PsychRejuvenation

Personal Transformation Can Begin in Your Closets

Sharene Garaman — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 02:36:41 +0000

Yes, resolutions can be helpful, particularly those that are more general than specific, but it takes time to see results. Cleaning out closets, garages, etc. can be done in hours and signifies more than you might suspect. I have learned to pay attention to my clients’ cleaning rituals and have found that very often they begin to clean and organize when they are about to make an important internal shift. It’s as if they are moving out the external clutter to make room for the internal cleansing.

Even if you don’t feel as though you are about to make a seismic internal shift, you can certainly set the wheels in motion by getting rid of all that stuff that no longer serves you, appeals to your sense of aesthetics, or that reminds you of something you would rather forget. Donate to friends or charities, sell, it doesn’t matter, but just begin the process of simplifying your life by cleaning out your personal space. Find a new home for what you no longer need or use.

Once you have cleaned out your spaces and places, DON’T fill them back up with new purchases. Downsize your appetite for stuff. Too much stuff is stressful. You have to store, clean, insure, polish, repair, and move your stuff from place to place. One insightful author said our homes have become landfills of too much stuff. All it takes is a major life upheaval to realize how much of it you really need. One unplanned stay in the hospital quickly lets you know what matters and what doesn’t-and it’s very little.

I remember being quite content when all my possessions fit easily into my car. Granted, it was a big American car, (one friend named it the USS Kittyhawk) but you get the idea. For almost four years, I lived in a studio apartment of 350 square feet and I was perfectly happy with my little space and minimal stuff. I couldn’t do that now, or maybe I don’t want to do that now. But I do know that it feels good to see empty space in my home and on my walls, and in my closets.

I challenge you to free up empty space in your homes, space where nothing resides, and I mean nothing. No plants, pictures, stools-nothing. Sounds easy, but it isn’t. I will try if you will…

Kindness

Sharene Garaman — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:11:05 +0000

Kindness can do more for the giver and the receiver than any interpersonal gesture I know. How often have you extended yourself with a small act of kindness or even a larger gesture? All too often, people rant and rave at other drivers, people who cut in front of us in line, or those who are simply insensitive to our needs. We can be arrogant and unforgiving of people’s mistakes and the fact that they are not moving fast enough for us.

Forget about how the other person is responding to you, graciousness begins at home. Allow other drivers to move into your lane, let people cross the street in front of your car while you wait, let others go in front of you at the grocery store. It only takes seconds to compliment people who are doing a good job. Think of how you can make someone’s life a teeny bit better. We all can use more kindness in our lives.

My favorite poem on kindness is by Naomi Shihab Nye, taken from the book, “Words Under the Words.” Nye writes that we never know how important kindness is until we feel the desolation of a deep loss, then kindness is about the only thing that really matters…

I hope you enjoy this exquisite poem as much as I do.

KINDNESS

Before you know what kindness really is

you must lose things,

feel the future dissolve in a moment

like salt in a weakened broth.

What you held in your hand,

what you counted and carefully saved,

all this must go so you know

how desolate the landscape can be

between the regions of kindness.

How you ride and ride

thinking the bus will never stop,

the passengers eating maize and chicken

will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,

you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.

You must wake up with sorrow.

You must speak to it till your voice

catches the thread of all sorrows

and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,

only kindness that ties your shoes

and sends you out into the day to mail letters and

purchase bread,

only kindness that raises its head

from the crowd of the world to say

It is I you have been looking for,

and then goes with you everywhere

like a shadow or a friend.

Secret Santa

Sharene Garaman — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 16:14:44 +0000

In Missoula, Montana, someone walked into a K-Mart store and paid off layaway for everyone who was late with their payments! It was done anonymously. Many of these families might not have had Christmas if it wasn’t for this Secret Santa.

Philanthropy without accolades, without need for acknowledgment, is true altruism. But there are huge benefits for the giver. A sense of community, empathy for others less fortunate, and generosity are all known to be reliable predictors of longevity. It seems that people who extend themselves to others are more connected and happier, therefore they may live longer.

Welcome to PsychRejuvenation!

Sharene Garaman — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 14:02:39 +0000

Hello and welcome to my Positive Psychology blog! I am a clinical and consulting psychologist who focuses on Positive Psychology. I focus on what you are doing right, instead of what you are doing wrong. I will be posting insights that might make your life a little bit happier and healthier. I encourage and welcome all of your comments and insights. We are on this journey together…

My first thought for you is to be grateful for something or someone. If possible, speak your gratitude. Tell someone you how much you appreciate what he/she has done for you. It could be a parent, mate, friend, trainer, vet-you get the idea. Then pay attention to how you feel once you have expressed that gratitude.