Hey Andrew,

Do you mind if I call you Andrew? Andy? Drew? Lucky McLuckster? Probably not that last one. This past weekend, the Carolina Panthers locked up the number one pick and seeing how you’re the odds-on favorite to be drafted by them, I’m sure you have a few concerns. So I took it upon myself to write you this letter. I hope to address several areas that could affect your decision, and in doing so, quell your fears of declaring for the draft.

The Team

Ok, the team wasn’t very good…in fact, it sucked…really hard. But if you wait a year, the next team you go to is bound to be just as sucky. What makes this team less sucky than others that are constantly drafting high on the board like the Bengals, Browns, and Bills, is that we’re more stable and we’ve some great pieces in place to build around you.

You’ll be joining a team with the best running back tandem in the league in DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, a pro-bowl tackle in Jordan Gross who’ll be keeping you on your feet, and a defense that was good enough to actually keep the worst team in the league in games. Most importantly, 2 years after our worst season in franchise history (1-15) we went to the Super Bowl.

The Lockout

I would hope the owners are smart enough to realize the money they would lose if there was a locked-out season, so I’m pretty sure they’re going to get a deal done before it’s too late. Some of the season might be lost but that’ll give you more time to bond with your teammates and endear yourself to the great city of Charlotte, home of…I’ll get back to you on that one. If you’re concerned about not playing for a year and are thinking about returning to school, I have two words for you: Jake Locker.

The Coach or Lack Thereof

John Fox is gone. There’s no doubt about that. I’ve heard your head coach might be available. Bring him along with you. We’d love to have him. If not him, Jeff Fischer has been aching for a franchise quarterback to coach up. And if we can’t get him, there’s always a chance we could hire a successful first-timer. We did it once. We can do it again.

The Division

Buccaneers. Falcons. Saints…ouch. Those are some tough teams, in probably the most underrated division in the NFL. But there’s something they have in common other than being formidable opponents. They have all recently revitalized their franchises with a new head coach and quarterback. It’s our turn to join this trend.

The Fans

If you happened to watch a Panthers’ home game, you saw a lot of empty seats. But that’s not due to a lack of fan loyalty. We’ve never had back-to-back winning seasons. If you help us win, we’ll be there. We just need a reason to cheer. Charlotte is also home to some of the friendliest people in the country (that’s what I wanted to say earlier). They might talk badly about you behind your back if you lose a few, but they’ll always smile to your face.

The Best Part of All

Oh by the way…you’ll be a god. We’ve never had a quarterback that was the face of our franchise. Go to any of the other bad teams and you’ll find hall of famers hanging in the rafters. Bills – Jim Kelly, Browns – Otto Graham, 49ers – Steve Young and Joe Montana, even the Detroit Lions had two hall of fame QB’s in their history in Dutch Clark and Bobby Layne…the Lions! The closest thing we’ve had? Kerry Collins and Jake Delhomme. You’ll live in the shadow of no one. You’ll be able to be your own man and define the position, the team, and represent the city of Charlotte.

Well, I hope that (along with a nice fat contract) is enough to persuade you. If that hasn’t done it…we’ve got fantastic weather, awesome barbecue, and this thing called Bojangles that you’re going to love. I hope to see you in black and blue…poor choice of words…in a Panthers uniform next year. I’ll be rooting for you.

Sincerely,

Craig Carter

A Part of Your Future, Loving Fan Base

A recent post from the Comedy Zone’s Charlotte Facebook page has confirmed rumors that a new club will be opening in the NC Music Factory.

The 400-seat club will be one of the nicest in the country and will be sure to attract A-list talent.

In addition to this exciting news, there are also rumors that this fabulous club will have an open-mic night which will be fantastic for developing the amateur talent in the Queen City.

Stay tuned for more info.

Our research team dug up this old footage. It was one of the first commercials that was run before movies in theaters during the 1930s. Enjoy!

Ah, some good old-timey racism.

Give this little guy a few million more years of evolution and he’ll be a spitting image of Admiral Ackbar.

I know it’s September, but these were just too good to pass up.

You grow hair where you can. Am I right ladies? Am I right?

Well, normally we don’t frame the mugshots, but since you’re wearing yours…I think we can make an exception.

In Soviet Russia, police arrest you! Oh, so it’s basically the same.

The shame you feel is the real punishment…well, that, and being your cellmate’s new dance partner.

Old people have enough trouble with their memory already. Combine that with dreadlocks…

Yeah I got a venereal disease. Jealous?

Edwin McCain has really hit rock bottom.

The Scooby Doo band-aid is for when that bitch cut me with a broken beer bottle. The Hello Kitty one…that’s for me.

If an Oompa Loompa had sex with __________ (fill in your own guess in the comments section below)

Part Two of the interview with Jon Reep.

To buy tickets for his show in Charlotte this December, visit blumenthal.org

Visit his website at jonreep.com

Special thanks to The Punchline in Atlanta.

Jon Reep, Hickory, NC native and Last Comic Standing winner, sits down with QCC.

Stay tuned for part two.

To buy tickets to his show in Charlotte this December, visit blumenthalcenter.org

Be sure to visit Jon Reep’s website, jonreep.com

Special thanks to The Punchline in Atlanta, GA.

More pictures from my trip of a lifetime. Enjoy!

I mentioned a waterfall next to the Mendenhall Glacier in the last post. This is that glacier.

More totems.

I’ve never seen so many people that excited to see a little tail. Heyoohhhhh!

When we got back to Seattle. We had to go back to Pike Place. It’s such a cool market. There is a ridiculous amount of flowers there and the prices are insanely cheap. Those bouquets wrapped in white paper didn’t cost more than $10-15!

This is Top Pot Doughnuts. It’s a Seattle-based coffee and doughnut shop and it’s essential the bees’ knees. You might have heard of them if you’re a sports fan. Seattle Seahawks rookie, Golden Tate, broke into one when it was closed to get some of their maple bars. After having visited this lovely establishment, I have to say I can’t blame him. I think I might start a campaign to get one in Charlotte.

It’s been about two weeks since the last post. Sorry about that. I just got back from an amazing trip to Seattle and Alaska. Here are some of the 1200+ plus pictures I took during my vacation.

Mt. Ranier from the airplane

The Space Needle

The Pike Place Fish Market. If you’ve ever watched anything about Seattle, you’ve probably seen these guys tossing fish around.

One of the many totem poles in Ketchikan.

The Seward Glacier in the Tracy Arm Fjord. The little explorer vessel belongs to National Geographic.

The waterfall next to the Mendenhall Glacier.

Humpback whales feeding near Juneau.

The Dyea Valley near Skagway. One of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen.

On top of a glacier nestled between the mountains near Skagway.

All in all, I have to see it was easily the trip of a lifetime. I would highly recommend going if you ever get the chance.