VAL.PAL

Almost There

2010-06-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

I’m almost there
I had to change my wear
even if it was my last pair
Cause I had to keep it moving,
on my way and keep improving,
all the pain I keep removing.
The past, it was a scare
and so the present is to repair
my future I will share
I’m almost there so
please don’t close that gate
I won’t be late at this rate
I just can’t wait
to see all the stares
Of those who thought
I couldn’t bear
Of those who ought
to be aware
I’m on my way
I’m picking up weight
But I could carry away
I’ve got a stronger plate
I can’t back down
I need to earn my crown
Unobtainable with a frown
if I rather not say,
it’s gonna come back to haunt me
and I’m gonna always be its prey
so I go after what I want,
even if it means facing fear:
False Expectations Appearing Real.
It will not destroy my happiness:
the core to my prized possession.
Can you see my expression?
Nothing near depression
It will leave you with a good impression
For now, hear my confession
I lost my sense, always at a defense
with a pretense of nonchalance
But now I’m on the offense,
I’m trying to score so I get into flow
I’m almost there
Can you hear me down the block?
The clock is ticking, tick tock
I’ll make it without a doubt
Only way is to keep this route.

© Valerie Cedoit

My first prophecy

2010-04-25T14:53:00.000-07:00

This is a prophecy someone else shared with me and I wanted to share it with you all.

Good evening fans. Most of you don't know that I'm a 17 year old boy that lives in Florida. I'm an usher at my church, which i attend on wednesdays and sundays. One day at church when I was being prayed for my pastor told me that I would one day spread the word of God to many people. I tried to ignore this prophecy for many months. My mother told me that I can't fight what God wants to do with my life. Well today I was with my twin brother and we picked up my friend to get something to eat at my job. I wanted to go through the drive-thru but they didn't. We went inside and another man in there ordered before us but we didn't pay much attention to him. After we ordered our food we sat down and ate. The man who had ordered before us had walked up to our table and asked if he could sit with us for a second, and this is what he said. "Do you three boys go to church?" we said yes. He says "God just wanted me to come over to you three and tell you that you all will change the nation." He started to cry and I was stunned. He said" I was sitting across the restaurant and i saw the fire of christ over all three of you. You three will spread the word of God to many people and change their lives forever" This man who i had never seen before changed my life forever. I know that God was telling him to come up to me today. It was amazing.

Not Enough

2010-04-20T20:18:00.001-07:00

This is actually what I've done to someone meaning I wrote this in their perspective and 'you' WAS me. Yes, I said it and for me to be able to write about it after, means I've come a long way. . & its another way to apologize to you.

All that I do,
you think is just a bluff,
just not enough.
You want more
but I’m soar
from this war
You’re too blind
to see my scores
I’m on my grind
trying my best
but I’m not behind
at your request.
I’m giving you my all
then you cause me to fall
when you start to brawl
about what is so small.
Last time I checked,
you weren’t perfect
so don’t even try to direct
what you can’t even reflect.
All that I show, is as though they flow
in one eye and out the other.
Just not enough
for you to be satisfied,
to divide the strife
and lower your pride.
Wish I could open up my heart
and show you its words inscribed,
the same words my tongue described,
maybe then will you believe it?
After it has been transcribed
All that I give just ain’t enough
So I’ll let you overload
till your heart explodes
then you’ll want me to slow my roll
But I won’t be able to detect this code
I’ll be already far along the road
But I’m sure you’ll see
a scratch in this mode
Even if this is what you bestowed
But I just can’t quit
I will continue to sit
and transmit my love to you
If that’s legit
Let's just sit here
and digest this. .

© Dr. Cedoit

Shanelle Gabriel - Why I Love You

2010-03-31T14:54:00.000-07:00

WOW! really enjoyed it & this is also why I LOVE YOU. .

Relying on Jesus

2010-03-29T19:46:00.000-07:00

Here’s an interesting story about putting our trust in Jesus:
When Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, or as you know them as Shradrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego were about to be thrown into the fiery furnace by Nebuchadnezzar, God was prancing around really nervous searching for a way to save them. He went to the first angel, this angel had 2 wings. God asked, “How fast can you get down to Babylon? I need to save Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego.” The angel replied, “I can get there in 24 hours!” God exclaimed “24 hours! That’s much too long.” God goes to a second angel. Now, this angel had 4 wings. God asks the same question, “How long can you get to Babylon?” The angel replies, “I can do much better than the last. I can be there in 12 hours.” This was not acceptable to God. God goes to a third angel, with 6 wings. He asks the same question, this angel replies, “I can do even better, 6 hours!” “No, no, no. This won’t do,” God says. He goes to again another angel with 8 wings. This angel was able to be there in 3 hours. But 3 hours wasn’t good enough for God. As a final resort, God goes to His best angel. This one has 10 wings! God asks this angel, “How fast can you get to Babylon?” This angel answered “1.5 hours!” But, 1.5 hours was still not good enough for God. Finally God has an idea, “My Son! I’ll get my Son to do it! Where’s my Son?” God couldn’t find His Son. He searched heaven high and low to search for His Son. Suddenly, from Babylon, Jesus calls out to His Father from the furnace, “I’m already here!”

Trust God

2010-03-28T21:03:00.001-07:00

"When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust him fully. Only one of the two things will happen; either he will catch you when you fall or he will teach you how to fly."

Blame me

2010-03-28T19:02:00.003-07:00

Blame me
It’s not your fault
You were accused for an assault
Held by default
But I refuse to reduce your name
and put you to shame
So I'll take the blame
I'll carry it on my shoulders
Block out disgrace
With two big boulders
And I’m sorry for the things I've done
that shot you like a gun
and made me want to run
Cause I knew it couldn’t be undone
But the war had just begun
Sorry I couldn’t understand
your demands and commands
in the language you spoke
which made the gap between us expand
But I was able to withstand
Sorry for the hearts I broke
Blame me for thinking it was just a joke
Sorry for wanting someone by my side
All the tears that I cried
were for making me hide what’s inside
Sorry for growing up
And expecting you to allow my growth
I said I would never pick up a coffee cup
But this stress got me breaking my oath
You acted but blame me cause
I reacted in an equal but opposite reaction
Is it my fault that you weren’t able to pause?
not when I wasn’t your satisfaction
Your words were wrong
but blame me for falling for them
and not being strong
so I became worse when you wanted me better
felt so much I couldn’t even say in a letter
you never learned
so how do I expect you to teach
but I still fell and avoided your reach
Blame me for what you’ve done to me
Only He has the key to free me of my past
A power no one can surpass..

Fear

2010-03-28T19:02:00.001-07:00

I live in fear
constantly near tears
when anxiety appears
All I wanna do is
disappear and adhere
to what I know.
But what am I afraid of?
What is too heavy to shove?
It’s the constant battle
between us and them
The battle between bio and chem,
those bodies and our chemistry.
It’s the fear of getting trapped
in separate cages with only
our eyes at work and our hands at rest
its too hard to digest
and we cant attest
to what they say.
It’s the fear of trying
and them denying
It’s the fear of walking tall
then them coming down
and hawking all.
All that I’ve hoped for
All that I’ve groped for
I’m still tryna figure out life itself
But when fear creeps in,
All I’ve tried gets placed back on a shelf.
for when fear leaps out.
and when all i wanna do is
Forget
Everything
And
Run
I’m reminded that I must
Face
Everything
And
Recover
It’s that motivation I constantly need
In order for me to proceed
my way ahead to succeed
Cause I got somewhere to go
so I must leave fear down below.

I miss you this much

2010-03-28T19:01:00.002-07:00

Where have you been
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Waiting to sing another happy song
Waiting for you to be where you belong
I’ve been searching here and there
I swear it wasn’t fair for you and I
to be waiting for each other
There are many others
But we wouldn’t want another
cause we only want each other
Where did you go?
I didn’t know
I would miss you this much
Wherever you went
wasn’t as content
as the times we would’ve spent
Why did we part?
cause being apart
is like a bleeding heart
that doesn’t close up.
It heals then aches
then shakes and breaks
and all over again it goes
like neatly stacked leaves
that the wind blows
Baby, it’s been longer than
the longest time
Lately, you’ve been farther
than the farthest place
so pack your bags and come back
Track me down, get what you lacked
Show is over so roll on over
And I miss your touch in such
a way, so let’s get in touch.
Cause I miss you this much
as I sit here and clutch
your picture in my hands
as I wait the day when
this picture takes form
to keep me warm.

I wish I knew you

2010-03-28T19:01:00.001-07:00

I sit here and think
Eyes on my thoughts
without a blink
people around me distraught
and I with a silent cry
I sit here pensive, watching them
Hard to reach like Eminem
I wish I knew you like they do
Then I’ll feel what they feel
and know what they lost
Hi - I barely spoke
this word to you.
Why, I never looked
you in the face.
How, I never shared
your embrace
I wish I knew you
even if you were
a million miles away.
Even if there was a flood
I’d travel just to see my blood
Even if there was a hurricane
I’d reach you just to
see you in your cane
Even in snow,
I’d come to let you know
that I wouldn’t want you to go
But these weather warriors
never came to stop me
and i never made it across the sea
And you left before I got a chance
to pull my boat off shore
to travel, to reach you,
to come and say hello.
How do I say bye to
someone I never really knew?
I sit here and replay in my mind
your voice that I didn’t leave behind
from the one time I spoke to you
and the memories of their memories
I never knew you
but I wish I knew you
and If I knew you, then I’ll reminisce
on all the times I would miss
But I never knew you
so I sit here & reminisce
on all the times that would exist
and with all those times,
I can say bye bye.

Letting GO

2010-03-28T18:59:00.001-07:00

It was good while it lasted
you had the music blasted
so I couldn’t hear the siren
you had me in your game
just for me to show your fame
but it’s just a shame for me to say
that we’re not the same
and there’s not a soul to blame
I was the quarterback at times.
initiated almost all plays.
I threw and never once was I sacked.
It was not an act cause I knew for a fact
I had a good offensive linemen.
I was the tight end at other times
I ran and ran, never once
did I let the enemy unseen break through
I ran and ran, but never once
did I spot the ball from you
I ran and ran, but never once
would you send it my way
so few times I received my pay
I was left empty handed
But I still never left you stranded.
You were the wide receiver at all times
you caught all my passes
but this was all you wanted to be.
All you wanted was your gain
And I didn’t have a brain enough
to see the pain you would strain
just to complete your reign
Now the game seems over,
The game that was played selfishly
The game I thought was a two way street
The game that left me speechless
But I must let go I guess
Of this un-fixable mess,
That just leaves me feeling stressed
Letting go is never easy
It can leave you feeling queasy.
But before I go, I’ll ask you this
Give me one last kiss
Goodbye..

More than just a simple gal

2010-03-28T18:58:00.001-07:00

Hi, my name is Val
but I’m more than just a simple gal
Yea I speak, read and write
But can I live, love and laugh
Can I stay positive
among all the negativity
Can I stand firm
as I’m held in mere captivity
Am I able to learn
not to give in to life’s decay
Let the current take me away
where I will suffer, hate and cry
Let the dust penetrate my eye
cloud my vision
can’t avoid a collision
and it forces an incision
through my stomach
then shiver as the temperature
brings me down.
But this isn’t my decision.
So I cannot let this overtake me
What’s best for me to undertake?
It’s whatever makes me happy
not what aches me and leaves me sappy
So I’d rather go down town
walk through a war with no weapons
but I’ll have a bullet proof vest on
cause my name is Val
and I’m more than just a simple gal
cause Thy rod and Thy staff
they comfort me.
cause You’re my rock,
my sword, my shield.
cause there's a time to rest,
to forget about all this mess
that plagues our lives
and traps our minds
but then we wake up
and tend to make up
for yesterday's loses,
if only we would just
leave it up to Him up above,
if we must, our wear to dust,
white as a dove,
clean for tomorrow's gain.

I gotta go

2010-03-28T18:57:00.004-07:00

This poem is like a part 2 to a previous poem i wrote: 'My Time.'

It’s about that time
It’s been a long tedious climb
I was prosecuted as if it was a crime
I know my time is almost over
but I’m tired of waiting for tomorrow
cause what if tomorrow never comes
what if I’m kept here way too long
just to sing another sad song
I gotta go cause I gotta grow
I gotta live and later forgive
Can’t stay here any longer
It doesn’t kill me so
it makes me stronger.
but it almost kills me
So I’m nearly weaker.
I’ll borrow tomorrow
and show you how
I can be so in sync with u
But I’m right here, right now
So I cannot allow myself to
sit here and dream,
or think someone
will hear my scream,
my plea for help.
So I must find my own way outside
where I can be my own person
cause I’m not who I pretend to be.
where I can ride with pride,
not have to lie
not have to cry
when they freeze my night
not have to hide
but shine my light.
I gotta go I tell you
Somewhere, far away
where I wont be their prey
where I can love in peace
and share the feast
and just be approved.
But how do I go
Must I simply walk out
Or wait for tomorrow
But what if tomorrow never comes
And I can’t hold in anymore sorrow
echoes so loud like the sound of drums
I wanna let it out cause it’s the truth
But even though the truth is disapproved,
it shall only set me free. .

Searching

2010-03-28T18:57:00.003-07:00

If you were given the chance
to have anything in this world
your number one desire,
which only the one true God can grant
What would you ask for?
What are you longing for?
I look across the street and the lonely
young man walking, head down, as I watch
his feet take turns hitting the ground just
wants to find his one true love.
I search the eyes of the young girl whose
parents after years of satisfaction
now take love for granted
just wants to find that
same source of happiness back in her heart.
Then I struggle and stoop down to the eyes
of the poor fellow down by the riverside
barely making enough to stand,
tells me his powerful tool called hope,
helps him to stretch
a little bit farther to that pot of gold.
Up next, I spot a single mom,
rushing to the daycare from work
to pick up her three beautiful kids
she looks my way
and the bags under her eyes tells me all.
She seeks a life without stressful situations.
I stop by a high school nearby
and my attention goes to a young girl,
about the age of 14
Her smile is as bright as the sun.
But few really know the darkness
that swept her heart three times.
What is heaven like if
she was living in paradise on earth?
So she lives with hope and assurance
of seeing mom, dad and sister one day again.
What is it that you want?
Love and compassion? A better life? Happiness?
Whatever it may be,
Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
And I’m just searching for . .
PEACE:
to love and live without imposition.

Invisible

2010-03-28T18:57:00.001-07:00

You can’t see me
Cause I’m not like thee
Am I invisible?
Am I not divisible
by your number?
So I should slumber
For when you need me
and try to wake me
and hold me as a scapegoat
for when your throat is gone
and you need someone
to speak for you
or when your pockets are thorn
and you need someone
to sew it up
or when your shoes are worn
and you need someone
to walk your way.
I should stay asleep or
I should get up, creep up
To watch you plow the soil
bear the toil, all by yourself
cause you can’t remember myself
when the sun shines
and all is alive and well.
Is the sun too bright
that you can’t see my sight
or should God lessen the light
Cause this isn’t right.
So when the sun sets
you too will become invisible to me
you will blend with the darkness
and see the harshness you bestowed upon me.
Is this too harsh?
What’s harsh is being ignored half the time
What’s harsh is having to watch from afar
the fun you enjoy in the sun but
when the rain starts to pour,
everyone runs for cover and
you come running to the invisible.
“Where art thou,” you utter.
But will I be there anymore?
In my head, I’ll hear two voices and one will say,
“I won’t see you cause you aint like me.”
But the greater force will say,
“You have heard that it was said,
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer.
But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek,
turn the other also.”
Will I be able to forget the wrongs
and follow the God in me?
Cause I’m only human . .

Before its too late

2010-03-28T18:56:00.002-07:00

It feels like
I’m in this tunnel called life
and I’m looking for answers
on these cave walls
The only problem is, it’s too
dark to read the cave markings
Something isn’t right.
I’m looking for these answers
but every corner I turn
I feel like something is missing.
I know I need you in front of me.
But why can’t I trust you?
Trust you to hold my hand
And show me the way
Because It says you are
The Way, The Truth, and The Life
But still what’s wrong with me?
You’ve knocked at my door
But I pushed you away as if you
were an intruder invading my privacy.
Sin is so bad, it’s holding me back
The rain is pouring down
I keep getting wetter
But I can’t move
Don’t know where to go
Don’t know how to start going
And like a beggar in the streets
You offered me food
But I refused, demanded money:
The root of all evil.
I know I lie to make it through the day
I know I’m attracted to this sinful world
Like a magnet, I’m pulled
towards worldly attractions
But pull me back with a stronger force
Hold me close to you cause
I’m tired of the way I’m living,
tired of having to hide my heart from them
tired of being distant from you.
Spent days without a word to you.
In church but mind on my worries
Lord, I feel you calling so
Help me Lord
Before there’s no time left
Before the Book of Life Is closed
Before the sun becomes
black like rough black cloth
Before the full moon becomes
red like blood
Before the stars in the
sky falls to the earth
Like figs falling from a
fig tree when the wind blows
Before you come and take us
up above where its better
than down below cause
I just wanna be saved . .

Picture Perfect

2010-03-28T18:56:00.001-07:00

What do you do
When you’ve found
Someone who makes
your heart smile.
Makes you go that extra mile
Laughs at your corny jokes.
Calls you 2 minutes
after leaving the phone with you
saying he needs to
hear your soft snores
while you sleep so he tells his mom
to get to know you
Cause the only one
He wants to wake up to is you
Prays with you at 11:OO pm
Because God is our strength
Holds your hands with gentleness
Looks you straight in the eyes
Says `I love you’
Tightens your grip and
Says `Im here forever’
You say `I love you too’
Cause you feel the same way
You stay put because
You have the one element he needs
He has the one element you need
And together we make a compound.
So you compound
this memory into a picture
But listen
What do you do
When this picture gets distorted
Your cheese becomes a please
When speckles begin to appear
You see images
in the background advance
Murmuring , speaking loud
to the point where they’re
disrupting the cameraman
Words pick up like
He’s not good enough
Don’t like the color of his tie
Suit is too cheap
Wait for someone I prefer,
a Sherlock Holmes
But wait a minute.
I thought this was my picture
Thought it was only going to be
You & I
Who invited these critics?
They look familiar
I know them enough to say
We share the same blood
So what do you do
When they try to advance forward
Squeeze in between us
And he’s almost falling off the set
It’s not jealousy because
I’ve taken 16 pictures with them already
Only three with him
Do I call cut?
If only these uninvited guests would
stay in their box,
it would be picture perfect.
Do I take the picture somewhere else?
No, the former member of the CIA
is bound to find us.
Or can I take the picture
and Photoshop it?
Can I go ahead
And leave them in the background
And bound them from the foreground
If you’re holding my hands
And if your arms are around my waist
How can they get through?
They can’t, only if God serves as the glue
If God is for us, who can be against us
The one bit of happiness I have
Being ripped out of my hold
They may bite like a snake
Poison like a viper
But God is my cure
So what do I do?
Take four.

Poetry: a part of me

2010-03-28T15:19:00.001-07:00

I reside in an authoritarian country
The only difference between
South Korea and I is that
my dictator is my flesh and blood father.
from a Haitian descent
He came into power in my world
the day God blessed this earth with me.
Took my first breath at Kings County
Started in Flatbush
Parented by a stay at home dad
and mother working two jobs
to put food on the table.
Two brothers: one before, one after.
Like two before three but after one.
I was stuck in the middle.
Neither the oldest nor the youngest.
Then came my cousin, 4 years younger
Deported from her country to America
Happy to receive a girl amongst us
Finally someone to play dolls with
But that feeling soon began to
fade once my closet began to empty.
I was selfish, I was jealous.
It was a competition
All I wanted was attention.
My mom, she was there
but dad was the speaker of the house.
Every year the strictness and rules
increased for me
as well as for my three siblings.
Hated this form of government with a passion.
Rule #23 was no
watching television during the week
if we had attended school that day and
had school the following day.
Talking on the phone was very limited.
Like Maslow with his pyramid,
my loving dad also had one.
At the top sat ‘school’,
below was ‘food/water’
followed by ‘respect/obedience ‘
and everything unmentioned
fell into place below.
Having a boy/girl friend
was equivalent to taking drugs.
Basically it wasn’t allowed
and according to my fuzzy memory
I believe that was rule #2 in the book.
Hatred started to form
within the veins of my heart
Envy followed
and depression wasn’t too far behind
Felt like i was in vain.
Did I rebel you might ask?
I did at times but I later found out
that it wasn’t worth my energy.
I tried, I pleaded, I cried, and
I prayed but it didn’t change.
My cousin and I grew out
of this unseen jealousy because
When I was a child,
I talked like a child,
I thought like a child,
I reasoned like a child.
But I’ve grown and
I put childish ways behind me.
Before I was frustrated by all these rules
and now I almost accept them
because I have no choice.
I even understand that
my father is trying to do his best.
Growing up without his parents in Haiti,
had to create his own standards in his new home
with relatives who provided only food and shelter.
Perhaps ones best is all one can do.
I ended in LI and each day
just when the sun seemed like it would
appear from the clouds, It withdraws itself
right back under its shield.
But still why is poetry within me?
With pen and paper
It gives me self alliance
Cause all I feel is defiance once I speak out
I don’t have to be afraid of what people
might say cause I’m only human
I could find strength and stop running for cover
I can let go of fear and unscramble the words
That is meant to hear.
But till this day, every now and then
the same hatred, envy and depression
comes back to haunt me as I’m out on
the field picking out the wheat from the weeds
struggling to prove myself worthy
and when it does, my pen and paper
serves as my sword and shield
to cope and hope for the future.
A talent sent from God.

My Time

2010-03-28T15:18:00.002-07:00

Locked up in chains
Guards leading me to cell 19
Eyes drift from one
inmate cell to another
Creating my own story
of how they got here
Mine is one of unusual story
I’ll tell u how it is
I was looking,
looking to be accepted
But every door I tried to
open was locked
The keys were on a shelve
But I was too short to reach
Every river I tried to cross
was too deep, the boat was there
but the oars were missing
Every lens I peered through
was foggy, I cleaned them
and by the time
I raised them up to my face
they were once again foggy
Every coat I tried on
was too light for the cold
The feathers would slowly fall apart
But when I stopped looking
and saw it right before my eyes
The authorities told me that
It’s too much to want freedom out there
Too much to want peace
Too much to love
Too much to be who I wanna be
Too much to make mistakes
and learn from them
So they shut me out somewhere,
where I’m out of reach
Away from all I wanna be
Then I told them I have a few allergies
I’m allergic to control
It eats me up inside,
it’s like a disease the way it kills me
Allergic to hypocrisy
You tell me to be patient
bearing with one another in love,
yet you’re at the verge of
splitting my head in two
Allergic to failure
It came by me once and
I had to be admitted to an emergency room
So I’m not staying here for long
If Michael Scofield did it, so can I
I arrive at my cell
turn around as he’s closing the doors
Hands around bars
I say “I'm innocent and
I'm doing time because I wasn't lucky.”

The Wedding

2010-03-28T15:18:00.001-07:00

The cool breeze outside
The smell of the moist grass
Pollen infesting the air
It’s April.
The day we’ve been waiting for is here.
Family, friends, coworkers
all fill in seats like a pack of ants.
Mom, cousin, bestfriend
Surround me in the dressing room
Joy mixed with uneasiness lie within me
I slip on my long satin gloves.
I’m all dressed in white.
I exit and I make my way
towards the entrance of the chapel
I sense the excitement in the air
Suddenly the music begins
Canon in D Major, very traditional
All eyes turn and gaze at me.
Is my veil put on properly?
What if my diamond ring doesn’t fit right?
Questions of nervousness
I turn to my mom,
she smiles and winks at me
It’s my cue to walk
I enter and smile with dad in arm.
I whisper to him just before
“I loved this man since the day you denied us,
You thought you would never see this day.
But here you are in my arm,
leading me to the man you once rejected
and whom I loved since day one.”

The Test

2010-03-28T15:17:00.000-07:00

She worked so hard
She wrote her name
with a pencil.
as time progressed, it withered away.
Little did she know that
it was merely a test
she was working for.
An experiment for the real thing
She thought this was it.
Actually fell hard for it.
Fooled by the enemy lust.
Signs of lying, jealousy and betrayal
told her all.
But didn’t want to believe a word.
Forced herself not to.
Stubbornness covered it all.
Thought she could fix it all.
But how do you fix something
that is broken all over?
Didn’t last cause the signs,
just like the wind, were too powerful.
It broke the lid and shouted through her ears
that it was time to end the test
and hand it over to another taker.
It was loving and pleasing to the eye.
It was long and stressful to the heart.
No one passes or fails
But someone is compatible enough
for the opponent
Someone out there will write their name
and it will remain there
with a permanent marker.
Just not her.
The truth hurts so it cuts so deep,
penetrated her heart through.
As she entered a new era in her life
Things change, places change, feelings change.
Someone walks by with color,
amongst the black and white people of the city,
catches her glimpse
and she remembers the day she
walked in the test room for the first time.
This one feels strong, wide and big.
Maybe I can stamp my name on this one.
Or maybe it’s another pencil test, who knows?
Up above, he determines.
She can’t erase what’s already taken place
so she looks ahead towards the horizon.

Far along in life for her

2010-03-28T15:14:00.001-07:00

Born too soon
If only he came
4 years later.
You would not be there
But here.
He would not be here
But there. With her.
It is cause he's too early
Too early in history.
Or is it the fear of talk
amongst fellow peers.
It's both.
If only he could stop his time
and let her running till
she catches up.
So he lives with the acceptance
of how life put him here beforehand
To go by its motto of being unfair.
He still looks at her and dreams,
Dreams of being the one
to make her heart smile.
His nonchalant persona
allows him to still pursue you.
Quite frankly,
It doesn't matter to him
how far apart their years may be
because he believes
love isn't based on years.
Who controls the feeling that lies
deep within the corridors of the
human heart?
How does it end, the end
eventually revealed itself
with either a period.
or several...
and his heart was
never ever the same.
Till one day light shed once more
through the dim corridors.
And hope began to make its way.

Dreaming

2010-03-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

Pain,
it was preparation for my destiny.
Make it go away.
What’s wrong with me?
I look in the mirror
and all I see is failure in my eyes
and a heart full of pain.
Panic inflicts my face.
Fear creeps in the corner.
Every step I take,
I feel like I’m becoming
someone I don’t want to be,
someone I’ve been avoiding for so long.
It’s like I’m drowning in this misery.
How can this happen?
Where did everything go wrong?
Running, I’m frantically looking
for a way out of this dark alley.
But all the doors are locked
with no keys in sight.
The walls are closing in
so I’m running out of time.
I can't be in here much longer.
Or else.. or else I'm caught.
Caught up in these prison walls for good.
A nobody i will be labeled with. But.
A somebody is what I want to be.
Gasping for air,
I awake terrified but relieved.
Failure can’t be my option.
I can’t give up striving,
swimming in Lake Success.

Breaking his heart

2010-03-28T15:05:00.000-07:00

You see there was this girl,
confused, troubled
or maybe even lost.
Didn't know what to do
for she was going through this
for the first time.
Do I like you?
Do I love you?
She simply didn't know.
Her feelings were all tangled up inside.
She had to find herself
before it was too late.
With a pause on life itself,
she out on a conquest
To figure out if
he was worth her time.
This question seemed so small
but yet pondered on her life so heavily
Question after question
rushed through her mind
Like water running from a faucet.
Alas an epiphany
is what settled these questions.
She realized that she was
just rushing through life
Running faster than her mind can uphold
Its not her favorite T.V. show
but "Breaking his heart" is the only listing
So she presses play
and begins to watch her life
Now that she's found herself .