This is a story not unlike many: single mom gives away much of her attention to others, and left little for herself and her own needs.  The problem compounded itself over time for one particular mom, Angela Garvin, as reported in the online version of the Atlanta Journal by Rana L. Cash, blogging Bargain Hunter.

Ms. Garvin and her 11-year-old son now eat more meals at home as part of a strategy that nets $500 in savings monthly, and she is setting a great example for her young adult son, aged 23.  We say, they’re proud of their mom!

But now Ms. Garvin is working with Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Greater Atlanta-  a full-service, nonprofit, financial counseling agency based in Atlanta, Georgia.  According to the article, she has entered the Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Atlanta’s credit score challenge.

“Garvin is one of 26 contestants — and one of three we’re following — vying for an $850 gift card and more importantly, a shot at improving their credit scores with the help of the nonprofit agency. The winner, chosen based on percentage, will be announced in June.”

Would you dress up like a princess if it was for a good cause?

This mother-and-daughter team did! Thank you to Lauren Hogan, a broadcast journalism major/photography minor at the University of Central Florida, and to her mom who ran the The Disney Princess Half-Marathon together in March 2010, a run which will take you through 13.1 miles of the Walt Disney World® Resort, for the benefit of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society®(LLS), an organization dedicated to the fight against blood cancers.

Ms. Hogan blogged about it, saying “We don’t sweat, we sparkle” and that “I’m so proud of my mom, she pushed through the entire race, running the whole thing without walking once. She is such a determined and inspiring person.”

Ms. Hogan: Now, I know, the title Disney Princess sounds a little too prissy or breezy for a half-marathon. Frankly, it was anything but.

Nearly, 12,000 fabulous women (and some men dressed as women) ran in this race, all running for the fight against Leukemia. They raced with determination, enthusiasm and the brightest smiles they could bare. Not only did they race with perfect runner-poise, but many raced wearing some very non-traditional running gear as well…

Every-colored tu-tu imaginable, tiaras, pink mickey ears, you name it, someone was wearing it. I saw a giant frog wearing a crown (obviously the frog prince), prince and princess couples (I mean, full on outfits, no playing around) and even a flamingo (?)

Terri McCarthy and her 28 year experience in caring for families in a school setting has allowed her to put voice to the message, Parents! Get Your Head in the Game. Check out the website CoachingWinningParents.com before you buy, too.

Available on Amazon.com, this affordable, paperback book uses positive language and encouragement to “assist parents in dealing with tough issues they may face.”

Parenting is by far the most difficult – but important – job you’ll ever have. If you are a parent or considering becoming one, this book offers great insight and guidance.

The online edition of the Savage (MN) Pacer featured a detailed article written by Meryn Fluker, who reported Terri and her husband Jon have three children: 26-year-old Megan, 25-year-old Dan, and Sydnie, an 11-year-old in fifth grade. It is Sydnie who sounds really excited and proud of her mom:

“Some people say, ‘Oh my gosh, I saw your mom on TV,’” Sydnie said. “Most of my friends know because their moms tell them that me and my mom and my family were in the newspaper. They’re proud of my mom too.”

Terri McCarthy says, “Always keep their best interest and your sanity in mind. If you let them, they will suck the life out of you. Tell yourself; I am in charge. Breathe and repeat. Make this your mantra.”

We know that when we bring a baby into the world, the separation is a physical one.  And yet when we bring a new person into our family, the bond is so much more than physical!

There is more than one type and composition style for families.  Various types of connections and relationships include parents and children, which seems to be most obvious, but could also be blended to include grandparents, step-relationships, fostering/adopting, and homes without children, homes with one parent, and, of course, the unique way your family is set up.

I am featuring here an introduction to a family that actually does not physically live together in one location at this time.  This has been a situation of choice for the family members, albeit a choice that is both appreciated and one of potential struggle.  I do not necessarily see that family members who do live together in one location are exempt from potential problems, so I was really interested in checking out the story behind Alison Tomich, originally from Michigan and now from top of the German Alps, as reported by Danny Shaw of monroenews:

Ms. Tomich said her parents, Alan and Brenda Tomich of Carleton, have supported her since the beginning, but still miss her.  “They’ve really been great,” she said. “I’m so proud of my Mom for holding out this long. I know it’s killing her to have me gone so long, but she’s also very proud and excited about all the things I’ve been doing.” [Photo courtesy of Alison Tomich]

Three Cheers For Mom!!  That’s what daughters are saying in Luzerne, Pennsylvania because their mom take part in an amazing – and healthy – cheering squad for grown-ups.

What a work-out! Terrie Morgan-Besecker wrote an article featuring these moms, and their proud family members, as they work out and work together in an all-adult cheer team made up of parents of cheerleaders who belong to the West Side Starz All Star Cheer and Dance program, a nonprofit youth cheerleading organization based out of the Joan Harris Center in Luzerne [PA].

This experience is generating mutual respect that daughters and their mothers (and 3 fathers who are also involved) have for each other. Plus, they are willing to say so! Communication seems to be the key to success on the cheer floor, and off.

“I felt like an idiot,” parent Jessica Timek, 34, of Exeter, confesses, “but then (my daughter) Gabby came up to me and said, ‘Mom, that was awesome. I’m so proud of you.’ ”

Janine Verdetto, 28,  never cheered a day in her life before joining the parents team – a fact, she confesses, that always bothered her.“My Erica ran up to me and said, ‘I’m so proud of you. You’re just like me….’ “

Communication and support for each other are family-values which are universal.  The success of this program, which is intense but very rewarding, is clearly based in an attitude of respect, and well-placed pride.

From the article: Cheer routines are based on an eight-count system. Each move in the routine is tied to a specific count. Everyone has to be in sync and remember which move goes with each count for a stunt, dance or cheer motion to work. The parents also have to remember where on the floor they’re supposed to move at a given time and, even more difficult, ensure they don’t run into each other doing it.

Smile first, all else follows...

Productive communication is a learned talent, and I happen to have grown up in a house where my mom (and dad!) had a true gift for it.

As an adult, I do appreciate this gift more and more.  I feel much of my personal and even business success derives in large part from using productive communication, whenever I can.

Well except for today, when I said that thing that came out wrong.  To my boss.  Who also happens to be my clergyperson.  She said that everyone gets a day to get it wrong.  And today was my day.  So she said I got my day today.  But now that I got my day, I don’t get another day.  I should be set.  We had a nice smile after that.

The lesson learned is, we learn positive communication skill points through our whole life long, picking up where our mothers left off, one day at a time.

Productive communication is a very rare commodity in this day and age. I once heard a teenager say, “I haven’t spoken to my mother for five years — I didn’t want to interrupt her!” In some relationships, everyone is doing plenty of talking but very little listening and then they wonder why their relationship has gone sour. – Rabbi Yaakov Lieder [Full article]

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn’t want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body..
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom

I am going to be completely honest; I have not always been so proud of my mom.  I have found her to be embarrassing, strict, narrow minded, not understanding, bad listener, uncompromising, and, I blush, selfish.  Horrible, I know.  Believe it or not, I am guilty of all these traits.  They say what you see in others is a reflection of yourself.

Now don’t get me wrong.  We are very close.  We have an open, honest relationship.  We are so similar and so different.  I love my mother very much.  I wish we could always get along nicely, but I literally get into fights with her every other day, and mind you, we live in different countries.  When I make the effort I am able to avoid those fights, but I am also very lazy, enough said.  I must mention though, these fights are petty and never last.  Thank G-d.

After my grueling teens I came to accept and appreciate my mother for who she is quirks and all.  I no longer squirm in embarrassment.  I love her differences.  We share some of the greatest laughs.  Yes, mothers can be fun if you allow them.

I appreciate all she has given and sacrificed for me.  She has helped me become the person I am; the good and the bad, even though I’m perfect – kidding.  I wish I more often expressed my appreciation for her.  I try, but I know I’m not trying hard enough.

If only people could realize the importance of communicating gratitude to the person that invested so much into them.  If only they realized how easy, and more importantly, effective it is.  If only I would.  If only.

This is how you probably thanked your mother…

When you landed on this earth from the tummy of your mother, she held you in her arms. You thanked her by kicking her.

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.  You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.  You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love. You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons. You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays. You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud.

When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school. You thanked her by screaming, “I’M NOT GOING!”

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball. You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor’ s window.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for music lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.  You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.Those teenage years -

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.  You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.  You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.  You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to driver her car.  You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.  You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.  You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, carried your bags.  You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.  You thanked her by saying, “It’s none of your business.”

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.  You thanked her by saying, “I don’t want to be like you.”

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.  You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.  You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiancé and asked about your plans for the future.  You thanked her by glaring and growling, “Muuhh-there, please!”

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby. You thanked her by telling her, “Things are different now.”

When you were 40, she called to remind you of an relative’s birthday.  You thanked her by saying you were “really busy right now.”

This is the way we normally thank our mothers…

Patti Zona is not [yet] a household name, but at her house it is!  That’s because her memoir titled The Value of a Homemaker reveals understanding, enlightenment and validation - essential qualities for the self-actualized homemaker.

Is self-actualization the opposite of homemaker? It doesn’t have to be.  Can the two concepts exist in one mind without producing cognitive dissonance? Resounding yes!

Enter Patti Zona, author, homemaker and self-described woman who is willing to forgive and learn and do and be better. She has been willing to question the norm of the inherent value in “careerism” and the toll that “careerism” has taken on the family unit. She has also been willing to write about it, which is a singular bravery that has the potential ability to produce a universal ripple effect in defense of the true value of a homemaker.

From my view, a homemaker has the assistance of automated machinery for the physical care taking of a home, but can a microwave and a Roomba really replace the spiritual and psychosocial contributions that a homemaker brings?

But, what happens when the family becomes replaced, not recognized in their importance or valued because the outside intrusions have taken priority? And, the family sacrificed and forgotten and replaced….

Oh, and by the way, the homemaker is not only a female’s role; whoever works to make your home healthy in every sense of that word is truly a valued homemaker.