Queen of Mars... there's a world beyond...

PLAY

2013-04-30T11:16:00.000-07:00

Play

If you could my favorite love song

When you came that played along

As it all just slipped away

While we held on and on

Say

Everything we need to hear

Find everyday someone new to speak to

And hope they’ll understand as you go on and on

Love never meant I get to keep you

Stay

With your quiet delicious laughter

And the magic that comes after

Have faith in me that I can manage

To be your slave, to be your master

Hey

Come closer

Even though the music’s over

And there’s no more revelry

But all I wanted is your shoulder

Pressed hard against the heart of me

Stray

Along long empty and lonely streets

Selling myself to the old deceits

Like I will find love at last

And at last know what it’s like

To sleep

Without watching over my scattered thoughts

Give up their quiet deep

And come out almost like an angry meek

To stray

27 and not shying away!!!

2012-12-02T04:07:00.000-08:00

So today on December 3rd I turn 27! Yippee! 27 to me feels like a nice grown up age, and I am happy to be here. And so in my ~~old~~ older age I would like to share 27 things I learned before turning 27;

1. Take care of the ones you love, and they will stay with you no matter how far away you are.

2. Treating your body well will reflect in all aspects of your life.

3. Do what you love and money will come but the stress it puts on you will stay much longer if you decide that only MONEY can give you happiness.

4. Have confidence in yourself and your ideas.

5. Soda and McDonald’s are evil.

6. You can always change your habits, it just takes desire.

7. It’s okay to break the rules, as long as you are good enough not to get caught and you aren’t hurting anyone.

8. Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

9. Time doesn't heal anything- it’s what you do with that time.

10. Complaining and blaming other people doesn't help anything, and makes you miserable company.

11. Everything in your life is your responsibility.

12. You train people how to treat you.

13. Forgiveness is for YOURSELF and no one else.

14. You can always be grateful for something.

15. If you aren't making mistakes, you aren't trying hard enough.

16. You never really become an adult. You just get more responsibility, and become wiser.

17. Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness. Knowing when it is appropriate is a skill.

18. Being silly is one of my favorite qualities in a person. :P

19. You should never stop learning, or trying to be a better person.

20. When people show you who they are, believe them.

21. Enjoy the seasons, they are one of the few constants in our lives and can always bring back memories we had forgotten.

22. It’s a comforting feeling to look back and realize your were a dumb ass.

23. Reading lets your inner dialogue run wild. It’s good for the soul.

24. Find the little things to enjoy in the present. Waiting for the future is exhausting.

25. Be the change you want to see in the world. And don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t help fix it.

26. Crying almost always makes you feel better. J

27. Honesty is always the easiest route. Even if it’s not in the short term.

Most of my life I have done things that probably been against the common notion. When people expected me to be going great, I nosedived into failure. Just when they thought I wasn’t going anywhere I literally went places. To this day my life has been a journey of good, awesome and fantastic. Most of this year has been the time, when people expected my calls to be of my wedding-invitation calls.

Will I, wont I ?? That’s probably time will tell but at this moment I am happy taking my parents and my extended family for super-expensive shopping trips, paying the bills, rushing through the crowded Mumbai on my way to office, setting some benchmarks at work, learning as much as I can from my revered colleagues, and smiling for pictures as often as I can.

Thank you to every person I love who has taught me something, or encouraged me along the way. Like always I will count by blessings and turn into HIM for everything. J

Pati Ka Aatank!! :P

2012-07-04T02:46:00.000-07:00

I have noticed that an Indian Naari in her twenties is mostly judged based on her marital status. The prospect of being 26+ and unmarried at the same time is equal to eating meat at a temple which is astoundingly shocking and inappropriate. This fact has annoyed me to such an extent in the past that it actually stopped affecting me for a while until today.

Over the past 6 years I have seen my group of single friends dwindling at a fast pace. At a point it appeared to me that a higher number of the human population started to believe that the world was coming to an end in 2012 and all women in their twenties had to be married away so that they could at least die “Suhagan”. Well if the 2012 myth was really true what is the whole point in getting married now anyways?

When asked to define husband I have always said “Those mean men who steal away the glorious times with your girlfriends.”

For instance think of a few girls with whom you grew up since you were 3 years old, girls who saw you fall off the swing, girls from whose fridge you ate up ever best south-indian delicacies n Swiss chocolates, girls with whom you learnt sine cos theta in Math, colorful paintings in painting classes, girls whose pencils and erasers you borrowed, lost them and never returned, girls with whom book reading with voice-modulation was the IN-thing, and girls who actually saw you with no make-up and eyebrows like Kroor Singh from Chandrakanta ;)

To the above girls add those girls you ran to discuss your first crush paranoia with, girls whose cry-baby faces you remember on the first day of your school/college, girls with whom you shared all your master copies of assignments and girls who lovingly lent you their Nokia phone to play the brick game and make prank calls to the stupid professor. Mix them together. Top this off with those girls who were there with you through more mature and major phases in your life for e.g. during your joblessness, through the rejection at Army/Air Force Conference, girls who helped you do silly yet meaningful things such as unnecessary shopping, aimless conversations into the night and gave you the right kind of advice when you were totally out of place.

Marriage changes each one of these girls. You are then conveniently shoved into the back of their heads. And if you are lucky enough they’ll probably think of you once in a year when it’s your birthday. (Medha you are an exception) I have tried to understand and reason with them which are total waste. Why does the whole wide world revolve around their husbands? Actually the weirdest thing is that when a man remains a boy friend the girl is all normal. The trouble begins only when the boyfriend turns into a husband. What is it? Is it the responsibility? Is it the sex? Is it the whole deal with being a “Bharatiya Nari”? I wonder!

Although this is directed to every married girl in general and no one in particular I am just in the mood to do some random rambling.

You cannot make a call to her after 6 PM. That’s because her husband’s with her. Also calling on a weekend is a total privacy encroachment.

You no longer get to hear any juicy details “Yes, we did it and it’s no big deal” is all you get to hear from the same girl who described to you, her first kiss for about an hour.

The entire Facebook is now dedicated to her husband. Her profile pics, cover pics, statuses, you name it and all you see is “mera pati, mera pati, mera pati.” Yeah! Deal with all the lovey-dovey updates, her husband is the best man on earth.

Don’t bother buying her any gifts. Your little piece of love will seem like David in front of Goliath. The mean guy, her husband, would have already purchased the city for her.

Face it! No conversation is complete without the Patidev finding his way in.

She hasn’t had the time to call you in 5 months? Consider yourself lucky, there is a mutual friend she hasn’t called for about 8 months now.

You tell her that you are still lying lazily in bed at 9am on Karvachauth. She will sound like you are a homo of the highest order K

No more trips with her. No, not even if you ask her 6 months ahead. She already has the next decade planned out.

Pati is Parameshwar.

Get married! It’s the way to be. It’s amazing (right!! I see you mob around, run behind children, make dabbas for your husband n that’s the way to be K)

Learn the language of a 1 year old; she will make you talk to them quite often.

If she posted tons of messages on your Facebook wall earlier, drop your hopes now. She will seem sooooper busy with her life and absolutely dead on social networking sites but hey, she has the time to ‘LIKE’ all the posts by her husband. She will console you by asking you to go and look at her old messages. “Facebook has Timeline now, what for?”

Texting equals hours of conversations on the phone.

Oh! She had a favorite hero? Her husband is her life-time hero now.

She will tell you that she was engaged in April, to be married in December, sometime in May. It really doesn’t matter to her that you weren’t informed. Look out for the excuses! Horoscopes, elders-ka-mamla, nazar-lag-jati and a butt load of crap. (This is specifically targeted to the crazy woman who actually did this to me)

I hope I haven’t rubbed anyone on the wrong side. Its just that a part of me still misses being around you and do the silly old thing. Remember we had planned to stay single all our lives!! ;) that’s too much to ask now but I can atleast figure on your to-do-list-of the month!!! :)

THE INTOLERABLES !!!

2012-04-02T06:08:00.001-07:00

Its everyday that we somehow get to know people either by their behavior or their characteristic traits that leaves us thinking about them for a minute.
Like is that really happening!! OMG did he just prove himself he's THE A$!! Do they really exist!! Man!! How much I would have gone the rest of my life without knowing that thing..so on n so forth..

I have had few such lists. Many a times people tell me not to categorize people but I guess its fun. That saves you the trouble of knowing them further which will only add to the hatred you may have for them. Men haven't been the "AVIBHAJYA" part of my life. What I mean is somehow through growing up with hoards of cousins, uncles and of course the B.E.Mech and MBA boys I have become pretty good judgmental as to what next!! So enjoy reading this post if you know exactly what I mean.. :)

HAPPY READING!!!!

THE KUMBHAKARNAS
Kumbhakarna was a demon who slept for six months in a year. And I have noticed men can sleep anywhere at any given time and in any position..huh.. Nothing can ever stop them. Be it an earthquake, a bulldozer rampaging into their house, a woman’s hue and cry, a siren, or theft or even something like a dog licking them; sleep wins, come what may! I’m sure the childhood fairy tale that I was very fond of "The Sleeping Beauty" is one huge piece of bull shit. This story talks of a beautiful princess who is cursed to sleep for a very long time and is awakened by a kiss from a handsome prince. I would like to imagine that it was not the princess who was in slumber for a century but the Prince. Only a man can sleep for a century and beyond and not wake up even if his princess kissed him. He can sleep on a chair, on the couch, on the ground, on a pile of dirt or in his own vomit. Even a Himesh Reshammiya song cannot wake him up.

It just baffles me. Are they designed to ‘switch off’ their nervous system when they sleep? Do men go deaf when they fall asleep? Can they seriously not hear their phone ring? How can they sleep for 15 hours straight?

THE GHAJINIS
Although this name has always revolved around the man who never accepted defeat until he conquered the Indian sub-continent, thanks to A.R Murgadoss' effort in various languages, the name now signifies a man with amnesia. Men forget all the time. It makes me wonder how they even managed to pull along through high school. How did they devour 15 kgs of Social Studies text books by heart when they cannot remember the name of their favorite novel? I would like to think that this is no selective amnesia. Oh! believe me, they do not remember anything. Is it uncommon that a guy walks up to you when you are busy flipping the pages of your notebook 30 minutes before an exam and asks with a ‘cool dude’ attitude, “What are you studying? Do we have an exam today?” See, I told you its not selective amnesia. They forget everything. Birthdays, anniversaries, reservations, keys, exams, deadlines, submissions, itineraries, credit card payments, debts, groceries, what you talk, and YOU!!! huh...

Did God give them a peanut sized brain that probably has 1 GB memory? Do they use the entire 1 GB space to remember their full name and nothing else? That seriously baffles me!!

THE MANTHARAS
Manthara was a maid of Kaikeyi who was a sly. She apparently poisoned Kaikeyi’s mind to banish Lord Rama to the forest. I am constantly reminded of Manthara when I see men who gossip. Everyone on earth who has a functioning tongue gossips. That is obvious. But who ever said men dont gossip? Women are interested in and enjoy gossip but so do men. To my understanding, women generally bitch about people whom they despise. For men, this rule does not apply. They have all the time on this planet to gossip about anything it just has to have the ability to move. Be it about your best friend’s secret boyfriend someone’s third cousin’s husband’s lawsuit or their favorite action hero’s dirty mistress or cooking up stories to end your long lasting friendship with few of your friends. They need to hear it all and they listen to all of it with the same enthusiasm. They possibly can channelize their energy only in two directions one is to sleep and the other is to gossip. :/

I dont understand one thing that why do we still fool ourselves that men dont gossip?

THE SLUGS
Nothing disgusts me more than watching a slug after a rainy day. They are everywhere and dont get out of you way. Oh wait!! They were created to walk very slowly not their fault for being lazy. But what about lazy men? They are too lazy to shower, too lazy to cook, too lazy to brush, too lazy to get out of bed, too lazy to pick the damn phone and return your call, too lazy to text you back, too lazy to finish their assignments on time, too lazy to help with cleaning. This group of men is more of a mixture of The Kumbhakarnas and The Ghajinis in varying proportions. Are lazy men active enough to clean up after ‘nature calls them’? ;)

THE MCPs
I have been calling a hell lot of men MCP's from the time I gotto know its meaning. Much has already been said and written about Male Chauvinistic Pigs and there is nothing new I can add to it. This is the category of men who are buffaloes and have very sharp horns. They take immense pleasure in charging with their over grown male egoistic horns at independent women who they assume are secretly feeble. Too bad they assume things too early only to be proven strongly WRONGED!!

THE GUTTERMOUTHS
The entire sewage system in India empties itself into their already foul mouths. To this group belong those men who eve-tease and torture you both on and outside college grounds. I personally know five such men. I mean, bad luck humped my back for about a year and I had to deal with them. I sincerely hope they go to hell or rest in pieces!!!

I feel like a teenager!!

2012-03-22T12:58:00.002-07:00

They say you are as old as you think you are. And now I understand why it is so.

I was the brainy-kid in the family. Something my parents always wanted. I was pushed into a lot many things as a child. Bharatnatyam, Sea Cadet Corps, Karate, Bal-vihar, workshops, libraries etc. Dad and Mum always wanted me to be an overall kid. My sister on the other hand was a pampered one as the whole attention was on my upbringing and I think they thought she would eventually follow, looking at me. So having trusted upon with so much expectation I HAD to do all of the things and not miss a single thing. I never really went to tuitions except in Xth and XIIth. Mom and Dad would tutor me at home. I used to have a strict schedule ala princess minus the privileges. I was always taught “You only EARN stuff; you never GET them for free”. So on day one of my academics Mom and Dad would ask me for a wish list for that year and they would be arranged on the basis of the most NEEDED one. So that was my target. If I would come first at school or the short term classes I would get this n that. That is how I earned my first cycle, first watch, my walkman, my jeans, my wallet, my first BALLET shoes, Casio piano, tidbits from Archie’s, my first coffee mug, my first Pierre Cardin pen, my first gold chain with a heart-shaped locket etc.

It was early learning for me, always chasing something or the other. When I moved out of school it was the college degree, then the Armed Forces, then a PG degree and then a job. I never quite remember what I actually did when I was teenager!! When people would go to Navy Balls looking for BFs I was busy texting them and helping them how to take the first move or what to say if asked for a dance. When people were busy coloring their hair, I was busy putting oil on my sister’s head. When people were roaming around with so called can-be-might-be, I was busy planning for slumber with my gurlies. I never quite lived it as I was concerned with and chasing my next goal. I would be lying if I said I didn’t think of boys at that age but then Nick Carter, Enrique, Milind Soman were my only can-be-might-be. Also not to forget I felt extremely guilty to indulge in the teenage-thingies coz my cousins on the other hand were less privileged ones and I at that time I didn’t want to end up with a husband who would expect a room-service ala thingy.

I was scared most of the time. I wanted to spend my own money. Why put the burden on one’s parent? It was more than enough that they paid for the education and mostly let a GIRL study when the others in the family went against saying “she wouldn’t find a match!!” Thank God for not letting my parents listen to it.

And today I have a decent job, still chasing a dream job. But I have found that youthfulness back, have colored my hair, sit for fish pedicures, take out little kids for a night walk with a friend’s dog, run and exercise, wear colors with accessories even to office , listen to the music I should have had, speak for hours with the ones who stood by, go out for movies ALONE, put up statuses that coz furor, watch the silliest of movie on the phone and do FB all day long just like school kids and most of all be with family as much as I can. It aint satisfying but it definitely feels like I am doing my thing. And I don’t worry about anyone coming along anymore. Coz if it has to, it will. And when it does, it will leave me with “OMG”… :)

कंटाळ येतो आता !!!

2012-03-22T01:30:00.000-07:00

"राणी.................................. राणी .......................!!!" च्या गजराने माझी संडे मॉर्निंग झोप उडाली |

मला हे गजर काही अनोळखी नाही| एस्पेशिअली जेव्हा ते दोन वेळा खेचून बोल्ले गेलेलं असता | मी फटकन उठून चादर घडी करून बाथरूम कडे धाव घेतला नोइंग मम्मी तापलेली आहे | १५ मिनिटात सगळं आवरून मी लिविंग रूम मधे हजेरी लावली | बघते तर काय आमचं होम मिनिस्टर , सेक्युरिटी ऑफिसर आणि गुप्तचर विभाग एका गोलमेझ सम्मेलना साठी बसलेले होते | नेहमी सारखी ती बीन बग हॉट सीट सारखी माझी वाट पाहत उभी होती , मी खच करून बैसले आणि जसा एखादा शेल स्नेल ला सामावतं तसा त्याने मला सामावून घेतलं |

मम्मी नी लेप्टोप ऑन केला आणि उघडल्या त्या नको नकोश्या वाटणाऱ्या matrimonial साईट्स | अन मग बघता बघता तिने सगळ्या साईट्स च्या स्टेट्स काढल्या अन सुरु झाली| I tell you, मला झालेल्या गोष्टीन वरून छळलेल अजिबात आवडत नाही | त्यात मम्मी पप्पांना घेऊन बसली म्हणजे मी इमोशनली ब्लेक्मेल्ड and i just dont have any rights to argue|

मग सुरु झाली वन वे ट्रेफिक सारखी गत | फक्त मान हलवायची | आणि त्याचा एंड result काय निघाला : मला वधू-वर मेळाव्यात न्यायचे ठरले | आता नाही म्हणाली असती तर माझी "all girls night out" प्रोब्लेम मधे पडली असती | आणि पप्पांनी हि गुपचूप सांगितला कि ते मला तिथून लवकर पळवतील , मग काय मी तयार १० मिनिटात | पप्पांचा आवडता ड्रेस घातला म्हंटल्यावर गाडीची चाबी न मागता माझ्या हातात :) मग आम्ही तिघे निघालो बोरिवलीच्या एका मेळाव्यात |

It was my first so I had no clue what to even expect. पण तिथे मुली अश्या नटून थाटून आलेल्या कि मुलगा तयार असल्यास आजच लग्न करून मोकळे होतील ;) (poor boys!!!! ) आम्हाला एका टेबल कडे बसवले गेलं अन मग सुरु झाले बघणं and all. मी टोटली spellbound होते , मम्मी जे म्हणायची करायची , atleast १० -१५ अनोळखी लोकांच्या सहजा पाया पडले असेन , नशीब ती नवरात्र आणि गणपती ची सवय होती नाही तर माझा काही खरा नवतं | मुलं जास्त शिकली नवती पण attitude असा कि shahrukh khan ला हि लाज वाटेल huh..mannerisms नाही etiquettes नाही ...urrrggghhhhh..छळन्या पेक्षा कमी नव्हता | मम्मीच्या मनाच्या शांती साठी ते हि केला, उद्याला तिला म्हणायला नको मी कमी पडले |

१ तसा नंतर तीच म्हणाली चला निघूया एवढा काही नाहीये इथे | घरी आलो अन गोगल गाय सारखी मम्मी स्वतःच्या रूम मधे गेली , तेव्हा वाटलं जी lady मान वर करून माझ्या कीर्ती बद्दल म्हणायची तिची काय अवस्था झालीये | असा हि वाटलं का मी मुलगा नाहीये पण तेवढ्यात पप्पांची थाप पाठी वर पडली आणि ते म्हणाले "बघ आपल्याआप घरी चालून येईन तुझ्यासाठी एक राजा|" पप्पा जे म्हणतात नेहमी खरं होतं पण तेव्हा वाटलं लवकर ये रे मम्मी-पप्पांची इच्छा आहे खूप वाट पहिली आता !!!!!!!

My lifelines - Dad, Hair and Ice-cream!!! :P

2011-06-20T23:31:00.000-07:00

On father's day, I was on a memory trail about the incedences with my beloved Dad. There are so many noteworthy of but I came up with this rather amusing memory till date. Hope you have fun reading this!!

Why should my emotions be so inextricably tied to my HAIR, I don’t know but it is a fact that a good haircut can uplift my spirits for a month, while a terrible one has left me in tears so many times.

And the reaction is instant. Serve me a bad meal and I can somehow suffer through it, making appreciative noises as I go. Take me out on the mother of all disaster shopping trips and I will still thank you for a lovely evening and promise to give you a company next time around. I am the master of the easy let-down. But cut my hair in a way I don’t approve, and my reaction to it is completely physical. My face gets red, my throat chokes up, tears flood my eyes and I start breathing heavily . It’s always been this way. L

When I was seven, for instance, my mother persuaded me to get a “bob-cut”. Unfortunately, this turned out to be the code for what you might recognize today as the ala Mandira-Bedi-haircut. That was a time when there was just no access to a talented hairstylist. Short and extremely unfussy, was IN then and my in-all-directions-heading-curls had to be toned down because they warranted a hell lot of attention. The only people who ever complimented me on the results of that disastrous trip to the salon where my mother, the nice Chinese lady who had followed my mother’s instructions against her own better judgment, and a teacher of mine who sported that exact same boxy cut. Call me a diva but I did not appreciate looking like a middle aged schoolteacher whilst still in the second grade. I ended up throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the salon, whereupon my mother promptly ordered an emergency pedicure for herself and banished me to the reception area where I spent the next forty five minutes cooling my heels, seething in fury, and frightening the rest of the clientele with my panting rage while tugging fiercely at my hair in an effort to make it come out of my head a little faster. K

Before you think I was some kind of special-needs-child, the alarmed receptionist definitely thought so. I should say that I already knew that particular effort wasn’t going to work. It was just another example of my once-ungovernable temper driving me to do things that were the limits of my stupidity.

But the roots of my hair-related rage go back a long way. It all started, I suppose, when my Ajji decided that the time had come to get the baby shiny-cover should be shaved off my head. I rewarded her by screaming like anything. And hence the bowl of black noodle-like-hair grew and grew, curling into loose ringlets that charmed my mother so much, she forgot I was a baby and not her doll.

I don’t know why she stuck my dad with the job though. Maybe she felt it would be a waste of money to take me with her to the ladies salon where they had things like proper lighting? Maybe my dad offered like the responsible parent he is? Who knows! But I ended up accompanying my dad to the barbershop he frequented. My first memory of getting a haircut is of a smiling man with a neat beard and Daddy sitting next to me, telling me “Not To Move An Inch”. To this day, I can’t relax and get all chatty with a hairstylist because my entire brain is hardwired with my father’s voice telling me “Not To Move An Inch”. And so I won’t by God!

Since my dad is a generous specie (unlike mom) our routine was first the haircut and next came the ice cream. In my memory, the barbershop had blue colored walls, the color of a government office. The ice cream shop, on the other hand, resembled an Old West Saloon, complete with wood paneling and rustic furniture as well as a noisy air conditioner at Churchgate called as Rustoms. And for some reason this was next to the petrol pump. Because that is a perfectly logical place to build an eatery. Chocolate ice cream with carbon monoxide topping. Yummmmmmmmmzzzzzzzzzz!!!!

I remember the inside of this fine establishment as a crowded and rather dingy place, which means it must have been tiny indeed given my toddler’s perspective. Anyway, as soon as we got in the door, Dad would head straight for the glass counter and ask me for my preference. I was three, my nose barely reached the part where the metal ended and the glass began. I couldn’t see a thing but I did enjoy breathing on the tiny bit of cool glass that my face could reach, and looking thoughtful. Eventually, I would place my order Strawberry!!! And Dad would place his Vanilla!!! If he was feeling adventurous, he would switch it up to chocolate but I think that only happened once or something.

I don’t even know how we decided I was a strawberry aficionado. For all I know, my dad marched in there and growled, “What do little girls like to eat?” At which point the terrified man behind the counter probably said, “Strawberry!” because it was all pink and girly and he was afraid to say he didn’t know. Voila! I liked strawberry. And since it never occurred to Dad to pick me up and show me the various options, I didn’t even know there were more than three flavors of ice cream until I was about 14, which is when I learned about the glories of the mighty pistachio. J

That was the summer when my second cousin came back from Dubai and showed us a fancy parlor that both manufactured and sold ice cream that you could order and consume curbside in the luxury of your very own car. My auntie took me there one night and introduced me to my first falooda. And my life was never the same again. :D But that is to fast forward. Back in our Old West Ice Cream Parlor, we were being served ice cream. Not scoops or scones, but slabs of it. There’s a small part of me that still thinks of waffle cones as exotic because my lizard brain thinks ice cream is naturally served as slabs on cheap white porcelain plates. Good times though!

We would sit there solemnly consuming our ice cream, until Dad had scraped his plate clean and I was still sitting there with half of mine on my plate. My mother was bringing me up to share so I always asked him if he’d like some of mine. My father, meanwhile, was bringing me up to not share eatables with him so he always refused. He would then sit in silence, watching me make heroic attempts to finish the entire plate before taking pity on me when I was about three-quarters through and proposing we leave. It was powerful magic, for an undemonstrative man and his willful daughter.

And like all magic, it was contained to that moment in time. These days, I tell my dad he should get a pedicure and take him out for coffee. That is our thing now, I push him to try and move an inch while he lets me order unfamiliar items off the menu. It’s a different kind of magic but one thing remains the same: we have a standing date anytime either one of us cuts our hair.

GROWING UP!!! Part - III

2011-06-09T02:04:00.000-07:00

When I was a little kid all I read was Enid Blytons and Nancy Drews. My school’s library would overflow with them. Whenever I would get angry at my parents I would sit in my room and think about ways to make them feel sorry for whatever crime they had just committed. It was stuff like going on a hunger strike or crying till my eyes had swollen or refusing to come out of the room.

None of these plans came to fruition ever L , because I love myself way too much. Also, I can’t cry for that long. I love to eat, especially when my mother is cooking. And she would make sure she made her-bests whenever I was angry so that I could never say a NO. J

So then I would plan on running away. I was never sure where I would go, to the neighbor’s house?!?! Well they had good chocolates. To my BFF’s house?!?! It would be the world’s longest slumber because the kids in Enid Blyton’s novels were planning to join a circus and while I liked animals then, I was told by Tahir that all opening jobs in the circus involved cleaning the **** and there was no way I was going to do that. K

So one day my parents finally went too far, I don’t remember now what they actually did but they probably refused to buy me a fairy frock or something equally heinous coz that’s what passes for mean and nasty around the Tonde household, and I decided it’s about time!!!

I took with me a torch for if it ever got dark, my sweatshirt, a book, saved pocket money of Rs. 20 and two bars of 5-star. I left one 5-star behind for my sister who had not done anything to piss me off in the last 3 days and thus deserved it. By the way I am a very generous person. J Thus burdened, I made it all the way across Sunita Market, within the sight of the main gates of Navy Nagar. I realized the only thing I was supposed to do was walk, but how long?!?!?

Reading so much of English Novels, the thing that came to my mind then was, every important scene in Pride and Prejudice involved Elizabeth and Darcy walking in some way, she finds out about his treachery while walking in the woods and returns home to tell him to go away, then they meet again while she’s walking around his estate, and finally the confession of their feelings for each other happens when they’re on a walk. Together!!!

That’s just an example from the great works of romance :) think of anybody else you like, from Tolkien to Shakespeare to J.K.Rowling. Englishmen and Englishwomen novelists will eventually arrive at a point in the story when nothing will do for them but to take a walk. Think over it!!

As for little Indian me, I made my way over to my favorite BPT gardens in one of the inner blocks of Colaba and settled myself with my book, ate my chocolates and went back home to be greeted with good-natured scolding and cries of relief.

Win… J

Winners don’t do different things, they do things differently!!!! ;)

GROWING UP!!! Part- II

2011-06-06T21:53:00.000-07:00

Here’s what happens when your parents let you join a Book Club at the age 12. K

Stranger at the Club: What are you reading?
Child Heena: Gone with the Wind. Have you read this?
Stranger at the Club: What?!
Child Heena: I don’ understand all of it but I think it’s good. The drama is really out of this world. I think I’m addicted to it. In fact, I’m going to watch the movie.
Stranger at the Club: Stop it immediately or else you’ll lose your childish innocence soon!
Child Heena: L When I grow up, nobody’s going to tell me what I can read and what I cannot.

Teacher: What are you reading?
Child Heena: The Giant Book of Murder. It’s superb.
Teacher: What?!
Child Heena: See, it has sections for axe murderers, serial killers and prisoners. I am totally loving it for the information that I will introduce into my English school essays to blow out my competition!!
Teacher: Stop it now! Or you will grow up into a psychopath.
Child Heena: *groans* When I grow up, nobody will tell me what I can read

Preeti: What are you reading?
Teen Heena: The Wheel of Time. It is super splendid!
Preeti: What?!
Teen Heena: Yeah, I’m really “into” fantasy fiction! It’s like science fiction but better! There are parallel universes and alternate realities and magic and strange creatures and ..
Preeti: Stop!
Teen Heena: Why?
Preeti: It sounds stupid and I’ve never read any. Here, read “Mills and Boon” like everybody else.
Teen Heena: L When I grow up, nobody’s going to tell me what I can read and what I cannot.

Lynnet: What are you reading?
Present Day Heena: Young Adult fiction. It’s awesome.
Lynnet: What?!
Present Day Heena: I was too busy reading regular adult stuff when I was a kid but now I find that there’s a lot of Young Adult fiction that is really good. So now I’m catching up with it.
Lynnet: Thats awful, have some shame. You’re reading stuff meant for children.
Present Day Heena: L When I grow up…

Am I suppose to feel inferior about it? Or should I cover The Hunger Games with a newspaper the way some women who read sexy romances on the train do? What about graphic novels? Are those ubercool? Or is everybody nosing at me for choosing to read a comic like a little baby?

If only I read much less and monitored the reactions of random strangers to my choice of reading more, I bet I’d have the answers to all those questions.

GROWING UP!!! Part- I

2011-05-31T22:58:00.000-07:00

I am very strict when it comes to my own younger sis. Many a times she has to undergo the brunt of my conservatism. I admit, m fairly conservative when it comes to things like children and their upbringing. I don’t have any but this doesn’t stop me from having opinions. It’s the last remnant of my conservative childhood and I hang on to it, because nothing I’ve seen out there has really challenged it or made me even come close to changing my mind. :)

In my early teens, I wanted to get my eyes brows plucked the moment I saw a classmate sashay down the hall in her short skirt and that arched eye-look at age thirteen. I had the skirt, but I wanted those eyes courtesy eyebrow-plucking. Those clean face and big eyes that looked so very adult. :)

“I think m ready!!” I told my mom as she got her pedicure done at the salon. :)

“Girls are doing it very early these days” said the chinky lady who usually did hers. My mum looked at me and laughed and laughed. When she finally caught her breath, she said: “Chee!!!!” EOD. :(

I had graduated high school much before my mom would let me pluck anything at all. And when I got my eyebrows done for the first time at age eighteen for my cousin’s wedding, it was a family affair with one of my Kakis standing over the poor parlor assistant’s shoulder and whispering “Don’t cry, don’t cry!!!” as my eyes watered. :(

Of course, my mum being a good mother, we did have talks about personal grooming. From manicure to pedicures, cosmetics to accessories, the best part of growing up with a mom and hoards of aunts is that there’s no dearth of advice on anything, and everything from acne treatments to what is the correct way to apply an eye liner. :)

And we eventually talked about growing up – but the emphasis was always on hygiene, not sexuality. In our house, grooming wasn’t just about being attractive. Every summer my Ajji (my mom’s grand mom) would repeatedly remind me that good grooming is about having pride in oneself. You take care of yourself because you deserve it, not to impress other people.

“This is not the way for good girls to walk around the house before the evening lamp is lit” my Ajji would say “You should first wash your face, then powder, put on a kajal-bindi, comb and tie your hair neatly, change into freshly pressed clothes, and then come to the DEVARA to see the lamp. That’s what a gharachi-mulgi looks like”.

There was a time in my teens, when I totally refused to comb my hair, and become a Scary Spice (I totally adored Spice Girls), nobody pulled me down and forcibly combed my hair or oiled my hair, nor did anyone force me to change my style. At the time, I thought it a victory over the Establishment ;) Later I was quite puzzled because the Establishment at our home is quite capable of breaking the backs of ‘little guerrilla’ efforts like that. L

It took me years before I realized that part of the lesson my Ajji and mom were trying to teach me was that, self-worth is something only you can determine for yourself. If they’d forced me to look presentable according to their stringent standards, as they well could have at the time, it would only have appeased their sense of worth, their image of a family member, not mine.

They had let me be ME. More importantly they instilled the values of “self-confidence” much before the invention of such classes around my house. My Ajji is not with me today, but I miss her immensely. She never got down to bashing us up and making us understand. She always had her ways of making us learn life’s lessons. My poor-yet-to-be-born-kids, will have an Infantry-Drill with me around for sure ;)

To all the nice girls i know..

2011-05-26T01:39:00.000-07:00

This is for that time when u left 40 urgent messages on his cell phone, and when you called him back he never answered.

This is also for that time you didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, you dragged yourself to a party where you knew nobody, the place was awful, and he flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for his ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice girls don’t often get credit where credit is due. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many guys are just illogical and manipulative .

Many of them claim they just want to date a nice girl, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, she’s too nice to date” or “she would be a good girlfriend but she’s not for me” or “she already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask her out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable women in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date female friends to sympathize and apologize for the women that are jerks.

There are definitely many guys who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice girls, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those guys, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those guys are found, I propose a toast to all the nice girls. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the grocery store, your party escorting services, your chauffering , your multi-tasking and your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless heroine, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

My first love…..

2011-05-26T01:06:00.000-07:00

I am very sure that this question has been unanswered or over-answered a lot many times to my pals whenever they tried to dig out the truth .. even after bribing me into eating ice creams or dinner/lunch promises at my favourite restro’s and also almost getting me MnBs i haven’t divulged the details. So i think now its time to do so.. to talk abt HIM… in the sense the one who’s always accompanied me to school, college, malls, ricks, buses, trains, long journeys, to Mt.Everest and Mt.Katao, and to every possible place i have been to is very difficult. He’s been the motivation when i was down, he was the humour when i wanted to laugh out loud, he was my strength when i wanted to quit, he was my knight in shining armour when i wanted to be loved, he was everything i ever needed jus packed all the beauties of life in my hand…it was the BOOKS that i read.

Trust me on this, I could have never been able to stand on feet ever had i not had my bestest and longest pals(read- BOOKS) of years with me. They stood with me through thick and thin. Come rain or sun, i always had him for my company. He never for once said what i never wanted to hear. Even at the most odd hours when i wanted to hear him he would simply let me read him.

The association started when PD would dog-ear few books and give it to me to read so that i become more creative in writing. Obviously i am still nowhere near her but then i believe i have started putting in my ideas clearly. I would read at Strand bookstall or pick up books from the ever so famous churchgate bylanes to satiate my hunger. Finally i came across the Amar-ki-dukaan(as famously called by Meds) which had superb collection of all sorts of books. I would take almost 4-5 of them with me and finish off in jus a day or two.

My train pals would wonder how I would finish it but then I was in LoVe.. and Thank God for that.
How can i forget Sam who met me coz of Books.. while i was searching for an ultimate chicklit we both picked up the same book and hence started the well kept secret of my life.. The Book Club of Ladies.. I was happy back then.. like minded ladies getting together for book reading sessions.. its was fantabulous.. I then realised that i had a feminist streak in me when we would end up discussing a lot of hot topic prevalent then.. i met smita the lady with a golden arm.. she only knew how to give others/society.. i worked with her for few NGO projects and then helped her create a course material for the under privileged.. it was one of the best days of my life to do something without anyone ever knowing what i was upto.. prolly even i dinno what i was doing then, but today when i look back i feel nice that i could meet people so intellectual i could only dream of coz of HIM.. so back to him.. its jus a small boring blog to thank HIM.. for the life i had, i have and i will have, for almost everything.. and i hope no one replaces HIM..

“A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without the fear that it will go off in your face. It is one of the few havens remaining where a man’s mind can get both provocation and privacy.”
Edward P. Morgan

Things women do say about guys and aren’t afraid to say it….

2011-05-26T01:01:00.000-07:00

1. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet bowl.

3. If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your payday.

4. Please don’t drive when you’re not driving.

5. The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubbernecking at miniskirts.

6. If only women gossip, how do you and your buddies keep track of “who’s easy?”

7. Stop telling us that most male actors are gay: WE DON’T CARE!

8. Start parting and combing your hair to one side early in life: You’ll never see the island coming.

9. Your contributions to your child should go above and beyond that chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.

10. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder level.

11. You can tell us that we are beautiful even without ogling other women.

12. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

13. No don’t cut your hair. Ever.

14. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

15. Don’t ask me what I’m thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss

16. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

17. If you don’t allow us to wear Victoria’s Secret, don’t expect us to act like “Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi” bahus. Period.

18. Consider Shopping a mini-vacation. We need it, just like you do.

***Men are like bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.***

A WALK TO REMEMBER..

2011-05-26T00:59:00.000-07:00

The woods were lovely dark and deep. Walking slowly beside her, in the damp mud road, was her husband whom she barely knew. He was very relaxed, happily watching a group of kids play at a distance. Her “mehndi” was still dark and smelling fresh, reminding of the excitements and tension 2 days back. “It cant work this way mom… please stop this”, she kept telling her mother till the last moment,who wouldnt listen but carry on with beautifying her. She had been crying all night and her make-up had to be patched up twice or thrice to hide her awkwardly swollen face.

It was too late now. She had to get married “NOW” to the guy. The guy whom she had seen once and talked thrice. The guy about whom she knew nothing at all but for his name and work. Everything happened in a hurry and everything was over before she could breathe again… here was she with this guy, all alone in this hill station… how can anybody send their daughter such a long distance with a stranger???

“Hey look at that….!!!” he shouted in excitement. She shrugged and looked where his finger pointed… Bright colored balloons dotted the sky. Children were jumping in joy and he seemed to be completely absorbed into it… colors are always exciting… but not now. She was not with her friends, not with her team mates, not even with her parents. This was not a 3 day tour or team building trip. This was her life and she has been forced to start off with this person.

Loneliness and discomfort with this stranger was sickening. She looked at him in wonder. Does he even realize that he has married me? Does he understand that he has to love me, protect me, care for me, a new girl, a stranger, all his life?

The marriage morning started like a daylight nightmare for her. The first time in life she felt she should have fallen in love and then married somebody. Some man who she would have felt more comfortable with, someone whom she could call by name and introduce to friends, someone whom she could trust. But marriage morning was obviously not the time to think all this. Her parents would never have said “no” if she had declared that she was in love. But she was not emotionally attached to anybody she met,especially guys.

She was very friendly,playing,teasing, but never had second thoughts for any man around her. That brought the entire responsibility of looking for a groom on her parents’ shoulders. Her parents had a very bad time with this entire process. They started their groom search with unending “&” operation. The concatenation of ”Horoscope matching” & “Decent family” & “Good looking” & “Good pay” & ”same cast” & so on… that always gave 0 output. Now after all that 8 months hunt,they were not ready to hear her “ifs” and “buts” for this ’good guy’. She had explained to her father. She does not feel anything for this person. He is nothing more to me than any other software professional. Like list of names she sees in the chat rooms. Distant and usual…Her father asked her to talk to him and even meet him and discuss their likes and dislikes.

That meeting started like the induction programme self introduction and ended like a 3 hour seminar.She was waiting to get away from that place.”So did you talk to him?”. “Yes”. “Was he polite and decent”. “Yes”. “Oh he got that special flavoured tri-color icecream…!!!”. OK. All her family and relatives discussed… She was given the chance to “understand her life partner” and that they have understood each other “well” and she is ready for the marriage now.

All arrangements geared up and it was 24 days after her first meeting that she was getting married to her man… perfect match as everybody else described. Marriage hall was full with excited people, kids got the chance to play, ladies got the chance to wear the silk saree. The smell of rose and jasmine filled the hall. Different poses for the photographer and atrificial smiles for the videos. The moment he had tied the sacred thread was unexplainable vaccum in the head. It was over. She was his wife. Accepted by the society and law. Her proud parents were relaxed. This was their duty they had been planning to fulfill since she was born. All this crowd will fade away, leaving her to explore her new world…

He pulled her hand gently to sit on the stone bench. The bench was wet and the chillness was indeed enjoyable. “So what are you thinking about?”… that was an unexpected ball. Should she reply? Should she be silent? She remembered the two hour presentation she had taken last month. Bold and confident, she kept answering all the queries with a broad smile. Now she remained silent. “Do you know honey… I was not for this marriage too…” Oh my God… what did i hear??? Did HE tell that or did i think aloud? What does he mean? Didn’t he like me? Was he forced into this? He must have noticed the quizzical look on my face…with a gentle smile he continued… “I wanted to look for a girl myself, buy her everything, care for her, argue with her, laugh and cry with her, then get married to her… Anything otherwise would be a drama. Traditional drama!! and i was not for it anytime. But my love for my work and also my stress would not give me time and mind to search that girl…When your parents talked to me 2 weeks before our marriage, about your fear of getting married, to a stranger, i could completely understand your mind. I could see myself in you and that was the moment i decided i will marry you. There was no time to prove myself to you, make you trust me, everything happened in a hurry. But there was this entire life before me, to please you, to love you, to make you trust me. This is no less than what i had dreamt, the girl i was waiting for, is you.

Now tell me… will you love me???” Tears came down her cheek. Her parents had done more than their duty. They had found her the perfect guy. Thank you Mom!!! Thank you Dad!!! His question remained unanswered yet both knew the answer…

MUMBAI YATAYAT..

2011-05-25T23:06:00.000-07:00

I have been travelling a lot these days.. yes i have been.. in the local trains.. in ricks.. in buses.. that sums up the quintessential life i have been living off late.. anyways the point is I have been enjoying the ride more than anything else.. yes more than even the lectures at my MBA college.. know how!!!!

1. I get to dry my hair without using the dryer which had started ruining my hair. Sit in the rick for the medium dry hair look and then tie it up else for the totally rock-star look trains r the best. But then this works for my curls.. you can fuh-get it if you are used to blow drying.

2. I finish reading 2-3 books in just 3 days down..all thanx to the Andheri traffic and sometimes the ever so fast trains.

3. I get the latest on-going gossip and songs in the ladies dabba.. that saves the gruesome task of reading Mumbai Mirror and downloading not-so-happening songs from the net.

4. If you are an atheist.. try having a conversation with the woman next to you in the bus/train who’s reading a Hanuman Chalisa.. chances are you will start doing the “upwas” from the next day.

5. If you ever wanted to lose weight without the crash diet and sauna belts.. trains are for you!! Fuh-get about a seat , if you get to stand without being squeezed, “Hari-Vitthal”.

6. If you ever wanted to do charity, the ever so beggars and ahem-ahem will give you the reason to blow your money off.

7. If you ever wanted to shop and had no time on hand..all thanx to the college schedule, slow trains will faithfully grant your wish. From veggies to jhinkas (prawns), from cosmetics to trinkets, from ear buds to wallets, from handicrafts to clothes to rags .. everythings is available at ur service.

8. If you have too much money and time on hand (like my super rich friend) try calling Baba Bangali(rem the posters in train compartments).. chances are that an exceptionally seductive representative would entertain you till the crowd throws you out at your destination station.

9. If you ever had a mom like mine, who would call up for the last minute grocery and provision shopping get in a rick at Andheri at 7pm.. the snails pace at which the rick moves you can buy all this and make your mom feel proud of having a child like you.

10. If you ever wanted to feel the state of NIRVANA, stand next to 2 arguing ladies, with Avril Lavigne playing in your ears and the vibrating effect of the train. Chances are you might even attain MOKSHA under expert’s guidance :P

Having said that, i never realised all this when i used to travel from Churchgate to Andheri.. but Andheri-Mumbai Central rocks!!!!

Here’s a small trivia for all of you who love travelling by Local Trains.. guess the stations (WR-CR-Harbour Line)-

1. Fair village
2. Raja ka chakkar
3. Place in darkness
4. Education resides here
5. Your head is in curd

WHAT IS MARKETING?

2011-05-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

1.You see a handsome guy at a party.You go up to him and say: “I am very rich.Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing”

2.You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of ur frnz goes upto him and pointing at u says:”she’s very rich.”Marry her.” – That’s Advertising”

3.You’re at a party and see handsome guy. He walks up to u nd says:”u are very rich!”Can u marry ! Me?” – That’s Brand Recognition”

4.You see a handsome *some text missing* guy at a party.U go upto him nd say:”I m very rich.Mary me!” nd he introduces u to his wife.-”That’s demand and supply gap”

5.You see a handsome guy at a party.U go upto him nd before u say:”I m rich,Marry me!”ur husband arrives.-”That’s restriction for entering new markets”..

LETTER OF EVALUATION...

2011-05-25T22:29:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

Someone forwarded this letter to me.
I thought, if not all, there are some revealed facts that one should know, being citizen of India. I leave the final appreciation of the truth to you.

You may call me a spoilsport but there is a lot of criticism of generous amount of money being given to our worthy cricketers for winning the world cup. Undoubtedly a great achievement but does that permit our Government to offer them the wealth collected from honest taxpayers for the betterment of the country? How many of our sports-persons have been so generously rewarded? How many of them have become millionaires? If probably our yesteryear Hockey Heroes would have been treated in a similar manner who knows we still might have retained our Hockey supremacy. The fact is whatever is earned from staging the the World Cup is not enough to reward our cricketers who won the honor for the country because there are so many behind the scenes whose greed needs to be appeased.

Let’s hope ANNA HAZARE’S efforts do not go waste and th Government of India follows his advice because all is not lost there is still time.
God save our Great Country.

LETTER TO Mrs. Sonia Gandhi, From Typical mouse from Mumbai

7 Apr 2011

Dear Mrs. Sonia Gandhi
Hello from typical mouse from Mumbai. After Mumbai attack I had written a letter to Mr. Manmohan Singh, with the hope that at least once in life time he will behave like Sardar who were always in forefront of protecting the nation, but he has turn out to be worse than a mouse. I realize you are the king maker, hence I am addressing this letter to you.
Today you requested Mr Anna Hazare to end his fast. For last one month Mr. Hazare had been writing to you and PM, none of you even bothered to reply. Suddenly you realize that every Indian is with him, and that is the reason you decided to request Mr. Anna Hazare to end his fast.
Let me ask you few simple questions.
Why one of the best presidents that is Dr. Abdul Kalam was removed? Isn’t it because he had objected to your becoming Prime minster? In the disguise of giving gift of woman president you selected Mr. Pratibha Patil, her only qualification is that she used to do dishes for Late Mrs. Indira Gandhi. Royalty to Gandhi family never goes unrewarded. If you were concerned with welfare of Indian people you would have selected person like Ms. Kiran Bedi, but you wanted a perfect rubber stamp just like Dr. Manmohan Singh.

Coming back to issue of corruption.
Mr. Vilasrao Deshmukh has destroyed Mumbai. In the disguise of giving house to homeless he kept on increasing FSI to help builders, so that all the money can be sent to Delhi & Congress can fight election. In last eight year prices of flats has increased three times and now AAM ADAMI cannot even dream of having his own house. Same Vilasrao Deshmukh was fined Rs 10 laks by Supreme Court for helping money lender who was charging poor farmer interest of 10% per month that is 120% per year! Instead of taking action against Mr. Vilasrao Deshmukh he was made rural minister. Funds allotted for rural development is Rs 4 Lakh crore and who could have better person than Mr. Deshmukh to divert the fund to Delhi?

More than a year has passed. Since Suresh Kalmadhi ‘s role in CWG scam has been exposed. Till today he is roaming free. How long this drama of CBI interrogations will go on?
Then there is Mr. Rane, minister from Maharashtra. Mumbai high court has passed severe stricture against him for snatching land from poorest of poor and giving it to industrial house. Even Mrs. Indira Gandhi who was never known for her honesty did take action against a former chief minister when he was indicted by high court for corruption, but you who advocate zero corruption did not utter a single word and Mr. Rane continues to be honorable minister.

There were truck load of corruption charges against Ms. Mayawati, they were dropped when she supported your party during no confidence motion. If you call this helplessness of coalition government, then what about helplessness of a poor person who steals bread for his children, what’s about helplessness of government servant who takes bribe so he can send his children to good school, what’s about helplessness of an officer who cannot afford to buy house in south Mumbai so he indulge in act of corruption?
Hasan Ali is highest income tax evader not only in history of India but the whole word. Till today he has not been even charged. He has given name of three chief ministers who has helped him. So far no action is being taken against them. We keep on reading that he as support of senior minister from Maharashtra. Why you are silent on this issue?

In 2G scam besides losing huge money, just think of opportunity lost by our young and brilliant scientist & engineers to be at par with the world. We are second to none in this world, but this cancer of corruption has ruined our body, our mind & our soul.

Last but not least , what’s about crores & crores of rupees with Swiss bank. How long your finance minister will keep on fooling us? Just with help of a simple SMS sent by Swiss bank, American government could force Swiss bank to reveal the name of account holder, why Indian government cannot do anything. Reason is very simple, if anybody is punished he will reveal the name of all politicians and bureaucrats involved. There is proverb in Hindi “Teri bhi Chup, meri bhi Chup” meaning you keep quiet and I will also keep quiet.
There is not even iota of resemblance between your word and your action. I will rather trust a prostitute who tells that she is a virgin, rather than trusting your word about zero corruption.
So much I love India and love my people. I wish my best of best luck to Mr. Anna Hazare. I hope every Indian writes on every currency note that “WE SUPPORT ANNA HAZARE”. If not the voice of people at least these currency notes will reach your corrupt ministers and the parties who are supporting your government.

JUST FRIENDS!!!!

2011-05-25T22:21:00.000-07:00

Rhea and Rohan were good friends. They were friends for over 2 years now. Rhea never suspected Rohan had any romantic interest in her. She never even thought of him in that way. And then something shocked her. Somebody joked about how they looked like a couple and later Rohan admitted and said ”I have given it a lot of thought and really want the relationship to go further.”

Now here Rhea was in a twist. She was actually interested in Bharat and not Rohan. Bharat has even been showing interest and their relation showed a lot of promise. She had just no feelings or romantic inclinations for Rohan; he was just a very good friend.A friend to talk to, share ideas, debate and fix the world with.
How can she tell him she is not interested in him?

I guess most of us girls have gone through this most of the times, never realising what might have caused it!!
Here are some ideas on how you can do this. Formulated with 100% GT*

1.       Do not make a knee jerk response. Tell the person you can’t give an immediate response, but you will get back to them with a week/month (or a specified amount of time). Give yourself some space to think it through (Who know’s he might suddenly become rich or becomes as famous as Mark Zuckerberg )

2.       Apart from mulling it around in your head, talk to not only your friends but also parents or another trusted mature/older person. They can sometimes help to see aspects the issue that you have not considered (trust me they sometimes comeup with better excuses to say a NO or know some hidden truth like ancestral property n al )

3.       Be clear in your mind about your feelings and intentions. You may think that you are not interested but does this person have qualities that would make a good husband, father, provider, protector and companion. Do not confuse feelings/chemistry with what makes good and lasting relationships ( dun be a sucker for looks/money, this guy might actually turn out like Akshay Kumar of Dhadkan )

4.       Once you have come to a conclusion, decide on a time and place to talk to the person (never chose a public place to start with and neva wash dirty linen in public )

5.       Thank the person for showing interest in you. Let them know that it makes you feel valued, however you do not feel the same way or that you have other interests (alrite!! thank him enough for finding U interesting )

6.       The person will always want to know why. Explain that life do not always create a situation that everyone has the same and reciprocal interest. And this is one of the cases (Emotional blackmailing of sorts )

7.       What happens if the person continues to harass and push? Explain that you do not appreciate it and if they continue you will have to cut them off. Do exactly that. Do not take their calls. Ignore them if you meet and if you have to talk to them keep the conversation to the bare minimum ( else tell them ur uncle is a Super Pandu err Super Cop!! and scare him away )

I am sure this would definitely work, but make sure you dont hurt the other person in this process, afterall he tried his luck at the most beautiful creation of Bappa!!!!

*GT = Girl Talk

Is HE the "CHOSEN ONE"?

2011-05-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had strong feelings for someone but you are not too sure about him? You felt that he just may be the ”ONE” however there may be some doubts lingering at the back of your mind. Or he may be pressing you to take the relationship to the next level and you want to know if this is the right decision. Or you may love him and want to marry him but feel scared about what would happen in the future.
Would your marriage/relationship become a booming success or would you get a broken heart </3 – shattered dreams?

Is he the one or must you search for another?

My gurlies have always been worried about this. So often that, we have discussed this at all the Slumber Parties. What has always worked on deciding if ”HE” is the right man for you are -

1.First think about what it would be like 10, 20, or 30 years from now.
Is he the one you would like to grow old with. The one who would hold your hand and sail you through all the tough times and the one who would sing to you on your 65th Birthday the evergreen famous song “oh! meri zohrajabi, tujhe maalum nahi… ”

2. Think about what type of husband he would make.

Is he a husband material?

If he’s the philander types or one-woman-man types. How much does he believe in the institution of marriage.

Would he be able to provide your emotional, physical and financial needs?

4. Is he the type of person you can weather the storms of life with?
    This definitely means that do you believe if this person will stand for you and vice-versa.

5. What type of father would this person make? A hands-on one and the one who adores kids or the one you-take-care-of-this-wet-diaper-clad-thingie!!

6. Can you see yourself waking up and living with this person every day?
    Meet ups are the ones to give an idea of how we can look, but deep under the tonnes of attitude of a man lies a simple nervous specie who wants to be accepted just as HE is, no-Park Avenues, no- Van Heusens, no- Red Tapes and no- Tag Heurs too.

7. Can he bring you happiness – not just immediate gratification but lasing happiness?
    I know a record number of people who are married to the love-of-their-life and NOW know what happiness is. It can never be replaced with the thrills money can get, its the simple touch of the hands, looking deep into each others eyes and feeling complete, dropping in a mail or a call just to say a HI and raising those heartbeats and many such simple things. Keeping it really Simple is the key.

If you can answer yes to the questions above, well baby you have the right man for you.
What if you are sure about most of the questions but unsure about some of them? Then you need to ask yourself this powerful question – Is he willing to learn or grow in this area? Is he teachable!?!?!

Remember no man will be 100% and it takes Two to Tango, however if he and you have the right spirit,and willing to do what is necessary,it’ll make a brilliant relationship.

GIVE US A FAT CHANCE....

2010-11-25T23:08:00.000-08:00

Fat is out, Thin is in. The blurb jumped out at me from an advertisement promoting a new health club in the city. The ad went on to heap humiliation on 'fat' men and women and concluded with this dire warning: 'if you are over weight, your days are numbered'. Aren’t all our days numbered? Seriously I am bored stiff with the current global obsession with thinness.

The Thin Brigade is uncharitably ignoring an entire middle kingdom as it recognizes only the far ends of the spectrum, the thin and the obese. What about rest of us who could fall anywhere between healthy, plump, slightly over or heavy-set?

Can a fat person be an object of desire? That weighty existential question has been haunting a majority of youth from upper and middle classes throughout the thin maniac years. The generator of this angst was non other than the model Twiggy, who, with her matchstick figure completely rewrote the desirable dimension requirements of models the world over. And by extension, that of half the world’s population.

In the advertising world, the unisex look- a byproduct of the thinness fad- spelt the end of characteristic good looks that were essentially projections of differences rather than uniformity. Today, the more androgynous and international the look, the greater the demand. Unsurprisingly, faces and physiques on movie screens, TV monitors and ramps have become only predictable and crushingly boring.

Thank god Twiggy came after Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor. And all those Renaissance sculptors and painters. Imagine a Reubens or a Ravi Verma painting with thin subjects. See what I mean? Soft contours emanate a grace and sensousness that an angular figure can never match. If Botticelli had painted an anorexic Venus rising from the sea, would the work of art evoke the same kind of rapture that it does?

The entire South Indian film industry would have gone bust, so to speak, if it were not for its imperviousness to this thin-is-in syndrome. Jayalalitha today has moved from cut-out to all-out in improving her shape and sense of proportion. Here’s a challenge: try making a life-size cut-out of a Julia Roberts or Isha Koppikar and make it look appealing. A Simran or a Jyothika would win hands down, while a Mallika Sherawat might barely pass the grade.

By the way what happens if you fall out of a speeding car, as my grandma did and was saved by the layers of fat around the landing area? Besides if you have a developed background in your school years, the spanks don’t fall as hard as they might on a less endowed rear.

Fat tomatoes, fat patotoes, fat pay cheques, fat burgers, have made the world go round all these years. Don’t straighten it please.

www.queenofmars.wordpress.com

To Papa.. with Love

2010-11-25T22:51:00.000-08:00

Like all birthdays at home, this year as well i took money from my dad to buy a gift for his own bday.. n like always he gave me loads n asked me to buy something i would lk for myself n then get him the loveliest card he likes to c wid my hand written note. thats my papa!! my papa is a man of few words..my papa never invented a new element, never won a Pulitzer and never went to a Jail for a cause.. my papa is just lk me casual,funny and normal..lk most of us!!

When i ws in KG..i used to think my papa had given birth to me..till other enlightened minds at school helped me understand the nature’s law.. my papa used to dress me up tie a li’l pony whenevr i ws late for school o for a my dance classes o for play.. i got loads of gifts from him every bday but the bests wr my first watch n my sony walkman..he said he ws really proud of me..the % i had score then,the exceptional all rounder i ws at school n gold i received for my paintings..

I learnt to follow my dreams from him..when i flunked for the nTH time he asked me to get up n get going..never to QUIT..according to him if there’s no1 to gratify me..he will..lk always..but i need to keep moving for that..he generally never tells anyone to do anything..he jus sets example for others to follow..my papa never told me to work harder, he never told me to set any future goal and work towards it or something similar straight out of a self-help book.. he is a simple man who started his life wid a diploma degree in printing,a young wife and big dreams..papa taught me that the only person I can depend on in this whole wide world is ‘Me’..

This year on his bday i didnt get him any gift, but i sat down and wondered about the gifts he’s given me all through my life…this bday was not about cakes n greeting cards…for the first time i understood that papa was growing old..but strangely m not sad,instead m happy coz m growing up too…m happy coz slowly i’l have to take his place in the family and one fine day i’l grow up to earn enough money to get my papa a nice gift and pay bills..m also happy coz i have dreams that r going to come true… and coz i can share responsibilities..m also happy coz my papa has raised me to be strong and independent…

Papa,i love u..u r the STRONGEST person i have ever seen…u r the best PAPA in the entire world-this is what most kids say n most of them mean it..Thanks Papa for everything..for all the valuable lessons u have taught me..