Proulxville

The Things of Fairy Tales

2013-07-04T00:02:00.001-05:00

I'm literally crying tears of joy tonight. You may be wondering why...or thinking man this girl cries a lot. The cause of this moisture on my cheeks is because I'm blessed to have arguably the best marriage on the planet.

We are nearing the end, and I haven't spoken really about the deployment. There are times when it is difficult, and I would give anything to have Mike walk in the house like he always does when I'm cooking dinner. I want him to place his lunch box on the counter and PT bag on the floor so he can give me a big hug, like he always does when he is home. There have been moments when I wished he could have held my hand while I endured more fertility trials or hold me while I cried because I still am not a mother. Life is tough and deployments make those unpleasant days, well...worse to say the least.

In the midst of a deployment though, I'm on cloud 9. I can sit here tonight and pretend that those fireworks booming outside are celebrating our love. After all, true love should be celebrated. And though we are separated by 7,000 miles, half a world apart we are so incredibly happy.

Mike and I have been discussing a lot of things lately through email (our main form of communication and quite an improvement since Ranger school, don't you think?!). Among many things, we share words of affirmation for one another. We have learned how to accurately communicate love. I wish we could bottle what we have and give it away, like some sort of love potion for the brokenhearted. Or simply tell you about every little thing that helps us. Communicating love is but one item of our "Best Marriage Gotta Have" list.

Maybe, someday, we can share more details of our marriage with others. It most likely will not come in the form of a magic potion, although a Disney princess wouldn't have it any other way. We have weathered our fair share of storms and have been faced with challenges that only God saved us from. Despite it all, what we have is a storybook romance that is growing more beautiful and intricate everyday.

Prince Charming wears a horrid shade of green and this princess looks like Cinderella in need of a fairy godmother most days, but I know that fairy tales really do come true because of our story. It brings me such joy to know that we are living....

happily ever after.

More Than a Number: Finding Love and Support Through Infertility

2013-06-19T18:43:00.000-05:00

We are riding the ebbs and flow in this ocean of infertility. There have been times when I felt I was hanging onto the life vest of hope and others where I'm sinking to the ocean floor, real low points emotionally. Along the way, I am meeting new people and seeing God place each person on the path to walk with me for the time they are needed. Some of them do not even realize the impact they are providing, like the guy at the hospital registration desk that smiled and said, "you are going to make a great mom, I can see it in you." or the lady who congratulated me today that I did not have to return for more ultrasounds but could move forward in this journey. What absolute jewels. Though they only walked with me for brief moments, they make the journey bearable. I feel so blessed by their kind, sincere words.

And unfortunately, there are so many times that we, as "barren" women, can feel as though we are just being pushed through the lab. Got her blood work done, "NEXT!" Sometimes its simple lack of a conversation because they know why you are there. Its difficult for some to know what to say to us sometimes and that just leaves the awkward silence hanging. If your in this battle, I'm sure you've been there.

Despite those moments of difficult interaction that leave me emotionally void, there have been many, many more wonderfully encouraging people around me lately. They certainly deserve some praise.

First, my Nurse Mary who is educating me on the woman's reproductive system and truly acting as a second mom right now. She goes far over and beyond her duties as a Creighton Model educator. She checks in on me regularly to see how I am doing in every aspect of this journey. I feel so blessed to have her, and I will continue to cherish her. It is through her that I am also learning that NaProTechnology and the Creighton Model Method are a calling to those who serve in its ever-growing community. Your life and success matter to everyone involved.

That brings me to Dr. Gray. I think I can truly say that he is the most caring and compassionate physician I have ever met. He believes very strongly in the practice of NaProTechnology and it's benefits in the women's health arena, and he works very diligently to proceed with each case individually. You are not a patient number and file. You are a woman, a mother, and a sister in Christ. He cares for your well-being physically, mentally, and spiritually. Not only that, his staff reciprocates that same practice and care. I have talked with them daily lately, and I can sometimes hear him in the background (probably between patients) jumping into the conversation to check on me too. What amazing people God has put in my life!

It is very uplifting in the face of these challenges to be surrounded by those who truly care and want to walk this road with you. I believe that God places those with us when we need them. I think the part that makes this so much more special is that I know the spiritual beliefs of those that are guiding me in the medical decisions. I know with absolute certainty that this factor is the leading cause of their nurturing hearts. God's love is able to overflow from them and onto the patience they see. Not only that, I have faith that I am walking in the path that God has led me to. I feel obedient to His will because they are also being obedient to the calling He has placed on them. How could I possibly be in the wrong place with my fertility?

If you wish to be more than a number, I encourage you to look into NaProTechnology. Even if there is not an educator or physician in your area, they work with patients from many distances. After driving across the state to attend my last visit with Dr. Gray, my mother (who has worked in the medical field for 25+ years) said, "you have found a doctor worth driving for. There are not many of them out there."

Home Projects Galore

2013-06-13T21:34:00.000-05:00

So I have been gone lately from our virtual Proulxville, but I have not been lazy. I have been working on several things around the house, and I have more projects in the works. This afternoon I bought another plant. I've been doing a lot of that lately. This one is suppose to keep the mosquitoes away. I've also been doing a lot of sacrificing my blood to the mosquitoes lately too. I decided to sit on the back porch by this fancy geranium while I write to you all and test this keeping the bugs at bay theory. I've also been doing a whole lot of natural testing, but we'll save that for another time.

First and foremost, I had a job. Actually, I had two. The latter job I quit, but the first one affords me a summer break must like a teaching job. That would be because it revolves around the school calendar. It will start back up in the fall, but for now I'm free again. I enjoy working to a certain extent. I like having a purpose for most of my days. Having a part time job helps me to have something outside of the home and a little extra spending cash. However, I do not like it to interfere with my life. That may sound petty, and I do not wish to offend any woman who chooses to work full time. To each their own. I was once on a career path myself. However, I have come to appreciate keeping my home. So long story short, last week I quit the job that was interfering.

That job kept me away from you all, but it did not keep me from working around the house some. My rePostable home project will be starting again....next week I've decided. Please give me a few days to complete something and post about it.

I have successfully built and planted a 100% organic vegetable garden. The weather has been crazy cool this year so planting from seed was not really a good option. I found this wonderful nursery in Arizona to purchase seedlings from. For those of you who know me personally, you may know this is my second attempt at having a garden. So far it is going infinitely better than the last time. I can't wait to see what kind of harvest we are able to have. I'll be sure to post pictures.

I've also worked on the outside appearance and curb appeal on our home. I'm working on trying to get grass to grow in the yard, thanks to the help of TruGreen. I'd like to say I was DIYing it, but lets face it, I'm lucky the garden and flowers are doing as well as they are. So far the yard is weed free and a nice deep green. I'd like to see new grass growing, but that will not happen until the fall. Speaking of flowers, I just keep coming home with more. I have gradually brought home several items and arranged them neatly in planters on the front porch. My favorite is the hydrangea mostly because that is my favorite flower in general, but also because I've wanted to plant them since we moved here and couldn't due to lack of shade. Second fav is the hostas for the same reason. So I worked around the no shade thing, bought partial sun varieties, and put them on the front porch where they are mostly protected. I'm also quite proud of my turquoise flower pot DIY. I took a flower pot I bought when we were first married and gave it a quick 30 minute face lift. Tonight I hung our street number on one of the columns because no one can find our house and a flagpole. Now we can properly show off our patriotism this summer.

Inside I've done a bit of decorating. I searched for months for this little table to go by my DIY armchair. I'm so thrilled I had the patience to wait for it. I had almost bought three other tables, but kept on waiting for something better with a smaller price tag. Add a cute pillow and some fake flowers (hydrangeas again), and we have one super cute entryway/bay window. Best part is you can see it as you walk up to the house. Love to be cute inside and out!

Last, I've been demoing a bit in our kitchen. I know we bought a brand new house, but that doesn't mean I can't make it better. So far I have ripped out the baseboards (oh yeah I'm strong) and taken everything off the walls. After my kitchen was naked, I filled in all the holes with spackling. These holes also included some large places from an over-sized puppy. I finished sanding the last few spots today so now its off to the paint store so I can paint and be ready for my handyman to come in and do the part that requires power tools. Being a fan of DIY, I would like to think I could handle this project all by myself, but the simple fact is I have NO power tools. I've asked for Mike to get some for Christmas, but Santa never brings them to him. The things I could do if he only had a saw and a nail gun.

Well I only have one mosquito bite. Maybe this plant was worth the 10 bucks. Go to Lowes and get one!

***Between the writing of this post and the editing/publishing, our giant furball er...Pyrenees decided we needed to demo the kitchen floors too. Yay we are getting new tile! Look for before and after pics of our kitchen....Coming Soon.

Beautiful angelic puppies....

do evil things like this.

Women's Health Revolution

2013-06-01T17:34:00.001-05:00

A little while ago, I posted about the need for a cure for infertility. I also have talked here about the method we are choosing to pursue. I know I've been slow to provide more information on both of these areas, but I want to do that. I think this is important and needs to be shared a million times over. Women across our country need to know there is another way.

We have chosen to follow the Creighton Model Method and be seen by an OB/GYN who practices NaProTechnology (despite the travel required.) If you thought I was crunchy before then you might think I'm off my rocker. I'm all the time finding natural alternatives. I'm not a hippy like my husband thinks. I'm practical and logical, and I try to be best educated on the matters that I'm pursuing. The same holds true in the matter of becoming a parent.

So I did all the research possible and as mentioned on a previous post, took an appointment with someone new. Also, previously discussed, NaProTechnology is a form of women's health that is two-fold. You become educated in the area of women's health and see a physician who is more educated and aware in their area of specialty than the vast majority in their field.

So I have been seeing Mary Vozar at Fertility for Life right here in Clarksville. She is a skilled nurse and has been led by God to advocate for and educate women in an area most crucial to them, their reproductive health. She teaches the use and practice of the Creighton Model Method and lends her support and prayer for the women she is working with. From the moment I met her I could tell that she is prayerful and obedient in what God has called her to. What a blessing to have her on my side and to have been led to her! I have been learning about the inner workings of the female reproductive system, the complexity that is involved, and the true miracle that creating life is. The details go far beyond anything ever learned in a biology lecture hall or sex ed course. It is amazing what we can learn from our bodies when we choose to pay attention. Through the use of this method we can know when we can and can't get pregnant, when we are beginning menopause, and when something major (like cancer) could be a concern. It is empowering and inspiring.

Since seeing Nurse Mary, as I like to call her, I have learned that I do indeed ovulate most likely every month. A normal fertile female can have a cycle where she might not ovulate due to stress or other life events so I will not say always. It would be difficult for anyone to say they always ovulate, but I do in fact ovulate. Instead, I have a hormonal issue going on. These key indicators of my fertility status were easily identifiable after a month on the Creighton Model.

We have taken these indicators to Dr. Gray at the Women's Clinic in Jackson, TN. He is my new OB/GYN and what another blessing I have found in him. He is caring and detailed, not quick to assume but thorough in his diagnosis and treatment of patients. He is also another heart after God. I am currently working with him on some more testing (I didn't say we took the medicine out of this more natural approach) to see if we can pinpoint the precise issues with my hormones and hopefully disprove my PCOS diagnosis. My testing will include blood work, ultrasounds, and a small biopsy. These testing methods provide for the most information with minimal discomfort. They will all be completed in the next few weeks, and we should be ready to start treatments in July!!! You guessed it folks, right in time to get fertile before Mike redeploys (civi-talk: comes homes from deployment.) We have been told already that there is confidence in a successful pregnancy in our near future.

I think this method and practice of women's health care is amazing and exactly what women need. They need support for their bodies, their minds and their spirit. NaProTechonology is so incredibly advanced and should be available everywhere. We need more doctors to sign on with a commitment to their field of study that goes beyond the status quo. We need to spread the word about NaProTechnology and restore the confidence women should have in their OB/GYNs. We need a NaProRevolution so that women can learn there are individual cures for their infertility that are obtainable today.

To learn more about NaProTechnology and the Creighton Model Method CLICK HERE
To read stories of others who have found miracles through the use of NaProTechnology CLICK HERE
To learn if there is a physician in your state who practices NaProTechnology CLICK HERE **also note that many doctors are working with patients through Skype in order to help those who are too far to travel. Isn't technology awesome sometimes?!**

More than a Band-Aid, We Need a Cure

2013-04-30T21:51:00.000-05:00

Last week was officially Infertility Awareness week. It is interesting the way that we have found a day, week, or month to be aware of just about everything in our world. It makes me laugh sometimes at the silly things like Straw Hat month (April) or Play Your Ukelele Day. Oh yeah, that one is coming up this week.

Today, April 30th, is Honesty Day. That seems fitting because I'd like to speak very honestly about infertility awareness. Last week, I read well written accounts of different women's struggles with infertility, the blessings that alternative ways of becoming a parent can give, and what not to say to a woman struggling with infertility. I admit that the last topic was pretty good. I receive comments daily from both friends and complete strangers that accidentally cut deep.

What I didn't read last week was working towards a cure. Every October we fight breast cancer and raise money for a cure. Where is the talk about a cure to infertility? Why are we allowing band-aid fixes? Why aren't we demanding more from our doctors? We are blessed that infertility is not a cancer. We are blessed that we are not going to die (at least not on the outside) if we do not carry a pregnancy to term and raise a beautiful, biological child. Band-aids might do the trick, but are we being left with one big, ugly scar.

When we began our infertility journey, we made the decision to pursue adoption if we needed to before we ever step foot in the office for the first visit. We knew that we would not choose IVF or IUI. It just wasn't the way we believed God would give new life to our family. It was a personal conviction. I had researched and read enough to know the typical process that the obstetrician would take in diagnosing and treating any possible issues we were facing. Unfortunately, that process very quickly ends with IVF and many couples are faced with the decision, spend thousands for the slim chance of success or never be parents.

It is not fair that mainstream obstetrics causes this stressful, burdensome decision. There are so many negative side effects that a couple and especially the woman face when pursuing IVF. And the truth is it is not always necessary and most times fail.

I'm speaking honestly saying that there are other ways to achieve a pregnancy. There are natural ways that do not cause stress and harm to our bodies. There are ways that have higher success rates with less financial and emotional costs.

We should be demanding better from our doctors. Quite frankly, they should be better educated. A year ago I had faith in my OB/GYN. She was kind and patient. She listened. She offered advice. Then she "diagnosed" me and started passing out the band-aids. Take this Clomid, you will never ovulate without it. Oh take a higher dose of Clomid because your levels need to be higher to really make sure you ovulate every month. Band-aid. Band-aid. Well, you didn't get pregnant and your husband is deploying, lets get you in to see a reproductive specialist and do IUI while your husband is gone..... Big fat Ace bandage band-aid.

No ma'am. I want a cure. I want to address the cause of my infertility. Is that too much to ask? Can we stop forcing my body to do something it clearly isn't willing to do and instead figure out why?

I encourage you ladies to search for the why. I found my why this week. I will discuss it more over the coming weeks. Guess what?! Its simple, and there is a simple solution. I found the answer through a completely natural process.

I found my cure because I demanded it. I wasn't harsh, although I did fire my OB quietly. I did my research. I sought out answers, and I found a group of physicians spread out across our country that have the answers.

We do not need Infertility Awareness to educate the general public about our struggles. We need Fertility Awareness for the community of women who are suffering. This is my personal awareness campaign.

More than a Band-Aid. You could find your cure!

A Ranger and His Love: Week 13

2013-03-08T09:00:00.001-06:00

5th Ranger Training Brigade, Attempt #1

August 18, 2012

The Ranger

Hey Darlin'

How's your day? I got your letters yesterday which was awesome. I just wish there was more to read because its like getting to talk to you for a brief period of time. And I love getting letters. I'm glad you finally told some family about the adoption, and I can't wait to hear my parents reaction. You definitely need to write me all about it. Well for me, tomorrow is the last day before the first field problem so that is going to suck, but there will some funny stories about droning and halucinating from lack of food and sleep. So that's always fun. Today wasn't bad. We practiced conducting Raids all day and tomorrow is mission prep. Then that night we get the leadership for the first mission which has a good chance of being me since I am the senior officer in the platoon. So pray we all do well. I do not want to do this phase twice. Well its late so I should go. I love you bunches and bunchehs. I hope I get mail from you tomorrow before we go to the field.

August 18, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe-

I hope you are doing well. At this point I think you are finishing mountaineering training and going to get into the graded portion soon. I'm still praying for you. Well I got our local adoption application completed for the home study. I'll get it in the mail Monday probably because its too late today. They are going to want to schedule our visits ASAP so hopefully you graduate soon. So I told your parents! They are so excited! Your mom says now she can answer the "when are you going to be grandparents" question. :) Your dad called Memere to tell her we claim #10 great grand child. This afternoon I'm going to Knoxville to see C. We are going to rent bikes downtown, $10 for 2 hours! and ride along the river. It will be fun. C works out everyday now. I can't wait to see what great shape she's in. I want to buy roller blades still. Can I have a pair for my birthday? They'll give me hot legs :) and it's fun! Okay, running out of room. I love you to the moon. Keep working hard. You have great things to come home to.

<3 SJ

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:

Week 1 Week 6

        Week 2               Week 7
Week 3                Week 8
Week 4                Week 9

Week 5 Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.

A Ranger and His Love: Week 12

2013-03-01T15:19:00.000-06:00

5th Ranger Training Brigade, Attempt #1

August 15, 2012

His Love

Good Morning Babe!

Today is (Mike's unit) 70th birthday! I thought you would like that little fun fact. Week of the Eagles is also this week. I also wanted to share this scripture. I don't know if you remember we studied it at church a while back, but it showed up again in the prayer book I'm doing.

"So do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

I hope you are doing well and trying to stay dry. Its been raining quite a bit here. I'll keep reporting news as it happens around here. Love you lots!!

<3 SJ

August 16, 2012

The Ranger

Sorry I did not write the last few days. I didn't get a chance and I didn't have pen and paper with me. So I spent the last couple of days on Mt. Yonah. We could see Miley Cirus's summer house from there. Its really big and has its own mountain. So the hike up wasn't terrible. Me and F have done harder, faster. It just sucked not being in shape. So the first day our was all climbing and rappelling. I got to lead climb which was fun, and I crushed all the routes. Second day was hard because we had to maneuver a "casualty" to the top. That sucked dragging 250lbs up a mountain and make pulley systems to get people and the weight up. I enjoyed it though cause I learned I can walk and ruck where almost no body else can. Apparently, I'm just a mountain man. Tomorrow or this morning I should say, we start platoon tactics training for our patrol days so pray I pay attention and learn so I can pass patrols. I love you bunches and miss you tons. O hope you write lots of letters because I love hearing from you. It always means a lot. Anyway I have to wrap this letter up cause I only get to sleep 3 hours tonight.

Love you

His Love

Hey babe-

I officially mailed in our adoption application today! I'm also sending you the announcement pic. Do you love it? Tonight I finally get to tell your parents. I can't wait. We have video recorded everyone's reaction. So far, Aunt M had the best one. She wanted to see the baby....uh we don't have the baby yet...duh. It was really funny. Today was Jacob's last first day of school. He gets out at 1:30 and then we are picking A up and heading to the climbing center. After climbing we will head to your parents for grilled yumminess and the big announcement. I think your mom might cry.

Okay something more fun. A told me yesterday that Burger King is selling bacon and ice cream sundaes and milkshakes! What a crazy combo. But I thought you might love that. Maybe you could get one on your next pass.

Keep working hard. Only 5 more weeks. I'm praying really hard for you. Last night was for a positive attitude. That makes hard stuff a little more bearable. You are so strong and God gave you such drive and determination. You will be successful because He called you to be. I love you and I'm so proud of you. Keep focused on all the blessings we have been given throughout the Ranger school journey. :) Please pray for our baby girl and her birth mommy. This next year is going to bring so many changes. I love you sooooo much!!! Everyone misses you.

<3 Sarah Jo

The Ranger (again later that day)

What up Babe,

How are you doing? Today wasn't bad. It was about 4 or 5 hours of classes followed by about 12 hours of practical exercise on the same drill which was great. We should be able to execute it in our sleep now which we probably will be doing on the FTX. One funny thing happened . A lizard climbed on me and hung out on my leg for 5 or 10 minutes. So sad thing happened at the end of the day. Today we got mail, but not me. I was sad. you should write more. I like getting letters here. Anyway, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Love you

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:

Week 1 Week 6

        Week 2               Week 7
Week 3                Week 8
Week 4                Week 9

Week 5 Week 10

Week 11

A New Outlook on Fertility

2013-02-26T09:22:00.000-06:00

I woke up Monday morning so excited to start a new week! I had a very special appointment scheduled for 10AM, and I could hardly wait. The appointment was fantastic, and I have soo much to share with you so lets get to it.

First, lets rewind to last week. I went with a dear friend to visit a fertility doctor in Nashville. I was more than happy to support her in this scary process while her hubbie is playing GI Joe is the sand. Now, I will not name this doctor, but I was a little disturbed by the things he told her. I didn't go to medical school, but I pretty sure it is common knowledge that taking a prenatal is a good thing if you are trying to get preggy and food seriously affects your overall health. I won't go any further, but I would not recommend this doctor to anyone. ***If you see a male, fertility specialist in Nashville you are free to email me with any concern.

This appointment caused me to make finding a better approach even more of a priority. I had been given a link to a possible alternative some months back. At the time, I read all I could find on it, but there just isn't that much available. The reason being there are not that many physicians that practice this alternative. So I did one more internet search to find a physician who practiced it a little closer to home. Long story short, through the grace of God, there is a new office right here in Clarksville that just opened up. There is still only one doctor in all of Tennessee who practices, but he will be traveling to Nashville once a month to see patients. What an amazing blessing!

So what is it?

It is called NaProTechnology, and that stands for Natural Procreative Technology. It is comprised of the medical component, NaProTechnology (NaPRo), which is practiced by an OB/GYN and the educational component, NaProEducation, which is taught and supported by a Fertility Care Practitioner (FCP). It sounds NaProConfusing, but it really isn't.

I will see Mary Vozar for the educational portion right here in Clarksville. She also serves the Nashville/Middle TN area. The medical portion is provided by Dr. Gray. He is an OB/GYN who follows NaProTechnology as his main diagnosis/treatment process in Jackson, TN. Yeah little, bitty Jackson.

So Monday morning I had my first appointment to begin my education. I thoroughly enjoyed the information and discussion. I will be going back every two weeks over the next couple months to learn more and more. I will also be seen by Dr. Gray. I haven't scheduled that yet so I'm not sure when. I'll be sure to let you know.

I'm very excited about this new venture. I am, also, very excited that I can share it with you!!

A Ranger and His Love: Week 11

2013-02-22T10:05:00.000-06:00

After 4 tries, Mike finally passed Darby phase of Ranger school and moved onto Mountain phase. We also announced that we were going to adopt to start our family. Little celebrations and finally two-way communication.

5th Ranger Training Brigade, Attempt #1

August 11, 2012

The Ranger

Hey,

I'm on the bus now about 20 minutes out from mountains. It was only about 2-1/2 hour bus ride out, but it felt good to catch a nap. I hope you are doing good. I really wish I could have talked to you longer yesterday, but it was hard to get anything done. Outside it's starting to look like home, bigger and bigger rolling hills, thicker trees. It's nice, but will definitely suck to walk up.

cont. ,August 12, 2012

Well, today was fun. We repelled and tied knots all day so it really wasn't bad. Plus, we get 3 meals a day for the next couple days. Anyway, I'm trying to get this letter to you soon to tell you i'm in BCO 2PLT 2SQD Roster number "###" So you can make sure your wonderful letters get to me. Anyway I didn't have much to say this time, but next letter is sure to have more. I love you so much.

Mike

August 13, 2012

The Ranger

Hey Babe,

I hope you got my last letter so you can send me mail. It looks like when were not in the field its easier to send mail than at Darby. So if time permits, I can send more letters. It's still the beginning of the day. Temp is probably in the 70s. I don't like it. I'm used to hot so at night I'm freezing. So far, I just finished our know test. Passed it. Tomorrow is our hike up Mt. Yonah so that is going to suck bad from what I hear. So pray I keep up. I love you so much.

August 14, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe!

Do you like my new stationary? It's very chic! I hope you are doing well in the mountains of North GA! I miss you tons and have lots to tell you. First, I forgot to tell you the your cousin is preggos...again. Also ____ is going to be a daddy. You are officially going to be a daddy too! Our family knows. I'm taking video of everyone's reaction for you. I just have to tell MJ and your parents. I'm very anxious to tell your parents. They are going to be thrilled. P reacted funny. He got mad that I wasn't actually preggos. Not in a mean way, just in a "well you should be" way. I didn't blame him. I kinda agree. G is thrilled and my parents were more and more excited as I gave them more info.

I also went to the ENT toady and I have to have a CT scan Friday. Apparently, there is actually an issue with my sinuses causing the pain in my nose and my headaches. I might need surgery-BOO!

Anyway, I'm happy with the way God is blessing us with a child. It is the predestined and perfect way. I love you so much and you are already the best daddy. Our little girl's superhero.

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:

Week 1 Week 6

        Week 2               Week 7
Week 3                Week 8
Week 4                Week 9

Week 5 Week 10

Skinny Fat Kid: A Little (grain free) Granola

2013-02-20T12:49:00.000-06:00

It's been several weeks since I told you about my Skinny Fat Kid Challenge. I would like to first clarify a couple of matters that have been brought to my attention, and also share how the challenge is going.

First, I want to make sure that you all understand that I'm not at this to loose weight or achieve some sort of temporary goal. My short term goal is to see if I can heal my body of infertility with food. There is no real scientific proof that I can do this. I have researched on my own and found plenty of evidence that food 100% affects your health. I think this is commonly accepted thought. I have also seen research that suggest that some infertility issues may be the result of diet. This is not proven. I'm not going to share data on these matters because I am not a scientist nor a doctor. I do not want people to think that I am suggesting we can cure infertility, although that would be AWESOME. I'm just trying something different because I am dissatisfied with traditional medical opinion and trying to force my body to do something it should do naturally with things that are not natural. Plus traditional infertility remedies are known to increase risks of cancer and other unwelcome diagnoses.

My long term goal is to live longer than my genetics/blood work says I will. The one thing that I do know is that my genetic disorder is 100% affected by my food choices. If I want to live a long, healthy life, I have to take charge of my health today. I will not die from heart disease that can be prevented. No way! It would be ignorant of me not to make these changes knowing what I know.

So what am I eating?

I eat fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, grass fed/hormone free animal products and very little of anything else at the moment. I am gluten free, soy free, and almost dairy free. It's pretty extreme, but it has also been a slow transition. The only dairy is a grass fed butter, but I'm about over it. I just don't crave/need it for cooking much. I'm also beginning to limit my animal products all together because animal protein has an enzyme that my body doesn't break down well.

Right before Christmas I severely cut the carbs. I refused all sugar except for my Granny's thumbprint cookies that are my favorite and whatever was cooked for our Christmas dinner. I did not over indulge by any means, and to my surprise I actually lost a few pounds.

When I arrived home from Christmas I quickly cleared my pantry of nearly everything. It's crazy how much junk is in the food we consume. Chucking it all was the best way to prevent eating. Then, I started reading and collecting recipes to try. I spent a lot of money the first two weeks. There were so many staple items that I needed to buy. It was just like when you move and have to buy new everything.

To my amazement, everything I made was delicious. I have learned I'm a good cook. I'm not afraid to try new things or twist a recipe to work with the ingredients I have on hand. I've never had so much fun in the kitchen. And I can eat as much as I want, no portioning needed. Did I mention it tastes amazing?!

What results am I seeing?

WOW!

That would pretty much sum it up. I feel great all the time. I sleep better. I wake up easily. I do not feel drained in the middle of the day. My skin is clearer. My waist and hips are slimmer. I feel lighter. Not to be gross, but I'm never bloated. I feel whole and complete and healthy all over. I started working out regularly again, something I didn't do much last year.

This week I started feeling the normal symptoms of ovulation that I felt while on Clomid. That is the best result so far. Not only do I feel great, but I feel normal. This, of course, does not mean that I am/will ovulate or that my PCOS is gone. However, it is encouraging me to continue this lifestyle change so that I can test my blood work in the near future.

The challenges..

Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm a sugarholic.

Whether we choose to admit it or not, we are addicted to sugar. You too. Yes, you. It is in every single thing we eat. Don't believe me? Start looking at the ingredients listed on your food. Sometimes its hidden in other things or funny words, but its there. My Granny checked her applesauce today because I was telling her about the applesauce I made. The front said "NO SUGAR ADDED" and "All Natural", but the ingredients included Apple Cider. There is sugar in apple cider. We are all sugarholics! Food companies have made us this way.

So I'm breaking an addiction. I'm still getting sugar in some forms. Mike sent me chocolate covered strawberries for Valentine's day, and you better bet I ate some of them. I also shared with some friends. Mike wrote on the note ever so slyly that the strawberries canceled out the chocolate. It was sweet and a total lie, but I complied.

It is really hard to eat this way and maintain a social life. The problem is that our culture is so saturated in the unhealthy. I cannot eat out at restaurants unless I eat a simple salad with no dressing. That is lame and not worth the money, quite frankly. When I go to social events, I generally cannot partake in the food without violating the progress I've made. At the same time, I do not want to be rude to a host/hostess nor do I enjoy the explanation of why I can't eat something. It leaves me in a pickle. I'm learning to quickly answer any questioning with "oh, I have health reasons why I can't" and then change the subject real fast. I don't want to be questioned nor do I want to make others who are eating the unhealthy food feel awkward because they can't get enough of that cake. Sometimes, I just have one bite of whatever it is, compliment the cook, and move on. I'm not going to die from one bite, and it avoids the issue.

My other challenge is eating on the go. I'm cooking all this great food, but what do I eat when I forget to eat and need something asap. Well...its not Wendy's. I learned that the hard way. I left church at 9:30 one night a few weeks ago and felt my blood sugar drop. I had nothing at home, and I decided eating was better than passing out trying to cook. Wrong! I had migraines every morning for nearly a week after. Not worth it. I haven't had anything fast since. My only solution thus far is not forgetting to eat. I know keeping some easy fruit like an apple or some raw almonds on hand is good too.

A little (grain free) granola...

I'm still learning and researching everyday. I'm learning things about farming in our country, how much the FDA actually sucks (please excuse the harsh tone, but they do), and what foods have the best healing components. It is fascinating, challenging, and I love it. It's not for everyone, but it's hard to argue against God's creation. At the moment I'm trying to figure out where the best place is for me to live to have the most access to everything healthy. Apparently, I may be breaking laws going to Kentucky for my yum yums. So far, I'm thinking California or New Jerusalem with Jesus, but I know there has to be another option for the time being. I know it, unfortunately, isn't Georgia. Anyone think I can get Mike to move to Hippieville? Mmm...yeah I didn't think so. Maybe our own farm. Or The Farm??

These are the things I ponder as I get crunchier.

Our rePostable Home: Getting Started

2013-02-18T17:57:00.001-06:00

Well I announced this new project, and I feel like I'm totally slacking already. Just to recap, I want to make our house organized so that moving is easy. The title of the project is Our rePostable Home because in the Army we move from post to post. It's a little difficult to get started with an organization project. An entire house can be very overwhelming. Where to start? How to budget? Cupboards, pantries, and closests, Oh My! Its more than enough to scare you away.

Budgeting is hard because each space is different. I don't exactly have that figured out well. I do know that I want to stay as cheap as possible, but rooms like the office are going to cost more if I want it done correctly. We'll figure that out together when I get there. You don't, however, have to buy everything from an organizational store. Shop sales and be on the lookout everywhere you go for something that can be functional (and cheap!) for your home. Also, remember that we aren't organizing the entire house at one time as seen on TV shows. We can spread out small purchases over time that don't empty our wallets. $10 here, $20 there can be very effective. I have several months to finish this project and some of my organizational dreams will have to be put on hold until I save up what I need. It's okay to be realistic. Maybe you organize a space as best as possible and make a list of items that would make it even better when you have the resources. Please don't run up your credit card in hopes to gain control over your home. Your house might look good, but you'll just have more chaos to manage.

Now, our starting point. Pick a spot in your home that is already decently organized and small. Focus on that little area, and hopefully, you can overcome that drowning feeling that we start to get when thinking of the whole house...or the garage or the attic. Ah! Back to that small, more calming space.

I chose our master bath. It has drawer space and a decent amount of storage so I already had it looking okay...well I thought I did. Now looking at the pictures, I'm not so impressed. I went to the Dollar Store to find cheap drawer organizers of some sort. I found little bins that can be hooked together to meet individual drawer needs. I also found some generic plastic baskets that I knew could replace the cute decorative baskets I had hidden under the sink. I know we'll find a use for the baskets elsewhere.

My goal was to place as much as possible into baskets/bins so that when its time to move, we just wrap the bins (that sticky plastic wrap works well), place bins in box, and go. Can it get easier? This will work with items that are nonbreakable/smooshable. So I set out the bins and started sorting. It wasn't too hard. The only problem was the drawers were not wide enough for two bins side-by-side. Total bummer. I should have been smart and measured everything before I went shopping. I'm sure I could have also shopped around more and found something different, but I'm happy with my Dollar Store find. I placed as much as possible in the bins and left the larger items loose in the drawer. The bins minimize the space left so larger items are not moving around much. I also added one more bin to this middle drawer (below) after I took these pictures.

These drawers are stacked on top of each other between the two sinks, a pretty common layout. The area under Mike's sink (not pictured) houses our bathroom linens and extra TP because we do not have a linen closet in our master. I know, huge flaw. With the limited space, I keep a limited number of linens here. With just the two of us, its plenty. Plus, I like doing laundry. Total Freak!

The area below my sink is picture above if you scroll up to before and after. Here's the deal ladies...and men that are not like my husband. I don't collect beauty products. We can be so easily guilty of hoarding everything from hair sprays to mascaras. I put a stop to that habit a few years ago. For one, I don't need 5 curling irons (my hair is naturally curly). Second, no one has space for 5 curling irons. Actually, I don't own a curling iron at all anymore. I went a little extreme that one time, and now I'm in the market for..just one.That's all that will fit in the basket. I know this can be hard, but just try to keep only what you use.

All joking aside, one is enough of each type of product. If I try something new, I do my testing and then pick the better one to keep. When things get old, I dispose of them. I have one basket that holds ALL my hair products and my makeup bag. My makeup bag holds ALL my make up. I have a small bag that also fits in the makeup bag that holds my brushes, a tip I learned from my sister to keep them clean. My makeup bag is not tiny nor is it huge. If you look to the far right image you can see my iPad sitting behind it. It's about that size and 4 inches wide. It holds everything I use daily and enough stuff to get glitzy for a ball.

In all, I spent $7 plus tax at the Dollar Store to completely organize this room. Not too bad. Duchess and Chloe supervised the project for the hour and a half it took to do. I'm going to go ahead and do the guest bath and upstairs linen closet. (watch Facebook for pics) Again less is more in these spaces. They should be simple. Now what to do next???

A Ranger and His Love: Week 10

2013-02-15T20:16:00.000-06:00

4th Ranger Training Brigade, Attempt #4

July 31, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe,

I hope you are well. I have had king of a rough couple days. The dogs have/had fleas. Hopefully they are gone now. The high grass caused that. I mowed the yard, treated the dogs, and washed them. I also have dealt with the security system, traded one annoyance (the garage door) for another (buzzing panel.) Boo! Hopefully they will have that fixed within 48 hours. And not to be a total downer, but we have a roof leak over the bay window :( I have three contractors lined up for estimates. One is our builder. He actually came by himself to check it out. The damage is minimal so don't freak. We just have to find the source. All in all, Monday was slightly stressful, but I have it all under control. We may have to delay some adoption stuff, but thats okay since really we have to wait for you to be home to get things oving.

So I hope you are healthy and focused. I've been praying for you A LOT! I pray that you are focused and alert and positive. Don't let negative thoughts hold you captive in a tough situation. I also pray that God gives you His strength and that you accept it humbly. I'll keep praying! I can't wait to talk to you!! I love you to the moon!!!

"Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you,yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10

"Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." -2 Corinthians 10:3-5

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

These letters are very candid, and through sharing them, you can take a deep look at our life in 2012. You can read about the behind the scenes emotions and discussions that we have had regarding our biggest revelations and announcements. These letters were our main communications, something not so common anymore. From this unique perspective, you will see how a love can grow deeper and lives can change despite the time spent apart.

Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.

My Deployment Project

2013-02-12T13:54:00.001-06:00

Every deployment deserves some well defined goals. Setting goals and working toward them is a common way that many military spouses keep their routines, move forward each day, and well, simply destract themselves from the realities of seperation. I'm a big fan of this tactic. Not only is it good for keeping busy, but hopefully, goals are achieved and daily life improves. Many wives get fit, lose weight, learn to better manage their lives, or simply become more social with other spouses.

Last year, while dear hubbie was suffering in Ranger school, I set out to learn how to sew. It was fun, creative, and productive. And now I am able to make clothing to sell. I set a fun goal and now it is paying off. I was able to not only fill my days with something fun and pass the time while he was away, I learned a new skill that is continuing to better my life. Deployments can be a great time for self improvement.

Well, this deployment I've had a different goal in the back of my mind, and I'm glad to say it is time to get down to business. We are already a third of the way done. I better hurry up. My goal this year is to turn my house into the Container Store! Okay, that may be extreme. What I want to do is create easy efficient organization in as many areas of my home as possible. My dearest friends are thinking, "um...SJ your house is organized." I know, the lack of kids does have a small perk. Also, my personality type doesn't allow for disfunction, but there is a bigger picture that needs to be understood to really follow my logic.

Last week we received news that really intensifies the need for my deployment project. We're PCSing! (civi-talk: Permanent Change of Station - the Army is moving us.) Is that big enough?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves. One big important detail - We have 15 months left in our current home. I was really shocked that we found out the move date so far in advance. I new it was coming, and my timeframe estimate was pretty accurate. I must be learning the to think like the Army, but usually the Army isn't so forthcoming with details.

So May 2014 will send us to a new house to organize and make home for a short time. When I say short, I mean short. We will be in the next home for only 6 months before moving again. Hopefully, you are starting to see the need for extreme organization.

The simple fact is that a military family moves....a lot. Mike and I are in our 5th home. We've been married 5 years, and we have actually lived here for 20 months. This is our longest stay yet. We need a home that is ready to move at all times. That is percisely what I'm setting out to achieve. It will not be easy, but it will be on a budget and will be completed....before we move.

Please follow along as I create Our rePostable Home.

A Ranger and His Love: Week 9

2013-02-06T09:20:00.000-06:00

On June 29th, I received a call from Mike. He had completed RAP week and done well. However, he had injured his back somewhere on one of the courses. Friday morning, June 29th, he made a wise decision to report the injury and go to sit call. He spent the day getting x-rays and speaking with the PAs and a doctor. He needed to heal before he could move forward with the course. He allowed some time to rest and then assigned small tasks each day while he waited for the next class to start. We were able to talk on the phone every day. He spent his 26th birthday alone at Ranger school. I also made a weekend trip to Fort Benning during this time so we could make a decision about adoption. He did not have to repeat RAP week so his 4th attempt at Ranger school began on July 26, 2012

4th Training Brigade, Attempt #4

July 26, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe-

Well today was your first day back. I hope it went okay. I;m in the middle of mowing the yard. The grass is kicking the mowers butt. Its not acting right. I hope it keeps working. Today I also hung the new sheers in the kitchen (they look awesome), took our adoption pics, applied for 8 jobs, and will finish the yard before sunset...hopefully. I'm sure you did way more than me before I even woke up. I also have done more research and found an agency (largest in US) that I feel good about.

The Olympics start tomorrow night. I'm going to try to watch while I babysit H & D. Oh, they had to start some events early and there was a bug screw up. Women's socccer...When N. Korea was about to play, they displayed S. Korea's flag and the team stormed off the field. oops!! I love you bunches.

<3SJ

July 28, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe-

I'm so exhausted from last night. I kept H & D by myself for 4 hours. We can't have kids that close in age. D had to be held the entire time, but refused the wrap. And, unfortunately, H isn't quite old enough to feed herself. Overall it went well, but man it was tough. I tried to catch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, but that was hard. It kinda sucked. Everone on FB is saying Beijing was way better. The cool part was the torch at the end. You'll have to YouTube that. Oh and China's flag bearer was like 7 feet tall. Ha! In other news, Chik-fil-A "hates" gay thing is still everywhere. Aug. 1st is now Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day as per Mike Huckabee. If you love CFA you are suppose to eat it that day. I will comply. Crazy thing though...FB shut down their page for a while. Its getting ugly and so intolerant.

Well I have been praying for you lots. Today's prayers are focused on your mental health, but I always pray for you back. Just consider this a trial and trials are opportunities to show our faith and trust God. "Consider is a great joy"

I love you to the moon!

<3 SJ

I also drew this picture on the back with the caption, "I miss babysitting together. It's much easier."

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

The Call

2013-02-06T08:29:00.000-06:00

Something amazing happened in early January. I wanted so badly to share. You may remember me asking for prayer on Proulxville's Facebook page. Here is why....

January 7th, I was cooking breakfast and taking care of 3 dogs (my two and the Blue Heeler stray) when my phone announced "DROID." Everyone hated that I never changed that, but I looked forward to that sound in the morning...must be Mike saying hello.

Well, it wasn't Mike. I look at my phone and could not believe what I was reading. This was the message:

"Sarah Jo I just got this message....Baby boy to be born early Feb. Mom wants closed adoption. Would be direct private...take custody at hospital. Message or call asap for details!! (Going to be born in Calhoun County Alabama)"

My heart leaped into my throat. Anniston!?!! I can't really explain the emotion of a first call regarding a potential adoption. I wasn't ready for it. I had come to an understanding with God that this would take longer than we thought. And this baby was not through our agency. Could we really find an adoptable child without the assistance of an agency? And to be born in the same hospital as Mike?! And the same hospital that both of our moms (and basically half our family) was born in?!! Was this real? We could be surrounded by family instead of potentially on the other side of the country alone. Amazing!!

Of course, I immediately responded and the woman who had the information contacted me within about ten minutes. What a crazy and absolutely amazing moment!

Without giving details, I will have to say that now this potential adoption is very unlikely to move forward. The baby is due this week. It was, of course, disappointing, but I will never question a mom's desire to parent. I understand that emotion and need. I know all our Calhoun County family probably jumped for joy a couple paragraphs ago, but maybe there will be another opportunity.

Regardless, we know that God is faithful, and it is very clear that He is at work. To receive a call from a person I have never met, who thought of us first I might add, is beyond divine. Our story is spreading and those of you out there sharing it are joining us on this journey. Your love and prayers are more meaningful than we could possibly express.

I just wanted to share the update as I know many of you are anxious to see us become parents. This event placed us one step closer for a moment and is surely to happen again. We so look forward to the next call.

Fill Her Boots with Jewels Fundraiser

2013-02-02T13:05:00.000-06:00

I am so insanely excited to announce that we have a new fundraiser starting today!!

We will be selling Premier Jewelry! And 100% of the profits will go to the Fill Her Boots adoption fund!!! Can you tell by all the "!" that I'm so excited?!?!

Do you love Premier Jewelry? Yeah, me too! I literally where it everyday. In fact, I have a special piece that I have been wearing everyday for the past year. It has become a daily reminder of the promise God has made us.

It is a small silver band that simply says "HOPE." I wear it on my right ring finger, and it is the one piece of Premier Jewelry that I do not remove. For me it is a reminder to pray, be thankful, and continue to hope for the future.

Not long after we announced we would be adopting, I was approached by a very special jeweler about interest in a fundraiser. She didn't know how incredibly much I love the jewelry that she sells. I had never purchased from her. She also didn't know about the ring that I wear. (I guess she knows now...) You can see why I feel this fundraiser is straight from God.

If you have never heard of Premier Jewelry you are in for a treat. God sure has been working great things in this company for many years. Premier Jewelry is high quality, fashion jewelry that looks great on everyone. I don't just wear that ring everyday, I always have something Premier complete my outfit. The jewelry makes me feel more confident and look more put together, even if I'm just grocery shopping.

Can we see it?? Of course, you can.
This is the jewelry featured in the new spring catalog.

How do we Fill Her Boots with Jewels??

Easy, just contact me to place an order. Just scroll to the top and use those little icons on the right. We can get together for coffee, or we can plan a party. I'd love the opportunity to share our story with other women.

Also, watch the facebook page for new looks and jewelry must haves that will be featured. If you see something you like, just comment or message me.

A Ranger and His Love: Week 8

2013-02-01T15:00:00.000-06:00

Mike came home from his first attempts at Ranger school on March 21, 2012. He spent half of April at Fort Carson, Colorado training for deployment. May was business as usual, and we finally started getting back into a routine. In June we took a good two week vacation. On Saturday, June 23, 2012, Mike loaded up the jeep and headed back to Fort Benning, Georgia to have another go at Ranger school.

4th Training Brigade, Attempt #3

June 27, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe-

I hope you are doing well. I haven't heard from you so I assume you passed your run and just have the ruck march left to tackle. I'm on the back porch with Chloe. Its hot, but we've had a nice breeze the past couple days so I can let the dogs on the porch to play. They like it. I hope the weather is okay for you. I wonder if hurricane Debby is giving you rain. I'm getting ready to pack up and head to Pigeon Forge today...My dad called this morning with this list of activities he wants to do while I'm home. Hiking, lake, climbing center, hanging pictures, etc. He said he would also help research new wheels for the jeep. :) He likes to do that. I think he is excited I'm coming home. He cleaned my room up yesterday and everything. Well I just want you to know I love you to the moon and I miss you bunches already. I'm praying for you always. You are so strong and smart. Keep working hard for us babe.

<3 SJ

June 28, 2012

His love

Hey Babe-

I wanted to write a quick note this morning before our activities today. I'm at my parents. i got in last night. Today Jacob, Dad, and I are hiking the chimneys! I'm really excited about it. They have been complaining of the heat. Its suppose to be 103 degrees in Pigeon Forge tomorrow. They just don't know what hot is. Its been over 100 after dark at home all week. How hot is Benning? I hope not too bad. In the news...Colorado is up in flames. The pics of the neighborhoods burning are insane. Pike's Peak is on fire! Also, Egypt has a new president. He is a member of the Muslim brotherhood, hates Israel naturally, and wants to join forces with Iran...Not cool. Also, today is the big day for the judgement on Obama-care. I'm praying its unconstitutional. Its a historic day, and I'll be sure to write you the results tomorrow. You should be doing classes today so I hope you are staying awake. Okay, got to go hike!! Love you!!!

<3 SJ

June 29, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe-

Oh the things to tell you today...First something nice...Mom prayed for you at breakfast this morning. For God to lend you his strength and wisdom. Be on the look out for it. :) We just saw on the calendar you jump tomorrow so we'll definitely be praying for that. Okay the bad news, Obama-care was approved by the Supreme Court 5 to 4. 3 of the 5 were women...stupid girls. The one black guy voted against. Its a mess now. Romney says he'll repeal it if voted to presidency. Since 70% of the country was against it maybe it will boost Romney's camp. We'll see.

Anyhow, Mom and I are playing mother duck to the four duck eggs that Tucker didn't kill. We crafted an incubator and found online how to tell if the egg is still viable. They look good and we saw one baby duck moving inside! You turn the lights out and shine a flashlight on the egg and see the shadow. Hopefully, they will hatch in the next week and then we have to rehabilitate them into the wild. It's not exactly legal because in TN you can't take home wild animals, but the mama probably got eaten by the huge bobcat that is running loose. We are under the instruction though of a wildlife rehabilitator that Mom found so hopefully we do it right. We are having fun nonetheless.

I hope you are doing well. I've prayed for you to have good men in your squad and for your success. I love you so much and I'm so proud of you!

<3 SJ

He did not have to repeat RAP week so his 4th attempt at Ranger school began on July 26, 2012

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Messy Jessy the Duchess of Proulxville

2013-01-28T15:59:00.000-06:00

Somewhere in my crazy mind I'd like to think there is a place in this world where it would be perfectly normal to have a proper coming out for our dog princesses. I may be little loco...but I'm going to pretend for a moment.

At the Puppy Debutant Ball, all the new puppies are freshly groomed and perfumed, nails perfectly filed and painted. They wear beautiful, couture dresses and....wait, your dogs don't wear dresses???

This is the moment that my dear husband is sitting in his 6x8 plywood box in the sand saying, "NO, NO, NO! That's my dog!!! No dresses!" Don't stress, honey, I only gave her a bow. She's just so darn cute I couldn't help myself.

I would like to formally introduce you to our new addition. She is a 4 month old Great Pyrenees, and we love her. She is Mike's dog and thus, he named her so graciously after her Aunt Jessy. Really, we just call her The Duchess, but I insisted that all duchesses have first names. He said no the don't. To which I responded. Hello...Kate. So he picked Messy Jessy, a nickname my sister acquired at a very young age. Like many small children, she just had a hard time staying clean. I rolled with it.

"~~Why on earth~~ How did you get her?" you might ask.

When our dear friend, the blue heeler, came to stay with us, I searched all over craigslist for his mommy and/or daddy. With no success I should add. Meanwhile, Mike was slightly disappointed we couldn't keep him. Blue Heelers are great dogs, but not always the best with small children. They tend to nip as they try to herd kids around the yard. I did, however, stumble upon this little jewel. A pure Great Pyr can be hard to find in some areas. Around here, there are breeders who mostly sell to farmers. There are waiting lists and females are pricey. Also, very important note, Mike has wanted a Great Pyrenees for a really long time. Duchess had been adopted by another military family new to the area who just were not quite ready for a giant dog. So they kindly gave her to me. Blue ended up going to the shelter to find a forever family.

We are now 3 weeks into puppy school and have only suffered minor casualties in our home. Last Thursday, I came home from the gym to find she had unplugged the kitchen TV, and, well, mangled it. Oops! So she likes to chew...a little. At least she knows better than to touch my designer boots.

We are working on getting her a fence in the backyard and a job. More on the job later. For now we are focusing on her training, making sure she doesn't play Dis-A-Pyr, and ....Oh no don't lick the outlet! Oh goodness. Her fault at the moment is her disgusting, audible farts. I didn't know a dog could do that. She'll be able to hang with the guys when they get home.

She may be sounding ~~slightly~~ very much like a Messy Jessy, but soon enough she'll be just like her aunt and be the best princess ever. After all, she is The Duchess and her Aunt Jessy really is a princess.

All You Ever Do Is Clean

2013-01-26T10:36:00.000-06:00

Today, I'm cleaning house. According to Mike, that is all I ever do...Mmm, he could be right. But there is an important reason that I do.

In honor of that, I want to share a previous post that I really enjoyed writing and fits the theme for this busy Saturday. Follow the link below to continue reading.

A Ranger and His Love: Week 7

2013-01-25T15:16:00.002-06:00

4th Training Brigade, Attempt #2

The Ranger wrote letters during this second attempt, but his letters were never delivered.

March 6th, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe-

So while I'm writing right now there are still two previous letters in the mailbox. I missed the mailman yesterday, oops! I'm getting ready to go vote! But I had such a good day yesterday I wanted to write you. First, I started grooming the pups at 7:30AM. That was a chore. I finished in 3 hours and your little Ellie has the most downy soft fur right now. She is so cute. I ran some errands...boring. I found some cute fabric on clearance at Wal-Mart! And then I came home and made a tote bag complete with applique and monogram and a Kleenex pouch to match (it covers those little travel Kleenex packs.) I'm very proud of myself. I think you would be impressed. Joe came over for dinner. I made BBQ Nachos and they were pretty good. Joe and I are going to probably stay at your parents April 20-22 so he can go to the Mountain Man March. Should be fun. I haven't asked them yet though. I'm hoping you graduate the next week. Okay- going to go vote for ______. I love you and miss you like crazy.

<3 SJ

March 13th, 2012

His love

Hey Babe-
I just got back from Dr. Lisa's office. Just had more blood drawn for all the genetic tests. I still don't have any test results. The first ones are in but not signed off to be release to me. I did make an appointment for 3/23 (Friday) to get all the results at once. This is going to be a major day. Please mark your calendar to be praying and thinking about me that morning. I got a list of all the test being run so I can research and be educated for that appointment. I wish so badly you could be there with me.....
I love you to the moon and miss you all the way back.

<3 SJ

Mike ended up failing his second attempt at Ranger school and was sent home just in time to go to the appointment with me on March 23rd, 2012. This was when we were given my infertility diagnosis, and we learned that our journey to parenthood would be long and hard. It was difficult for Mike to fail. What man wants that blow to his ego? But God's timing was beautiful. I needed my husband in that hour more than he needed a Ranger tab.

But don't worry, he returned to Ranger school and our letters continued.

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Dear Birth Mother

2013-01-23T11:04:00.000-06:00

I have been AWOL for nearly two weeks...oops. I certainly didn't intend for that, but other matters became more pressing. A lot has been happening around here, and a certain writing assignment I've been given in this adoption process was way past due. This item needed to be priority over any other writing I did, and this is how long it took for me to complete. In actuality, I completed it about a dozen times, but only once to my satisfaction. Alas, it is done, I can talk about it, and I can move on to other things.

The item I had to write was a "Dear Birth Mother" letter. This is a piece of a families puzzle that a birth mom receives when trying to choose the perfect couple to parent her child. It usually tells about the family, how much they look forward to parenting, and what they have to offer all packaged into a one to two page personal note.

Needless to say it is the hardest writing assignment a person can receive. I would say right up there with writing a eulogy for a person dear to you. (Not that I have experienced that, but I could imagine.) What do you say to the person who changes your life forever, but will not be a permanent physical fixture in your daily living?

If I had the answer, this would not have taken me months to complete. When I started to try to write this in September I sat at my computer and stared at a blank screen. Then I cried. Good first attempt. But the following dozen attempts over the next few months followed the exact same pattern. Sit down, open file, cry, go get tissue (eventually I just brought it with me), compose myself, decide to try again tomorrow. Over those months, I wrote about two sentences that made it to the final draft.

Recently, I spent extra time in scripture and an amazing thing happened. The words that needed to be said in this letter just started to flow. With only a couple tears this time, I sat down to write, and it came. I believe those words came straight from God and that they will strike the heart of the mom who will choose us. They are written only for her.

Now, the approach I took for writing this letter may be different than most. First, my letter was from me only, not from Mike. Most couples write together. I don't want to discount Mike's input or desire to become a dad, but the letter is written to a mom. Sorry men, you just don't fully get our world. I should also say that Mike doesn't mind. He gets plenty of coverage in our profile.

Second, this letter is very personal so I'm treating it as such. As much as I would love to share it on the blog and have it passed around the internet for many moms to see, I will not. If a mom is interested then I will make sure she receives it, but it is special and private. I guess it could have the label, "serious applicants need only apply."

Last, I wrote what was true in my heart and what I believed she needed to know. I don't believe a mom really cares about how many cars you have or how big your house is. Though, those factors might show your ability to provide for a child, it is not love. I don't think a mom wants to hear about your struggle to conceive, but rather about the depth of your desire to parent in a loving matter. I think she wants to know that you will tell her child about her, that her child will be taught to love her, that her child will not think he or she was abandoned but loved very deeply. I spoke to the fears a mom faces and how those fears would be cast out. It's a real and raw message of a beautiful future for her and her child, and I meant every word that was written. I spoke of love and truth.

When I finally was able to hand the words over to God, when I allowed him to lead, it was so easy. The letter is written. It is waiting and ready to be read. It was the last item that needed completing before we could be presented to moms. Now the only task left is one of perseverance and patience.

We pray.

A Ranger and His Love: Week 6

2013-01-11T18:22:00.005-06:00

4th Training Brigade, Attempt #2

The Ranger wrote letters during this second attempt, but his letters were never delivered.

March 4, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe-

I hope you are still healthy and warm. It was kinda cold out today. Mostly because I have gotten used to the warm weather. How was your day? The calendar for today says "Ambush PE"...not sure what that means. I had a pretty good day. Woke up to Ellie crying to go out (kinda weird for her.) I went to church. The sermon was on Daniel 2 and was kind of confusing. It was a deep scripture, but I like that our pastor isn't afraid to tackle tough scripture. When I got home I cleaned a little in the kitchen and sat down to ear some veggies and flan (I'll make it for you-super yummy). Then M texted that J was coming over to cookout and I should come too. A minute later J called to tell me he was coming to pick me up. Haha. Like I had a choice. We got to try G's homemade beer. It was surprisingly delicious, kinda like Yuengling. I was impressed. We had fun. Now I'm just cleaning a bit and waiting for the season premier of Army Wives at 8pm!!! CANNOT WAIT!

Okay I found a good quote for you last night online. "The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph." -Thomas Paine I thought that might be encouraging.

I found on for me too. "To hope means to be ready at every moment for that which is not yet born, and yet not become desperate if there is no birth in our lifetime." -Emily Dickenson Almost sounds like something that could have been found in the Old Testament referring to Jesus, but also can be applied in Operation Baby :)

I also ran across something in a blog talking about how we wish so hard for something God hasn't blessed us with yet (i.e. a child), but we can forget to be thankful for all the blessing we have. My goal today was to make a lists of all the blessings in my life. I actually cried tears of joy as I wrote it and really saw clearly how rich our life is. We have far more than we deserve. I'm including 2 index cards with my top blessings. I thought you could write yours on the flip side. When you feel down it might just pick you back up. Send one copy back to me. I hope you have a good week. I'm still praying for you.

I love you and miss you.

<3SJ

CLICK HERE to find my list of blessings written that day.

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4

Week 5

The Dog Lady

2013-01-10T09:39:00.000-06:00

Our little friend from last week is still with us. He really is sweet and lovable. I'm currently waiting on the shelter to give their okay to take him to the vet and get him on their adoption list. He needs all his vaccinations updated and his leg looked at. Poor guy, its not better. We are thinking it could be a heredity hip displasia. So in the meantime, he is camped out in my garage and in the backyard as long as its sunny.

I should fess up and say I almost failed at this project. A couple of days ago my Chloe growled at him, and he ran away with his tail tucked. I couldn't find him. I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I tried." He was running around loose to begin with so maybe that's what he prefers. I went about my chores. An hour later I looked out the window, and he was back on the leash in the yard. I guess I have kind and concerned neighbors. Thank you neighbors.

I can't say if I was more disappointed that he ran away or that he magically appeared back. Don't get me wrong. He's cute and sweet and deserving of a good home. Its just not this home. He doesn't fit. Chloe doesn't like him.

Mike, who loves anything furry, wanted to keep him. Of course, the guy clear on the other side of the world will advocate for the wild Blue. When I said no way, I know he was disappointed. He has wanted a big dog, a dog of his own for a long, long time. Back when we were poor college apartment dwellers it wasn't too hard to reason against a big dog and thus is why we have little, bitty Ellie. Nowadays, I don't have those excuses. Oh wait, yes I do. We want to start a family. We can't have a dog like Blue around a baby.

So I proceeded to try to find owners. No luck. I didn't get a single response. Total bummer. But what I did find is going to probably shock you...

She is a beautiful, 3 month old Great Pyrenees. I should mention she is also Mike's dream dog. Big, loving, pretty, and quite wonderful with children. I called and got her immediately. Mike couldn't be happier. I couldn't be more exhausted....okay, its not a baby so maybe I could get less sleep.

She has been really good. Only a couple of accidents, and I've had her almost a week. Not too bad for potty training. She is a quick learner and already has the sit command down. We are working on waiting for permission to eat and come. I told Mike we were going to have to go to puppy school. A dog that will be bigger than me has to behave.

A little funny quirk about her. I was looking for training pointers online and read about how they kind of yodel when they cry. Its a pitiful sound. The writer recommended playing a little old school country music to help calm the dog when they are going in the car or in a crate. So the first night in her crate she starts yodeling. I reached over to my ipad and started playing music. She didn't like the Temptations, she isn't wild about Taylor Swift. Then I played some pickin banjo and she was out in 30 seconds. This dog likes blue grass. Every time she cries I play that song and she's out. Dog after my heart.

So I know that I'm crazy with a house full of dogs, but just to make it a little worse, we are prepping for visitors tonight. My parents and brother are coming here for the night and flying out to Colorado Friday morning. They are bringing Tucker, my brother's Jack Russell. He will be our house guest for the week while my family enjoys their ski vaca.

That brings the grand total to FIVE dogs. So I'm a dog lady. It's going to be interesting around here. If I'm AWOL and you don't hear from me, pray for my sanity. I just opened a can of worms.....no make that a kennel.

This Chair's Got Some New Shoes On

2013-01-05T13:39:00.001-06:00

I spent most of the Summer and Fall traveling back and forth between my home and my parents home. Its a little over a four hour drive so its not too bad. My projects were affected by so much travel and Mike's brief return home, but I have a special project that deserves mentioning.

I stopped by my grandmother's office in downtown Sevierville one afternoon as I was arriving into town. As I was walking in, I looked across the street and saw something wonderful in the window of the Salvation Army.

This gorgeous wingback chair was just calling to me. "Sarah....take me home. Sarah....make me cute again. Sarah....I'm only $60." I love when furniture talks, but I was busy. I continued on with my day and kept thinking about that lonely, lost puppy of a chair. It needed a good home. The next day I suckered my dad into driving me over and helping me get it. We pulled up and there it was so happy to me coming back for it.

As we walked in, my dad said offer $40 for it. "What? It's only $60." My dad convinced me to try and bargain. Just a side note....I love a good sale, but I don't barter. I thought $60 was an amazing price, but there I was asking, "would you take 40?" "mmm....I could take 45." DEAL! I walked out of that Salvation Army with they chair and $15 still in my pocket.

I couldn't wait to get home to work on my new project. I went to Lowe's first and bought some lovely blue spray paint for the legs. I had to sand and use some wood filler to fix a chew mark on one of the legs. I'd have to kill my cute puppies if they tried to eat my furniture like that even if it was an easy fix. Then, I went shopping for fabric. I found a great grey chevron duck at Hobby Lobby. Woohoo! I went back home and printed a 40% off coupon and figured how much I would need. I bought 6 yards and later ended up going back for two more. In the end I only used 7 yards so I still have a little to make pillows. The fabric in all was about $60 because I forgot the coupon the second time.

As I got working on this I ended up needing a few more supplies. I had a staple gun and enough staples amazingly at home already. I had to buy some Ply-grip, tack-strip, upholstery thread, and a new zipper. This totaled another $35. I reused as much as I could from the chair like the dust cover and the cotton. In the end I spent about $140 and now have this beautiful chair in my living room.
My overall costs could have been smaller, but now I have materials for the next re-upholster project. I just need a great deal on fabric!

A Ranger and His love: Week 5

2013-01-04T11:12:00.002-06:00

Last week, we left off with Valentine's day notes. Very sweet. February 17th, 2012 Mike learned that he had failed his first attempt at Ranger school because he was too caring for his fellow soldiers. That is apparently a sign of weakness to the Ranger Training Brigade. In the real Army, it is important to keep your soldiers well-being in check. Soldiers will perform better if they are in good health and are well prepared. Oh well, here goes his second attempt...

4th Training Brigade, Attempt #2

The Ranger wrote letters during this second attempt, but his letters were never delivered. Very, very sad.

March 2, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe-

I love you and miss you so much. I hope that you have received the wet weather top. I didn't include a note cause I had to hurry to get it mailed. Sorry for that, but it was more important that a note. How has the weather been? At our house we have had a mix of beautiful mid-70s days and sunshine and tornados. Quite the combo. Right now we are expecting to have long tornado storms all afternoon. I'm getting ready by gathering what I need in the pantry. Hopefully, the hail won't destroy your Jeep. The wind is blowing the dogs around the backyard, and Chloe is a mess. 4 people in TN died this week already. There were 11 tornadoes in KY. There have been a couple in AL this morning. I'm keeping the TV on and planning on canceling Op Hero today. It's sad because my kids won't get their pizza party, but oh well.

In other news, Davy Jones of the Monkees died, a politician (age 42) died but I didn't catch his name, and a kid in OH brought a gun and knife to a school he didn't go to and killed 3 kids. Phil Valentine says the grim reaper is on the loose.

Anyway, I'm having a pretty good week. Mission Baby has commenced! I'll keep you updated on all the test results. Please keep praying for me, and I'll do the same for you. I hope you are learning new tid bits that will help you pass. I love you so much, and I'm sooo proud of you!!

<3 SJ

March 3, 2012

His love

Hey Babe-

I hope you are doing well. I've been wondering about the weather there. I hope you got my package in time. I wrote TA-50 really big on it. Not a lot to report to you today. My kids graduated Op Hero this morning. They were cute. None of the bad kids came. That speaks a lot to the parenting they are receiving. It is sad. I have all next week off. M and I are going to hang out. I'm glad. I miss her. Oh President Obama visited Nick yesterday. It was a surprise. When they mentioned a surprise visitor on Facebook I was hoping for Taylor [Swift]. She did send him a T-shirt, CD and signed pic that said I <3 Nick. That's pretty cool. You can tell R that Nick is winning. :)

I also wanted to share a verse that meant a lot to me this evening. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." A very common verse, but that last part really spoke to me for us. God does have a plan for us. We will be parents someday in his time. I called the doc office and our results are in, but they couldn't give them to me until Dr. Lisa signs off on it. Hopefully we'll have those next week, and I'll get the genetic tests done too! I don't really know if I should give you results through the mail. How do you feel about that? What if its bad? I don't want to distract you or worry you. I'm staying strong, and I have lots of support with all the girls. I also started reading others stories online. God makes people parents in so many different ways. Have you gotten to Samuel yet? "And she made a vow, saying, 'O Lord Almighty, if you will only look upon your servants misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life.'" 1 Samuel 1:11 My current prayer. I love you to the moon and miss you all the way back.

<3 SJ

For further reading: