tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3410580763494059332022-11-25T12:57:12.159+01:00My other books: The Tao of Spiritual Partnership & The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self & Emotional Unavailability & Neediness are @ Amazon. "Rewiring the Soul" is now also available in German & Spanish.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1520125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-75337397592374248432021-08-16T12:44:00.003+02:002021-10-01T13:09:32.879+02:00

The reason it is impossible to be happy tomorrow as the title implies, is because you never actually manage to “arrive at” tomorrow. You are always “in” today. If you are not aware, and not here now, because you are elsewhere or elsewhen in your mind, then we might speculate that your mind is being run by your subconscious. And if your mind is being run by your subconscious, we can deduce that

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-91975610322566650352021-07-12T12:57:00.003+02:002021-09-01T13:06:16.178+02:00

 If no one ever showed you how to walk, or if no one ever walked in your presence, you would probably still be able to learn on your own, but it would take much longer. In other words, having a role model or a step-by-step plan makes it infinitely easier to reach your goal. It’s the same thing with self-regulation, one of the cornerstones of emotional maturity. By knowing how to self-regulate,

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-66793219246625058472021-06-21T17:53:00.012+02:002021-08-11T16:53:26.478+02:00

The topic of drama in our lives – particularly in our closest relationships – is one I touched on several years ago with The Adrenaline Rush of Relationship Drama. Now I’d like to specifically examine control dramas, their impact on our lives, as manifested in many different types of relationships, as well as the manner in which they drain us and therefore steal our energy. Control and its role

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-62669493653452513302021-02-09T12:45:00.001+01:002021-02-11T12:55:28.490+01:00

 In this time of great turmoil, with the pandemic, with looming economic problems in every country, increasing hunger, and difficulties in having access to clean water and education, refugees living in desperation and squalor because we of the first world are not doing what is right, not to mention other minor matters such as the ludicrous process of Brexit, the humiliatingly preposterous US

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-89074275525634216222020-09-16T17:05:00.006+02:002020-09-16T17:21:29.136+02:00

Note: this is an excerpt from Chapter 6 of my book “Emotional Unavailability & Neediness: Two Sides of the Same Coin”.                            The lack of the opposite gender parent in a child's life can have numerous significant ramifications as we shall see in this chapter. The parent may have died physically, or is 'dead' because he/she is absent from the child's life in a meaningful way,

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-36369893736428905262020-07-14T18:33:00.001+02:002020-08-05T18:55:36.796+02:00

Jung wrote: Nothing affects the life of the child so much as the unlived life of its parent. What you do not become conscious of in yourself, will find a secret life in your child, and therefore it is truly your responsibility - not only to yourself, but also to your children - to not cease in exploring your inner self. It is crucial to understand that the part of you that you,

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-23704081301817312692020-05-15T02:30:00.004+02:002020-05-15T17:46:26.774+02:00

It’s been about seven weeks since we woke up to our new reality. Distancing. Isolation. Self-quarantine. Thoughts of contagion. Thoughts of worry, anger, fear, rage, desperation, and loneliness. Impatience with our particular circumstances – whatever they might be. Cabin fever. Masks, gloves, sanitizing lotion, Lysol, and bleach. Distress, pain, and despair. And back we go to fear and anger

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-11819326949760444302020-04-14T13:20:00.000+02:002020-06-08T17:17:34.803+02:00

As a young pre-teen living in Switzerland and Canada, I remember vividly feeling a sense of almost unbearable excitement thinking about how my life would unfold. Now mind you, I had no specific thought about the exact things that would happen – this was not an exercise in goal planning – rather, it was a sense of unadulterated joy about that which could be, but which was still veiled; not

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-35395643193578710912020-02-11T11:48:00.000+01:002020-02-26T11:53:51.842+01:00

Almost everyone knows the marvel of falling in love. Similarly, most of us have experienced the pain of love ending. What many of us don’t know is why love is not always love, even when the emotions of falling in love, or the pain of losing love are clearly very strong. Let’s examine some of the ways in which we fall in love: The chemistry between you and other person is so unusually

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-74270581216770721042020-01-14T11:55:00.000+01:002020-02-26T12:02:52.440+01:00

** Note: this is a brief excerpt from Chapter 6 of my book “The Power of Your Heart: Loving the Self” It's a general rule that no one becomes aware of the consequences of not loving the self until he is well down the road of not doing so. When realization dawns, or in a session with a therapist, it becomes obvious that poor self-image, lack of good care for the self, and spending most of

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-5060275213711909522019-12-02T18:54:00.003+01:002020-08-19T18:15:19.114+02:00

There never seems to be a short supply of articles telling us about toxic relationships, trauma bonding, or just plain dysfunctional behaviour in our interaction with others. Why are we hooked and beguiled into these situations with such seeming ease and why do they appear to occur with such frequency in most demographics? The young, the old, the rich, the poor, the educated, and the less

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-39320582620853441822019-11-12T12:06:00.000+01:002020-02-26T12:14:34.755+01:00

How do you number your friends? Is it the followers you can count on social media? Is it the people you could easily invite to a dinner party? Is it the number of people that call you frequently? Or is it the people who, in the words of Proust, make you grateful, because they contribute to your happiness; because “they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom”? The early

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-4288752433014317742019-10-15T12:22:00.000+02:002020-02-26T12:25:15.455+01:00

For anyone who is consciously following a path that leads to greater growth, understanding, and wisdom, it could be said that the small details of daily life are what can most irritate, stress, anger, bewilder, or simply defeat us – albeit momentarily. Yet, in these small details, we are offered the gift of tools that can serve us well in our quest for growth, just as a hammer can help us

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-16388751588635635762019-09-17T13:16:00.000+02:002019-10-03T13:20:40.328+02:00

Having hit rock bottom is generally considered to be one of the most difficult moments in a person’s life. It can be for any number of reasons: professional, personal (relationships, family), financial, or health, and frequently several or all of these are intertwined, making it feel like a nightmare from which you are not able to wake. If you have no tools to help you deal with this,

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-68145396121938022802019-08-20T13:28:00.000+02:002019-10-03T13:31:06.762+02:00

The honeymoon might end months, years, or even decades after the commitment you made to each other. And when it does, partnerships or marriages that survive, will have generally learned new ways of communicating in ways that involve the soul of both partners, ways that weren’t necessarily a part of the earlier period of the relationship. At the beginning, so much is easy due to the

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-67286379589246397642019-07-16T19:00:00.000+02:002019-08-13T19:28:38.914+02:00

Have you ever wondered about the you that might have been if you had studied archaeology instead of law? Or if you had married John instead of Richard, or Melanie instead of Liz? Or how about the you that might have been if you had taken up that rather challenging and even frightening opportunity to lead a team of investors of your firm, but it meant moving to India? Or how about the you

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-12710135030355236082019-06-11T17:38:00.000+02:002019-08-13T18:46:05.521+02:00

It’s the beginning of yet another day in your life, and it’s once again  - as happens every day - an opportunity to make some symbolic new beginnings. Starting some things in a new way as this day moves forward, is a decision only you can make, but it is also a decision that can have a major impact on your life and well-being. Imagine you have found yourself drinking or smoking too much. Or

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-8701032544679005022019-05-14T13:07:00.000+02:002019-05-24T13:11:16.136+02:00

It all started so brilliantly. You were so very much in love. Your partner was just what you had been looking for, for so very long, and you felt so fortunate to have found him/her. You realized just how incredible he/she was, especially – so you told yourself – once he/she got out of his own way to see his/her own magnificence. And you knew; you absolutely knew, that you would give him/her

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-25597533654860784292019-04-15T12:42:00.000+02:002019-11-13T17:05:36.081+01:00

Do you feel the suffering of others? Do you suffer when others experience emotional pain? Are you able to put yourself in their shoes as they go through an agonizing process of deep anguish? Can you sometimes pick up on what others are feeling as you come into their presence (or simply as you hear their voice on the phone) and then really live – in some figurative fashion – what they are

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-81518688776956109212019-03-12T11:32:00.000+01:002019-03-29T11:38:36.941+01:00

Have you ever wondered about the you that might have been if you had studied archaeology instead of law? Or if you had married John instead of Richard, or Melanie instead of Liz? Or how about the you that might have been if you had taken up that rather challenging and even frightening opportunity to lead a team of investors of your firm, but it meant moving to India? Or how about the you

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-58038846938662626532019-02-12T11:34:00.000+01:002019-03-05T11:57:46.780+01:00

If you thought I only read about neuroscience and spirituality, you are quite wrong. I also read novels and occasionally even peek into a tabloid. That is how I became aware of a 40-ish woman who had built up a very lucrative and successful life for herself and her children. She was twice divorced and yearned for a new partner and true love. Given the nature of her high-octane profession in

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-85177813063221537842019-01-22T12:08:00.000+01:002019-03-05T12:14:34.570+01:00

Did you think that if you start following a more ‘spiritual’ path, your sex life would become tabu? Or that you would need to ‘give it up’, in order to conform to whatever precepts you believed living a spiritual life imply? Not so. I’ve written an entire book about spiritual partnerships – The Tao of Spiritual Partnership - as opposed to conventional relationships, and it is precisely

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-13056236663749796492018-12-11T12:16:00.000+01:002019-03-05T12:19:14.914+01:00

Recently I read the following quote by Upendo Kupita Juu: “Intimacy is not entirely physical. In fact, it can have no physical interaction at all. For an intimate relationship to take place, allow someone into your thoughts. Let them hold and caress your feelings. Let them be intimate with your mind. Allow for the emotional intimacy to be the reason for passion to be bred. Now that intimacy

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-85620454672084916522018-11-02T19:16:00.000+01:002019-03-05T12:04:22.191+01:00

If you want to scale Kilimanjaro or Everest, you might spend some time looking at images of others who have succeeded in the process, and reading books describing how they went about doing it. If you want to create a garden, you might begin by looking at glossy gardening books to get a feel for what depicts that which you have in your heart, or you might get some advice from a landscape

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341058076349405933.post-15023491934062404902018-10-02T19:09:00.001+02:002021-08-07T18:03:49.224+02:00

Have you ever stopped to think why you fell in love with that person when you were 16? And that other person when you were 21? And then, of course, the one you married when you were 26? Why did you fall in love with precisely that one? Let’s not forget the one you fell in love with after your divorce. And perhaps there was someone else after that as well. And perhaps even others. What was

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0