maia.

For a month of happiness, we will draw from three events happening in May: World Laughter Day, International No Diet Day and a little known celebration observed in the US, Visit Your Relatives Day. If we take advantage of these events this month, we can make a difference to our overall happiness and wellbeing.

The benefits of laughter

Stress is no laughing matter. When we are stressed, the hormone cortisol enters the bloodstream. If left unmanaged (i.e. you remain in a stressed state), it can cause problems, including: high blood pressure, lowered immunity and blood sugar imbalance, which can lead to diabetes. However, laughter has been found to lower cortisol levels. It has also been shown to improve blood-vessel function, reducing the risk of cardiovascular disease, improve the immune system, relive pain and lower blood pressure. It can also alleviate symptoms of depression.

So there are very good reasons for laughter, so this month take the trouble to ensure you have a few laughs. Some people laugh more readily or loudly than others. They see the lighter side of life. Others think we shouldn’t be laughing because life sucks. Life is a challenge yes, and it is perhaps for this reason that we should all have the courage to lighten up and laugh. You will feel better for it and you will raise the spirits of the people around you.

Easy tip

Watch your favourite comedy DVD, alone or with others.

More challenging suggestion

Have the courage to laugh at yourself. Far better than getting moody and defensive.

Read more about laughter

Laugh, laugh, laugh: the benefits are many

Forget diets

How about for the whole of this month, you forget all about dieting, embrace a positive body image and start to feel good about yourself, no matter what your size? Too much? Well how about just a day? May 6th is International No Diet Day where all over the world people forget their diets and promote acceptance of you just as you are.

There are two issues worth addressing here. First, diets just do not work. You restrict what you eat for a certain period of time, possibly following some celebrity-endorsed fad and you lose weight. You could say the diet was a success. But what happens now? Do you continue on your diet, depriving yourself of certain food groups, vowing to eat three Brussels sprouts for breakfast for the rest of your life? Or do you come off your diet and resume your old eating habits? Neither is good. In the first instance, your body needs to obtain nutrients from a wide variety of foods and anyway, depriving yourself of something will result in cravings. In the second instance, you will put the weight back on as you are eating the same amount of calories you were before.

Now I want you to be healthy and happy. So it is worth being aware of foods that are not good for you. Particularly those high in saturated fat and sugar. You can eat them, but in moderation. I know I need my chocolate fix and each week I buy three or four small chocolate bars that last me the week. This works for me. If I didn’t do this and deprived myself, I know I’d be down the shops buying a block of chocolate and eating it in one go. Don’t restrict yourself of anything, but do take care with foods that can harm your health.

Second, if you want to be a happier person, self-acceptance is important. And this includes acceptance of your body. No matter what size you are, it is very easy to believe you aren’t thin enough or the right shape. I remember an incident where I was encouraged to step on the scales with a bunch of dieters. For years I’d battled with the belief that I was fat. I’d check charts and my BMI would be in the ideal range, but still I wasn’t happy. Finally I took the hint and accepted I was fine. I felt good about myself and could focus on more important things. The scale incident came just a few weeks later and because it had clicked for me, I refused. It annoyed her, but I didn’t care, I was happy with my body. Yet just a week later I was told that I was ‘too thin’ by another person altogether! I couldn’t really win, if my intention was to please others. You’ve got to feel right in your own body, no matter what size you are and what other people think. It makes living with yourself so much more enjoyable.

More food-related articles

How foods can impact on mental health

The problem of emotional eating and how to overcome it

Family ties

Visit Your Relatives Day is observed on the 18th each year. It’s pretty clear what you have to do. Go and meet up with your family. At the very least it’s a chance to think about your family members, especially those of your extended family that you don’t hear from very much. Cousins, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces, grandparents… Social connections have been shown again and again to benefit our health and happiness and the more you have, the better off you are. So use the 18th as an opportunity to get in touch some way with your family members. If your family members aren’t close by, you can always send an email or write them a letter. How pleased will they feel to receive a handwritten letter from you?

Perhaps this is also the time to practise forgiveness if you have lost contact with a member due to a longstanding conflict.

Here are some tips on forgiveness that you may find helpful.

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.

April is the fourth month of the year and may have been named after the goddess Aphrodite. Celebrated this month are World Creativity Week, World Health Day and International Dance Day.

This month I will consider how everybody can be creative and how using your creativity skills can be a great mood booster. In recognition of World Health Day, I will provide ideas to help you look after your own mental and physical health. Related to both your creativity and your health, I will encourage you to take advantage of International Dance Day to get up and moving.

Get creative

When you think of the word ‘creativity’  what comes to mind? Generally we think of artists doing amazing things with a pot of paint. In reality however, creativity is much more than this. It is also about finding novel and innovative solutions to an existing problem. It is about giving things a go and trying new things, without fearing failure. Perhaps you are in a new job and can see that their existing systems are long and laborious and you can think of a more streamlined approach. This is creativity at work; however you must have the courage to put forward your ideas. Doing so will do wonders for your self-esteem. You trust yourself without worrying about being wrong or laughed at.

Nurturing your creativity can put you in a better position to handle certain situations. Perhaps it is looking for a creative solution to finally deal with Aunt Meg’s overzealousness at Christmas. Research suggests that happy people are more creative and spending time on your creative abilities will boost mood. It’s win-win. Furthermore you can become more productive, ridding yourself of boredom and procrastination. Exercising creativity means you are generating ideas, rather than being stuck doing nothing. You may also learn something about yourself; such a task is time never wasted.

Tips

• Write your ideas down. Don’t discard anything as they may come in handy later on or trigger a whole new bunch of ideas.
• Be aware of the things that may be hindering your creativity. Negative people and television are obvious examples.
• Look for opportunities to be creative in all areas of your life.
• Encourage others to offer up their ideas and don’t be too quick to dismiss an unexpected suggestion. It may just work.

Healthy ideas

Often we find that the things that are good for your physical health are also good for your mental health. This becomes apparent when we consider stress. Too much stress causes problems to our physical health and can potentially lead to heart disease, ulcers, diabetes, amongst other things. It can also bring about mental health problems of depression and anxiety. Yet when we take steps to manage stress, we are benefitting both or physical and mental health and doing wonders for our wellbeing in general. What follows are a number of suggestions that have been shown to benefit your overall health.

• My number one tip for good physical and mental health would have to be exercise. It is a fantastic stress reliever, can alleviate symptoms of depression and is great for your health. There are a lot of different types of exercise out there, so make sure you choose something you enjoy.
• Drink alcohol in moderation. Too much alcohol can lead to health problems and it is actually a depressant. So it is not increasing your mood.
• Don’t smoke. It does little for your stress levels and nothing for your health.
• Think about the food you eat. Aim for a balanced diet that does not restrict any food group. However watch your intake of saturated fat and sugar and aim for whole foods. These are food that have not been processed or refined. Some foods also increase mood so try to include these into your diet. These foods include: nuts, tofu, garlic, bananas, blueberries, cheese, spinach, oats and beans.
• Take an active role in your own life. Make good decisions and take control where you can. Try cutting down on the amount of television you watch. Instead use this time to engage in your favourite hobby or spend time with friends and family.

Get your groove on

The premise behind International Dance Day is to celebrate the art of dance and bring people together. If you are a dancer you will know how good it makes you feel. Dance offers up an opportunity for a flow experience, where you are so absorbed in the task, the rest of the world is forgotten. Of course, you don’t have to be a dancer to give dancing a go. You can dance in the comfort of your own home, go to a club or attend a dance class. Dance takes many forms so you will probably find something that interests. In fact, it doesn’t have to take any form at all; dancing around your house to your favourite music is just fine. Having a dance can be your chance to get creative and do something good for your health. That’s April’s goals achieved and you can have fun doing it.

Tip

• Just try it! Have fun and don’t worry about what other people are thinking.

Links to learn more about some of the celebrations happening this month

World Creativity Week

World Health Day

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.

March is the third month of the year and is named after the god Mars. This month marks the beginning of spring in the northern hemisphere and the start of autumn in the southern hemisphere. Make sure to note the changes in the season, no matter where you are in the world. March is International Listening Awareness Month. Since good communication promotes happier relationships, we will consider the art of listening. Brain Awareness Week also takes place this month and as such we will consider the benefits of learning to your happiness and wellbeing. Finally, we will look at human rights to celebrate International Women’s Day.

Be an active listener

If you communicate well, your relationship with others will be improved. Good communication means you are able to transmit successfully your own wants and needs. It also ensures you fully understand what the other person is trying to say to you. There will be fewer misunderstandings or hasty assumptions made. This will mean reduced conflict and a greater awareness of the people around you.

If you listen actively to another person, you are able to attend fully to them without your own thoughts and feelings interfering. So often we want to jump in with our own stories, and therefore stop listening to what the other person is trying to communicate. Try using the following techniques to help you become an active listener.

Paraphrasing: Here you put into your own words what the person has just said to you. It ensures you understand and the other person knows you are listening.

Reflecting: Here you focus on feelings, emotions and experiences. What do you see and hear? Reflect this back to the person you are talking to. Be aware of body language.

Summarising: Offer a summary of what the person has said. This is especially useful if the person has been speaking for a while.

Question: Ask questions to further your understanding. Try to avoid closed questions that require a one-word response. For example, “did you have a good day?” will likely give you a one-word answer, whereas “what did you get up to today?” should give you a longer response.

Body language: This is important to communication and can tell you a lot about what a person is thinking. Keep an eye on posture, gestures, amount of eye contact, facial expression and changes in the voice. You can use reflecting to check what you think you see is correct.

Tip

Watch a person conducting an interview on the television and see how they use listening skills.

Lifelong learning

There’s a great deal to be said about the brain. It is your best asset and so should be looked after. Brain Awareness Week aims to teach people about the brain and raise awareness of brain research that has been conducted. The brain is a muscle that needs exercising and learning is a great way to keep it in tip top condition.

Learning as part of life also brings great benefits to your overall happiness. It is an opportunity to renew your energies, get excited and curious. As you learn and get absorbed in a new project, you are giving yourself the chance to experience flow which is a sure-fire way to happiness. Learning can help prevent boredom as you have allowed more opportunities to come into your life. Importantly, you will learn things about yourself. As you develop your skills, it may take you to new places and perhaps push you to face your fears. You will learn to not be afraid of change and how to face a challenge.

Tips

Learning can take whatever shape or form works for you. Whether you attend a class, read a book or website or get hands-on is up to you.

Take a trip to the library. Explore the shelves, especially those you would not ordinarily visit. See what interesting pieces of information you can pick up. You never know, something might pique your interest.

Try to ensure your learning is always interesting and a challenge you can manage. You may need to take your learning to the next level to get the most out of it. Try to reflect regularly on how you are progressing. This also keeps the brain working hard.

Human rights

International Women’s Day first took place in 1911 and was established to promote equal rights for women, particularly the right to vote. This year marks 100 years and is a celebration of women’s achievements as well as work still to be done. It is an ideal opportunity therefore to reflect on the women in your life and the positive contributions they have made to it.

However, if we want to be happy, we need to consider everyone, not just the people we know. How can a person truly be happy, knowing there is suffering and inequality that continues around the world as well as in your very own country? Of course, turning on the news every night and seeing terrible things happen does little for your wellbeing. You have little control over these events. So you need to consider exactly what you can do to make the world a happier place. The key is to start small. Look at your own community. When you see something that isn’t fair you can speak up. Or at the very least don’t collude with the instigator. So for example, not tolerating workplace bullying. Or racist, sexist or homophobic comments from your friends. You could say nothing, join in or speak up against it. By speaking up you are making an important statement that says you won’t tolerate such behaviour.

Of course, I called this section human rights, but let’s not forget the rights of animals also.

Tip

Visit Amnesty International’s website to learn more about what is going on in your world. It is also an opportunity to see the good things people do and how you can get involved. Visit http://www.amnesty.org/.

Links

International Listening Awareness Month

International Women’s Day

Brain Awareness Week

Remember

Every month there is a reason to be happy.