Psycho culture

Spirit Child

2011-03-04T19:59:00.000-06:00

Child of fire, fire child
So bold and wild
Your passion ignites
The sky with your fiery delights
Dancing on the tips
Along the galaxy edge across a lunar eclipse
The bright star
Across the universe you will have far
To go..refuse to reveal your fears
No matter the cost in brimstone tears
Child of air, windy child
Your cerebral and tempered mild
You fly across the stars, universe and galaxy
Your silent in the dark and labeled crazy
By the narrow and ordinary mortal
Keep your fairy wings always swan graceful
Your rich with wisdom brilliant and the ballet
Of whispered words are the songs of today
Child of water, child of icew
Wielding your mighty sarcasm so to slice
Your prey, as you will need to put your monsters to sleep
Hush, behind closed lips your secrets you keep
Angel warriors watch by your bed
Violent dreams cause your heartbreak til your soul bled
But your spirit is so strong
Fighting the world that is wrong
Child of earth, earth child
The gods of the universe smiled
Created the rainbow and colored them in colors and light
Singing songs and commanding the stars to shine bright
Always to guide you home
For the world you must roam
Pushing bone into stone
Taming the seas and conquering the highest mountain as your throne

Madness

2011-03-04T19:55:00.000-06:00

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My mind is behaving weirdly—oozing thoughts violating my sanity
—If you dare come follow me
Crawl deep into my misery
and blast off to a dark galaxy
My so-called friends are all mad at me with their fucking reeking mentality
It’s a wasteland—-total ZOMBIELAND
I slit my wrists and show my tiits

It’s absurd truly, since we are ALL just misfits (in Lucifer’s wicked circle jerk)
Fiendish behavior is all that transmits
You might find it truly, very, strangely, odd
that a unicorn told me there was no God
Stating the obvious of our corrupted doom and explaining that humans are flawed
I never got off on church really or the holy rolling God squad
Long ago I saw the truth behind the fascade
My life is wasted and I’ve always fought for what I got
I guess you just forgot….

sb 2011

Untitled

2011-02-22T00:33:00.001-06:00

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10 Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong

2011-02-21T23:15:00.001-06:00

This is great...says it all in a very logical way... people open your narrow little minds!!

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Embalming....

2011-02-20T16:30:00.000-06:00

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The Five Stages of Embalming
1. Pre-Embalming
At anytime, day or night, the funeral professional may be called upon to do his or her job. People have a tendency to die at the most inconvenient times, and a mortician cannot wait until later to retrieve a body. This means lots of getting up at 1 AM and having to work on holidays.
When someone dies and once authorization has been granted by the family, doctor, and/or by the medical examiner, the embalmer is called to make the “removal” of the body. After filling out the appropriate paperwork the embalmer takes the body to the funeral home, and if embalming is requested or required, begins the process.
An embalming report is filled out that logs all jewelry and personal items on the body; details any discolorations, cuts, bruises, etc. on the body; and documents the procedures and chemicals used during embalming. This report can become very valuable if a deceased’s family bring a lawsuit against the funeral home.
All clothing, bandages, IV needles, catheters and such are removed. A strong disinfectant spray is used to clean the skin, eyes, mouth, and other orifices. If rigor mortis (the stiffening of muscles after death) has set in, it is relieved by moving the limbs and head about and massaging the muscles. If the decedent is a man, he is normally shaved at this point. Razor burn (yes, not even death can save you from this) is less likely before the arterial chemical firms the skin of the face. Even women and children are shaved to remove the fine “peach fuzz” we all have on our faces. This is done to avoid the makeup from collecting on the hair and making the makeup more noticeable.
2. Feature Setting
Next begins the process of placing the facial features and the body itself in the position it will remain in the casket for viewing. This is done before arterial embalming, because the body will be truly “set” – firmed in position once formaldehyde reaches the tissues.
Great care is taken to close the eyes. The traditional method for doing this involves placing a bit of cotton between the eye and eyelid. Many times after death the eyes sink back into their sockets, so small plastic “eye caps” are placed on each eye ball. A small amount of stay creme is placed on the eyecap to avoid dehydration of the eyelids. Contrary to popular myth, the eyelids are never sewn shut, but in some cases that may be glued together to prevent separation.
The mouth is closed either by tying the jaw together with a piece of suture string or by a special injector gun. With the suture method, a curved needle with a piece of suture string is threaded through the jaw below the gums, stuck through upper jaw into to the right nostril, threaded through the septum of the nose into the left nostril, and then passed back down into the mouth. The two ends of suture are tied, careful not too tightly, so that a natural appearance of the mouth is created.
To finish closing the mouth, many times a mouth former is used. A mouth former is similar to an eyecap as it has a textured side that grips the lips, but it is shaped like the mouth. A small amount of stay creme is also used on the mouth to avoid dehydration and help hold the lips in place. The mortician may also squeeze inside the mouth a little mastic compound, a paste kind of like caulk to give the mouth a better and more pleasing shape.
3. Arterial Embalming
Arterial embalming is begun by injecting embalming fluid into an artery while the blood is drained from a nearby vein or from the heart. The two gallons or so needed is usually a mixture of formaldehyde or other chemical and water. In the case of certain cancers, some diabetic conditions, or because of the drugs used prior to death (where body deterioration has already begun), a stronger or “waterless” solution is likely to be used for better body preservation. Chemicals are also injected by syringe into other areas of the body.
Once the embalming fluid begins to flow into the arterial system, pressure begins to build up in the entire vascular system. This helps the fluid reach all parts of the body and penetrate into the tissues. Evidence of this can be seen in bulging veins throughout the body. The jugular drain tube is opened periodically (it is normally closed) to allow blood to escape and prevent too much pressure in the vascular system which could cause swelling. The blood drains directly into the sewer system, which sounds gross, but in reality much worse things go into our sewers.
Once arterial injection has been completed, the arterial and jugular tubes are removed, the vessels are tied closed, and the incision used to access the vessels is sutured closed and sealed with a special chemical.
4. Cavity Embalming
Arterial fluids mainly treat the skin, muscles, and organs themselves. What’s inside the organs (such as urine, bile, etc.) begins to decompose. Gases and bacteria can build up and cause distention, odor, and purge (such as brown fluids coming out of the mouth – not exactly the way you want to remember grandma). These bacteria can sometimes spread to other parts of the body, even after arterial embalming, causing decomposition problems (and then sometimes legal problems for the funeral home).
Cavity treatment starts with aspirating (suctioning) fluids out of the internal organs in the abdomen and thoracic cavity. This is accomplished this with the use of a trocar. The embalmer uses it to puncture the stomach, bladder, large intestines, and lungs. Gas and fluids are withdrawn before “cavity fluid” (a stronger mix of formaldehyde) is injected into the torso. The anus and vagina may be packed with cotton or gauze to prevent seepage if necessary. (A close-fitting plastic garment may also be used.)
These steps apply only to a body that has not been autopsied. During autopsy all the internal organs are removed and inspected by the medical examiner and then placed back inside the body or sometimes incinerated. At the funeral home, the mortician removes the viscera and places it in a plastic bag called a “viscera bag” and allows it to soak in cavity chemical. The inside of the body cavity is aspirated with a special instrument and then coated with an embalming gel and/or an embalming powder. The treated organs are then placed back inside the body or the bag full of organs gets placed at the foot end of the casket (so never try to admire a deceased’s shoes!)
5. Post-Embalming
The body and hair are washed once more to remove any blood or chemicals and then thoroughly dried. Any restorations are done now, such as rebuilding features, masking sores or abrasions, etc. Makeup gets applied to the face, neck, and hands. Either a translucent makeup is used in normal cases or an opaque makeup is applied if the skin is discolored. In either case, the effect should be a subtle as possible to avoid Uncle Roger looking like Aunt Rose. The fingernails are trimmed. The hair is styled, either by the embalmer or by a professional hairdresser or barber.
The remains are dressed in the outfit chosen by the family. This outfit almost always includes underwear, shoes, and socks. In the case of autopsy or other difficulties, plastic undergarments are placed on the body to prevent leakage.
Finally comes casketing. The body is placed into the casket and posed in the proper position. The family normally views the body at this point and decides on any changes that need to be made. During the viewing period (which can sometimes last for several days) the embalmer will periodically check the body for signs of decomposition and takes any corrective action.

Resolutions

2011-02-07T09:33:00.000-06:00

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Feminist Resolutions for 2011

Speak up, stand up for myself and others, and always ask questions

Read feminist zines

Educate myself, and inform others about why feminism is relevant

Smash the patriarchy

DIY, recycle, and buy local

Be a riot grrrl

Fight all oppression I encounter

Participate in consciousness-raising

Combat rape culture

Love my body and encourage others to love theirs

Boycott, resist, and protest when the situation calls for it

Maintain awareness of the ways race, class, gender, and sexuality intersect

Analyze my motivations and be proud of my choices

Volunteer at a domestic violence shelter or as a clinic escort

Validate my fears and feelings

Listen, support, and love

What are some of your feminist resolutions

Honestly I’m against making resolutions for myself and I have a lot of other goals that I need achieved before even thinking about this sort of stuff, so this is mostly a reblog for my followers to check out and consider making a feminist resolution list for themselves.

2011-02-07T09:14:00.000-06:00

Faith

2011-02-07T08:49:00.000-06:00

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i see so many people claiming to be working for the Lord but being so accusatory and judgmental that they might as well not be trying at all. i know that when i was atheist, i was turned off by the majority of christians because they were so impatient and condescending. it’s like, you can’t just expect to convert someone by telling them they’re going to Hell. they don’t even believe in Hell. you can’t rip down someone’s beliefs and expect them to leap right into yours. that’s not how it works. anyone who is strong enough to develop their own opinions deserves the respect those opinions should generate.

i read this over and i had to re-blog. it hurts me to agree with this, but i most certainly do. the truth is, most non-believers are non-believers because the people who do believe do not live or interact with people in a way that mirrors the love of God at all. often times you meet Christians and they are some of the most pride filled group of people, at least from my experiences. i’ve also encountered a lot of external Christians. the ones that are boastful about their status of being a saved soul and condemn every one else for not being one and separate themselves from sinners. i even use to go to a church when i was much younger where i was eventually bullied out of it by other girls in the youth groups i was in. i’ve stayed away from churches, but i’ve met a lot of genuinely good people. people with hearts and humility that is sometimes overwhelming. and for awhile, i was even hesitant to ever share with anyone what denomination i was apart of whenever i was asked. i think sometimes people get so caught up in doctrine and creating rules to leave people out, not because they want to push people out, but just so that they can fill like they’re in. so they can have something to point at and say there we’re different from them and so we are with God and they are not. we forget sometimes and i think shouting you’re going to hell at someone is about the worst possible thing that you can do. how about living a life that is a demonstration of all the things you believe in. how about showing people what sacrificial love is instead of just shoving words and commandments down their throat? i mean sure, all of that is important and i respect that Christianity is what it is and it has rules and guidelines . i didn’t come to believe in God because someone sat me down and read to me until i believed that he was real. i came to believe that he was real because i believed in Him and had interactions with people whose lives and character showed that to me. you should never give your life meaning by belittling someone else’s life. i believe we are all the same, and i believe the Christian Bible teaches just that, that through God’s eyes we are all one in the same. and sure, every church is different and every Christian is different, which is why i believe so strongly in having personal convictions. step outside of your church and go show people what God is really about. love people like you do not know how to do anything else. how about actually giving because you genuinely believe in giving and do not worry about receiving? how about making friends with sinners? sitting inside your “perfect” home and “perfect” life isn’t helping you and it isn’t helping the God that you believe in so strongly. understand that it is always and have always been much bigger than you. faith happens in trust. you are responsible for demonstrating God’s love and faith and mercy and grace if you have been blessed with it. it matters. i cannot even begin to explain how much it matters. how about love? really actively loving someone and anyone and doing it in a way that does not compromise your soul. you are right and i am wrong has never led people to an agreement. and i am not asking you to be passive. i am asking you to be bold. be bold in love and be passionate. if you are really as radically changed and as personally convicted on His love as you say you are, then live as if you are. God is about love, i’ve never seen anyone not drawn to love. love and live as Jesus did, that’s the whole point of this right?

Quote

2011-02-07T00:28:00.000-06:00

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"Psychedelics are not illegal because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out the first story window, psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve phonic structures and culturally laid down novels of behavior and information processing, they open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong."

Terence McKenna (via shrooming) (via vintage-hippie, theuniverseworks) (via mentaljewelries)

Grotesque Act 1

2011-02-07T00:22:00.000-06:00

This theatre smells of iron, cologne

smoke and lost hope

an audience that stinks of aging privilege

still they gather for the macabre performance

The stench holds you so your impulses

are like those of kissable puddles

what do you know

unreason fornicating with itself?

You are so heavy, not like me

are you nothing but chemistry

with a twisted sense of humor?

Let your chemicals elope

oh why bother

you are not so interesting

you are too much, or not enough

really all they have to do is fuck

will that satisfy your funk-wet wings?

Your show has the stench of urine

Who knows the difference between desecration and redemption?

2011-02-07T00:08:00.000-06:00

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you are calm and reposed. let your beauty unfold, pale white like the skin stretched across your bones. spring keeps you ever so close, you are second hand smoke. you are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins, holding onto yourself the best you can, you are the smell before the rain, you are the blood in my vein.

2011-01-25T17:55:00.001-06:00

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In time,
I think
I will be
just fine.
(if not
I'm finding
the wine)

2011-01-25T17:52:00.001-06:00

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She sobbed until her nose ran and her throat was sore, and she hit her fist against the fragile black desk, cursing the day her thoughts had overridden her logic. She sought help before she pulled the trigger and read that, "Suicide is not chosen, it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping." and these words brought her back to reality, and those words made her cry harder.

Death would not relieve her pain and pills could only do so much. There was no escape from life, because even running away couldn't suffocate the guilt and anxiety, nor the sickness inside her head. There was no hope except for the hopes and dreams of the future-- these were the things that kept her breathing.

She splashed her face with water and stared at herself in the mirror. Her red nose, bloodshot eyes, cherry lips and thought about the future. Than she put down the gun, returned the pills to the container, threw away the razor, stepped back from the cliff and walked away...and kept on living.

2011-01-25T17:39:00.001-06:00

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I can't even begin to describe to you what it's like to crave the ability to feel. When your numb from what is supposed to be emotional devastation you wish more than anything to be allowed to feel the sadness instead of just sitting in a corner of your mind, observing the tragedy and admiring the beauty.

And than you turn on a piercing song that normally you wouldn't be able to hear without crumbling, yet all it does is make the moment more beautiful. And you sit there and grip your head going insane with the lack of pain, lack of fear, lack of emotion.

BECAUSE IT'S BETTER TO FEEL IT ALL.
It's reassuring.
Like a pulse.
It assures you that you're human.

THE APATHY IS TERRIFYING!!!

PIC

2011-01-23T02:21:00.000-06:00

It's Just a Word

2011-01-23T00:33:00.000-06:00

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"No, the word itself is not “just ugly”; that’s the rhetoric of rationalisation, an irrational disgust glossed over with the spurious self-justification that it’s not a taboo, honest, just the aesthetics of the sounds. Cause, yeah, the word “country” really brings that knee jerk response out in us too, doesn’t it? No? No, it’s just a typical English word, like “punt” or “bunt,” “cant” or “count.” It’s not some perfect storm of phonic dissonance that just so happens to be attached to female genitalia. Cunt. What’s the big deal?"

DIDO

2011-01-22T17:57:00.000-06:00

I absolutely adore this chick, her voice is amazing...

hey peeps, how is your weekend? I am not that wonderful. I had mean dreams, but what is new? I wake screaming most days, and I chase the monsters away. I have battled before I even get out of bed.

Double Trouble - love dont live here anymore

2011-01-21T01:15:00.000-06:00

This song is so fucking fabulous and it takes me there. Just fucking groove you punks!!!

Favorite Words

2011-01-19T15:21:00.000-06:00

Bless. kiss. poison. music. soul. epiphany. harmony. peace. stardust. shimmer.quixotic.seashell. moonlight. symphony. enigma. sapphire. felicity. synchronicity. serendipity. rogue. essence. nirvana. wickedosity. cinnamon. Zoe. Zion. whisper. dream. pearl.

10 Secrets

2011-01-19T15:17:00.000-06:00

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1. I don't have a home.
2. There are mornings I hate my reflection. Other mornings I hate my own body.
3. I never cried at my father's funeral.
4. I wasn't there when my mom died.
5. My sister threw me away and ignores me.
6. I was diagnosed bi polar, lupus, and wicked smart.
7. I am lost.
8. I hate for strangers to touch me.
9. I am part mermaid.
10. I miss Bode and Zoe so much it hurts.

....when i saw you sitting there...

2011-01-19T15:11:00.000-06:00

You were just a boy on a bed in a room like a kaleidoscope is a tube full of bits of broken glass. But the way I saw you was pieces refracting the light, shifting into an infinite universe of fluorescent rainbows and insects and plants, magical dividing cells, pictures no one else knew.

Who?

2011-01-19T14:09:00.000-06:00

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Who you trying to inmpress?

Just noise

Lacking order

No real color or taste

{so what are you doing?}

Shades of your twisted tongue

on/off, hot/cold, go/come

Lies all shiny

Wannabe for brotherhood

With fuck you overtones

Porn shot through view

Sleazy low rent

Motel rooms

Thinking about

Cops, snitch and FBI

Oh My

Going in circles

Head conflicted body

Numb to differnce

Of truth and lies

Brain rotted

Your fried

Just how

Did you become

Such a mess

You have sucked

The meat, blood and juice

From the bone

Tasted the flesh

Afraid to be alone

I know

People and chemicals

The stink of intensity

Aftertaste of intimacy

Viewing infinity

I want to be

Who I am

or die

But not you

So who are you

Trying to impress??

sb 1210

Between

2011-01-19T13:57:00.000-06:00

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Between sleep and dreams
where poet ninja's
burn the past
   once again
    and again
fighting battles real and metaphysical
   chasing the monsters away
before you wake
Breaking the chains that bind
to the destructive patterns that repeat
Somewhere between freedom and prison
built in your mind
Traded eagle wings for carrion flight
since freedom wasn't free, and a burden
to a place called the Shadowland

The land of ghosts
a parallel universe the phoenix in reverse
falling to ashes was my curse
In the forest of shadows where vampires exist
a place dividing dream from nightmare
the place between a whisper and a scream
   a kiss and a cut
       where pleasure is pain
The land of in betweens
trapped in the cosmic axis doorways entering the Multiverse

Trapped between here and there
caught between a prayer and a curse
between hunter and prey
   laughter and sorrow
baptism and sin
     union and seperation
between light and dark
    earth and sky
   silence and sound
The place between love and hate
insanity and genius
logic and illusion
You hear between truth and lies
taste the color between sunrise and sunset
the feeling between courage and fear
   the force between positive and negative

The place between Blinding Pristine White
and Deepest Darkest Black

The perfect shade of Gray

Existing on the edge of blessed and cursed
the place between myth and legend
a world of shadows and madness
   where you fall before regeneration
    the zone between angels and demons
   between somewhere and nowhere
      X marks the spot: You are Here

Lies the color of your soul
a mixture of spirit and flesh
here lies the answers that are within you
   between the journey of this life and the next
between death and birth
Here is where you define your destiny
and here is where you lead the way
out of the shadows
Your only escape
from here til then...

sb 2011

Quote

2011-01-19T13:35:00.000-06:00

Le bonheur est salutaire le corps, mais c'est le chagrin qui developpe les forces de l'esprit....

(Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the mind)

He Was Rush With It

2011-01-05T05:16:00.000-06:00

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Hey
These naughty thoughts inside my head are mine
they are yours when you linger
sweet and warn between my legs
and they are perverse with sunday school ancient whispered
secrets that slither and slink like the satan in your
kitchen sink or a cockroach when you turn the light
on because it's easier to lie in
the dark
i saw her plunging desperation the tri millennial slut miss
jezebel what a scandalous red disaster with her dancing
all jerky and no shame her eyes never looked away from
your eyes that never left me with your fuck me
gaze so naked and i wanted to kiss your lips so rush with
our hot deception i could taste your poison as my sin and i
suffered in my desire that screamed now now as words tangled
with our bodies and sweat on skin on sweat on your mouth tongue
so fucking urgent now and those words were mine and
they were dirty they dripped with my sick need
and they fell damp beneath your ache like the sweet
slices of cantaloupes by the sink

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