Purelyamuse

As One Does

2015-05-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

As One Does
"You keep giving me excuses and lashing out at me, but you know what? Not once have you said, 'Edward, this could never work because I don't even like you.' Which means," he leans in conspiratorially, "that you do. Like me." As One Does was a one shot entry in the May to December Contest. Now it's expanded!

So . . . I entered the anonymous May to December Romance Contest hosted by CarrieZM and Nicffwhisperer, and I won some stuff. Hooray! I'm so thankful to everyone who read and voted. And I'm so glad this contest was pimped on Twitter because it's not a topic I would've tried on my own, but it seems to have worked out. So much so, that I expanded it. If you liked the original, here's more, and if you haven't read the original, just start here! Enjoy!

Twilight 25: Round 9

2014-11-29T15:39:00.000-08:00

I've finished the Twilight 25: Round 9 prompts. In addition to the word prompts provided by the contest, I used a few picture prompts to inspire me. I posted them on fanfiction, but since you can't have links, I figured I'd post them here to make it easier. Enjoy!

Prompts:

01. Ancient

02. Animalistic

03. Banned

04. Complications

05. Covert

06. Crush

07. Desecrate

08. Disheveled

09. Exposed

10. Fabricate

11. Forbidden

Pink Balloon.

12. Forgotten

13. Hunger

14. Innocence

15. Insidious

16. Kingdom

17. Limit

Seriously. Kiss Me.

18. Mist

19. Pristine

20. Serendipity

21. Shattered

22. Treasure

23. Tryst

Dangling Feet.

24. Waffle

Bed Flop.

25. Worthless

Pickup Truck by MaryElizabeth23

2013-08-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

Pickup Truck by MaryElizabeth23
A Teambella23 Fic: Freckled, sunburned, and scraped, our lives are lived barefoot and sandy, rolling under the baking sun and surfing the salty water—young, wild, and brave. Volkswagens, bonfires, and "You call that a pickup truck?" We were born into this, but we won't be like them. We're invincible. We're seventeen. We're smarter than that. What's the worst that can happen?

Pickup Truck is so my kind of fic. Teenagers running a muck, doing stupid things, saying stupid things, hurting each other's feelings, making out in a pickup truck. Oh, and they live on the beach, so there's lots of this happening . . . You're welcome!

I love everything about this fic--writing style, fresh, new characters, changing up older faves (James is a Bella's BFF and a girl, Edward has gray eyes, Bella's a blonde, Charlie, a board shop owner and pothead). Everything, everything, everything is great. Even the plot! I know!

Bella and Edward are best friends. She's never seen him that way. Sure, he's cute and has always been her "fixer," but that's it. She even has an off again, on again boyfriend (Reminington, who I imagine looks like this . . . again, you're welcome). But one drunken birthday night and a accidental flash of boob gets hormones running where they haven't before, and the pair of opposite sex besties end up naked in a . . . pickup truck.

Excerpt from Chapter 1

Then there's the moon, and the stars, and the waves … I'm so drunk.

I lift the hood to my hoodie over my head, tighten the strings tight, and look over at Edward, smiling.

"Nothing but teeth," he says.

I notice he's taken his shirt off. "Nothing but chest!" I laugh. Then I look down at myself: sweater, swimsuit bottoms, flip flops. "Wait," I say. "Are we going swimming?"

He shrugs.

I pull my hoodie off over my head and let it drop to the sand. Only too little too late, I notice that with my sweater went most of my top. My entire left breast is exposed.

I look over at Smirks with wide eyes.

He kisses me.

Somehow we end up in the front seat of my vehicle—foggy windows, elbows and knees, seat belt lodged in my back—the whole stereotypical deal. Thank God for bench seats.

He's smirking again, and it's so pretty, so I show him both of my boobs. He's a boy, so he loves them. We're laughing, and we're touching, and we're so fucking drunk that nothing else matters, not even the consequences.
They play it cool; they're best friends, and accidents happen, right? Of course they do. But what about the worst kind of accident between teenagers--conception. Bella is plagued with thoughts of what the hell she's going to do. What are her options? Does she tell Edward? Does she tell Remington? What does she do with a baby? Now, I've read bad Bella's pregnant fics, and this is not one of them. This fic gets to the heart of things--the struggle a woman goes through when she's pregnant and it wasn't planned. But it's not a heavy storytelling. Maryelizabeth23 does an amazing job of not making judgments and at the same time keeping these deep topics lighthearted through the wit and naive thought process of a kid--a kid that doesn't know anything.

Excerpt from Chapter 5

"I have the results, Bella."

It's like a shot to the heart, literally—I'm pretty sure my heart stops beating. Dying would be much easier than destroying the lives of everyone around me with another positive result. At least if I croak now, I'll be remembered as that cool surfer chick and not the seventeen-year-old teen mom.

I'll go out with a little bit of pride intact.

It would suck because I'd be dead … but my life might be ending, anyway.

Dr. V pushes away from the counter and holds the paper with my result in both hands. "Like I told you before, Bella, you've already taken three—"

I interrupt her. "Can you just tell me what it says, please?"

As it turns out, my heart never stopped beating. Nope. It's very much working, pounding from the inside of my fucking throat.

My lungs on the other hand…

"It's positive, Bela with one L."

Dr. V's crack at a joke wasn't very funny. And I really wish I was one of those people who fainted every time they heard life-altering news. It would be so cool to just check out right now. It would be even better if I woke up with James and Dr. V above me again, only to have Dr. V tell me she was kidding.

"Just kidding," she would say. "You're not pregnant. Your boobs are growing because you're awesome, and you've missed a period because God has decided you're too cool for the agony of a menstrual cycle. I called him," she would say. "I have God on speed dial."

But none of that happens. Dr. V just moves on to the next set of questions. This time they involve every single detail of my life since I last had sex.

I answer them as best I can: "No, I've only had one partner in the last four months. Yeah, he has a girlfriend. No, I don't know if they have sex, but … you know. Yes, I'm sure. One. I've only been with one person. Edward. His name is Edward."

After the rapid-fire questioning is over, Dr. V leans against the wall and sighs. "Going by the information you've given me, Bella, I'd say you're between six and eight weeks pregnant. You're estimated due date is late January. Probably around the twenty-eighth."

I hide my face in my hands. "This isn't happening."
I love this Bella (I imagine she looks like this--a bit edgy but still beautiful.). I love her friends, her family, Edward aka Smirks, her stupid job and Swedish fish, and her skateboarding. I love everything. The only thing I don't love is that it's not finished, but that will happen. I trust this author. She's amazing. Sadly, she does take stories down on occasion, so I've only been able to read two of her multi-chaptered fics. The other is one of my faves, too. I reviewed True Love Way forever ago, and the author pulled it before many of you could read it, but now it's back up. Yay! So go read that one, too.

I promise you will not regret reading Pickup Truck. You will also not regret looking up "Surfer Boys" on WeHeartIt. For serious. I could spend all day on that tag. Yum!

Never Said I Didn't Review

2013-08-14T08:48:00.001-07:00

@Typokween wrote a review of Never Said I Didn't on her blog. And OMG! I can't stop staring at the animated banner she made. No one's ever made anything like this for me before. I'm stunned by it, and I can't stop reading the review. It makes me want to read my own story. It's amazing. Take a gander. Thank you, @Typokween. I'm in awe.

And I've perused her reviews a bit as well. Looks like a great place to get recs (I know I found some.). Her reviews give that extra bit of information you need to decide whether or not a fic is for you. That is always important to me. I never read a story simply based off a summary. It's just not enough for me, so this helps. Check it out.

A to Z Survey

2013-08-13T17:48:00.000-07:00

I saw this survey on Anna Reads and loved it so much I had to fill it out for myself.

Author you’ve read the most books from:
JK Rowling with Sarah Dessen a close second.

Best Sequel Ever:

Through the Ever Night, the sequel to Under the Never Sky, by Veronica Rossi.

Currently Reading:
The Lost Code by Kevin Emerson.

Drink of Choice While Reading:
Water.

E-reader or Physical Book?
iPhone.

Fictional Character You Probably Would Have Actually Dated in High School:
William Carter from Carter Finally Gets It by Brent Crawford. I would have fallen hard for this dork because he's not afraid to be stupid. (Dex is a close second from This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen.)

Glad You Gave This Book A Chance:
Sweethearts by Sara Zarr. This is not my typical cup of tea, and it was a hard book to read, but it was so, so worth it.

Hidden Gem Book:
The Carter series, starting with Carter Finally Gets It by Brent Crawford. This series made me laugh throughout and was so realistic. Plus, I loves me some stupid boy who joins drama and does jazz hands.

Important Moment in your Reading Life:
Reading The Girl Who Owned a City by OT Nelson in the seveth grade and reallizing girls, even my age, can be strong and independent and smart and resourceful. I needed to believe this, and this book did the job and thus changed my life.

Just Finished:
The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater.

Kinds of Books You Won’t Read:
Historical fiction. No thank you.

Longest Book You’ve Read:
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling.

Major book hangover because of:
The List by Siohban Vivian because I wanted more from every character. I loved them all. They were so well developed that any one of them could've been the main voice for the entire book. Also, I can't stop thinking about it. This book sticks, and I think every female should read it.

Number of Bookcases You Own:
Two that are mine. Three more between the kids.

One Book You Have Read Multiple Times:
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling.

Preferred Place To Read:
My big couch under the window or my bed. I always read before I sleep.

Quote that inspires you/gives you all the feels from a book you’ve read:
"Just so you know,” I inform him, “one day, I’m going to get tired of sharing your affection with that coffee table and I’m going to make you choose.” “Just so you know,” he mimics me, “I would chop that table up and use it for firewood before I would ever choose anything over you."
— Katja Millay (The Sea of Tranquility)

Reading Regret:
I've never read Catcher in the Rye, and I'm afraid to, afraid I won't like it.

Series You Started and Need to Finish (all books are out in series):
The Wicked Lovely series by Melissa Marr.

Three of your All-Time Favorite Books:
Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell, The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling.

Unapologetic Fangirl For:
Rainbow Rowell. I love her style of writing, her honesty, and she is fun to chat with on Twitter. :)

Very Excited for This Release More Than All the Others:
Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell with Allegiant by Veronica Roth as a close second.

Worst Bookish Habit:
I slop food on my books. Mostly chocolate.

X Marks The Spot: Start at the top left of your shelf and pick the 27th book:
The Time Travelor's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

Your latest book purchase:
Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo.

ZZZ-snatcher book (last book that kept you up WAY late):
The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay. No regrets!

Never Said I Didn't Around the Web

2013-07-28T22:43:00.000-07:00

Some people talk about my story on the world wide web. Did you know? Well, now you do. And here's where you can see what people are saying . . .

Never Said I Didn't review on Bookish Temptations by @AllthingsHHH.

Never Said I Didn't on The Fictionators (Fictionator Friday).

Never Said I Didn't made the Sexy Six on The Lemonade Stand 6/25-7/1/2013.

Part of Twific Trivia in July
In "Never Said I didn't" by purelyamuse what are the names of Edward's siblings? Katie and Garrett.

And some picture gifts . . .


From Kennedy Nicole Maddock

From Mina Rivera

This was sent by many twitter peeps, saying it reminded them of Never Said I Didn't.

A Flamingo Zebra From @msjaxteller. Ha ha!

From Missy Melissa Cullen and @GeekChic12FF

From Me to You!

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 23

2013-07-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

Chapter 23

“Goodnight, Edward,” Bella says. She runs her hands around my wet shoulders and into my hair, pulling me toward her. Charlie’s eyes are burning a hole in my head. I have to make a quick get away when she’s done in hopes he doesn’t kick my ass.

Her lips are on mine fast and sure, and as much as I want to speed things up, I can’t because as Charlie said, I am a boy, and I like kissing Bella. My arms wrap around her waist, and I give as good as I get, almost forgetting we have an audience. Almost.

Bella slips down the hallway and into her bedroom, and I’m left to fend for myself.

But not for long.

“Go home. Now.” It’s official: Charlie Swan hates me. And I didn’t even deflower his daughter yet. That must be some kind of record.

I don’t even say goodbye. I pass Renee, who’s smirking. She’s such a strange woman, but I have a new respect for her. I can see where Bella gets her toughness from. I arrive home in two point three seconds and release the breath I didn’t know I was holding.

A light flips on when I get into the kitchen.

“Ack!”

“Sorry,” Dad says, chuckling. “You okay? Manhood still intact?”

“Yeah.”

“Charlie was so mad,” he says, trying to hold in his laughter. I’m glad he finds joy in my fear, but this is suspiciously happy for him. I lean in, sniffing. He doesn’t smell like alcohol. Hmm.

“He’s scary as hell.”

“You never saw your grandfather angry. Now he was scary. I avoided him as much as possible. Spent more time going in and out of your mother’s window than I did using the front door.”

“Really?” I grimace. TMI, Dad.

“Not that I condone that,” he says, clearing his throat. “You are safe though, right?”

“Yeah. We were just at the park. We’re fine.”

“No, I mean, you’re being safe? You have condoms or Bella’s on birth control?”

“Oh, blah. Mom just gave me this lecture. It’s not like that. We . . . never mind.”

“You haven’t?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“It’s Bella. I want to . . . I don’t know . . . do it right.”

“You will. You’re a Cullen.” Dad smirks, looking a hell of a lot like Garrett, and walks away. “Night, Edward,” he says as he passes me and heads to his room.

“Weird night,” I mumble to myself as I get out my frozen grapes, hoping they’ll stave off nightmares of Charlie chopping my body into bits and throwing them into some ravine.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 22

2013-07-25T09:38:00.002-07:00

Chapter 22

I’m up, and Jasper hands me the yellow plastic kids’ bat. Bella took the other team, the traitor, and pitches the wiffle ball right at my head. The ref, Alice, is sitting behind me eating a bag of chips, staying dry, laughing.

“You gonna call anything here? A warning? Something?”

“Nah, you deserved it.”

“For what?” I bellow.

She shrugs. “Being pretty?” I can’t believe I’m going to have to spend time with her in college.

I hmph and return my attention to my girl who is cackling at something the first baseman said. It’s some guy I don’t know, wearing a wet, white undershirt that’s clinging to him. I hold the bat between my knees and pull my shirt off. I gotta compete somehow with this tool.

“Nice, dong, Cullen.” Alice. She is so annoying. How anyone in student government ever listened to her is beyond me.

Once she sees the bat’s placement, Bella belly laughs, doubling over, clutching her stomach. Well, she was a good girlfriend before we got here.

I pull the bat from my thighs and point it straight at her. It’s coming to you, Bella, that’s right. I situate myself, and just as she releases the ball, a stream of water hits me right in the crotch. It reaches high around my back and crashes down on my head, soaking me. I swing when I think the ball’s in the right spot and take off to first.

I have no idea where the ball is, but I know I connected. I run like hell. I can’t stop laughing because Bella’s shrieking orders at her lame-ass team, and I’m barreling them down as I round second, then third, sliding as I go as though the ground’s covered in slippery moss.

I head home. A sharp spray hits my face—someone’s aiming one of the toys directly at me to destroy my vision—but I don’t play light ever. I play hard and run through it.

As I reach home, Bella slams into me, taking us both down. She’s on top of me, her front pressed to my back, and everyone is shouting and laughing at us. I turn beneath her, capturing her in a kiss. Her smile’s touching mine when I’m done. She doesn’t even have the ball. “You’re safe. Baseball players are nuts,” Alice says.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 21

2013-07-23T14:32:00.000-07:00

Chapter 21

Later, in my bed with Bella draped over me, she whispers quietly, her voice shaky, “What are we going to do?”

“What do you want to do?” I ask, stroking her arm.

“Well, you missed tryouts. You won’t be eligible for ball until next year. I don’t want you to miss out on anything. But . . .” She gnaws on her lip and catches my eyes. “I want you to come with me.”

I want to say ‘yes, dear’ but can’t because I don’t know if I can go with her. So instead, I say, “I’ll call Northern and see when that mail should be coming. And, I don’t care if I don’t get to play ball. I never wanted it for a career. It’s fun, but it’s not everything. Besides, you’re the better player. You should be the one playing, and it’ll get you hookups for your future career.”

“You’re amazing.”

I’m not sure how to respond to that, so I say, “We’ll figure it out, Bella.”

“I hope so,” she says and snuggles closer, her face hiding against my shoulder. “How did you know about the scholarship?”

“Renee.”

“I wanted to tell you; I just couldn’t.”

I rub her arm and have a hard time coming up with the right words. I’m sad she didn’t think she could tell me. We should be able to tell each other anything, right? I think so. All I come up with to say is, “Why not?”

“Well, I was worried you’d ask me to stay at the U, and I’d say yes.”

“And regret it your whole life?”

“I don’t think I’d regret being with you, but I would wonder what I missed with Carmen. I’ve thought about it a lot.”

“What else have you thought about?” I prop myself up on my elbow beside her and stroke her stomach while she speaks. She shivers at my touch and throws her arms above her head, arching her back. She’s so hot.

“You really want to know?”

“Yes, of course. I know you, and I can usually predict what you’d do in a situation, but I can’t predict what you’d think. Not . . . always . . . and definitely not recently. This, us, has changed you. I think.”

“In a bad way?” She closes her eyes, lets out a shallow breath.

“No, not bad. Just different. Sometimes different is good,” I say, jumping my hand from her stomach to her thigh, and she smiles, keeping her eyes closed. “But sometimes, different means the girl you’ve known your whole life is keeping secrets from you.”

One Day by RueforRegret

2013-07-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

One Day by RueforRegret
Over a quarter of a century separates single-mother Bella Swan from her hormone-riddled adolescence. Watching her teenaged daughter navigate her way through various rites of passage, Bella can't help falling prey to nostalgia. "One Day" brims with steamy reminiscences of first love and traces one woman's mid-life attempt to reclaim it. ExB, AH, mild angst, M-Rated 18 & over.

Remember the last time you stayed up until 3:30 am reading an amazing fic? You don't? Such a shame. I do. It was just the other day when Spanglemaker9 rec'd this WIP on Twitter. I read the summary and was sucked in, and I'm so glad. It's the best thing I've read in ages. It's as good as Starry Eyed Inside and On a Limb and has a similar feel. And Like those stories, this one makes you feel ALL THE THINGS.

Fortysomething-year-old divorcee Bella's daughter is growing up, and she's feeling old, which means it's time to reminisce. So she does. She pops open a box filled with relics from her first relationship, her first love. And thus we are introduced to fifteen-year-old Bella and seventeen-year-old Edward. We get to see their story play out intertwined with present Bella's life. We also get to see present Bella's commentary in her first love and her actions, which is quite comical. Here's a snippet of their first date-ish encounter.

Excerpt from Chapter 3

"You're not the talkative type, huh?" he observed.

"I guess not." I tucked my hair over my ear and gave him a quick sideways glance.

"I think I make you nervous. You know, because you don't really know me. Never talk to strangers, right? Your mom told you that?"

"Maybe."

My cocky persona was falling flat on her face. Edward was seeing right through me. What had I gotten myself into?

"Well, maybe you should ask me some questions. Get to know me. Then I won't be a stranger. Good idea?"

This was a great idea, but the questions forming in my mind were all ridiculous.

How come you're so hot? Is it uncomfortable for guys wearing jeans that tight? Can we make out so I can actually kiss a guy before Alice does?

"Um, okay," I said, dismissing these absurd questions from my mind, afraid one of them might actually pop out of my mouth. Getting-to-know-you questions. Surely I could pull something together. "Well, how old are you?"

Perfect. This was perfect.

"Seventeen," he said, the muscle in his jaw jumping as he worked in the piece of gum.

Seventeen? Holy cow!

"How long have you been seventeen? I mean, are you almost eighteen?"

"June. I turned seventeen in June, so, no, I'm not almost eighteen at all. How about you? How old are you?"

I briefly considered lying, but the answer slipped out before my filter could kick in. "Fifteen."

"Fifteen. Huh." Edward pondered. He nodded and squinted at me out of the corner of his eye. "How long have you been fifteen?"

"Eleven months and one week."

"Well, there you go, then. Almost sixteen, right?"

"September thirteenth," I confirmed, a shy smile creeping to the surface. "Three weeks."

"You look really sweet when you smile like that. I like it."

Bella's daughter, Carlie, spots her swooning over memories and an old photo of Edward. She encourages her mother to contact him, even looks him up on LinkedIn. And of course he looks good.

Excerpt from Chapter 11

I cross my arms and frown. She's got me there. I watch her type, click the mouse, wait, then type some more. I feel incompetent. I have no idea what she's doing.

"Last name?" Carlie says, her eyes flashing up to mine.

"What do you mean?"

"The Edward guy. What was his last name?"

Reluctantly, I move around the dining room table and perch on a chair beside her. "Cullen. His name was Edward Cullen."

Her fingers fly across the keyboard and then she's staring at the screen, waiting. Within five seconds, the screen fills with images and Carlie clicks on something and then angles the laptop towards me.

My heart comes loose of its moorings and crashes around in my chest cavity because just like that, his face is right in front of me—Edward, a shot of him from the waist up dominating a quarter of the screen space. Twenty-eight years have passed, years which have brought creases to his eyes, lines to his forehead, and a touch of gray to the hair at his temples—but at least he still has hair at his temples.

I wonder how quickly I'd be able to move on from this moment if forty-something-year-old Edward were fat and bald. It's a moot point because he's not. Frankly, he looks incredible—ruggedly handsome, whiskery and tanned, his green eyes as devilish as ever. His arms are crossed. I glance at his left hand. He's not wearing a ring.

I'm doomed.

"Is that him?" Carlie says.

I nod. "Yes." My voice escapes as a breathy whisper. "Yes, that's him."

Carlie's phone pings in the other room and she leaps up to retrieve it. "He's pretty hot for an old guy, Mom," she calls back to me over his shoulder.

"He is, isn't he?" I say, more to myself than to her.

Bella reluctantly and excitedly looks him up, and the pair reconnect. YAY!

I can't say enough about this fic. I'm sure you're as drawn in by the writing as I am. RueforRegret has a handle on language. She also has a handle on finding the appropriate voice for each age. And she is funny. Bella's hilarious at any age here, and even though there's drama in her life, it's done so subtly that it doesn't overshadow the story or spin it in a dark direction. It is written much like life. It just is what it is. This story is fantastic. If you skip it, I feel sad for you because it's that good. Go read it. But start early because you won't be able to stop. And leave her lots of love because this gem is very under appreciated. But not by me!

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 20

2013-07-20T15:54:00.000-07:00

Chapter 20

Bella delivers another strike. Her eyes meet mine, and her lips pull up into the tiniest grin.

“I never had a chance,” Jake mumbles, and I laugh.

“I told you she was in love with me.”

“She told you?”

I tuck my hands in my pockets and shrug awkwardly.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I couldn’t get her to say it either.”

“You love her?”

“Sure,” he says, like it’s no big deal. Like, of course he was in love with her. And why wouldn’t he have been? Hell, they hung out essentially all year, and who knows how many dates they went on, how many times he was in her room I didn’t know about.

I wish I could’ve known that I loved her that easily. I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time without Bella. Who knows where we could be by now, or how much more in love we could be? She does love me, right?

Jake narrows his eyes and claps me on the back. “She’ll say it. She does. She’s just being Bella.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because she weighs everything. She doesn’t say things she doesn’t mean. Just like she doesn’t do things she doesn’t mean or regret. I’m sure that’s why she was never really my girlfriend. She just didn’t feel that way. But with you, I see it. Damn. Right here.” He draws his fingers over his eyes and wipes away a pretend tear with a pout.

“Shut up, loser. Watch the game. My girl’s about to win it.”

“Yeah, she is. We love you, Bella!” Jake shouts, and her shoulders shake with laughter before she pulls it together and nails her next pitch.

Strike!

She pumps her fists in front of her chest, and the girls rush her, screaming and cheering.

I holler along with everyone else, until Jake smacks my stomach. “Go get her, idiot. She loves you.”

Dammit, he’s right. I want on that field, and I want her in my arms. I jog down the bleachers and hop the short fence on the side before running to her. She catches my eyes through the crowd and runs toward me, leaping into my arms.

“That was amazing. Did you feel that energy? Omigosh! I’m so high right now I could do anything!” She’s breathless, her cheeks pink, her skin hot and tacky to the touch. She’s so damn sexy.

“You were fantastic out there. You did it!”

“Hell, yeah, she did,” howls a girl behind her, and Bella gets a butt slap from her teammate. Hot.

“I did,” Bella agrees, nodding and laughing, her eyes alight with happiness. I always want to see her this way, always, so I sear it in my memory and seal it with a kiss right there on the field. Even where Charlie can see from his spot in the bleachers. Oh, well.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 19

2013-07-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Chapter 19

“Come on.” She pulls me to her bed and sprawls out beside me, running her hand through my hair. “You can talk about it if you want.”

“What’s there to say?”

“I don’t know. We could just talk about them.”

“Whatever.”

She gives me a stern look but doesn’t chastise me other than that. “Remember when Gran died and I couldn’t leave the house for two weeks?”

“Yes, I missed you so much. And you had already cut your outdoor playing in half once Gran really got sick. That was rough. And you were so sad. I had no idea what to say.”

“You said all the right things.”

“I did?”

“Yeah. You reminded me about all the fun things we did together: how she would make us playdough and those Jell-O popsicles, and how she’d walk us to the park but let us ride a street ahead. I just needed to be reminded that I didn’t miss out on anything. I had all these great memories. And, Edward, you have great memories of your parents. Things will be different now, but they were happy.”

“They were. I miss it. The laughter and silliness. My mom’s constant eye rolling and her way of getting Dad to shut up when he was boring us at the dinner table. ‘Carlisle, pass the—‘”

“’Peas.’ It took me forever to figure that out. There were not always peas on that table. They’re such dorks, if you think about it.”

“No, they had their own language.”

“Yeah, it’s sweet.”

“You are so nice,” I say, pulling her hands from my hair and tucking them into my chest.

“I just care.”

“I know. I’m so glad.” I reach out to stroke her cheek, and she leans toward me, kissing me and collapsing into my shoulder. I wrap her in my arms and squeeze her tight. “Let’s never give up, okay?”

“Deal,” she says, kissing my chest and snuggling against me.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 18

2013-07-10T11:11:00.004-07:00

Chapter 18

She’s just completed the second game of the week, and everyone’s congratulating her. Guys from the other school swarm the field, and I swear they’re all checking her out. It’s disgusting the way their eyes wander her body, how their fingers twitch by their sides like they want to get their hands on her. One guy even adjusted himself when she took off her cap and pulled her hair out of its ponytail. Men are pigs. Jealous pigs.

And I’m one of them.

“I don’t even want them looking at you,” I say later on in her room. She’s not listening, though. She flings her leg over mine and kisses my neck. She tugs at the hem of my shirt, and I pull it up awkwardly since we’re lying on our sides. I nearly hit her with my elbow but apologize quickly.

“It’s okay.” She leans over the top of me, kissing my chest.

“One guy was staring at your ass.”

Bella shoots up and sucks in a dramatic breath. “You should hit him.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, you’re cute jealous.”

“I don’t want to be jealous,” I say, throwing my arm over my face. It’s embarrassing. This is Bella. I know she’ll be faithful. Still, I don’t want jerks leering at her.

“Then don’t be. You don’t have anything to be jealous about.”

My nipple is suddenly cold and hard. I peek out from under my forearm. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing. I don’t talk, I do.”

“Fine.”

I wanna lock you up in my closet when no one's around
I wanna put your hand in my pocket because you're allowed
I wanna drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound
I wanna stay this way forever I'll say it loud

Now you're in, and you can't get out

You make me so hot
Make me wanna drop
It's so ridiculous
I can barely stop
I can hardly breathe
You make me wanna scream
You're so fabulous
You're so good to me baby, baby
You're so good to me baby, baby

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 17

2013-07-10T09:51:00.001-07:00

Chapter 17

“Why is that so sexy when you say that?”

“What?”

“I don’t know. Anything about baseball.”

“Because baseball’s hot. Mmm.” She moans when I lift her off the floor, forcing her to wrap both legs around me. I love this so much.

“These pants are hot,” I say, getting braver and running my right hand over her butt.

“I know.”

“Listen to you. A little conceited there. Am I giving you a big head?”

“No.” She laughs, then sucks on my bottom lip. “One more,” she says and makes it worth our while, sliding her tongue along mine. “I really have to go.”

“Okay. I let her down and take a step back. I turn slightly, bracing my hand on the wall. I’ve got to get my body under control before going out onto the field. These pants are tight.

She sits on the floor beside me, lacing up her cleats and tying them. She stands behind me, fixing her hair. “What I meant . . . about the pants being hot . . .”

“Yeah?” I look over my shoulder at her. Her lips are swollen and pink from my kisses. I did that.

“I’ve been gaping at your ass for years.” She slaps my butt then adds, “Have a good game, Cullen.” Her cleats click down the linoleum hall.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 16

2013-07-06T09:32:00.001-07:00

Chapter 16

I button up a shirt Mom bought me, and my door opens. In walks Katie, Caleb free. Greg must be here already. That’s good.

“Ever thought of knocking?”

“I was hoping to catch some Edward bum. You always had the cutest little bum. I used to hide your towel.”

“This is gross.”

“You were six.” She rolls her eyes.

“Can I help you?” I ask, sitting down on the bed and running my hands through my wet hair. Bella and Charlie will be here for dinner shortly, and I want to look nice, so I shaved and showered.

“What are you gonna do about Charlie?”

“What? How do you?”

“He just left. He was talking to Dad outside his study.”

“Great, so Garrett knows.”

“He was taking a nap in there.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Well, anyway, so what are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know.”

“You need to be a perfect gentleman when you’re around him. Let him see you doing things for Bella.”

“Okay, yeah, good idea.”

Mom passes by, a vase in hand, and stops in the doorway. “Oh, honey, you look so nice in that shirt. I knew it’d bring out your pretty eyes.”

I want to roll my pretty eyes at my mom’s compliment. It’s just so . . . motherly.

“Just be sure not to get caught again,” Katie continues like Mom’s not even there.

“Oh, we talking about you and Bella making out on the Swan couch? Really, Edward, that’s in poor taste.”

“How do you know about this?” I ask, pulling at my hair.

“I’m your mother,” she says, like it’s obvious.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 15

2013-07-04T09:30:00.001-07:00

Chapter 15

“Wanna go to my room?” I ask, but she denies me.

“Your dad’s not an imbecile.”

“Wanna get some toilet paper? The bathrooms are low. It’s all the way out in the garage. I bet it takes us awhile to find it. We could be gone a whole, oh,” I say, glancing at my non-existent watch, “five minutes, I’d say.”

“You’re a dork,” she says.

“You love it, I know.”

“Never said I didn’t. Cookies?”

“Yes, please.”

“Any requests?” She begins rifling through cabinets and gathering the basics: flour, sugar, baking soda.

“Gran’s oatmeal raisin.”

“Okay, on it.”

She gets started, getting all the supplies, and I stand in her way. What else am I going to do? She begins stirring ingredients in a heavy metal bowl on the counter, her right foot pressed against her left knee, like always. Only this time she’s wearing black and white striped socks. She looks like a zebra. A flamingo zebra.

I watch her carefully, enjoying her in my kitchen, making me delicious treats. I taste the dough as she goes. I’m a tasting expert. Gran Swan always told me I was, and she never lied. She even said Bella would someday learn all of her best recipes. That’s turned out to be true; these cookies are on that list.

I clean off my spoon, the sugary goodness dissolving on my tongue. I share my thanks with Bella by brushing her neck with my lips. She leans her head back on my shoulder, exposing her neck. I kiss her there more forcefully, and she grips the countertop. I want to turn her around, lift her up onto it, and press myself against her. But I can’t because my dad is still shuffling pages of the newspaper in the living room.

So I have to get creative. The island is blocking his view of our lower halves, so I aim there. I wrap my hands around her waist, my chin pressed to her shoulder, and she starts on the cookies again, this time mixing in the raisins. As she stirs my hands wander, timidly brushing up and down her ribcage, then following down her tiny waist to her full hips and lower still. I get both hands nearly wrapped around her thighs and squeeze when she lets out a little squeak.

She exhales loudly and brushes her hair back. “What were you saying about toilet paper? You needed some, right?” She pushes me toward the pantry which leads to the garage, and once we’re through the door, I’m pressed against the shelving, being molested. Hell, yes.

She presses her hands to my chest and kisses me, full on the mouth. She’s not playing around one bit. I wrap my hands around her back to pull her close, but she slaps them away.

“Okay, stop touching me. I'm making Gran's cookies, and your dad is, like, right there.” She’s trying to be stern, but it’s not really working because her lips are darker now from kissing, which makes me want to do it again.

“I'm sorry.”

She narrows her eyes and pulls her lips to one side. “You are not.”

“I'm totally not sorry,” I admit.

She turns, but I stop her, pulling her in again. "Where’re you going? Toilet paper takes a long time to . . ." I let my words dissolve when my mouth makes contact with hers again. Damn, she can kiss. I can't believe I've been missing out on this all these years.

She pulls away and presses her fingers to her lips. What is she doing? Checking if they're still there?

“I can't believe this,” she whispers before backing out of the pantry, a warning finger held out in front of her. Yeah, that'll work. “No more touching." I shove my hands in my pockets. She adds, “And put a shirt on"

“I'll put a shirt on if you lose those sexy socks.”

“What? They're stripes. And knee socks are either nerdy or sporty and . . .”

“They've played a huge part in my dreams as of late. That’s all I’m saying.”

Her eyes go wide, and she giggles. "Really?"

“You have amazing legs, Bella.”

She puts her hands on her hips, disbelieving. “Okay, now you're being stupid.”

“Stupid in love.”

“I have to finish these cookies,” she says abruptly and leaves the pantry.

I stay there a few minutes to cool off. It doesn't help because when I exit the door, she’s bent over at the waist putting the cookies in the oven.

More of You by MoZella

So it goes without saying, that I'm hooked on you,
And by now I'm out of mind with this self abuse,
I guess I should have looked out for myself,
I guess that I could have found someone else,
But I never met anyone, who's loving made me so damn crazy,

Everything little thing that you do,
Every single word you say,
Every time you're looking away,
you got begging for more of you, more of you,
Everytime I'm ready to go,
Everytime I think I'm back in control,
Something gets my heart and my soul and I'll be begging for more of you, more of you.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 14

2013-07-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

Chapter 14

A few minutes pass. Bella’s quiet, so I guess they got her calmed down or she’s getting her bat. I smile at the thought, and then my curtain parts and a whirl of brown hair enters my room. She’s in my old JV Cullen jersey, knee socks, and nothing else I can see. She looks just . . . ugh . . . I want my hands on her. Good thing I’m in a hospital. If I have a heart attack everything will be okay.

She takes me in from head to toe, and her eyes narrow, focusing on the gash above my eyebrow.

“They wouldn’t let me call—”

Bella covers her mouth with her finger, shushing me and pointing wildly at the curtain. So she snuck in, I guess.

She walks slowly to the head of the bed, keeping eye contact with me. “Are you okay?” she asks, voice quiet.

“Yeah, are you?”

Bella shakes her head, eyes closed, and a few tears slip down her cheeks. I reach for her hand and lace my fingers with hers. Her eyes open, though she blinks furiously, getting rid of the wetness there. She’s always hated crying.

“Don’t cry,” I say, giving her hand a shake and smiling softly.

“I can’t help it,” she whispers, leaning over me, stroking my brow carefully.

I close my eyes and enjoy the feel of her hand on me. She runs it down my cheek and, to my surprise, kisses me. It’s soft and sensual at the same time, making me want to pull her down into this bed so I can really kiss her properly.

She leaves me dazed, lips puckered, needing more when she pulls away and sits beside me.

Be Alright by Justin Bieber
Through the sorrow, and the fights,
Don't you worry
'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

All alone, in my room
Waiting for your phone call to come soon
And for you, oh, I would walk a thousand miles,
To be in your arms, holding my heart

Oh, I,
Oh, I,
I love you
And everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 13

2013-06-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

Chapter 13

“Go home, Edward.” She walks up her driveway and opens the front door, attempting to close it on me, but I barge inside. Charlie gapes at us from his chair in the living room, soda in hand. I don’t even care that he’s watching this mess unfold.

“You left prom for me, and I blew it. I know that. I made a mistake. Talk to me.”

“I don’t feel like it. I’m tired. I want to go to bed.”

“It’s Saturday. You’re going to shower, put on your boxers and tank, get your knee socks on, and watch Nick at Nite, and you know it.”

“You think you know me so well?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then how could you be so stupid and say something so unbelievably insensitive to me? Do you know how much courage it took to say goodbye to Jake? To ask him to take me home early?”

“That must’ve been hard.”

“Not as hard as this.” She storms down the hallway, enters her room, and slams the door.

I growl my frustration and wrap my hands around the brim of my stupid team hat, crushing it.

“Looks like you shoulda asked her to prom to begin with,” Charlie says from his chair.

“Yeah,” I say and slump onto the couch.

“Rough night?” Charlie sips his drink and returns his attention to the TV like this is a normal night.

“Bella went with Jake to prom, I said something stupid, and now she hates me. Again.” I throw my hands down on the couch cushions dramatically.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 12

2013-06-27T09:33:00.001-07:00

Chapter 12

“Well, I’m out. Don’t miss me too much.”

“That’s not a problem,” I say without looking up.

“Whatever.” Garrett enters my room, leans up against the window pane and announces, “You can see right into Sex Legs’s room from here. Lucky you. All I see from my apartment is a dumpster.”

I peek out my window beside him. There’s Bella; it’s no big deal. She’s adamant about closing her blinds when she needs to. There’s no free shows, that’s for sure. Right now, she’s doing the same as me, gathering stuff for her backpack. She has something in her hand.

My phone moos, forcing me to look away. It’s Bella.

Pick me up? –B

Be right there. –E

“I gotta go. Bella wants me,” I say smugly and grab my keys.

“Go get her, Edward. And be better than us,” he says, motioning toward the kitchen where Dad is.

Save My Heart by Jason Reeves

Tell me I'm wrong
Turn around and run
Still I'm gonna save my heart for you

I know you want me too
Even if it's not now
I'm gonna wait it out

But don't you dare forget
That moment that we had
I know we both felt it

I wanna tell you things
I never tell myself
These secrets hurt like hell, oh

Call me crazy, maybe I'm insanely
Out of my mind but it'll never phase me
If I have to, I'm not afraid to
Save my heart for you

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 11

2013-06-25T15:55:00.003-07:00

Chapter 11

Dad’s in the kitchen stirring this and that while I set the table. Katie sits on the couch flipping through magazines while Caleb meanders throughout the house, playing his xylophone and rocking out to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Garrett’s been here since I got home from school Friday, but he’s hiding out in his old room now.

The front door opens, and Dad power walks out of the kitchen only to be disappointed. It’s just Greg.

No one even says hello, not even his wife. We are a pathetic family. Although, when Caleb rounds the corner he spots his dad and runs to him, slamming into his legs. “There’s my big boy!” Greg says, picking him up and squeezing him tight. “How was your day, buddy?”

“Good,” Caleb says, smiling wide, looking just like his dad.

“I knew you’d have a great day!” he says to his son, matching his enthusiasm. Greg’s one of those people that’s generally happy and never complains. I think that trait is what makes him work with my constantly complaining sister. That and he stays out of the drama. I want to be more like him.

I look up from my task and smile. “Hey, Greg.”

“Hey. Mom here yet?” he asks.

“No, she’s coming from work,” Katie says from the couch still flipping through the magazine.

The door opens with a soft click, and in walks Mom. She sets her keys on the side table and lifts her sunglasses onto her head. “It’s smells fabulous in here.”

Dad sticks his head out of the kitchen, a big goofy grin plastered on his face. “Hi!” he says brightly.

“Hi,” she responds. “What can I do to help?”

“Um, nothing. We’ll eat in a few,” he says, folding his oven-mitted hands across his chest. It looks stupid, but I smile anyway because my parents are both home. Life is good.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 10

2013-06-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

Chapter 10

I sit on a pink poof staring at deep red velvet curtains, listening to Katy Perry blast through a piss poor speaker system, waiting for Bella to appear. “Remind me again how I got stuck here,” I moan.

“I told you. I asked Charlotte, and Jane started hopping around and squealing. I turned around and walked away. I couldn’t go with them. They were too excited. It was creepy.”

“Jane is a little creepy,” I say.

“She is,” Bella admits easily. I love her honesty and her trust in me not to go telling Jane or Charlotte what we said.

Bella slips halfway through the curtain before glaring, turning back around, and covering herself in the heavy drapery.

“Wait, come on. Let me at least look.”

“It’s hideous, okay?” she says, dropping the curtain and putting her hands on her hips.

The thing is purple for starters and has these weird bows and some glittery crap on it. She’s right, so I laugh.

“Stop it, Edward. I’m never taking you shopping again.”

“You said it was hideous. What? I’m not allowed to agree?”

“If I had a baseball right now I’d throw it at your head.”

“Good, then I could be unconscious and sleep through this torture.” I slump on the pink poof and drape my head over the backside. A sales clerk waves and smiles at me from upside down.

“Okay, I’m done. Let’s just go.” She heads back into the dressing room and keeps talking while changing. “I wish we could just go in jeans and a t-shirt. Why do we have to get all stupid looking?”

“You know what? You should just not go.”

“Nice try.”

“It was worth a shot,” I say with a smirk. This is fun.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 9

2013-06-20T10:01:00.003-07:00

Chapter 9

There’s one more inning, and I’m lethargic and want to go home. I sit on the bench, head low, thinking about Bella and my dad and Mom and why my life sucks. How did it turn to crap in such a short amount of time? It’s exhausting being miserable.

“Cullen!” Coach barks.

“Yep?” I snap my head up.

“You’re up.”

I need to pay attention. This is pathetic. I was better than this when I was playing t-ball.

I warm up, taking a few swings. The batter ahead of me hits a double, setting the bar high. I take my stance, gripping the bat and toeing the ground. I grind my teeth, excited to take my anger out on the ball.

Here’s the pitch.

Crack!

It’s up, high and to the left.

“Foul ball,” the umpire calls.

“Come on, Edward!” a familiar voice yells.

I turn and tip up my helmet to see Bella’s friendly face. She’s in uniform pants but lost her shirt, wearing a tank instead, showing off her tan, sweaty skin. She’s gorgeous. I smile and turn back to my game, rejuvenated.

“Hit ‘em hard, Edward. Let’s go,” she says, cheering me on.

The ball flies, and I swing and miss.

“Shake it off. The next one’s yours! Take it, Edward, it’s yours!”

Something about her calling my name builds me up, makes me feel like I can’t miss, like it’s physically impossible.

The ball comes, and my swing’s dead on. I book it to first and keep my eye on the outfielder who’s chasing my grounded ball. He fumbles, but he’s on it, too. I hedge closer to second but hesitate until Bella calls out, “Go for it! Run your ass as fast as you can!” So I do!

The outfielder’s throw is crap, and I’m free to keep running, making it all the way to third and sending two of my teammates home. It was a great play.

Here We Go by Matt Kearney

Oh no,
Here we go again
I know how I lost a friend
We go 'round and 'round again
Oh, oh
Oh, oh

Around here
We've got a light here that's not going away
If all is broken, and all is lost
Then I've been found,
So here's my heart
I'll give over and over again

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 8

2013-06-18T18:02:00.001-07:00

This picture makes me giggle every time I look at it!

Chapter 8

After practice I lose my shirt and wait for her outside the locker rooms. It won’t hurt being half naked, right? I mean, if she wanted to be half naked I wouldn’t complain, so . . .

She’s walking with her teammate, Claire, their cleats hitting the concrete as they get closer. “Hi, Edward,” Claire says, with a flourishy wave, looking me up and down.

“Um, hi,” I say, looking at Bella though speaking to Claire.

“You need help in the shower?” she asks, giggling.

“Not unless Bella’s available,” I quip.

“Lucky bitch.” Claire bumps Bella with her shoulder playfully and saunters away.

“What are you doing?” Bella questions suspiciously, trying to avert her eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I say, pulling my hat off and messing up my hair. I tuck the brim into the back of my pants.

“You don’t know what . . . are you kidding me?”

“No. I have no clue what you’re—”

I can’t finish because Jake shows up. Perfect. He must have been watching her practice. What a loser. Then again, if Bella hung around watching me practice, I wouldn’t mind. But she has her own practice. This is stupid.

“It’s hot out here,” Bella says, wiping her brow dramatically. She’s a terrible actress.

“Sure is,” Jake agrees.

“Wish I was a boy so I could just . . .” Bella mimes whipping off her shirt.

“It is nice; you should try it,” Jake says and takes off his shirt with a wink. It’s not even pervy when he does it. And, damn, he’s built. I knew he was, but this is ridiculous. At least he’s shorter than I am.

Emmett, my team captain, bellows my name as he comes upon us. “Yo, why are we getting naked?”

“Them. Not me,” Bella says innocently. “Edward might know, though.”

Emmett looks to me, and I manage, “I was just hot and, um, yeah.” Bella’s turned me into an imbecile.

“Me, too.” Emmett smoothes his shirt over his head, and Bella smiles, taking a long, hard look at all three of us. I didn’t think over this well enough.

Never Said I Didn't is on the Poll this Week!

2013-06-18T17:55:00.000-07:00

The Lemonade Stand always offers good recs and gives little stories, like my own, a chance to be more well known. Please click on the link to vote for your favorite fic of the week. Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the last day! Thank you for all your support! And remember, even though Edward doesn't usually have a clue, he does love you. And he wants to kiss your shoulder freckles something fierce. Just saying.

Never Said I Didn't Chapter 7

2013-06-15T14:35:00.000-07:00

Chapter 7

We move quietly into my bedroom and slip inside undetected. There aren’t restrictions on Bella’s visits, but I don’t want to upset Dad about anything else.

Bella saunters to my bed. She caps my pen and stacks my book and papers before placing them on my small desk. She sits back against the wall and tucks her hands between her double red-striped, tube-socked feet. I wish I had a camera in my room to capture her there. Her simplicity is beautiful, and the way she fits on my bed and in the mess of my stuff makes me feel tight in my stomach.

“Your house smells good,” she says.

“Dad made dinner,” I say with a frown.

“Oh no. Poor Carlisle. He can’t catch a break.”

“Like father, like son,” I say and sit beside Bella, slumping on the same pillow that rests behind her. “Remember when our family went with yours to the lake for that fishing thing?”

“Yeah,” she says, smiling and looking at me. Her grin lights up her face, and I want to touch her, hold her, so I do. I slip my hand in hers again, this time feeling the curves of her fingers.

“My Dad was so mad when he made that fish and no one would eat it,” I say, snickering.

“It was terrible. I don’t even know what he could’ve done to have made it so awful.”

We giggle side by side at the memory, her body wiggling next to mine, and I’m bombarded with memories of Bella here in my bed doing this same thing—talking and laughing, being with me, but this is different. Because the truth is out now, and it creates an ache in my heart. I want this to be what it used to be, plus more.

I hold her hand to my chest and cover it with my other. I wish she could feel the beat of my heart and know it’s for her, know that she’s the reason I’m getting through any of this.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, voice soft and comforting.

“No, just having you here is good.”