Inherently, most of us — men and women alike — suspect that the diametric opposite personas of «Mr. Nice Guy» and the «Bad Boy» can’t be the only possible choices when it comes to slotting guys according to their general demeanor. But based on what you tend to read nowadays, you’d think that was the case. Well, by now you know that I spend a lot of time talking about the concept of being a great man.

He is not a neuter, wussified «Mr. Nice Guy» who believes he can get somewhere by «kissing up» to pretty women. He is also not an abusive, cold-hearted slacker who slaps women around. What he is about is being a high-quality human being, who happens to exude sheer masculine presence all the while.

And it’s that «masculine presence» factor that tends to confound guys everywhere. Surely this isn’t about being «macho». It isn’t about «slaying dragons» and «conquering enemies». Of course not. At least not these days, for most of us.

So how about some straight-talk about what it IS about? Right on.

Here are six measures of true masculinity, as adored by women everywhere. Notice «adored» starts with an «A». I’ve made it so every point below starts with an «A» also. Call this lesson «How To Get Straight As In Masculinity». Ready? Here we go:

Assist With Strength

Recently I was talking to a guy who was told by a great woman that he probably wasn’t her «type», as disappointed as she was about it. When pressed why, the first reason that came to her mind revolved around how she had been struggling with a heavy suitcase at the airport… while he watched empty-handed.

Sure, women are more «independent» now than they’ve ever been. But here’s a major hint: That doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate you doing the «heavy lifting» for them. In fact, if you proudly do the high-reaching, heavy lifting and pickle-jar opening… and she doesn’t appreciate it, it’s not your problem. I promise.

Assert With Strength

About two hours ago I got an e-mail from a VIRTUOSITY guy who is making exceptional strides in his newfound ability to make high-quality women desire him immensely.

The latest? At the end of an event the other night, the venue was closing but a woman (whom he wasn’t even particularly attracted to) needed to use the bathroom before leaving for a long-ish drive home. When told she couldn’t by some employee of the venue, our main man reasoned a «newfound commitment to customer service» into the employee’s mindset. He did so with calmness, but with resolve. And every woman around, including the one he was attracted to took notice. Terrific.

Take up for the people in your life when it’s the right thing to do. Care not whether or not who you’re standing up for is attractive to you. Do this especially when it’s potentially uncomfortable for both you and for the person who requires taking some initiative toward. Try opening such conversations with,

«You and I need to ’visit’ about something.»

That’s a Texas-born phrase with universally understood intentions.

Attend With Strength

Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’re going to do it. Keep promises, without complaint. When you mess up, which will be rarely, apologize. When women can trust your promises, you build that level of safety in their minds and in their hearts. When you tell women you’ve got things handled, they believe you.

This is not to be confused with being predictable or with having a supplication problem. If you are repeatedly being «owned» by women, then you aren’t getting the concept. Think rock solid leadership versus kissing up and you are well on your way to greatness.

Women can’t resist a man who is trustworthy and dependable. It speaks volumes about your central core character strength as a man (as we’ll discuss more next).

Align With Strength

While #3 above (Attend) speaks to your actions, this one speaks to your core character. This is the more overarching, far-reaching concept. Essentially, by «alignment» here I mean that all your «numbers match», just like what makes classic car valuable. Consistency in all your thoughts, beliefs, and values… above and beyond words and deeds.

There’s a distinct congruence between who you appear to be and who you really are. In case you’re wondering, yes… this is yet another way to perfectly encapsulate the elusive cure for «What Do I Do Next Syndrome».

Assume With Strength

Yeah, I know what happens when you assume. But what we’re talking about here is not being naïve but putting away neediness in exchange for social confidence. A real man assumes approval and even attraction while neither demanding it nor begging for it. This results in an unmistakable aura of flat-out confidence that exudes masculine presence and dignity.

Lots of guys have no idea what women could possibly see in Leonardo DiCaprio. He used to be one of my least favorite actors for exactly that reason. Once I buried myself in learning about what women really want, I soon (and unwittingly) became a Leonardo DiCaprio fan. He’s got this down, that’s why.

Anticipate With Strength

Well, since «A Plan» sounded a bit, well, forced… I chose «Anticipate» as the 6th «A» on this particular report card. Come to think of it, I like «anticipate» is exactly the word I was looking for anyway.

Have a plan. When you pick her up, know where the evening’s headed. Don’t offload that on her. She won’t appreciate it.

Have a plan for your life also. Think women want rich guys? Well, being rich is merely a symptom of ambition, as we’ve discussed around here before. Women love a man with a plan for his life. It’s irresistible to them. But «anticipation» is more than a plan. It’s leadership.

The anticipator has his «plan» mapped out several chess moves in advance. That way no matter what goes down, he’s never rattled. He’s the guy with the Swiss Army knife. He’s the guy with the jumper cables. We already know (see #1) he’s the guy who rescues his woman when she has a flat tire.

With the measure of confidence afforded by #5 above, the guy with the deeply-rooted «field sense» we’re talking about here become the de facto leader in any situation when the chips are down.

A few such battle-tested sorties and genuine wisdom is naturally the imminent — and desired — result.

Note that all six «A» words are modified with strength. My purpose there is that I want you to clearly see the difference between what women view as strength versus the traditionally male understanding.

The musclehead guys aren’t necessarily the «strong» ones to most women out there. In fact, depending on their motivations they can appear quite to opposite. Can you see that distinct difference now? Ruminate for a moment upon the persona of the kind of guy who fulfills upon the 6 «As» above.

Can you see how the masculine traits combine with charecter to form an image that is intensely attractive precisely to high-character women?

To sum all of this up, being a great man who gets somewhere with great women is more defined by what women themselves want from a man rather than our own visions of speed, power, all-conquering wealth and world domination.

So many of us as guys throw up our hands and pronounce women as «impossible to understand». Meanwhile, women are on the other side of the fence puzzling over the «enigma» that is manhood. Truth is, we’re all human. And we’re a lot more alike than you think — especially with regard to what our character is composed of.

If you want women who will lie, cheat and finally cuckold you someday then deceptive «quick fixes» and pure «pickup» game may do the trick. If you want a great woman, the strategy is way different.

But still, understanding the ways we are different is the true secret to transforming exceptional manhood into exceptional ability to attract the MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) you want most. And it’s by no means impossible.

That «Chick Whispering» factor is one reason why VIRTUOSITY is inspiring men everywhere to raise the bar and demand a higher standard regarding the women in their lives. They can raise that standard because they deserve to. You see, VIRTUOSITY is all about becoming a greater man. And we’re not talking about some generalized, feel-good ’self-help’ concept here. VIRTUOSITY cuts to the chase and focuses directly on the exact kind of greatness that women are most attracted to.

Yeah, some guys are getting promotions at work and feeling more confident in all their social interactions — and crediting VIRTUOSITY.

Frank from Boston, whom you met on my blog, got into Sloan School of Management (at MIT) thanks to Ten-Plus, also. All of that is a natural by-product of being a better man. But what we’re really talking about here is taking you from frustrating Friday nights watching ESPN on the tube (again) to spending your time with the high quality women who are willingly filling your schedule.

I want you to rise above «settling» for someone you didn’t really choose. In doing so, I want better results for you than what over 95% of all guys out there deem «good enough». But you have to want it for yourself first. I can’t make you demand better women in your life. And if for some reason you think «only other guys» can enjoy that kind of success, I’ve got news for you. Good news.

So few men ever stop to «ask for directions» in life, do they? Simply taking the relatively short amount of time it will take you to understand women and harness your innate ability to attract them will launch you light-years ahead of those «other guys».

Women will notice, they’ll appreciate, and the next thing you’ll know you’ll be writing me testimonials like the many already available for your inspection on the VIRTUOSITY info page.

But you have to DO something. And VIRTUOSITY is the ultimate rocket fuel to give you the «launch» you need. Right now I’m bringing back everyone’s favorite VIRTUOSITY special. Between now and until my schedule fills up again (which is usually a few days, max), I’m going to take the standard 30 minute 1-on-1 consultation that comes with VIRTUOSITY and make it a full hour. You can make that two half-hour sessions if you like, should you prefer to get the targeted answers to your own situation you want, test them out and come back again for some fine-tuning.

This is all above and beyond the seventy hours (and counting) of highly specialized audio and video programs at your fingertips designed to address and overcome any conceivable issue standing between you and resounding success with the highest echelon of women on Earth.

Online Dating? The complete Online Dating Domination is rolled into VIRTUOSITY also. So if you have been still sitting on the fence about VIRTUOSITY, now is the time while the added benefit of getting on my personal calendar for a full hour is available to you. If you haven’t checked, an hour of coaching from me is usually almost the same price as the entire VIRTUOSITY program, including the 35% off coupon I’m throwing in.

Use «ManUp35» as your coupon code, and even take three full months to pay for it… all the while getting started right now.

Here’s the place to order!

Okay guys, this is going to be the last time you’ll see this particular promo for a while since we’ve got a lot coming up here in the near future. So by all means jump on it.

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Be Good,
Scot McKay

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If you have trouble believing that, go to a bar, find an attractive group of women, and sit back and watch other men approach women. Pay close attention to the womens reactions as they notice the men coming in for the approach. Is it good, or is it bad?

(By the way, there is a hint there, because the reaction is always good or bad — it’s almost never indifferent)

Ouch… talk about a harsh situation. The women act as the judge, jury, and executioner, and you haven’t even gotten a chance to say anything yet! Doesn’t really seem fair, does it? After all, how much can they really tell about you without talking to you?

The truth is that there may be a lot that they can’t tell about you, but the one thing they really care about is written all over your face. And that one thing is confidence.

Not only can women spot it from across the room, they have this uncanny sixth sense about it. They can practically smell it, and when one of them senses it, she unconsciously and immediately communicates it to all of the other women.

I sometimes call this ’girl code’ and I demonstrate how this works in my Physical Confidence program.

By the way, I should mention that this mechanism women have for detecting confidence also works for detecting a lack of confidence. It works both ways, and this makes sense if you think about it. Women want to detect a confident guy, because they are hot for him.

On the other hand, women want to detect a guy who lacks confidence, because he has the potential to be creepy if he hits on them, or even to turn into a stalker if he somehow gets her number of finds out where she lives or works.

(This may sound harsh, but virtually all good looking women have had a stalker at some point in their lives, and they are almost always guys who lack confidence with women)

So…

When they see a new guy they instantly and unconsciously sense his confidence, or his lack of confidence.

Like I said, this happens before they meet you or get a chance to talk to you. It’s a lot like how us guys instantly and unconsciously put women into the ’Hot’ or ’Not’ category when we first meet them. And just like with our own hot or not assessment, I’m sorry to say there is no ’middle ground’ rating here.

From one moment to the next you either have physical confidence, or you don’t.

The good news is that when you can radiate confidence, you stand out to women and can actually become an object of their desire.

Let me give you an example.

Let me tell you about The Kid.

I saw ’the kid’ when I was at the gym a few years ago. Now, when I go to the gym, I’m all about efficiency and multi-tasking. I mean, why just go workout my body when I can workout my banter and flirting and rapport too, and get some great dates in the process? I have to say, it’s rare for me to see anyone else «multi-tasking» too.

But then I saw The Kid. He was maybe 19 or 20 — an OK-looking kid. Kinda skinny, a little on the short side. He was wearing some baggy shorts, a green t-shirt, and a beat-up baseball cap. Nothing special about how he looked, or what he was wearing. Except for one thing: he was wearing the slylest-sh*t-eating grin on his face.

While everyone else in the gym was busy sweating and grunting this kid was just relaxing, leaning against the wall next to the water fountain while a cute, cute, cute blonde in a sports bra and yoga pants kept leaning in, touching his arm, and then leaning back to laugh and play with her hair. She couldn’t stop talking to him, and I swear, he didn’t say a single word.

The whole time, The Kid just leaned back, shot her that grin, and occasionally shrugged his shoulders and arched his eyebrows. It was as if his body was saying to her

«I know you want me, and I kinda like watching you work for it. Keep it up, and maybe you’ve got a shot with me, cutie.»

He wasn’t talking, but he was telling her everything that she needed to know about him.

You hear about some people having the gift of stillness, or some physical grace. It’s the kind of thing you can see in athletes, or dancers, or actors. They are usually the ones who can stay calm and confident under pressure.

I know the idea of talking to this cutie in broad daylight is the kind of pressure that some guys want no part of. I even remember long ago before I learned the real secrets of attraction how nervous I would have been. But The Kid didn’t flinch. It was like watching a great poker player bid up the pot and never show a single sign of nerves.

The truth is you can have all the clever lines and craft your words perfectly. You can dress the part and go to the hippest places with the hippest people. But no matter what you do, the girl is always going to be watching you like a hawk to see if you show any sign of nerves. She is not going to listen to your words. She is going to listen to your body.

How are you standing? Do you shift from foot to foot? Are you smiling? Do you look relaxed? What about your arms and hands? Do you know what to do with
them, or are they shaking, or just flailing about when you talk?

The Kid had his moves together. He knew that sometimes it’s what you don’t do that really matters. He wasn’t just acting cool. He was feeling it, showing it, and making it easy for her to see what kind of guy he really was. And I just know that he learned all of this from someone else who really knew what he was doing.

No one is just born confident and charming and knowing just how to use his body to get girls to notice. We all learn all the time from the people around us. We model the people we see.

Unfortunately, if your childhood was anything like mine, you spent your formative years surrounded by guys who were decidedly not confident. If so, then you have to train yourself to be confident. It sounds hard, or maybe even impossible, but the truth is confidence is a physical trait, and like any physical skill, it can be learned.

See, I didn’t always look cool and confident. I learned from the best, the real naturals, just how to stand, walk, talk, and use my body to communicate with women

on the intimate, physical level that they really understand. It’s not a secret anymore, and it’s not something you have to be born with. You can learn this, just like The Kid did.

Now you can spend 10 years like I did trying to unlock the secrets, or you can save a lot of time and a whole lot of frustration, and learn it all at once with my new Physical Confidence Take-Home Training Program. It’s all up to you… do you want it? If so, then move with confidence!

Go make some girls smile!

Lance Mason

P.S. In case you were wondering if all this stuff about physical confidence is really that important, listen to what a woman has to say about it.

«If you can’t read what I’m telling you with my body, then we can’t really talk about anything. Women don’t really ever say what they mean, they say it with their bodies.» — Shiva, PickUp 101 SuperGirl

Learn the language today!

P.P.S. If you want some hands on training on your physical confidence, then you’ll want to check out our live training programs where we can work with you one-on-one on the issues that are holding you back with women. Check out our Art of Attraction program to learn the core skills of body language, opening, and banter in a bar setting.

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Yet, men with a clear vision of what they want — be it a girlfriend, many girlfriends, greater ability to socialize and engage members of the opposite sex, greater comfort in social situations — are usually successful at pushing themselves enough to reach the object of their desires. On the other hand, men with unclear and undefined objectives tend to quit their efforts to improve before those efforts ever really take off.

Before you decide to begin this journey into improving your luck with women, or even if you’ve been at it for a while, it’s important that you take a little time to know your path. You’re going to be putting a lot of time and effort and emotion into walking that path. To get the kind of long term dedication you need to truly be successful, you have to know what you want, and want it bad enough.

First things first… what got you interested in improving your skills with women in the beginning? Most men never bother to do what you are doing. They say,

«I’m fine where I am… I don’t need to get any better,»

despite the fact that they aren’t even close to being happy with their love lives. So what got you visited this blog?

If you’re like most men, it’s because you are dissatisfied with what you’re getting from your current relations with women and you want to take things up a notch. Maybe you want more action. Maybe you want to date higher quality girls. Maybe you are just dipping your toes into the dating pool, or have been out of it for a long time.

Each of these reasons is perfectly good as a starting point. Once you get beyond the starting point, if you want to really stay the course and achieve great success — whatever that means to you — you are going to need more than that.

Throughout life, most of us have a habit of trying new things because we are vaguely interested or think it would be cool to be good at that, then lose interest and motivation after a little while of trying our hand at it and end up abandoning it altogether. The reason why we move on rather than stick with it comes from a lack of investment — we fail to see what continued effort will accomplish, so we give up the ghost, so to speak.

Getting good with women is important. It is, perhaps, the most life-altering thing you can do for yourself. In order to truly get great with girls, you will make yourself into a better man than you ever envisioned you could be before you began the journey. It’s maybe the biggest possible motivation to improve. When you don’t have the kind of high quality girl that you know would make you happy, it creates an immense amount of drive to do what you need to do — to get her.

Knowing Your Path. Every man should answer these questions:

«Why do I want to get better with women?»

Do you have a deep love and passion for feminine beauty and elegance and you want more in your life? Are you looking at it pragmatically, knowing you’ll need loyal, stable woman by your side to reach your goals? Are you looking for deep fulfillment and immense connection with one perfect, amazing girl out there?

«What am I looking for in a woman?»

Crucial to keeping you focused. Is your ideal woman… traditional? Modern? Bubbling with high energy, or very calm and sophisticated? Do you want a girl who likes to go out all the time and party, or a girl to stay in and relax and watch a movie with? Draw her up in your mind, your ideal woman. The more detail, the better.

«How bad do I want this?»

Are you willing to do what it takes to get the results you want?

«Once I get what I want right now… then what?»

Hard to know the future, but what happens after you get what you want? Just a bit of thought into your new triumphs and successes goes a long way into getting the next stepping stone.

The most successful men the world all know their path. They know to their core what their mission is and what they want to accomplish. This is true in business, the social world, politics, art, almost everything.

The men who achieve incredible success are the ones who know, for certain, what they want. The 20 minutes it might take to spend thinking about this will save you hours of your life and bring you weeks and months closer to your goals.

Chase Amante

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Psychologists have a name for this, given us by that early Adam. It’s the forbidden fruit complex, and almost everyone has it to one degree or another. Women have a name for this too. It’s called playing hard-to-get.

Now, some significant time later, there was another Adam. The poor guy didn’t really know what he was doing with women, and he rarely had successful dates. Finally, through blind luck, he found himself in a relationship. Overnight the world changed — ladies smiled at him, some chatted him up — in general, he became this much more attractive man. He became the forbidden fruit.

Only it’s much more complex than that. Most of the women didn’t know he was dating someone else. Part of it perhaps was he was happy and confident, but he’d been happy and confident alone before, without this change coming. What was going on?

The forbidden fruit is the obvious and easy little trick we can watch humanity fall for. But there is an opposite corollary; we don’t want what we can have. Theories for this abound. Some people think it’s because our unconscious mind is triggered to think ourselves better than those who are desperate to be with us. Some people just find it boring — where’s the thrill? The chase? The get-to-know-you game?

Maybe it smacks of self-consciousness and a lack of confidence — why do you need me so much? What’s wrong with you?

Maybe it’s the insult of skin-deep lust. Hey, some women enjoy one-nighters as much as the next guy, but outside of the porn industry, few women want to be viewed as just a body. And if you want it so bad in such a short amount of time, well, you don’t truly know her so we know what you really want.

Maybe it makes no logical sense at all, and it’s useless to analyze.

What we can do, though, is recognize it for the pattern it is, and learn from it. Just as you were turned off by that nerdy girl in high school who had the crush on you, attractive women are turned off by drooling dorks. But now we’ve got a problem. If women don’t like men who obviously like them, and we only want to be with women we like, who don’t like us ’cause we like like them… this quickly turns into a Wonder Years nightmare scenario of hopelessness.

This paradox is probably the cause of something like 95% of the world’s loneliness. It’s a pity our emotional brain — the part of the mind that is responsible for attraction — is such a mess. But that’s the way it is.

I guess we should all get used to it and prepare for a life of marriage to someone we settle for, not someone we want. Right?

Understand this is the way it usually happens. It’s not the way it has to happen.

We’ve said before that attractive women assume as a matter of course that all men want them. It might not always be true — maybe not every bum sitting outside the library with an upside down hat in front of them wants your quarter — but it’s true enough that it’s a useful rule in her daily life. She knows how to deal with men when she knows what they want. So what do you need to do?

Nothing.

You don’t need to tell her how much you want her. And — more importantly, since most people don’t open with «I want you» — you cannot show her. Really, this is the definition of cool. You may think you’re playing it cool and not telegraphing your intentions, but guess what — if the intentions are there, you probably are.

There are literally thousands of physical clues that set off a woman’s radar. You lean in too far or approach too close, you fidget with buttons, you laugh about things that aren’t funny, you awkwardly get in position for a hand-hold. And about 2000 more.

If you were a yogini you might be able to approach a woman with her attractiveness front and center in your brain and control all the little tics that give you away as a bundle of nervous sexual energy. Of course, if you were a yogini, you probably wouldn’t be interested in this, but that’s another story.

No, there is a much easier way to deal with this, to eliminate all the signs that say «I want you.» The simple answer is relax. The longer answer is don’t try. Pretend

she’s your sister. Pretend she’s an episode in Grand Theft Auto. Pretend she’s a practice conversation for some imaginary future.

Whatever you don’t think about going back to your place with her. Really, you don’t need to pretend — you can simply make the conversation practice. With every woman. From now to forever.

You just can’t show a girl your cards early on. It’s death to attraction. It transmits all the wrong things. Sure, you might get away with it now and again, but not usually, and never with extremely attractive women in high demand. And until you realize that, you should treat all women as practice with that bit of knowledge. Because it’s never going anywhere otherwise.

Once you do realize it, you’ll see that you just need to do what you’ve been doing, treating a lady as a practice conversation with no aim. Like a cat, if you try and pet her, you’ll never catch up to her. But act chill around cats — even ignore them — and you’ll have them crawling all over you.

This is the way of life. It is one of the most important concepts you’ll ever learn when it comes to attraction and dating. Act with ulterior motives and she’ll know, guaranteed, and you’ve lost all hope with her.

Act with no expectations and it’s a fair bet she’ll see a bit of the forbidden fruit in you.

This is what people mean when they say to just be yourself. If you can simply enjoy being you and living your life around women without chasing them, it works. It says you are an interesting confident guy who might enjoy being with a particular woman, but you don’t need that woman. Unlike modifying your behavior around

her, which smacks of insecurity and weakness.

So do what you need to do to eliminate every yearning in your interactions with attractive women? Convince yourself you’re too busy for her anyway. Or — better yet — too good for her. Or only talk to women within areas that have easy access to cold showers.

Whatever you need to do to get yourself in the right frame of mind, do it. Remember, she’s just practice. In fact, if you tell her that when you first start chatting — something like «I’m practicing talking with attractive women so I can become more comfortable around them.» — it actually can work very well. Go out and practice practicing.

This is a simple concept, really, but hard to put into, ahem, practice. You’ll probably hold your head well for a bit before a situation turns promising and you think you’re in, and the magic ends. You lose it — just for a second — and you may never recover.

Of course, just standing around not wanting women isn’t enough. You need to know how to go up to them, talk to them, trigger attraction in them, and eventually seal the deal. I spent years figuring the necessary steps and body language out, and I’ve put it all into my newest course, Seduction Science’s Get The Girlfriend.

Until next time.

Your Friend,
Derek

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This week I want to talk about one of my favorite topics. I want to talk about the fact that Dating isn’t a «fair» game, and what to do about it…

First off, I want to mention that life isn’t fair. In case you haven’t noticed, almost nothing is fair. Fairness is an idea that people have created. I think we probably created the concept to torture ourselves, in fact.

Here are a few ways that life isn’t «fair», as the concept relates to women and dating:

1. Some men are taller, and some are shorter. Women tend to prefer taller men. How unfair.
2. A very small portion of the women that are alive are as perfect and beautiful as the women in Playboy and other magazines, and therefore it’s impossible for every man to have a woman that is this beautiful. How unfair.
3. Many men go their entire lives without ever having sex. How unfair.
4. Some men have sex with hundreds or even thousands of women in their lives. How unfair.
5. Some men know the secrets of creating that magical emotion called attraction inside of women even though they aren’t rich, handsome, tall, etc. and wind up having their choice of beautiful young women. How unfair.

The point I’m trying to make is that life isn’t fair! Dating isn’t fair, either.

Sometimes a woman will respond positively to you, then the next day she’ll act strange. Sometimes a specific technique will work for you, and sometimes it won’t. Sometimes you’ll feel great and confident inside, and sometimes you won’t.

Now, most people don’t like the idea that life (and dating) aren’t fair. They get upset when things don’t go their way, place too much meaning on things that happen to them and responses they get from women, and generally act like life should be different. Of course, this is crazy. The more that I realized this fact… that life just isn’t fair… the more that I realized another profound truth: it’s great news!

If life were «fair», then you wouldn’t be able to do anything to change your personal success. You’d get what everyone else was getting. But, the fact is that you can change your personal success in any area you want (including dating).

And the best part of this good news is that you can not only get better and better, but you can actually turn the tables around in your favor. You can improve so much that you are actually at an advantage when it comes to women and dating.

So, if the idea that «life isn’t fair» is such great news, then why aren’t more people thinking of it this way?

I personally think that most people aren’t willing to get up off of their couch, put the remote down, and actually invest the time and effort required to become great at something. So, I’d like you to do something right now.

Take a moment, and make the decision and commitment to yourself that you’re going to take action in the areas of your life that you want to improve, and you’re going to do what it takes to stay on track until you get the results that you’re looking for.

Can you make that commitment to yourself? Can you floow through on that commitment?

The most important decision I made in terms of my dating success was the fateful night that I decided that I was going to get this part of my life handled… no matter what. Have you made this decision yet? If not, then make it right now.

Bottom line:

Dating isn’t fair… and that’s great news.

When you turn the tables in your favor, you can create success that most men will only dream about. Really.

By the way… Another problem is that a lot of people don’t know where to start. They don’t know how to get on the right track and where to learn things that actually work.

When I first decided that I had to learn how to meet and attract women for myself, I spent probably a year or two «wandering around» trying to find out what worked. I ran in a lot of circles trying things that sounded like good ideas… but wound up being B.S.

Then, once I finally figured out some of the ideas, techniques and skills it was going to take to really become great at this, it took awhile to really learn the skills and practice them to the point where I could use them and have predictable success with them.

Why am I telling you this? Because I’d like to save you some of the time, effort, expense and hassle that I put into figuring out all of my secrets… and I’d like to help you swing the odds in your favor when it comes to women.

I’d like you to take advantage of the fact that I’ve spent literally thousands of hours learning as much as I possibly could about how to meet and date attractive women, and I’ve spent thousands more organizing this information and putting it together in a way that you can pick up and use immediately to get better results with women.

If you want a detailed, complete education… from top to bottom, start to finish, then I recommend my online eBook «Double Your Dating». It’s full of all of my best ideas and techniques. Inside you’ll find all of my best techniques for overcoming fear, approaching women, starting conversations with women, and taking things to a «physical» level. You won’t find more great dating ideas anywhere, period.

And if you haven’t already downloaded your copy, then you need to get your ass in gear and do that right now. You can download it immediately and be reading it within a few minutes.

My question for you is:

Are you going to take charge of this area of your life or are you going to sit back like most other people who never wind up getting what they want in life?

I’ll talk to you again in a couple of days.

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• How To Chat With Women Online

Think about it:

• The women you see are usually alone
• They haven’t been hit on by 10 losers before you walked up
• There is almost zero chance of a guy who is better with women than you are coming up and stealing her away
• Conversation is much easier, no noise and no interruptions
• Etc, etc, etc!

I love it.

But perhaps my favorite thing about meeting women out and about is that if you know what you are doing, you can often turn the first conversation into a date… right then and there!

I just did an amazing interview with a guy who specializes in meeting women during the day… and especially at the mall. I mention this because frankly, the amount of information and techniques this guy shared for meeting women at the mall is almost scary!

It wouldn’t surprise me if the security guards at his local spot had his picture up with a warning about him stealing all of the women. Seriously though… this guy has met literally dozens of women at the mall throughout the years. He has it down to a science.

It’s not uncommon for him to go to the mall and leave with 3 or 4 phone numbers… or for him to leave with an attractive woman! His technique for turning conversations into instant «dates» on the spot is truly awesome. But he didn’t stop at that. Here are just a few of the other killer techniques he shared:

• A way to get a woman to drop her «shield» when you approach her that works even better on really hot women
• 5 classic ways to approach a woman that work in nearly every daytime situation!
• What you must do differently when approaching a woman who is with friends vs. by herself
• A way to meet a woman that gets her to call you later that same day to hang out!
• How to meet women in Victoria’s Secret and other «women’s» stores
• The big mistake men make when giving a woman a compliment that guarantees it will do the opposite of what they want
• How to talk about non-interesting things in a way that creates attraction (Use this to make any conversation exciting, even if she is giving you nothing to work with)
• Word-for-word approaches you can steal and use as «training wheels» while you are learning to create your own on the fly
• A special technique to use in the first 3 minutes of meeting a woman that will have her literally calling her friends to brag about the hot guy she has met (You gotta hear this one and use it to
  believe it, it is damn smooth)
• A big conversation mistake guys make that instantly gets a woman to write you off as an «average» guy that isn’t worth getting excited over
• The difference between making a «good» first impression with a woman and a lasting first impression (My friend will show you an easy way to do this that works 90% of the time)
• An exercise that trains your mind and body to be able to come up with ways to approach a woman «in the moment» when you see her
• The absolute best place to take a woman on a second date
• And much, much more…

What I like best about his system is that pretty much any guy with half a brain can use it and get similar results.

But don’t take my word for it. You really need to learn these techniques and try them out for yourself. I’m going to be releasing this interview as this month’s edition of my, «Interviews With Dating Gurus» monthly CD audio program.

If you’re already subscribed, you’ll be receiving it soon. If you’re not… well then… you need to sign up immediately. This interview is «going to press» this Friday morning… so you need to get on board by this thursday at Midnight if you want to get your hands on it. When you sign up, I’m also going to send you a Starter Kit with not one, but two awesome double length interviews to get you started.

I’m going to send these to you on me… just to say thanks for trying the program out. But remember… you have to be on board by this Thursday at Midnight to get ’em.

Oh… and one more thing… If you get these 3 interviews out there and you don’t like them, I want you to keep them, on me. That’s right. I don’t want them back. They are my gift to you for trying this program out.

Am I crazy to make an offer like this? Well, maybe. But the truth is that I just know something you don’t know…

I know that when you get these interviews out there… after listening to just the first track on the first CD you are going to be hooked. I won’t be able to buy them back from you for any reasonable amount of money… because you are going to love what you hear.

Think I’m kidding? Try me out. I’ll send them to you at my risk. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. I truly want to help you to become more successful with women and dating… and there is a very good chance that these interviews contain the key you are looking for.

Sign by the link below, and give them a try right now. You won’t be disappointed. Here’s the link.

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,
David D.

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She was the perfect girl to get this secret from. What are the caliente chicas really after?

«Yeah, not what you are supposed to look for. I mean, really, what gets you a little hot and bothered?»

She looked down at the floor, then back up at me, and smiled.

— «You know what I really look for? A normal guy. A normal guy… with nice shoes.»
— «That’s it?
— «You have any idea how hard that is to find? If I could just find that, I would be the envy of every girl in the world. Yep. That’s the top of the heap right there.»

Normal guy with nice shoes. Huh. You’d really think it would be more detailed than that, or maybe like the guy would have to have a chiseled six-pack, or drink a certain light beer, or drive the Batmobile. But normal guy? Nice shoes? That’s it? Anyone can do that, right?

Well, yes and no. See, when it comes to getting babes, lots of guys think it’s really hard. The truth is, as men know, that getting girls is either easy, or next-to-impossible. If you know the things that women look for, it’s easy. But if you don’t, you can work and work and work, but you’ll never get the choice with women you want.

See, girls live in a different world than we do. It’s nice there… it looks pretty, and smells like flowers and bath salts. Among these finer things that make up the world of a hotie, fashion is at the top of the list.

Women use fashion to establish and maintain the social order. And the more status a woman has, the more critical the correct fashion is.

A hotie needs a guy who looks right. When she looks at you, she immediately knows how she will feel going places with you and showing you off to her friends. If you don’t look like you can dress the way she wants, the way that fits her life, she can’t take a chance on you.

She needs to know that you are the kind of guy who dates girls like her. That’s how she knows you will be appropriate to her. She wants someone who matches. Why? Because then you will understand her. Girls do not want to waste time explaining to men what’s important. No one wants a fixer-upper. They want a house that’s already really nice and comfy and clean, and they can move right in and start showing it off to their friends.

Make sense right?

There’s one other little secret about shoes that no one else knows, but I’ll tell you, because, you know, I like you and want you to do well.

She looks to see how clean your shoes are to figure out how clean you are. Shoes are basically the clothing analog to good grooming. Just like your body, shoes need to be maintained to look good.

It takes a bit of care and patience to keep good shoes looking great, and that says a lot about how you take care of yourself… and… you guessed it. How well you take care of others in your life as well.

She’s thinking about what it would be like to sleep with you pretty much from the start. But she’s also thinking «will it be fun and crazy and sexy, or will it be gross and slovenly and uncomfortable?» Guess which one she’s gonna pick if you’re wearing beat-up, smelly old sneakers?

So what to do? If you don’t know fashion, start asking. You don’t have to be Project Runway-level expert, but you can’t make mistakes. Every guy makes them. I used to. And that’s why I put out my Dress To Impress Program and actually taped the process of giving 5 guys a fashion make-over. I took all my years of experience and put it into this DVD set, so any man could watch and finally understand what his style has been telling women all these years.

If you don’t know what your style says now, you need to figure it out.

After all, K. is still out there looking for that normal guy with sweet zapatos. And you know the first thing she’s looking at, and it’s not your bank account.

Get your style on and go meet some women!

Your friend,
Lance Mason

P.S.: You, mi amigo, are losing women every single day because of your clothes, your hair, and your look. Your clothes can get you laid, or get in the way. Right now, you are losing girls to guys like me who learned how to dress. Get fixed up now with my Dressed for Success Program and never lose out again!

P.P.S.: While you’re at it, get a boost of Physical Confidence and learn how to approach fearlessly under any circumstances. Both of these products come with a special bonus interview with Brad P. supplies limited.

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What is a «frame» or «frames»?

L.A. Tripp:

The simplest explanation is, it’s the extension of your inner core that the world sees. It’s just a small part of your inner core. It’s what you use to filter the world through. You let those in that you want in, keep those out that you want out. In that regards, it’s like a picture frame. You create your own borders.

Zip:

In the community, «frame» is the term used to describe your own personal bubble of experience that other people perceive as your aura. (I call that the «outer frame.») You should be having a party in your frame, and VIP’s should line up to get in.

What are some good ways to develop a super strong frame when you cannot or don’t have the time to go out sarging on a regular basis?

Zip:

Develop your inner game, inner frame, and core. This can be done every day, in every interaction you have. It can also be done on your own as you reflect on your past interactions and experiences. Here’s an excerpt from my «Great Frame Crash Theorem»:

The inner core is the evolutionary grain augmented by your experiences and environmental stimul. It’s basically «who you are… on the inside.» It’s not all of your neurosis and behavioral idiosyncrasies… it’s deeper than that. It’s that inner beacon that gets blipped out a bit while you’re experiencing real intimacy with another human being. The first step to getting your inner game back is rewiring everything that connects to that inner core. Once you’ve identified your inner core, you have to flip the attraction switches on yourself. You have to be attracted to your inner core in order for anyone else to be attracted to it.

Now, on to the frames. Your inner frame surrounds your core, and your outer frame can grow from your own personal space to grab other people into it. The inner frame can’t be an iron box; it certainly shouldn’t be tissue. Your inner frame should be a semi-permeable membrane, allowing certain things in and certain things out.

The «stronger» your frame, the more choice experiences and emotions will be allowed to trickle in while superficial and transient shit will be blocked out. Only with a strong and functional inner core will the inner frame be able to properly function.

All of this is work you can do without «going sarging.» All of this solitary work strengthens your frame, from the inside out.

L.A. Tripp:

Well, sarging has nothing to do with building a strong frame. You should have a strong frame anyway, with or without sarging. You need the strong frame before you sarge, so that the frame will be in place for the sarging. Got family? There’s one way to build up a strong frame. Don’t let them walk all over you. Got friends that like to be critical? There’s another way to build a strong frame. Practice putting your foot down with people. Practice standing up for yourself. And not backing down at their resistance to you doing that.

How do you calibrate your frame to better coexist within a given set? Should you?

For example, sometimes if you are too cocky or alpha, you may intimidate the girls in the set, to the point where they either think you’re

• out of their league (because you are simultaneously giving them the cold shoulder to show disinterest at the beginning), or
• a total asshole.

I ask because I’ve seen all the talk about developing a super strong frame and nothing about making it adaptable to specific situations. Of course, by making your frame more flexible you run into a higher risk of getting AMOG’d, and furthermore if you change your attitude too much you might come off incongruent.

Your thoughts?

L.A. Tripp:

Ever heard of micro-calibration? Yeah, this is part of it. Instant adjustments from second to second. All that means is that you are on your toes. Just a fancy way of saying that. Here’s the thing: You want to be friendly with the guys, and as soon as they try to AMOG you, you instantaneously increase your frame and overtake theirs. Think of it this way. You are letting them into your frame to begin with, so if they try to blow you away, simply show them where your frame really is. Let them know they don’t have a chance, you were just allowing them to participate. Until that point, they are allowed to hang around and have fun with you.

Same way with the girls. You should be allowing them to join in your world anyway. So, you let them into your frame, be nice to them, etc. Let them know that they are safe in your frame. You’re not showing you want to get into their pants, but that it is safe for them to be in your frame, because you want a new friend to hang with. If they get out of hand, you give them a glimpse of where your frame really is. And, if it’s a girl that you are interested in, and you don’t want to be too nice to her and end up in the friend zone, you can tease her, while still keeping your frame to a smaller level, until she either gets out of hand, or she demonstrates to you that her frame is bigger than the average girl.

Then you increase the size of your frame on the spot to give her an idea of where yours really is.

Zip:

Agreed. The outer frame is the first thing someone else will notice about you. It’s reflected in your body language, your confidence, and your presence. It’s your own bubble that you walk around in. It’s also your reality in real-time, in the world, existing. If you’re living life, truly being present within each moment, your outer frame is augmented by environmental determinists. There is a time and a place for everything. This is absolutely true for how you invite people into your frame.

Calibrate, calibrate, calibrate.

A lot of times, guys hear the term «frame» have an epiphany, and strengthen it. The problem is, they don’t realize that «strong» frame is an «adaptable» frame. The Constitution of the United States of America is such a brilliant piece of codification because it is wisely augmentable. Just like a healthy outer frame.

When your frame gets broken, either through a bad break up or some traumatic personal experience, what are the first steps you need to take to rebuild it? How do you do this without becoming scarred or jaded by the event?

Zip:

You have to locate what exactly broke your frame. Then, you have to locate what part of your frame was chipped in such a way that the whole thing collapsed. It’s about reflection, learning from experience, building a stronger reinforcement, and reconstructing your frame.

Like I’ve said before, your inner frame has to be a semi-permeable membrane. You have to «give a shit» while «not giving a fuck.» By «giving a shit,» I mean you have to let quality opinions help shape you and affect you in a positively constructive way. By «not giving a fuck,» I mean you have to let flippant opinions, both positive and negative, be deflected away from your inner core. Don’t let them affect you.

By consistently letting yourself be a part of a living world, you constantly allow experiences to positively affect you. Existential crisis, or an event so traumatizing it breaks you, is a vital part of the human experience. Dissect what went wrong and how it affected you, rebuild your core values, reconstruct a wiser semi-permeable membrane to deflect stupid crap away from you while letting quality experiences in, and you’re on your way to being superman.

L.A. Tripp:

You will be scarred in some manner by the event, but that’s a good thing. It’s just something to put into the back of your mind, as a mental note. Something to draw lessons from as you grow from it. To rebuild your frame, you have to build from your core. Especially when something traumatic happens, you have to go back to your core anyway. You start there, with who you really are, then you build on that. When you realize that the traumatic event doesn’t change who you are at your core, it’s much easier to deal with what happened to shake or shatter your frame. From that point, you start putting your frame back together. You start realizing that most things you may have worried about before really aren’t a big deal, so they roll off of you. Hence, your frame gets stronger.

Do you need to know NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) to have or «control» the frame?

Zip:

In my opinion, no. That goes for if you’re talking about «controlling» your frame or «controlling» another person’s frame. A helpful tool in learning how to control your frame is a form of NLP called self-actualization. I learned about this while studying Hypnotica’s work. Self-actualization is defined by the theorist Kurt Goldstein as «realizing all of one’s potentialities». Some of the most famous and successful people practice this visualization:

Imagine yourself, in your current environment, wherever you are. Take a second to find the outline of where you are in that environment; delineate the space you are taking up as a 3-D model.

In your mind, step out of it. Now, visualize a peak experience. What is the highest potential experience you could possibly have in a given environment? Now, step in and make it happen.

Though it is an excellent way of working on frame, it is not the only way. As far as «controlling» another person’s frame… NLP can be used but with caution. I suggest reading some material from Speed Seduction to experiment with this. I prefer to either invite people into my frame or to let our two frames interact playfully and with meaning.

L.A. Tripp:

Nope. Sure don’t. I don’t know hardly a lick of or about NLP and I have no problem with controlling my frame. They are in fact completely separate of each, although NLP may be able to help you with your frame, but you don’t need NLP to have or control your frame in the first place.

What are good indicators that you are holding the frame?

L.A. Tripp:

Are people following your lead? Are they hanging on your words? Interested in what you say? There you go.

Zip:

Simple. Who’s the host of the party? The person running the show, catalyzing everyone else’s experience in the set (or even in the venue) is the one controlling the frame. However, if you’re talking about «holding» your frame… I say be cautious: A strong frame is malleable, not fixed. Holding implies gripping and fixing something to one spot. That just comes across as pure Alpha and bullheaded.

Do you have to be constantly speaking to be in control of the frame?

Zip:

Absolutely not. Here is where body language and social dynamics come into play. As long as the interaction is still metaphorically pointed at you, you don’t have to be running your mouth.

L.A. Tripp

No. But when you do speak, people pay attention.

What are some ways to strengthen your frame?

L.A. Tripp

Realizing that things that you worry about aren’t anything to worry about. That’s one way. Letting stuff roll off your back. Understanding that you are a desirable person and that others want to get to know you. That’s another way.

Zip:

Find out your weak spots… did something get to you that shouldn’t have? Where did it hurt? What aspect of your inner core did it affect? Ask questions about little hiccups in your experience (we all have them) and strengthen as you go. Think about it like a pro-athlete. Find the weak links and bring them up to speed.

Is it possible for your frame to be too strong?

Zip:

It’s possible for your frame to be too «fixed.» Stationary existence has no place in a kinetic world.

L.A. Tripp:

Yes. At times. That’s where micro-calibration comes in. On the spot adjustments, or in other words, being on your toes.

What does it mean when someone says my frame is too strong?

L.A. Tripp:

Most likely you are coming across as an asshole, or just very overbearing because your mindset about something is so strong.

Zip:

It means you’re coming off like a dick. Period.

What are some common mistakes that will cause one to lose their frame?

L.A. Tripp:

Becoming overbearing because you are overcompensating. Becoming too needy or clingy because you are insecure with yourself. Becoming too nice because you are afraid of losing something or someone.

Zip:

If you become so encompassed in holding your frame in a fixed way, it will make people want to get away from you. If you give of a needy aura that blows your own frame by asking acceptance and admittance into other people’s frames, potential mates will want to get away from you.

I’ve heard there are different layers to my frame what are they?

Zip:

The frame-breakdown is something that is pretty particular to my own opinion. Not a lot of people break frame down this way. Think about a cell, and the core is the nucleus. Your core is your inner personality. Moving outwards from the core is your inner frame, which is a semi-permeable membrane that lets things either augment your core or it deflects harmful opinions or experiences from getting to you. Your outer frame is your experience that you project to the world. It can expand to include others or contract to exclude the unworthy.

L.A. Tripp:

Not so much different layers to your frame, but you can expand or shrink your frame as needed. However, you could consider an inner and outer frame. The outer is what the world sees. The inner is what those close to you see.

How long does it take to rebuild my frame to the way I want it?

Zip:

I’m going to get existential on you. It depends on the person. It depends on the day. It depends on the experience. However, think about this: your frame is different every day because you are a different person every day. I’m not saying that you’re not you. I’m saying that your experiences should augment you every second into becoming a greater person. That’s not an answer, but you’ll know when you feel comfortable in your own skin and can share it with others.

Also consider that even the strongest frame will crash over time. That’s life. It’s a positive thing because you get the chance to self-reflect and rebuild a better you. Why would you ever want to stop growing? Now, I’m not getting nihilistic about this because each time you rebuild your frame stronger than the last frame, it gets easier and easier to recover from existential crisis.

L.A. Tripp:

That depends entirely on each person. And, it depends on how strong you want your frame. Also, how strong your frame is to begin with. Each of these factors are different for each person. It could take a day, or a week, or a month, or whatever length of time you personally need.

And now a question from the mailbag which is topical — for the special V-day.

Hello Tripp and Zip,

I am currently a high school senior, and although I have very easy-going friendships with many girls in my school, primarily Juniors and Seniors, I am not able to take it into an intimate, physical relationship (I must point out that I live in the Dominican Republic and therefore am able to go to clubs but people are not as open as in US or UK).

This is partly because I fear being rejected by girls that I know and perhaps ruin our friendship (however, I am not the kid who girls tell all the stories, I have flirtatious relationships with most girls I know). I was just wondering if you could help me out for Valentine Day by telling me if I should ask her in a date (which I find somewhat awkward) or simply coordinate to meet with her in a bar. Hope to hear from you soon.

L.A. Tripp:

First of all, the girls sense that you are afraid of their rejection. Not a good place to start. Second, you have to be willing to kino, and you say that you are already flirtatious, so the kino is a natural extension of that. And, that’s the first step of taking any relationship physical.

Now, easy going friendships, and flirtatious relationships are also not the same thing. So, which is it that you have with these girls? If they don’t tell you all their stories, I’m wondering if you fit into either of those categories. But, it would more likely be the friend zone than a flirtatious relationship with this in mind.

You have to erase your fear of them. They are human, just like you. They have the same desires as you. The same needs as you. Put them on the same level as you, because they actually are.

Zip:

Dude, Valentine’s Day is so tricky. It’s a lot of pressure to put your self under, especially if it’s a first date. However, I ended up in a long term awesome relationship from a Valentine’s Day first date. If you make it casual and fun, you can get the girl to chill with you. Hell, why not even make it an «Anti-Valentine’s Day» celebration for the two of you to just run around and do very non-Valentine’s stuff. That could be really interesting and totally new for a girl.

Now, gaming people you already know or are involved in a social circle with is tricky. You may risk losing the friendship, but that’s only if you’ve gotten to a certain level with the girl. Also, there are ways to end things with a girl so that you’re even better friends than before, trust me. If you have flirtatious relationships with the girls you know, take it up a notch. Escalate
but keep it casual; it’s a tricky balance.

Who are L. A. Trip and Zip?

They are both head moderators of one of the most popular PUA Forums on the Internet.

Every week they dip into their mailbag and answer questions like below:

• «What do I say to women after approaching them?»
• «This girl told me we are just friends, will I always be in the friend zone?»
• «I find it difficult to approach women, how do I get over approach anxiety?»
• «I don’t like bars, where else can I meet women?»
• «I get girls’ numbers but they never return my calls, what can I do about it?»

You can subscribe to their free newsletter.

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• The Essence Of Being Cool

This is all too common for guys who are just learning pickup. The good news is, it’s only a stage in the learning curve. In a minute, I’ll tell you the secret that will prevent this from happening, and you’ll find it makes it easy to transition to rapport as well.

But first, let’s take a look at what’s going on that causes this to happen, it’s important.

Now, if you have been paying attention, you know I teach about how girl-attraction really works, you need to be a cool guy. Thing is, the so called ’naturals’ learned how to be a cool guy, a guy who is good with women, at a fairly young age. They had success with women early on, and each success gave them more confidence as they grew up, till it became a ’natural’ part of their behavior.

Stick with me, I’m going somewhere with this.

If you are not one of those men who is good with women, then early in life you likely experienced failures with women. Each failure reinforced that you were not good with women. You got to a point where it became a part of your internal programming that you were not a cool guy. That these other ’alpha’ men get the women and you didn’t (at least not the hoties you are attracted to). The key word here is that you internalized it.

You see, our bodies know when we make an attempt to be cooler than we know we are. That’s the source of the fear and anxiety you get when you approach women. It’s a very real fear. Anyone that tells you it’s all in your mind is full of crap!

The reason that fear is there is because historically if you tried to move above your place in the pecking order, you would get beat up or killed.

Watch the Discovery channel next time they have a special on the great apes, and you’ll see this in action.

Our bodies are programmed to protect us, and if you attempt to move out of your social status, to be a cooler guy and have sex with the women normally only the alpha guy has sex with… You experience a very real feeling of fear. This is hard wired into your brain.

Now I’m not telling you this to scare you or discourage you. In our modern society, you can change your social status with no threat to your safety. You just have to realize why the fear is there, and accept it as part of the learning process. In fact, when you feel this fear it’s a sign you are on the right path to being a cooler guy. Use this feeling as your guide as you perfect your skills.

So, what has this got to do with a woman getting angry at you?

Well a woman has her own genetic program running. Her program is to constantly be looking for that one guy she is supposed to have sex with. She’s looking for signals from each man around her, that he is that guy. This is where things get fun and interesting. Because you are now learning how to give off those signals.

My definition of a cool guy, is a man who just by the way he is being, triggers her hard wired circuits that say to her…

«Hey, I’m that guy you are supposed to sleeep with»

When she responds to your signals… that my friend is attraction! And I promise you, if you are practicing what I teach you, there are women who are attracted to

you daily that you are not even aware of. We see this all the time in workshops.

But here’s the rub, and the reason why women will get very upset with a guy who is just learning pickup…

Men starting down the path to becoming a cool guy, do it in small increments. The first 10 seconds, the first minute, the first 3 minutes, first 10 minutes… you get the picture.

So what happens is, when a guy knows how to make a kick ass first impression and is solid on opening, the woman’s wiring says «It’s that guy I’m supposed to have sex with» and it’s on! But then new guy sinks back into his normal way of being (some people call this running out of material, but that implies you can continue to ’fool’ her just by having things to say)

At this point the woman will sense something is wrong. It will be very weird for her, because in the regular world men are either «that guy» or they are not. It does not happen for her, that a man is «that guy» in a powerful way, and then suddenly he isn’t anymore.

This never happened in the world until guys like you started learning pickup skills.

This will cause her to get angry, and feel deceived, because she wanted you to be that guy, and she is bummed because she was attracted to you. Fact is, this is a good thing when it happens to you, it means you are making huge progress. You just don’t want to have it continue to happen, because that means you are stuck.

So, what’s the key step to prevent this from happening? The secret is called «Vibing».

If you have seen the hidden camera video of my festival pickup, you saw me ’vibing’ with the girl and her friends. The key to vibing is showing that you mix well with the group… the woman and her friends. That you are a leader but in a cool and laid back way, and that you are fun to be with. If you have friends you hang out with, you know how to vibe.

Vibing is powerful because unlike opening lines and stories, it’s authentic… you can’t fake it. That’s why it is so important for you to have your own style when meeting women. Every single one of my instructors has his own unique style. There are no ’clones’ at PickUp 101 for a very good reason.

The best way for you to get good at vibing is to practice with your friends. Take control and be the most fun guy in the conversation. Use the tools I’ve taught you. When you get good, then practice at parties with people you sort of know. Then do it with people you don’t know.

Before long, it will be a natural part of what you do. Congratulations you are on your way to being a cool guy!

Now, go meet some women.

Your Friend,
Lance Mason

P.S.: If you really want to dig into how Vibing works, you can learn it from the absolute masters: Zan, J-Dog, Danial Johnson, Eric Monse, Decker, Grant Adams and others.

P.P.S.: Can’t make it to San Francisco? I go into details on how to vibe naturally and confidently in my Surefire Attraction Secrets program. Never again wonder what to say to a women!

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• Shut Up… And Get The Girl!
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