Like I mentioned a few days ago, I normally put up a post of rumored celebs from previous seasons because it seems that it often takes a season or two before a rumored celebrity actually makes it on to the show. You just never know when a past rumor is going to come true. So, here are some past rumors – plausible or otherwise.

Probably one of the scariest rumors ever, in my view, is LaToya Jackson. She’s still out there, and I bet she’s still an option. I think she was a lock prior to Michael’s death – I think she came right out and said that they had offered but it was too soon after Michael’s death at that point.

How about Dominique Moceanu and Vera Wang?? Any gymnastics fans have a clue? As for Vera, she was in the audience several times last season, but it’s pretty well known that she’s a friend of Evan Lysacek’s, so that could be the explanation.

Back in April, there was a rumor going around about Rachel Uchitel, but I think that ship has sailed. She was never famous (at least in a good way) and what little infamy she had is likely pretty well gone. I don’t think we have to worry about her. For that same reason, I’ve never dedicated a rumor post to Oksana Grigorieva (part of the Mel Gibson train wreck) – I just don’t think (hope?) those rumors are credible. Someone back me up here.

In early May there were a few interesting ones, plausible and not, such at Tony Blair, Lee Meriwhether and Morgan Fairchild - I see the last two as plausible, but Tony Blair??? Ummm…I dunno.

A couple other ones, such as Danny Gokey and Kurt Angle, are probably still plausible even though the rumors are more than a year old.

Well, that’s as far back as I went for today. I’ll see if there’s enough info for a part 2.

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UPDATE – This is why I always couch everything as a rumor or as a possible joke. Because DWTS is a Pop Culture phenomenon along with American Idol. So, when ex-football players have a few drinks or are being just plain silly and are asked what they’re up to, they say “Dancing with the Stars”, of course. And when people need attention, desperately, they tell other people the are going to be…wait for it…on Dancing with the Stars.

Don’t get me wrong – I think it’s HILARIOUS. Why? Because I’m pretty careful with how I word things…but others aren’t.

What am I talking about? Well, if you haven’t heard by now, Troy Aikman was joking. Supposedly. Either joking or the producers told him to shut the hell up. Who knows? Who cares? I just love the DRAMA. Also, quite a lot of chatter on twitter implying that Theresa was giving a false impression and that DWTS never asked her to be on the show. Well, that’s happened before, so no surprise there. But need I say – just because someone on Twitter says it’s true doesn’t make it…true. Who knows if it is or not? I guess we’ll find out in a couple weeks.

At the end of the day, I’m just as hesitant to believe someone when they say the AREN’T going to be on the show, as I am when they say the ARE. I can be very annoying like that – ask my Derek fan friends.

Random Internet Quote: “Wait, Troy Aikman is too good to be on DWTS, but he’ll film a Rent-A-Center Commercial with Hulk Hogan?

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Per TMZ, Troy is signed up for Season 11 of DWTS. But even TMZ isn’t sure if he’s being serious or facetious. And neither am I.

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Wow…can’t say that I really expected these costume posts to become as popular as they have! I was pleased as punch earlier today when I did a search for “Who Wore It Better?” and found many sites (even ones not related to DWTS!) linking to our posts.  Glad to see everyone’s having as much fun playing fashion critic as we are  

Now I only have one concern: how long is it going to be before other not-to-be-named DWTS fan sites (that are notorious for posting content very similar to ours, ahem) start “borrowing” our pictures and commenting on them the same way we have? Hmmm…well just remember, kids: you saw it here FIRST

Battle of the two-piece black vinyl paso dress: Anna in the pro dance to Def Leppard in season 6 vs. Lacey in the pro dance to Kevin Rudolf in season 8

Courtney: Eh…I’m having a hard time with this one.  I think it physically looks better on Anna, but she doesn’t have the personality to carry off the whole rocker persona; I think Lacey has the right attitude, but it just doesn’t look as flattering on her.  I have the hardest time when the girls go barefoot to do Latin – the movement just doesn’t seem as dramatic & crisp, and I feel like it makes their legs look short.  So I guess I’m going with Anna on this one.

Heidi: Well, I’m with Anna too, but it’s purely a personal preference for her as a dancer. I also don’t like the barefoot ballroom deal – I think of ballroom almost always elegant (even the raunchy latin) than the contemporary stuff that the bare feet bring to mind. Personal preference, although I give Lacey props for this particular dance.

The winner: Anna, by a high heel. 

 Battle of the white, heavily-stone ballgown with matching choker: Melissa’s Viennese waltz with Tony in season 8 vs. Anna’s waltz with Jonathan to Norah Jones in season 9

Heidi: Best couple dancing on the show, bar none, goes to Anna and Jonathan when waltzing. Makes me all schmoopy – and that’s so not me. ;-)  Don’t like the sleeve things on Melissa – the simpler look from Anna is cleaner and prettier. Not to mention the look on her face.

Courtney: You know I love Anna to bloody bits, so this one is no-contest for me I think wardrobe was wise to eighty-six those weird sleeves from when Melissa wore the dress, and replace it with one simple drape across the front.  And Melissa, please, don’t slouch – everything looks better when you stand up straight! Wow…I just love that picture of Jonathan & Anna.  *sigh* They are just a dream to watch.  BEAUTIFUL.

Heidi: It’s so funny that you said that about Melissa. I really like Melissa now that her fans aren’t being nasty all over the DWTS message boards, but my first thought on seeing that picture was “straighten up, girly!”

The winner: Anna, by a husband.

 Battle of the black & tan, two-tone fringe Latin dress: Shawn’s cha-cha with Mark in season 8 vs. Anna in the ladies’ pro dance opener in season 9

Courtney: I’m probably going to incite a firestorm of debate with this one, but…I actually like the dress better on Anna than Shawn. *hides face in fear* Shawn is adorable, don’t get me wrong – but I feel like the overall fit of the dress is better on statuesque Anna, while it seems to really shorten Shawn’s torso and hits her hips at an odd angle.  And as I’ve said before, I’m not a fan of the over-styled, severely bump-itized hairdos…I much prefer a more loose, carefree hairstyle, so I’m sorry, but I have to give this one to Anna.

Heidi: Oh you’re fine. And you won’t get any argument from me. ;-) What the problem is, I think, is that the black/tan border hits Shawn in the wrong spot – she is so short that the dress almost works against her, shortens her frame more, whereas Anna has such a long torso that it just seems to wear better on her.

Courtney: Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head with that one.  It just seems like everyone thinks Shawn is just so adorable in everything she wears…and while Shawn is cute, I don’t think this dress was particularly flattering on her. 

The winner: Anna by a long torso.

Battle of the yellow-fringed, cut-out Latin dress: Jennie’s samba with Derek in season 5 vs. Kym in the pro dance to Robin Thicke in season 8 vs. Ashly & Cheryl in the pro dance to the Beach Boys in season 10

Heidi: Ashly has this weird drape of fabric right across her waist – what is up with that?? It looks horrible like that!! Jennie looks ghostly in it, so I think it comes down to Cheryl and Kym.  I like it on both of them, but I think Cheryl has the edge due to the darker hair and the darker skin.

Courtney: Talk about a dress that’s been around the block a few times-er, seasons! Yellow seems to make Jenny look a little jaundice, so she’s out; the cut of the dress seems a bit odd on Kym, so she’s out too – honestly, I think it’s nary impossible for blondes to wear yellow without looking pale, so poor Jennie & Kym were already at a bit of a disadvantage.  That leaves Ashly & Cheryl, who got a bonus drape of fabric added to distract us from the fact that we’ve already seen this dress twice before, hehe.  Now while I think both carry off the color quite well, yellow just doesn’t seem to strike me as a color that Ashly has a lot of in her wardrobe…so I’m going to go with Cheryl.  Cheryl has the personality to carry off yellow

The winner: Cheryl!! We found a dress for her!

Battle of the white & blue, two-piece fringe Latin dress: Brooke’s jive with Derek in season 7 vs. Denise’s preseason photo shoot in season 8

Courtney: Blech…two ladies whose personalities I don’t particularly care for, in a dress that I don’t particularly care for.  Do I really have to pick one? Ugh, fine…Brooke, I guess.  The color at least looks good with her hair and skin.  Denise looks washed out.  But at least they got rid of those suspender-like drapes for Denise and replaced it with a single, well-placed drape.  Ok, that’s it…nothing else better to say.

Heidi: I have to go with Brooke even though they had those two vertical drapes which were just plain weird.  You’re right, it looks better with her hair and skin than it does on Denise.

The winner: Brooke, in spite of the suspenders

Battle of the red-fringed ballgown with draping sleeve: Julianne’s quickstep with Cody in season 7 vs. Nancy’s would-be preseason photo shoot with Tony in season 8 vs. Ashly’s preseason photo shoot with Buzz in season 10

Heidi: Hmmmm….I don’t think I can see enough of the dress on Nancy, and poor Ashly seems to have a baby bump in her picture, so I go with the Hough of the bunch, despite being bitter about Footloose to this day.

Courtney: Ironically enough, I think Nancy actually wore this one the best – even though she never actually danced on the show! Haha.  Love her hair and how the pose she’s in really lets the fabric & fringe drape beautifully.  It’s ok on Julianne – red just doesn’t seem to be the best color on her.  As for Ashly, the color is nice – but the cut of the dress, coupled with the pose, just really isn’t flattering on her.  It kinda stinks, but I feel like wardrobe has really “mommy-ized” her since her return to the show – poor girl has a great body and is only in her 20s, yet this season they seemed to put her in dresses better suited to a much older woman.  Bring back the old Ashly costumes, PLEASE!

The winner: Tie between Jules & Nancy – because they don’t look pregnant

Battle of the red-bodice, black-lace overlay tango dress: Kelly, Joanna, & Kym in the group tango in season 9 vs. Kathy’s tango with Tony in the season 9 finale

Courtney: It was a little surprising to me that they dittoed a dress in the same season it was originally worn, but I guess maybe they just didn’t have time to make Kathy a new costume just for the finale.  And maybe that’s why she seems a bit awkward in it, too.  Kelly & Joanna look nice in this dress, but I think Kym’s hair and makeup and overall expression really work this dress the best.

Heidi: Yeah, I’m with you – Kym has the right expression for the dance AND the dress, I think. Joanna suffers from having the weird rumba hair left over from earlier in the evening and Kelly looks fish-facey.  Kathy looks amazing too though…but I’m going with Kym.

The winner: Kym, by a fierce face

  Want more? Be sure to check out parts I, II, & III to relive the magic of our first three installments, and we’ll be back again next week with a fresh batch of dittoed costumes

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One of the “Real Housewives of New Jersey?” Really? Okay – she’s an author too, and I got hungry looking at her web page. Theresa Guidice —> Web Site and Twitter

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I THINK this is a joke on Heather’s part, seeing as how she’s a comedian and all, but in the category of “You Just Never Know” I’m putting it out there. Here’s Heather’s website – those of you who watch Chelsea Lately will probably recognize her. That’s where I’ve seen her.

Her Twitter says:

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Almost overnight, there has been a sudden surge in net “campaigns” to get certain celebs cast on season 11 of DWTS.  Fans of everyone from Johnny Weir to Martha Byrne to Antonio Sabato Jr. have taken to Facebook, Twitter, and various message boards & fan sites (including this one) in hopes of gaining support for their cause and catching the eye of the DWTS casting directors. 

Now while I definitely admire the enthusiasm & determination of some of the individuals behind these campaigns, I have to admit – some of them aren’t necessarily going about it the right way.  Now while I don’t consider myself an expert by any means on how to get your favorite celeb cast on a reality show (DWTS or otherwise), I do think there’s a certain strategy to it…a strategy I will outline below, which I call “The Do’s & Don’ts of Campaigning for DWTS”.

 But first and foremost, I feel as though I must share this:

 I DON’T THINK CAMPAIGNING REALLY WORKS FOR DWTS.

 Why? One, it has yet to work thus far; two, with DWTS getting its highest ratings yet this past season, the casting directors can afford to be picky and choosy about who they invite to do the show…meaning that lesser-known celebs (who had a better chance of being on one of the earlier seasons – and are more likely to be the ones having to campaign to get on this season) are less likely to be on the producers’ radar as part of a casting “wish list”.  Why would the “powers that be” go after little-known or washed-up actors, singers, athletes, and models when they can command big names like Donny Osmond, Susan Lucci, and Cloris Leachman? It’s also a matter of supply & demand: the less “available” a star appears to be due to a booming career, the more viewers will tune in to watch them, and the more “in demand” they will be.  In contrast, a star who hasn’t really done anything or seems to have been forgotten after years of inactivity will not pull as many viewers, and desperate campaigning will only reinforce their “availability”…making them less in demand.

That said, if I truly believed that campaigning worked for this show (and who knows, this season it actually might!), here’s some do’s and don’ts I would follow. 

 DO: Make sure your celeb actually wants to do the show.  Kind of a no-brainer – why toil away to try and get a celeb on the show, only to have them turn it down if they’re offered the chance? This is what unfortunately happened with the campaign to get Betty White on the show – a really strong, well-organized campaign was created, but it only lasted a few weeks before Betty publicly said that she wasn’t interested in doing the show.  This is one area where I give the folks campaigning for Johnny & Antonio props – those celebs are behind them 110%.

 DO: Do your homework about your celeb.  Find out everything you can about their career, personal life, hobbies, etc.  You never know what info could help you with your promotion of them.  You also want to know any of the less “savory” details of your celeb’s past (i.e. criminal records, known drug use, sex tapes – generally anything that would be considered “bad publicity”) so that you can come up with a strategy for downplaying them should these indiscretions be brought up as grounds for not having them on the show.

 DON’T: Get caught not knowing crucial details about your celeb. You need to be able to convince people that they’re worthy of being on the show.  If you can’t be bothered to actually care enough to know the details of their life & career, why should anyone else?

 DO: Come up with specific examples of why your celeb should be on the show.  What are they known for? Have they won any awards for it?  The latter is especially important – the show announces every celeb with a “tagline” (i.e. “Emmy award-winning soap actress Susan Lucci!” “Olympic Gold Medalist Evan Lysacek!” “Oscar winner Cloris Leachman!” “NFL Hall-of-Famer Michael Irvin!”), and the ones that make the biggest impression are the ones that have been recognized for their achievement in their particular area of expertise.  The producers LOVE a good, important-sounding tagline – it reinforces a particular celeb’s notability.  Not an award-winner? Mention anything notable they’ve been involved with.  Did they pose in Playboy? Are they a billionaire entrepreneur? Have they held some sort of prestigious public office? Mention that.  The producers of the show are concerned with ratings; you need to tell them how this particular celeb will bring in viewers – and awards and achievements are all concrete examples of this.

 DON’T: Be vague or weak in your arguments for why your celeb is notable. “So-and-so is a really good actor/singer/athlete/etc.” is wishy-washy and a matter of opinion.  So is “so-and-so is a really good person/has a great personality”.  Unless you can support any of these with awards won or evidence of charity work or cite specific examples of their “great personality” from interviews, none are valid arguments and are purely subjective. This is just like a high school research paper – you need to back up your statements with facts and examples, or else you really have no argument at all.   

 DO: Favorably mention previous celebs who have done the show that are similar to your celeb.  By comparing your celeb to one who has done the show in the past, you can demonstrate that there is a niche to be filled by your celeb on the show.  Are they a soap actor? Mention the popularity of contestants like Susan Lucci, Cameron Mathison, and Kelly Monaco.  Show people that your celeb would fit in on the show.

DON’T: Diss ANYONE involved with the show. It’s quite possibly the WORST thing you can do to garner support for your celeb. You’re sucking up to the producers – if you’re dissing any of the pros, hosts, judges, or previous contestants, it’s like telling them they’ve screwed up in creating the show…and now they’re ignoring whatever else you were going to say, even if it was insightful, because you’ve inadvertently insulted them.  Oh, and some of the viewers that may have otherwise joined your cause – they’re gone now too, because you have put down their favorite pro/judge/host/former contestant/etc.  And really, if your strongest arguments center around trash talking anyone from the show…then you really have no case to plead.  Focus on positively talking up your own celeb instead.

DO: Get creative.  Ok, Twitter accounts and Facebook pages are pretty much par for the course these days – but there are ways to set yourself apart from the masses of campaigners.  Make those pages really “pop” with good-quality videos & pix of your celeb, create some cute Twibbons or profile pix for supporters to use, or do a fun youtube video about your celeb, a la the Martha Byrne campaigners (really, the whole Martha Byrne campaign is to be lauded – IMO, they’re doing everything right).  Or, better yet, register your own domain name – get[your celeb here]ondwts.com.  This gives you a place where you have the undivided attention of those coming to the site – and odds are, they already might be interested in your cause, if they got to the site in the first place.  It’s a lot more effective than fighting with all of the other rival campaigners duking it out on general DWTS message boards, and you reap the benefits of your site popping up for everyone searching your celeb’s name on the search engines.

 DON’T: Start rattling off conspiracy theories about the show. Again, rather than focusing on the POSITIVE aspects of your own celeb, you’ve resorted to convoluted, rambling suspicions about how the show is biased against this, or plays favorites with that, or how the show is rigged, yadda yadda yadda…you get the idea.  Now everyone is looking at you like the proverbial crazy lady with the tinfoil hat who’s warning the neighbors about the upcoming alien invasion.  You just come across as crazy & irrational, and people don’t put stock in either of those qualities.  When in doubt, Occam’s Razor: the simplest explanation is usually the correct one – so complex conspiracy theories are rather pointless, anyway. Don’t get wrapped up in them

 DO: Proofread your work.  This may seem silly to some of you, but be honest: are you going pay more attention to a well-written, logical, coherent piece of campaign writing, or the one littered with grammar & spelling mistakes, obscenities, and punctuation overkill? The former makes you sound intelligent and considerate enough to make your work as easy as possible for viewers to read; the latter makes you sound immature and lazy, and will quickly make anyone attempting to read it lose interest in your message.  It’s a quick fix, mmmkay?

DON’T: Spam everyone involved with the show via Twitter, Facebook, fan sites, message boards, etc. This just serves to annoy them and will likely result in you getting blocked.  Johnny Weir fans, take heed: the pros, hosts, and judges have no input in what celebs get cast each season, so there’s really no point in relentlessly spamming Chelsie, Mark, Derek, Maks, Tony, Julianne, Tom, Carrie-Ann, Randall the costume designer, Joe Schmoe in craft services, Jimmy the cameraman, Kathy in ABC’s publicity department, etc. on Twitter, begging them to put Johnny on season 11.  If anything, this may actually deter the producers from casting a particular celeb due to a perceived unfair advantage.  And really, just don’t spam PERIOD – it annoys everyone.  A few well-worded tweets or wall posts are far more effective than a thousand repetitive ones. 

 DO: Work smarter, not harder. Now I really have to give Heidi credit for coming up with this one while she was proofreading this post for me (see kids? Even I proofread my work! ).  Rather than the pointless & misguided spamming of everyone and their brother mentioned above, focus your efforts on those that actually share your interest to begin with – fans of that celeb.  See who’s mentioning [insert celeb here] in their tweets – follow them.  If they see you’re into [insert celeb here] as well, they will likely follow back…and then they’ll see all the stuff you’re tweeting about the campaign in their feed.  Better yet, see who’s following [insert celeb here], and follow them too – they’re going to be the ones who are most likely to help support the cause.  You can even set up your tweet deck (or whatever Twitter program you use) to search for any mention of that celeb’s name out in the Twitterverse, which can also lead you to potential supporters.  Really kids, it’s not all about quantity of tweets in this case…it’s about the quality.

So there you have it – the Courtney strategy for getting your celeb on DWTS.  Will it work? Probably not, but it may at least stop some of the campaigning madness that we’ve witnessed here  

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Ahhh…less than a month until the cast announcement (most likely). This is when it starts to get a bit fun, and tiring. We have campaigns out the wazoo, random (and possibly baseless) rumors, and comments that make you go whut? This is also the time of year that I do a rumor round up. Well, guess what? The producers are on to people like me – and have pretty successfully clamped down on the loose celebrity lips that marked DWTS two seasons ago. So, more than anything, we have people begging to be on the show and not many real rumors. I do have a really random, based on absolutely nothing rumor – and that is Kurt Warner. A couple people on twitter asked him if he was doing DWTS this season; he didn’t answer and I couldn’t find any reason as to WHY they would be asking him such a thing – so it’s likely nothing. Isn’t he still playing football?? Maybe they are being mean to him and I didn’t get it. I’m much too lazy (it’s, like, 500 degrees here) to research what is likely baseless. At least a couple of the tweets claimed they were “seriously” asking the question.

First things first – I also usually recap rumors from previous seasons, because sometimes it takes a few seasons for something to come true. I’ll do that in a follow-up post, as this one is already kind of long. New rumors for this season, all of which I’ve already written about, are few and far between thus far:

Arianny Celeste – UFC Ring Girl
Xzibit – Rapper. I doubt this one. The offer may have been made, but it doesn’t sound like he’s going to do it.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino – I don’t know if this is a rumor or wishful thinking…but remember I said the same thing about Kate Gosselin.
Landon Donovan – US Soccer team. This is another one that keeps popping up.
Chris Jericho – WWE Wrestler and host of the show Downfall (an ABC show, which bodes well for him in the future).

The campaigns for this season are numerous and, in some cases, extraordinarily annoying. Lay off the Twitter, Johnny Weir fans, PLEASE. Most of you campaigners should take notes from the Martha Byrne fans, although they could lighten up a bit on the twitter too. Here’s a break down of the campaigns I know about:

Nancy Lee Grahn – actress (General Hospital)
Leslie Jordan – he’s been working on this since before Season 10; he’s started a Facebook Campaign Page.
Greg Louganis – still has a minor campaign going. Greg was driving his campaign last season, don’t know if he still is.
Antonio Sabato Jr – relatively new campaign, with relatively annoying fans. Antonio is on board with this one.
Tenley Molzahn (The Bachelor) has a little campaign that fans started for her, but she’ll be quite happy if they succeed.
Pete Wentz?!?! Could he really want this? Well, his fans have started a petition.
Shelley Martinez – female wrestler who has been campaigning for a good bit and is still going strong.
Martha Byrne – soap actress. This is the strong, non-annoying campaign.
Johnny Weir – Olympic Ice Skater, with Karina Smirnoff in his corner. I kid you not a few of his fans were tweeting THE SAME THING several hundred times a day, before they realized they were bugging the ever living hell out of a good number of people.  I’m not even exaggerating in the slightest. I actually feel sorry for ABC’s various twitter accounts because I guarantee they saw nothing but Johnny for days on end. NOT HELPFUL.
Bern Nadette Stanis – Thelma from Good Times
Melissa Peterman – actress (Reba). Melissa has a few fans who have been tweeting ABC; nothing on the level of Johnny Weir or Martha Byrne.
Amy Schmolt – Model (True Beauty). Amy was on a show I hate with the passion of a thousand burning suns. It’s just bad. She tweeted this earlier today:

Tune in later this week, when I recap rumors from previous seasons that could still happen. Sig Hansen, for one.

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The rumor about Nastia has been floating around for a few seasons now. This time it’s Nastia doing the talking, to Access Hollywood:

In related Nastia news, the gymnast said she hasn’t decided yet whether she’s going to compete in the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, but if “Dancing with the Stars” came around, she might be interested in that opportunity.

“It’s a great show and I think it’s fun to be able to go outside of your element and do something that you have no idea what you’re doing,” she laughed. “A lot of people think the Olympians have an advantage with ‘Dancing with the Stars’ and I think that the only advantage that they have is to be able perform in front of a live audience.

“Everything else is so out of your element,” she continued. “I’ve never taken a dance class in my life.”

Sounds like she’s already trying to fight the ringer label.

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As promised, here is your third weekly installment of our continuing analysis of reused costumes on the show. While the first 2 editions dealt solely with costumes reused in season 10, this one is a mixed bag of dresses going as far back as season 5 – proof that if the folks at Randall are reeeeally having a hard time selling a costume to the public, some lucky/unlucky pro or celeb may get the privilege/punishment of having to wear it a second (or sometimes third!) time. Read and discuss!

Oh, and P.S. – we’re trying hard to do a guys’ edition of Who Wore it Better, but it’s proving to be really, really hard…so if you know of any dittos, please let us know, and please at least look up pictures or find them on youtube to ensure they are, in fact, the same costume – some of the ones that have been brought up to me are really just similar (but not identical) pieces.  ;-)

Battle of the black, silver-spangled Latin dress: Melissa’s cha-cha with Tony in season 8 vs. Kym in the ladies’ pro dance opener in season 9
Courtney: As an aside, I really didn’t care for that opening dance that the season 9 pro ladies did – it felt a little low-energy and kinda like it was just thrown together at the last minute to fill space (lord knows why). That probably explains why Kym just doesn’t look quite as “finished” in it as Melissa does – love the fedora and jewelry that really ties it together on her. Both gorgeous ladies with fabulous bodies – but I’m giving it to Melissa for having a little bit of extra “oomph”.
Heidi: Boy, this is a tough one! I do agree about the ladies pro dance – very messy, disjointed. As for the dress…not sure how I feel about the fedora on Melissa – it almost feels like overkill, what with the choker and the bracelets and the earings AND the hat. Who was the famous actress that said she always took one thing off before she left the house? This could have been done here to better effect. She needs to lose something from the head/neck area. That said, Kym is the opposite extreme – too minimalist. And really, those pro dances are the opening numbers so there’s really no excuse for it except maybe laziness.
The winner: Melissa, by a choker.

Battle of the short, red, fringed, Latin dress w/matching belt: Karina in the Michael Jackson tribute in season 9 vs. Julianne’s cha-cha with Helio in season 5
Heidi: Again, two beautiful girls who can wear just about anything. If I have to pick I have to go with Karina because of how well she can wear red. Jules wears it well too, but it looks better on Karina. Have to agree with Courtney, below, also – Jules’ hair is too severe.
Courtney: Now as adorable as Jules tends to look in pretty much anything she wears, I think I actually like this one better on Karina – it could be the lighting, but I think the red looks better against her skin than it does Julianne’s, who looks a bit more washed-out. Also prefer Karina’s loose curls to Julianne’s bump-it updo. I hate those damn things!!!
The winner: Karina, by the skin of her…skin.

Battle of multi-colored, neon-fringed Latin dress: Jewel’s would-be preseason photo shoot with Dmitry in season 8 vs. Misty’s mambo with Maks in season 7
Courtney: Ok, I’m putting it out there – this dress is cursed and should probably be burned due to bad karma. Misty donned it for a mambo; two weeks later she withdrew with a devastating Achilles’ tendon injury. Jewel wore it for her promo photo shoot; not long after she was sidelined with 2 fractured tibias and had to be replaced with Holly Madison. And really, this dress is just tacky with a capital T. I loathe neon – especially multiple shades of it on the same dress – and I particularly loathe it when it’s fringe. Blech. Nobody wins in this one!
Heidi: Have you noticed that Maks has a fondness for multicolored, bright, tacky dresses? It’s weird, because then he puts Joanna in a classy beautiful dress – which I’m going to credit to Derek since the design is done early in the week and Maks has a bad track record. But yes, this is one nasty dress and they seem to pair it with bad hair and OTT jewelery.
The winner: Do you see any winners here? I sure don’t.

Battle of the two-piece, tri-color ruffled & feathered Latin dress: Joanna’s preseason photo shoot with Derek in season 9 vs. one of the dancers in the Tiempo Libre performance in season 9 vs. Kym’s samba with Warren in season 7
Heidi: Okay, I’ve decided that I don’t like multicolored dresses. Too, too much. But like every other possible article of clothing, Joanna can pull it off. Partly confidence, partly issues with her competitors, like Courtney says below.
Courtney: Poor Kym & unidentified Tiempo Libre performer – it’s really hard to hold a candle to Joanna in, well, pretty much any costume. And I daresay she rocks what would be an otherwise rather awkward dress pretty damn well – having a fab figure and a great spray tan doesn’t hurt, either. Kym looks a little pasty in the sunset color scheme; the costume just looks kinda loose on the brunette from Tiempo Libre.
The winner: Joanna, by default.

Battle of the silver-fringed, super-sparkly, cut-out Latin dress: Mya’s preseason photo shoot with Dmitry in season 9 vs. Lil Kim’s cha-cha with Derek in season 8
Courtney: Ok, observation: the lighting in the pre-season shoots never seems to do justice to some of these dresses the way the lights of the dance floor do. This is no exception – the dress just glows on Kim, while it barely reflects any light on Mya. Plus Mya’s pose just looks awkward to me – really kinda surprised they picked that one as her best shot. The dress seems to be wearing Mya, rather than the other way around. Kim DOMINATES this dress!
Heidi: Kim dominates everything. It’s all about confidence and attitude and Kim has plenty of both!! Both dresses were used early on too, so that’s not a reason. It’s weird too, because Mya was a trained dancer – I would expect a more confident stance from her even that early.
The winner: Kim by a ‘tude.

Battle of the blue-fringed & stoned Latin dress: Shawn’s samba with Mark in season 8 vs. Natalie’s preseason photo shoot in season 9
Heidi: Not a fan of this dress, really. I think it looks better on Shawn but only because she’s moving. Hate her hair and think they went overboard on the make up though. Natalie is fine in it and she has a beautiful smile. But I have to give it up to Shawn.
Courtney: Another instance where photo shoot lighting doesn’t do a girl any favors, and neither does standing still – this dress doesn’t look nearly as impressive on Natalie as it does on Shawn. I wouldn’t say it necessarily looks BAD on her, but it’s just kinda…blah.
The winner: Shawn, for not being a statue.

Battle of the long, dark blue, corseted paso dress: Brooke, Kym, & Cheryl in the team paso doble in season 7 vs. Kelly’s preseason photo shoot with Louis in season 9
Courtney: 4 very different ladies, one dress. Poor Cheryl – everything costume they made her wear in season 7 just seemed to look mediocre, and unfortunately this is no exception. I think what bothers me about Brooke wearing it is her expression – it’s supposed to be aggressive, but to me it looks more confused…so she’s out, too. Kym looks decent in it, but I really love Kelly in this one – the dramatic feel of the dress seems to suit her personality well, and looks good with her coloring.
Heidi: Love, love, LOVE this dress. It’s probably one of my favorites ever on the show. Love the color, love the corset, love the flowy skirt. Love. As for who wears it best? Well, not Cheryl, for reasons stated. She doesn’t look horrible in it, she just doesn’t hold up as well as her competitors. The thing I remember about this dress is Kym’s fierce face during the dance with Warren, and how beautifully they all pulled this dance off. I think the dress brought out the right attitude in all the women. Kelly? Yeah, I love it on her too. If I have to pick a winner, I’ll go with a tie between Brooke and Kym, mainly because of my fond memories of that dress.
The winner: Kelly, because Heidi can’t pick just one.

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