Proverbial Mind Candy

Can You Feel The Pressure?

2011-05-23T06:39:00.000-05:00

I know that most of our readers here on PMC are adults but prom season has prompted me to write about the pressures of losing your virginity. This is because many teens are pressured into losing it on prom night. It seems that a lot of young adults (especially guys) look at virginity as if it’s something to get rid of before starting their life. I’d bet that a lot of youngins would be surprised to know that statistically most people regret their first time and usually report that they wish they had held on to their V longer. With that said I confess that I held my V card all throughout college and still had a freaking blast. I learned through observation that when it comes to being young that…no sex+no babies=mucho fun. So with that said I would like to point out that I’m not saying don’t have sex until you get ~~married~~ that degree, but my point is don’t do it until YOU are ready. Like they say, peer pressure can be a mutha so if you do decide to ‘get rid of it’ before heading off be sure to be safe (condoms, birth control) and remember to be above the influence.

For information about peer pressure you can visit
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/friends/peer_pressure.html

Lottery Ticket

2010-08-27T07:00:00.001-05:00

The upcoming movie "Lottery Ticket" featuring Bow Wow has been getting a lot of press. This movie has many people asking themselves...What would I do if I hit the lotto and who could I trust?

First of all it would depend on the amount I won, but lets just say 3 mil. I would:
-Pay off all of my debt (ex: school loans, mortgage, etc)
-Quit my daytime job & focus on my passions
-Invest & Save (my future kids would appreciate this)
-Move (So what...theres no way I'm gonna be driving my new Mercedes through the hood everyday!)
-Help out friends and fam in need & donate to charity (It ain't no fun, unless we all get some)

I don't know about new relationships. That would be tricky. I think I'd be afraid that people in general were after my cash. That's why I would have to keep it on the hush. So what about you guys? What would you do if you won a few mil in the lotto & would you drop your current boo, or would you stay because of trust issues?

20 Universal Guilty Pleasures

2010-08-20T06:00:00.003-05:00

As long as the world exists there will be a few things that we don't want anyone to find out that we like, love, or participate in when no one is looking. Some of these things only apply to men, women, or both. This list of 20 things, which by the way aren't so bad when you really think about it, are things that people in general don't like to admit that they engage in. These are just a few that I came up with that I'm sure most of you will agree with. Enjoy...

20. Erotic kissing- Men generally ACT like they don't like to kiss but actually, most guys love it. No need to hide this guilty pleasure. We women LOVE this one too. :D

19. Latin Men- I think it's safe to say that most sistas wouldn't mind letting a muy caliente latin man set them on fire. Kind of our hidden fantasy If I may. To the sistas, these men are the equivalent to some brothas and their love for the White woman. See #9

18. Puppies & Kittens- Now we all know that these little furry things are undeniably cute and irresistible but for some reason, men don't like to admit this. That's like not admitting that Idris Elba or Beyonce is sexy. If you deny it then you lie!

17. Soap Operas-These addictive daily shows have a stigma of only being watched by older overweight ladies that do nothing but stay at home all day. I'll tell you one thing, I like them and I know several guys that like them, and watch them. Word to my college classmate Chris C. for putting me up on Passions ( My Fav Soap that went off the air in 2007) Whyyyyyy???

16. The gray area between cheating and not-This really needs no explanation. Bottom line...Some people like to play with fire. Just make sure you don't get burned.

15. Chick TV shows-Sex & The City, Friends, Gossip girl, etc. It's not very manly to admit that you know who Carrie Bradshaw met at Club Whatever and hooked up with on the umpteenth episode of S&TC, but surprisingly these types of shows have a decent amount of male viewers. They just keep it secret.

14. Texting/Tweeting/FB'ing at church-We love to do this but we know we shouldn't, so we don't admit that we do. That is all.

13. Oral Sex-Most of us do it, have done it, or will do it one day ~~and like it~~. Stop fronting people...it's 2010.

12. Strippers- People (male & female) like to watch strippers. I bet that a stripper sees all kinds of preachers, teachers, doctors, weird emo guys with long black hair....you get my drift. A lot of different types of people, but some would be frowned upon if people knew they were giving ones to Black Ecstasy every Saturday night. Therefore, this is a guilty pleasure.

11. Skipping Work-We love to do this as well as skipping school from time to time but how can we openly admit to this one without putting our jobs or our phone privileges (if underage) in jeopardy, but we do anyway. We just like to suffer I guess.

10. Sneaking and having sex at work-This is something that most of us want to do at least one time in our adult life, but we can never mention it until we have left the job. Why? Because we would surely be fired.

9. White Women- Some brothas have a weak spot for the Beckys (you know who you are) and you want to know how I feel about it??? Well...I really don't care. You know why? Because I don't want someone who doesn't like the sistas anyway. My philosophy on that is...Whatever floats your boat.

8. Cuddling- Ahhh...this is one of my faves, but some men and women that I know HATE it with a passion. "It's hot" or "I'm bored" or "Why do you want to just lay here?" is all you hear from some. I say...give your GF or BF a break and cuddle. It's fun. :)

7. Pop Music- Even women don't like to admit to liking people like Brittany Spears or N*Sync sometimes, but we all tend to fall for a song every now and then that is totally out of our preferred music genre i.e. Marilyn Manson "Dope Show" That used to be my song back in the day!

6. Chick Flicks- From The Notebook to Love Jones, men hate to admit they like girly movies. Why you ask? Well I'm no expert, but my guess is because they are usually about LOVE...something that men hate to admit that they can actually feel.

5. Porn- Men usually will admit to this but women don't like to. The double standard placed on women when it comes to being sexually free causes a lot of us to deny certain guilty pleasures such as this one. Ladies...It's ok to admit that you like to watch things like "Cuming to America." Don't be scurred. ;)

4. The Ex-This will ALWAYS and forever be a guilty pleasure because of the 'Just like the old days' feeling. We have to remember that this person is an ex for a reason, but what if they aren't. There are a few circumstances that happen that cause you and the ex to break it off and still remain totally cool. That's when the problems usually start.

3. Cake- See #2

2. Ice Cream- This is a guilty pleasure because we all love it but we know that THIS and this alone is the reason why we can't fit into our skinny jeans. Yogurt is better for you but we always go with what's not.

1. Masturbating- This one is totally something that you don't admit to (unless of course you're a man), but in a day and age where sex toys are as easy to get as Lil Wayne's ~~semen~~ mixtapes, there is no point in being ashamed anymore. Not. At. All.

Most of these things pertain to men, but you know why? Because women pretty much aren't afraid to admit to much. we will say something like, "Nia Long is sooo pretty" or "She's totally my girl crush" and not feel the need to throw the word, "No Homo" at the end of the statement. It would be nice if guys could openly admit to these guilty pleasures as easily as we women, but that will rarely happen because society won't let them. I'm just sayin...

Question: Is Love A Losing Game?

2010-08-03T06:30:00.000-05:00

The troubled singer Amy Winehouse said it in her song titled Love is a Losing Game but I wonder if that is true. I guess it could be thought of that way when you look at the fact that statistically it seems to support the theory. My thoughts however is that if you face losing a game of love then you have to look at the positives and negatives of the entire thing and weigh them to see if it was worth it. You may not be compatible with the guy/girl you love and therefore it may not work out but in the end you may gain an awesome friend. That is worth it in my book. I think that if you gain either a great friend, some very valuable knowledge of the dating game, or a better idea of the person who you are or the person who you want to be with, then the entire experience is worth it. What do you guys think?

Is love a losing game?

The Dream: Who The Eff is Nikki?

2010-07-26T06:48:00.000-05:00

Unless you are living under a rock, you've heard about The Dreams current relationship troubles with Christina Millian.

You've also seen him pretty much acting like an asshole about everything related to his soon to be ex wife. I don't get this dude. He couldn't even fake being happy when he was in interviews, making snide remarks about the married life not being all it's cracked up to be and, etc.

He seems to put all of his business in his songs. If you've ever heard his single ~~Nivea~~ Nikki, you understand, but with the recent Nikki Pt. 2 out on his new album, I have to ask. Who the eff do you want?? The ex wife or the new ex wife? Soooo what do you guys think about all of this foolishness?

I'm Just Sayin: What's up with guys re-asking for the number?

2010-07-22T07:00:00.007-05:00

All of us females get this. You're at the grocery store or maybe the gas station and you run into a guy who you used to talk to a year or so ago. You make small talk. You go through the how have you beens and what's new drill.
You're still looking good to him so...before you leave, he says something along the lines of..."What's your number" or "Let me get that number again." *pause*

Ok...when this happens, you have to ask yourself a few things.
-First, apparently it didn't work out the first time. Why do you figure I want to try a do-over?

-Second, you think I'm still looking good because if you didn't, you probably wouldn't have re-asked for the number. With that said...what if this last year wasn't as good to you and the attraction is gone.
-Third, if you really liked me to begin with, how come you lost my number? #fail #tryagainnexttime

Now that we've covered those questions...ladies how do you feel when a past guy re-asks for the number and fellas...why the heck do yall do that??

The Rules Of Playing Dating Games

2010-07-19T06:30:00.004-05:00

Ok, so in my post on last Tuesday I asked the question, "When are we too old for dating games?" Thanks for all of your comments letting me know what you guys thought on the matter O_o Anywho, I think that when you play this game there are certain rules that should be applied so that we play fair. Because all IS fair in Love & Basketball. Ummm wait...off subject. Anyway, I have come up with a list of rules that we should all abide by in this crazy game if we are sleeping with each other, and here goes...

1. Never throw a low blow- This can be very messy because oftentimes low blows turn Chris Brown-ish and we don't want that. Attempting to or actually sleeping with your lovers friends or family members or taunting them with subjects that are known to be sensitive spots for them are definitely off limits.

2. Disrespecting them in front of your/their friends- Denying dealing with them or being a plain out a**hole in front of friends is a big no no. If done, this is something that's subject to cause heavy drama. No one likes to be fronted out let alone made to look like a fool.

3. Never sleep with nor befriend their enemy- This is something that can be considered a low blow but I wanted to give it it's own section. This particular thing, if done, can cause a mofo to kill a ninja. Why, you ask? Simply because it in itself is trifling! Straight up.

Well...that's all I can think of right now, what other rules do you guys think should be applied to the dating game that I may have failed to mention? I know we'll get a lot of great additions to this one. *blank stare* Haha We still love you guys. :)

Question: When Are We Too Old For Dating Games?

2010-07-14T06:50:00.011-05:00

When it comes to dating, men and women have been playing games for ages. One would think that by the time you reached your mid twenties playing games would be childs play, something reserved for teens and those alike. Wrong! It is still very much a part of the dating game and sometimes you have to wonder if it isn't even more prevalent as we get older.

I say this because the older we get, the smarter we get, and the smarter we get, the better we become at playing these childish games. I remember how in Jr High School when a kid would be mean to you, oftentimes that meant they liked you i.e. Helga Pataki on the cartoon Arnold. The games are much more serious as we grow older and men are just as bad as women if not worse. Instead of the little mundane things done as a youth, now we conveniently show up in places that we know you're going to be, or string you along until you decide you've had enough, or even worse, pitting you against other women or men that we are dealing with. It is utterly ridiculous to go to such lengths to win a game that oftentimes the other person isn't even aware they are competing in.

So my question is this...Once you reach your mid to late twenties or older, is it time to stop playing these dating games and be truthful to the people you deal with, or is these games just a part of the game of dating meant to add some excitement to something that well, statistically most likely will not last?

In Honor Of: The 4th of July

2010-07-04T09:52:00.002-05:00

“There are those who will say that the liberation of humanity, the freedom of man and mind is nothing but a dream. They are right. It is the American Dream." -Archibald MacLeish

4th of July, also known as Independence Day is commonly celebrated throughout America. We have barbecues, pop fireworks, and drink with friends and family every year on this day, although many Americans have no clue about the history of the 4th. The American holiday is commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence which is a statement adopted by the Continental Congress on July 4, 1776. It announced that the thirteen American colonies, then at war with Great Britain, were now independent states, and thus no longer a part of the British Empire. Written primarily by Thomas Jefferson, the Declaration is a formal explanation of why Congress had voted on July 2 to declare independence from Great Britain, more than a year after the outbreak of the American Revolutionary War. The 4th of July has become a favorite amongst the American holidays and will most likely remain so for decades to come.

HAPPY 4th of JULY!

BET Awards: Should Chris Brown Get a Second Chance?

2010-06-28T08:30:00.002-05:00

The 2010 BET awards were last night. Heres the rundown in case you missed it.
Kanye West opened up the show atop a snowy mountain (loved the effects), El DeBarge put on a great show (so I'm thinking he must have an album in the works), Keyshia Cole did a horrible rendition of Hayley Williams from Paramore for B.O.B.s "Airplanes remix," there was a Prince tribute (Prince wore a shirt with himself on it), and more. There were no signs of Jay-Z, Beyonce, or Rihanna, and I'm sure I know why. The most talked about performance of the night would be Chris Browns tribute to Michael Jackson. It was a stellar set. Chris even broke down in tears during the performance. In my opinion, he seemed pretty genuine when he said he was sorry. Even the CB Haters agree. Oh yeah and for everyone who haven't seen CBs Rihanna replacement...click here.

I think everyone deserves a second chance, even CB. What do you guys think?

Question: Has America Been Desensitized When It Comes To SEX?

2010-06-25T06:56:00.002-05:00

After watching the most recent MTV movie awards and seeing Sandra Bullock and Scarlett Johansson pull a repeat of Brittany Spears and Madonnas 2003 kiss, I started thinking about how within the last few decades certain things that used to be considered taboo is now becoming the norm. I remember when it was impossible for me to keep my eyes pasted on the television if two women were kissing. Now I just look and feel nothing. I think it's safe to say that America has been desensitized by books, music, television, the media, and etc to view sexual prowess as normal. Even Samantha from Sex & The City's sexual openness is envied by many and the fact is, America hasn't been this open about the subject since, well....EVER.

I wonder how far we'll go in our acceptance and openness. I'd say that somewhere between women being abused if their hymen is not intact upon marriage to people clearly giving or receiving oral sex on local television would be a great compromise, but I'm sure that people will continue to push the envelope just to see how far they can go. I must admit, that I'm glad to live in a day and age where being a sexual being is not frowned upon, but with all of the teenage sexcapades, blatant disrespect, and open sexual abuse done to people, many being women and children, I just sometimes wish sex wasn't so in your face. These days the High Schoolers are reading Erotica books, listening to Lil Kim, and watching porn at an early age. I'll never forget the time in Jr. High School when two girls got caught giving the entire football team oral sex!!! (among other sexual things that I saw go on in the school) That was almost fifteen years ago, so my thoughts is that if that was going on then, I wonder how much worse could it be now!!

What do you guys think? Has America been desensitized when it comes to sex?

In Honor Of: Michael Jackson

2010-06-25T06:30:00.003-05:00

It's been a year since the death of a legend. Here are a few of our favorite MJ vids...R.I.P.

Women: How to Naturally Boost Your Sex Drive

2010-06-23T07:00:00.032-05:00

There are a variety of reasons why a woman's sex drive can go down the toilet. If you are one of these women, you're probably thinking something like, "Maybe I'm just not very sexual anymore," or "Maybe my age is catching up with me." Maybe, but probably not. Physical problems, hormone changes, psychological problems and relationship issues can all be a factors. Here are some natural treatments and changes worth trying.

Lifestyle Changes
Healthy lifestyle changes can make a big difference in your desire for sex:

■Exercise. Regular aerobic exercise and strength training can increase your stamina, improve your body image, elevate your mood and enhance your libido.

■Stress less. Finding a better way to cope with work stress, financial stress and daily hassles can enhance your sex drive.

■Be happier. A sense of personal well-being and happiness are important to sexual interest. So find ways to bring a little extra joy to your world.

■Strengthen your pelvic muscles. Pelvic floor exercises (Kegel exercises) can improve your awareness of the muscles involved in pleasurable sexual sensations and increase your libido. To perform these exercises, tighten your pelvic muscles as if you're stopping a stream of urine. Hold for a count of five, relax and repeat. Do these exercises several times a day.

Relationship changes you and your partner can make
For women, better emotional intimacy often leads to better sexual intimacy:

■Communicate with your partner. Conflicts and disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. Couples who learn to fight fair and communicate in an open, honest way usually maintain a stronger emotional connection, which can lead to better sex. Communicating about sex also is important. Talking about your likes and dislikes can set the stage for greater sexual intimacy.

■Seek counseling. Talking with a sex therapist or counselor skilled in addressing sexual concerns can help with low sex drive. Therapy often includes education about sexual response and techniques and recommendations for reading materials or couples' exercises.

■Set aside time for intimacy. Scheduling sex into your calendar may seem contrived and boring. But making intimacy a priority can help put your sex drive back on track.

■Add a little spice to your sex life. Try a different sexual position, a different time of day or a different location for sex. If you and your partner are open to experimentation, sex toys and fantasy can help rekindle your sexual sizzle.

I also suggest a daily multivitamin with iron. Many women are iron deficient or anemic which can cause them to feel weak or tired. That puts a damper on anyones sex drive.

Source

Sexual Health: HPV

2010-06-21T07:08:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been in the shower and suddenly noticed a bump on your pubic area, just to find out that you have been exposed to HPV? Told that you have abnormal cells and forced to have them frozen off in fear that they will become cancerous? Well you are not alone. About 20 million people in the U.S. have been exposed to the virus. What is HPV? It stands for Human Papilloma Virus.
It is a viral infection spread through skin to skin sexual contact. It includes over 100 different viruses with at least 30 strains known to cause different types of cancer, the most common being cervical. Symptoms include cauliflower like growths on the genitals known as genital warts. It can be found inside and outside the vagina. There is currently no test to determine if a man has HPV.

If you have or haven’t been infected with HPV you may want to consider a new drug called Gardasil. It is a relatively new vaccine that may help guard against diseases that are caused by HPV type 6, 11, 16, and 18. Gardasil is given in 3 injections over a 6 month period. Some symptoms are pain, swelling, itching, and redness at the injection site. Other side effects include fever, nausea, and dizziness. It is for girls and women ages 9 to 26 and only a doctor or health care professional can decide if Gardasil is right for you. For more information about Gardasil go to www.Gardasil.com, for more information about HPV go to www.hpv.com/human-papillomavirus

Too Sexy in the Workplace?

2010-06-18T07:32:00.000-05:00

Last week, Debrahlee Lorenzana made headlines when her employer, a Citibank branch in New York fired her for allegedly being too good looking. Her bosses disagree, blaming her work performance on the split. Now I’ve seen my share of sexy guys at work, but I think termination is a pretty extreme punishment, especially for something that you have to half way blame (and thank) your parents for.
According to Lorenzana, the bosses complained that they couldn’t concentrate on their work because her appearance was too distracting. She went on to say that maybe if she gained 20 lbs, she’d look like everyone else and would’ve kept her job. Insult!! Lol.

This brings me to my question. Can a man or woman be too sexy of a distraction at work, and if so, would that really be a bad thing?

Sports: The Underdog

2010-06-16T08:06:00.001-05:00

Ok, so I know what some of you guys are thinking, "What does SHE know about sports?" Well...I know a little something, but I'm not here to act like I'm a sports fanatic because I'm definitely not. I do however appreciate the sport of basketball, probably because my Dad used to play in college and I remember attending a few of his alumni games as a toddler. I remember asking my Mother why his shorts were so short, but that's another story.

Anyway, the last two teams standing in the 2010 playoffs, as I'm sure everyone is aware of, is the L.A. Lakers and the Boston Celtics. Of course The Celtics are considered the underdogs but how can ANY team not be when playing a team that has won so many championships within our era. Although The Celtics have 17 opposed to the Lakers 15 championships, if any one of the two teams had to be considered underdogs it would be Boston.(Although the Celtics are not 'real' underdogs by any means being that the definition of the word is a person who is expected to lose in a contest or conflict) I think it's safe to say that the Celtics have an overwhelming amount to fans that have been down for them since day one but also a new fanbase just for the love of the underdog.

My question is...Why is it so popular to root for the underdog? And also, Why does everyone hate Kobe so much?

*Sidenote-I am a true underdog rooter *Go Celtics*

Some Friday Linkage: Jewelry

2010-06-11T07:00:00.015-05:00

Today's links feature jewelry...who doesn't like jewelry?

Girl Props
3 words...CHEAP, TRENDY and FUN. If you're looking for that trendy necklace or bracelet that you saw on your favorite celeb but you don't want to go broke buying it, you'll love this site. Chances are they will have a reproduction to fit all of your fashion wants and needs.

Body Candy
This is your stop for inexpensive body jewelry. From belly rings to tongue rings, you can find great deals starting at $1.99.

Melody Ehsani
If you want to wear some of the same jewelry that celebs including Rihanna, Fergie, Keri Hilson and more have worn, check out Melody Ehsani's designs. Her jewelry is sexy, bold, and trendy. You can also get it customized to your liking. I actually have a pair of the "Mama Africa" earrings and I love them.

When She Says This...

2010-06-10T06:30:00.001-05:00

Ever wonder what's going on inside a woman's head when she rejects you? Well I can clue you in to some extent but I won't give away all of our secrets. Sometimes when ladies tell you these things they actually mean what they say, but a lot of times they don't. Here goes some facts of the game that tells you...

What she REALLY means when she says…

-I Got A Man=I am not interested in your funny looking, big headed, three kids having a**.

-No, I’ll Call You=After you walk away I’m gonna delete this raggedy number from my phone…matter fact, I’m not even gonna save it, I’m gonna clear it as soon as you walk away. Hehe.

-I Just See You As A Friend=I am not, have never been, and will never be sexually attracted to you. Give up now.

-The Sex Was Cool/Fine/Ok=Sweetie…you didn’t hit any of my spots, you didn’t make me have an orgasm, matter fact I think I’ll go use my B.O.B. right. about. now.

-It’s Not You It’s Me=Honey, I know it’s not me but I’m just trying my darnest not to bruise your sensitive ego. Sheesh…guys and their egos.

-You’re The Best I Ever Had=Well…pretty much…I lied (That darn ego of yours)

So, with that said, I hope I've enlightened some of you guys to some extent in your journey toward finding a mate. If not, oh well, I definitely don't know everything...

Why Are Black Men Constantly Bashing Black Women?

2010-06-09T06:30:00.054-05:00

First let me say that ALL Black men are definitely NOT bashing Black women. This topic came to mind during a long and boring work day when I decided to hop on Twitter for a while to see what was going on. I was minding my business and tweeting with friends when the barely relevant Houston rapper Slim Thug started talking crazy about Black women. In a nut shell he thinks that 'Black women need to stand by their man more' (I figure he thinks that the former Destinys Child singer Toya should have stood by him even though he knocked some other woman up.) B.S. if I ever did see it. Anywho, he influenced this whole trending topic ideal that people ran with that went something like, "My White side enrolled in college but my Black side only shows up for the tests." (among other variations) Although I know these jokes were all in fun, and I have to admit that some of them were kind of funny, I didn't like the whole idea of it.

In general everything about Black people was of a negative connotation and the worse part was that Black people were the main ones saying it. This took my mind to a place in time where the whole mentality that a lot of people, even Black, had that White is right. Why does Black have to be negative? But that's another story. Back to the issue at hand, I got into a long, and fun, debate with some of my twitter friends about the fact that Black women are always 'the problem.' This simply cannot be the case. In my opinion, if you constantly end up with trifling and no good Black women all of the time then you need to look in the mirror because it looks like YOU are the problem. Maybe you need to be more selective when you choose a mate instead of blaming all Black women for the drama that the type who YOU choose to deal with puts you through.

I'm slowly but surely getting to the point where I'm beginning to feel like if anything, BM don't support BW. The reason I say this is because we have constantly been bashed for years about the same stuff. I'm over the whole thing and if this particular type of BM with these radical views don't want a BW then I am fine with that. Date whoever you want; if you don't want me, I don't want you. It's crazy how out of the millions of BW in the world people still act like most or all of us are the same. I'm sure it has been proven somewhere that not even half of BW fit this stereotypical mold that is often placed upon our heads.

In my Twitter discussion, I noted that a lot of these men who have an issue with BW are trying to turn a woman who is not wife material into one and expecting her to do what 'wifey' would do. You cannot turn a h*e into a housewife. Take note of that. Also, more than not, you know what you are getting into when you decide to be with a certain woman so if you don't want a nag, a liar, or whatever, then be more selective and cautious. I know so many great BW so to say there is few is very unsettling to me. As I stated in a previous article that I wrote, "Any negative attribute that someone can place on a sista can be found in any race, and vice versa." And that's real.

I want to know what you guys think about the Slim Thug 'article' and if you think that most or all Black women are non supportive and hard to deal with. Let's discuss...

*sidenote-this picture has nothing to do with this article per se but it has everything to do with it in some ways because it represents the way that some people view all Black women. That is all.

The 6 Different Types of Guys

2010-06-08T07:00:00.005-05:00

During my 27 years, I’ve ran into a lot of different types of guys. I know you’re probably thinking something like, well all guys are different. This is true, but if I had to characterize a large portion of them, I could pretty much throw them all into these 6 groups. He doesn’t have to only belong to one of these groups however, he can be a combo. You know what they say…variety is the spice of America.

The Conservative

The Conservative guy is the one who most of us would call the “suit.” Work is something that would probably be at the top of his list. If he pledged in college, he’d probably be a member of Alpha Phi Alpha. Also, because of his conservative nature he’s likely to be a Republican if he decides to take up Politics.

The Athlete

The Athlete is self-explanatory. He is physically fit. He probably played sports in High School and in College. He most likely enjoys the outdoors. Biking, hiking, and rock climbing would be ideal. Dwayne Wade maybe.

The Artsy Guy

The liberal of the bunch, this guy would be the musician, the poet, the artist, and probably the free spirit. He may have been a hippie if it was the 70s. My friend once dated a guy who wanted to go on a date to an art show and drink wine. Turned off by this, she told me, “As far as I’m concerned, the only type of guy who would want to do that is gay.” I found it funny, but I happen to disagree. I think artsy guys are sexy.

The Pretty Boy

It’s all about the way this guy presents himself. He probably spends more time in the mirror than you getting his hairdo right and his clothes fresh. If he pledged in college he’d likely be wearing the color red. Appearance is very important for him and his other half. Think Boris Kodjoe.

The Weirdo

The weirdo would’ve been the Emo or the Goth kid. In High School, you probably paid little or no attention to this guy. You simply thought he was weird. He doesn’t conform to what society deems normal. In adulthood, this may give him a sexy and mysterious edge. Downers would fall under this category. Basically he’s the male version of Daria. I’m thinking Johnny Depp.

The Regular Guy

This guy is the Average Joe. He doesn’t exactly fit into any of the other categories. He’s just regular. He probably like’s sports, but doesn’t necessarily play. He may love music, but can’t hold a note. The jokester guy falls under this one.

So now that I've explained them all, ladies which types have you dated and fellas which one are you? Also do you guys think I left anyone out?

Some Friday Linkage

2010-06-04T09:18:00.004-05:00

Since today is Friday we decided to post some of our favorite websites. I'm a big fan of online shopping so I'll start with a few of my (and my friends) favorite online stores. Also I tend to be bored at work quite frequently so I've slowly but surely found some great sites to keep me busy all day at work and I'll share them with my fellow BAWP. (bored at work people)

For ladies Asos is great because they have a wide range of products for discounted prices. You can find very fashionable clothes that everyone in your city won't be rockin. Dangerous Negro is a great website for the revolutionary type guy or just the regular guy, that likes to get his nerd steez on, to find statement tees. This site features all different types of positive messages on the clothing and you can even design your own shirts from different options offered. For the female party goers a great website is Hot Miami Styles. They offer a wide range of trendy clothing from dresses to swimsuits. And last but not least Fashion Junkee is great for the fashionista that likes to dress like the stars. They offer several pieces that are similar to the fashions being worn by the celebs but in a much smaller price range.

When I want a laugh I visit Lamebook which is a site that features funny things from Facebook. The site is quite entertaining and should be able to keep you busy for at least an hour. If you are really into entertainment and gossip, a great site is Mediatakeout. This site is great for laughs, but please don't take it too serious. They tend to post things about celebs without all the facts but the site is pretty hilarious so I frequent them. F*** My Life (FML) is a great site to visit if you want to hear random people telling their stories of crazy happenings that would make a person say FML. Hilarious. And lastly Free Rice is a site I go to when I feel like being a little charitable. It's filled with trivia waiting to be answered. It's great because for each answer you get right, they donate ten grains of rice to a food program. Their goal is to do what they can to help end hunger and they want us to help. How awesome is that?

So there you have it. This should be enough Friday linkage to get the worst of us through our boring and sometimes nauseating work days. With that said, have a great weekend! TGIF!!!

Does It Still Exist: Common Courtesy?

2010-06-03T06:45:00.003-05:00

I don't know about you guys but I think that with chivalry and manners, common courtesy too has been tossed out the window. I'm sure that it has been proven somewhere that a mans nature is shaped by the men that were in his life as a child and that the expectations that a woman places for a man she desires are too. Common courtesy is something that SHOULD be common among people but has slowly faded away.

A great example of this is when I had a conversation with my father this past weekend. We sat in my cousins restaurant and my father asked if the ex wife of the restaurant owner comes and helps out if needed. I thought to myself, "What a silly question, who does that?" I watched as my cousins daughter gave him a look of, "What the heck are you smoking?" followed by a NO. As soon as we returned home I asked him if he were in the situation would HE have helped my mother and he gave me a simple answer of, "Yes." That made me wonder what had happened between his baby boomer generation and my Y2K era that caused people to become so darn unhelpful. I thought about it and came up with a few things that I feel should be common courtesy when it comes to measuring a real friend ~~or a person that you're sleeping with~~ but often is not...

1) Supporting-When it comes to your friends, if you can't rely on them to support you with anything from a new relationship to a new career choice it may be time to re-evaluate. A real friend wants nothing but the best for you and WILL support you in all things because they love you.

2) Moving-A great way to know if you have a true friend is if they offer to help you move during that annoying time of need. You may not NEED their help but the offer is always appreciated.

3) Fixing Sh*t-In my opinion, if a man can't fix sh*t then he may as well ~~be a woman~~ go saddown somewhere. It's like required these days that women know how to cook, clean, take care of the kids, maintain a decent job, and be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Soooo...how hard is it for a man to learn how to change a tire, check the oil in the car, or put together the freakin entertainment system? Really...I think all ~~straight~~ men should be required to take a maintenance class so they won't be, like the old folks say, Good For Nothings.

I don't know, maybe I'm ~~and alot of other Virgos that I know~~ just a different kind of breed of people. Maybe I should have been born in the 50s when chivalry was all too prevalent and courting was required before a guy could even think of reaching first base. Maybe that's my problem, and alot of other peoples problems too, we were born into a time when all the sh*t that matters doesn't exist anymore. Sucks...

Is common courtesy a myth or still prevalent in today's society? What do you guys think?

Deal Breakers: Personal Hygiene

2010-06-02T07:20:00.001-05:00

Shower: .30 worth of water

Soap: .99

Deodorant: $1.99

Realizing you lost your chance with your crush because you stink: PRICELESS.

My friend would see umm…let’s just call him “John,” come though her workplace frequently. She liked his personality, he was decent looking, and he seemed cool. When “John” asked her for her number so they could go out sometime, she didn’t mind so she gave it to him. After seeing him a few more times, she felt like something was off. When I asked her about it, she said that she wasn’t sure, but he seemed to have some type of foul body odor. She decided that every time she would see him, he’d just come from the gym or some other activity that would cause a person to sweat. After seeing “John” a few more times, she realized that apparently, dude was just smelly. The offensive scent never seemed to go away when he was around. Needless to say, they never went on that date.

A few months ago (actually closer to 8 or 9), I had a similar situation. This guy asked for my number repeatedly every time I saw him. Eventually I gave in, with the understanding that it would be as “friends only.” Apparently someone didn’t get the memo, but what really made it bad was when I realized that he was smelly. I think he was worse than “John” because he didn’t smell like he’d just played sports. He smelled like he needed to wash dat azz! Lol. Also it was a reoccurring thing so obviously it was an issue. Needless to say, I started ignoring the calls and texts (which I was barely answering to begin with). Some people just don’t get it. I told him from the beginning that I was not interested in anything other than friendship and what did he do, the same thing a lot of guys do…eff it up trying to holla. And by the way, he sent a one way text yesterday. *pause*

This brings me to my next question. Can bad hygiene be a deal breaker, and if you really like a person, could you look past it?

How Old is Too Old?

2010-05-31T09:22:00.002-05:00

In relationships and dating, traditionally women go for older men and men go for younger women.
I believe this is partly because women tend to mature before men. Dating a younger man means you may have to take care of him or take on the role of “Mama” (Although some men are needy at any age). He’s more likely to be childish or immature (from my experience, they ALWAYS show their youngness eventually), and he is usually still “sowing his wild oats” (wannabe player).

The whole “cougar” trend is kind of funny, but with couples like Demi and Ashton or Mariah and Nick, people seem to be jumping on that bandwagon. I’ve had guys, barely legal pleading their case on why I should give them a chance and how much more mature they are then most guys their age. I’ve also gotten my share of men old enough to be my Dad offering to “take a bill off my hands” or proposing to dedicate funds towards higher education.

This brings me to my point. When it comes to women dating men and vice versa, how old is too old?

In Honor Of: Sex and the City 2

2010-05-28T07:00:00.001-05:00

Since today is the opening for the second SATC movie, we'd like to honor it with a couple of videos. Enjoy!

Trailer:

Clips from show: