Puddz Tea Cups

Three Things I've Learned from Olympian Gabrielle Douglas

2012-08-02T17:00:00.002-07:00

Mary Lou Retton won the All-Around
Gold Medal in 1984 Olympics

Gymnastics is a very tough sport. I can remember being nine years old flipping in the living room and injuring myself. It's funny to me now because at the time, I thought that I was Mary Lou Retton determined to win a gold medal in the Olympics. But I forgot one thing: Mary Lou had trained for years and she was in a gym. Unfortunately, I was just getting started and in my living room. At that time, I wanted to be just like her, until I entered classes. Then I knew that Gymnastics would be a sport that I would watch from home or in the stands, nevertheless I grew to love it.

Domonique Dawes
in 1996 Atlanta Olympics

In 1996, another gymnast favorite came on the scene and received a gold medal. Her name is Domonique "Awesome Dawesome" Dawes and she was known for her swiftness and agility during her floor exercises. She showed the world and future Olympic gymnasts that it was ok to be different. She crossed cultural barriers and proved to the world that gymnastics could be a sport that African American women could excel in as well.

The 2012 London Olympics has brought to the forefront another gymnast who has won the hearts of people of all ages and races. Gold Medalist Gabby Douglas has proven to the world that Gymnastics is not a sport "for whites only"; it is a sport for those who are focused, disciplined and willing to make sacrifices. When Domonique Dawes performed, everything stopped in my living room. Similar to Domonique, Gabrielle "Gabby" Douglas has proven to the world that she is truly a champion Olympic gymnast. Although it is sixteen years later since Dominque Dawes won a gold, Gabby is often compared to Domonique because she too is known for her powerful floor exercises and height in flight during her uneven bar routines. In fact, her releases are so high that her coach Marta Karoyli nicknamed her "Flying Squirrel."

Here are three lessons that I learned while watching Gabrielle "Gabby" Douglas' interview on NBC.

Lesson #1 Be Confident.
       It impressed me to hear Gabby's response to the reporter when asked how she was able to focus and get through the competition. Gabby smiled and quoted her inspiration from scripture. She said, "I use scriptures about being confident." What a powerful statement at such a defining moment in her life. When the world was watching and listening to this Olympian, she was unafraid to say that she drew inspiration from scripture to get her through tough times. We should all take notice and do the same.The mark of a true champion is his or her ability to find confidence during adverse situations. It requires a focus on what is important and knowing that you are able and well prepared.

Lesson #2 Be Courageous.
       It's not an easy task to move away from your parents, sisters and friends to pursue your dream. Gabrielle believed that she could make it in the Olympics. In fact she said, "I want to make history." That is exactly what Gabby did. She made the sacrifice of moving to Iowa to improve her skills. That is something that we all must do.

        It takes courage to do something that has never been done before. Here's the bottom line, if Gabby can do it, you can do it too. Don't let the fear of failure keep you from trying. My mother once said, "how can you learn to walk, if you never take any steps?" I don't know what your dream is, but don't let fear hinder you. Be courageous. Face your fears, make the sacrifices and accomplish your goals.

Lesson #3 Keep Smiling.

I've said this many times, but it was great to hear Gabrielle Douglas, a 16 year-old Olympian, say this. Gabby mentioned that she needed to keep smiling to get through her upcoming competitions. She recognizes the beauty and strength of her smile and she is proud of it. There is beauty and strength in your smile also.

Often times, a smile can bring light into a dark situation. I work with many teens who are ashamed of their smiles. In fact, they don't enjoy smiling because they feel "goofy" or "awkward." But after every performance, Gabby's face radiates with her smile. She wears her confidence in her smile and you can too. No matter what the situation, don't lose your smile.

Today, Gabrielle Douglas has a lot to smile about. She is the first African American woman to win gold in the Women's Gymnastics All-Around competition. Congratulations Gabby on your two gold medals! You did it! You've given your parents, your team, your coaches, your entire generation and women all around the world inspiration to keep pursuing their dreams, to keep smiling, to be confident and to be courageous.

In Focus: Gabrielle Douglas

Sweet success to you!

LaShondra

Thank you Daddy!

2012-06-08T16:50:00.000-07:00

Today was the day that my coworker said farewell to her dad. I was ready to go show support and pay my respects, but I was asked not to attend. Now, my first reaction was utter disgust. I've never experienced being asked NOT to attend a spiritual event. Usually, I'm the one who gets the text or call about the services. Sometimes I'm even asked to emcee or participate on the program.

But this time was different. I couldn't spend time with the family of the bereaved, sign the book in person or sit with everyone else who would share precious memories of their loved one. Instead of offering my physical support, I was only allowed to sign my name on the card. I was definitely disappointed. It's amazing how things happen in life. One minute you're celebrated and the next you are forgotten. And in a matter of moments tragedy could strike and someone could be gone. But it has to be tough to have lost your father a few days before Father's Day. I have to admit, being asked not to come to the wake felt like someone took a dagger and dug it through my heart. I wanted to run away. I wanted to cry. I wanted to shake my fist and scream, "How dare you!!!" Then I stopped to think.

Am I angry because I was asked not to come or am I angry because I've been in that same place of pain? Was I feeling entitled, or lowly esteemed? At that moment, I think I felt a little bit of both. I can definitely relate to losing a parent. (It's been less than three years since my mom passed away.) But why was this so important to me anyway?

Within a few moments, I did what I normally do when I'm feeling mistreated. I called my dad. While trying to come up with a logical way to accept my lack of invitation, I turned to the protector of my household. He reminded me to see God in the situation. Dad told me not to feel bad about the way that I was treated and to still pray for that person and her family. He reminded me that I had done the right thing by trying to be respectful, but some people just need some space to grow. And I needed to allow them the grace that they needed to grow. He said that some things you go through because it helps to build character in you. Other things you endure because it helps to build character in someone else. With his loving comfort, he reminded me of what was right. That's what I needed. I will give my coworker the time and grace that she needs to grow. Thank you Daddy!

Then he led me into prayer. He didnt ask me if I needed to pray, he just started praying. I am grateful for a supportive and wise father who knows what to do in my time of need. He took me right to the one who could give me peace and cause me to find relief in the midst of my pain, my Heavenly Father. That's why I'm writing this blog. I've got to say thank you to my dad for being a spiritual man who is dependable and loving. In the midst of my hurt, he gave me a reason to hope. Despite my feelings of rejecton, he gave me inspiration. Then dad reminded me that life is not easy, but it's easier to handle with prayer and supporting loved ones. Thank you DADDY!!

To all of the dads (especially mine: Aaron Stephens), granddads (alive or deceased), GodFathers, brothers, uncles, coaches and men who volunteer to be surrogate dads, I salute you! Thank you for all that you do.

Happy Father's Day! Sweet success to you, LaShondra

If you care...hug me

2012-05-16T09:12:00.003-07:00

I wrote this blog May 16, 2012

The power of a hug fascinates me. Just yesterday I was thinking about the many times I felt down, but a hug consoled me. It's not everyday that you encounter situations that make you feel disgusted and defeated.

Each Sunday I interact with the youth of my church and it amazes me how one hug lifts their spirits. With all of the violence in the city and cycle of trauma that we live in, the need for human interaction is so real. Faith requires community.

A strong community is built with love and one's availability. It is critical to pay attention to our youth. We should engage in conversation with them as often as we can. How else can we help them to grow and mature into great citizens with strong moral consciences and care for one another? We must lead by example. We can't expect them to value their lives, if we don't let them know how valuable they are to us. I think that we have failed this generation by NOT making ourselves more available to them. It's time we make some changes.

Each day we are challenged to do our best and become our best. Yet sometimes, we fall short or we just miss the mark all of the way. Other times we face obstacles that make us wish we had the powers of Superman or WonderWoman. In essence we do. In a few seconds, a hug can lift the weight of frustration and pain of life off of someone's shoulders.

Parents, when was the last time you hugged your child?
I can recall the last time my dad hugged me. For about twenty seconds I felt like I was in a different place. It didn't matter to me that he couldn't solve my problems at the very moment, but it DID matter to me that he cared and that he was there.

Hugs keep our faces bright and our esteem high. The next time that you see your loved one having a bad day, ask them if they need a hug. Then take the time to extend your arms, bring that person in close and show them that they are loved.

Hugs and sweet success to you all!
LaShondra

Winter Fun

2011-01-21T15:38:00.000-08:00

So you want to have some winter fun? Then try this.

It was funny seeing the youth scramble around the ice skating rink with a painful joy. Their faces of terror switched to expressions of glee and triumph all within 30 minutes. Ice skating at the Navy Pier Winter Fest was a frigid blast.

At first, the lines were so long it seemed like we'd never get to the front of the line. Who would have thought that so many people would be interested in ice skating? I had no clue. I guess they knew something that we didn't, and I needed to find out for myself.

Who would have thought that standing on a single blade while maintaining your balance could be so much fun? Creating fun begins with your ability to try something new. And that's exactly what I did. I took my 8 year old Godchild ice skating and she had a ball. we both started out very apprehensive. But when it came time to get on the rink, we left those feelings at the entry gate.

We did it! We got on the ice rink and we skated. (Well, we put one foot in front of the other in an attempt to skate, as we held on to the side of the rink.) Eventually we let the rail go, but that didn't last too long. Well, at least we had fun. This year, my goal is to have more fun intentionally. I plan to do some things I've never thought that I could. Why not try doing the same? Parents, God parents and mentors, let's add fun to our aganda and then commit to our plans.

If nothing else, it will at least make us all smile.

Sweet success to you!
LaShondra

Coach's Cup: Live to Win

2010-07-16T04:35:00.000-07:00

"You don't have to practice to lose." Coach Aaron Stephens

My church picnic will be happening this weekend and people are assembling teams for the Volleyball and Softball tournaments. It's amazing how some sport activities can create a spirit of competition. I've heard that some teams will come to play thinking that they have "the competitive edge." It will be funny to see whether or not youthful agility will defeat skill and experience. Perhaps there will be a few individuals who are playing "just for the fun," and not for the trophy. But in most cases, the teams are playing to win.

To be honest with you, athletes play to win. I have never heard a MVP (Most Valuable Player) say that he or she expected to lose. As a matter of fact, when you think about it, if you were Berry Bonds or candace Parker, would you spend countless hours in a gym or on a field practicing and training to lose?

I know that I wouldn't. Maybe some people are so driven by their love for a sport that they don't secretly desire to win all of the time. But that's not me. Think about things this way, if you had a choice between playing on a team that had a proven record of winning, or a team that had lost every game, would you chose the latter? Maybe you would, however, I'm inclined to believe that everyone likes the feeling of winning.

This reminds me of a statement that I heard from my dad, Coach Aaron Stephens, when he was talking about his baseball team. He said, "You don't have to practice to lose." Does that make sense? At first, I was a little perplexed. But that statement rings with truth and can be applied to everyday life. Teams who don't practice usually are unsuccessful. So if you do take the time to practice, then you should be winning. The question is, why do we allow ourselves and our friends to settle for second best? Even the most studious person has at least one thing that they could improve in his or her life.

I started to think about winning more in my life and ministry and how the youth that I mentor could be more successful. I came to this conclusion. Everyday that I spend time trying to improve myself physically, mentally or spiritually, I am winning in this game of life and "playing to win."

I am moving closer to the time when preparation will meet opportunity; and I will gain success. Just like me, everyday that you take the time to prepare yourself for class, sport activities or spiritual growth, "playing to win also." Whenever you don't do these things, then you are defeating the purpose.

As for the teams who will show up tomorrow, they may have the intentions of just having a good time, but there is no "do-over" if their team doesn't win. In reality, there are no "do-overs" in life either, so we should live to win. That means, striving to become a better individual on a daily basis. And since you only have one life, you need to make it count.

Sweet success to you!
LaShondra

Pick Up Those Clothes

2010-07-14T05:47:00.000-07:00

My mom tried to train me at a young age to pick up things that I put in the wrong place. She hated seeing the clothes that she and dad worked so hard to provide for me on the floor, in the chair or thrown somewhere in my room. Often times she had to remind me to "pick up those clothes." It's funny how the movie Karate Kid echoed this same principle. "Dre", played by Jaden Smith, kept leaving his jacket on the floor. His mom with snarled and firm lips would say, "Dre, pick up that jacket!" Sometimes, we're just too busy or too lazy to break bad habits. "Dre" soon learned to stop leaving his clothes on the floor and so did I.

Today I am reminded of that wisdom and instruction as I write this blog. Although my place is not in disarray, I still need to "pick up those clothes." I did that this morning. For the first time in a year, I went to the gym prior to work. It was a challenge, but since I was already up early, I just got dressed and went to the Fitness Center. I picked up those workout clothes, slid on my athletic shoes, grabbed my water bottle and did what I needed to do. What a relief it was for me! For some reason, I thought that going to the gym in the morning would be draining and close to impossible. It wasn't.

So what's your excuse? Are you avoiding doing something because you'd rather not break a habit? Whatever the "clothes" symbolize for you-- go do it! Even if it's completing a new task, taking a trip, starting a new routine, or literally moving your clothes, whatever it is, "pick up those clothes" today.

Sweet success to you!
LaShondra

Simple Things

2010-07-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

I decided that in 2010 I'd have fun. I've been doing a lot of thinking about what really matters to me. It's true that if you allow them to, people will burden you with their weights and daily concerns. Before you know it, You're the one exhausted, worn out and stressed. It seems so simple sometimes. If I take the time to do the things that I enjoy, I would truly feel fulfilled. But the follow up question for me is: what do I really enjoy? Do you know what gives you pleasure?

Lately, my answer to that question has led me to the theater and the sanctuary. I've found that I like some pretty uncomplicated things. Listening to music and singing- I do it all day and everyday. But I knew that already. Even with my cd player broken, I have sat in the car and listened to songs on repeat with the windows down. Sounds lame? Well maybe a little, but when you think about it, a theater sound system and a free ticket to your favorite artists "repertoire" on demand is pretty neat. I would love to say that I'm traveling around the world and visiting my celebrity friends, but that's not my story yet. Besides, I've got better things to do like spend some quality time in prayer or studying theologians, philanthropists, journalists, comedians and TV writers. Now that's where my sanctuary is. I enjoy having the ability to articulate my opinions and persepctive, although I hate arguing. But most importantly, I love spending time with the Pudd'n Girls. Sometimes that's my sister and her friends, or the girls I mentor. Other times that's me and the fictitious characters that I write about. All in all, I enjoy being me.

Does that make me a nerd? Well, maybe a little. But it's the simple things in life that really matter to me.