Many come to Dangast for the mud’s supposed health benefits. People slide around in the mud, coat themselves from head to toe or go mudflat hiking.

We applied the mud to Jan’s legs and Leo’s exzema, with mixed results: their skin got really soft and healed well, but they both felt a little ill the next day.

We shared a cute 2 bedroom vacation home with our friends, Michaela and Leif. The two boys had a great time. Everyday they could play with their “best friend”, usually at the beach or in the sandy driveway. Together they played in Michaela’s car (Leo’s idea), learned how to pee in the bushes, tried to fly a kite and graduated from hitting to teasing and name-calling each other.

The flat coast line made for great biking, particularly along the sheep covered dikes. Leo and Leif road in a waggon pulled by Jan’s bike. They shared cookies, squabbled over space and slept all the way home.

Leo especially liked our boat ride out to the lighthouse of Arngast. The lighthouse was built on a sandbank that buried the parish church of Arngast during the storm floods of the 12th and 16th centuries. Hearing the boat’s motor and watching the boat glide through the water fascinated Leo. He spoke about the boat and the lighthouse for many days.

We all enjoyed a walk through the “Neuenburger Urwald“, an uncultivated forest with many trees well over 400 years old. The 6 km hike was a challenge for the inexperienced walker Leif, but after his protest proved futile he completed the round with flying colors.

In Bremerhaven we visited the “Klimahaus Bremerhaven 8° Ost“, an exhibition which takes it’s visitors on a journey through the earth’s climate zones. The journey follows the 8th degree of longitude, begining and ending in Bremerhaven.  The 8th degree of longitude also passes through the Samoan Islands, which felt to us like beeing teleported to Hawai’i. Leo noticed this too when he saw the imitation of the pacific ocean and pointed out to us where the sun goes down in Hawai’i (as seem from Waikiki).

Of course fresh fish was the number one food, and it tasted best pan fried by Jan. I also enjoyed the fresh North Sea Shrimp or “Granat”. You can buy them straight off the boat, unpeeled for €7 per kilo. With the shells they are crunchy, have a slightly smokey aroma and go perfectly with the local brew called “Tide“.  Another great way to have Granat is with eggs on German black bread.

Dangast again? Sure!

More pictures of our vacation in Dangast.

Hours later I awoke and peered out the windows at a dull white winter world slowly coming to life. The market stands on the square shed warm, welcoming light. A few early shoppers scurried along and the occasional car was muffled by snow. I opened the window to feel what I saw. The still, snowy air smelled astonishingly right and it did, after all, feel good to be home.

It is now, all cozy and warm, tucked in safely under a low winter sky, that I dream of Hawaii, the things that we did and the sights that we saw. The lushious green forest, the bumpy road up, chickens and dogs and blue sky above. The view of the valley by day and by night. The twinkling of the ocean, the rolling of waves, long sandy beaches and small rocky shores.

I see Mom on the porch and feeding the chickens. Leo chasing the dogs and sitting in cars. Laptops at breakfast and Laptops after dinner, serious complaints and light conversation. I remember Sushiya Sushi, Mei Dim Sum, plenty of poky and excellent Thai. Tony’s good cooking, dinner at Wong’s, Ramen and Pho and our Shrimp Shaking day. The tea ceremony, the making of Mochi, some things relaxing and others more taxing … And everyone’s smiling, at least in my dreams, where I get to choose.

As I look out the window it’s snowing again, so I’m back to my bed with The Breath of a Wok and the inspirations brought home in my heart.

By-and-by I will be posting more pictures from Hawaii here.

Before Leo, my thoughts about these things where simpler, something along the lines of: your body and intelligence are mostly inherited while upbringing and socialization determine your personality. These assumptions are probably not wrong, but the idea of a baby born with a “clean slate” ready for us to fill, now just seems like wishful thinking.

Leo, a colicy and tense newborn, was never a relaxed infant (despite Baby Tui Na Chinese massage and other efforts). He was a doer from the start, hampered only by his own impatience. Ambition is still a hallmark of his everyday behavior, as well as fits of frustrated complaining when his goals are not easily fulfilled. He loves to interact with others and readily assumes a dominant role. When Leo stomps around the house, I am reminded of my own mother complaining that I stomp around like an elephant.

I am both proud and amazed to see so much of Jan and myself in Leo. I no longer believe that we can form his personality. We can only help and guide him to make the best of what he is.

These days scientists are even discovering genetic dispositions that have an effect on personality. Everyone, for example, has genes that are responsible for building “specialized modules” in their brain (for example, we all have a brain module that can recognize when we’re in a public setting), but individual gene variants trigger the brain’s response – introverted or extroverted – to this recognized scenario. These discoveries might lead us to think differently about why we are who we are.

The picture on the left was taken recently for Leo’s new biometric passport.

So who does Leo look like the most? Jan? Linnea? His aunt Ilka?
Or somebody else?

More pictures to help you decide.

We hope you will take part in Puddingtown Bears’ first online survey:

Leo tried again and again to capture Lina’s attention. In the end he suceeded with a water spitting contest on the terrace.

The kids like the piano and Jan’s fingerplay.

Much of life is about choosing who we spend our time with. Sometimes we are not aware of these choices or let other people make them for us. But which ever path you take, life is best spent in the company of people who value beeing with you.

See all the pictures of our visit to Bonn.

My parenting decisions have been intuition-based. I try to keep my eyes, ears, and mind open to Leo and let my heart guide my responses (or non-responses). My intention is to give Leo constant, unconditional love and support. For me this also means not leaving him alone until he is mature enough to feel secure without me. I believe that this will promote Leo’s long-term happiness, self-esteem and independence. In times of doubt, I felt encouraged by the promoters of attachment parenting and co-sleeping.

Then in January a new opportunity arose: Leo was invited to join the Hedwig Mäuse, a play group on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. The Hedwig Mäuse aim to prepare children for kindergarten by helping the children and their parents cope with their first separation. Would Leo stay in the play group without me?

Every child is different. Some children cling to their parents and need more time to adjust to a new environment. Others are more curious and quickly feel at home in new surroundings. Leo belongs to the later group. Almost immediately he was off playing and interacting with others.

During the first weeks, one by one, the parents of the other newcomers eased out of the group, but seemingly independent Leo would not let me slip out with them. When I disappeared he reacted hysterically. It became apparent to me that Leo strength and independence are derived from his secure attachment to me and I would not be able to leave until Leo was able to bond with his new caregivers and consciously say goodbye to me.

I worked with Leo to raise his awareness of the Hedwig Mäuse caregivers, Petra and Ulrike, by pointing them out to him over and over again and especially by saying goodbye to each of them individually. As Leo slowly established trust in Petra and Ulrike, he was able to turn to them more and more when problems or insecurities arose. Gradually, through respectful and responsive interaction, Leo was able to bond with his new caregivers and I was able to leave the room for longer and longer periods of “I’ll be right back”. Finally, I could see that it was time for me to make the next move and say goodbye to Leo.

The first day I said goodbye and left Leo cried, but not for very long. When I heard that his crying was sad, but no longer hysterical, I knew that things would be alright. The second time I said goodbye to Leo, I explained to him that I would go and he would stay here with Petra and Ulrike. Leo understood me and protested. I remained cheerful, but firm and didn’t drag out my departure. The third time I said goodbye to Leo, he gave me a kiss back and said goodbye too. I was so proud, I left the room in tears.

Ever since that day Leo said goodbye to me at the Hedwig Mäuse playgroup with an air of cheerful confidence. Others were even amazed by his big, happy goodbye smile. He never relapsed into any kind of clingy behavior. Even after the Easter break, when some of the older children renewed their efforts to hang on to their parents, Leo’s self assurance was unwavering. I will always be grateful for the love and dedication with which Petra and Ulrike supported Leo on his path to independence.

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Children love singing accompanied by fingerplay. The morning circle is part of the Hedwig Mäuse daily routine and it is beautiful to see how attentive the children are:

Ten O’clock is snack time:

Favorite activities:

The Hedwig Mäuse have been an important stepping stone in Leo’s learning to communicate and get along with others. Petra and Ulrike were very attentive and supportive to the children, always encouraging feelings of empathy and respect. During this half year Leo has learned not to hit other children or take their toys away (for the most part). He has found ways to engage other kids in mutually satisfying play and sometimes even practices sharing.

Mommy’s Hedwig Mäuse Song:

We’re going to the Hedwig Mäuse, Hedwig Mäuse, Hedwig Mäuse!
We’re going to the Hedwig Mäuse!
Who are we going to see there?
Who are we going to see there?
We’re going to see Ulrike and Petra and Leif,
Charlotte and Ove,
Lilly and Lynn,
Jana and Carla,
Louis, Johannes,
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiila
and Anastasia.

After the summer vacation Leo will start kindergarten. We will miss the Hedwig Mäuse.

See more Hedwig Mäuse pictures.

I am spending long afternoons at the playground and on the weekend Jan goes on extended walks with Leo around town. One of our favorite places to go these days is the “Heimat-Tierpark Olderdissen”. This local zoo is just a 20 minute walk from our place and has over 430 animals, 100 different species, most of them native to northern Europe.

On the Saturday before Easter we went to Olerdissen with Ilka.

It was a relaxing day for everyone. See more pictures taken at Olerdissen.

Leo has a lot to say these days. While most of his speech is unintelligible, sometimes even sounding like a foreign tongue, we have managed to decipher some of Leo’s current vocabulary. Popular words are: mama, papa, ilka (pronounced ka-ka), bye, tschüss, bus (pronounced busch), three (pronounced tee), mehr, bear, hallo, choo-choo, train (pronounced ain), spongebob (pronounced ponta), ball, nein, pee-pee, heiss, up and down.

Other things are communicated by imitating the sound they make, for example pig, car, dog, bird, horse, cow, sheep, duck, mouse, food processor, juicer and drink (a gulping sound which Leo employs when he is thirsty). Leo will even put two of these together, for example “mama” + “juicer sound” to let Jan know that Mommy made juice today.

Leo also still uses the baby signs for elephant, rain, loud, listen, finished and more or “I want that”. Below Leo is using his “more”-sign to ask Jan for some bread and giving his new bunny “Jimmy” something to drink.

See more Easter weekend pictures.

Leo had much fun watching the older kids play and tried very hard to be a part of everything.

More pictures of Jan’s celebration >>

So on this rainy Rosenmontag Leo got dressed up for his gym group with a home made hat and a makeshift costume. Although barely able to understand their costumes, all the toddlers were excited about “looking special”. What is Leo supposed to be?

See more Rosenmontag pictures.

On December 6th we celebrated “Nikolaus” (Saint Nicholas Day). In Germany it’s a festival  for kids. They get to put their shoes or boots (the bigger, the better) outside the door on the 5th, and at night St. Nikolaus fills them with little gifts.

Another tradition kept on this day is baking (or just eating) a “Stutenkerl“, which is a man made of yeast dough with a clay pipe. Here Leo is disassembling his Stutenkerl.

From Leo’s window we watched firemen use a crane to put up a large Christmas tree on the square in front of our house.

Leo’s aunt Ilka and great-aunt Anita paid us a visit. Dinner was chicken curry with rice.

Leo and Anita got along well. Leo’s initial shyness was quickly overcome by the attention Anita lavished upon him. He responded to her with open curiosity and his own blend of humorous interaction. It’s wonderful to take the back seat and watch Leo grow into relationships with the people around him.

Anita brought lot’s of stuff for Leo including a bunch of Lego that we all had fun with.

See more Nikolaus pictures.

We had a small celebration for Leo with Ilka, Thomas, Babsi, Stefan, our neighbor Andrea and her son Marlon, who is just one week younger than Leo.

Leo received some very nice gifts: a stuffed pig called “Pigglet”, a wooden Xylophone, a joker with bells, a yellow dump truck and a Duplo train. But in general he was more interested in the wrapping paper.

I made an egg, dairy and gluten free applesauce cake. Flax seed contains no gluten and turns out to be an amazingly good substitute for egg in a cake. Andrea liked the cake so much, she made it again a week later for Marlon. Here’s the recipe:

1 cup margarine (I use sunflower)
2 cups brown sugar (the sugar should be dark and flavorful, but you can use less)
2 cups applesauce
3 1/2 cups buckwheat flour
2 heaping Tbsp whole flax seed (replaces 2 eggs)
2 tsp baking soda
3 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt

Preheat the oven to 375°F. Grind the flax seed in a coffee mill until it becomes a fine meal. Mix the flax seed meal with 1/2 cup water in a small bowl. Let the mixture sit for at least two to three minutes to thicken it. Combine all the dry ingredients. Cream the margarine and sugar (I use a food processor). Add the applesauce. Add the flax seed mixture. Add the dry ingredients. Pour the batter into a 9×13 pan and bake for 35-40 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. After about 20 minutes I cover the cake with aluminum foil to prevent it from getting burned.

More pictures of Leo’s first Birthday Party.

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Leonards erster Geburtstagskuchen
(ohne Milchprodukte, ohne Eier, ohne Gluten)
Die gesunden Leinsamen ersetzen in diesem Rezept 2 Eier und machen den glutenfreien Teig klebrig.

225 g zum Backen geeignete Margarine
450 g Vollrohrzucker (z. B. Bio Mascobado von GEPA ist sehr aromatisch), es kann auch weniger Zucker verwendet werden
450 g Apfelmus
420 g Buchweizenmehl
2 Eßlöffel Leinsamen, ganzes Korn
2 Teelöffel (10 g) Baking Soda bzw. Natron
3 Teelöffel Zimt
1 Teelöffel Salz

Backofen auf 190°C vorheizen. Leinsamen in der elektrischen Kaffeemühle zu feinem Mehl mahlen, dann in einer kleinen Schale mit 120 ml Wasser verrühren und stehen lassen damit sich ein Schleim bildet. Buchweizenmehl mit Natron, Zimt und Salz gut vermischen. Margarine und Zucker in der Küchenmaschine oder mit einem Handrührer schaumig schlagen. Apfelmus kurz untermischen. Leinsamen-Schleim kurz untermischen. Mehl kurz untermischen. Den Teig in die vorbereitete Kuchenform (ca. 28 cm) füllen und 35-45 Min. backen. Der Kuchen ist fertig wenn am Stäbchen nichts kleben bleibt. Nach ungefähr 20 Min. Backzeit lege ich Alufolie über den Kuchen damit er von oben nicht verbrennt.