Purple Rice

On Becoming an Ajumma

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 00:45:00 +0000

There are obvious signs of aging, like needing to color my hair that I accept in strides. But when I become obsessed with a new Korean Drama, Boys Before Flowers, I am a bit alarmed, for it is a well know fact that the Ajummas are the force behind the Korean Drama Wave.

First, I watched it on YouTube, then I download the drama, finally I pre-ordered the official DVD . Heck, I even bought the sound track because of this particular song

Scott wants to know what I see in Jihoo Sunbae, aka "the red hair boy" in my house. "I can break him in half he is so thin, and he looks like a girl!"

Ignore Scott, and continue watching the drama...

Scott now really worried, "do we have to go on a Korean Drama tour like Aunt Judy and Aunt Gloria next year?"

Mental Image of " me, Scott, three turnip heads, and my parents hiding in the alley waiting for autograph"...has some appeal.

Update

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 15:31:00 +0000

It's been a long time since my last entry. I stopped when we decided not to continue with our second adoption. Since the blog was started for that purpose, it feels sad to visit it when we won't be getting a baby after all. The reasons for our decision all sound kind of trivial and hollow when alliterate . The changing climax of international adoption has a lot to do with it. It was just not meant to be. God's will.

I am sort of in a slump now, not quit knowing where to re direct my energy. The children seem out of control except when they are under someone else care. I am not quite sure what to do with baby sitting arrangement with the kids in school, one until 2:45, one get out at 11:30, and one goes only three days a week. Currently we have three baby sitters, one during the day (also suppose to clean etc.), and two rotating ones for week nights because Scott and I both take call. I have reluctantly come to the realization that ultimately, nobody wants to take care of other people's children or clean their houses (it's not as terrible as it sounds, heck, I don't want to clean my own house even if Scott pays me). It's just a job, and the less they do, the better it is for them. Scott says that I need to give specific instructions as to what needs to be done. I find that so difficult to be nearly impossible. It's not that I don't know what needs to be done. I just can't bring myself to give orders. It's gotten so that I pack the boys their lunch even though they eat at home, just to make sure that they eat what I prepared, instead of being taken out for fast food. It's all much easier in the hospital. I write my orders, and a system is in place to see that the orders are carried out, otherwise, "the system" is in place to "take care of it" without me having to confront anybody directly. On the rare occasion that I complaint...meetings are arranged, apologies offered, and some attempts at changes are made... well I didn't say it is perfect...

I thought of changing the blog to a food/bento blog. There's only one problem. The kids just want to have PBJ, and chicken mcnuggets. List of acceptable food is short: cereal, macaroni and cheese from a box, Chinese instant noodle, chocolate milk. Baby drinks more milk than a calf. They love Pizza Wednesdays at school. They would each gulf down two adult size pieces plus dessert, no problem. In the mean time, I am churning out enough baked goods for a small bakery, and making multi layered bento boxes. I would not go so far as to say that Motherhood is not rewarding, but a simple positive feed back loop it is not.

I also find it difficult to reconcile the priorities that preschool and kindergarten demand with my work schedule. Kindergarten craft duty, lunch service duty, field trips to apple orchard, Halloween parties are all smack in the middle of a work day. It's not that I don't want to spend time with my children or be involved with their education. I insist on dropping them off myself every morning, which means I start my rounds an hour later than is typical. While that does not seem like a big deal, it is if you are waiting to be taken of the ventilator, or worse yet, need to be put on one. But, I do feel that the entire preschool/kindergarten curriculum is not designed with working parents in mind, let alone one that intubate and resuscitate people for a living.

Enough venting, time to plan that Disney trip for next Spring. Did you know that you need to make dining reservations 6 months ahead of your day of arrival to get the restaurants and character meal that you want? To get a meal with Cindy at The Castle, you have to synchronize your phone call to the atomic clock at the exact time that they open their phone line for reservation on the exact day six months ahead of you day of arrival because so many people are making the reservation at the same time. It's crazy! If you have no idea what I am talking about, you are a better person than I am. To think, I use to be able to pack for a trip to Peru an hour ahead of my flight and bring only a small duffel bag for the whole two weeks!

Giving up my iPhone

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 02:38:00 +0000

How best to describe my feeling upon surrendering my iPhone for Scott to use, and settle with a Blackberry Pearl? When in the depth of despair, I can only express myself through Chinese poetry.. 還君明珠雙淚垂 comes to mine.

The Blackberry Pearl is a pretty stylish smart phone itself, but, 曾經滄海難為水，除卻巫山不是雲.

I am waiting for third party developers to create medical applications that can be download to the iPhone. Using web based applications is just too inefficient and unreliable for a busy pulmonary/critical care practice. 春蠶到死絲方盡，蠟炬成灰淚始乾 sort of sums up the current situation.

But, I still get to use the iPhone on weekends. 兩情若是久長時，又豈在朝朝暮暮

So, 問世間, 情是何物, 直教生死相許 is the billion dollar question to be demonstrated by a new iPhone vs. other smart phones ad for China.

Before I get another iPhone, it needs to mature beyond being desirable and beguiling, it needs to support knowledge management systems for healthcare, and mobile charge capture applications. A woman can not live on love alone.

How Heartless Are We

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 02:06:00 +0000

Scott and I practice medicine in La Porte county. We have only one neurosurgeon in the entire county. He also serves Porter county. He takes call for himself every day (and night), because well, there's just him. If a person happens to need a neurosurgeon traveling through our lake effect snow covered roads and gets hit by a truck, or because a person drinks too much champagne this New Year's Eve then falls and hits his head, he is it, any hour of the day (or night usually). He's been doing this for, give or take, 18 years.

A few days before Christmas, the OR scheduled was packed with no room to accommodate emergencies. Everyone wanted to get their elective surgery done before the year's end, because they have already paid the deductible for their health insurances. Scott called to say that he's going to be late coming home because his case was bumped two or three times and he won't be starting his case until 4:00 or 5:00 pm. (Scott, my seldom mentioned husband, is an orthopedic surgeon.) A couple of hours later, he called again and told me that he will be further delayed because he gave his time slot to the neurosurgeon at the last minute. Bellow was his conversation with the OR charge nurse, Dr. F, the neurosurgeon, and others.

Scott: say, why is Dr. F is looking grumpy? It's not like him.

OR nurse: well, he has to operate on a kid with a brain abscess today, and now he's going to miss his mother's funeral at six (6:00 pm)because his case keeps getting bumped. He says the abscess needs to be drained today.

Scott: speechless?!?!?!

Ran done the hall to stop them from wheeling his patient into the OR, asked his patient if he'll wait a few more hours so Dr.F can get to his mother's funeral. Patient had no problem waiting. Patient was a normal human being. Scott, thankfully, also was a normal human being.

Dr.F: Scott, you don't have to do this you know, it's not how the rules for the OR schedule work, you are entitled to go before me.

Scott: IT"S YOUR MOTHER"S FUNERAL!!!

Anesthesiologist (during Scott's operation): do you think the OR committee is going to review him bumping you?

Scott: I gave him the spot, it's not a bump.

Anesthesiologist: it's a bump according to the rules.

We thought anesthesiologist was half joking, but only half.

Me (after listening to Scott): You joke me, right!?!? (Chinese baby English comes out our my mouth when stressed.) Why he not ask someone earlier?

Scott: I no joke you, you English bye bye, need neurosurgeon? Drive to Chicago...Dr F at funeral.

Me (thinking some more about this): On the other hand, who else do you think would have let him "cut in line"?

Scott and I thinking very hard, eyes widening, hearts sinking...

Scott (hope rising): Dr.X would have offered to operate faster...?

Why DR. F felt he could not and should not ask his fellow surgeons to let him "cut in line", and drain a must be drained brain abscess, (in a kid no less), so he could attend his mother's funeral reflected his assessment of our medical community's character, ethics, and humanity, after having worked with these people for 18 years. I think he may have been "conservative" in his assessment, but well within the ball park in his estimation of the probability of his request being denied. It's long accepted that in the field of medicine, personal birthdays mean nothing, holidays mean working harder and longer hours on the days that follow, and maternity leave starts when one is having contraction's every ten minutes...no reason to not work because your mother just died. And the funeral? Dead people don't need emergency surgery, so not valid reason to bump another surgeon's elective surgery.

Are the other professions like us? Or are we just more jaded about death and dying? Or just jaded, period?

Christmas Cards

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 04:10:00 +0000

Christmas has a new meaning for me now that I am a mother. It means...STRESS! Only now do I understand what people mean when they say they are "behind for Christmas", or that they are "not ready for Christmas". How hard can shopping for a few presents and putting up a Christmas tree be, some may wonder. Ignorance is Bliss.

Take Christmas cards for example. I use to just pick up a pleasing box from Borders while ambling around the mall, taking advantage of the extended Holiday hours. Now, I have to make them, while ordering Christmas presents on-line after midnight.

I gave up on the idea of a family picture. Getting threes toddlers to dress up in fancy outfits, sit still for the camera, and smile at the same time ages me. So this year, we have the kids with their Dad who can intimidate them more easily, and a collage of pictures taht took an hour to pick. Scott had to write the message because I had to go intubate some unfortunate soul.

Then there's the matter of sending the cards out. I really wanted to use nice labels and holiday stamps, so special trips to Office Depot and the post office were made. But, Leopard (Mac OS 10.5) failed me. Even though it was pretty easy to print out labels for the recipients, I could not print out a whole sheet of my own address, very strange. I guess I will be buying the Microsoft Office 2008 when it comes out. I ended up hand writing my own address on all the envelopes. Not pretty. My printer also broke as I get ready to print which necessitated a long phone call to HP technical support. After an hour, they decided to send me another printer. My printer is still under warranty, that's how new it is.

Maybe I will just do e-cards next year. With my luck, it will go straight to every one's Spam box.

Expedited Referrals

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 15:17:00 +0000

It all started with the rumor on The Rumor Queen that a certain US adoption agency gets faster referrals for their clients. Waiting parents are mad that people are "cutting in line", and are concerned about possible corruption in the China international adoption program. There are no conclusions yet on exactly what's going on. Some discussions regarding what constitute an ethical adoption followed, mostly about the role of the adoptive parents, adoption agencies and the governments involved. Little were mentioned about the adopted children or their birth parent. Then came the negativity toward expedited families of Chinese ancestry. It's just not fair that Chinese families get Chinese children faster. I find it perplexing that these outlooks are coming out of the same China adoptive parents (hopefully not the exact same people) who study blogs by Korean trans-racial adoptees. These are the same group of adoptive parents who express sympathy, empathy and understanding of the pain and suffering of the trans- racially adopted and vow to do better for their own trans- racially adopted children by enrolling them in Chinese schools and celebrate every Chinese holiday. How can they forget the sacred Adoption Triad so well described by those adopted? Let me remind my readers for the quiz after reading my blog, The Triad consists of The Child, The Birth Parents, and The Adoptive Parents...but did not include The Government (an oversight?). (This would make a good multi multiple choice question, the kind that you pick A,B,C,D, A and C, B and D, A B and C, and all of the above.)

I am not a big fan of the Korean trans-racial adoptive blogs. If nothing else, they don't make me feel all warm and fuzzy. In fact, reading them generates "negative emotions" toward trans- racial adoptions. Despite all the disclaimers by the authors that they are not bitter, resentful, and ungrateful, that's exactly how they come across. Ungrateful is fine, since being "ungrateful" is probably a sign of parent-child attachment, but bitter and resentful is harder for me to sympathise with....until recently, when I realize what their parents may be like and what their lives entail.

It comes across loud and clear in these blogs that the Korean trans- racial adoptees don't mind being adopted so much as being adopted by White Parents. The hierarchy of their preference is very clearly stated: 1.) Biologic parents, 2.) Domestic adoptive parents (citizens of their birth country), then grudgingly 3.) White Parents on a good day, but maybe The Institution on a bad day. The fact that they are not with #1 and #2 is the source of their angst and in my view not fair game for public debate, so I won't comment on it. It does not take too much imagination to infer that they would have probably preferred being adopted by Korean immigrants than white parents. In fact, I would presume to venture, that the mental image they have of their biologic parents are most likely based on that of the immigrant Korean families. The parents of their dreams most likely bear striking resemblances to their Korean classmates' parents. The White Parents seem to have a mental block with that reality. They are blocking this message out the same way and for the same reason that they are blocking out the message that morbid obesity is a life threatening condition, and homosexuality is not the familial norm. When choices are being made, the adoptive parents' desire to be parents always out weights the best interest of the child. But that's being human, and is necessary up to a certain point, for the sacrifices demanded of parenthood.

Raising children is not a particularly logical enterprise except in the context of specie survival. Were it not for the Desire to be Parents, we would all let our neighbors raise the next generation instead of ourselves. Therefore, the responsibility rests with the society/elected officials (The Government) to set limits so that the desire of the adoptive parents whilst acknowledged and respected, do not overwhelm the best interest of the child, hence The Haque. To that end the CCAA lets white families and Chinese families adopt, but has an expedited line for families of Chinese Heritage. To that end, there are restrictions based on BMI for adoptive parents, to that end there are income qualifications, and criminal record checks...it's not that hard to understand. By the way, I have never heard of Korean adoptees complain about their adoptive parent's weight or income, just about them being white...food for thought?

Some people are not happy that families of Chinese heritage are expedited. In my view these people should not adopt Chinese children. If they can not overlook their self interest enough to see that Chinese children prefer Chinese parents, then they would not understand the complex racial issues trans- racially adopted children will face. These parents are the ones that raise children who feel that they are experimental monkeys. After reading about the embittering experiences that trans- racial adoptees recounted and the blatant selfishness and racism expressed by some adoptive parents in the international adoptive community, I sometimes wish that China would refer their babies to Chinese families first, then consider the non Chinese families. But that kind of attitude does not contribute to world peace in the end, and I want a better world for my children and their children.

Being Chinese, I am pretty sure it was the White Adoptive Parent who first opened the door to international adoption and worked to make IA as corruption free as possible. They are also the ones adopting special needs babies and older children. As a population, the Chinese community still has (to put it kindly) reservations about adoption as a mean to build their own families. When I read blogs written by Chinese families about adoption, they most often talk about the disapproval they face within their own families, and the conflicts they face are quite painful and heartbreaking. These are blogs written in Chinese, a whole different genre of reading. (I don't have that problem by the way.)

Fortunately (Hopefully) for all of us, by striving to be prejudice free one small step at the time, these issues I vent about will become non-issues for our future generations. May all children born be loved and well cared for. Amen.

The Wrongful Birth

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 21:28:00 +0000

I have been reading about the Australian lesbian couple suing their fertility doctor because their IVF resulted in two instead of just one baby . I am pretty informed about the process involved in IVF, having been through it a few times myself, and read enough about it to pass a board exam. From the information available through the Internet, the case did not impress me as an unusual malpractice suit. Perhaps there was a procedural, or system flaw that resulted in an error. If an "error" occurred, it only occurred by the narrowest definition...the birth mother's informal verbal request at the last moment of a very long medical process which contradicted her explicit written consent. The error did not occur because the IVF protocol was not followed; the error occurred because the mothers involved behaved in an unexpected and exceptional manner, outside of the scope covered by the protocol. I am not sure how things work in Australia, (is IVF really publicly funded?), but these harassment suites happen all the time in the US, and the society at large absorbs the cost because, well, our society obviously feels that it's worth the cost...However, now that I have expressed my bias, rather than using this case as yet another excuse to bemoan the plights (of which there are many) of the modern physician (of which I am one), I think this case is very important because it focuses the general public's attention on the ethical controversies surrounding IVF.

Legal merits of the case aside, what was to have happened to the embryo had it (she) not been transfered? What should have happened to the embryo if it were not transferred? Would the hypothetical embryo who is now a real three year old agree with your answer? Who had the right to decide, you me, the public, these women, or the three year old who was then an embryo? Here are two women complaining, to the point of filing a law suite that, two human embryos that they chose to deliberately and artificially create because of their sexual orientation, were transferred instead of one, therefore, the accusation being, resulting in the birth and existence of their two, instead of one, daughters. As they are raising their two daughters today, they are able to state with unwavering conviction, that they were wronged and harmed because both of these two equally viable embryos were allowed to grow into little girls, when they, the parents, wanted just to allow for one. In other words, While proclaiming that they love and cherish their daughters equally they are suing for damages because one of them is not dead, literally. Dead, NOT does not exist mind you, because they were both already created at the time of the transfer.

Unlike most IVF patients with "extra" embryos, these women actually have the unique opportunity to know and love (?) the "embryos" they created but did not initially want. Yet, to this very day, they still actively wish for the destruction of one of these embryos so fiercely that they are suing for compensation. They, and their lawyer, claim with righteousness that they are "injured" because their doctor caused the continuing survival of both of their daughters instead of killing one off as they really had wanted. Am I the only one alarmed by these people's attitude? If they were indeed "wronged" by the system, would it have been more right for one of the little girls to have been destroyed as an embryo? Would that hypothetical little embryo who is now growing up to be a real woman not have been more "wronged" if it was indeed discarded? It is understandable for the rest of the world to feel impersonal and unattached to hypothetical embryos for the sake of ethical discussion, but when a specific embryo escaped the protocol and proved to the world that it too can be a real human being, we, the rest of the world should reconsider the fate of all the other embryos that were not so fortunate. These women who are suing should serve as a cautionary tale for the rest of us, reminding the world how easy it is for people to devalue human life when it serves their(?our) self interest to do so.

Regardless of what any one's philosophical definition of when human life begins, from the perspective of the embryo, it is as alive as it can be at it's every point in life until it dies, no more or less than what any one of us can claim. After insemination, a healthy embryo divides and grows at a predictable and known fashion until, in the case of IVF, it's transferred into the perspective mother's uterus, where it will hopefully implant and continue to develop and grow. Sometimes the embryo does not implant, and dies (hence the practice of transferring more than one embryo, IVF is not the exact science some people believe it to be). Sometimes, the embryo implants, grows in to a fetus, but dies before being born. Sometime, the embryo implants, grows into a fetus, then an infant, but dies as a baby, or a child, or an young adult. Sometime, the embryo gets to die as a 100 year old demented nursing home patient on the ventilator. Nobody can predict the exact fate of any particular human embryo. Should anyone, as an individual or as members of the human society have the right to condemn an embryo to death? If so, under what bases? The entitlement of the biologic parents? What about the sperm donor? He was more biologic then the birth mother's lesbian partner by definition.

As I said in the beginning, I went through IVF a couple of times myself, not to mention all the other stuff preceding IVF. Fortunately for us, because I never produce many eggs per cycle, all of the embryos in every cycle were transferred, none were purposely destroyed. All six of them were excellent quality embryos, though none of them "took". I had pictures of them, they could have been part of a baby book. I confess, I did not give ethical matters much thought at the time, I just wanted a baby. Now I am mother to three. I also have ultrasound pictures of my sons (who were conceived the old fashion way after my failed IVF cycles) starting just a few days after implantation, not all that much older than these "embryos" at the time of an IVF transfer. I had these ultrasounds because I was considered a very "high risk OB". I can not imagine looking at my children now and think for a moment that I could decide if they should or should not exist, or if they should have been destroyed at any point during their lives. Can any mother? (yes yes yes, these Australian moms can). In fact, knowing what I know now, if we happen to have had embryos left from our previous attempts at IVF, I would transfer them all, one at the time, and hope that they all live. Easy to say since we don't have to deal with that situation...to actually do that is probably not economically or medically feasible. Yet these "extra" embryos are created and destroyed daily by parents who would have loved them if they were the ones transferred.

I do not believe that IVF is unethical per say. I do think that the way it's currently conducted leads to regrets, not only for the parents, but for our entire society. For example, if this couple really only wanted one child, they could have asked for only one egg to be retrieved and inseminated. If the success rate of IVF then drops to economically or medically unacceptable levels, then the procedure should be abandoned until it can be further refined. I am not even sure if it is ethical to apply IVF or other assisted reproductive technology to people without medical problems but are doing so for "life-style" choices. After all, we do not transplant a new heart into someone who's heart is perfectly fine or do dialysis on people with functioning kidneys. Quoting Rita Panahi from News.com.au

Ethicists are up in arms at the prospect of an ever increasing number of women capable of conceiving naturally but who take advantage of IVF to avoid the involvement of a male partner in producing a child.

In Britain single women and lesbians are likely to become the largest group to have donor insemination. Latest figures show they made up 38 per cent of all treatments last year, an increase from 28 per cent in 2003 and 18 per cent in 1999.

In Australia there are almost 120,000 fertilised eggs ready for use by IVF patients. Based on current success rates this equates to 12,000 children.

Fears that these lives could be traded as just another commodity are only strengthened with cases such as this, where a monetary value is being sought for the artificial creation of a life that was superfluous to the needs of the parents.

Genetic technology when coupled with the reproductive technologies already available make it possible in the near future (if not now already) for us to engineer human beings at will. My fear is that when we manipulate human reproduction for our own convenience and benefit (as almost all human endeavors are), our future generations will be created in our own image instead of that of God. These future generations will no longer be God's children, and will not be human beings as we define human beings today. Is that how we are to end?

The First Song

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 02:44:00 +0000

This is YehYeh's debut performance after just three months of violin lessons!

Luciano Pavarotti sings

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 02:06:00 +0000

In memory of Luciano Pavarotti

My favorite La Boheme recording is the one with Pavarotti and Freni by Decca.

First Day of School

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 02:22:00 +0000

Today is the first day of school for Bo. He has been looking forward to it all summer. Last night, YehYeh sat him down at the kitchen table and gave him some pointers. "No hitting, no pushing, no teasing, be respectful, and you'll do fine", I heard her said. She gave him a hug afterwards as an encouragement. YehYeh is a bluebird (the second year) at preschool this year. She talks about kindergarten next year the way high school seniors talk about college. We haven't discussed the educational opportunities post kindergarten yet. Nevertheless, she is a natural student. She is sociable, inquisitive, competitive, and a born leader who is not easily fazed by peer pressure, or intimidated by authority. She figures out the rules for success and eagerly follows them to her own advantage.

BoBo, on the other hand, has issues (sigh). A supremely sensitive little guy with an emotional intensity beyond what his tender years can handle, he takes everything personally, and can not tolerate being misunderstood. More than the average toddler, he feels an absolute need to control his environment and is frequently frustrated and angry because of the impossibility of it all. Needless to say, preschool with all it's rules and relatively impersonal routine is very stressful for him. In his mind, it's not only an intimidating environment where his voice is drowned by many others, but also a place where right and wrong is frequently relative (to him), and arbitrary.

I am very glad that he will have two years of preschool before kindergarten. In order to succeed in formal education, he needs to learn that being unique is a state of mind, that it's not necessary or even that important to be understood, and that rules are not only not personal, they are created based on the lowest common denominator. Preschool, the toddler's little microcosm of the real world, is all about getting along, and only incidentally about right and wrong.

BoBo is only three, and I am already wanting to tell him to stop being so idealistic :-). Next year, Baby will get an entirely different message from me on his first day of school...something along the line of "the end does not justify the means".

Ama's birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 15:25:00 +0000

Don't forget to click play at the bottom left!
The kids really miss her. The first weekend after Ama went back to LA, they ran upstairs to her room at my parents' house looking for her. Baby asked,"Achoi hide?"

Wiggles and Giggles

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 02:24:00 +0000

We went to the Wiggles concert last weekend. When we got there, we found ourselves in the balcony, far far away from the stage, even though I asked for the best available seats on Ticket Master. To make matters worse, our camera was broken.

Fortunately, our professional childcare provider (Jamie) accompanied us to the event. She is just as much a Wiggles fan as Baby. She and Baby have waited for two years to see the Wiggles live. When she saw other little kids dancing around the stage she scooped Baby up and declared,"let see if they will say no to a two year old", and left. Esther, quick to pick up on the situation, scurried behind with Maddie (Jamie's daughter). I decided to follow them after a couple of minutes with Bo.

I asked the guard at the VIP section if I could bring Bo in, he looked at me like I was crazy, and said,"NO". A little embarrased, I hasten back to our seats. I noticed though that Jamie did not come back, and assumed that she found better seats somewhere in the economy section. Then, the unbelievable happened.

Scott and I looked down with amazement at Baby and Yeh wiggling right next to the stage, and Jamie standing a little bit behind, beaming with pride.

She was the one who took the pictures, with her hot pink cellphone.

We always knew that we were very lucky to have Jamie, but I never realized the scope of her virtuosity. The woman has skills that I will never have!

Pride and Prejudice

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 19:29:00 +0000

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single person in possession of a good mind , must be in want of strong opinions. However little known the feelings or views of such a person may be on his/her first entering a forum, his/her opinions must not be repudiated...

After spending too much time on Internet forums, it's my observation that people may have strong opinions, but their strongest opinion is about their own opinion. Myself included.

I guess that's what blogs are for, to expound on those opinions on one's own turf.

The Children's Bible

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 00:35:00 +0000

There was a thunderstorm last week. After some impressive thunder and lightening, BoBo exclaimed, "Mama Mama, God is angry!"

"Why do you think God is angry?" I asked, not wanting to miss an educational opportunity.

YehYeh, aka "Know It All", started to educate me about Noah. "it's going to rain for forty days and forty night!", she predicted as a matter of fact. BoBo nodded in agreement, looking very worried.

YehYeh proceeded to sing, "who built the ark, who build the ark..." for her multimedia presentation. "Noah, Noah" jointed the boys in refrain, to support their sister.

All together, for the finale, "brother Noah built the ark". Much clapping, thank you, thank you.

After the song, they took turns naming all the animals they can think of , including exotic creatures such as the mommy and daddy wombats.

Searching for more passengers, YehYeh enlisted Mary, Joseph, and their camel.

"Don't forget Sam!", BoBo shouted. He loves Samson, and just as much, the Sam in Green Egg and Sam. I think he thinks they are the same person.

"Two by two, three by three, four by four..." chanted the children in unison. "Then there was baby Jesus", YehYeh concluded.

Blasphemy, blasphemy, please forgive her God, for she knows not what she is saying.

Scott finally came home half an hour later. BoBo threw a tantrum because BaBa refused to build a boat.

"Why can't you build a boat", I implored.

"But I just finished twelve hours of surgery, now I have to build a boat?" Scott complained.

"Built him a boat while I make you some fried rice", I ordered.

BoBo got a paper boat, and Scott, some fried rice.

Then they all went to bed.

Amen

All About Me

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 19:41:00 +0000

When I first started blogging, I was stumped and a little frustrated with having to address the ubiquitous about me field. Now that I have blogged a bit, I understand the need to explain myself so what I write has a point of reference. To that purpose, I start.

About the Pictures. They are in jest. They are also from a long long time ago. They are roughly based on me, but not even my own relatives can recognize me looking at these photos. I am a little uncomfortable with posting personal pictures on a public blog, so I purposely choose photos that can not serve as an identifier. The baby pictures are from a year or more ago for the same reason. Besides, I don't have many recent photos. I am usually the one with the camera going "say cheese..". I dress my family nicely if I may say so, I am not so particular about my self, so I avoid being included in pictures. Don't want to spoil the effect.

About my faith. I surprise myself when I realize how much of what I write/think is based on my Christian believes. I would most definitely not characterize myself as a religious fanatic. I am a wayward Christian at best. I have not attended church regularly as an adult until now. Call does get in the way, but that's no excuse. I do work in a Catholic hospital that prays through the intercom periodically regardless of what I am doing at the time, I don't think that counts. I have trouble memorizing the books of the Bible, and whenever I try to improve my knowledge of the Bible, I get really stuck at the begets. I am hoping to find a Bible study group to help with that problem, I may first try some on line sources seeing that I am so attached to my computer. I am grateful to my grandmother for my faith, left to myself, I would probably have gotten lost.

My thought on parenting. I have been a mother for exactly four years come Aug 28,2007. I have been a daughter since the day I was born. How I feel about the parent child relationship reflects more on my relationship with my parents and the relationship of my aunts and uncles with my cousins than my experience as a parent. Good for us, but bad for my blogging career is that our family is not only not dysfunctional, it's almost overly non dysfunctional. For me, my relationship with my parents is unique and irreplaceable even if they drive me nuts sometimes. (vice versa I am sure). I am not sure how people who have gone through multiple divorces and multiple combinations of parents would feel about their parents. They might like all of them, but ? I really just don't know. I want all of my children to experience the same degree of certainty I experienced growing up, if that makes me selfish or insensitive to the needs of my daughter's birth parents, I can only apologize, but I must think of my (their) daughter first. Children do not belong to their parents for very long as it is. Very quickly they grow away from you and develop their own personalities, lifes, dreams, bad habits, whatever. Only the really young want to be around their parents all the time and sleep with them. (Define really young for yourself please, I think in my family the definitions may be a little older than the American norm.) As an adult, one has to choose to have a relationship with one's parents (not all do). That relationship needs to be periodically redefined and updated if the relationship is to remain meaningful. Kind of like a website?

On being an Asian woman. I do not represent the views of all Asian Americans women. I do think I represent a tiny niche that does not get a lot of press. My lack of insight on the sexual stereotyping of Asian women is a result of my inexperience with bars, night clubs and fraternities. And just to be honest, a lack of mammary glands. (too much info, too much info...) I just throw in my views to add to the overall picture. Don't want to be accused of not being thorough.

On my writing. Well, there's a reason that one does not need to pay to read it.

Addendum: On my husband. He insists that I mention him or he won't proof -read my blog. He's OK otherwise.

Was It Meant to Be?

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 20:33:00 +0000

I stumbled on a Korean adoptee blog today that bothered me more than others. The author also adopted from Korea, and has a bio daughter. She did not make her motivation to adopt clear on her blog. I do not find the author malicious in anyway. I do not believe her blog has an agenda or a cause. I think she writes about what she feels when she feels the need to write about it. I am almost certain that she is a pretty nice person, someone I would know from church etc. I felt the urge to respond to her opinions and observations, but I just don't have the heart to comment negatively on someone else's personal blog. She is not writing to me or for me. I read many of her recent entries to try to gain a more complete picture and to understand her writing style. The problem with reading blogs is that posts can be easily taken out of context. I think I read enough to know that while she appears happy with her life, she is not happy being a trans-racial adoptee.

What troubles me the most is her post that portrays adoptive parents as selfish insensitive people who thoughtlessly build their happiness upon the pain of the "birth parents". Specifically, she found adoptive parents' sentiment that the adopted children were "meant to be" their children distasteful and insulting to the children's birth parents. The fact that she over romanticizes the birth parents is obvious, or should be to anyone old enough to reproduce. Her reproach of parents who are just trying to express their love for their adopted children is not particularly charitable or helpful to those adopted. When I describe my relationship with my daughter as "meant to be", it does not imply that the events which lead to her adoption were also meant to be. Nothing bad that happens in our world is "meant to be". We chose with our free will to disobey God, and had to leave the Garden of Eden...after that, EVERYTHING was not meant to be. That is what is meant by the original sin. When I talk or think that my daughter is meant to be my daughter, I am talking about the grace of God that saves, protects, and blesses me, my daughter, her bio parents, infertile couples, China, USA, all of us, etc, despite all the things that are not meant to be. It's a miracle, and should be appreciated as such. Referring to my previous post, me, the child, her bio parents all knocked, and we were all answered, given the constraint of our inperfect word that is of our own doing. Please feel free to improve the world so the future is a better place. The past is what it is. I do understand and agree with her that there are adoptive parents with an attitude of entitlement that's hard to stomach. I complained quite loquaciously about them myself. But they are that way about everything in their life, they are not that way because they are adoptive parents. It dawn on me though, that her perspective is very much that of a sheltered American based on her somewhat romantic view of poverty, and child abandonment. while her views simply refect who she is and how she feels, they do lack insight and scope. ( If any one finds the term "sheltered American" insulting, realize at least that many in the world envy that dubious privilege.) In answer to her question, if I had to give up a child due to war, famine, extreme poverty,etc. I would be so thankful not to mention relieved that my child was loved and well cared for and did not die, I would have no problem over looking his or her adoptive parent's lack of talent for creative prose, or even their sense of undeserved entitlement. But that's just me. (By the way, bio parents with insight, do not feel entitled to their bio children either.)

Human love is by nature possessive. I claim my child, my child claims me, that's called attachment. Children need to attach, it's part of normal development. How would an adopted child feel growing up if she thinks that her parents would willingly, with gladness reunite her with her bio parents should they happen to show up on the front door? Only God is capable of the true unconditional love that is perfectly pure. The rest of us can only love in a way that God approves, allow God to guide us in our choices and trust in his timing. To think otherwise is hubris.

Her perspective about female Asian stereotypes is also very much that of an American woman (of whatever ethnicity) rather than that of an Asian. Ironically, it's the fact that she is so very American (and nothing wrong with that, by the way) that she sees it as a racial issue. I have no doubt that everything she described happened. However, if I were to be in those situations, it's the perversity that would offend me, not the fact that these people view me as Asian. Chinese is what I am, whoever that chooses to look at me. As an Asian women who grew up with a world filled with other Asian women of all ages, shape and sizes, ugly and beautiful but mostly just plain, the concept of all Asian woman as sexual beings is just too preposterous to be entertained even under duress. Bad men sexualize women, their hatred is universal. They would not treat white women or even their own wives or daughters any better. It puzzles me that anyone should find sexual perverts' opinion on women of any significance. I don't seek opinion on children from pedophiles. Of course these people are also racist. They are the same group that robs the poor and beats the elderly. They exist in all countries. Unfortunately certain percentage of the human population suffers from this particular form of "congenital defect", and are truly "learning disabled". One simply stay away from places where these people are likely to hang out (in the real world and on the internet) because these places are bad places for many other reasons. No energy left to comment on the sisterly comments she received. Maybe they view her as a threat because she is attractive, again it's not that she is Asian. I am starting to feel a little bad about myself. I don't seem to have her problem...I guess I am that ugly.

A lot of her complaints are also complaints of second or third generation Asians, they are only relevant to her adoption in the sense that had she not been adopted, she would have grown up in Korea. These are not issues caused by adoption. These are issues of immigration, and she is an immigrant though she is not likely to view herself as such. Other children don't get to choose if their family immigrate or not either, their parents make that decision for them, just like hers.

It's getting late, so I'll cut it short. If you get nothing else from this blog, please just remember that Google search is not a research tool (if one needs an example of something that is not meant to be... )It's the definition of selection bias by design. Besides, pornography is the number one use (or at least one of the top uses) of the Internet. Try to Google white women in an Asian country and see what happens. This is just a pet peeve about one of the failures of our liberal arts education.

Adoptive parents vs Biologic Parents

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 06:00:00 +0000

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you

Question: How are adoptive parents (who may also have biologic children) different from biologic parents?

My own humble answer: They are parents who have asked of God, knowingly or not, and a door was open unto them for their needs.

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Repaired Special Needs

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 02:26:00 +0000

Preface: I am Taiwanese, brought up to be more than a little leery of the Chinese communist government. In fact, that's the main reason my family immigrated to the US.

RQ posted that China is referring "repaired special needs" children as non special needs "again". Apparently it was an issue last year then sort of died down. I wonder if it's not a little like the Chew blog situation where a disturbing situation (disrupted adoption) gets discussed a lot when it happens then dies down because the incidence is pretty low and unchanged in reality. On the other hand, it could be that with improved medical care in China there are more children who get treated for correctable conditions and are now available for adoption and the CCAA is doing its best to find homes for these kids. Or, as quite a few claimed, China is trying to slide unhealthy children into families that requested healthy kids. Words such as trickery, deception, and corruption were used.

An understandably heated discussion followed, mostly centered around the rights of PAP to have choices and be informed about the referrals of "corrected special needs" children. Almost all admit to being concerned, many are angry, some more blunt about their anger than others. The whole spectrum of attitudes ranged from the sanctimonious"how can anyone not love any child and want to parent them", to the frightening "I paid more for non special need babies and am entitled to one". Waiting parents are a little to a lot worried, including me.

In so much as China has changed and is changing, so must it's international adoption program, including the types and numbers of Chinese children it deems appropriate for international adoption. That's a given. Has the integrity of the program deteriorated as changes occur is a more fundamental question. Related to that questions is, why do the waiting adoptive parents find China or more specifically the CCAA deceitful for placing children with corrected special needs as non special needs?

One must accept when adopting that no system can be 100% correct in accessing the medical condition of a child. A certain percentage of non special need referrals will have "special needs" or medical problems. Vice versa, a certain percentage of "special needs" are not really special needs at all. It seems logical also that the population of "corrected special need" children may have a higher incidence of permanent medical problems than the traditional non special need population. It follows that if the CCAA does its best to assess the condition of the children being referred, and choose to define non permanent corrected medical condition as non special need, they can not and should not be faulted. Let's not forget that China did not solicit the world, and the United States in particular to adopt their children. We went knocking on their door, and lately, the waiting crowd is wanting to knock down the door, grab the babies and run. China never advertised its international adoption program as the predictable, ethical, efficient, low risk program that beats all others. That is a conclusion drawn by the adoptive parents themselves. The adoption agencies described the program as such, and they were correct, at least in the recent past. If the character and nature of China's international adoption program is changing, it's for the PAPs and the agencies to find out for themselves and communicate that to one another.

On a more cynical level, for those who find China or the CCAA manipulative, arbitrary, and unresponsive to the people/children it serves, which part of "a communist government" do you not understand? Let me spell it out for you, IT IS NOT A DEMOCRACY, and you are not even one of it's citizens. What kind of rights and political representation do you think you are entitled to?

I am just as worried as any waiting parent, if not more so given my personality. I am just as selfish in wanting healthy, happy children. Those who know me know that I am easily stressed. My motto in life is: the solution to problems is not to create problems. I do sometimes wonder if I am tempting fate to adopt again when I already have three literally gorgeous, healthy as can be, and smart babies. But, for what ever reason, I/we, were driven to want another. So I am committed, and my heart already engaged. Even though I can't predict the future, I know that when my child is here, I do not want to have written, or have thought anything that she might find hurtful. I am her mother. Perhaps that should serve as an internal yardstick for PAPs dueling it out on adoption forums. What would my child think, how would my child feel, if he or she ever chance upon these discussions?

Up a Notch Racism

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 03:23:00 +0000

I do not like the Rumor Queen. I do not like the site. However, I visit and read the posts and discussions. I need the information and for now the China Adopt Talk site is where people go to share information regarding China adoption. It bothers me that I have to visit that site to get information, but so be it. Why do I read the discussions? I sometimes wonder.

I checked out some of the blogs that were referenced on the Rumor Queen forum regarding "racism". They are mostly blogs by trans- racial adoptees. They experience and describe a peculiar form of racism that results form having internalized the persona of the "superior race"growing up, but are then regarded by the rest of the world as NOT of the "superior race". By definition, what ever amount of racism these individuals experience, it has to be more than what their parents/families experience (which is none), because their parents are of the "superior race" themselves. That is distinctively different from the typical immigrant experience where the second generation tend to be better assimilated and experience less "racist moments" than their parents and are constantly reminded by their parents how lucky they are to be able to grow up in America. After reading these blogs, it is understandable that the white adoptive parents worry about the racial discriminations that their children are likely to face yet that themselves have no experience with. How can they help their children? Unfortunately, how some of these trans-racial adoptive parents (the Rumor Queen type) address that concern is often offensive and racist in the extreme. Why they need to claim superiority on a problem (racial discrimination) that's better left unexperienced and of which they lack any perspective on is really kind of strange.There is no pride in being discriminated against, really, I kid you not.

For starters, It's all about Them. (A pretty universal complaint regarding racism from all parties involved.) They are concerned about racism toward female Asian Americans only because they have adoptive children from China (or substitute Asian country of your choice). They don't care "sh*t" about Asians Americans or any other racial minorities for that matter. They may pretend they do, and sometimes they pretend so hard they convince themselves but nobody else. The "other minorities" exist to serve as examples for them to make a point. It's always if a black person this or if a black person that. Personally, if I were black, I would get pretty p*ssed at being the "gold standard" for other minorities. Why don't they use themselves as examples? After all, white Americans have many negative stereotypes of their own, and in case they haven't noticed, they are not the majority or superior race where their daughters came from. What infuriates me the most is how readily they gang up to stump on any Asian that gets in their way to eradicate racism for their daughters, even when they are wrong (spoken from personal experience by the way). They can't seem to grasp that not everything that distinguish a person as Chinese is bad, not every un-American trait is a negative stereotype, and not everybody wants to be "colorless".

They are pretty brutal with fellow white citizens who have not immersed themselves in the trans-racial adoptive culture as well. Why can't people just educate themselves for my family's sake is sort of the attitude. Why can't people treat us just like everyone else but behave with impeccable sensitivity around my children because they are not white and are obviously adopted? Really one does feel sorry for the children. But the self-righteousness of the parents is not justified. If they really care that much about "The Children", then don't adopt them, just donate the money so they can stay with their biologic family or at least lead a good life in their own country. The amount of money spent on these children on a daily basis in America will more than compensate for permanent foster families who may even be the children's biologic extended families. If , like us, you adopt because of your own selfish needs to love and beloved, internationally because of its relative ease compared to domestic adoption, at least have the tolerance to put up with the imperfect world as you suffer it because you created it yourself. Occasionally, one also hear from trans racial adoptive parents who adopt as a part of their efforts to combat racism, prevent population growth, or avoid childbirth...and China because they have always been drawn to it ever since they were little girls (growing up in Kansas?). That would be during the cultural revolution when China was CLOSED to the world and its own past! What were they being drawn by?

These white adoptive parents insist that because they have researched and read all about racism toward female Asian Americans, they understand it better than the oblivious Asian American women themselves. Yes, they claim to feel my pain more than me, and they are also entitled to tell me what I should and should not find offensive or discriminatory!? The presumption and arrogance of these white women are mind boggling to someone who has never had the privilege to be of the "superior race".

Striking are these women's obvious resentments toward Asian American women who refuse to subscribe to the white agenda. They have no problems with Asians whom they regard as foreign. Chopsticks, Chinese food, Chinese folklore are all to be embraced and respected for their foreignness. They are all too willing to take on the White Men's or Women's burden. They just can't stomach Chinese Americans who don't share their feelings but are just as American as they are. They are worse than people who harbor racism based on ignorance, or are just ignorant period. These are intelligent and articulate people with influence who exercise the White Person's prerogative when they are threatened by others who are different but equally powerful. I do realize that the "all must think and feel just like me and nothing I say, think, or do can be wrong" is a personality disorder that exist in all races, not just people "without color". But when these people happen to be white and decide to combat racism, they have just taken racism to the next level, a much more subversive and dangerous realm. Now imaging little Chinese girls growing up calling these people mommy. They may love you, but they really wish deep down that you are "colorless". Nevertheless, they love you despite all that because they are such wonderful colorblind human beings...and when you run in to other Chinese women, just assume that they don't know anything about China, being Chinese or Chinese American, certainly not as much as your mommy who puts you in Chinese school and has the money to take you (back?) to China for heritage tours every year. Many Chinese immigrants have to save up for years to go back home you know, so how can they understand China like my family? Besides Chinese people in America don't seem to like me very much, wonder why?

Failing to acknowledge that they are indeed privilege to be white in America, lacking the humbleness to admit that they can not always understand other people's sufferings make them think that they are so special that their children should be exempted from the price of immigration that every immigrant and their children have to pay. Loss of culture, loss of biologic extended family, loss of the certainty of belonging are not unique to their children but are the accepted price immigrants, their children, and their children's children all pay...mitigated only when they become equal parts of the American society, when their race is no longer viewed as a liability, dissolved though not necessarily resolved when completely assimilated and intermarried. So what motivates the Rumor Queen and her likes to reinforce to an Asian woman that being Asian is and always will be a liability in America even when that Asian woman argued (uncharacteristically) with them that need not be so? Pure, simple, unadulterated racial superiority?

Why I read the Rumor Queen? Because it allows me to better understand how racism really manifests itself in America. They have convinced me that racism is rampant in America and infiltrates into every aspects of our lives.

I-171!

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 04:21:00 +0000

NOTICE OF FAVORABLE DETERMINATION CONCERNING APPLICATION FOR ADVANCE PROCESSING OF ORPHAN PETITION

We received our I-171 today! This is a major milestone for international adoption. It means that the US government has given us permission to adopt a child from China.

I Fedex'ed the document to Hand in Hand within the hour of getting it out of our mailbox so they will have it by tomorrow morning. Now all we need to do is to certify and authenticate our dossier then we can submit our dossier to China. The real wait begins when we get a log in date from the CCAA.

Blogs and More..

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 19:18:00 +0000

I haven't posted in while, but it's not because I have lost interest in blogging. Far from it, in fact, I was busy checking out all the different blogging services and testing them out (while neglecting my children). It did not take long for me to decide that Wordpress is too user unfriendly for me. Took me a while to decide on Type Pad. I liked the increased options and flexibility, but really was not thrill to have to pay for it. Plus, it's not integrated with google's Picasa which I use. Fortunately, Apple announced the arrival of iLife 08 with much improved iPhoto and .mac. The new features will allow me to easily create a more complete website. I am waiting for my order from Apple to arrive to start on my project. I think I'll have a different page for each of my kids, a web gallery and a link to my blogger blog.

I am not too unhappy about the new iMac release, even though I just bought mine a few month ago. I really like the previous all white design and find the new metallic look too "cold". No real big changes in hardware other than the expected improvement with advancing time. I wish they come out with Leopard already! I want to do a clean install and really don't want to have to move too much data around. I really like computers.

Auguest Referrals

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 23:12:00 +0000

Referrals arrived today for LID (logged in date) 11/8-11/21 /05(maybe a lucky 11/22?) families. For the expedited due to Chinese heritage group, the June 2006 families have received referrals. A CERG (Yahoo group for expedited due to Chinese heritage) family who should be expedited is anxious because they have not gotten theirs. Will have to wait to see what the glitch is.

With each batch of referrals, the slow down gets worse because only part of a month gets matched each month. It will take at least 4 months to get through November 2005 for the regular group, though there are hopes that things may speed up a bit after November, it being a "big"month. For the expedited group, the CCAA seems to refer either half of a month at a time or a whole month every other month. I think they just sort of eyeball the pile and try to keep the expedited group about 6 months ahead of the regular group. I was hoping that they would expedite base on rate of referral rather than a fixed interval, but they don't seem to be doing that.

What that means for us is uncertain since we are so early in the process we are not even logged in yet. If the current rate of referral does not speed up, then people who are just paperchasing now would not get a referral for 10 years! That's essentially saying that the adoption will not happen. Though there are rumors, the CCAA has stated recently that they are not planning to shut down the IA program. One can only assume that they have a way to speed things back up so the referral time remains reasonable (reasonable being 3 years for now).

Dramatic speed up is expected after the May 2007 group has been processed because of the rule change, but there are still 18 months of backlog (or 4.5-6 years at the current rate!) until then. For the expedited group the back log is 11 months until May 2007, so 22 months. (Though again, the CCAA seems to want to keep the difference between the 2 groups at a consistent 6 month. They sometimes skip several months of the expedited group...) I am not counting the months after May because it is possible that the number of applicants can drop so much after May 2007 that families receive a referral as soon as they pass review (not likely, but just to simplify my calculation). That can be approximately 5 years from now. I suppose I am still young enough for a baby 5 years from now, do not think 10 years would be possible though. The lady that runs Hand in Hand in Albion will probably have retired by then!

Many are hoping for a significant change in the rate of referral after next year's Olympic. The hypothesis being that the slow down was done to avoid the potential negative image of China being viewed as the "great baby exporter" while the reporters roam around Beijing looking for stories. I can sort of see that happening, we won't know until next year this time though. I won't comment if that's right or wrong, good or bad, international adoption is a very complex issue in and of itself. Obviously, the Chinese and the adoptive parents are coming from two very different perspectives and I am both Chinese (well, Taiwanese anyways) and an adoptive parent.

The CCAA maintains that the slow down is due to simple supply and demand, i.e. a dramatic increase in the number of adoptive parents and decrease in the number of babies abandoned, coupled with increase in domestic adoption. Other issues mentioned in the China adoption community include the change in how orphanage donation (fees) from international adoption are now distributed across the province rather than just to the particular SWI (social welfare institutes) involved, therefore decreasing the motivation and/or the resources that SWI's have to make their babies paper ready for international adoption. Orphanages (SWI's) are now increasing their fees, after 15 years. Regardless of whether or not things will speed up, I think the fee increase is more than reasonable. The USCIS increased the I-600A fee to a total of $730 from $685, the certificate of citizenship fee is also to be increased...etc. Things are just more expensive in China now, as it is in the US, compared to 15 years ago. I think there are some uneasiness that allowing orphanages to charge their own fee can lead to corruption and even some form of baby trafficking. I am hoping that the CCAA will issue guidelines for the SWI's to charge what they need based on the local situation but avoid the scandals of corruption to taint what has been a "model program" for international adoption.

For now, I will be thrilled to see our I-171H before 8/11/07, and hopefully get logged in by September.

Transracial Adoption

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 03:15:00 +0000

Every life is made up of many different parts. Few are more than the sum of their parts. They create with what they have something wondrous, exceptional and unique. Most manage to fit their pieces together well enough to form something comprehensible. Some are just not good with puzzles.

One Thing That Money Can't Buy

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 03:21:00 +0000

Snuffles 25th Anniversary Edition by Gund at FAO Schwarz
Not even from Ebay

Words to Live By

noreply@blogger.com (Kristina) — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 03:45:00 +0000

I was working on a post about being an Asian American or more specifically a Chinese American. After a a few days, I got bored. It's just not a problem or even much of an issue for me so what I wrote sounded contrived...as if I was having an academic argument for the argument's sake. Same as if I try to give people insights on how to loose weight. Even after gaining 40 plus pounds with my last pregnancy, I would only diet until the next meal. I still lost all the weight and some more in three months. I have no insight at all on weight loss because I never have to work much to lose weight. That certainly does not mean that obesity is not a problem, just not mine. Ditto for being a 1.5 generation Chinese American.

Fortunately for my blogging career I happened to chance upon the book "Words to Live By", a selection of C.S. Lewis's writings, at Borders today.

"for Scripture here cometh to our aide with this excellent reason, that we respect not what men merit of themselves but looke only upon God's image which they bear."

So often in the hospital , especially in the ICU, I question the value of my work. Many of my patients seem so "unworthy and irredeemable". So many of their illnesses stem directly from repeated self abuse and total disregard for the cost incurred to their families and society. Yet I and most of my colleagues carry on, repeatedly patching these people up just so they can return again in a few weeks. I have always thought that I do what I do because it's my job and I just want to do it well, and besides, it's business, I am just providing a service that I get paid for. Tonight, I am both humbled and inspired by that quote. I am reminded again of how important and powerful the influence of Christianity is on our society and how infrequently we give credit to the Bible.

Tomorrow is Sunday, we are taking our children to a new Chinese church close to my parents house so they can participate in Sunday school. If they learn nothing from me, they will learn how to be Christians.