Psyche and Mind

"A Murder of Crows & Other Poems" by Deborah Hanula (book review from Amazon.ca)

2023-03-20T22:12:00.000-07:00

Reviewed on March 15, 2023 (from Amazon.ca)

Verified Purchase

"This collection has a darkness that is both thrilling and comedic.
Poetry from a mature woman’s voice, a voice we do not hear very often.
Many of the poems have a dark humour that sneaks up on you.
Despair, comedy, joy and love are all on display in a raw but honest telling.
Some of my favourites are The Day After I Was Murdered, Aging Gracefully, and Naked.
How can you resist someone who can write…
“…when you wrapped your hands around my neck and told me that you once

had killed a man with your bare hands.”"

My book is available from many online retailers.

Excerpt from A MURDER OF CROWS & OTHER POEMS

2023-03-11T11:14:00.001-08:00

"and all she could utter were the gasps of a tiny, withered baby sparrow".

My new book is now available from online retailers worldwide. Message me via a comment for more information.

"The poems in part one of this anthology deal with facets of the human condition: fear, loneliness, isolation, heartache, grief, love, joy and humour. The haikus in part two include short meditations on the power and beauty of our natural world."

MY NEW BOOK!

2023-03-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

My new book - "A Murder of Crows & Other Poems" -

is now available online worldwide!

The poems in part one of this collection deal

with facets of the human condition: fear, loneliness,

isolation, heartache, grief, love, joy and humour.

The haikus in part two include short meditations

on the power and beauty of our natural world.

Here are a few of the online retailers who currently

have my book listed for sale in various forms -

hardcover, paperback, e-books for Kindle and Kobo:

Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Booktopia, Smashbooks,

Apple Books, Waterstones, Abebooks, Better World Books,

Alibris, Books A Million, Walmart. My book will soon be

available online with Chapters/Indigo. And, check with your

local bookstore as they may be able to order a copy for you

directly from Ingram or one of the retailers listed above.

Facing Yourself: Four Points to Ponder

2016-07-11T19:17:00.002-07:00

1. Through a process of facing and dealing with uncomfortable situations or issues in your life, you learn about yourself and grow as a person.

2. It is important to acknowledge areas of personal weakness and to try to move past them or to transform them into strengths. Never underestimate or discount the areas of strength that you already have. Everyone has areas of strength, even if they don't believe that they do. Focus on areas of strength while trying to also transform any areas of weakness into strengths.

3. Attempting to hold negative memories or memories of traumatic events or mistreatment buried deeply inside of yourself can lead to the abuse of alcohol or other psychoactive substances, and also to mental and emotional deterioration as your life proceeds.

4. Let the past go when you are ready to do so, and if there are people who hold you back from healing and moving forward because they trigger memories of traumatic events, other negative memories or mistreatment, let them go and keep moving forward towards healing and a life that will give you peace of mind.

D.

A Short Essay on Living Life

2016-07-11T16:18:00.001-07:00

The point is not how long you live, but the quality of the life you have lived. For most people, at least some level of variety is essential to emotional well-being. The purpose of being in the world is to experience it. If each day looks exactly the same as the day before, if you do the same things each and every day, time will fly by, opportunities will have been lost, and you may find that you are suddenly too old and too infirm to do much of anything at all.

This doesn't mean that you have to parachute from planes, or float down the Nile, or hike up Everest, or write the greatest work of fiction ever written - it simply means that you should try to add some variety to your day to day life. Do what you can within your means and 'practical' life to expand your horizons. Be curious about others and the world around you. Do big things and small things. Appreciate the big adventures, but also take time to notice and appreciate the small things in life. Take time to smell more than just the roses. Sometimes life will be made up of just a series of small things to notice and appreciate. At times, if you can make it happen, you can have larger, more expansive experiences.

Avoid procrastination.

Believe in yourself, even if no one else does. Do that one thing you want to do even if you think that you cannot do it. If you doubt yourself, that is okay, sit with your doubt for awhile, then put it out of your mind and get to work planning and then doing. Or, don't plan - be spontaneous - depending on the circumstances: hiking into the back country unprepared and on the spur of the moment may not be advisable, but deciding that tomorrow you're going to climb that peak - the one you've been dreaming about conquering for years - and throwing all the essential gear together just the night before should work just fine.

If you have others in your life who believe in you that is definitely a bonus. But, if you don't, you are enough. Believe in yourself. That is one person who believes in you. That is all it takes to get started. Put yourself out there and then you may soon find that many others jump on board. You just need to draw on that internal courage to begin. Small steps may lead to bigger steps, but small steps can still get you to where you want to be, even if it does take longer. At least you are still doing it.

D.

The HSP - the Highly Sensitive/Perceptive Person (Republished Due to High Demand)

2016-07-11T16:12:00.002-07:00

This blog post was first published on November 12, 2011. Due to high demand, I have decided to republish it today.

HSP stands for highly sensitive/perceptive person. An HSP is someone whose brain and nervous system is 'wired' in a way that makes them more sensitive. This means that they are acutely aware of, attuned to, and affected by their environment, other people, and things going on within themselves. It can further be characterized as sensitivity to both internal and external stimuli, including social, emotional and physical cues: they are more emotionally and physically reactive. Because they process cues, signals and other information more thoroughly than others, they become easily overwhelmed, experience more stress, startle easily, and are keenly aware of, and affected by, changes in their environment - even subtle ones - like energy, light, noise, smell, texture and temperature.

This sensory processing sensitivity is a basic, heritable, personality trait or temperament. It is not a pathology. It has evolved as a particular survival strategy for approximately 15 to 20 percent of individuals that differs from that of the majority of other people. It is an inborn trait, noticeable at birth through observational studies of how infants respond to their environment and to other people. It has also been observed throughout the animal kingdom.

Approximately 30 percent of HSPs are extroverts; most, however, are introverts. They all tend to be introspective, have rich inner lives, depth of thought, lean toward perfectionism, and require plenty of time alone in order to relax and replenish. Social gatherings can leave them tense, exhausted, or highly aroused with difficulty falling asleep afterward. They tend to not relax well in group activities such as a yoga class or other type of exercise class. These types of classes which may promote relaxation and calmness in other people, can have the opposite effect on HSPs who relax better exercising alone. Even extroverted HSPs need time alone to replenish energy after periods of high intensity for them: after meetings, concerts, parties and social gatherings.

HSPs are easily disturbed, distressed or thrown into disarray by changes and don't enjoy living situations which lack stability. Constant upheaval (for instance, when a spouse travels frequently for business purposes) is overwhelming and upsetting. And, because the nervous system of an HSP is so easily kicked into high gear, or affected profoundly, by things such as startling or loud sounds (like a firecracker going off or a rock concert), hormonal fluctuations, stimulating foods, spices and beverages, social interactions, strong scents or smells, bright lights, or temperature changes, they may often experience difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. They may also experience physical symptoms such as digestive disturbances, food allergies and intolerances, or nervous system effects such as tension, heart arrythmias or headaches more easily from foods/beverages/circumstances that others can easily tolerate. They may have trouble tolerating medications/alternative remedies that others easily tolerate. Violent or horrific images are extremely disturbing and these images can stay with the HSP for several days, if not longer.

Being an HSP is not a psychological disorder, but can certainly lead to one as a result of life experiences and ongoing stressors. All types of anxieties, neuroses, and depressions can develop as HSPs find it harder and harder to cope in an environment that doesn't suit their needs. They may experience high levels of stress and find it hard to deal with, or cope with, situations that they find too stressful. Generally speaking, they are misunderstood by others, seen as weak and vulnerable, and as children - even as adults - may be bullied, ridiculed or made fun of. But, having a high-functioning, easily-aroused, sensitive nervous system is a physical trait which a person has no control over - and did not choose, but was born with - just like the colour of one's skin, hair or eyes.

Because of how their brains and nervous systems are wired, HSPs may experience life as fraught with types of difficulty and upset that other ‘average’ people have a hard time understanding or experiencing. If expected to function in an environment that doesn’t allow them to have what they need in order to grow and prosper, they will most likely deteriorate both physically and emotionally/mentally and conditions such as anxiety and depression may very well be the result. If they are repeatedly told that they are too sensitive, that they shouldn’t feel the way they do, shouldn’t need what they do, shouldn’t ask for what they need in order to be successful individuals, and told that they should be different than they are and better able to cope with all that is thrown at them, then they will deteriorate.

Western societies/cultures do not value sensitive people. HSPs tend to be highly intelligent, talented, and gifted individuals. Telling an HSP to “just get over it” or exasperatedly asking them why they are so sensitive, or laughing at them while expecting them to develop a thicker skin is damaging and futile because they can’t change their wiring. Instead, imagine the courage/fortitude it takes for them to continue living, coping and thriving. If they are treated with love and understanding as children (and also as adults) they will cope and thrive. Otherwise, their sensitivity can take a more pathological turn towards neuroses and could develop into a psychological disorder such as generalized anxiety, social anxiety, or depression.

HSPs are at higher risk of developing depression and anxiety than is the general population. HSPs tend toward loneliness and social isolation if they feel unaccepted and misunderstood, and also because they become easily stressed and require more alone time (remember most have more traits of the introvert than of the extrovert). It can be hard for them to arrange social engagements in order to maintain friendships. While they may strongly desire social interactions and relationships, they may have a hard time sustaining them as others fail to understand them and they suffer easily from fatigue, stress and exhaustion, especially as they get older. If they do not live in a stable environment, it makes it even harder for them to plan social engagements and to maintain friendships. And, if they start to lose confidence they will withdraw, becoming more isolated, lonely, depressed and anxious.

Having written all of the above, it is important to note that HSPs usually do make sensitive and caring friends - noticing the energy and emotions of others. They are conscientious, exhibit high levels of intelligence, talent, skill, focus, perception, passion, intensity, depth, compassion and empathy. They are highly creative and attuned to the environment, as well as being great lovers of the arts, often noticing subtleties and hues missed by others. They are especially attracted to professions which require high levels of creativity.

D.

Something's Rotten in the State of Aging (Updated)

2016-07-11T16:05:00.000-07:00

While sitting around in a reception area a while ago, I had enough time on my hands to read through several magazine articles. I didn’t take notes, so won’t be citing any references here, but one of the articles I read was written about a book which was written by two male doctors about health after age 50. One phrase stood out for me, as it was repeated throughout the article, and was a phrase I had not previously come across in any other article about aging. The phrase really got the point across as it pulled no punches. It was blunt: “At age 50 the body starts to DECAY.” Well, I had never really thought of aging as a process of decay before – and found the thought more than a little repulsive. I mean, I’ve read all about cell death and cell aging, and all the scientific aspects of it, and what to do to stay as healthy as possible: mind, body and soul. I knew I was aging (which sounds like a gradual and graceful process), but never considered that I was actually DECAYING. Yuck! We’ve all seen decaying birds on the side of the road (but, presumably they’re already dead), or a decaying apple which is turning brown as it oxidizes, smelling somewhat putrid as it rots.

The solution to the body’s process of decay, according to the two doctors, is exercise, exercise, and more exercise. The point that we cannot do without exercise was hammered home time and time again. Slackers will end up bent over, shuffling behind a walker, dependent and most likely depressed. Exercisers will end up vibrant, strong, independent and likely not depressed. Their prescription was not the 2.5 hours of exercise per week as recommended in a report on CTV’s “The National” last evening, but was much more stringent. The doctors insisted on 6 days - no less than 6 days - of exercise per week! And, it must be for a minimum of 45 minutes on each of the 6 days. Take part in walking, or running, or cycling, or swimming (or whatever else raises your heart rate to 60 – 80 percent of your target heart rate) for a minimum of 20 minutes. Additionally, 20 minutes of weight training as well as proper warm up and cool down exercises are required. (I have always been advised, however, that weight training every second day is more advisable than once a day, due to the fact that when we lift weights micro-tears are created in the muscle fibres, and these tears need sufficient time to heal. Lifting weights each day may result in long-term damage to your muscles which would only serve to undermine the strength and stamina you are trying to build.)

Exercise not only strengthens the body - it also strengthens the mind.

In some notes from a college course I took several years ago called, “The Learning Brain”, I came across some information from Richard Restak’s book, “Older and Wiser – How To Maintain Peak Mental Ability For As Long as You Live”. Restak wrote that the brain is designed to process knowledge and information just as the digestive system is designed to process food or the lungs to process oxygen. If food, oxygen or knowledge is cut off, the organism dies. Engaging in any activity that mentally stimulates the mind helps to maintain a high level of brain functioning. A study of 1000 people from age 70 to 80 showed that four factors seem to determine which seniors maintain their mental ability and agility:

- education, which appears to increase the number and strength of connections between brain cells,
- strenuous physical activity which improves blood flow to the brain,
- lung function, which makes sure the blood is adequately oxygenated,
- the feeling that what you do makes a difference in your life (described by others as having a purpose or a passion).

In other words, stay active, engaged and interested in life as much as you can.

Other ways to keep your brain young include:

- reading,
- doing crossword or other puzzles,
- learning to play a musical instrument,
- singing, especially in a group like a choir, for example,
- dancing,
- learning a new language,
- fixing something you’ve never fixed before,
- patronizing the arts,
- hanging out with provocative, interesting people,
- socializing with your old friends and making new ones,
- doing something on a daily basis with the hand you would not normally use,
- pursuing rich experiences such as travel to new places of interest, or mountain hiking,
- spending less time in front of the television and less time in activities that involve prolonged sitting,
- rediscovering your carefree, playful self, and perhaps spend more time with young children,
- playing board games, bridge or chess,
- continuing to work - if you retire, treat it as an opportunity for beginning a new life,
- becoming an expert in something,
- taking courses,
- pursuing a healthy lifestyle which includes not only lots of physical activity, but getting enough sleep and eating a healthy diet, which includes reducing or eliminating the intake of added sugars as much as possible,
- avoiding drugs which negatively impact memory if you possibly can.

Staying biologically young sounds great. Rotting, on the other hand, stinks.

Beyond Exercise: Two Ways to Maintain Mental Sharpness

2014-03-21T17:22:00.000-07:00

By now, we likely all know that regular exercise helps to stave off the effects of aging, one of which is a decline in mental sharpness.

According to "The MacArthur Foundation Study on Successful Aging", the level of an individual's education is the strongest predictor of mental capacity during aging. The more education a person has had, the more likely it is that he or she will be able to maintain memory and thinking skills. Additional research indicates that people who hold jobs that involve complex work, such as speaking to, instructing, or negotiating with others, have a lower risk of dementia than those persons whose jobs are less intellectually demanding.

It is likely not, however, simply the years of education or on the job performance that enables strong memory and thinking abilities to continue through older age. It is far more probable that the maintenance of an enriching intellectual environment through ongoing learning, discussions, and engagement in activities which stimulate the brain, leading to more neural connections, is what's at play here. The greater the number of connections, the more resilient the brain is against the effects of aging. A habit of ongoing learning and engaging in mentally challenging activities - discussions, debates, new languages, challenging word or other types of games - can all help to keep the brain in shape in addition to regular physical activity.

Another way to keep mentally sharp is to establish and maintain close ties with others whether it's through relationships with relatives, friends, caregivers, or members of community groups. Social engagement and mentally stimulating activities often go hand in hand (e.g. volunteering at charity events, or helping school children with math or reading). Social relationships can also provide support during stressful times which in turn may reduce the damaging effects that stress can have on the brain.

D.

"Improving Memory: Understanding Age-Related Memory Loss", Christine Junge, Harvard Health Publications, Harvard Medical School, Boston, MA, 2012.

Daniel Pink on Laughter

2014-03-13T16:02:00.000-07:00

I walk every day, rain or shine. I often listen to music or the radio on my iphone while walking, but recently I downloaded a book to listen to: A Whole New Mind: Why Right Brainers Will Rule the Future, authored by Daniel H. Pink. It is a fascinating 'listen to' and in chapter 8, Pink discusses the benefits of laughter by beginning with a discussion of the laughter clubs which have become popular in India and are springing up all over the world - especially growing in popularity in the workplace.

Laughter, he says, can infect people like a virus. Start laughing and soon those around you may not be able to resist the urge to laugh, too. Laughter is all about being in relationship, about sharing and bonding. It counteracts stress in the workplace (unless the laughter is cruel or meant to ridicule, or is at the expense of co-workers, which can then result in increased stress in the workplace) and enhances the creativity and productivity of both individuals and groups. It increases energy and creates joyfulness - which he argues - is pure and unconditional - unlike happiness which is contingent on other factors.

It's hard to feel anxious, sad, angry or distressed while you are laughing (although some circumstances may trigger nervous or fear-based laughter). By triggering positive feelings, it can enhance intimacy and emotional connection. The bond it creates acts as a buffer against disagreements, disappointments and resentments, and can often work to diffuse anger, or to check on perspective during disagreements. Sharing laughter and engaging in playful communication keeps relationships fresh and exciting and full of vitality. It enhances both individual and relationship resilience.

Dr. Lee Burke from the Loma Linda School of Medicine in California has found that laughter enhances the immune system because it lowers the level of stress hormones and increases the number of immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies. Laughter also has analgesic properties through its release of endorphins which promote an overall sense of well-being. This in turn helps with the management of pain and can relieve physical effects of stress such as muscle tension. A hearty laugh can tone the heart and increase aerobic capacity due to the fact that it increases heart rate, increases blood flow, and improves the function of blood vessels.

Most of us are born with the capacity to laugh. For most people, laughter is innate. Within a few months of birth, infants start to laugh. If laughter wasn't part of your upbringing it's never too late to learn to laugh!

Think of laughter as a workout, setting aside a time during the day or a few times during the week to seek out humour and lightheartedness Start by simply smiling and build from there. People who work as laughter coaches or therapists find that laughter can erupt even without experiencing a humourous event. Negative thoughts can act as a barrier to humour, so keep a gratitude journal or make a list of the good things in your life. Try to focus on any positive things that may be happening in your life or in the life of someone you care about. Though we may have to work harder to find humour in something when we are feeling down, it can be done. Spend time with fun, playful people - people who laugh easily at themselves, don't take themselves too seriously, and who routinely find the humour in everyday events and in life's absurdities. It may very well infect you in a positive way. Playing with a pet or with young children can also bring humour and joy into your life. The laughter of small children is especially pure, spontaneous and infectious. Look for the humour and irony in negative situations. Try to find something in your day to day life to laugh (or at least smile) about.

D.

A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, Daniel H. Pink, Penguin Group (USA) Inc., New York, New York, 2006.

Thought Repression Can be Beneficial

2014-03-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

The ability to repress memories can be useful in the right circumstances. In fact, individuals who cannot do this very well let thoughts stay in their mind, paving the way for rumination, anxiety and depression. Allowing intrusive memories to take hold may also impede the emotional recovery of trauma victims.

D.

Err on the Side of Kindness

2014-03-13T11:24:00.002-07:00

Err on the side of kindness. Not a bad motto to live by. Kindness promotes positive relationships with others, although the notion still persists among many individuals that kindness is a sign of weakness.

According to the philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, kindness and love are the most curative agents in human relationships. The 14th Dalai Lama, Tensin Gyatso, once wrote that his religion is kindness. Robert Louis Stevenson considered that kindness is the essence of love.

D.

Another Early Warning Sign of Alzheimer's Disease

2014-03-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

Lead author of a new study, Alan Castel, assistant professor of psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles, believes that one of the first signs that Alzheimer’s disease may be developing is: a failure to control attention.

Research published in the May 2009 issue of the journal “Neuropsychology”, indicates that memory can be a limited resource and as we get older, we need to be more selective in focusing on what the important things are that need to be remembered while letting less important things slide away from our working – day to day – memory. Healthy older adults become more selective in what they want to remember as they age, and focus their attention away from matters they deem less important. According to Castel, the ability to be selective likely declines in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease.

The study in question recruited three groups of individuals: group one consisted of 109 healthy adults with an average age of slightly less than 75. Sixty-eight of this group’s participants were women. Group two consisted of 54 older adults with very mild Alzheimer’s disease, who were functioning fine from day to day. Twenty-two of these participants were female, with an average age of slightly less than 76. The third group consisted of 35 young adults. The average age of this group was 19.

Words displayed on a screen at one second intervals were given low to high point values. At the end of the word presentation, each participant was given 30 seconds to recall the words (which were all common words), and told to focus on the words that had been assigned a higher value in order to maximize the scores.

The young adults were selective in which words they did and did not recall. They remembered more of the high-value words and forgot more of the low-value words.

The healthy older adults remembered fewer words, but were equally selective in what they did remember – remembering more of the words of higher value than the words of lower value. Short term memory capacity declines with age, so the fact that this group remembered fewer words than the younger group did was not surprising to the researchers.

The participants with mild Alzheimer’s disease recalled very few words and their ability to be selective in order to maximize their scores was worse.

As we age, memory can become a very limited resource over time, so focus on the few important things that you need to remember from time to time. For instance, if you are travelling to another city to attend a wedding, ensure that you have your travel documents and all the medications you might need for the duration of your trip. Perhaps your favourite outfit and the wedding gift are to be remembered, too. Anything else you may forget to pack can likely be picked up at the destination.

And, as a final note, perhaps not salient to this study, but good in terms of practical day to day functioning: remember to make lists and consult them as required.

D.

(1) "Early Alzheimer’s: Not Remembering What is Important to Remember", June 28, 2009, http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090625152933.htm

Intelligence Quotient (IQ) and Thickness of the Brain's Cortex

2014-03-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

The rate of change in the thickness of the brain’s cortex is an important factor associated with a person’s change in the intelligence quotient, more popularly known as IQ. For decades, it was a commonly held belief that IQ remains more or less constant over time, so that your childhood IQ is pretty well what you have for life.

According to a comprehensive study by scientists at the Montreal Neurological Institute and Hospital, at McGill University, and at the McGill University Health Centre, (all of which are located in Montreal, Quebec) as well as by scientists from four other countries, IQ varies over time according to the thickness of the brain’s cortex.

The cortex is the thin, outermost layer of the brain’s nerve cell tissue. It usually measures just a few millimetres in thickness. It contains nerve cell bodies and is critical for cognitive functions such as perception, language, memory and consciousness.

It appears that the cortex begins to thin around the age of six or seven as part of the normal process of aging. The study in question here, led by Professor Sherif Karama of McGill University, and his colleagues, involved following 188 children and adolescents over a period of two years. Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) of the young people was conducted at six sites across the United States. This study is the first to show the association between cortical thickness and development as it relates to full scale IQ. It found that within a relatively short period of two years: “people with a significant increase in IQ did not have the expected cortical thinning; people whose IQ stayed the same had the normal expected cortical thinning; people with a significant decrease in IQ had exaggerated cortical thinning.” (1)

The reasons behind the findings remain unclear. Some of the developmental changes may be genetically pre-determined, or other factors such as nutrition and education may be at play. The changes could also be due to a combination of these or include other unconsidered factors.

D.

(1) “Link Between IQ and Brain Cortex Confirmed By New Evidence”, http://www.redorbit.com/news/science/1113086884, March 2014.

Interval Training for Brain Health

2014-02-17T12:50:00.001-08:00

Studies confirm that interval training helps improve and maintain good blood flow and delivery of nutrients to the brain. This helps, in turn, to improve and maintain cognitive functioning. This intense type of training - while vigorous - can be accomplished without a huge commitment of time. Interval training twice per week, for about thirty minutes, will suffice. Three times a week, however, is even better. In order to maintain an adequate level of intensity during the interval training session, use of a treadmill, elliptical trainer, or stationary bike is recommended, although I imagine that other methods such as outdoor sprinting would work just as well. Many people don't enjoy working out in a gym. Many do not have the means or the room for large pieces of exercise equipment. A two to three minute warm-up is recommended at the outset of the session, followed by eight, 30-second bursts of high intensity exercise, with 90 seconds of much lower intensity output between each of the eight bursts. Warm down for three to five minutes at the end of the session. Please consult your physician, however, before increasing the intensity of, or changing the nature of, any exercise regimen.

Kale and the Prevention of Cognitive Decline

2014-01-28T18:55:00.001-08:00

"Leslie Beck's Longevity Diet" is full of information with respect to the power of food to slow down the aging process. One of the so-called power foods she mentions is kale. After outlining numerous other health benefits like vision preservation and anti-cancer properties, Ms. Beck zeroes in on kale's ability to slow the rate of cognitive decline.

Among other things, kale contains a fair amount of vitamin E and manganese. Vitamin E is thought to shield brain cell membranes from free radical damage. The brain is especially vulnerable to free radical damage due to its high demand for oxygen, its great number of easily oxidized cell membranes and its somewhat weak antioxidant defences. Manganese is a trace mineral that is a crucial component of superoxide dismultase, an enzyme which acts as an antioxidant. "Superoxide dismultase is found exclusively inside the mitochondria, or energy factory, of body cells, where it protects against damage from free radicals formed during energy production." (1)

Kale is best ingested in cooked form in order to ensure that the oxalates present in the kale can be weakened in their capacity to interfere with the absorption of calcium which is also present. Try it steamed, in soups, and in stir-fries.

(1) Beck, Leslie and Gelok, Michelle, "Leslie Beck's Longevity Diet", Penguin Group (Canada), Toronto, 2011, p. 84.)

Borderline Personality Disorder

2013-05-29T15:53:00.000-07:00

When I was practising law many years ago, I had a client who had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). At the time, I wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but I knew that in her case it involved violent outbursts that resulted once in her breaking her 10-year-old son's arm. Her two boys, one of whom was 14 at the time, were apprehended by the local child protection authorities. She was a single mother on welfare who was having extreme difficulty coping.

While I was watching a dvd of Gilbert and Sullivan's 'Iolanthe' operetta the other night, a song towards the end of the production made me think of BPD as the fairies were singing to the members of the House of Lords what basically amounted to: "we really can't stand you, but we love you, so don't go"!

BPD is still considered a controversial diagnosis in some circles. Decades ago, it was used as a 'catch all' classification for conditions which psychiatrists couldn't quite figure out.

As understood today, BPD manifests as significant emotional instability in which a person has a severely distorted self-image that makes him or her feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though lasting and loving relationships are desired. Fear of abandonment is usually a strong underlying issue, and ironically, the behaviour of someone suffering from BPD usually does result in pushing away those who they strongly desire to be in relationship with.

Signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder may include:

Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees, or illegal drug use
Awareness of destructive behavior, including self-injury, but usually feeling unable to change it
Wide mood swings
Short but intense episodes of anxiety, or depression
Inappropriate anger and antagonistic behavior, sometimes escalating into physical fights
Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses
Suicidal behavior
Feeling misunderstood, neglected, alone, empty or hopeless
Fear of being alone
Feelings of self-hate and self-loathing
An insecure, unsure sense of self (self-identity, self-image, sense of self rapidly changes)
Feelings of not existing or of disappearing; of not being thought of or cared about
Tumultuous relationships with shifts to fury and hate over perceived slights/minor misunderstandings
Tendency to view things in either black or white (not seeing the grey areas of issues).

As with most mental disorders, personality disorders may be inherited, or strongly associated with other mental disorders among family members, environmental factors such as child abuse, neglect or lack of proper attachment to caregivers/loved ones, or brain abnormalities.

Certain medications can help, but ideally should be combined with an effective form of therapy and support. Certain psychotherapies can go a long way towards nullifying some of the symptoms and teaching better coping strategies.

Dialectical behavior therapy was designed specifically to treat BDP. This method of counselling (which I just recently began to study for use in my counselling practice) uses a skills-based approach combined with physical and meditation-like exercises which teach how to regulate emotions, tolerate distress/discomfort and improve relationships. Other effective treatments include: cognitive behavioural therapy, mentalization-based therapy, schema-focused therapy, and transference-focused therapy.

To be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, you must exhibit at least five of the signs/symptoms spelled out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

Intense fear of abandonment
Pattern of unstable relationships
Unstable self-image or sense of identity
Impulsive and self-destructive behaviors
Suicidal behavior or self-injury
Wide mood swings
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Anger-related problems, such as frequently losing one's temper or having physical fights
Periods of paranoia and loss of contact with reality (1)

A diagnosis of borderline personality disorder is usually made in adults, rather than in children or teenagers because acting out during the younger years is likely a phase that will pass. If it doesn't pass, then BPD may be implicated. Additionally, substance abuse can cause symptoms which look like BPD, and BPD can cause substance abuse.

(1) www.mayoclinic.com/health/borderline-personality-disorder/DS00442

On Children

2013-04-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

How we treat our children (what we say to them, how we listen to them) is ultimately what matters to their healthy emotional development…not what we DO for them. Doing for them is important, especially when they are young, but it is simply not enough. They need to be heard, valued, and respected as thinking and feeling individuals. They need to know and to feel that they matter.

Children and Our Values

2013-04-12T14:33:00.003-07:00

Even though our children will take on our values as their own while they are young, there is no guarantee that they will keep them. As they mature, they will constantly look at, assess and reassess the rules and values they inherited from us. This is growth: growth towards becoming separate, complete and whole individuals.

D.

From the book, "It's not fair, Jeremy Spencer's parents let him stay up all night!", by Anthony E. Wolf, Ph.D., HarperCollinsCanadaLtd., 1995.

(As an aside, I get a real kick out of the title of another book by Anthony Wolf: "Get out of my life, but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall?")

Belonging

2013-04-12T14:25:00.002-07:00

A sense of belonging can be an important source of happiness and life satisfaction. Social identity theory hypothesizes that fitting in with a group is integral to an individual's identity, influencing his or her feelings of self-worth and life satisfaction.

D.

Scientific American Mind, September/October 2011, "The Many Faces of Happiness", Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, p. 53.

The Power of Creating 'Flow' in Your Life

2013-04-04T14:15:00.003-07:00

There are so many things that I enjoy doing that don't make me any money, but put me in the state of 'flow' which is so essential to good mental health. Things like taking photos, keeping up my various blogs, writing, researching, gardening, and more, thoroughly nourish me. I can wile away hours in something I would term the 'zen zone' and the time spent during these hours is so much more gratifying than say, zoning out in front of the television.

Finding intense engagement and absorption in the things that you do creates tremendous satisfaction in daily life. According to studies carried out by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, professor of psychology at Claremount University in California, flow experiences lead to positive emotions in the short term. In the long term, those who reported more flow experiences were generally happier people. People vary in their ability to enter flow, and this ability can vary from day to day depending on a number of factors. Also, recognizing how flow occurs in your life - or doesn't occur - and working to create more opportunities for experiences of flow can be a precursor to feeling increased happiness.

While you are in flow, hours can pass like minutes; hence, the old saying about how time flies when you are having fun! Something you love - something you can lose yourself in - is key. You aren't preoccupied with yourself, but focused on whatever it is that you are doing. Some people can experience flow just folding laundry or washing dishes, provided they focus on the task at hand. Flow and mindfulness go hand in hand. You aren't wondering how others are perceiving you, but rather your awareness of yourself is only in relation to what it is that you are doing. Extraneous thoughts don't invade your mind. The activity itself, rather than what you wish to ultimately accomplish by the activity (the goal), is in itself rewarding. Flow activities are not passive, (like zoning out in front of the tv), and you have at least some control over what you are doing. Although flow activities require effort, when you achieve flow, everything seems to click so that it feels effortless. Flow is intrinsically rewarding, so you have the motive to recreate it when you have the opportunity to do so.

For flow experiences to occur, there must be a balance between the challenge of the activity and the level of skill you need in order to perform it. The activity must fully engage your mind in order to avoid creating feelings of boredom, so must be challenging enough to do so. Conversely, a project or task too challenging for your skill set will create anxiety.

D.

Source: "Positive Psychology: Harnessing the power of happiness, mindfulness, and inner strength", Julie Corliss (writer), Ronald D. Siegel, Psy. D. (medical editor), Harvard Health Publications, Harvard Medical School, Harvard University, 2013.

Six Human Virtues

2013-03-22T13:20:00.001-07:00

According to University of Pennsylvania psychologist, Martin Seligman, there are six human core characteristics (so-called virtues) that seem to be universally valued and are worth nurturing/developing in yourself with a view towards living a satisfying or happy existence. They are: wisdom, humanity, courage, justice, temperance and transcendence.

Wisdom encompasses the following strengths: creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning and perspective. Use your imagination to develop new ideas and objects and also to invent solutions to practical problems. Show interest in, and be eager to learn about, a wide variety of topics. Have new experiences. Explore. Examine issues from each side as fairly as you can. Don't let preconceptions get in the way. Let new evidence change your mind, if it sheds a different light on things. Build knowledge and master new skills and subjects. Perspective provides you with the ability to give wise counsel to other people. You make sense of the world in a way that makes sense to yourself and to others.

Humanity sees a person exhibiting strengths which promote and nurture friendships and other relationships. It involves social or emotional intelligence, love and kindness. Become aware of your motives and feelings as well as those of others. Develop your ability to fit into various social situations, to give and receive love, to maintain close relationships, and to nurture and care for others while exhibiting generosity, compassion and altruism.

Courage is acting in the face of fear, rather than the absence of fear. Carry out strengths of will that assist you in the face of internal or external obstacles. Show integrity by speaking truthfully, sincerely and presenting yourself authentically. Be responsible for your actions, thoughts and feelings. Bravery involves not shrinking from challenges, difficulties, threats or pain. Involve yourself fully in life: vitality, wholeheartedness, enthusiasm, energy.

Justice involves the ability to use your strengths to foster a healthy community. The key here is fairness: dealing with people while having an open mind, so as to treat them fairly and justly without letting personal feelings bias your decisions. Teamwork and leadership are essential.

Temperance involves protective traits such as self-discipline and willpower that help you stay on track in the face of temptations. Avoid excesses. Practice forgiveness and nullify hatred and anger. Humility tempers arrogance: let your accomplishments speak for themselves. Take care in what you say and do, so as to avoid later regret.

Transcendence takes you beyond yourself and connects you to others, to the world, and possibly to something greater than yourself. It allows you to appreciate beauty, skill and excellence, whether it be expressed in nature, performance, profession or in everyday things. Spirituality, gratitude, hope and humour are essential in your quest to reach beyond the self. Laugh, play, and bring a smile to another's face.

D.

Source: "Positive Psychology: Harnessing the power of happiness, mindfulness, and inner strength", Julie Corliss (writer), Ronald D. Siegel, Psy. D. (medical editor), Harvard Health Publications, Harvard Medical School, Harvard University, 2013.

Positive Psychology

2013-03-03T19:29:00.000-08:00

The field of positive psychology has grown tremendously in the past few years. Methods of positive psychology are now widely used by mental health professionals to help a variety of people with a wide array of problems.

Psychologist Martin Seligman, of the University of Pennsylvania, kicked the field of positive psychology into high gear in the 1990's with his ground-breaking concept of "learned optimism". Seligman found that optimism is a trait which most happy people seem to have. He also found that optimism - if a person does not seem to be naturally prone to it - can be taught, learned, and utilized to change a person's life for the better. Optimism can be nurtured by teaching people to challenge their patterns of negative thinking and to appreciate, and focus on, their strengths. The idea that people can become happier by building upon and growing their natural, inherent strengths is central to positive psychology.

In 2011, Seligman developed the concept of "PERMA": positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment. He submits that these components allow us to flourish because they are the building blocks of a fulfilling life. (By the way, his 2011 book, Flourish is a very interesting read.)

Positive psychology does have its share of critics who contend that it ignores suffering and denigrates sadness and that it forces people to suppress their anxieties, worries, stresses, and traumas. Furthermore, it encourages people to just "put on a happy face" while discomforting and damaging issues are suppressed and never properly dealt with so that healing can take place. Additionally, they argue that not allowing negative emotions to be expressed is demoralizing and damaging to individuals suffering very real anguish.

Most of the previous mental health research has focused on alleviating suffering by treating disorders while doing nothing to enhance an individual's life beyond lessening the effect of the disorder. At best, a neutral state of mind was the aim. Positive psychology, however, focuses on previously ignored ideas of positive emotion and meaning that are important to a person's quality of life. It embraces the full array of emotions, including sadness, pain, and grief and attempts to help people get passed these emotions towards building a more resilient nature or response in the face of adversity.

D.

On Fear and Resilience

2013-01-18T16:40:00.002-08:00

For some people, fear is constricting and can even be paralyzing. For others, fear can be energizing and can serve as a catalyst for growth. Whether we allow fear to diminish us or we find a way to enlist it as an ally, it has an enormous impact on how we conduct our lives.

We have to face our fears as boldly as we can in order to become resilient or more resilient.

D.

(From the book titled "Resilience: The Science of Facing Life's Greatest Challenges", by S. Southwick and D. Charney, Cambridge University Press, 2012.)

Building Resiliency in Children

2012-09-21T16:32:00.000-07:00

According to George S. Everly, Jr., Ph.D. the author of The Resilient Child, the most essential lesson a parent can teach a child is the ability to cope with stress and adversity. "This is known as resilience, which can be thought of as the ability to be resistant to stress (a kind of immunity), as well as the ability to rebound from adversity. It also may be the critical difference between happiness and regret, success or failure." (p.8)

If a parent can school a child in resilience, then when adversity comes his way when he is no longer living at home, and he doesn't need a parent in order to deal with it, then the parent will know that she has been successful. One of the best things one can do as a parent, beyond unconditionally loving and accepting a child for who he is, and providing the basic necessities of life such as nutritional food and safe shelter, is to strive to make the role as parent obsolete.

In order to meet the objective of building resilience in a child, we must allow children, teach children, to develop the inner strength that makes all things possible. A powerful set of actions, beliefs and codes is vital. Together, these form the core strength of personal character.

Everly describes seven essential lessons for building resilience in a child and calls these lessons the ABC's of creating and supporting inner strength. A stands for Actions, B for Beliefs and C, of course, stands for Codes.

The first four lessons discuss actions. Lesson #1 calls for the building of strong relationships with friends and mentors. Lesson #2 calls for the courage to make difficult decisions. Lesson #3 teaches responsibility: the child must own his own actions. The fourth lesson discusses self-investment: the best way for the child to help others and himself is to stay healthy. I would add that actions towards supporting health require willpower/self-control/self-discipline - a key element in the formula required for leading a successful life.

Everly goes on to write that actions need support from beliefs. Lesson #5 is learned or natural optimism. Learn to think on the bright side and to use the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy. Lesson #6 covers the development of faith: the belief in something greater than yourself.

Finally, Everly discusses the code and writes that it is "an overarching set of principles or rules that ultimately serves to guide all of a person's actions." (p.10) Follow a moral compass and strive to have integrity.

Everly believes that these lessons can help children develop the inner strength of character needed to create the resiliency required to face the challenges in life. What a gift to give to our children: to have resilience regardless of the events they may encounter in their lives.

D.

The Resilient Child: Seven Essential Lessons for your Child's Happiness and Success, George S. Everly, Jr., Ph.D., The Johns Hopkins University Bloomberg School of Public Health, Center for Public Health Preparedness, Loyola College in Maryland, and The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Sloane Brown, DiaMedica Publishing, 2009.

Menopause Memory Pause

2012-07-25T16:47:00.000-07:00

According to many doctors, women imagine many of their reported symptoms of menopause, or doctors connect the symptoms to something other than menopause. Women have never been viewed as the most credible of the sexes by doctors. New research, however, is beginning to support one of the claims of so many menopausal women: difficulties with memory and concentration. A new study in the Journal Menopause shows that the mental fog reported by many menopausal women is valid. Researchers gave a battery of cognitive tests to seventy-five menopausal women and also asked them how menopause affected their thinking. "Nearly half of them reported serious forgetfulness in the study, and the women who described the most problems with concentration and memory also scored worse on the cognitive tests." (1) The researchers hope that these findings will spur on additional research directed at finding treatments.

For me, a good night's sleep - rare these days - makes a huge difference in my thinking and memory skills as well as with my outlook on life. For many women it becomes more difficult to fall asleep, to stay asleep, and to enter stages 3 and 4 of deep sleep. Fluctuating, unbalanced hormones lie at the root of this type of insomnia during this stage of life.

D.

(1) Scientific American Mind, July/August 2012, "The Mental Pause of Menopause", Carrie Arnold, p. 11.