Pursuit of Glory

I am an Apple Fanboy (err man…)

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 03:46:00 +0000

Link to I am an Apple Fanboy (err man…) at the new address.

Okay, okay once again update your RSS feeds and at the very least drop by and leave a comment making fun of my passions for Apple so I know everyone is on board with the new address...

Spiritual Balance

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 03:40:00 +0000

Link to Spiritual Balance at the new address.

Is that all there is?

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 15:30:00 +0000

Here is a link to Is that all there is?, at the new home of Pursuit of Glory.

Politics: Sacred, Secular, or Both?

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 05:35:00 +0000

Link to Politics: Sacred, Secular, or Both? at Pursuit of Glory's new web address.

Colorado Trip Report (Maroon Bells)

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 16:44:00 +0000

Here is a link to the Colorado Trip Report (Maroon Bells) at the new web address.

DOPA

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 16:42:00 +0000

Link to DOPA at new web address.

New Address

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 13:36:00 +0000

If you have come to my blog for the first time I would like to redirect you to the new address for this blog. Pursuit of Glory now resides at www.pursuitofglory.com. Thanks for stopping in.

Update Your RSS Aggregators

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 04:34:00 +0000

It has been a while in the process. Between moving, attending a conference, vacation, and a new puppy I have finally got my new address hammered out. The new site will continue to change for a while, but my blog's "forever home" is now at www.pursuitofglory.com, or take the shortcut Pursuit of Glory. May God use it as He wishes.

If you are a subscriber drop by and leave a comment so that I know when everyone has made the jump and I can shut this site down.

Passionate Spirituality

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 19:46:00 +0000

The following are a few note segments form a session by Fritz Dale, titled Passionate Spirituality. Occasionally when at a conference you attend a session where you feel as though, “If this was the only good thing I gain from this trip it was well worth the expense.” This session was it for me. Though Fritz knew he was talking to a room full of pastors and church leaders he made a strong plea and case for the need to walk strong with the Lord.

Americans are far more interested in generic spirituality than religion. We as a nation are looking for something greater than ourselves.

Discussed movie “Crash”

Paraphrased quote from Crash.
“In LA nobody touches you, nobody touches one another they crash into each other to feel and be felt.”

“Acedia- from the Greek word literally meaning caring free, is often defined as spiritual laziness, putting off what God asks you to do, or not doing it at all. Acedia implies the attitude of a person that goes from fury to laziness in a second.” (Wikipedia)

Are we too often spiritually lazy?

A crisis of faith is when we have no strength to follow God and don’t want any. A phase of emptiness on the inside with a maintenance of the outward spiritual looks. We in essence become performers. When we focus on people we are manipulated by the expectations of others.

Christian spirituality fails when it becomes about our experience and falls away from God’s identity.

Passionate spirituality is not:
A formula.
A personality.
A one-time experience.
A location.
An experience or lifestyle.
A lifelong process for becoming a better person (That cannot be the end goal).

We are not the subject, nor the action. The more there is of us the less there is of God.

Passionate spirituality is:
A work of God.
A movement towards God.
A process, a lifelong pursuit.

Colossians 1:27 To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory

Scriptures considering location in relation to God
James 4:8
Psalm 73:26-28

Christians often live with no margin in our lives.

Our culture is cursed with superficiality, what we need is people of depth.

Don’t sacrifice depth for area.

In this life we will never be congruent with the image and person of Christ, but what a great pursuit that is.

Passionate Spirituality is being full of Jesus and full of life.

“The glory of God is most visibly seen in a person who is fully alive.” Iraneus, 2nd Century Theologian.

Christians can often be half dead in a world that is seeking to be fully alive.

• Galatians 5: Reccomended exercise, read an entire gospel in one time spell and look for how Jesus lived the fruit of the spirit.

Full of Life: A workable description.
Full of convictions, you’re willing to die for something.
Having a purity of heart.
To will one thing.
Full of courageous faith. Willing to take bold steps.
Contagious. People liked Jesus.
People of joy. Enjoyment.
Filled with gratitude, not owed anything.
Full of adventure.
Authenticity.
Selfless.

Spirituality is precision in the scriptures.

A Holy Balance:

God’s Work
Romans 8:29
John 15:4-5
Galatians 5:22-25

Our Response to God’s gracious and loving work
1 Peter 5:6
John 1:12
James 1:21
Matthew 7:7-8

A Tension
1 Cor 15: 10
Phil 2:12-13

A New Home

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 13:49:00 +0000

You know that guilty feeling you get when you change your email address or phone number. I always fear that I am causing and inconvenience for my friends. All this to say I am apologizing in advance and encouraging you to keep your eyes open as this blog gets ready to move to a new address soon, a permanent address. Stay tuned…

Contemplative Blogging

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 13:38:00 +0000

In reflection of my intents and purposes for this blog I find myself categorizing each of my posts into three categories contemplative, reflective, or relative. Reflective being those on which I share thoughts on something I did to inform. Relative being posts that relate to other posts are articles and simple serve to pass on information with a few personal thoughts. Contemplative, where I actually mull different ideas and thoughts in an effort to build a deeper understanding.

Each type has its own set of benefits and strengths as learning is concerned. Communication is at the center of each, a skill worth much time to develop. As I consider the contemplative posts it is those posts that help me to build understanding around various texts and events that I am considering. The thought process involved as paired with critical comments from readers, I believe, has the potential to be more valuable in my personal learning than any formal classes have been. The cause for this, I think, is that I am often disengaged in lecture style formats but am able to fully engage when I am involved in the discovery/learning process.

I am currently mulling over ideas about how to use the read/write web in the context of children’s ministry. I believe that they potential for this to help our children to become mission-focused storytellers are great.

Distractions

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 13:37:00 +0000

It seems like there is always something that fights for our attention. I hope that any of us can name a hundred things that we want to do, learn or accomplish. The problem comes when we focus on so many things that we lose the time we need to build relationships and connect with the Lord.

Amy and I closed on our first house on Tuesday of last week and have been spackling, painting and cleaning since. Currently we are on the road to Denver, CO for a much needed time away. I will be able to blog a bit with the distractions of paint chips and broken light fixtures behind me.

I am attending the Evangelical Free Church’s leadership conference titled B the Tree. I will attempt to do some live conference notes/thoughts.

After that we are headed off to the Rocky Mountain backcountry for some unplugged backpacking and fly-fishing. Every time we drive out this way I feel as though I am being called home. Possibly the Rockies are holding our future residence.

The "Correct" Way of Life

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Sun, 18 Jun 2006 03:40:00 +0000

After a long day of two very tedious tasks, I am winding down. First, I spent today trying to train a brother in Christ how to use Final Cut Studio for our church's video venue. I realized he was a quick learner but I am a slow teacher! How do you teach something in two hours that took 6 months to teach yourself. I have no doubt he will surpass my skills quickly if he so desires, but of no thanks to me. On top of that, I was teaching myself a new skill with LiveType, learning by doing can be fun and it can be a BIG headache. Task number two, packing! Amy and I will close on our first house on Tuesday. We are excited to move next Saturday but there is a lot to do between now and then. It is funny the things we are willing to get worked up about when stresses get high.

It occurred to me today that life passes so quickly. I am what some might call a procrastinator. My wife is the complete opposite and she is beginning to win me over to her way of thinking. I always argue that when time gets pinched I produce good work quickly, thus using my time efficiently. Yet, I am finding that the farther ahead of the scale that I work the more apt I am to make connections that I would not have made if I was pushing something right up to the deadline. I take on many tasks and complete them well, but I think I want to take on fewer tasks and complete them extremely well and then pass the to torch to others so that I can take on my next big project. I would love to hear about how each of you spend your time.

A lot of this thinking comes from the parable of the talents. I stumbled upon a post titled Parable of the Talents by Miguel Ghulin today. His musings on his current situation really makes me consider the question that often haunts me, "What will it take to finish well?" I often fear that I don't have the fortitude to finish well, but luckily I will not be racing alone.

I love the setting sun after a strong storm. Glorious night!

VBS Recap (Part 1 of 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Sat, 17 Jun 2006 19:33:00 +0000

To anyone who has directed a VBS I salute you and for anyone who has volunteered for a VBS I thank you on behalf of your director who I am sure is very grateful for your service. We used the Jerusalem marketplace curriculum from Group. JM was last years VBS, but we don’t do a VBS every year so we used some left over funds in 2005 to buy curriculum for 2006. Yet we modified a lot of it as we went. The primary purpose for using group’s format was the potential for relationships to be built between the kid’s and adults. A few of the things that we changed:

-Added plenty of bible memory.
-Set up a dual rotation schedule ½ in marketplace ½ in worship rotation.
-Moved the marketplace inside
-Changed the synagogue school to bible stories instead of traditions.

We tried to really pull in the surrounding community ~800 homes (our geographic neighbors) by hanging posters and sending multiple mailings but came out with little success. What are some of the things you do to reach out to the geographic neighbors?

Overview:
We divided the kid’s into the twelve tribes of Judah. The tribes were multi aged, which works AMAZINGLY well. I love to see the older kid’s shepherd the younger and the younger look to the older one’s for guidance. The themes were based around the last days of Christ’s life and important attributes of His character.

Day 1 Jesus is King
Day 2 God’s Love
Day 3 Christ’s Love
Day 4 Jesus’ Death
Day 5 Jesus Resurrection

This allowed us to spread the gospel presentation
out over multiple days, which we really wanted to do so that children could explore the story of Christ with their parents.

From there we had a large group gathering where the students sat with their tribes and I would give them that day’s piece of the gospel. We kept the talking short and allowed for a lot of discovery through discussion. I would present a little in character and then pose a question for discussion or a challenge that prompted the groups to work together in gaining a deeper understanding of the gospel.

After this time we sent half of the students to the marketplace and half of the kid’s to our education/worship rotation. We attempted to bring all of the kids back together so that we could dismiss them safely.

If you choose this format, pray for good weather, but be prepared for bad. We had three of the five days outside and the other two were rained in. All in all it went well. Above is a picture of our meeting area. We found that shepherd’s hooks were a great tool to use for hanging tribe banners.

Our Decorations were very cheap. We have a big open room (when walls are detracted) in our church. We used different colored bed sheets and stapled them to the ceiling for each marketplace booth. Each booth had four sheets two had both ends stapled to the ceiling to create a canopy feel and the other two hung down to create doors. We used wood palettes from a local store to give us walls to separate each booth. These worked very well.

Instead of doing worship as a big group me made a rotation out of it and allowed our leader to have smaller groups. At the end of the week we sang as a whole group and the tears flowed! Make sure you give your song leader a break. We goofed in the schedule and neglected that. She lost her voice once, but did an AMAZING JOB!

Synagogue school was great! Instead of doing Jewish traditions we had a Rabbi do an Old Testament story and then a “Christian from Kansas” connect that story to the gospel. What a great team of storytellers. They integrated the Jewish traditions and it added a lot to the stories.

As always it is the behind the scenes people who save the day! Devote the enough time to praying over the tribes and making sure you have a good system to welcome visitors. I overlooked that but these two saved me more than once!

Digital Learning Exercise

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Mon, 05 Jun 2006 20:54:00 +0000

Though I have moved out of the classroom, I am still fascinated by education and feel like it is important to stay in touch with what is going on.

My favorite part of education is technology integration. Today I stumbled upon a piece of stop motion animation that I love. In this linked post you will find a movie of The Good Samaritan acted out frame by frame with Lego figures in a modern day setting. Here are a few of the many reasons why I hope our children would be presented with projects like this on a regular basis:

1.) Engaging, you would be hard pressed to find an elementary or high school aged student who would not love to do this project. At the age of 24 I would love to do this project. This will also do wonders for your classroom management.

2.) Communication, as students work on projects like this they are gaining great communication skills. Notice the attention to detail given along with emotional cues the story gives via music and sound effects. Another child watching this film will understand the story better than I could explain it, as this medium is part of their everyday language.

3.) Retention, I would bet against all odds that Joel understands the story of the Good Samaritan extremely well. With all the time he has put into the project I would also wager that the things he has learned from those scriptures will never leave him.

When purchasing houses in the future, when Amy and I have children, you better believe that I will spend time in potential schools learning about their technology plans and projects from grade to grade. It's not that technology, in and of itself, makes us smarter, but it makes us more efficient and better communicators, which are two keys to success.

Wes Fryer, often talks about digital story telling but today he discussed it in terms of the church. I could see something like this creating commotion in just about any church if we tried to integrate it into the SS curriculum. That is unfortunate, as Wes points out this is simply telling a story. Telling a story in a format that is very comfortable to this generation of children. I would like to see things like this become the 21st century craft project for SS classes. Instead of making picture frames (not that there is anything wrong with that), I see this as a better use of time in most situations. I am starting a summer program and the wheels are turning.... :) Stay tuned for what comes out of that.

Great work Joel and thanks for sharing!

Living it Out

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 16:20:00 +0000

My wife would tell you that I tend to be an idealistic person. I would tell you the same. I have high expectations that I try to pair with great amounts of grace. I find that it is easier to be gracious with those I work with than my wife whom I live with. Thus I place a huge amount preassure on her and myself to be something, that God might be working to bring to fruition, on my own time table (not a good thing).

I don't think idealism is bad but I am realizing the God's time frame is so much better than my own.

My biggest problem lies in the field of living out the very things that I expect of myself and others. For example, am I a disciplined student of Christ, do I manage my time well, am I a strong spiritual leader to my family? Another problem presents itself in measuring the success of our efforts. Just like in school, I believe our lives should be reflected upon and evaluated. Without a tangible measure of our efforts we are chasing ghosts. So how do we measure the success of our lives. Two ways:

Concrete: These are specific things that cyou can chart if wanted.
-Did I lead our family in prayer (aside from dinner) 6 times this week.
-Did I exercise for 30 minutes 4 times this week?

Abstract: These are things that are hard to measure but essential to consider.
-Is my wife happy (Not always based on my actions but I play a big part in this).
-Do those under my leadership feel equiped.

Reflection is essential to learning. I believe time must be taken each day to learn from the lessons that God presented on that day. Now if I would only take the time to do this myself.

***As a side note I found this blog titled Amazing Time Management Strategies, and I really like the practical advice that it gives.

Why "Pursuit of Glory"

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Thu, 18 May 2006 20:23:00 +0000

I have often wondered about the purpose of blogging and I have 100 different thoughts/opinions about why I write here. Yet I feel like blogging for me is a chance to reflect upon my own thoughts and sharpen them. Writing a post takes me a lot of time because I write and rewrite as I learn how to communicate clearly and concisely. Funny enough, there are still many times where I have no idea what I was trying to communicate about X, Y, or Z.

This brings me to the title of this blog. I love the word glory. The word in and of itself screams of something great. I have looked it up many times in dictionaries only to be disappointed at the lack of depth those definitions hold. When I see the word glory I often think of Christ. I have come to love Him dearly yet he still seems like a huge mystery. So here I have this Man who is far and away the most amazing person ever to live, based on what I know about Him, and yet there is still so much that I don't know. He is truly Glory personified. As I live my life I have come to believe that the more I know about Christ the ugly layers of sin will fall away. In the presence of greatness our hearts, too, desire to be great. Just like when we watch a movie about war heroes or sports legends we often walk away resolved to show more, courage, strength, fortitude, etc. Since we have been commanded to follow Christ I have realized that I will not be successful unless I am actively engaged in the pursuit of Glory.

Uncomfortable Situations

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Tue, 16 May 2006 05:01:00 +0000

I can be one of those people who like to avoid uncomfortable situations. It is often so much easier to hope that someone else will take care of that awkward situation. Maybe it is talking with a loved one about something hard, or something that they could find offensive. Maybe it is stepping out and welcoming someone who doesn't look like they will mesh with out own personality or belief system. For teachers it could be making that hard phone call to a student's parents. It could be parents admitting personal fault to their children. We all have them, they are those situations where you come to the point of decision and you will look for anything else to do besides dealing with the "elephant in the room".

Whatever the uncomfortable situation might be, it is often those situations that are exactly in the center of God's Will for us at that moment. It is in those situations that we are forced to rely upon the Lord for strength that goes much deeper than our own. Oh Lord, for the strength to lead boldly.

Reflections of Glory

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Fri, 12 May 2006 19:04:00 +0000

I stumbled upon this post titled "What Do I Want to Do?" by Wes Fryer. I encourage everyone to take the time to read it for a small example of, what I believe to be, faith in the "real" world. Through Wes's blog I am always encouraged to pursue God, even though his posts are not always about spiritual issues. Regardless of what he writes about it is obvious that he gives his job a great amount of effort. It is apparent that he believes the work he is doing will help people. I love how he serves the education community freely and faithfully, so that when he does speak of his faith he in essence becomes a reflection of glory for the Lord in his field. As Christ came into this world not to be served but to serve. Wes seems to be a classic case of a Genesis 12 fulfillment who has been blessed with much (skills, knowledge, etc.) so that he can be a blessing (educating, leading, etc.). I don't know Wes aside from a few emails back and forth but I am sure the work he does allows him to have many conversations about the things in life that mean even more to him than his job.

As our Sr. Pastor is on sabbatical and studying "Spirituality and Work" I found myself asking this question, can everyone complete the tasks of their daily jobs with a sense of purpose that is greater than what they are actually working towards? I don't want to convey the common thought that we go to work so that we can be a witness for the Lord and that there is nothing greater than that. But is it possible to do our jobs so well because we see that there is a motivation in the jobs that we do above just completing the task or creating opportunities for conversation. That motivation being an attempt to do our best to reflect the person of Christ. I don't feel like I am making a lot of sense here, let me frame it in a different way. I would have really liked to sit in a chair that Jesus made or eat at a table He had made because I am confident that they were probably really good pieces of furniture, made with all the passion that Christ had for the job He was doing. I can't see Christ working half-heartedly at anything. Is there a way for every person to work at their jobs with the same passion that Christ poured into his work, study and teaching.

Here are my last questions that I have yet to answer:

Can we all live our lives and work at or jobs with the passion for making things good and serving, like we see in Wes's post?

If we can but we cannot at the job we work at currently, will it require a change of attitude or change of job so that we can?

Can you imagine a world of workers who delight in what they do and believe that their work is essential to the forward progress of all those around us?

The Great Race

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Fri, 12 May 2006 03:28:00 +0000

Well on Sunday April 23 Scott and I ran a race that I look forward to running again next year (Right Scott?). It would be fun to run the entire circuit but I don't think I could survive a summer of these races! I am just now feeling like I have my legs back from this one. It was labeled as an adventure triathalon and was put on by Blue Hills Adventures out of Manhattan. Here are a few pictures for your enjoyment.

Scott had before mentioned that this was his first "real" competitive race outside of swimming. And I hadn't raced since Jr. High. You can imagine the shell shock I had when we see all of $1500 + bikes and loads of gear that people had laid out in Transition Area 1 (TA1).

Here we are at the briefing where they tell us that the course is minimally marked and you can see most of the checkpoints from the race route. After this they told us we would start with one person on a bike and the other running. The person with the blue mark was the lucky one here as they were able to start on the bike. Darn the luck. After finding this out we proceeded to the start line where they handed us a rope. Many of the experienced racers began chuckling. I did not. It turns out that not only was I running first but I was going to be tied to Scott as he rode his bike.

We fell to the back of the pack fairly quickly as I am not a good runner. After a little less than a mile or so of running next to Scott we arrived back at TA1. From here we started a long run around the Rocky shore of Tuttle Creek and around a few trails. It was at this point that we began to pass people fairly consistently. Though we were passing a few teams I lagged behind Scott. I would like to blame it on the fact that I had already run a ways, but I am sure the quality of shape I was in had something to do with it as well.

From here we arrived back at TA1 were Scott and I started a 2-3 mile kayak in the open water of Tuttle Creek Reservoir. Not much to note here. With a higher combined weight we did not do so well in the kayaks falling behind again. At this point of the race I got my first paralyzing cramp in my right calf, not a good thing, in a tiny inflatable kayak! After the Kayak the race took on a new look for us, transitioning to the bikes was a great thing.

Biking was our strong point. We passed several people as we navigated down the highway that led to a road east of Tuttle. Upon arriving at Rocky Ford Fishing area we had our first technical challenge. Scott and I had one hand tethered to each other and then was forced to balance a tennis ball on a board balanced with our other two hands as we navigated an obstacle course. It took us twice but we did not lose much time. From here we did a little off road biking.

Eventually we came to the spill way where we ran up to the actual flood gates and had to gather ten letters from school boxes and then unscramble them to spell "floodgates". This combination of sprinting and thinking was extremely hard at this point in the race. After running back to our bikes we had one check point left and it seemed as though we were home free and in the top ten, possibly. With about a half to full mile of biking to go downhill most of the way we figured we were in good shape to finish well. Until Scott yelled the bad news from behind, "Flat Tire!". I hopped off to go help and instantly both of my calves and quads cramped up leaving me in a world of pain. We watched as several teams passed while we fought the tire. In the end we finished 16th place with a time of 3:54:35. If was a great time!

A Few Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Thu, 11 May 2006 05:37:00 +0000

As I prepare for an upcoming VBS I am fascinated by the Jewish context in which Christ lived. For a good chunk of my Christian life I have viewed Judaism as a "bad" religion both past and present. Yet as I gain a better understanding of history and culture I am realizing that our Jewish heritage is very rich. Many Jewish students have the Pentateuch (first five books of the bible) memorized by age twelve and if they show promise in the scriptures will continue on and often have the entire old testament memorized in the ball park of 18 years of age. I am 24, and I would be lucky to claim to have 5 consecutive chapters under my belt.

Now I realize that there is a difference between reciting and becoming a disciple of Christ. Yet, do we as Christians invest the time that God desires us to invest in knowing Him? In what disciplines should that time be invested?

The more I know, the more I realize I don't know.

Honda Cog

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Sat, 06 May 2006 15:49:00 +0000

I spend a lot of time on computers and I think it is very amazing to see what they can do. Yet, in a world where most of what we see on TV or in magazines is constructed in a computer it is refreshing to see something that was still completed in the old fashioned way of trial and error.

Here are a few screen shots from the two minute commercial.

In addition to the pictures here are a couple of articles that explain the authenticity of the commercial from Snopes and the Telegraph.

Now for the Movie:

Edit: It is probably noteworthy to mention that this is a few years old. The sound on the video I posted is a little off which makes it look a little hoaxy, but if you google "Honda Accord Cog" you will find some high quality videos of this commercial.

Favorite Sign

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Fri, 05 May 2006 02:08:00 +0000

I had this picture sent to me today and it is officially my favorite sign.

I am thinking about getting one of these for the children's wing of Faith.

Led By God

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Barker) — Thu, 04 May 2006 03:55:00 +0000

What does it mean to be led by God?

As I was talking with my wife tonight we were talking about why I had taken on a specific responsibility. She asked two things:

1.) Was it something that I was doing to look good?
2.) Did I feel led to do it by the Lord?

The second question caught my attention and as I talked with my wife a few different pictures came forward in my mind.

1.) Is being led by God comparable to an owner walking his dog on a leash, determining the direction the dog will go? Thus, conveying an idea that being led by God is straightforward and clear to the one being led. If this is the case then I would say that I am not led that often, but it is a powerful experience when I am.

2.) Is being led by God comparable to an owner walking with his dog, without a leash, allowing the dog to go in the direction he chooses, while being influenced by all that his owner has taught him? Thus, being led by God is a matter of our own choosing as it relates to our understanding of the Master desires. If this is the case, I would say that I am led more often, but am often less confident about my leading.

Time to see what the bible has to say about this. If you have any bible verses that might help here, let me know.