From a sincere woman who is fed up.

I work in a car dealership, a very male dominated industry, where women historically hold the jobs in accounting, reception and internet. I am a woman and a manager in the finance department, and work with all men in the finance and sales departments. It’s a position I work well in, not only because I do my job well, but because I don’t subscribe to the typical girly behavior and we all get along and have a fun time working together.

So the problem lies with my interactions with the woman-only accounting department and the women in reception and internet departments. They all seem to hate me and take every opportunity to “throw me under the bus,” talk behind my back, and give me unnecessary attitude whenever they can. I really try to maintain my composure and a clear head and not react to this negativity, but the pressure is mounting. It seems pretty clear to me that the negativity is coming from jealousy and/or envy from these other women. From their viewpoint, I’m sure it seems like I do a whole lot of nothing except hang out with the boys and joke around, and get paid well for it, while they hold hourly-wage positions that don’t leave a lot of room for fun. The truth is that they rarely, if ever, see the true contribution I make to the company. The sales department is either on or off, busy or bored, and we have to be available at all times for the customer whenever they may show up. We may not be constantly inputting data, counting receipts, or filing, but our presence at work is constantly required. And that’s what we get paid for too. If we’re working (selling cars) we’re getting paid, if not, we’re not. And we are paid well (respective to the current economic climate) for the risk of up or down sales that we take in our jobs.

Anyway, I’m in a situation where I am targeted, by people who are irrationally upset with me, for complaints and accusations that are unwarranted. Although I’d like to just ignore this behavior, I’m afraid that the growing resentment and rumors will spread to people who are just as irrational (our General Manager) and who react without ever attempting to get the whole story. It’s more of a guilty until proven innocent environment, if you’re even around long enough to defend yourself. I’d like to confront them, but I don’t want to start a war. Without reducing myself to the level of this kind of catty behavior, how should I deal with this kind of negativity around me?

Thank you for your continuing contribution to women in business.

Wow.

• Typical girly behavior?
• Innocent until proven guilty?
• Unwarranted accusations and complaints?

Your work environment sucks. Hardcore.

It’s safe to say that there’s a lack of leadership at your car dealership. Someone needs to be clear and call for an end to this catty behavior. Unfortunately, you’re not the one to provide that message. The people who need to deliver this message are the owners of the dealership and the general manager. This means that you have to get these men to see your point of view.

How do you do this? You appeal to the financial side of the business.

I’m reminded of the statement, “If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.” If women are being catty, they have too much time on their hands and they think it’s okay to behave like this. They may also be aggrieved and taking out their frustrations on you because you’re a much easier target than the boss. Talk to the leadership team at your dealership and let them know that this catty behavior reflects an opportunity to do things differently. You can challenge these women to work harder and put them on more important projects; you can ask these women to form a task force to address morale and issues in the workforce; or you can simply start to eliminate headcount.

I’m a big fan of giving women (and men) meaningful work so they don’t have time to be bitchy.

What do you guys think?

I had a friend ask, “Simple question, Laurie. Are you happy?”

I responded, “I’m not a simple girl.”

That’s such a stupid answer and I immediately regretted it. Those are the kinds of answers that make me want to puke in my mouth. So let me try answering this again.

• Of course I am happy.
• I have an awesome life.
• I don’t want for anything.

Am I always happy? Pffffft, no way. I have flaws. I am hypercritical. Aways on edge, dissatisfied, looking for meaning where meaning doesn’t exist. I am kind of melancholic when it’s unnecessary. Let me clarify: I am moody.

But yeah, I am happy. I’m just not stupid happy. I anticipate sorrow in life. I am ready for it. Always.

So let me ask you a simple question: are you happy?

Fatty HR writes,

I work for a private company that is going to start penalizing employers through a premium increase if said employers don’t provide vital statistics to the insurance co.’s website.  Plus, you have to gain so many points through exercise to avoid the raise in payment.  There is concern over this amongst everyone, and personally I think it is a violation of personal liberties.  I came across your site by doing a random search on this subject and saw at least one of your articles on this issue.  Do you have any recommendations on where to start research to show that Wellness Plans do not work and that they are more or less a scam? PS — I’ve been doing some research and noticed that some of this nonsense complies with HIPAA — as far as I understand it.  Still does not make it right in my book.

Fatty, I feel for you.

Look around and tell me if you think wellness plans are working. Are people getting healthier? Thinner? Better looking? No way. If anything, we’re all fatter and sweatier. I’m including myself in the bunch. I almost had a heart attack putting away my groceries, the other night, which included two bags of Utz Chips.

Wellness plans are a temporary, short-term solution. They may lower insurance rates; however, most statistics in medical journals and business magazines are provided by the healthcare industry. We will never know the truth because there’s too much money invested in keeping you on statins, creating a national food policy that revolves around empty carbohydrates & high-fructose corn syrup, and making you feel bad about being fat.

If I were in your shoes, I would consider contacting the ACLU to see if there are existing lawsuits in this space. I would also find a better benefits broker who can offer your company a decent insurance plan without this garbage.

Want another short-term solution to fight the insanity? Tell your employees to lie.

People exercise, eat right, and still drop dead from all kinds of ailments. Why can’t your workforce just say they’re exercising and eating right without actually doing it?

• When a nurse practitioner from the wellness program calls and asks you if you’ve been getting 45 minutes of cardio more than 3x/week, you say yes.
• When you are asked if there is enough fiber in your diet, you say yes.
• When the doctor prescribes Lipitor and wonders why your cholesterol isn’t lower, you shrug your shoulders. Who knows? Bodies are weird.

Personally, if I were an employee at your company, I would lie and pretend like I’m trying to get healthy. Then I would eat like a sumo wrestler and have all kinds of elective surgery covered under the terms and conditions of the insurance plan. I recommend that your employees have every mole removed on their bodies. Fix those hemorrhoids. See the the foot doctor and remove those ugly bunions.

If your employees are smart, they will do anything under the sun to make sure that their insurance costs increase in 2010 under this stupid and unsavory plan. It’s the only way to send a message.

I spent a few days in New York, this weekend. Many stores in Herald Square will be open on Thanksgiving, and I was so dispirited by the news. I understand that people will flood that area for the parade, but it seems weird to me that anyone would want to shop for crap on Thanksgiving. Obviously I’m totally old school. It’s unfortunate that Americans must consume copious amounts of turkey and Banana Republic scarves on a national holiday.

Want my advice? Skip the damn scarves and eat more mashed potatoes. It’s better for America.

*

I also feel sorry for the workers who are caught up in a cycle where they work for $8/hr, have no medical insurance, and feel compelled to work on a national holiday because it pays time-and-a-half. These employees are trying to make a buck; they are trying to improve their own financial situations; and they are participating in a cycle of consumption that ultimately works against their own best interests.

Oy. Capitalism.

*

As much as it may suck to work on Thanksgiving, it seems worse to get up early and work on Black Friday. We’re in the midst of a recession, unemployment rates are high, and someone will probably die at a store fighting over the last unit of DJ Hero: Jay-Z versus Eminem Renegade Edition Bundle with a turntable.

So here’s what I want to know.

• Do you work in retail?
• Are you in HR retail?
• Have you worked on Thanksgiving or Black Friday?

Anything we should know about how crappy your job is? Can we do anything as consumers to make your job better? Should we just stay home, enjoy our families, and stop spending money over the Thanksgiving weekend?

I’m traveling, today. Rather than respond to a slew of email messages, let me give you some career advice based on a few notes in my inbox.

If you haven’t been able to find a job in two years within your field, the universe is sending you a message. You are no longer part of that field. It’s time to broaden your search. You should have expanded it six months ago, but I don’t want to judge you.

Look for something else. Now.

And no — going back for your MBA will not help. Don’t listen to your stupid brother-in-law who works in finance. He’s an idiot.

That is all.

I’m hosting an event, today, where recruiting professionals will learn how to use new media tools to hire people in better, faster, and more efficient ways.

That’s the goal, anyway.

You don’t even realize how much work it takes for me to stand in front of people and talk. Executive leaders like Jack Welch have coaches and corporate communication teams to make them look great. I have a mirror, a flip camera, and a prescription for Xanax.

Thankfully, my role on Monday is to help keep shit moving in the right direction. I’m a ringleader. The real stars are those who are presenting. Any quick tips for me — or the other moderators and panelists — on how to be better public speakers? Have you done anything to improve your skills? Has it paid off in your career?

Let me know. I’ll be checking comments all day long, yo.

Wanted to give props to these awesome websites. The Minimum Rage, Unemploymentality, My Performance Review Sucked!

Go there now!

I’m in New York City until Tuesday.

Dammit, this town always kicks my butt. I arrived here with money in my pockets — but I will probably leave broke, exhausted, and ten pounds heavier.

What is it about New York City that encourages people to make bad choices? Is it just me?

If you’re in town on Monday, come and see me at the Social Recruiting Summit. I’ll be the one with a hangover.

We’re on a weird coworker theme, this week.

This note is from Natasha.

I started a new job. I love the new job. Great company culture. Open, forward thinking. I dig it.  However…there is one small oddity.  I am located in a small area (resembling a large closet) that houses three cubes. Two cubes are occupied (me in one and a guy in the one beside me). The other is empty.

This dude is on the phone ALL day…and I do not think it is work related. Wouldn’t bother me…but the fellah also has a webcam video screen up as well (he isn’t being video’d, he is watching it).  I haven’t looked too terribly close at what is on it, but one day…it looked like someone sitting down with no pants, and another day…a young, dark haired woman staring longingly at the camera.  Now I am all about leaving people alone if they get their job done, but sitting next to him is starting to creep me out.  I mean, he talks in this low voice all day…and it just gets oogier all the time. Suggestions? Comments?

Natasha, I think this guy is watching his family. Lots of people do it. The person with no pants? Could be his kid. The woman staring longingly into the camera? Could be a wife. Maybe a daughter.

Sure, this guy might be pervy. He might be getting in the way of you doing a better job. Why don’t you spend more time in his cube and report back to us? Forget your day job. Don’t worry about projects, timelines, and corporate expectations. If he’s skeevy, we want to be the first to know about it.

I was about to tell you that I never cry at work — but I would be lying, yo.

The first time I remember crying at work was 1991. I was just a kid and I worked at Here’s Hollywood Video in Palatine, IL. I overheard an assistant manager call me Sinead behind my back. I later confronted the chump. He was thirty, divorced, and going places in his career.

Even then, I was assessing talent.

So I asked, “Did you call me Sinead?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Everyone calls you Sinead.”

I said, “Not to my face, they don’t.”

He said, “Of course not. But you do have a shaved head.”

He turned and walked away. Conversation was over.

• I cried because some loser thought he could be witty and clever at my expense.
• I cried because I thought he didn’t like me and I’ve always had a sad, pathetic desire to be liked.
• I cried because this guy drove a busted-up Iroc-Z, for chrissake. Google it, kids. That’s a sad car — and it’s even sadder when it’s held together by bungee cords.

I also cried because that job sucked. Hard.

How about you? When was the first time you cried at work? When was the last time? Why?