Pulp And Circumstance.

Summer.

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Tue, 26 Jun 2012 16:11:00 +0000

I am currently at the airport in Washington DC, awaiting a flight to Chicago. My hyper-paranoia about missing the plane has brought me here exceptionally early, but it has also finally allowed me a minute to think and, more importantly, write.

I have recently started an internship at the University of Virginia. When I first told people about my internship in Charlottesville, everyone in libraries immediately asked if it had anything to do with the Rare Book School. It did not. That being said, thanks to my proximity to the Rare Book School, I think I will be able to learn a lot more about the world of book people: conservators, collectors and craftsmen. Virginia has proven to be an exciting place to work, and not just because of the University’s presidential controversy currently trending in the news. It’s a really great location, right in the Blue Ridge, with a really impressive history. As a more-or-less native Illinoisan, the state of Virginia is flooded with American history by comparison. We may be the land of Lincoln, but Virginia is the land of Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, pretty much everyone except Benjamin Franklin….

Needless to say, the collection reflects this rich history, and its been interesting just get a peak into it. Next Post: my work at UVa….?

Always Excited

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Fri, 04 May 2012 23:37:00 +0000

Paul Revere's Work Found in Brown's Library

I'm always excited when I see book conservation in the news. It, well, never happens, but here it is! Most of the time, people do not understand what I want to do, what my day consists of, etc. But this shows how fun and exciting the field really is.

Also, I am going to Buffalo. I guess that's important, too! :0)

the least likely of outcomes...

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 22:55:00 +0000

I have exciting news. But also overwhelming news. I have been accepted to two programs in conservation. Now, it is up to me to choose.

As I wrote in previous posts, I liked all of the programs. I would be happy attending any of them. I don't want to say no to anyone. I really did not expect this to be the outcome. I was told no one gets into more than one program and no one gets in on their first try....lies, apparently.

Either way, I will regret my choice but be very excited. I am ALMOST at the point of making my decision, I told myself I'd wait until Friday, so that those on the wait list would have to wait no longer. Needless to say, I am still settling into the idea of leaving my beloved Chicago, which is now clearly inevitable, but also really figuring out what I want from a program and from life...

A Brief Note

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 20:31:00 +0000

So, grad school decisions will be announced on Monday, April 16. There is a huge chance I will NOT be accepted this year. If this happens, I will keep chugging along and reapply next year.This is not a defeatest attitude, just a realistic one. All in all, my interview experiences were great, and I would be happy to be accepted into any of the programs. I also understand if I am not accepted into any, the competition is stiff. Congrats to those who are accepted. I wish you all the best!

My Third (Graduate School) Interview

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 21:02:00 +0000

Last, BUT NOT LEAST, I just came back from Buffalo and the Buffalo State Art Conservation Program, and it was quite an adventure. Unlike the other two programs, I had never visited Buffalo before, due to one major reason: I know no one anywhere near Buffalo. Well, I finally made it to Buffalo, for a very great reason, to interview at the program. I can honestly say I very much enjoyed Buffalo, or at least what I saw of it, which pretty much consisted of the conservation program at Buffalo State College and the surrounding neighborhood (Also the airport? But that never counts).

The interview itself was exactly as described on the website, a presentation of my conservation and art portfolio with questions. It was a conversation, and a friendly one. I was lucky to stay with a student-host who told me a bit about his experience in Buffalo. What he mentioned is something I think can be applied to the program, "it's friendly here."

The labs at Buffalo are currently being remodeled, so I was only able to see a portion of the facilities, and everything seemed great. Located on campus, the program is also directly across the street from the Albright Knox Gallery. Its surrounded by life, and seems to be buzzing with lively students and art enthusiasts. Because Buffalo used to be such a wealthy city, it has a lot of history, and the conservation program puts that to use, utilizing collections within the city as learning opportunities for the students.

The program itself is a community, of faculty and students, who work side by side together and support each other throughout the long hours in the labs. Professors are full time employees and work as mentors for the students lucky enough to be in the program. The program is intensive, you live your life in the labs, so inevitably you become close with your fellow conservators in training.

I had a really wonderful time in Buffalo, although I did not have time to get buffalo wings at the Anchor Bar. Ultimately, it's a great program and congrats to those who will be accepted. We shall see if I am lucky enough to be one of them.

My Second (Graduate School) Interview

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 01:20:00 +0000

I would like to begin by admitting I am behind. I have just returned from my THIRD interview, but have not talked about my second one, so first I will do that. Alright, that means this post is about NYU.

The New York University Conservation Center is a really wonderful program that offers a very different approach to graduate studies in conservation. Unlike the other two program, New York University's conservation program is actually a degree in Art History and a certificate program in Conservation, so it's essentially a dual degree. It has the same conservation core classes, and a BEAUTIFUL lab/building that is located in a historic home on the upper east side on Manhattan, but it also asks students to take a variety of Art History courses, at an even more incredible building down the street. It is also an additional year of study: three years of coursework with a fourth year internship (as opposed to a two year program with a third year internship)...so what does this all mean?

Well, it terms of Art History, you can't be anywhere better than New York City, obviously. The NYU program offers a lot of opportunities for students, with flexibility for students in terms of coursework and interests. You can do a lot with what the program provides you--its New York, the opportunities are endless, as are the bagels.

The students and staff at the program were incredibly helpful and honest about their experiences in the program and in the city. New York itself plays a lot into the program, conservators at area institutions help students, and students often work at local conservation labs to help make ends meet. It really allows someone to get fully entrenched in New York's conservation community while also receiving a great, well rounded education. And taking art history classes all the while not only informs your treatment, but is just plain fun.

The NYU program is really wonderful and offers a very different take on conservation training while maintaining all the traditional needs and courseload. It also happens to be in an amazing city with a wonderfully glamorous school. No big deal (very big deal). Ultimately, it's a great program and congrats to those who will be accepted. We shall see if I am lucky enough to be one of them.

My First (Graduate School) Interview

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 15:58:00 +0000

I woke up on the couch today to the smell of Sunday morning breakfast, coffee and grilled cheese sandwiches. Having collapsed in the living room after my flight, I have finally gotten back to Chicago, after a whirlwind tour of the east coast, with a very important stop in Wilmington, DE.

So, I interviewed at the Winterthur/University of Delaware conservation program last week. No big deal (it was a very big deal for me). I fear to tell too much, but I will reveal one thing, it is a really wonderful institution and considering that amount of fear and sleeplessness I suffered beforehand, I felt alright during/after the interview. My interview, well, we will see how that went. I felt alright, but I really don't want to jinx it, and its very competitive, and they only take ten people of the thirty they interview, and a thousand other things, so at this point, I will try as best as I can to NOT review and reassess every intimate detail of the hour long presentation/interview for the 9 members of the interview committee and continue on in conservation, working with my mentors and learning everything I can and trying to be the best pre-program conservation intern I can be and etc. etc. (and BREATHE) What I will talk about is the overall experience and vibe of the place.

First off...The Winterthur Program is beautiful, I believe I mentioned this when I visited on portfolio day, but it is located on amazing grounds, part of the Winterthur Estate, and this early in the spring, flowers were already blooming. It's really wonderful stuff. I was able to walk around a bit before my actual interview, and it calmed me down, the rolling hills and daffodils.

The people are really friendly. I was able to stay with a student, my host for the interview, who was then in charge of keeping me on time and at the right place, whenever I needed to go take an exam or test. So, ultimately, she was my personal guide and guru, and as a successful applicant, she gave me wonderful tips, that I have to say, really enabled me to relax and enjoy the experience.

The facilities are very nice. The instructors are extremely educated in their respective areas of expertise. Everyone there is passionate about conservation, something that's always inspirational to see.

Ultimately, the interview was intense, with a writing exam, a color blindness exam, a chemistry exam, a drawing exam and the interview itself. In many ways, this is a reflection of the program: they want to find the best students, and push those students to the limit. I mean this in the best way possible. The program is intensive, but ultimately, produces incredible conservators. Congrats to those who will be accepted. We shall see if I am lucky enough to be one of them.

Interviews

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 03:34:00 +0000

This Saturday was my sister's wedding---after an unbelievable lead up (accidental overdose, broken limbs, these are seperate guests! also everyone is OKAY! the overdose was a mistake of blood pressure pills with sleep ones...) it went wonderfully. But on top of that, and I bit more exciting for me, was that I was offered to interview at all three programs to which I applied (NYU, Winterthur and Buffalo)! I am nervous, and will be carefully putting together my portfolio and presentation in the next few weeks.

I am not expecting to be accepted, lots of people don't the first time, and with the increasing popularity of conservation both in popular culture and in the arts community, more and more people are recognizing it as a career choice...so that means more competition. Ultimately, as my mom always tells me, I entered with low expectations but high aspirations. My goal is always to be accepted, but my realistic goal in this, my first time applying, was to be offered interviews. I achieved my realistic goal. Now it's time to shoot for the stars, but with a parachute attached.

And off I go.

Materials

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:54:00 +0000

Conservation is all about materials. It is about history, but the history of materials. It is about treatment, but the treatment of materials. That's why chemistry is such an importation element in conservation.

I have started a recent project working on textiles, and I look forward to learning more about the materials involved in textiles. The structure of silk thread, the sensitivity of cotton to chemicals, etc. When you work with different materials, you have to research and read as much as you can on said materials. In conservation you deconstruct the materials in order to assess the situation. So I currently am reading more about textiles and trying to understand the histories, strengths and weaknesses of various weaving patterns, and looking forward to learning more about the basis of the textile: the material.

Hopefully my next post will delve into the subject more.

My Oh My

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:14:00 +0000

In the next week I have the following important things:

Finals
The OFFICIAL end of my Northwestern Internship
The due date of the NYU application
My sister's bridal shower and bachelorette party, both of which I co-planned, and both of which are happening in New York
Two of my very good friend's birthdays

LIFE.

Thanksgiving

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 15:18:00 +0000

So, its early in the morning and time to celebrate the best day in America. :0)

Today I'm thankful for my family, my friends and the awesome people that have helped me along in life. As I am gathering together all my information for grad school, I've realize how many people have helped me along the way and how lucky I am to have been given all the opportunties in my life. In the end, thanks.

Now, onto baking!

Applications

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 00:31:00 +0000

I have finally started putting together applications, working on my personal statements and thinking very seriously about my future in conservation (although, really, I'm always thinking very seriously about my future in conservation). Although its true, I am slowly realizing that writing "I think conservation is literally the coolest thing in the world" is not an acceptable personal statement. So here I go, talking about the value of material culture and the power of objects in history, including personal history. Also, include my experiences? And somehow how its the perfect combination of art and science? So many things, so few pages.

I have also started the final phase of my internship at Northwestern: report writing. It should be mentioned, maybe I have mentioned already, maybe not, that writing reports is the bread and butter of conservation. Treatment reports. Condition reports. Reports. REPORTS! Its not necessarily the most fun, especially since I am still learning (read: NOT GREAT), but it is arguably the most important. You have to take good notes, people. Forever and always. So my life is currently devoted to the computer screen and typing, either for my internship or my applications. YAY!

Hopefully, my next post will be about my new internship at the Field Museum, I'm working on textiles. It's super cool. Talk about that later.

Back to writing my personal statement. Summary: I love art! I love science! I love working with my hands! Trust me...I WANT THIS! Conservation is the coolest.

My First Presentation

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 16:22:00 +0000

This past week, Northwestern hosted a meeting of the CACG, the Chicago Area Conservation Group. The presentation was titled, "Creating Conservation Partnerships: How Education, Outreach and Digitization Initiatives Influence Conservation Treatment." I was part of it. I presented for about five minutes, not too bad, about my internship and how I worked on my respective treatments. I'll be presenting a longer version of this presentation at next month's Interns Talk, but this was my first introduction to the whole thang.

Let me start by saying I got SO nervous, my voice was shaking, and I literally ran out of breath at the end. It was scary. Beyond that, I don't think I said anything incriminating or politically incorrect. Sometimes, in conservation, if you use the wrong terminology it doesn't just look dumb, it looks bad. Its important to be clear and honest, because your choice of action if very important. Anyways, I was scared I'd mess up a word, and it'd suddenly sound like I was doing something terrible. Luckily, that didn't happen. Afterwards, I was able to speak with a few of the conservators at the Art Institute and some private conservators. It was definitely interesting speaking with them, and hearing about their professional experiences.

So, it was alright. Not great. I got too nervous. But it's over. And I didn't say anything too bad. And I know that eventually, I'll get more comfortable talking about conservation treatments and such. Overall, it was a great time, beyond my nerves.

Decisions? Decisions!

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 00:55:00 +0000

So as I apply to programs, I reassess my current situation. Needless to say, registering for class in the upcoming semester is leaving me a bit confused as to my next step. Anyways, to entertain, here is a treatment I recently performed. Its a basic fill, but with lots of toning and some in-painting.

The thing about this whole treatment is that its all reversible, everything I inpainted was done on fills, so a removable japanese tissue. Anyways here is the before...

And after.

Its a Soviet Era poster that we're putting up on display. Its just a section of the treatment. But I am pretty proud of this little section.

Preparation.

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 17:08:00 +0000

So, I will be taking the GREs in t minus 6 days, I also will be presenting a short slide show about my internship for the Chicago Area Conservation Guild in two weeks, and starting a new internship next Friday, so it looks like a lot of things are coming down the pipe. Oh, yeah, also applications? And class? And still interning? And planning my sister's bridal shower, in New York?

So I guess, what I'm going to talk about now is preparation, and the fact that I am doing all of this in preparation for preparation. To be a conservator, nowadays, you have to go to grad school. I mean, there is a way to get out of it, but the 'easiest' way to is go to grad school. Grad school prepares you for a life in conservation. And I am currently preparing myself for a life of grad school (hopefully, if I get in, etc).

I guess what I'm saying is I am still doing warm up laps for the qualifying round, and my legs are getting tired. But stronger?

I have always done alright in school, and taken it pretty seriously, but I've always been a bit aimless. I liked art, but I knew I wasn't going to be a professional artist. I liked history and English, but I knew I'd never want careers in the fields. I've always appreciated science, but never really saw myself as a scientist. I've had interests, but nothing I'd bend over backwards for. Now, boy oh boy, do I have something. Its tiring constantly working toward and thinking about a single goal. I'm not necessarily a one-track mind type person, but I guess, I've learned in the past few years, I can be.

So now I feel like its strange seeing myself as an all-consumed type, as a workaholic, as someone who is leaving the house at 8AM and not getting home until 11PM, on a regular basis. It's weird being in a place in your life where you think, wow, I wish I could sleep less, it'd give me SO MUCH MORE TIME! But, alas, that's where I am. And hopefully I can keep this up for a while, as it seems like this lifestyle isn't going to end any time soon.

So yeah, trying to be an art conservator, not even BEING one, is not necessarily a laid back experience, but its fun. And I am learning so much. And I get to do cool things. And I get to make cool things. So yeah. I guess that's it.

For now I'll keep on prepping, hoping things fall into place, and I am able to keep this thing up for quite some time.

Freak Out Mode

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 22:20:00 +0000

I am set to the the GREs November 1st, and have effectively decided that starting November, I will seriously begin the application process. What is also means is that I have officially entered freak out mode.

When people get to know me, at least initially, they would not guess I am so nervous inside. I like to think I present myself as a laid back individual, that being said, I go into freak out mode at times, especially when things get intense. I'm not mean, or crazy, or anything, just a nervous person/constant worrier. While I have been talking about this nebulous art conservation thing, starting now, with studying for GRES and putting together portfolio pieces and all these things, I am starting to go into freak out mode. Its becoming real, and that is scary. VERY SCARY.

So anyways, here comes the realness.

Care of Paper Artifacts/The Sleepaway Camp for Conservators

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 22:36:00 +0000

I was really lucky to take a student assistant position at the Campbell Center this past week. One of the conservators at Northwestern teaches a class called the Care of Paper Artifacts, and she offered that I come with her and "assist" while also getting to take the class for myself. While most of the lab work we did was a review from the past six months at Northwestern, a lot of the lecture was new information to me. It was, overall, a very great experience.

WARNING: I will now go on a tangent about the Cambpell Center.

The Campbell Center is a small but amazing institution located in Mt. Carroll, IL about 3 hours west of Chicago. It is run out of the few buildings that used to be Shimer College (a school that still exists, on the IIT campus). The center offers courses on historic preservation, collections care and conservation. Its a small place, and everyone gets to know everyone. You live there-- sleep in dorms, eat meals together and explore the area together. Its really great.

I had heard about the Campbell Center my senior year of college, when I really started working in conservation. I remember flipping through the catalog, and eyeing the paper conservation classes, hoping that one day I could afford to take them (there are scholarships offered, and many of the classes are reasonably priced, but I was indecisive and about to graduate, so I did not investigate further). It really is amazing that a little over one year later, I am taking the course for free, and helping other people in the class with things like building passive humidification chambers and poulticing with methyl cellulose.

The course was a very solid introduction to paper conservation techniques, ethics and history. The students came from all walks of life, some were librarians and teachers, others were technicians and preparators and everyone was very interested. It was interesting to see other people deal with the methods I had been taught, and exciting to discuss conservation with other people interested in the field.

The truth is, the Campbell Center is a small place, and a non-for-profit, and in a small town in western Illinois. It is also a really special place, where people who love history and art can come together and talk and learn about the best way to care for our history and preserve our past. Also, all the instructors are very respected in their field, so its not in any way backwoods and shady (which in the wild west of conservation/restoration, is something you may stumble upon).

I had a great time and recommend anyone interested in learning more about specific topics in conservation or preservation checking out this great place.

Quite a Whirlwind...

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 17:23:00 +0000

I was really lucky to be able to go to the Winterthur/University of Delaware Portfolio day this past week, along with a small side trip to New York City. Turns out, it was a lot of fun and very educational in the sense that is showed me what EXACTLY is expected of my application to grad programs.

The Winterthur Program at the University of Delaware is on its own small estate, formerly owned by the Du Pont family. Its a wonderful museum, and a really beautifully landscaped estate. The grounds of the Winterthur are very historical, and you get a sense that this is is exactly what a program called the Witherthur should look like. What I'm trying to say is its SOOO FANCY! haha.

I was able to tour the various labs, and speak with some first year fellows in the conservation program, including meeting Heather from Repair The Tear, who was super helpful in telling me all about her pre-program experience.

Moral of the story: its a lot. You have to be prepared to answer in depth questions. You have to really want it. You have to be a chemist, an artist, an art historian. You have to be prepared to devote yourself to conservation. I am ready, emotionally. Now it all comes down to compiling/creating a really compelling portfolio, with lots of reporting and research, along with actually applying.

:0)

I will be assisting a paper conservation class at the Campbell Center next week, so I'll hopefully post again about my experiences there. Photos from my trip still to come.

Excited, but tired.

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 18:56:00 +0000

I love things that happen at the last minute....I hate them but I love them. Well my internship at Northwestern was SUPPOSED to end the 1st of this month, then, on the 28th of August, I get called to the preservation director's office. My heart starts beating fast, and I don't want to jump to conclusions, but in shocking twist, things worked out. They offered to extend my position until December. I said yes. YES!! haha. I may have been a bit loud considering the library atmosphere. I was very excited.

I should mention, that I really really REALLY am thankful for Northwestern. They want me to go to grad school almost as much as I do. The conservators are so supportive and friendly, the atmosphere is similarly so. They're truly a great set up and I cannot believe how lucky I am to have this opportunity.

Now that means I will be taking three studio art classes, interning and volunteering, not to mention I have yet to take the GREs and will be slowly putting together my actual program applications. Oh life. So intense.

Anyways, I am extremely excited, and now looking forward to my visit to the Winterthur programs portfolio day NEXT WEEK, but I am tired, trying to finish things, and catch up, even though the semester has only started. AAHH life, it never stops.

Starting Over. Again. And Again.

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 16:47:00 +0000

So today is the first day of the Fall semester at the community college where I will be loading up on all the art requirements for conservation school. Although I've already taken two classes, I still have three outstanding, so this fall I will complete the pre-reqs. What does that mean? Well, I will most likely be VERY tired of making art by the end of this whole thing, and my hand skills will probably be at their best. Art is like exercise, the more ya do it, the better ya get...so I will be a MASTER by December.. haha.

Beyond that, my internship at Northwestern is winding down, and suddenly, I feel as though I have not taken nearly enough advantage of it. Of course, that's how it always feels, but I will be cramming these last few weeks with photo-documention, report writing and book binding, hoping that all the disparate pieces come together in the last weeks.

Needless to say, I am quite stressed, but hopefully, it'll all come together. RIGHT? RIGHT?!?! haha.

We shall see......

Treatment Photos

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 23:09:00 +0000

I've been finally taking some AFTER TREATMENT photos, so here a few before and afters. Just for funsies.

LINING:

Before

After.

Fills. Using toned Japanese tissue, wheat starch paste.

Before

After.

Flattening, Separating.

Before.

After.

Washing and Lining

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 04:56:00 +0000

Going from this .....

to this...

I took some pictures of washing and lining newsprint. I did this with methyl cellulose, although in the past I have been using wheat starch paste. I gotta say, its pretty fun getting all the pieces together...

side note: there is purposefully a small space between the two largest pieces, because the object will eventually be folded....

Well, Well, Well.

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 16:00:00 +0000

It's been a while since I've updated. I should post new pictures and such, but I'm not there yet. Anyways, I have finally finished my Chemistry class, and I feel incredibly relieved. Its not that the class was particularly difficult, but it was particularly time intensive. I now have about a month before my next group of classes start (all studio art!) and a GRE to take. The plan? Study in August, and finish up my internship at Northwestern strong, take the GRE in September and then go to the Delaware's portfolio day in the middle of the month. Probably return feeling unprepared and totally distraught over the high level of applicant portfolios. ha.

Luckily, I've been able to find a few volunteer conservation things to take up my time after my internship ends in September--Fingers crossed I will be working on a project in the Field Museum and I will definitely be at the Oriental Institute, helping with a metals rehousing project. Beyond that, three classes will take up a lot of my time as well. As for now, I will take this weekend off, have fun, and start up again tomorrow, emailing people, drawing, organizing and memorizing vocab words for the GRE.

50%

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 17:52:00 +0000

Today is the Fourth of July, arguably one of the best holidays because 1) it's not religious, 2) its about unity and celebrating the diversity and awesomeness that is America, and 3) its done that by eating food and sitting outside enjoying the July sun with people you generally like and/or love. Also, pretty much no one works, so you can see family and relax without the pressure of gift giving or anything like that. As a psuedo-immigrant (I always feel weird claiming that since I was a year old when my family moved to America and have no recollections of a life outside of Illinois), I have always held a strong connection to American pride and what it meant, because of my distinct awareness of what America has provided me. However, in some ways, my own experiences, and those of my family in their emmigration, have definitely provided me with what I like to call a 'realistic' approach to life, something that I definitely think has affected my choices and my view of this whole career in a field that is very difficult to get into and very difficult to continue in.

I guess I'll start anectodal. Everyone likes to splurge a bit, and though I make a small amount from my internship at Northwestern, the one thing I allow myself to buy is coffee at the library coffeeshop during my lunch break. Yes, its 1.85 each day, but for me, thats my frivoulous expense, and I savor the luxury of a warm cup during the middle of a long day (with chem class afterwards its pretty much non-stop from 8am to 1030pm). Well, on this cup, at the half way mark is on of those cutesly little markers that says "half way full". Adorable, right? So everyday, I sit and stare at that little marker, and think about how important optimism seems to be in this country. But, I myself, am no optimist, and you know what? I think thats okay. I think when you have half a cup of coffee, its not half full, its not half empty, you just have half a cup of coffee. Savor what you got, accept that you already had half, and be done. In many ways, people think this approach is a bit, well, negative but I think approaching life realistically prepares you for the worst and lets you savor the best.

As my mom has always told me, have low expectations and high aspirations (which I'm sure is from something, but I don't know what, so I will attribute it to mama sorokin). In the end, I guess that's how I view my personal pursuit of conservation. Its not perfect, I have had to make sacrifices and struggle with things, but at the same time, I know that if I work hard enough, eventually it will come. I do not expect miracles, I do savor when things go well. And you know what? I enjoy when I have half a cup of coffee, because that means half is already inside my belly, and the other half is still waiting for me in the cup.

Rinse, Repeat

noreply@blogger.com (liz.) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 17:24:00 +0000

I've taken to my sick bed today. Yesterday, during a chemistry exam, I am pretty confident my fever broke. While walking to my car after class, I could not stop shaking, and I blasted the heat in the car on my drive home. I'm sick. Its unfortunate timing.

The nice thing is its giving me a moment to rest, and breath, and get inspired once more. These past few weeks have been great, but also quite intensive (and it doesn't seem like they'll get less so any time soon). I have had to take two steps back in order to go forward, and even though I have completed the organic chemistry requirements for grad school, I am currently enrolled in Chemistry I at the local community college.

Unfortunately, because of how my college AP credits worked, I never actually took Chemistry I and II, so now I am sitting through the basic classes, and trying to remind myself that I should not get too comfortable in them. So now, four nights a week, I am going to my chemistry class, along with working at Northwestern, and I was supposed to start volunteering, well, today. That didn't happen.

I guess my past few weeks have been about repetition, or more like, swallowing your pride and accepting that you have to go back and re-do things sometimes, even if you really don't want to. I think we can all agree that no conservator (or aspiring conservator) dreams of re-taking chemistry, or, in the case of a recent book treatment of mine, undoing the entire treatment to reduce the size of the end bands, and re-doing the whole thing. It's frustrating. But the best way to learn is to repeat, and so I continue on.