Que Sera Sarah

Hello.

2014-06-16T00:02:00.001-05:00

I'm overhauling this nonsense blog. It's mainly lifestyle so I'm revamping it to illustrate that.

New posts to come.

Falling in love.

2013-05-05T04:58:00.000-05:00

I've fallen in love. The head over heels, love at first glance, wispy, floaty, feeling kinda silly, sort of love and it is divine. I should probably mention that I haven't fallen in love with a boy (because that is boring). I've fallen in love with The Militant Baker and with myself.

The Militant Baker is Jes, an amazing blogger who writes a lot about loving your body. I definitely recommend reading every single one of her blog posts. You will feel like you're on top of the world and beautiful because YOU ARE. The very first post I read from her site was "Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls....SO I WILL". If nothing, read that post!

I've absolutely hated the way I've looked almost my entire life. The first time I remember thinking I was too fat, I was in kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN. I had a family member tell me that if I got any fatter I wouldn't fit through the door. As these words were said to me, I hung my head and stared at my little dirt covered, sandaled feet and felt shameful about my body for the first time. The image of those white strappy sandals is seared into my brain and so is the hurt. I was called fat several more times throughout my childhood and into my pre-teens, mostly by adult family members.

Imagine telling this kid she won't fit through the door.

Now that I'm an adult, people have stopped calling me fat to my face. I guess those family members don't want to be rude (eye roll). And I can forgive them for not realizing how fragile the psyche of a child can be and for how many years I would spend agonizing over the way I look and how utterly unlovable I've felt, still feel at times. There are are a lot of reasons why those loved ones may have tried to make me feel bad. Maybe they weren't trying to make me feel badly at all. Maybe they were simply worried for my health and didn't realize they were being tactless. It doesn't matter now and they are still "loved" ones to me.

I wish I had known that someday it was going to get better and that "fat" is not a bad word. Being fat is not a bad way to be. All bodies are good bodies. If you don't think so, you're free to find a different blog to read. So many people say things along the lines of "Yeah, but being fat is not healthy. I'm just concerned about your health". Thanks for your concern but it is not wanted. Furthermore, you may not disguise your hate of my body behind the ruse of health. You could care less about my health --you just don't like looking at me and you are blinded by societies idea of beauty. To those people, I say: you are officially released from caring about me. I don't owe anyone an explanation as to why I look the way I do. Anything from a metabolic disorder to just eating badly is a valid reason. Why? Because it's not any of your goddamn business.

Loving myself has been a really long, windy, and uncomfortable-at-times road. I've disrespected my body and I've allowed others to disrespect it too. I've lost out on opportunities believing that I'm not pretty enough. I've searched high and low, very low, for the self love I never learned. When I had heard that you must love yourself before anyone else can love you, I thought it was bullshit. I dismissed it and continued down my path to self destruction. I kept hating myself internally but kept it a secret.

Fast forward to now, after therapy and one really upsetting situation later (dont' ask), I can say that I love myself more than not. I go back and forth between questioning myself and body positivity. I still have people in my life getting me down. But at least I know it's all a matter of opinion and no ones opinion is going to shake me. Sometimes people the furthest removed from issues having the biggest, stupidest voices in them.

More to come.

Melted Crayon Art

2013-02-24T23:06:00.001-06:00

Between now and my last post, I graduated and got a full-time job. That was pretty fast! I like my workplace and co-workers even though it isn't the best pay. I don't make enough to move yet but whatever.

In the meantime, I've been trying to do some creative things. It's hard because there isn't much space here for that. My art supplies alone are enough to fill my bedroom here so I don't have any of them. I did start a new stockpile in my closet though. I've been doing a lot on canvas like Adirondack ink on canvas and tile with spritzes of alcohol. It's an interesting effect.

What I like even better is crayon art. You know that really popular idea of lining up crayons at the top of a canvas and melting them with a blow dryer? This is like that except, I think, way cooler.

Here are two of mine:

This was my second attempt. On my first attempt I used random broken crayons from my daughters art stash. There were Crayola and then other random brands. I also used a blow dryer Those did not turn out so well but when I used all Crayola brand, it looked lovely. So definitely "splurge" for the good stuff. The other crayons barely melt and you get this clumpy sort of thing.

I also think my amazing blow dryer helped. It dries hair in 50% less time and as a result, I believe it melted the crayon quickly. It's the Infiniti Pro by Conair (and is hot pink).

Infiniti Pro by Conair

2012-12-02T02:23:00.001-06:00

It's official. I'm graduating in December. I'm currently looking for jobs and hopefully one day I can move out and have some space to breathe. Living with several other people is difficult for me, especially when I can't swap or have hobbies! (cue violin) We'll see though because I picked a field that pays in hugs and glitter.

I'm considering going all "one red paperclip" and attempting to trade a paperclip for a house. If you don't know, a fellow started with a red paperclip and kept trading for better things until he eventually ended up with a house. Maximum santzgaut! I may not be ambitious enough.

In 23 hours I'll be 23 years old! AGHHH

2012-11-17T01:21:00.000-06:00

Since the beginning of the semester, I've stopped having hobbies! My Etsy stores are in a perpetual vacation mode and all my stuff is boxed up. All my time goes into school work since I've taken too many classes, but there is definitely a creative aspect to early childhood education. And there is a light at the end of the tunnel considering this is my last semester. Hopefully I can get a job and stop being a poor person! Das is all maximum santzgaut!

Preschool Newsletter:

I used photoshop to create a fictional newsletter for my center "Sweet Peas". It turned out incredibly cute.

Felt Pizzas for the dramatic play center:

I cut cardboard boxes into two circles and covered them with off-white felt to create a pizza crust. Then I used felt to create the sauce and pizza toppings. Children can create their own pizzas in the dramatic play area and use the small pizza boxes to play restaurant. My preschoolers (ages 3-5) loved it.

Caterpillar ABC/Numbers felt game:

I bought several pieces of colored felt and cut them into circles. I added felt stick-on letters and numbers. I made a caterpillar head and children can create an entire caterpillar by using the pieces. Believe it or not, felt boards are a big subject in early childhood.

I'm not good with goodbyes so...Later.

Make Stuffs!

2012-03-15T00:27:00.001-05:00

I just opened my second Etsy shop (totally allowed), which is simply for supplies. I'll be moving a lot of the supplies from TheShriekingShack to Makestuffs. I have some new, really cute, stuff up now. Use "WELCOME10" for 10% until March 31.

Vampire Fang Charms!

Red Polka Dot Bows!

Pink and Red Kawaii Apple Cabochons!

I'm in love with these <3

Bicycle Charms!

Gingham Bows!

I'm really pleased with how these pictures came out! I made my own light box, which made all the difference :D

New Stuff

2012-03-14T02:06:00.000-05:00

Bow Tie Necklace in Pink or Red @ The Shrieking Shack

Soft Pink Bow Tie Necklace @ The Shrieking Shack

Black Bow Tie Necklace @ The Shrieking Shack

Burberry/Tartan Bow Tie Necklace @ The Shrieking Shack

This just in.

2011-09-04T16:17:00.000-05:00

I've been lazy lately but I've finally managed to finish two new HP items that I've had since early last year.

A tear-drop vial of Felix Felicis

Butterbeer and Polyjuice Potion Vegan Lip Balm

Beginnings

2011-07-25T22:10:00.000-05:00

This is for a swap that is not sending correctly via email.. So if you don't understand that's OKAY otherwise enjoy ;)

Etsy

2011-06-15T00:54:00.000-05:00

Key to my Heart Necklace (Brass) by plasticouture

I love this so much! It's romantic but more than that I really like it layered like in the picture. You could also give it the key to someone if you want, but I'd keep them together. TOO CUTE.

New Additions part 100

2011-05-27T06:35:00.001-05:00

Later this week I'll be adding a few totally new items to my shop, which will all be vegan lip balms made by yours truly. Here is a sneak peak at my favorite two:

Polyjuice Potion inspired lip balm. Other than "goblin piss" HP gives no clues as to what Polyjuice Potion tastes like. So I gave this lip balm a soothing eucalyptus flavor.

Buttbeer flavored lip balm, which I am most excited about. It definitely tastes like a "less sickly butterscotch". Very true to HP! Lily has already eaten an entire tube of this.

I have a lot more concocting to do (more flavors!), not to mention label tweeking, and finally shrink wrapping! Later dudes.

New additions part 99

2011-05-26T04:22:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I really love TV.

A necklace for a sewing enthusiast!

Luna Lovegood's Buttbeer Cork Necklace (inspired)

Earrings to match the cork necklace

Cyanide & Sprinkles

Etsy Finds: Day of the Dead

2011-05-24T00:13:00.001-05:00

My favorite theme is Day of the Dead. If I ever get to have a wedding this will be my theme.

Day of the Dead - Sugar Skull Charm Bracelet

$18.00 by runningwithscissorss

Sugar Skulls- Engraved Wedding Glass Toasting Flutes

$24.00 by Laserbird

Skull Kidney Earrings, white gold plated

$24 by balance9

Love Never Dies

$18 by chloeandsofiasmom

Dia de los Muertos Floral Sugar Skull Post Earrings

$9.95 by theringleader

Day of the Dead Ceramic Tile Coaster Set of 6

$24 by veganrobin

Advertising!

2011-05-22T06:00:00.001-05:00

An animated advertisement I created for my Etsy store, which will hopefully go on swap-bot via Project Wonderful:

New additions.

2011-05-20T05:07:00.000-05:00

If anyone can find a wholesale supplier with no minimum purchase (not from Etsy though) that supplies the 2 mL footed oval vials pictured here I will send them a free necklace.

Recent ATC's

2011-04-28T06:03:00.000-05:00

My recently made and favorite ATC's, which are all sadly sent off to their new owners.

This is probably my favorite. It's simple but the skull is hand drawn and pretty accurate. You can't tell, but I hand painted the skull metallic silver. Then that was glued onto Dutch ephemera and outlined in black. Much cooler is person. I did not want to give this away.

This is the first in a series of 7 Deadly Sins. I hand drew the body and then painted it.

This was for an ATC swap featuring our favorite lyric by our favorite band. My favorite band is the Weepies and my favorite lyric is from "The World Spins Madly On". It goes "I thought of you and where you'd gone and the world spins madly on".

Cryptozoology ATC. I did my second favorite cryptid the Lusca, which is a mammoth man eating, ship destroying octopus.

I also really loved this one. It was for Little Red Riding Hood, obviously. I didn't want to give it up. My partner did not seem to like it much. I was disappointed because I hand made vines with clay, hand drew and painted Little Red, and put together her basket.

Voodoo Dolls and Magic Wands

2011-04-26T06:45:00.001-05:00

I've joined some Pagan themed groups on Swap-bot. I'm not Pagan myself but I admire the religion for many reasons. It's got some great symbols, stories, and paranormal-esque (magic, spells, etc) beliefs. All of those things make for some neat swaps.

Last month I created an "authentic" magic wand. And tonight (or this morning really..it's 7 AM) I finished my voodoo doll. The wand is complete with a single terminated quartz Arkansas crystal, which all wands must have (apparently..I don't know much about wands). The voodoo doll was themed around "junk" or scraps of things we had. All parts of it had to be made from scraps, which was easy for me since I have a ton. It was themed "Banish the Junk Voodoo Doll". I almost want to keep it and Lily really wants it, but I've mad tons of voodoo dolls so I'll just make another.

I'm pretty proud of both. Here they are for your viewing pleasure:

I actually went outside and found a nice stick. I sanded it, added shimmer pigment to purple paint, and let it dry.

I affixed the crystal to the end with super glue and wrapped wire around it. You can see but I braided this silver/pink Martha Stewart ribbon and wrapped it around the base of the wire wrapped crystal. Then I added a silver gemstone.

The handle is made with this metallic silver Premo polymer clay. More braided ribbon and gemstones, plus a glass butterfly pendant.

Unneccessary Censorship: LOST

2011-04-25T21:38:00.000-05:00

My friend shared this on Facebook and it made me laugh so hard. Especially the last one.

New headbands

2011-03-25T05:27:00.001-05:00

I'm really like the pink bow one. And it was so easy to make.

New Packaging

2011-03-23T01:34:00.000-05:00

New packaging that is cuter and more cost effective:

Headband

2011-03-21T23:34:00.001-05:00

Tonight I started and finished my first sewing project. I've done a few before, mainly pillows, but never finished them because they were too...lumpy.

I know this one is simple but I thought it was a pretty cute idea. I plan on doing more but my fabric stash is sad.

New Stuff Part 2

2011-03-18T23:54:00.000-05:00

Little by little I'm adding new things to my Etsy, Cyanide & Sprinkles. I recently renamed it this because I sell on both ends of the spectrum, with dark things (like carved coffins and poison potions) and dainty, sweet things (like tea cup earrings).

Birds of a Feather earrings $9.00

Spot of Tea adjustable ring $4.00

Frog's Breath charm necklace (from the movie Nightmare Before Christmas) $7.99

The Harry Potter Potion Collection $8.99 each
Felix Felicis. Polyjuice Potion, Oculus, Wolfsbane, Magi-Me-More, Amortentia, and Veritaserum (more to come) Oculus, Wolfsbane, and Amortentia have a really amazing look to them. Visit the shop for a closer look.

Love Potion #9 keychain $5.99 or necklace $8.99
These both have a really intense pink shimmering elixir inside.

Spot of Tea necklace $5.00
There are two other styles like this.

Stop by the shop to see the rest of my items.

Etsy.

2011-03-07T05:23:00.000-06:00

I added a bunch of new items to my Etsy store including Felix Felicis (Liquid Luck), Pixie Dust, Love Potion No. 9, "V" from True Blood, and Arsenic! Head over to see what else HERE.

For Truth. For Justice. For Five Bucks a Day.

2011-02-16T03:38:00.000-06:00

I have been sent a "Juror Qualification Questionnaire". Many people would groan and think up some excuse as to why jury duty just isn't possible for them. Not me. Jury Duty has been the ONE constant aspiration I've had since seeing Jury Duty starring Pauly Shore when I was 6. It's a gem among many shiny Pauly gems, that movie. I'm serious. Jury Duty>Son in Law. I love Pauly Shore and I love the idea of jury duty. I'm pumped and have promptly filled out my questionnaire. It should soon be in the hands of Madison counties finest.

I've already started day dreaming about my interview with Carl Wayne Bishop's lawyers. Lucky for me, I don't interview well and any opinion I've ever had about anything flies out the window when I get nervous and I become a slobbering uneducated dummy. Unlucky for them I'm not on paper and plan to fight for Carl's immediate release, since he's innocent. He has taser marks on his neck, people!

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son about his Father

2011-02-05T03:30:00.002-06:00

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son about his Father

(a documentary by Kurt Kuenne)

Andrew Bagby

Dear Zachary is the true story of Andrew Bagby, his best friend Kurt, and every single person Andrew knew before his shocking murder. After ending a bizarre relationship with his girlfriend, Shirley Turner, Andrew was ready to get back to his life practicing medicine in Latrobe, Pennsylvania. Not even 24 hours after the break up, Andrew was found murdered in a nearby park. He was shot 5 times by Shirley. Soon after her arrest in Canada, Shirley announced that she was pregnant with Andrew’s child.

Filmmaker Kurt with Zachary

Andrew’s death was a tremendous tragedy, affecting everyone he had ever known. In his friend’s honor, filmmaker and director Kurt Kuenne dreamt of a tribute that recorded and memorialized everything anyone could ever know about Andrew and the amazing life he lead. It was his hope to one day pass his friend’s history to his unborn son he left behind, Zachary. With this idea in hand, Kurt left on a journey for which he had no specific time-line or end in mind. He would film until there was nothing left to learn about Andrew.

He had no idea the painful, beautiful, heart wrenching story that would unfold.

Andrew's parents with Zachary

For anyone who believes human beings are noble god-like creatures, with resilient hearts and minds, Dear Zachary will be the most riveting, Earth shattering film you’ll ever watch. And you’ll only watch it once, despite the fantastic musical scores, montages, and beautiful words spoken to a son about his father. It’s the worst story ever told in the most fantastic, beautiful, graceful way by fantastic, beautiful, graceful people. Though Dear Zachary illustrates humanity in its most disturbing hour, it also illustrates humanity at its most profound, remarkable and resilient.

-Sarah

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This is the only film Netflix has ever recommended to me with a 5 star rating according to my rating interests. Netflix hit the nail on the head and I also give this film 5 stars.

This is one those stories that makes you wonder why. Why oh why oh why? It's terrible enough of a story to lose your faith. For me, it confirms that we humans are alone. There is no higher power. There is no one watching over us. There is nothing out there. It's just us and that's all. Maybe that in itself is a tragedy. But the brighter side to a story like this and the revelations like mine, is that humans are awe inspiring. The resilience of the human heart is better than any desperate prayer ever to a pretend man in the sky. It makes me wonder why humans create gods to worship, when we are god-like ourselves.

Watch Dear Zachary and learn something about your own humanity.