Proverbs 31 Moms

Haircut

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:22:00 +0000

My son has this beautiful, blond "surfer" hair. I swore up and down that if I ever had a son, he would not look like a sissy baby. I am so obsessed with his hair though that I can not cut it. It is just so pretty.

Finally today though it was so "tangly" that it had to be done. I had to get it shaped up because he was looking like a ragamuffin. I told the hairdresser though to keep it as long as possible.

I am justifying myself with the following thoughts, " Long hair on boys is in style," and " Jesus most likely had long hair."

I think that I have learned to avoid be confident of the things that I will and will not do in the future. I do know that I continue to surprise myself.

The picture is not of my son. Jack's hair is much longer.

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Aging

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 13:27:00 +0000

This weekend I spent 10 hours in a car to go up and back to visit my 94 year old grandmother in her nursing home. All of that time and I could really only visit for a little over an hour because my 2 year old was so wiggly and difficult. The whole point of the trip was for her to be able to see my youngest since she has not yet met him.

I was just so saddened. I wish that she wasn't so isolated and so far away. I hate the way that things have worked out for her. What a strong Christian woman she is, she deserves better than she has received in her life.

Why does aging have to be such a terrible process. It is really just a very long slow death. I am so grateful to the Lord though that it doesn't end with her death. She will be reunited with her loved ones and in a body that does not work against her.

This week my mind will be focused on ways that I can improve her life here on Earth. I don't know what to do yet, but I will think of something.

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Snowing in the House

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 13:27:00 +0000

Erma Bombeck once said that cleaning the house up after children is like shoveling the sidewalk of snow while it is still snowing. Isn't that the truth?

When determining the stressful nature of a job, one of the standards to measure by is how often the worker gets to see a completed job. For example, a painter who participates in repainting a wall color and then gets to admire the finished product feels less stress than the postal worker who constantly sorts letters without end.

With this standard mothers who are constantly cleaning up a house, doing the same jobs over and over without ever getting to experience a few minutes in a clean home deal with a lot of stress.

I think that it is important to recognize this in our lives and make sure that we have areas of our lives where we do get to view a completed work. Since I am going to assume that like me, your house is never completely clean, you will have to most likely find satisfaction in a job well done in a hobby for example.

Take up an art or craft. Participate in a sport where you start and finish a game. Recognize the need to sit back and say,"It is good."

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Transmit Only

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:11:00 +0000

My husband and I have an expression for people that can only talk and never listen, "transmit only." It is so frustrating to never be heard. We all are guilty, but we shouldn't be.

If the goal is to be heard, talking more and never listening will hurt much more than it will help. It is so sad that in today's culture we actually have to teach listening as a skill.

As a Christian we should naturally want to know the state of someone's heart and their feelings and concerns. In our very busy world though, we have to make an intentional effort to slow down and be quiet.

What if we took the time to hear what our neighbors and our loved ones were trying to tell us? What if we took the time to hear what our children were really trying to say?

What if we took the time to listen, really listen to God?

Would the world be a better place? Yes

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Houston Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:42:00 +0000

Houston is not the first place that you think of to vacation, but it makes the short list when all your family is located there. We packed up the two kids and traveled to see family one more time before the school year begins.

It rained the entire time, but at least it kept things cool. I can't decide if vacationing at the grandparents is more work or less. I guess it is just different work. Sleep schedules get messed up. The house is not baby proofed. The kids just want to harass the dogs. There is just more trouble that they can get into, but there are also more hands to deal with it.

One of my favorite things to do is go see a movie when I have dependable babysitters. We only allow family to watch the kids, so that it not often. I love that for 2 hours I can just lose myself in the story and the air conditioning. I don't care what the movie is, or even how good it is. I even enjoy the commercials since I get to watch them in peace.

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Road Trip Training

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 10:57:00 +0000

About 10 years ago when I was young and pregnant and foolish, I went on a road trip with my husband from Florida across the south to California and up the coast to the tip top of Washington. We were moving from Jacksonville, Florida to Whidbey Island, Washington because my husband was being stationed there by the Navy.

At the time we had a substitute child in the form of a very cute, yet very stubborn beagle. We took him along with us. By day 3, he would strain against us and try to run away so that he did not have to get back into the car. He felt he had a voice in the situation, that he was actually allowed to resist.

After day 5, he realized that he was not going to win. Admittedly it was a little sad. We broke him. I am sure that he was convinced that everyday for the rest of his life, he would have to be trapped in that car all day long. He meekly allowed me to set him in the car, laid his little head down and sighed.

I learned a good mothering principle. Sometimes you just have to break your kids in to unpleasant truths. I try to give my kids as many options as I can. We work really hard to give them a voice and allow them to be who God created them to be. On some things though, there can be no compromise.

For us, we travel a lot. We have had to break our kids the same way we broke the dog. There is no whining, no fussing, no crying. Just get in the car, read your book or go to sleep. Those are the only choices. I just refuse to be trapped in a car with poorly behaved children.

It is a good principle for even more important lessons though. There are just some things in life that we will not compromise on. We will be kind and loving people. We will speak and act respectfully. If you do not give in on these things an inch, they will not have the opportunity to take a mile.

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Relationships- What Everything is About

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 13:22:00 +0000

When stress gets the best of me or I feel like I am failing (which happens often), I take just a few minutes to sit quietly with God and remember what everything is about.

Why are we here? To sweep the kitchen floor? To make money? To impress others? To make decisions? To be healthy? It is really none of that.

The whole point of existence is relationships. The number one focus being our relationship with God. We exist to spend time in fellowship with God. If you are doing that, then you are already everything that you should be. God will put everything in place.

Beyond our relationship with God, we are designed for relationships with others. Our family is our first place to spread this love that was given from our relationship with God.

As I was writing this, my son grabbed my pant leg because Barney was singing his, "I love you" song and my son wanted me to join in along with Barney and him. That is what life is about. If everything else is a disaster today, I know that I danced around the room with my kids, kissing and hugging them. That is what everything is about.

I am blessed.

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Back to School Bliss

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:45:00 +0000

I have always loved "back to school" time. I love the little lunch boxes and pencils and paper and folders and glue and crayon. I admit though that I also love to browse at Office Depot. I am a organizational geek at heart.

What is deeper than the gadget love though, is that "back to school" represents a fresh start. You meet new people. You learn new things. You get a new chance to do your best.

I try not to think about the fact that soon handwriting will get sloppy and work will get tedious and sometimes even get forgotten. For the first week of school, kids are quiet and respectful, names and dates are always labeled on the paper and lunches are well thought out.

It was a great time when I was a kid, it was a great time when I was a school teacher and it is a great time as a homeschooling mom.

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Anger Issues

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:45:00 +0000

Hey, we all experience anger in our families. I am sure we all wish there was less of it. Anger can be healthy in the sense that it signals to us that something is really wrong in a situation and a problem needs to be solved.

When anger occurs righteously it comes from God and is obviously a productive emotion. We can think back to Jesus getting angry at the money changers for an example of this.

Most of the time though, we can admit that the anger in our family is from sinful roots. Fear, jealousy and selfishness all contribute to our anger. It really comes down to anger being a signal that we don't know how to solve our problem.

If we get angry at our kid for something, the real issue is that deep down we do not have a real solution to get the child to stop doing whatever he is doing. If we knew exactly how to solve the problem of the misbehavior, then we probably would not feel angry and exhibit angry behaviors.

How often have you seen a child throw a temper tantrum over math? This is one of the easiest and clearest examples about how anger problems are really just an inability to solve a problem.

Next time you feel anger, ask yourself what is the problem? As soon as you define the problem, it is easier to realize that your energy is best used to find a solution to that problem. Sometimes just knowing that you can work to find a solution diffuses the angry emotions.

Take some time this week to analyze your anger and that of your family. See if you can find the root. What problem is it that the angry person can't solve?

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Easy Ministry

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:59:00 +0000

Life is just so busy. It is hard to fit everything in. Daily we get to minister to our families and many of us are able to carve out some time to help at church. How often are we able to get out and serve the world though?

It is tough, and I for one feel guilty. As part of my online business, Proverbs 31 List, I created a list of 31 easy ministry idea. These are things that anyone can do. They are quick and easy, but can pack a ministry punch. No one may see you doing these things, but God will.

Here is the link.

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A Clean Kitchen Saves Money

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:26:00 +0000

This morning we spent our time cleaning and organizing the kitchen. We had reached the point that we really didn't know what we had in the refrigerator or the pantry. Food was going bad and we were buying doubles of things we already had.

When your kitchen is clean and organized less waste occurs and money gets saved. It is worth the time and effort especially in this economy where food prices have skyrocketed.

The kitchen is the heart of the home and when it is clean it becomes infectious. You will find that other areas of your life become more organized and better run as well. Many people find that they even eat less and make better food choices in a clean kitchen.

...so get in there this weekend and have a kitchen makeover.

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What if no one Bought Paul's Tents?

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:13:00 +0000

Have you ever thought about that? Paul supported his ministry, which was a call from God as a tent maker. He traveled and certainly accepted offerings from Christians wanting to help him spread the gospel, but he also sold tents to support himself.

Would you have bought a tent from his competitor? Why do we do this today? There are good Christian moms scrambling to start up businesses and keep them afloat so that they can stay home and raise their kids, yet as Christians we have no guilty conscience for choosing to support worldly companies instead of the sisters of our faith.

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Family Kaizen

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:36:00 +0000

In my work at home business tips blog, I just wrote about Kaizen. Kaizen is a Japanese word that means to continuously improve in an orderly and gradual manner. I was focusing on this term as a method to grow a business. It is so appropriate to a family though!

Isn't this what we want for our children? To grow in wisdom and stature in a continuous and gradual manner is the goal we all share for our kids. What a blessing when we see improvements in this way.

Kaizen is the method in which God grows us through the process of sanctification. Sure sometimes we will have set backs and big leaps forward, but everyday and every second God is continually working on our behalf.

I have been tossing around applying this method of continual improvement to my house. Every day we are making it our goal that the state of organization and cleanliness gets a little bit better. If we are successful, maybe my patience and frustration level will experience some kaizen!

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What an Awesome Responsibility

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:41:00 +0000

As I was contemplating life today ( I tend to be a deep thinker), it struck me once again at what a huge and awesome responsibility it is to raise children. These little innocent creatures were given to us as a gift from God and we will be accountable for every choice we make as their parents.

There is just so much that I want to teach them. Eighteen years really does not seem like enough time! Oh I pray that God gives me the strength that I need to endure the day to day trials and to keep the true mission in sight.

From healthy eating choices, to morality, to life skills, to social skills. The amount of work is daunting. If there is one area to succeed in life beyond my own relationship with Christ, I pray that it is the parenting of my children.

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Potty Training Boys

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 19:33:00 +0000

My two year old son either refuses to learn to talk or is "just not ready." The lack of progress in his verbal skills has not kept him from loving potty time though. He has been taking off his diaper as soon as he does #1 then running in and trying to climb on the big potty. I could no longer deny him the chance to learn this skill.

Off we go to buy a little boy potty and the whole time I am wondering how to do this. Are little boys supposed to sit down? I came from a family of girls. He knew exactly what to do though. As soon as we got the thing out of the box and as soon as he stopped using it a step stool to reach things he is not supposed to.....he took of his short and diaper and sat down and did #1.

When they are ready, they are ready.

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Picture Panic

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:54:00 +0000

Most days I am pretty sane. I feel like I am a pretty good mom with pretty good kids. My house looks pretty good. We are doing fine. Then moments come upon me and I become absolutely sure that there is no way in the world that I will ever have enough pictures and video footage of the kids. I panic because they are growing so fast and there are moments that are just slipping by! I run and grab the camera to try and catch the moment, but the moment is gone and the kids just want to play with the camera.

To regain my sanity after my momentary panic, I try and reassure myself that no one really just sits around looking at pictures when they are adults. They are too busy living their moments. I also tell myself that each picture and clip of video is a treasure and a gift. I should just enjoy what I have and not worry about what I don't. Then I reassure myself that I don't have enough pictures because I was actually living the moment instead of observing it through a lens. I hope that I am right.

Why Are There NO Good High Chairs Out There?

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 15:36:00 +0000

Surely I am not the only mom that experiences this. It seems no matter what restaurant we go to, no matter how pricey or trendy or new....the high chair never has a working strap! What is the point of that? Maybe some people have kids that love to sit still through a meal, but I don't. My son will crawl right out of it and on to the table if you don't catch him quickly.

As expensive as it is to go out to eat as an entire family, is it too much to ask for a high chair with a safety strap that actually functions? Oh and can it please be clean?

The first restaurant that I find that takes its responsibility to its youngest customers seriously will be getting my loyalty and devotion.

Welcome to the Proverbs 31 Moms at home blog

noreply@blogger.com (Shelley Brownfield) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 14:21:00 +0000

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