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Pulp Commentary - WISHMASTER 2: EVIL NEVER DIES

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Jul 2018 16:00:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we STILL haven't learned to be careful what we wish for, and for our infernal transgressions, we're thrown into the slammer! Wait, who's our cellmate? THE DJINN!? Wow, this is awkward. Guess they finally got your ass for tax evasion. But, hey, as long as we have this ancient demonic genie here, we might as well watch his simultaneously delightful yet disappointing sequel, WISHMASTER 2: EVIL NEVER DIES! Come for all the B-Horror splendor, but stay to watch a movie monster briefly run a Russian crime syndicate.

Avoid any and all ironic wish granting by downloading the commentary now!

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Pulp Commentary - Friday The 13th: The Series 1x2 'The Poison Pen'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Jul 2018 15:31:00 +0000

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, the pen truly is mightier than the sword! Mostly due to a Satan infestation. Once again, on this holiday of torment and MURDER, we take in the questionable franchising of an already existing franchise, by visiting everyone's favorite antique shop that has no right being in business. The tradition bleeds on, as we watch episode two of FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES (AKA Friday's Curse)!

Watch out for sneaky monks by downloading the commentary here!

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Pulp Commentary - WISHMASTER

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 14:54:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we learn to be careful what we wish for. What did we wish for, you may ask? Pizza. Mostly pizza. But the demonic Djinn did us dirty by instead turning US into pizza, aaaaaaaaah. So, we ate ourselves to DEATH. And that was a long winded way to a Spaceballs reference in this description for a WISHMASTER commentary. You're welcome. But anyway, rub that lamp and get ready for a who's who of horror actor cameos, because we're taking in this lost 90s gem!

Wish to download the commentary? Click here!

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Pulp Commentary - Friday The 13th: The Series 1x1 'The Inheritance'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Apr 2018 14:38:00 +0000

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, our usual machete laden tradition is eschewed temporarily into an excursion into some franchise expansion! Gone are horny teens, buckets of blood, and an undead momma's boy wearing a hockey mask. Instead, we got ourselves... an antique shop! Oh, yes, may GOD have mercy on all your souls, as we check out the haunted items found in the first episode of the 80s In Name Only cash-in (underrated as it may be), FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES!

Inherit your own demonic antique shop by downloading the commentary here!

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Pulp Commentary - Halloween: Resurrection

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 19:55:00 +0000

In this special-ish edition of Pulp Commentary, it's been seven installments since the night HE came home... and the eighth is easily the one night HE would rather forget, along with the rest of us. While everyone's entitled to one good scare, the particular horror of sitting through this movie takes things a step too far with Mike, MB, and Hero as they fire up their 2002-era webcams to watch, witness, and text the slow message of death at a beloved horror icon in the saddest possible end of a long-running series. Yell trick or treat at some mothers, because we're subjecting ourselves to HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION.

Avoid the swift roundhouse kick of a 90's rapper by downloading the commentary here!

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Pulp Commentary - FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009)

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Oct 2017 20:37:00 +0000

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys return to the beginning. You see, there's all the usual suspects: sack heads, hockey masks, Mrs. Voorhees', copious amounts of machete action, and... America Olivo's boobs? Waitaminute, that's different! Appreciated, but different. It's remake time, folks! So, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE THIS JASON AIN'T SCREWING AROUND. But more importantly, settle on down to the camp fire of an operating Crystal Lake, and for god sake help out that Winchester brother - he needs places to hang his fliers! - all by joining us this ultra special October Variant of the unlucky holiday, as we wind down our blood thirsty tradition with the Marcus Nispel directed reboot merely titled: FRIDAY THE 13TH.

Uncover the hidden gold within Jason's various tunnels by downloading the commentary here!

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Pulp Commentary - SPAWN

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 01 Oct 2017 20:59:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we're not the vindicators, or the victimizers, or the vaporizers, or the vibrators, we're the... COMMENTATORS! So, slip on your slinky suits of necro-goo, Pulpers, and wrap that not at all real cape around you, because Martin Sheen sent us to HELL, and we're here to return the favor by watching what I dub thee a seminal work of 90s superhero action romp sleaze -- SPAWN! S to the P to the A to the AWN, S to the P to the A to the AWN. Go, Spawnie!

See us at Wanda's by downloading the commentary here!

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Pulp Commentary - JASON X

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Jan 2017 20:02:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys unfreeze themselves in the far flung spaced out future of 2002 -- which looks suspiciously like the late 90s aesthetically, but neither here nor there. In this STRANGE future time, we know not what terrifying cheapness awaits us around the same corner being re-used over and over! But the most alarming aspect of this time-space, is that all the calendars are stuck on one single solitary date... FRIDAY THE 13TH. And that means only one thing: even in the future we can't escape podcasting obligations! Without any 80s sexyness to save us, surrounded by annoying early 2000s character types featuring the cast of Andromeda, AND the faint pounding vocals of "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" inching ever closer... we have no choice but to let the NANO MACHINES turn us Uber! So, we can record this UBERCOMMENTARY for JASON X. It's okay, guys, he just wants his machete back.

Re-enter the atmosphere and die HISTORIC like Jason, by downloading the commentary here.

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Pulp Commentary - A Christmas Story

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 19:53:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, it 'twas the night before Pulpmas, and all Mike could think was how David Cronenberg's The Fly nearly drove him to drink! It's that special time of year again, as the boys audibly roast chestnuts on an open fire and talk about the true spirit of the season: discussing both the heartwarming and horrific Christmas gifts of the past while watching the 1983 classic A CHRISTMAS STORY. Does a legless Beast still have genitalia? How did Spider-Man save one future host's Christmas while damning another? When does one idle joke manage to create the single greatest alternate universe of all time? And will Mike, MB, or James ever actually talk about the movie they're watching? Santa knows, but he's not telling. Not while it's still Nuclear Winter.

Shoot your eye out as much as you'd like by downloading the commentary here!

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Pulp Commentary - Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Mon, 31 Oct 2016 18:57:00 +0000

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, it's been 20 years since the night HE came home (and I'm pretty sure since our first commentary). But the twilight of Samhain is once again falling, and a new player has entered the game that conjures the EVIL back from it's slumber: Josh Hartnett. We're disappointed that Michael didn't just want LL Cool J's autograph, as well. Our Shatner faces slide back on (this time CGI!), and our kitchen knives sit at the ready, because it's mano-a-mano versus a ticked off Jamie Lee Curtis, as we continue the tradition with HALLOWEEN H20: 20 YEARS LATER.

Secretly get retconned out of having your head chopped off by downloading the commentary here!

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Pulp Commentary - Stephen King's IT

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 19:38:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we are IN the Deadlights now! 30 years later, the boys of Pulp Nightmare are returning to their childhood town to finish what they started when they were but children of the 90s! Carrying a bucket of battery acid and a belief in the tooth fairy (and some trusty anti-clown gear they had laying around), they head into the caverns of Maine with only one purpose... record the longest commentary of their lives. Oh, and you're coming with us! So, arm yourselves with imagination slingshots, avoid Belch wielding greasers, and yell "HI-HO SILVER, AWAY!" Because we are ALL floating tonight, baby! We're FINALLY watching the TV movie event of the 90s... STEPHEN KING'S... IT. It's like it was always meant to be a Pulp Commentary.

You'll be wise, very wise indeed, by downloading IT right here!

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Pulp Commentary - Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 May 2016 23:39:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys celebrate the entirely too talked about death of Jason Voorhees by taking a nice trip down to ole' Camp Crystal Lake for some nice wholesome skinny-dipping fun. But just when they thought it was safe to go back in the pussy... they hear the sound they've been dreading all this time. The oncoming footsteps of a black man! Wait, that came out wrong. It's a body-hopping adventure of underwhelming proportions, as this Friday the 13th, the camp-crazy cast of Pulp Nightmare are made to sit down and bear witness to the most trying installment of the series yet - JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY. You know why this commentary's gonna stick with you? Because you're getting a taste of the Duke!

And how about a taste of Jason's delicious heart too? Then download the commentary here to chow down!

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PULPWATCH 1994: American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson Ep10

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 01 May 2016 20:23:00 +0000

"Get in the car... or I'll tell 'em you're Jewish." - Nathan Lane to John Travolta

The Juice is finally loose! But can that really be considered a spoiler? Regardless, it's curtain call for PULPWATCH 1994, as the boys of Pulp Nightmare bid goodbye to a television show that they're somewhat confused even existed - American Crime Story: The People V OJ Simpson. But is there a twist ending where history radically diverges, aliens descend from the skies and attack, and the only man who can lead humanity towards the fleeting hope of survival is A.C.? God, we wish. Instead, we're treated to a series of plot-lines wrapped up in the most puzzling of ways, the arrival of a surprise dog that appears for... reasons, and multiple - really, too many - proposed murders for Judge Lance Ito. But there are so many questions left! Whatever became of that Nazi medal? Was it sold on the black market? And what about that romance left danging between Marcia Clark and the black man she continually mistreated? And finally, is Robert Shapiro truly the Devil incarnate? Is he the sinister mastermind who killed Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman, framing O.J. Simpson for a crime he did not in fact commit? Well, listen in, and maybe you'll be surprised. We sure weren't.

Feel the sweet taste of freedom right along with OJ by downloading the episode here!

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PULPWATCH 1994: American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson Ep9

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 13 Apr 2016 20:40:00 +0000

"PRESSURE?!" - Robert Shapiro

The trial of the century mercifully, thankfully starts winding down as the boys of Pulp Nightmare are brought to their absolute limit of endurance in the penultimate installment of PULPWATCH 1994. Your honor, we'd like the Nazi to take the stand. What's that? He said something about Judge Ito's wife? Stop the damn trial! Oh wait, he's stepping down? Trial is back on! Wait, he's inexplicably back? We don't know anymore. But the important question remains: Will Travolta be able to keep his unrelenting fury over the possibility of riots in the streets in check? And why does Cochran seem to want to incite one? Wait, why was THAT the ending?! You know what, AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V OJ SIMPSON, we don't know anymore. We just don't.

The Juice is loose! Download the episode here to escape!

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Pulp Commentary - DREAMCATCHER

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 06 Apr 2016 19:23:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys decide that they've had enough of civilization for one weekend and go off to the woods in celebration of the life of a dear friend who's no longer with us - that friend being Stephen King's sanity. But once they settle in, they discover that something's quite amiss; Worm eggs sit precariously across the ground, ready to be hatched, horrible, unconvincing CGI wildlife roams the countryside, the corpse of Lawrence Kasdan's dignity is slumped over a toilet, and... is something moving under there?! Oh yes. We're going there. Going to a world in which The Punisher, Agent 47, Brodie Bruce, Morgan Freeman's eyebrows, and that guy who really should be a bigger deal than he is, are terrorized by the unseen - the staggeringly incomprehensible. A world as viewed by a man on a hell of a lot of painkillers. We've got some work to do now, because this is the 2003 box office bomb known as DREAMCATCHER. We Duddits.

Answer that ringing gun and save the world from Ellen Ripley by downloading the commentary now!

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PULPWATCH 1994: American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson Ep8

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 30 Mar 2016 23:31:00 +0000

"Next question!" - Cuba Gooding Jr. as OJ Simpson

You know, George, we've been thinking. Maybe it's time to do this PULPWATCH 1994 thing right. On a very special eighth installment of the ten-part series, FX's AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V. OJ SIMPSON, the boys of Pulp Nightmare sub out a usual guest for a very special guest who gives them the inside track on what really happened behind the scenes of the show - granting us a rare interview, series star and recovering Hollywood actor, Cuba Gooding Jr. as OJ Simpson! What secrets does Mr. Gooding Jr. As OJ Simpson spill exclusively for us, if any? How did he meet series creator and show-runner Ryan Murphy? What does he remember of working with John Singleton? Why is John Travolta the evilest man he's ever met? And whose skin is as "smooth as silk"? Also, we barely talk about the actual episode. You have to understand. He had to sign a lot of NDAs.

Escape the murderous gloved claws of OJ by downloading the episode here!

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PULPWATCH 1994: American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson Ep7

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 20 Mar 2016 19:37:00 +0000

"Why you be half-steppin'?"

Objection! Your honor, we'd like to call American Crime Story: The People v OJ Simpson to the stand. That's right, it's another edition of PULPWATCH 1994, and the boys of Pulp Nightmare discover that this episode may be the most factually inaccurate to date! From Marcia Clark's lust for a sexy black co-worker to the subsequent trial endangerment of the prosecution, to Robert Shapiro's ultimate moment of super-villainy and David Schwimmer's post-career breakdown that even the show doesn't show, it all culminates in the shocking - not to mention ridiculous - recreation of the fateful moment of the entire trial: that god damned glove. Will it fit? Must we acquit? Of course not, but the revisionist history going on makes us sad. Come on, Judge Ito, you can still make things right! You can still make it more of a circus!

The Juice is loose! Download the episode here to escape!

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Ep 95 - BREAKING NEWS!: Elmo Rules The World!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 13 Mar 2016 21:40:00 +0000

In which the boys unexpectedly break from the norm and read aloud the tales of the unaccountable... of another! Following a headline making arrest of a certified crazy man, who we should remind you is one hundred percent certifiably crazy, Mike delves deep into the psyche of a conspiracy that spans even deeper than he himself initially thought - much to the horror of his awestruck co-hosts! It all began [REDACTED], on a summer [REDACTED] in the middle of [REDACTED], when a [REDACTED] got [REDACTED] by a group of [REDACTED] and their [REDACTED] in the middle of a [REDACTED]. But wait, there's more! The eyes of evil look upon us all, as we realize we are not alone. [REDACTED] exists! And there's proof of [REDACTED]! They hide beneath the surface of [REDACTED]! And President [REDACTED] knows about it, too! I know, it's insane to contemplate, but hear us out! Join us in a mind-melding [REDACTED] of pure unadulterated pleasure as [REDACTED] fondles your [REDACTED] for the purpose of [REDACTED], here on Pulp Nightmare - where the crazy come to conglomerate their ideas of [REDACTED]! We're sorry. He doesn't love you. #LizardTruth

Download this [REDACTED] here, if you dare.

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PULPWATCH 1994: American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson Ep6

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 13 Mar 2016 00:22:00 +0000

"'Cause I'm for real! Hear me? I'm The Juice!"

Know what this is? This is The FX's tombstone, because we've already planned it's funeral. In yet another edition of outrage, madness, and inexplicable confusion, the boys of Pulp Nightmare engage the medium of television for the sixth installment PULPWATCH 1994, trying to decipher the incoherent messages of AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V OJ SIMPSON. And between a credit sequence that just won't appear, a love story that doesn't seem to be a love story, racism and sexism interwoven together in such a way that it's practically a new level of offensive, and the single most perplexing use of Seal's "Kiss From A Rose" ever attempted, the PN alumni sure as hell have their hands full. Why was there so much dancing? Why was the Nazi presented to look sane? What in God's name is Ryan Murphy doing with the camera? Is it drunk?! The answers will never come. They just won't.

Escape the murderous gloved claws of OJ by downloading the episode here!

PULPWATCH 1994: American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson Ep5

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 22:50:00 +0000

"JUDAS!" - Robert Shapiro

We're not trying to be respectful about this podcast, we're trying to win! It's that time again, as an acclaimed director steps into the seat of FX's AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V OJ SIMPSON. Listen in as the boys of Pulp Nightmare discover what happens as betrayal rocks the trial of the century from both sides and tensions flare up, sparking a surprise exit on behalf of historical inaccuracy, Johnnie Cochran's super villain plot to end all super villain plots, the most one-sided feud over whether or not a man can be able to sit on a bench, and the single most shocking - and hilarious - ending in television history. PULPWATCH 1994 continues on, but will the collective sanity of Mike, MB, and Hero remain intact? Only [Armless Tiger Man] knows!

The Juice is loose! Download the episode here to escape!

PULPWATCH 1994: American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson Ep4

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 25 Feb 2016 01:37:00 +0000

"Lesbian sex, 197!"

The Trial of the Century begins - slowly and shallowly - as Pulp Nightmare sits through yet another trying chapter of America's sleaziest show currently on television, AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V OJ SIMPSON. And this one's full of everything the boys have grown to hate, from camera work that induces outright nausea to the frustrating lack of anyone involved with the show doing what Johnnie Cochran asks: Choosing a side! But before we're all treated to dark, tan, and Hawaiian Travolta, hear the live reactions to such oddities as O.J. Simpson's memory palace, Marcia Clark's refusal to ever be competent, the most surprisingly overacted outburst yet, and the continued racism of Mark Waid from Earth 2. Juice, you gotta help us... We don't think we can sit through this one too much longer.

Escape the murderous gloved claws of OJ by downloading the episode here!

PULPWATCH 1994: American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson Ep3

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 18 Feb 2016 21:36:00 +0000

"He'll never stop being The Juice!"

Uncle Juice is not black, he's OJ! And with one of their own enjoying a fresh glass of OJ, the boys of Pulp Nightmare continue their live trek through the long, drawn-out true life story fictionalized in continually tasteless fashion that is the FX's AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V. OJ SIMPSON. And Episode 3, The Dream Team, gives us answers to all important questions while simultaneously telling us nothing at all. Why does Marcia Clark seemingly never seem to stop smoking cigarettes? We don't know. When was Kato Kalein ever considered famous? Never explained. Who convinced Nathan Lane that joining this show was ever a good idea? We only have our assumptions. In perhaps the most boring showcase of this real life murder re-sensationalized for prime time cable, we do however learn the true origins of the Kardashian empire. And that has to count for something. Right? Give a listen as PULP WATCH 1994 continues.

The Juice is loose! Download the episode here to escape!

PULPWATCH 1994: American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson Ep2

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sat, 13 Feb 2016 02:38:00 +0000

"Everything Is Terrible!" - A.C. Cowlings

The Juice Is Loose! And going about 20 miles per hour. For the second installment of the critically acclaimed drama (seriously?) that details the fall of one of the bit players from the Naked Gun movies, the boys of Pulp Nightmare are digging deep and searching for answers where the early 1990's Los Angeles Police Department wouldn't. Like what Kato Kalelin is even doing here when he's clearly confused, how Robert Shapiro's super villain schemes extend to menacing the X-Men, when did David Schwimmer manage to get steady work playing an Armenian, whether or not Theo Huxtable ever managed to stop for food, and why, oh why is there just so much goddamn pizza? It's The Bronco-Heavy Episode 2 of American Crime Story: The People V. OJ Simpson, "The Run Of His Life". Listen all y'all, it's a sabotage.

Escape the murderous claws of OJ by downloading the episode here!

PULPWATCH 1994: American Crime Story: The People V. O.J. Simpson Ep1

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 00:06:00 +0000

If the glove doesn't fit, Pulp Nightmare must acquit! Listen in as Mike, MB, and Hero travel back in time to the early 1990's, a world of seedy pizza endorsements, celebrity making schlock, and a real life murder mystery that captivated the nation. But was The Juice really a murderer all along? Well yes, but that's beside the point. What is the REAL American Crime? Kato Kaelin's modern day doppelganger? The origins of The Kardashian Empire? John Travolta's complete lack of facial movement? Only The FX knows. Join the boys for the ultimate tale of the unaccountable as they live watch the premiere of AMERICAN CRIME STORY: THE PEOPLE V. O.J. SIMPSON.

The Juice is loose! Download the episode here to escape!

Seasons Bleedings: A Pulp Nightmare Christmas Special

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 01:00:00 +0000

In which Hero gives the boys The Gift of The Zombi...

Download this Tale Of The Unreturnable here, if you dare

Pulp Commentary - STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI (original theatrical)

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 18 Dec 2015 22:10:00 +0000

A Long Time Ago On a Podcast Far, Far, Away...

Everything has transpired as they have foreseen it. Having harnessed their podcasting skills through the power of the Force, Mike, MB, and Hero have become Jedi Knights like their fathers before them, launching Pulp Commentary on one final adventure; at first bringing them face-to-face with the most villainous slug in the galaxy, bearing witness to the sheer humanity of one Rancor trainer, and pulling off the most ludicrous stunts since Boba Fett's dive into the Sarlaac Pit.

But now, they face the full power of a fully armed and fully operational battle station! So many questions remain unanswered as they journey into the final piece of the original trilogy, STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI!

Will Mike ever admit his true feelings to that sister he doesn't have? Will MB finally be able to come to terms with being more machine than man now? And will Hero be able to narrowly escape certain death when he's told, in no uncertain terms that... IT'S A TRAP?! Find out, but prepare for Ewoks! For the love of God, prepare for Ewoks!

Use the Force to download the commentary, right here.

Pulp Commentary - STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (original theatrical)

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 16 Dec 2015 21:24:00 +0000

A Long Time Ago On a Podcast Far, Far, Away...

It is a dark time for Pulp Commentary. Like something out of a dream, the Pulp Podcasters make their return to that galaxy torn asunder by civil war and Interplanetary Nazis! While huffing the warm organ steam of a dead cosmic camel, they trip out and start taking orders from a weird apparition, setting them on course for The Dagobah System!

Join the Rebel allies Mike, MB, and Hero once again as they begin their adventure mauled by an abominable snowman, trudge through swamp planets in a vain attempt to lift spaceships with their mind, barely escape from a cave that is definitely no cave, and find themselves entertained by the company of... Space Billy Dee Williams? This deal is getting worse all the time!

The force is with young Pulp Commentary, but they are not Jedi yet... not until they sit down to watch part 2 of the epic trilogy, STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. They're not afraid, but they will be. They... will be...

Use the Force to download the commentary, right here.

Pulp Commentary - STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE (original theatrical)

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 13 Dec 2015 20:33:00 +0000

A Long Time Ago On a Podcast Far, Far, Away...

Three humanoids (Mike, MB, and Hero) are under fire aboard a Rebel ship carrying the long-lost data plans for the theatrical cuts of the original STAR WARS trilogy.

Narrowly escaping the clutches of a dark lord who found their lack of faith disturbing, the ragtag group find themselves up to their necks in sand people before running afoul of a crazy old wizard who teaches them the ways of The Force. Ending up on a ship piloted by a scruffy-looking nerf herder and his walking carpet of a co-pilot, our heroes discover that is, in fact, no moon.

The circle is now complete as Pulp Commentary ventures into a special event, inexplicably left in charge of a fleet of X-Wings while watching the first part of the epic trilogy, STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE. They've just taken their first step into a much larger world...

Use the Force to download the commentary, right here.

Pulp Commentary - Friday The 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Nov 2015 20:26:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys climb aboard a cruise ship, their destination: The Big Apple. But something is amiss... something is wrong. To the left of them... 80s stereotypes. To the right... more 80s stereotypes. With a drop in their gut, they rush to a nearby calendar. Yes, it's what they feared. Once again, the evilest of dates have come around. As the ship sets sail before they have a chance to get away, they can only grab some hockey masks of their own and join in on the fun. Say Bon Voyage, folks, because we're sailing to HELL, AKA New York, New York, and the in-cruise movie you're joining us to watch is: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN. Least he'll fit in.

If you want to try your damnedest by boxing ole' Jason Voorhees, download the commentary right here.

Pulp Commentary - Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 21:19:00 +0000

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys don their cult robes, and grab a butcher's knife, because it's that time of the year again, and they're about to take their most incomprehensible trip to Haddonfield yet! Black magic! Genetic engineering! Paul Rudd! Not the first time these three ingredients have been put together, and this won't be the last! Well, actually, it kind of will be, but in more of a semantical kind of way. Put your Shatner faces on, folks, and ring our door bell, we're inviting you in this Hallow's Eve as we continue our deadly tradition. We're watching: HALLOWEEN 6: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS. Save us, Ant-Man!

Quick! Don't join The Cult of Thorn by downloading the commentary here!

Ep 94 - THE PULP GALLERY

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 29 Oct 2015 19:04:00 +0000

DESCRIPTION: Anthology episode of the podcast designate "Pulp Nightmare", in which the humans relinquish their hosting duties to an artificial arbiter of puzzles and their inevitable solutions. QUESTIONS: What is the terrible, secular secret of "The Devil's Night"? How will one host survive the festive depravity of "The Wicker Schnitzel"? Can an organic lifeform calculate the improbability of "Pool Cue Of The Year"? And what do a shipping crate, norse mythology, and the Phantom of The Opera have to do with "Hot Crackers"?
ANSWER: Step inside the doors of The Pulp Gallery, and find out. AWAITING ENTRANCE TO PULP GALLERY...

Download this Tale Of The Unaccountable here, if you dare, humans.

Pulp Commentary - MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 13 Sep 2015 20:32:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, WE HAVE THE POWERRRR... but not a lot of money. So, half of this commentary takes place on earth, inexplicably. But, utilizing our Casio keyboard to assist Dolph Lundgren as He-Man in battling Frank Langella as Skeletor (a credit that never ceases to be fun to say) we still manage to save the cosmos from evil! So, to Eternia, dear listeners! For we're watching Cannon Films' MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE!

Claim the power of Greyskull for your own private use by downloading this commentary here.

Ep 93 - Who Meets The Meatman?

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 30 Aug 2015 22:29:00 +0000

In which the boys kick back and take it easy, discussing life, location, and racism involving ninjas. But their laid back approach is interrupted by a mysterious hooded figure from another dimension whose sole existence subsists of tormenting one man who made the mistake of summoning the evil spirit years prior! It's bloody, it's horrible, and nothing will ever be the same once you encounter the nightmare of the one known only as 'He Who Drops Meat On The Street'. Speaking of demon summonings and the apocalypse!

Download this Tale of The Unaccountable here, if you dare.

Ep 92 - Assimilation... Now!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 12 Jul 2015 21:22:00 +0000

On a strange and enlightening journey through an island of sugary treated horrors, the boys respond to a real life tragedy by waxing poetically about the human condition, the true morality of man, where we lie on the food chain, and what lengths one government will go to in order to stifle the robot menace once and for all. God damn you, you amazing Chocolatier. God damn you and your science gone awry!

Download this Tale Of The Unaccountable right here, if you dare.

Pulp Commentary - Silent Night, Deadly Night

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 21:25:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, it's X-Mas in July! And the boys... you know what, no. We're not even going to do it this time. This movie has taken things too far. Santa Claus has claimed too many lives for these injustices to go on! Kids, don't enable this... this red suited MONSTER to keep annually invading your lives with promises of toys! It's not worth it! Why, you ask? Well, he's a killer! And by that we mean a killer of cinema! Witness, for the first time, a movie so bad that it breaks the mold. The movie that nearly KILLED Pulp Commentary. We're of course talking about the Holiday slasher that somehow spawned five sequels and a remake: Silent Night, Deadly Night. Please, punish it. PUNISH!

To hear a fist hand unfiltered account of what a mixture of bad cinema and jingle bell rockin' terror does to one's mind, download this here and now! But don't say we didn't warn you. Ho. Ho. HO.

Pulp Commentary - The King of Kong: A Fistful Of Quarters

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 21:18:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we enter a seedy underground world, where the competition is fierce, and those who lose have their lives ripped away from them, drifting into shameful obscurity like embers flaking in wind. A coin slides into a slot, a machine flickers to life, 8-bit sounds jingle in a cacophony of whimsy. An ape stands tall at the top of the screen. But the real enemy for Mr. Steve Wiebe is not the ape. But an evil far more devious, far more cunning. One who will stop at nothing to knock the poor teacher down from the mountain he has spent his life climbing. The bearded menace wrapped in the red, white, and blue; the self proclaimed barbeque GOD, the fuhrer of high scores... Billy Mitchell. He. Must. Be. Stopped. Is The Wiebe the man for the job? Who will be The King of Kong!?

Insert 25 cents here to play and find out.

Pulp Commentary - TEEN WITCH

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Mon, 25 May 2015 01:23:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we take an uncomfortably close look at the depraved depths a pure evil soul reaches -- an evil the likes of which humanity has never seen before, and GOD WILLING WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN. Not outside of the 80s, at least. Her domain. Her CELESTIAL TIME PRISON. And if we have anything to say about it, it'll stay that way; Locked away where no man, woman, or child dare tread in this age! Our only regret, is for the rest of eternity she may continue to torment and haunt her victims, those innocent stereotypes of the 80s whose only crime was rolling their sleeves up too high. Yet, to each and everyone one of you, know your sacrifice is not in vain, for the lives of 90s and 2000s stereotypes have gone long untouched by her grisly wishes! But come with us, dear listener, as we gaze into our crystal ball at that unholy place called the 1980s, and see her tale unfurl like a snapping coil of hellfire. Tonight we are watching TEEN WITCH. Sometimes, winning is the greatest magic of all.

Download this Commentary here before Teen Witch wishes the truth away!

Ep 91 - PULPS AGAINST HUMANITY

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 10 May 2015 23:38:00 +0000

In which the boys take things in a slightly different direction - a direction involving the non-stop winding fury of GAMES! Listen in as Mike, MB, and Hero enjoy themselves for once by playing a not-at-all-new spin on the popular Cards Against Humanity, which leads them into finding out just what you'd trade a pack of cigarettes for, where you don't want to find either Sean Connery or Pac-Man, the wonders of The Orient, a strange sequence of cards that seem to be linked together, and how a scenario involving President Obama momentarily puts MB towards the path to victory. "Jafar"...

A thank you to CardsAgainstOriginality.com

Pulp Commentary - God's Not Dead

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 19:36:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, our brains melt out our ears and we experience offensive B.S. the likes of which we've never seen before, as we enter a magical realm that exists only in the minds of these insane filmmakers. So, join us -- we guess -- because we're watching the bizarre propaganda film: GOD'S NOT DEAD. He totally is though, don't let the title fool you. Now, go and text everyone you know that 'Pulp's Not Dead!'

(Also, head on over to our sister show Below The Bible Belt and listen to their DUELING COMMENTARY for God's Not Dead. Yes, we're giving you permission to cheat on us, but only as sloppy seconds)

Pulp Commentary - Dr. Phibes Rises Again

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 02:24:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, flesh crawls, blood curdles... and Phibes LIVES. Just when you thought the horrendous and complicated acts of murder/revenge were over... the coffin is open, and more shall pay! Join us as we go somewhere over the rainbow to watch: DR. PHIBES RISES AGAIN!

Pulp Commentary - Friday The 13th Part 7: The New Blood

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Mar 2015 18:55:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, you gotta look out for flying TVs just as much as slashing machete's, because not only is everyone's favorite hockey mask wearing killer back from the grave(again) but HE HAS MET HIS MATCH. Well, sorta. He does get a couch thrown at him. It's Supernatural Entity of Pure Anti-Sex Evil vs Teenage Girl Who Can Hurl Random Crap Around With Her Mind! The Rumble At Crystal Lake! The Showdown! The Battle of... Something-Something! So, come on and do the Jason Walk with us, because we're back at camp for FRIDAY THE 13TH PART SEVEN: THE NEW BLOOD.

Ep 90 - An Age Undreamed Of

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 19:41:00 +0000

A loose-cannon cop with nothing to lose (Christopher Lambert, Highlander) finds himself on the outskirts of a crime-ridden Detroit ruled by magical fairy-people and vile orcs, under the dominion of a power-mad crime boss known as The Mage. Can he cope with his post-traumatic stress of losing both his partner, and his wife and child in separate incidents long enough to save the Princess? Find out, in this 1988 adventure romp which also stars Gene Simmons, Heather Locklear, Bobcat Goldthwait, Donald Pleasence, David Bowie, and a special appearance by André the Giant as "The Dragon".
"✯ ✯ ✯ ! Made absolutely no sense, but I loved it!" - Peter Travers, Rolling Stone Magazine

Ep 89 - The Pulp Nightmare Valentine's Day Spooktacular

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sat, 14 Feb 2015 18:11:00 +0000

In which the boys and Hero really regret this episode. "Listen" as the "trio" are "disturbed" to the point of "insanity" by events that unfold in the dark recesses of the mind of a man made of beans, childhood icons are taken to task for their debauched behavior, and a fetishism is taken to such an extreme that even Swamp Thing is horrified. Kakarot! Greatest of Saiyans! Where are you when we need you?!
WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT DETAILED. Seriously. Censored for the most part, but heads up.

Pulp Commentary - Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 21:07:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, just when we thought it was safe to crank-up 80s rock and skinny dip... the series gets a defibrillator shock from HELL. One convenient lightning strike reminds us that nothing this evil (or marketable) ever dies -- and this time, Mrs. Voorhees' baby boy is DONE screwing around. Will a sexy hero be able to triumph over the now zombified killing machine? Will Tommy Jarvis finally quell his nightmares? Will this be the only legitimately well made film in the entire franchise? Join us, and (maybe) find out... because he's back, The Man Behind the Mask, IN... FRIDAY THE 13TH PART SIX: JASON LIVES. I'll get the body bags.

Ep 88 - Bury Me At Money Mountain

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 30 Dec 2014 22:46:00 +0000

In which the boys find themselves betrayed at every corner and fall victim to an unrelenting curse! Listen as alliances are forged and then immediately broken in a mad quest for power; witness the fall of the House of Pulp, one-by-one, at the hands of a cash-suited psychopath who can't stop doing calculations. Bring the Gold Helicopters lower! Bring them lower!

Pulp Commentary - DIE HARD

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 25 Dec 2014 19:26:00 +0000

In this special x-mas edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys now have a machine gun, ho ho ho. So, start knowing what a TV dinner feels like, bubby! We're your commentating white knights! Not even shards of glass in our feet can stop us from soldiering on through Nakatomi Plaza, and all forty stories of adventure it holds; because despite losing 25% of the hostages in the process, we're watching DIE HARD. We read about it in Time magazine.

Pulp Commentary - Total Recall

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sat, 13 Dec 2014 20:19:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys make the most important decision of their collective lives -- they get their asses to MARS. So, hop into a Johnny Cab and unleash the Kuato within you, because we're not only giving them air, but we're watching Paul Verhoeven's sci-fi classic... TOTAL RECALL. We can commentate it for you wholesale.

The Pulping Dead 5x08 'Coda'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 02 Dec 2014 19:57:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB hit somebody with their car, throw somebody down an elevator shaft, and find Bob's severed leg. Also, Beth dies. But don't worry about that. After carrying the song bird's lifeless corpse out to be set ablaze like she's Darth Vader, they watch Maggie roast marshmallows over it and discuss "Coda," the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead.

Ep 87 - Satan's Man Cave

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 20:36:00 +0000

In which the boys, once again joined by Hero, return to an old classic - MB's Newsdesk! And unfortunately so, because it details a real life tragedy that is mocked relentlessly and without class. Which mysterious foe of Pulp Days Past returns to taunt the trio? Only the Equestrians know, and they're too busy playing poor to care. He was sober that night! Really, he said he was! Don't you check the facts, America!

The Pulping Dead 5x07 'Crossed'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 25 Nov 2014 17:17:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB hail Hydra! But despite continuing to swear their allegiance to The Red Skull, even in the zombie apocalypse, they still manage to discuss "Crossed," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.

The Pulping Dead 5x06 'Consumed'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 18 Nov 2014 22:28:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB don't even know what to think some days. But as they wander from place to place, they discuss "Consumed," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.

Ep 86 - The Trilogy Of Terror!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 16 Nov 2014 20:51:00 +0000

In which the boys, joined by Hero, find themselves heading into a downward spiral of madness that only escalates with each tale of the twisted! How could cosplay go so wrong, and where the hell is Dave? What horror lurks beneath the recesses of one man's toilet seat, and how could it have endangered one podcaster's very life? Who is the Patron Saint of F**k-Ups, and why is he so racist?! These answers and more are revealed! No, damn you, not his toes! Is nothing sacred?!

Pulp Commentary - Friday The 13th Part 5: A New Beginning

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 20:47:00 +0000

In this special accursed edition of Pulp Commentary, the unkillable may have been killed, but the dreams of Voorhees still haunt us! On the most fake of evil days, this devilish Friday the 14th, we journey back into a randomly confined house in the woods to face our greatest fear -- Stand In Slasher-Man Killer Guy! For this time, there is no Jason for us to fall back on. No Camp Crystal Lake. No machete. Not even a single god damn red stripe! We're in a nightmare of unfathomably 80's proportions! And now, only Juwanna Man can save us... because we're watching FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V: A NEW BEGINNING.

The Pulping Dead 5x05 'Self Help'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 11 Nov 2014 21:47:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike, One-Legged MB and James 'T-Tendons' Lewis are, and I quote, "fun guys." But once they're finished hosing down the undead, they discuss "Self Help," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.

Ep 85 - Elfman Style

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 02 Nov 2014 20:52:00 +0000

In which the tables have turned, the game has changed, and the looking glass faces another! The dreaded things that mingle within the chthonian darkness of your faithful hosts, once again, clambers it's way to the surface; but this time it is Mike who has to venture into... The MBscape.

Pulp Commentary - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 31 Oct 2014 19:44:00 +0000

In this special edition of Pulp Commentary, the EVIL finally comes out of it's year long coma. But enough about Dr. Loomis, we're here for Michael Myers! The Rise of The Thorn begins here tonight, on this day of Samhain, because we continue our killer tradition with: HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS.

The Pulping Dead 5x03 'Four Walls And A Roof'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 21:28:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB mourn the loss of BOB. What!? You think every description gotta be FUNNY!? This is Bob we're talking about, you heartless bastards! Ahem. Anyway. After brutally killing those who took Bob away from us, we discuss "Four Walls and a Roof," the newest episode of The Walking Dead. WHY, BOB, WHY!?

Pulp Commentary - Night of The Creeps

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 23:43:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, your podcasters are here; the bad news is -- THEY'RE DEAD. So, you better welcome your new space slug overlords, spanky, and pop an 80's brewski while you're at it. Because we're watching: NIGHT OF THE CREEPS!

The Pulping Dead 5x02 'Strangers'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 22:55:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB lead you all into a trap to steal your squirrels. You don't have any squirrels, you say? Well... this is awkward. Would you like to eat a severed leg instead? While munching on Phil's leg, let's discuss "Strangers," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.

The Pulping Dead 5x01 'No Sanctuary'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 14 Oct 2014 21:36:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB eat people. What? It's in vogue, man! Don't look at us like that. Our delicacies aside, we also discuss, over a slow roasted Phil, the season five premiere of The Walking Dead, "No Sanctuary."

Ep 84 - FRY 'EM!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sat, 11 Oct 2014 21:22:00 +0000

In which the boys recount the last part of a real-life trilogy gone awry and get real with everyone, telling tales of woe and misfortune that results in some disturbing implications. Was he guilty of assaulting her? Did the conspiracy ring true? What the hell does yeast have to do with any of it? And if that weren't enough, Mike unintentionally journeys into The Phantom Zone and finds himself touching Coke, experiencing visions of the bizarre and the microscopic, and suffering a defeat at the hands of a pair of outdated glasses. YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING, YOU MONSTER!

Pulp Commentary - THE ROCKETEER

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 31 Aug 2014 00:17:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys ask you... WHERE... IS... THE ROCKET!? No idea? Well, can you at least reveal to us the identity of The Laughing Bandit? WHAT!? Good heavens, it's Sir Reginald!? But enough about us learning various secrets, because tonight we're strapping a jetpack on, wearing the most art-deco helmet in history, and battling evil nazi Timothy Dalton atop a blimp! Let it be printed in all the old timey spinning newspapers that we're watching THE ROCKETEER! And tell 'em Howard Hughes said so.

Ep 83 - Batman, No! Finale: Robin, No!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 18:17:00 +0000

Can it really be the end?! The boys certainly hope so, as Frank Miller's all-star magnum opus of mental instability comes to a terrifying conclusion. Gotham City has seen it's share of freaks, but how will it deal with costumed vigilante sex, chemistry lessons gone awry, hatred of the sun, butlers who like to dress little boys, that damned idiot Hal Jordan, clowns inexplicably covered with dragon tattoos, hatred of the sun, murderous twelve-year olds with lemonade, hatred of the sun; and worst of all, the dreaded cliffhanger... with no ending! Get your bull---- straight, Pulpsters, because this is one finale you don't want to miss. Well, maybe you do.

Ep 82 - Batman, No! Part Two: The Damning of Diana

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 03 Aug 2014 19:37:00 +0000

In further horrifying insights into the all-star life of The Dark Knight, the boys discover that heroes aren't all that they're cracked up to be as plastic men run rampant, the Irish speak nonsense, the shirtlessness continues, collarbones and brain injuries make a speedy recovery, madness is an upside down face, and precious blood is spilled. Hal Jordan, you useless bastard.

Ep 81 - Batman, No! Part One: The Endless Ride

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Mon, 28 Jul 2014 01:50:00 +0000

In this special epic of retarded all-star proportions, the boys take a break from their usual bouts of insanity to take a trip to... Gotham City?! Well, maybe this won't be so bad. Except, wait... Is that The Batmobile? Murdering cops?! And is that a terrified boy inside?! Why does he keep clenching his fist?! Who's the shirtless british guy?! Is that woman Irish?! Who's the man running across water and why does he keep saying "damn"?! What in god's name is a robot machine?! Why is the boy eating rats?! BATMAN, NO!

Ep 80 - Walton Madness!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 22 Jun 2014 19:27:00 +0000

In which the boys delve deep into the nightly recesses of America's #1 poverty retailer in order to discover it's horrifying secrets, from mysterious rooms hidden behind a veil of flat-screen televisions to the craziest back room dweller of all - with each story peeling back a new layer of insanity in one of the co-hosts! Then, it's social darwinism, as the first video game reality show is plotted in intricate detail to the point of almost certain arrest, one desperate man just tries to find a place to sleep for the night, and another turns a corner only to find a... WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH! Damn your vengeful spirit, Sam Walton!

Pulp Commentary - Friday The 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Jun 2014 21:50:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we once again find ourselves on a doomed 80's camping trip. But is it... for the final time? Due to movie executive greed, NO, it is not. We'll pretend though, 'kay? So, shed a tear, light your vigils, and be TERRIFIED of Little Corey Feldman; for Jason's time is at an end(until we need money). Tonight we watch: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART FOUR: THE FINAL CHAPTER. Featuring Crispin 'McFly' Glover!

Ep 79 - Time-Tripping David Bowie

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Mon, 19 May 2014 01:51:00 +0000

In which the boys aren't gonna talk about Judy. Mike and Hero aren't gonna talk about her at ALL. Because in a week of spectacular trailers, they're hung up on a return to their favorite small town, where laxatives are met with outrage and the prom queens vibrate. Where's our ax? WE'RE HUNGRY.

Ep 78 - The Horror At 3AM

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 04 May 2014 21:14:00 +0000

In which one of the boys discovers that the most terrifying thing of all is embracing life itself! Embarking on a journey of self discovery and laundry detergent that leads to the strangest overnight sub-culture of all, the time Thomas Jane and LL Cool J avenged the death of a parrot, and what the hell that head-sock that Gambit of the X-Men wore really was. All before diving into the real teeth of the matter: where Venom can stick that goddamn tongue. Dammit, Professor X! Stop being a dick for once in your miserable life!

The Pulping Dead 4x16 'A'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 02 Apr 2014 22:42:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB... arrive... to talk about "A," the Season Four finale of The Walking Dead. What? Did you think they were going to be eaten by a band of cannibals or something? You clearly don't know who you're [EXPLETIVE REMOVED] with.

The Pulping Dead 4x15 'Us'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 28 Mar 2014 19:30:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB fight over a skewered rabbit that's been kept out in the hot Georgia sun and stored in a garbage bag. But before they ate it and were stricken with a mysterious and sure to be unrelated illness, they discussed "Us," the newest episode of The Walking Dead. This episode's claimed.

Pulp Commentary - Vampire's Kiss

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 28 Mar 2014 01:29:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys - meaning MB and Hero, triumphantly returning for their second Mike-less commentary - discover love in the big city and allow their loneliness to drive them INSANE, resulting in eaten cockroaches, the wooden stakes of the homeless, precarious plastic teeth, and one jerk of a noctural flying mammal who just won't go away. A! B! C! D! E! F! G! H! I! J! K! L! M! N! O! PULP COMMENTARY FOR VAMPIRE'S KISS! This commentary is a vampire.

The Pulping Dead 4x14 'The Grove'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 23:25:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB have to make the hard choice, and put their beloved guest host, James 'T-Tendons' Lewis down... just... just look at the flowers, James. But don't worry, before they put one through the back of his head, they remembered to discuss their thoughts on "The Grove," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.

Pulp Commentary - FACE/OFF

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 09 Mar 2014 23:26:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, Special Agent MB Archer swears vengeance against the terrorist Castor Mike for shooting his beloved Batman doll six years ago. But when Castor Mike threatens to blow up all of Pulpopolis, MB Archer must do the unthinkable and trade faces with his long-hated enemy in order for the two of them to, A: Have a speed boat chase, and B: sit down and watch John Woo's 1997 action classic, FACE/OFF. This one's for you, Pinkus.

The Pulping Dead 4x12 'Still'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 05 Mar 2014 23:03:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike & One-Legged MB burn down a perfectly safe and reliable shelter in the middle of the apocalypse. Their bad decisions aside, they also talk about "Still," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.

The Pulping Dead 4x11 'Claimed'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 26 Feb 2014 23:07:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike hides under a bed, and One-Legged MB chokes on crazy cheese. But despite their pathetic states, they're still able to discuss "Claimed," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.

The Pulping Dead 4x10 'Inmates'

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 22:37:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB search for hope, all the while find themselves looking pretty badass in riot gear. But they reach the end of the tracks in time to discuss "Inmates," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.

Ep 77 - DEATH BY PULP ASSOCIATION

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 16 Feb 2014 18:56:00 +0000

In which the boys found America, putting everything in perspective through a series of GAMES. But that's not all! In a rarely seen glimpse behind the very souls of they who tell tales of the unaccountable, they discover what it means to grow up as the child of a supervillain, the missed opportunities that Jenga has to offer, the insidious connection between a certain German monarch and a world famous film composer, and logic be damned, how Spider-Man and 300 manage to fit into it all. Seriously, why was THAT your answer?

The Pulping Dead 4x09 "After"

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 12 Feb 2014 20:54:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike falls into a coma and One-Legged MB eats his weight in pudding. Thankfully, they get their heads together and find some sanctuary in time to discuss "After," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.

Ep 76 - The Lion, The Mirror, and The Beast

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 02 Feb 2014 07:54:00 +0000

In which the boys lose their fingers and their minds, revisiting some of their most frightening experiences - most of them being experiences they were never there for, but semantics. Grab your gas masks and military ponchos for this one, because Pulp Nightmare is back, baby. Back and all over your face!

Pulp Commentary - American Psycho

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 25 Dec 2013 19:36:00 +0000

In this Xmas edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys have no more barriers to cross. All they have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the commentaries they have recorded and their utter indifference toward them... they have now surpassed. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis. No deeper knowledge can be extracted from our jokes. This commentary for AMERICAN PSYCHO has meant nothing. But join us for it anyway, you stupid yuppie bastards!

Pulp Commentary - Friday The 13th Part 3

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sat, 14 Dec 2013 01:44:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys watch a harrowing coming of age tale about a boy, lost after the tragic death of his mother, discovering his destiny and becoming the icon he was always meant to be... by donning a hockey mask and hacking through sexed up teens with a machete. Yes, it is time we take another trip into the woods, and watch the slasher classic: Friday The 13th Part 3... IN 3-DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

The Pulping Dead 4x08 "Too Far Gone"

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 05 Dec 2013 03:14:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB, with the ever faithful James 'T-Tendons' Lewis at their side, lose everything they've worked so hard to protect to a one-eyed psycho riding a tank -- and not all of them make it out alive. Luckily, One-Legged MB comes back as a zombie and reattaches his head so he can join the two in discussing "Too Far Gone," the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead.

Pulp Commentary - Phantasm

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sat, 30 Nov 2013 01:38:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys wander down the empty halls of Morningside Mortuary, trying to avoid death traps in the form of flying balls and undead midget slaves! All the while, hearing the dark and demented bellows of "BOOOYYY!" in the distance behind them. Yes, keep your eyes closed, and don't look up, because The Tall Man is watching you! Meanwhile, we'll be watching PHANTASM.

Ep 75 - The Pulp Nightmare Thanksgiving Spooktacular

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 28 Nov 2013 23:02:00 +0000

In which the boys ask... why?

The Pulping Dead 4x07 "Dead Weight"

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 27 Nov 2013 21:44:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB DON'T WANT IT! THEY DON'T WANT IT! THEY DON'T WANT IT! But after dragging their former right hand man into a zombie pit and hanging their laundry, they discuss "Dead Weight," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.

The Pulping Dead 4x06 "Live Bait"

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 20 Nov 2013 23:53:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB are joined by special guest, James 'T-Tendons' Lewis, as they burn down their once great kingdom and wander lost through the wastelands. Thankfully, they're spotted by a kind family and given fresh haircuts so they can discuss "Live Bait," the newest episode of The Walking Dead and the return of The Governor.

Pulp Commentary - Batman & Robin

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 15 Nov 2013 21:04:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys feel a chill coming on. A really stupid, rubber nipple fitted, over the top, campy, chill. So, prepare for a bitter harvest and freeze in hell! And other manner of ice puns, because we're watching, BATMAN & ROBIN. Never leave the cave without it.

The Pulping Dead 4x05 "Internment"

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 13 Nov 2013 23:06:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB are saved from choking on their own blood by a half-man half-robot farmer with faith made of steel! With a breathing tube firmly down their throats, they actually manage to discuss "Internment," the newest episode of The Walking Dead.... Huh... does... does anybody hear that creepy whistling? It sounds... wait... COULD IT BE!?

The Pulping Dead 4x04 "Indifference"

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 07 Nov 2013 01:46:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB constantly fight the urge to say the title of this episode, as they go on a run and lose the nicest God damn watch in all of the zombie apocalypse. Luckily, they return to the prison in time to discuss "Indifference," the newest episode of The Walking Dead. WARNING: The Governor isn't in this recap either.

The Pulping Dead 4x03 "Isolation"

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 01 Nov 2013 00:59:00 +0000

In which Sheriff Mike and One-Legged MB come to grips with how easy it is to lose control, and discover that to survive you must sometimes hit a lot of zombies with a hammer. But thankfully they stave off disease long enough to discuss the events of "Isolation," the latest episode of The Walking Dead, and how Season Four is shaping up so far.

Pulp Commentary - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 31 Oct 2013 20:07:00 +0000

In this installment of Pulp Commentary: Horror Nights, it's been ten long years, but now the boys have awakened, slipped their Shatner faces back on, and are making their way back to Haddonfield -- to continue what they started! So, join us this Hallow's Eve by grabbing your nearest kitchen knife, because we're resuming our bloody tradition by watching: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. It's going to be one hell of a family reunion.

Pulp Commentary - Halloween III: Season of the Witch

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 30 Oct 2013 18:34:00 +0000

In this installment of Pulp Commentary: Horror Nights, it's time to celebrate your favorite holiday, kids! So, collect all your candy and plop yourselves down in front of the television set with us -- and don't forget to wear your masks! Because we're watching Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Brought to you by your fine friends at The Silver Shamrock Novelties Company.

Pulp Commentary - Re-Animator

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 19:25:00 +0000

In this installment of Pulp Commentary: Horror Nights, the boys want to introduce you to a very good friend of theirs. His name is Herbert West, and while he may seem weird, he actually has a very good head on his shoulders. And another one in a dish on his desk. So, pull yourself off that morgue slab with a little help from the re-agent, and join us in watching the horror favorite -- RE-ANIMATOR.

Pulp Commentary - The Abominable Dr. Phibes

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 21:41:00 +0000

In this installment of Pulp Commentary: Horror Nights, NINE killed her! NINE shall die! We have come back from the dead for revenge, with nine diabolical curses! Each one more comedically based than the last! So, to avoid our vengeful wrath, you should join us and our clockwork band this week, as we watch possibly the most terrifying film you'll ever see..... THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES! Love means never having to say you're ugly.

Ep 74 - The Great Conspiracy II: The Children of Nimrod

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 00:11:00 +0000

In which the boys discover that the conspiracy runs deeper than they ever could have imagined, MAN. Shocking truths are revealed in bulk after a chance encounter with a time-jumping metalhead, who's travelled very far to warn of the perils in a future gone wrong, and tells us how Pulp Nightmare can set things right! Ever wondered why there are so many Walmarts? How deep the government probe really goes? Why so many celebrities are dying?! What the sinister counterpart of the Blackula Hunters really are?! Or maybe even... the person or persons that orchestrated the Kennedy assassination?! It's all told, and everything is finally laid out, with answers to questions going all the way back to the original episodes! The secret history of the world goes deeper, and you better listen now. Before they do! THIS GOES BACK TO THE ASSASSINATION OF NOAH, MAN!

Pulp Commentary - Hellbound: Hellraiser 2

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 22:32:00 +0000

In this installment of Pulp Commentary: Horror Nights, the boys have an entire franchise to know your flesh! So, crawl out of your bloody mattress, and bow down to your God, Leviathan, because the boys are once again opening the box. This time it's to record a commentary that will be legendary -- even in hell! It's time to watch, Hellbound: Hellraiser 2.

Pulp Commentary - Scream

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 03 Oct 2013 00:54:00 +0000

In this month's first installment of Pulp Commentary: Horror Nights, the boys ring in the month of October by learning there are some very specific rules one must abide by in order to survive a horror movie. Listen in terror as they throw one of those rules out the window in an attempt to get with 90's Neve Campbell! That's right, folks, pop some popcorn, throw in a VHS, and ask yourself what your favorite scary movie is, because we're about to take our love of horror one step too far by watching the 90's slasher classic, SCREAM. We'll be right baaaack!

Ep 73 - Shuffling Past Archangel

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 29 Sep 2013 23:40:00 +0000

In which the boys discover that monstrous things go bump in the night, and the only way to stop them is with the power of soul! Witness and be amazed at the birth of several legends at once, as Mike returns with tales from his yearly adventure at the Baltimore Comic-Con, culminating in the reveal that getting old sucks, the chronology of cosplayers, the TRUE power of the psychic mind, condescending elderly folk, and the uncomfortable feeling that a man wearing wings brings about. That was Scarecrow...

Pulp Commentary - The Princess Bride

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 25 Sep 2013 04:00:00 +0000

Inconceivable! In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys - as in MB and Hero, sans Mike for the very first time - curl up in their sick beds and allow Peter Falk to read to them about a faraway magical land in which Andre the Giant is still alive, princes are douchebags, Billy Crystal is funny somehow, and the man known only as Westley is the dreamiest of all. So mount your faithful steeds and put on your six-fingered gloves, because we're setting sail with the Dread Pirate Roberts to watch the fantasy classic - The Princess Bride!

Pulp Commentary - Friday The 13th Part 2

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Fri, 13 Sep 2013 19:18:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys take a second trip to Camp Blood, formerly Camp Crystal Lake, to skinny dip, wear short shorts , and run slowly away from a hillbilly wearing a potato sack who's dealing with some serious mommy issues. Join us, on this cursed holiday, to get 80's and watch -- but barely talk about -- Friday the 13th Part 2. The body count... continues.

Ep 72 - To the Archives!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 25 Aug 2013 19:06:00 +0000

It's an all All-Star Pulptacular! Join the boys as they take a stroll down memory lane, uncovering haunted glimpses and disturbing images key to their past through the unseen, the unforgettable, and of course, the unaccountable. And it's all brought you by the long-fabled, never before revealed contents of the mysterious PULP ARCHIVES. WITNESS... the terrible tale of the phantom of discount prices. DISCOVER... the tragic and terrifying tale of the end of Hero! BE AMAZED... as the secret tumblr obsessions of a Hollywood elite are revealed! BEWARE... of the most bizarre and least sanitary Marvel Universe of all time! And PREPARE... for the stupidest clip-show you've ever heard in your life! Because finally, Mike and MB venture... TO THE ARCHIVES!

Pulp Commentary - The Mask of Zorro

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 21 Aug 2013 19:26:00 +0000

The legend has returned! In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys aren't just two podcasters, dammit! They're Zorro! So, ride alongside us on your trusty steed Toronado as we fight for a free California by watching the 90's action classic -- starring Anthony Hopkins as a Spanish man -- THE MASK OF ZORRO!

Ep 71 - The Great Conspiracy

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 06 Aug 2013 18:58:00 +0000

In which the boys start connecting the dots only to find a bird of a different feather, rummaging through every place they can for answers! From their own past to Frankenstein's castle, listen as a grand plot begins to unfold like propellers on a zombie's face. What's that smell? Is it lilac!?

Pulp Commentary - Star Trek

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 25 Jul 2013 01:41:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys discover that space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence, as they boldly go back in time and create an alternate universe to bring you this commentary for J.J. Abrams Star Trek. We also destroy Vulcan, but that's neither here nor there.

Happy Fourteenth of July from The Abominable Mister Spydee!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Mon, 15 Jul 2013 03:15:00 +0000

In which the boys and Hero hand over the mic to their very special friend, world-infamous scientist and two-time Tony Award nominee The Abominable Mister Spydee, who has taken a break from creating Things That Should Never Be to give you folks at home a lesson in safety, friendship, and the proper way to celebrate America's favorite holiday! No, the other one. No, the other one.

Pulp Commentary - Jack Frost (1997)

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 14 Jul 2013 22:12:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys will find a way! And that way is by being splashed with experimental acid and transforming into a giant killer snowman. What else did you think would happen? So, join us for Christmas in July as we sit by a roaring fire to watch the no budget horror comedy JACK FROST. He is one seriously pissed off snowcone.

Pulp Commentary - Independence Day

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 04 Jul 2013 05:07:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys will not go quietly into the night! They will not vanish without a fight! They're going to record! They're going to make jokes! Because on this Fourth of July, we're going to celebrate the 90's classic -- INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Pulp Commentary - ZARDOZ

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 27 Jun 2013 05:37:00 +0000

In this very special 50th edition of Pulp Commentary, the gun is good, but the penis is evil! That's right, to celebrate fifty commentaries, the boys are going Beyond 1984, Beyond 2001, Beyond Love, Beyond Death! So, strap on your bandoliers, because we're watching the John Boorman directed trippy 1970's nonsensical extravaganza... ZARDOZ! Climb into the flying head, this is going to be something...

Pulp Commentary - Ghostbusters

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 16 Jun 2013 20:28:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys are ready to believe you! So strap some untested, unlicensed, nuclear accelerators to your backs, because we're getting slimed to watch the 80's comedy classic GHOSTBUSTERS.

Ep 70 - Lube Jobb

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 04:33:00 +0000

In which the boys discover fascinating finds in the Dollar Tree bin, including a stunning commentary on race relations in a way you wouldn't expect, evil corporate sponsors, the Indy 500 of the future, constant and sudden subliminal advertisements, rejection of the handicapped, and amazing website finds. This episode of Pulp Nightmare was brought to you by the refreshing taste of Squirt! Get it in your mouth!

Ep 69 - Col. Mustard is a BITCH (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Flexo)

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 21:06:00 +0000

In which the boys find that the tables are once again turned, because it's time for a new Flexo Fourway! From cryptic clues to secret beginnings, listen as Mike, MB, and Hero try to decipher the mystery behind a nefarious prom plot, how turning things over solves their problems, and perhaps the most important question of all -- how DO YOU turn Flexo on? Stop beating inside my chest, Hitler!

Ep 68 - A Portrait Of A Swarthy Man

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 26 May 2013 18:07:00 +0000

Bam! In which the boys become whimsical warlocks of worthlessness, tired and trite triumvirates of the testament to one demon dog's delightful method of monstrous madness! Sling us that scandalous sleaze, Pulpo!

Pulp Commentary - Tank Girl

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 05 May 2013 21:41:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, you better arm yourselves with the power of punk rock, you mutated kangaroo dudes, because the boys are watching the 90's cult comic book adaptation, starring the one and only Lori Petty as the eponymous ball buster and Naomi Watts as her brainy sidekick Jet Girl. Yeah, that's right. Pour yourselves a glass of water, crank up Devo, and prepare yourselves for...... TANK GIRL!

Ep 67 - Back To The Frenchman!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 18:34:00 +0000

In which the boys, along with Hero, attempt to uncover the truth and expose the fallacies that plague the innocent! From the chaotic ripple effect that one miscalculated joke has on the entire podcast, to the tragic downfall of an icon. The comedy takes a backseat to the real-life account of a strange series of events that take place, predictably, in Texas. But wait! Is all what it appears to be? How can the impossible happen again and again? Can the Weapon X program be roped into a real life mystery? Adam West, no!

Pulp Commentary - John Carter

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 19:52:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys find themselves in the far off land of Barsoom, where they get the hots for a Princess(of mars), meet up with some Gods(of mars) and narrowly defeat a Warlord(of mars). All the while sitting back in a hut with their good friend Tars Tarkas to watch the long awaited adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' science fiction classic: John Carter...(of Mars).

Ep 66 - The Diary of Mike Frank

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 18:34:00 +0000

In which the boys descend into a rabbit hole of madness, through dreams and demons of time, crossing paths with the likes of Tom Waits, Winston Churchill, and Hitler along the way! We all have two faces, but are any of them white? Only The Modern KKK knows!

Pulp Commentary Redux - Street Fighter

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 02:51:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary Redux, the boys return to Shadaloo, and attempt to create the perfect genetic soldier! So strap in, we're going to flash some gnarly stuff in front of your eyes while you turn green, because we're re-watching the 90's classic -- STREET FIGHTER.

Pulp Commentary - Rocky IV

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 18:55:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys montage themselves to the cold and heartless USSR, for one reason, and one reason only -- we must break you. So, don't you dare throw that damn towel, because we're watching Rocky IV!

Pulp Commentary - Flash Gordon

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 20:39:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, we love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the earth! So, for God's sake, strap yourselves down! Because you're joining the boys, Mike the Merciless, his right hand man MBlytus, and insane former NASA scientist Dr. Herkoff, in watching the 1980's camp cult classic adaption of the comic strip hero... FLASH GORDON! SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE!

Pulp Commentary Redux - Robocop

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 22:01:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary Redux, the boys try to regain their humanity, as they've become part man, part machine, ALL podcaster. As sponsored by Omni Consumer Products, the boys return to their first commentary... ROBOCOP.

Pulp Commentary - The Slumber Party Massacre

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 01:06:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys get a slash course in terror! So, order a pizza, take a group shower, and talk that 80's talk, because we're watching the slasher favorite: The Slumber Party Massacre!

Ep 65 - Man Made, Hulk Hogan!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 00:02:00 +0000

In which the boys are joined once again by Hero, as they realize it's been far too long since an episode went up. To rectify this, Hero brings forth a book of WONDER! Except that it has nothing wondrous about it. Or does it? Listen as the three try and fail to decipher the ramblings of a very confused individual while making silly voices and threatening to take YOU down, Hulk Hogan!

Pulp Commentary - Sorority House Massacre

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 19:57:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, which of the boys will survive the final exam!? Join us, as we watch for the first time the 80's slasher masterpiece: Sorority House Massacre.

Pulp Commentary - Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 00:43:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys return to the field, for HE lives again! Join us and He Who Walks Behind The Rows as we fulfill the final prophecy by watching the devilish sequel -- Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return!

Pulp Commentary - Judge Dredd

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 23:16:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys didn't betray the law, they are THE LAW! It's time to load up your Lawgiver, rev up your Lawmaster, and annoyingly take off your helmet, because this isn't any ordinary commentary: it's a Mega-Commentary! Why? Because we're watching the 90's Stallone epic -- JUDGE DREDD.

Pulp Commentary - Antichrist

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 21:28:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, chaos reigns -- as One Sided Commentary returns! This time, listen in horror and disgust as one of the boys mutilates his own genitalia as he watches Lars Von Trier's Antichrist!

Pulp Commentary - Mortal Kombat Annihilation

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 20:23:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys choose their destiny and test their might, as they fend of Shao Kahn's invasion forces made up of rubber monsters and plastic cyborgs. So, sit down, relax, polish your metal arms, and put on a bitchin' 90's beat, because the boys are watching the haphazardly made sequel... MORTAL KOMBAT ANNIHILATION! FLAWLESS VICTORY!

Ep 64 - Off The Grid

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 27 Jan 2013 19:45:00 +0000

In which the boys discover that the dead can come back to life and demand some goddamn answers, as they fruitlessly attempt to analyze a blunder that extends beyond their friendship, decide where the bodies are kept, enlist the South to save a life, and get positively livid. How did it escalate so fast!?

Ep 63 - Whatever Happened to the Pulp Podcaster?

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 21:00:00 +0000

In which the last surviving boy and Hero bury their grief long enough to celebrate the life, the legend, the roller coaster of emotions that was Mike J. Napier. From the best of times to the worst of times, they relive it all, mourning that which was taken too soon and a friend to all woodland creatures everywhere, from his troubled battle with addiction to his rise to stardom on Broadway, the Oscars, and eventually, the night it all went wrong. Also featuring Megan Fox and the tears of a Sasquatch. Yeah, really.

Pulp Commentary - End of Days

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 26 Dec 2012 02:26:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys celebrate the holidays and new year by battling a Satan infused Gabriel Byrne with the help of Kevin Pollack. Join us as we lock and load to watch the late 90's, and Schwarzenegger starring, End Of Days.

Ep 62 - The Pulp Nightmare Christmas Spooktacular

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Tue, 25 Dec 2012 18:19:00 +0000

In which one of the boys and his guest-host forget the reason for the season, and instead recover a long-suppressed memory of madness, destiny, and chicken fingers. Listen as a prophecy is fulfilled and immediately voided, a conspiracy is hatched by the most heinous fiends ever united around a poorly-crafted table, and one host overcomes his primal fears to become... The Perfect Mike.

Ep 61 - Like Having God In Your Mouth

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 20:03:00 +0000

In which the boys go gay for Garth Ennis without even realizing it, and plot to kill cereal mascots, as they envision the horrifying true story of history's most infamous serial killer -- from torture through feeding the victim his own nose, to skinning a tiger alive, and with some involvement from Edward Norton. Listen to the origins of the monster known only as... The King.

Ep 60 - World War Sales

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 00:41:00 +0000

In which the boys and Hero recount tales of woe and take comfort in the blood of Jesus. Listen as one of their own falls behind enemy lines, goes First Blood on discount prices, gets adopted by a loving family, shoves old ladies to the ground, and spends Black Friday buying sticky notes. Raaaargh!

Ep 59 - History's Biggest Dick

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 21:08:00 +0000

In which the boys jettison into space and decide that being immortal is beneath them, as they go on an adventure across time that sees drunk driving aliens, the invention of painted diamonds, laboratories of doom, and the most unlikely mantle of all. Goddamn Purpleskins.

Pulp Commentary - The Poughkeepsie Tapes

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 23:30:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, it's a One-Sided Commentary! Listen in as the boys get a disturbing play by play by their good friend Hero, as he watches the unreleased faux-horror-documentary, 'The Poughkeepsie Tapes'. YOUR NAME IS SLAVE!

Pulp Commentary - The Spirit

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 18:35:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys don't like it when they have egg on their face, as they rise from the grave to battle crime bosses and femme fatales in Central City, while falling in love with every woman they meet. Tonight, our commentary screams, because we're watching the Frank Miller directed adaption of Will Eisner's The Spirit.

Pulp Commentary - Halloween 2

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 05:22:00 +0000

In this special Halloween edition of Pulp Commentary -- the boys don't know what death is -- as they return to Haddonfield on the night of October 31st 1978, for more of the night HE came home. Join us as we avoid pervy paramedics and traverse a seemingly deserted hospital, because we're watching Halloween 2.

Ep 58 - FRANKENPULP

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 28 Oct 2012 00:05:00 +0000

In which the boys give into the season in an unexpected way: like mad scientists, they attempt to exhume several parts of a dead recording and stitch it together, reanimating it into a living, breathing, episode. It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!

Ep 57 - The Assassination of MB by The Coward Mike Napier

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 21 Oct 2012 18:43:00 +0000

In which the boys shrink the kids and dig for lost treasure at sea, as they enter a stream of consciousness that even they can't keep up with. From a life as chain smoking newspaper editors, to the plot of Weekend At Bernie's 2. Listen to a true testament of horror as MB dares to enter... The Mikescape.

Ep 56 - Go, Go, Power Believers!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 07 Oct 2012 20:45:00 +0000

In which the boys and Hero embark on a secret crusade against the forces of Norsefire and discover the proper use for amazeballs, entertain celebrity boxing with the creators of Sandman and Spawn, get biblical because it's awesome, and discover the greatest missed opportunity of the 90's. Alpha! Find five teenagers who believe in God!

Pulp Commentary - Super Mario Bros. The Movie

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 20:56:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, the boys grab a power-up and attempt to rescue the Princess the only way they know how... trusting the fungus. So, strap on your Thwomp Stomper's because we're watching 'Super Mario Bros. The Movie'. This ain't no game.

Ep 55 - Shut Up, Bruce Willis!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 23:23:00 +0000

In which the boys leap into tiger pens and assault old women, as they're joined by an unsual guest that disrupts the show on numerous occasions. Amidst the maddening task of dealing with his rudeness, a new installment of MB's Newsdesk is attempted! Emphasis on attempted.

Pulp Commentary - Twin Peaks "Pilot"

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 05:30:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, The Bookhouse Boys journey beneath the sycamore trees, as they find themselves in a mysterious little town that's not all it seems. Fire walk with us, as we do commentary for the Pilot episode of Twin Peaks. Damn fine commentary, Diane. Damn fine commentary.

Ep 54 - Walking Behind Tuxedo Mask

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 17:48:00 +0000

In which the boys set their sights on junkies and flirt with booth babes, as Mike returns to the 2012 Baltimore Comic-Con in a follow-up trip that puts him face to face with Shopping M. Bison, a chance encounter with the man that co-created Ra's Al Ghul, cosplay food lines, and a professed love for freaks. He wrote it on Batman's cape!

Ep 53 - Pulp Expo 2012

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 02 Sep 2012 03:27:00 +0000

In which the boys look to the future! And find nothing but weird inventions that will take them across the stars. From the world's most unlikely source of cancer, to a wall that can't stop screaming, this is the Pulp Expo!

Ep 52 - The Guy With The Batman Tattoo

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 18:00:00 +0000

In which one of the boys is MIA, whilst another enlists the help of Hero to weave the harrowing tale of a lone computer hacker's feeble attempts to stop a killer of women. Soon he finds himself plunged head-first into a deadly web of murder, steampunk, dildos, and Daniel Craig. Why do so so many people want a piece of MB? Just how many nazis are in Flexo's family? What is the secret hiding beneath Hero's private chateau? After this episode, you'll all need to shower dramatically.

Ep 51 - CREDITS

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 23:06:00 +0000

In which the boys, along with Hero, welcome a long awaited fourth piece of the Pulp puzzle -- who loves movie re-enactments and hates the Amish. He is Flexo, and his legend is only cemented further by a four-way of Flexual proportions that raises more questions than answers. Goddammit, he's not Marty McFly!

Pulp Commentary - Santa's Slay

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 17:42:00 +0000

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, it's Christmas in July! So, come on over, roast some marshmallows with the boys, and pull up a chair next to the fire, because we're watching the holiday classic -- Santa's Slay.

Ep 50 - SECRETS REVEALED!

zer00joker@yahoo.com (Mike Napier & MB) — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 05:20:00 +0000

In which the boys have made it to the big five-oh! And thankfully for us, they're still not the least bit mature about it. Joined by Quizmaster Hero and a mysterious machine that will decide their destinies and seal their fates, Mike and MB journey inward in order to answer the questions of time and space itself! For the very first time, discover the origins of Pulp Nightmare and the unholy union that will forever drive it, as recounted through their legendary idiocy!

But wait, there's more! In a stunning revelation, discover which pioneer of animation has a dark and checkered past, what MB would do when confronted with the ultimate No-Win scenario, the most amazingly simple strategy for fending off cultists, and plenty of Sin City references. It's an hour of absolute madness, and an hour that perfectly encapsulates what it means... to tell tales of the unaccountable.