Publicity Stunt Watchdog

Tales from the looney bin aka The worst job on Earth

2008-07-15T00:11:00.002-04:00

Can you imagine what it's like being the dude that has to push Michael Jackson around in a wheelchair ... for kicks and giggles. He'd be better off using his skillset in a real mental health facility and not at Michael Jacksons Neverland Ranch (aka The Crazy Factory).

OK. It's July 15, 2008. We can all openly admit that Michael Jackson is lunatic. It's official.

Da Brat you have a call on Line 1

2008-05-06T23:29:00.005-04:00

Someone call Da Brat. Mariah need more friends. Her mind is slipping with no meds or friends in sight.

According to Fox News, Mariah really did lose her mind (again) and has become "hemmed up" in a marriage situation with Nick Canon aka Nick Jr. See ... sigh ... I thought her album was selling well? She's looking fabulous. She's like the biggest selling female artist since ... well ... ever. Live performances are marginally improved. I mean ... I'm really not understanding why she needed to marry a former Nick Jr. star for publicity. Not now. Not yet. And Not HIM! This is so not a publicity stunt worthy for a diva like Mariah. There's no rhyme or reason to her craziness. Then again ... this is Mariah Carey otherwise known as the near 40 year old cougar that still collects butterflies and rainbows. I can't think of many reasons for this stunt, given that she's already released her new album and it's doing fairly well ... but I tried:

1. She needed to find a way ... any way ... to compete with that other cougar on the charts, Madonna.

2. She's greedy. Her album didn't sell 3million copies the first week, so the marketing campaign needed a boost.

3. She needed to align herself with a media friendly character after she flashed out on her background singer during that hot mess of a performance on Good Morning America.

4. She became jealous of the Bey-Z wedding.

5. Her bio clock is ticking and ... Nick Jr. is nice and ... well ... she's ain't getting no younger, might as well do this.

And didn't Nick Jr. recently end his publicity stunt of an engagement to Selita Eubanks? It's not working Nick. Go back to Christina Milian ... now y'all can use each other.

Mariah, this is so not effective and ill timed. She really needed to enlist a bigger star for this stunt. Perhaps she should divorce Nick and marry P. Diddy. Now that would be news.

Da Brat please put the blunt down and handle this.

Bye Remy

2008-03-13T21:27:00.004-04:00

A witness testified that he saw Remy Ma approach shooting victim, Mekeda Barnes Joseph, with a .45 caliber handgun. The witness stated that he saw Remy exit her vehicle with the handgun, cock the gun and then jumped into Joseph's car. He heard a "pop" moments later, then he saw Remy leaving the car.

Remy can face up to 25 years in prison if convicted. Her defense attorney has labeled the incident as a tragic accident. He states that the gun went off accidentally while Remy and Mekeda struggled over the gun.

I don't know about you, but that makes total sense to me. If a chick jumps in my car with a gun, there will be a struggle and someone will probably get shot. I blame the person carrying the gun.

Hopefully she won't have to share a cell with Foxy. That would be cruel and unusual. She can go ahead and start deweaving now ... because where she's going she doesn't want to look too fabulous (if that's even possible).

* pours some likka for Remy's freedom papers *

Source: USA Today

Clearly Woody didn't get the memo

2008-03-06T21:13:00.004-05:00

OK, clearly someone forgot to tell Woody that the purpose for Dru Hill's interview with 92Q FM was to announce the reunion of the original group. Nokio, Jazz, Woody, and Sisqo showed up to 92Q FM to announce their reunion. They let Woody speak during the brief interview (first mistake) and Woody starts rambling about something kinda "crazy", as usual ... it's been a while, but I remember him being a lil' "special". Then, Woody reveals that he was happy to see the guys and to reunite with the guys .... ... in spirit ... Because he was called by God and he feels that the 'grupe' doesn't need him, so he can continue to do what God called him to 'dew', which is preach the gospel.

Then, it turns into a scene from BET College Hill without the stillettos and blood. Sisqo storms out of the room hollering "you could've told us this yesterday!". Then Nokio decides to get gully with some (pretend) fight moves. He even had people holding him back (gently). Then, we pan to Sisqo in the parking lot throwing a bitch fit in his Range Rover. The "scene" ends with someone screaming something at Sisqo truck as it burns rubber out of the parking lot ... it sounded like they said "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVING!. CTFU! Let me find out Sisqo is driving with an expired license.

Within 10 full minutes, Dru Hill re-united, then re-broke up. Hilarity. I blame them ... They should know that they have to spell things out a little differently for Woody.

Snoop gives parenting advice to JLo

2008-02-28T01:27:00.005-05:00

The world is upside down when Snoop is giving parenting advice. Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez recently gave birth to twins. Snoops advice?

“One baby at a time. She’s going to have a good time with it. Babies are
beautiful, especially having two at one time. Ever since I was a youngster, I was a hustler. I sold newspapers, candy, I was always out of the house trying to make money, so I commend any kid that tries to go get something in life, whether he’s trying to wash cars or pump gas or help ladies to their cars with their groceries. Any sort of hustle is what I push on a kid because it shows a sign that you want to be something in life.”

OK, first it's too late for "one baby at a time" ... she had twins. And secondly, what da hell does Snoop know about the special beauty of having twins? Thirdly, he know damned well Jenny-Lo-Lo's kids won't be hustling newspapers & candy, their bedrooms already cost more than most folks houses.

Grade: D+ to OK! Magazine for asking Snoop to give parenting advice.

Source: OK! Magazine

Tracey to Johnny "We know the truth"

2008-02-28T00:50:00.005-05:00

On February 25, Johnny Gill conducted an interview with the Doug Banks Show to discuss his sexuality and the rumors surrounding his relationship with Eddie Murphy. Apparently Johnny is hurt that y'all think he is gay. * rolls eyes * He says that he is not gay, he's hurt by the accusations and that he would take a lie detector test to prove that he's not gay. You know what ... He should've left it at "I'm not gay" because the lie detector test is making him look extra gay right now.

I digress ... Johnny also spoke about the rumored drama with Eddie Murphy's mother Lillian and Tracey Edmonds-almost-Murphy during the 'spirtual wedding'. Johny told the Doug Banks show that:

"One of Tracey's guests said some things that were inappropriate that triggered
everything with the mom, and that's how it all started"

I'm wondering what the guest said ... probably something like "why is Johnny Gill wailing in the back pew?"

Well, Tracey is pissed. She couldn't call into the Banks show due to a gag order that she signed with Eddie Murphy ... interesting ... wonder how much ransom she received to sign said gag order ... I digress ... her people have released a statement on her behalf. She responds:

"I was very shocked and disappointed to hear of Johnny Gill's false spin on the
chain of events surrounding our wedding. His outrageous lies were clearly a very
desperate and pathetic attempt to clean up his reputation at my expense. I would
appreciate it if Mr. Gill would refrain from continuing to spread false gossip
and lies to the public, and allow everyone involved to move on with their lives.
We all know the real truth."

I'm kinda mad that she's still referring to this as a wedding. I'm thinking that the real truth is that Johnny Gill showed his ass at this 'spritual ceremony' because after all these years ... why does he need to come out and discuss his sexuality NOW? I know why ... because he showed his entire ass at the pretend-wedding and he knows that one of the guests is subject to talk about it.

Johnny sings the Wedding song:

Source: EurWeb

Rihanna Finds Her Calling in Life

2008-02-25T23:24:00.004-05:00

Rihanna got her legs insured for a million dollars. They caught her in the pic above doing what she does best…. standing….and not singing. At least she’s good at something. She does have style. Bow Wow should give his purse to her, she’d look better with it. Rihanna also has her own line of umbrellas to be sold at Macy’s. She milking the hell out of that song….

Bow Wow Murse Swag

2008-02-25T22:55:00.007-05:00

Don’t be confused….. this is NOT gangsta. What the hell is Bow Wow doing with a pocketbook/makeup bag? My purse not even that big! What is he carrying in it?? Lip gloss? Foundation? Eye Liner? He needs to have a long talk with his stylist….. Rappers are not suppose to carry purses!

Map Porn

2008-02-20T15:37:00.003-05:00

Anyone notice how John King seems more fascinated with this "map" than he does with the news? In fact, everyone on CNN seems to be addicted to map porn.

Map porn = you temporarily enjoy it, then later realize that you just wasted an hour doing nothing. Rinse. Repeat.

Symptoms of an addiction:

Frequent preoccupation with the behavior or with activity that is preparatory to the behavior (CHECKMARK; clearly everyone is preoccupied and fascinated with this map)

Frequent engaging in the behavior to a greater extent or over a longer period than intended (CHECKMARK; most of the time is spent playing with the map and not providing usual information)

A great deal of time spent in activities necessary for the behavior, engaging in the behavior, or recovering from its effects (CHECKMARK; most of the time is spent troubleshooting the map, wondering why it's not working, wondering when it will work again, wondering when you'll get to see it again, trying to continually impress others with the map etc.)

Frequent engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic or social obligations (CHECKMARK; they should be telling us the damned news)

Important social, occupational, or recreational activities given up or reduced because of the behavior (CHECKMARK; well there is an election to cover)

Map porn. SMH.

Amy, Ray Ray and Joe

2008-02-20T15:10:00.002-05:00

So everyone is wondering who da hell is Ray Ray & Joe; the two that Amy have been with for ten long years. I'm thinking Ray Ray = that narcotic and Joe = that alcohol. You know how all the good drugs have names. Blue Magic, Black Tops, Ray Ray, Joe ...

Shout out to Blake Incarcerated.

Récompense Amy Winehouse Grammy 2008
Uploaded by wonderful-life1989

Johnny Won!

2008-01-16T21:22:00.000-05:00

Rumor is that after two full weeks of island marriage, Eddie Murphy and Tracy Edmond-Murphy (not quite) have decided to NOT have a legal marriage ceremony. Eddie's publicist released the following statement on his behalf:

“After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further. While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends.”

Translation: Johnny Gill put a stop to that shit.

Source: PerezHilton.com

Raz B says "sike"

2007-12-26T23:57:00.000-05:00

I'm officially confused. Now Raz B is stating that the child molestation allegations against Chris "Daddy Long" Strokes are not true and that "those tapes" were leaked without his authority. OK, either Raz B is not taking his meds or there's some serious incentive (read: $$$) for him to STFU.

Madness. And it's not even 2008 yet.

B. Scott on Chris Stokes

2007-12-26T23:39:00.000-05:00

Source: Lovebscott.com

Reality Show Publicity Stunt #12: Be a survivor

2007-12-26T21:17:00.000-05:00

Reality Show Publicity Stunt #12: Be a survivor

This seems to be a favorite comeback strategy for wannabe's auditioning for the latest reality show craze and for D-list celebs trying to make a comeback. The "I'm a survivor" strategy simply generates buzz for your show by marketing your disabilities, emotional issues, past embarassments or painful life experiences. Your audience will either sympathize with you and root for your "comeback" or tune in for the train wreck effect. Either way, some folks are desperate enough to try it and since it's been done to death, you now have to put your most intimate issues on blast. Can't be on television complaining about garden variety, average joe issues like a club foot or depression. For the strategy to work, you have to tackle some serious ish and you have to do it publicly. Based on the number of reality shows in the works, it's obvious many people will do anything necessary for publicity; even if it means pimping a painful past experience for monetary gain.

Everyone is buzzing about former B2K member Raz B's latest viral video accusing Chris Stokes of molesting him, his brother and essentially everyone else in their clique. This accusation is serious and if true would imply that Chris Stoke should share a jail cell with R. Kelly. Also, if the accusations are true it has serious implications for Marques Houston and Omarion, who remain in business with Chris Stokes.

I don't discount the accusations make by former B2K member, Raz B. However, I do question his timing. He has timed this grand revelation perfectly, as preliminary footage of his new reality show "Life After B2K" has leaked. His mother also manages to sneak in a comment about his reality show during Part 2 of the accusation footage. Also, during Part 2 of the footage, it becomes clear that this video accusation was made after his mother was denied access to one of Chris' events. Ironically, that footage is also on YouTube.

Part 1: B2K Rape/Orgy Allegation

Part 2: B2K Rape/Orgy Allegation

Video of Raz B and his mother being denied entry into Chris Stokes event

Part 1: Life after B2K (reality show promo)

Part 2: Life after B2K (reality show promo)

Crackhead Wisdom ... for the holidays

2007-12-21T11:59:00.000-05:00

DMX says "you must always look for the good" ... then ... the rest is a mystery. I swear can't translate, but it seems like DMX is dropping some knowledge here. He's either channeling a cracked out Jamaican or he's channeling lil' man from Fantasy Island. Da plane! Da plane! I have no idea. Just say no people!

And if there are any good crackhead translators, please login and let me know what da hell is being said.

Source: World Star Hip Hop

If Vick's Dogs Could Rap ...

2007-12-21T11:56:00.000-05:00

DMX is channeling Michael Vick's dogs. Just say no to drugs people.

Stupidville USA

2007-12-20T16:47:00.000-05:00

TMZ spoke exclusively with JamieLynnCasey Spear'ses babydaddy's momma Joyce Aldridge and she stated the following:

"We are aware of the recent interview regarding her and being pregnant, and we
are in agreement with everything that was said by Jamie Lynn about the situation
... everything is fine."

Everything is fine? Um, your 19 year old inpregnated a 16 year old. Everything ain't fine.

Then, JamieLynnCasey's uncle, who is a pastor, weighed in on the issue regarding the potential for marriage for he couple and parents-to-be:

He stated "they don't need to make the same mistake twice"

Well, in my opinion, if they get married, it's not making the same mistake twice. It's an entirely different mistake.

Then, the principal at Casey's school is raising money for the school by selling off his yearbook pictures to the highest bidder. TMZ tried and clearly lost to UsWeeky (UsWeekly. They have the yearbook pic). SMH.

Source: TMZ

The world will end in 5, 4, 3, 2 ...

2007-12-19T16:10:00.000-05:00

Fat Man Scoop is a sex therapist now. MTV VJ Sway is featured with Scoop & Wifey on Scoop's Man & Wife TV show. As Forrest Gump would say ... and that's all I have to say about that. Enjoy. * goes to get right with God *

NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Source: A Hot Mess

Inside Bow & O's therapy sessions

2007-12-19T15:18:00.000-05:00

Bow Wow and Omarion and putting it all out there in their reality show Road to Platinum. There are a lot of "emotions" and "feelings" expressed ... it's like watching Keyshia, Neffe and Frankie's lil' therapy sessions minus the crack, prison, prostitution and abandonment stories.

Jesus be a flat tire

2007-12-19T15:06:00.000-05:00

A judge has issued a bench warning for R. Kelly because he did not appear to his court hearing in Chicago today. According to R. Kelly's folks, the no show is due to a tour bus delay in Utah. The judge has given R. Kelly until 9AM Thursday morning to appear or he's calling the "cops up".

If this is the only way to get R. Kelly into jail ... I'll take it.

Source: TMZ

Lynne Spears ... Dr. Phil's on Line 1

2007-12-18T20:36:00.000-05:00

According to PerezHilton.com Britney Spears' 16 year old sister, Jamie Lynn, is pregnant. Also, it's rumored that the babydaddy is JamieLynn's boyfriend ... some boy named Casey Aldridge. JamieLynn and Casey have apparently been dating for an ENTIRE year. We all know that a one year relationship at age 16 is equivalent to a 10 year marriage. Also, it's rumored that JamieLynnCasey are shacking up.

Lynne Spears is really doing a fine job with these girls. Break the cycle why don't cha?

Source: Perez Hilton

When can we admit that MJ is deranged?

2007-12-18T16:07:00.000-05:00

This is how Michael Jackson leaves the house these days. He has officially taken his disguise to the next level. There is no sane reason to leave this house this way ... especially if you're never admitting to getting plastic surgery.

I'm thinking that in Mike's mind he's in stealth mode with the bandages on the face. It's the bandages that allow him to disappear right before our very eyes. He's probably looking dead into the paparazzi's lens thinking "good thing I'm cloaked in bandages, now I can shop for my preschool-aged books in private ... I wish I would've thought of this one sooner."

I guess we're gonna wait until he "goes away from here" to speak freely about Mike's mental state.

* continues biting my tongue *

Beyonce, Michelle ... Don't Do It

2007-12-18T15:26:00.000-05:00

Rumor has it that Destiny's Child may be planning yet another reuinion. According to I'm Not Obsessed, Kelly Rowland is throwing hints about a DC reunion.

Source: I'm Not Obsessed
This current state of reunions has given us
ideas. Despite what people say we are all still really close. A couple of weeks
ago Beyonce did a show in Los Angeles and asked me and Michelle (Williams) to
join her on stage for Survivor. It was a real tear-jerker. The fans were crying
and going nuts. I’d definitely like us to do more stuff like that.”

Translation: Kelly Rowland's album isn't selling well and she can't find anything else to do. It's back to Plan A for her.

Kelly take a note from your former band mates and find something else to do. It's a wrap for Destiny's Child.

praying, please lawd let it be a wrap.

Michelle's Career Plans

Beyonce's Career Plans

Kelly's Career Plans

Amy Winehouse's hair-brained scheme

2007-12-18T14:46:00.000-05:00

I'm guessing that Amy Winehouse is really really really fiening to see her man ... by any means necessary. On December 12, it was reported that Amy was turned away from visiting her crackhead buddy/favorite drug dealer/husband Blake because she arrived late ... again (link). After she was turned away it was reported that:

Amy was visibly distraught at not being able to see Blake. A friend said:
"Amy was devastated that she wasn't let into jail.

Fast-forward to this (Tuesday) morning ... SkyNews is reporting that the world's most famous crackwife was was arrested "by appointment" at a police station in East London. I'm sure there's some crackhead logic involved in this jail meeting that Amy has scheduled. She probably figures that if she can get INTO jail, she can break Blake out. She's probably hiding a rope, a sawed off pipe and a plastic gun in her hair.

Paging Remy Ma ... Call your girlfriend

2007-12-17T13:07:00.000-05:00

Sigh ... Remy Ma, could you take a moment away from shooting at your friends and taking dirty about Lil' Kim to please call your ex-girlfriend. Be a grown woman about it and break up with her properly. Dag.

Also, the first person that can translate this video plea/love letter wins a prize.

Source: thatott.com